Friday, January 20, 2006

Anybody out there know a good story about Tucker Max?

Tucker Max has posted many stories on his website about he's had sex with tons of women, treated them all pretty shitty, and been a dick to pretty much everyone else. However, it seems as though we've only been getting half of the story.

There must be someone out there who has something negative to say about Tucker Max. There has to be someone who's had an unpleasent experience with him in the past. Whomever you are, please post them here! The Internet world needs to know the truth about Tucker. There's no reason why this tool should be able to talk himself up the way he does without his detractors letting the truth about him be known.

Regale us with your true-life Tucker Max stories!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

He likes his boy-toys well hung and uncut. Supposedly he likes to play with the foreskin.

Everyone said...

Cloud,

You are a douche.

Sincerely,
Everyone

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I have a Tucker Max story.

Tucker lives in my neighborhood in Flat Iron (I'm not sure where, but I think he lives on or around my block). I have seen him out at a local bar that I used to frequent. I had no idea who or what he was. He was just sort of a drunken loudmouth from the midwest who bragged how he was better than everybody else because he's fucked more women and had some sort of book deal. Thing was, in this pub, nobody could give a fuck. Finally one patron, an elderly man from Ireland named Jimmy told him that nobody cared, that he was getting on his nerves and if he didn't shut up he was going to kick Tucker's ass. Tucker, backed by his friends, decided to try and make fun of Jimmy. Jimmy sat back, laughed it off, looked at Tucker and swung his cane, hitting him dead in the knee. Tucker went down like a bitch, Jimmy went back to drinking his cheap beer. The owner, a guy named Butch came out and grabbed a screaming Tucker by the leg and dragged him out of the bar. His friends did absolutely jackshit as they were now outnumbered. Tucker was screaming stuff about suing the bar.

What's really fucked up, as Butch entered the bar after throwing Tucker out the front door, Tucker emerged and sucker punched Butch from behind, hitting him in the back of the head (Butch is about 5-8 200 and an ex-Marine). He then ran out of the bar and into the night. He has not been back to the bar since. I haven't seen him around the neighborhood since that incident (which occured in June).

Let's run this down. Tucker Max was an outward asshole at a bar, chastised and threatened a 75 year old man with a cane, got pimp slapped by the 75 year old man with a cane, got thrown out of the bar by a 55 year old man much smaller than him and then resorted to sucker punching the 55 year old man before running out of the bar like a straight up pussy.

Bet this story didn't make his site.

fuckyourself said...

so this one time i went out drinking with tucker.

by the end of the night, he had five chicks who wanted to fuck him. he proceeded to fuck all five of them repeatedly, ejaculating fifteen times. He then proceeded to strut his seventeen inch penis around town. by the end of the night, he had defeated the mighty scylla, cyclops, and cikones, and was just warming up. he then conquered all of asia and beat up mike tyson. then he got drunk and fucked some more hot girls. he then passed out, with a BAC of .99

Anonymous said...

He charge over $2,000 on my Amex without my permission.

Anonymous said...

You are going to get mocked mercilessly for a completely justifiable reason: you spelled 'douchebag' wrong in your URL. You idiot! I mean, yeah, Tucker Max wrote hilarious stories that happen to be untrue, but at least learn how to spell the name of your own site.

And since I'm neither Tucker Max nor you, I get to make fun of both of you with impunity. Deal with it.

snapeshly.dark said...

*shame*
I have a Tucker Max story. Unfortunately, I didn't know I had one until today. He's 'famous', but only in America.

I'm Irish. I have a bunch of family living all over the world, including certain parts of America. When I finished up in post-primary (Secondary/High School) I decided to take the 3 months we have off (before collage starts) to go and visit some of my family. I spet 1 month in Europe travelling to various uncles/anuts, one and a half months in America (ditto) and the last 2 weeks in Canada with a friend. I spent the first 2 weeks of my American tour with my cousin (we'll call her "Suicidey": she's ok now, but she was a crazy back then - 2 years ago).

Unfortunatly, this won't allow me to publish the whole story. I am out of "Characters". Let's just say the night was a bust and he was a jerk.