The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1601 – 1800 of 15917 Newer› Newest»"The movie announcement should come tomorrow in the trades, I'll post it and take questions etc as soon as its up. I talked about it a little last night, but not much."
You know that if he had gotten anything resembling a front-page spot, he would have announced it loudly.
I'm calling it right now - there will be no mention whatsoever of Tucker's "movie deal" in any of the "trades" tomorrow and Tucker will not acknowledge this for at least another few weeks; using the fact that he's traveling and giving speeches as an excuse for the lack of updates. But when he does, he will promise that some very big news is just around the corner.
anon 6:17- you nailed it. in fact in his post the "should" is italicized. i'm sure tucker will say something about how the trades buried it because no one in hollywood wants to admit tucker's business model is the new evolution etc etc etc
Nah, it will be in one of the "trades". But it will be an incredibly small article buried somewhere in the middle of the issue. Like so many other projects in Hollywood, its ultimate impact will be zero.
Ryan Holiday's blog is (unintentionally) the funniest thing Rudius has ever published. His rantings are inconsistent, incoherent, staggeringly arrogant and wholly delusional.
Take this post, which we'll probably see re-iterated as Tucker's excuse for why the story about his movie was disappeared from/buried in the trades.
Hollywood is delusional and broken! Which is why sites like Will Ferrell's Funnyordie are failing, unlike Tucker's site, Ryan's site and Rudius Media in general.
The proof is in the Alexa pudding!
i bet the director hasn't read thins blog yet....
So, the official announcement about the movie was supposed to come a week ago, and that got delayed in order to grant an exclusive to the Hollywood Reporter or Variety.
An exclusive which was supposed to be on page one. Today.
I don't understand how long Tucker thinks he can get by on this constant stream of bullshit.
tucker is betting that douchebaggery will never go out of style.
that is wht they seem to teach at duke.
but sometimes, throughout history, non-douchebags have finished first:
1) shakespeare
2) dante
3) einstein
4) martin luther king jr.
5) abraham lincoln
6) terry bradshaw
7) tom petty
8) mother teresa
9) george lucas
10) j.r.r. tolkien
11) seinfeld
12) bill cosby
13) bob dylan
14) tammy wynnette
15) audrey hepburn
i don't think any of these people went to duke, and yet they all did fairly well.
i would bet that duke law douchebaggery is on its way out:
http://alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com
Check out the alexa ratings...
He's fallen off the cliff.
http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/catalog.cfm?dest=dir&linkid=83&linkon=section
list of Kensington book authors...guess whose name is missing???
http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/
catalog.cfm?dest=dir&linkid=83
&linkon=section
http://alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com
this shows what happens when the duke faculty/administration/teachers pets hires you to speak about douchebaggery. you lose all credibility.
Shitball is still on their website though.
http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/finditem.cfm?itemid=9331
$9 bucks, 30% off . . . what did Billy Joel say back in the 80s about "find me in the back on the discount rack?"
The price on the Kensington website is cheaper than it is on Amazon. Sounds like they're trying to do a fire sale to get rid of any mention of his name.
From Ryan Holiday: "They're just waiting on placement right now but the story should go Thursday or Friday."
if ryan holiday directs i will buy the dvd 4 sure.
that would be the awesomest unitentional humor ever.
i challenge anyone to come up with a better combo than a tucker script and holiday directing.
and they should get all the rudius bloggers to star in it.
i challenge anyone to come up with a better combo than a tucker script and holiday directing.
I don't think anybody can top that. I was going to say TheBunny but she is such a fucking retard that the movie would never be made. Holiday would actually believe his own bullshit and try to make a work of "art."
and they should get all the rudius bloggers to star in it.
They're going to have to. Even Casper van Dien wouldn't touch this piece of shit and he's been in the worst B movies I've ever seen.
omg
that would be friggin hilarious
tucker could play himself--why not?
ryan holiday would be mini me.
bunny would be on roller skates the whole time, just carting around.
all the rudius bloggers would be shown.
the plot would be a rudius convention.
robert greene would be wearing a robe like jesus.
ryan holliday would lead seminars on the future of hollywood and success.
tucker would keep boasting about his alexa score and then pretend he doesn't knowwhat alexa is.
the rudius bloggers would sit around a campfire and we could gain insight into their plan for world domination.
this would be so friggin hilarious.
it would get major distribution.
it would rival waiting for guffman and best in show.
it would document tucker promising front-page variety news the throughout the whole movie.
the last scene would be ryan holliday and kungfu mike packig up tucker's car as he hooked it with one last hollywood skank who ryan had brought home the night before.
i give these ideas freely. please shoot this asap.
This sucks, man. The announcement went from maybe being on the front page, to being in the queue, which means the trade papers will publish it when they can, where they can find room for it.
First we found out the revolution wouldn't be televised, now we find out it won't even be on the front page.
I wonder if the revolution will even be in theaters?
According to Amazon, Tucker’s new book is being published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment, which is an imprint at Simon & Schuster. This is not quite as prestigious as it sounds, as the following quote from a New York Times article reveals:
“"Ninety percent of our authors are first-time authors, and most of them have platforms in other media," Ms. Bergstrom said recently. "And what we decide to publish is greatly affected by our publicity department - who we can get on 'The Daily Show' or who might be great on a radio tour."
What Simon Spotlight Entertainment has done - rather successfully in its first year in business - is to tap quickly into pop culture currents.”
Simon Spotlight, by their own tacit admission, attempt to make a quick buck off the popularity of short-lived phenomena. It’s publishing at its most cynical. To shift units they rely on the existing profile of an author and their ability to create an endearing persona that will come across well on Radio or TV. Tucker as we all know is a poor interview who exhibits as much sparkling wit as a glass of flat coke.
Also I love the bit about 90% of authors on the imprint being first-time authors. How many books has Tucker published now – is it two or three? It’s like he’s been held back a year at school.
Not only that, but this article just shows that the only reason they're publishing Max is because he's a pop-culture item. We all know that pop-culture is the place where real art and substance go to die; yet Tucker champions himself as a true artist and a visionary.
According to SHIT FOR BRAINS:
"I told Ryan to post this a few hours ago b/c I was busy with Paul, but he put it in the wrong thread:
The THR story is done and we are waiting on them to give it the right placement. Could be Friday. Who knows with the trades, but it's coming."
source post
Seems like Rudius Editor Donika Miller also had to get another job. Really looks as if the "company" is falling apart.
Link
--Books that tell us lies --http://media.www.michigandaily.com/media/storage/paper851/news/2008/03/06/TheBSide/Books.That.Tell.Us.Lies-3255649.shtml
"Even Tucker Max, who carries a tape recorder with him everywhere he goes, admits on his own website that when he couldn't remember a detail, he just made it up."
--Books that tell us lies --http://media.www.michigandaily.com/media/storage/paper851/news/2008/03/06/TheBSide/Books.That.Tell.Us.Lies-3255649.shtml
Well, well, well. It is FRIDAY. Nothing on the Variety or Hollywood Reporter websites about the movie.
Wasn't the whole reason he didn't start a thread about the director that he wanted to give "the trades" an exclusive? It's obvious they could care less about this story; so granting them some kind of exclusive is ridiculous.
He's just stalling, either because:
a) There was never a director attached in the first place
or
b) There was a director, but they bailed.
What if it turns out that assholes don't finish first?
What are all the rudius bloggers going to do for a living?
It's gotta keep ryan holiday up at night.
I could just see him, "My name is ryan and I was Tcuker Max's mini me..."
Either (a) they won't know who Tucker was or (b) they will, and they will slam the door/slam the phone down on ryan.
if ryan does not direct, i will not buy he dvd.
http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com?site0=tuckermax.com&site1=ryanholiday.net&y=r&z=3&h=300&w=610&range=3y&size=Medium
This is awesome. It could well be argued that Ryan Holiday dropped Tucker's traffic.
Ot that Tucker's demise killed Holiday.
It's a perfect graph of Tucker & Tucker's mini-me.
wow i knew tucker was doing bad. didn't realize he was at his lowest traffic in 3 years!
Tucker's web traffic looks like a battered equity security, slowly transitioning to "penny stock" status.
The traffic continue to decrease over time. He isn't getting new fans, as the old ones continue to leave. That's the irony: Unlike Tucker, most 14-19 year old boys mature.
What you have to understand was that Tucker was a private corporate creation.
Tucker played by every rule.
He was a teacher's pet and won scholarships. He always, always, always toed the line and conformed to very viacom/duke/u of chicago wish.
Like Jason Bourne, he was their finest creation. the pinnacle of douchebaggery.
He attended two of the finest schools which gave him scholarships & money to speak.
Viacon gave him tons of cash--pumped him full of that fiat money... gave him an mtv show... a vanity fair story on a potential comedy central deal... hundreds of thousands of dollars to recruit the best and brightest bloggers...
and yet....
there is something our best and brightest--our dawkins fanboys and robert greene koolaid drinkers-- didn't account for...
now what might that be?
The best part of all is that Freak Safari now has a higher Alexa rating than Tucker Max and Ryan Holiday combined.
It is clear that the biggest mistake Tucker & co. made was ditching off BCWoods because he comprised somewhere around 40% of Rudius' readership. BCWoods was quickly snapped up by IamRob and has spiked the Freaksafari brand name through the roof.
IamRob called this over a year ago. The saddest part is that it reads straight out of a Robert Greene book: Completely destroy your enemy or they will return stronger than ever and will lead to your ultimate demise.
Freaksafari has quietly been building it's fan base and is poised to topple the Rudius empire. Not to let the secret out of the bag for you ingrate morons that frequent this place, but let's just say Freaksafari might have it's own movie in the works - and it might expose "someone" as being a liar with PROOF that a certain "story" from a "book" is bullshit.
11:04 - I'm not really sure where you're getting your data from, but Ryan Holiday's site alone crushes Freak Safari. Tucker is still ranked around 11,000. Freak Safari hasn't even cracked the top 100,000.
I'm not defending Tucker here, and I think it was ridiculous that he let BC Woods leave, but Freak Safari is barely a blip on the radar. This site probably gets more traffic than Freak Safari does.
HAHAHAHA . . . NOTHING on Hollywood Reporter about the movie.
I have no idea where this shit about Freak Safari is coming from. Freak Safari wasn't created to be an anti-Tucker thing and Rob certainly isn't trying to topple him. He doesn't care about him.
"The bad news is still no official announcement, the good news is that we already have a line producer, casting director attached and at least one platinum selling artist contributing original music to the sound track (that's an easy guess). By the time one of the trades puts us on the front page, we'll be fucking shooting.
Everything in Hollywood takes twice as long as you think it will. Whatever, next week it'll come, and then I'll get everyone up to date."
when you have paul wall as your headlining artist on the soundtrack...wow
Does anyone else see the irony in Max's constant derision of 'mainstream media', yet he put his loyal messageboard gaggle second in line behind 'the trade papers?' If mainstream media's got it all wrong, why would he be so interested in their attention?
Doesn't anyone get it? The reason is because TUCKER NEEDS ATTENTION. Everything he does, even though he probably doesn't actively realize it, is done so that he can be the center of SOMEone's attention.
Isn't it doubly ironic that Max is playing-cool the fact that the trade papers don't seem to care, yet that if they had put him on the front page, Tucker would consider that a victory for himself?
If Tucker thinks getting a line producer and casting agent in LA is a big deal, he's sadly mistaken. All you need is a script, a little under 300K raised and a rock to throw into a crowd at the Farmer's Market because most likely you will hit a "line producer" and "casting agent".
This is not big news, this isn't even a baby step. Tucker has absolutely no idea what he's doing if he's touting this as news for his film.
There are hundreds of casting agents in LA, there are literally only 4-5 really good ones who have great relationships with the actors. Unless Tucker has one of the 4-5, he's bragging about hiring a crew member, nothing more.
A line producer is the guy whom Tucker is going to hate the most. He'll be the dude who tells him " you can't afford this" or "stop fucking the extras when we're shooting, you're costing us time and money."
What's next? Tucker bragging about getting a gaffer and best boy?
nah...it'll be a key grip next
he's got a key grip: Right hand on lubed penis, left middle finger inserted into unlubed asshole.
It must kill TM that this site is funnier than anything thats appeared on his site for years.
TM's latest post about him bitching at a clerk in an airport bookstore b/c his book isn't properly ranked is the essence of his douchbaggery.
TM would be a natural for the hotchickswithdouchebags.com Hall of Fame, however there are zero pics of him with any girls that are even remotely hot.
Good to see The Bunny posting regularly again. I guess when you no longer have a book to work on you have a bit more time on your hands.
"Good to see The Bunny posting regularly again. I guess when you no longer have a book to work on you have a bit more time on your hands."
I actually feel sorry for Erin. She;s so fucked up that she actually lives with and is dependent on a dude like Tucker even after he treated her like shit.
From http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/2006/01/
angry-post-from-tucker-maxs-ex.html
"He will tell you he loves you and wants to have children with you. When you then get pregnant, he will say that he has about two to four more years of drinking and whoring left to do, so a baby isn’t in the cards. He will coerce you into an abortion by threatening to give away your dog if you try to have the child. Then he will be evasive so that you will be forced to dump him and he can get off scot-free.
-When you get upset about this, he will tell you that you are over-emotional. When you try to explain how this hurts, he will ignore you till you find yourself screaming and breaking things. He will explain these outbursts to his drinking buddies as so: “Yeah she’s fucking crazy. She flips out on me like every third day.”"
Anon 3/08/2008 4:13 PM -
I agree with you and don't believe Tucker's story for a second. I assume this alleged incident happened at IAH when he was done seeing Paul Ball and was going back to LAX. I've been held up in IAH numerous times (have to fly there for work) and don't remember the Borders being anything but tiny storefronts even smaller than the Borders Express I see in the local mall.
I might have to fly through there in 2 weeks - if I do, you can bet I'm going to stop by the Borders.
To the guy who posted about flying to the Houston airport - why not just call the store now? You can get the store numbers online. Here is the link to the store. Wonder if the staff there can verify if they have the NYT best-sellers listed according to number.
Hahahahahaha you are all so fucked.
This site was created by me and a worm has captured all of your ISP addresses. We are tracing your true identities as you read this so we can post a masterful clusterfuck of a serial homage to all the fuckers out there who dare hate on us.
Prepare for the raping. Genghis Khan already has an erection in his grave.
Um, haven't you promised that before? Just like Tucker's promise of an imminent "HUGE" announcement, I suspect this will come to absolutely nothing.
And even if you were telling the truth, so what?
"Kungfu Mike said...
Hahahahahaha you are all so fucked.
This site was created by me and a worm has captured all of your ISP addresses. We are tracing your true identities as you read this so we can post a masterful clusterfuck of a serial homage to all the fuckers out there who dare hate on us.
Prepare for the raping. Genghis Khan already has an erection in his grave.
3/09/2008 6:21 PM"
That's great Mike, while you're at it, could you get me fries with that?
It's all true.
Tucker Max has assembled a team of hackers that include a black guy in a wheelchair, a sulky girl with dreadlocks that are all dyed different colours, a fat white guy who is always reading Green Lantern comics and another white guy who looks a bit like Keanu Reeves and is the best hacker ever. There are no Asians or lesbians on the team because an Asian lesbian killed Tucker's partner a day before he was due to retire from the force.
All they do is hack into computers and listen to alternative rock music like Linkin Park. No one can stop them. Not even goggle or Nintendo.
Tucker Max has a Playstation 5 and is going to post pictures of it on his website on Tuesday at the latest.
Tucker Max owns a hamster that can predict the future.
Tucker can see into the very nature of all living things and is at one with the trees and the flowers.
Tucker max just hired a gaffer for his movie.
Oh, sorry, fluffer. Ryan hates it when you get his title wrong.
Kungfu Mike,
Of course you did. Given your obvious skill sets, which include skulking back to Mommy in nowheresville, I am certain all of the posters who mock TM & his band of idiots are shaking in a cold sweat, worrying that they are about to be wahoo'd or whatever it is that TM does to acquire revenge.
Personally, I hope you did do that, and also are going to all the trouble of determining the identities of the haters. It would simply reinforce what a bunch of losers TM has gathered around him in an effort to prop up his ego. Speaking for myself, this site is a quick 2 minute visit every other day or so, just for amusement. For TM & his cronies, it seems to be a source of ongoing angst & outrage.
And my personal apologies to you---it seems that ever since you couldn't hack it in Socal, and had to retreat to the backwater of Portsmouth NH, TM wasted no time in replacing you as chief ass-licker with young Ryan Holiday. I hope your fragile ego soon recovers.
Oh, I forgot, WE are the bitter ones who are angry our life isn't turning out the way we wished. Thats why I haven't moved back home with Mommy.
Hey Mike, aren't you going to grovel for a job again?
So when is Tucker going to pay you?
I very much doubt that the above poster really is KungFu Mike.
If it is then I feel sorry for him. It must be transparently obvious to anyone who reads his blog that his life would be better if he stepped out of Tucker's shadow and took charge of his own destiny.
still no news in variety??? the horror!!!
"still no news in variety??? the horror!!!"
The story will appear in The Hollywood Reporter, sir.
Right after "Assholes Finish First" wins the Pulitzer Prize for General Non-Fiction.
I wonder if Tucker's movie will match the critical and commercial success of Highlander II: The Quickening.
I don't think that was really Kungfu Mike either - namely because the post didn't read like this:
"I will viciously hate-fuck a quart-sized vat of battery acid into the ugly side of your terminally retarded ape-skull while I aggressively mouth-rape your inbred mother until she sheepishly utters her half-wit apologies for conceiving you in the back of the rusty short-bus on the way to her 'remedial education for recovering crack addicts' class on the poor side of town."
You know, because the more words one can squeeze into an overly long, run-on sentence, the wittier and more awesome the insult is.
This creative writing lesson was brought to you by the school of Kungfu Mike writing - where success is just a self-delusion away!
3/11/2008 7:28 AM:
I'd be hard-pressed to guess whether you made that up, or if you just lifted it from one of Tai Chi Mike's "brilliant" slams.
Tucker Max is a Zionist Kike.
"And I have just been told the story is finished and they are just deciding on placement.
Of course, this is the third time I've been told this, so whatever. We'll see."
Story?
OK, I'm not in the entertainment industry, but seriously, what is there to write in terms of a story?
In other industries, your PR Department or PR agency writes the press release. If the Editor of the publication thinks the press release is newsworthy, it is then copied (and edited) for a story, which only takes (at most) 10 minutes.
Seriously, does Tucker really know what the hell he is talking about, or is he just underestimating the intelligence of his message board audience?
We can deduce one thing from the delay in Tucker's scoop making it into print. Whoever is directing is not a big name.
I will viciously hate-fuck a quart-sized vat of battery acid into the ugly side of your terminally retarded ape-skull while I aggressively mouth-rape your inbred mother until she sheepishly utters her half-wit apologies for conceiving you in the back of the rusty short-bus on the way to her 'remedial education for recovering crack addicts' class on the poor side of town.
~KungFu Mike
Just wanted to remind everyone - it's been two weeks since Tucker was supposed to post a thread about the director for IHTSBIH, and it's been more than a week since the story was supposed to hit "the trades."
The movie, like his TV show, will NEVER materialize, and any mention of it will eventually be disapeared from the web site and message board.
I haven't visited the TM message board in ages. I do hope that members bump the earlier Max thread about appearing on the front page of Variety. Due to his ego-stroking lies, he has given himself zero wiggle room.
I will say this: I love Hulu for a different reason. Every stupid thing the entertainment companies do makes it easier for me to succeed. I love watching them flounder around, trying to turn the internet into a TV. I hope they keep doing that. In ten years I'll team with the equity firm that buys up the content IP section of the Viacom sell-off, and then do what they should have done years ago but couldn't: Create worlds around the content.
Oh, so now it's a ten-year plan? Just when exactly is the revolution supposed to take place, Tucker? He's so full of shit it is truly breathtaking.
from one of his blogads:
I cannot emphasize how much this book [the autobiography of Malcolm X] moved me and how important it was to my development as a man. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm fucked up, but I relate to Malcolm very intensely as a person. - Tucker Max
How the fuck does a rich, white, spoiled asshole woman-hater related to Malcolm X?
This has to be the stupidest thing ever come out of Tucker's mouth (after DrunkRex's dick, of course).
Man, that thread about "Hulu" is great. It made it 7 pages before being closed because several people were disagreeing with Tucker and butt boy Holiday. It has such great moments like when Tucker says.
"I am about to go into a casting meeting (yes, we are that far along, and yes, it is pissing me off that I can't talk about it b/c fucking THR is dragging ass on the story), but here are some short answers:"
THR is dragging ass on the story because there is no story. If this was going to be a page one release story that would generate intrest wouldn't they print it ASAP?
The guy is delusional. Go read that thread give Tucker the traffic it's worth it.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=20670
Reading between the lines of Tucker's posts on the Hulu thread, I sense his growing insecurity that the online content revolution is going to happen without him - a highly plausible scenario if you ask me.
Meanwhile that empty vessel, Ryan Holiday exhibits his usual mule-like levels of delusion. One day someone in a genuine position of power is going to say to him: "You talk a lot; what have you actually achieved?"
Tucker's reliance on preemptive hype is backfiring and making him look like a complete idiot. If he really is committed to going outside the Hollywood system, then wouldn't he be better off chronicling the development of his film via an online blog, as opposed to waiting for a three line paragraph to appear in one of the trades.
A tucker Ryan show would be hilarious.
Just a vidoe of him and Ryan talking about the revloution. That would totally beat Lonely Girl even, maybe.
Has Tucker heard of online video?
How come they haven't bought a $900camcorder and final cut and taken over the world yet?
Why do they have to wait for Hollywood Reporter to write an article?
When are we going to get around to the Revolution?
Where do you think Tucker ranks on the pay scale in Hollywood with regards to people in their mid thirties?
I wonder who has more money. Tucker & Ryan or the creators of youtube/facebook/networks/shows/writers and filmmakers?
Tucker's problem is simple--under all that internet bravado is a deeply insecure person. TM NEEDS to have the recognition of Variety or The Hollywood Reporter, even if it is a page 8 three line note. He keeps telling outrageous lies (such has his book being on the shelf in an airport bookstore & him correcting the staff as to where it should be placed) that he can't really be caught at. The cancellation of his TV show is another example--of course it was up to him! Do you really think that his fanboys have any method of verifying what TM tells them?
TM has basically failed at everything he has attempted, the one notable exception being the ongoing sales of his book. He failed at his familial relationships. He failed at sports in school. He failed at becoming a lawyer. He failed at the military (this particularly bugs him as his failure was b/c he couldn't hack it physically). He has failed at every relationship he has ever had. He has repeatedly failed at cracking Hollywood. And now he lives with two sycophants in a crappy rental in NoHo. The only success in his life has been his ability to surround himself with damaged people who cling to his every word. He has repeatedly turned violent whenever Erin has tried to leave, and she is more fucked up now than in any of her blog postings. Mike basically tossed a couple years of his life down the drain following TM around.
And now he desperately needs the validation that an article in THR or Variety will give him. Of course it means nothing---he is just another also-ran, without an agent or any real track towards Hollywood/mainstream success. He is no different than all of those L.A. waiters/valets/PAs who end up producing their own low-budget film in the hopes that it will give them their shot at everlasting glory. Based on TM's record of failing, this should be like watching a car crash unfolding in front of us.
Like a lot of you have been saying - what, exactly is holding Tucker back from making some kind of announcement about his movie on the message board or his blog?
His initial lie was that he was going to grant an exclusive, page-one story to Variety or THR, and then post about it.
Now that he's admitted that THR is giving him the run-around, does he really think he's going to make page one? And would talking about the progress he's supposedly making really hurt the already dismal chances of an article being published at all?
And if he's so hell-bent on the notion that the "old system" is failing, why would he even need to be recognized by THR, a shining example of the current status quo in Hollywood?
Shouldn't he just launch the movie web site and focus his energies on building up online buzz? Isn't that "the future"?
I agree with Tucker on this one. TV on the internet is going nowhere. the future is bloggers like drunkasoreass rex posting links to low quality youtube videos.
Tucker's screwed if he's in casting. He's been virtually blackballed by his old agency and management and it's going to carry over when he goes to casting. No agent is going to want to attach their clients to a poison well such as Tucker. If he doesn't see it coming, then he will soon. Plus his content isn't exactly "art film", so the caliber of actor whom he wants and the caliber that he can get are going to be two differen things.
I'm prety sure at this point that the type of director he's going to land is going to be a D-Rate ex-indie film guy who probably hasnt worked in years.
The only person who is still saying Tucker is a talented writer is Tucker. His script, from what I've heard, was pretty weak. He's looking at CAMEO ROLES TO SAVE HIS FILM. He's not talking about his actual FILM being revolutionary, he's talking about his business model being revolutuonary. The funny part being is his business model HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE.
Tucker is in a prime position to make a 100% honest film about himself--to document that professional douchebaggery/assholery gets one nowhere cool fast. He and Ryan could sit on his couch and talk about all their lost opportunities, their hubris, and their downfall. It would be fun to hear how that although he had every single advantage, including scholarships from dumbed-down douchebag schools and hundreds of ks in cash from billion dollar corporations, his hubristic suckage is what won in the end. . . . . . . . . such a documentary would bring in millions.
wow, you guys still give a fuck about this washed up roundmouth?
seriously, get out of your parent's basement. He was cool 4 years ago. It's over.
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Tucker_Max
I was watching a Bruce Lee movie last night. Nobody doubts his skills today, but back in the day, some people challenged him because they thought he was just an actor, and some people challenged him because they wanted to make a name for themselves.
Every time, he delivered the goods.
Compare that to tucker. The only time he has game is in his stories. And when challenged he bans accounts.
Time the fuck out. He just put up a thread that asks for the names of his characters. Shouldn't the script be done enough to include that sort of information? Or am I missing something? Unless the "Tucker Max" character simply calls everyone by their nicknames THROUGH THE ENTIRE MOVIE. Rewrite city. A comedy of errors.
And at this point, its simply taking a few minutes a week to watch the potential of someone interesting absolutely be devoured by his own megalomania. Jealousy be damned, we should view this as road map of what not to do.
Chances are his "friends" threatened a lawsuit if their names were used.
Or maybe he couldn't find any actors and decided it was the name "brownhole", not the script, not his minimum wage, not his bullshit, not his reputation that was to blame.
Why wouldn't he use fictitious names? Since when has Tucker started writing truthful recollections?
I don't think Tucker has a real script either. He probably penned a typical Tucker Max story, where the central character has all the snappy one liners, and the support characters just stare with mouths agape. Even his friends don't even have personalities in his short stories; like his “fat girl victims”, they are just props.
still no news on THR or Variety...guess the story was too massive to fit on the front page
Tucker is still banking on a front page from THR. I'm not in a position to comment on how plausible this might be. Logic would dictate that the front page of any periodical is for important breaking news stories. Not something that's been kept on ice for weeks and is beginning to smell a little pungent.
How uncreative is Tucker if he can't even think of the NAMES of his own characters? That's sad.
I don't actually think this will happen, but...
wouldn't it be hilarious if Tucker announced, at some point, that he had
'pulled' THR's exclusive, supposedly because they were taking too long, and was making the official announcement himself, on his site/board? That in reality, he had never offered THR a story, or they turned him down/refused to give him the announcement he wanted, etc.? After all, every time Hollywood rejects him, he spins it so that everything happened on HIS terms. I've never seen someone so desperate for attention - he constantly mocks and critiques 'the system', yet hinges the announcement of his defining work on the willingness of that system to throw him a bone... a bone that has yet to materialize, by the way.
Tucker's business model is based on a "best case scenerio". Actually, scratch that, it's based upon the "impossible case scenerio". He's hedging his film on his internet traffic and that everybody who goes to his site will all pay 10 bucks to see his picture. The box office doesn't even matter to Tucker, as he's fixing it so he'll make the majority of his money on the DVD sales.
This isn't revolutionary, this has been done before. MIRAMAX figured out that video was where they made most of their money somewhere around the time they were shelling out 10 million dollars on films that weren't even breaking 5 at the box office (The movie Sling Blade being a prime example). They would presell everything and then roll the dice on BO. Regardless of that, they would make the majority of their $$$ on the back end when the film would go to VHS.
Tucker believes he'll be able to raise capital through things like product placement in order to secure the 6 million dollars. Of course any major company is going to balk at working with him (just look at his ad sales for his own site). His film, unless they land a HUGE lead actor to carry the film, won't rate a blip on the radar to the PP people at the major corporations. Yes, Tucker's characters will drink, and he'll try to whore his name out saying how he loves their product, which is why it's in the film. In 6 million dollar films, it's unlikely they will give $$$, they always give a trade out in kind. This means if Tucker is going to show Coors Light in his movie, they'll make sure his wrap party is stocked with Coors light. Not much more than that. We're not talking about a huge picture now, and the PP guys have it down to a science. Tucker is not a Weinstein, he offers them nothing other than a one picture deal.
The same can be said for his distribution deals that will supposedly be paid upfront. What he's offering theaters is a much larger cut for theaters to show his movie. Problem being, how is the film going to be promoted? Theaters never promote a film other than showing trailers, and that's in-house promotions. He believes theaters are going to prepay for a film that isn't even been made yet? He's kidding himself.
Again, this is part of the cult of personality that surrounds Tucker. He's always thinking he's one ahead of the game whereas he's already being lapped a few times over. He's setting himself up for failure, the problem being, he doesn't have much left. What happens if the film doesn't happen now? What happens if it does happen and it's a failure?
It's a shame, because Tucker is a pretty talented storyteller (note: not writer). Had he concentrated on his work and perhaps was a bit more humble in his approach, he wouldn't have turned into Troy Duffy. Oh, btw Tucker, Duffy had the same exact idea for distribution for Boondock Saints as you're talking about on your site.
Supposedly, the piece is going in this Wednesday. Where have I heard that before?
We start casting tomorrow, and if by tomorrow night its not up on the THR website, I am going to start the production blog anyway. I won't reveal anything that is going in the THR story (who the driector is, who the casting director is, etc), but I need to start writing my thoughts etc. This is driving me crazy.
Gee, where have we heard this before? Of course the THR story won't come out on Wednesday, thus "allowing" Tucker to do exactly what the poster above said: claim that he pulled the article and publish it on his blog. All the usual tropes will be present: the media establishment is "dead" and doesn't realize it, this is just the beginning of the New Media Revolution, etc. etc.
In the end, it will just be yet another example of Tucker moving the goalposts and hoping his 16 year-old fanboys don't notice.
this isn't the first time tucker has said he's going to make history. read 'the mtv story', he tells the producer chick they're going to make tv history....from a mtv dating tv show?? it's pathetic how much he craves attention and wants to be famous. someone needs to contact someone who works for mtv and offer $100 for them to produce the mtv tape. i'd bet tucker looks like an idiot in the video and thats why he's never released it. that radio shit he did with maddox and drex was a big mistake on tucker's part.
Agreed with the above poster, the radio bit stunk. I never imagined that tucker spoke with such an effeminate enunciation (notice how he ends all of his sentences on a higher pitch, as though he's asking a question). Maddox was surprisingly insecure, and drunkrex showed that he is truly a piece of human garbage.
any of the youtube tucker clips show him looking, acting, and talking like a complete spaz. Like a band geek, without the retainer and headgear.
I wonder if Tucker's 'effeminate enunciation' will be replicated in the movie.
i just visisted this site for the first time in a few months. tucker's up to his same old shit i see. very sad. i hope you all realize what tucker thinks his future is: media mogul. cover of time, newsweek, hailed as a visionary, a multimillionaire (maybe billionaire) thanks to the smashing success of his rudius media empire, which has empowered artists with $10 domains, crappy templates and worthless editing, in exchange for a significant cut of all their profits. he's somehow harnessed the potential of the internet by empowering artists via subjugation; unlike a studio, he offers absolutely nothing even remotely unattainable to even the dumbest, brokest nobody, but that's what makes him a visionary.
guy probably thinks he'll be ringing the opening bell on the nyse the day his company goes public.
I liked the piece in the Hollywood Reporter, but I thought it was a little too 'kiss-a$$'. I mean, I know those Hollywood Reporter guys want a piece of Tucker and all (who doesn't?!), but they way they kept on gushing over him and talking about the 'future of Hollywood' and all, it got a little old.
I do love D-bagRex's claim that they were "bumped" because of the death of director Anthony Minhella. There's ALWAYS something getting in the way, isn't there? We've gone way beyond laughable with Tucker and his cohort, now it is just sad and pathetic.
Tucker's film isn't news unless they sign a major A-list actor as the lead. It wasn't news when they signed the director because they didn't sign name talent to direct. His script just isn't strong enough.
Tucker's script would have been better served if somebody else adapted it. You could make it an art film if you followed the REAL story of Tucker Max, which is both ironic and sad at the same time. Here is a guy who had the world at his grasp, but bought into his own bullshit and ended up blowing it for himself while becoming more and more delusional with his own talent. In the end, the guy who seemingly has everything is left with nothing more than his tarnished reputation as an "author". Instead of following the progress of some guy who really deserves it, we follow the downfall of Tucker, who really didn't deserve it.
It's funny that Tucker, the guy who was going to beat the Hollywood system now needs that same system for recognition. This film is going to be a disaster like all of his other endeavors.
I just visited the I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell website. Tucker claimed his casting director is A-List. OBVIOUSLY his casting director isn't A-list. How the FUCK could the casting director be an A-lister if Tucker is asking his idiotic messageboard members, who know nothing about Hollywood, for advice on who to cast? Wouldn't the casting director handle all of that? Besides that, how the FUCK could he ever get an A-Lister in the first place?!
I am starting to think that THR didn't just go back on their promise to cover Tucker. I am starting to think THR never even told Tucker they would cover him in the first place. I mean, why would they? Like everyody else has pointed out, Tucker's movie is NOT news. Furthermore, Tucker has a motive to lie about THR: it lets him continue to spin his deceptions about the future of his movie. If can say, "I can't get into the specifics because I gave the scoop to THR," then he can say, "Our casting director is A-List", "Our director is a genius," "The script is hilarious," etc., etc., and there is no clear and damning evidence to refute the bullshit.
Tucker was slated as front page news for tomorrow's The Hollywood Reporter, but Arthur C. Clarke died. Crying shame too, as 2001 was just some sci fi movie released back in 1968. That is yet another example on how the media establishment just doesn't get it.
For some great unintentional comedy, I highly recommend reading the casting suggestion threads. The delusion that Tucker and D-bag have about the level of talent they hope to get is truly awe-inspiring. Two twelve year-olds sitting in their basement picking actors who are "totally awesome" would actually be a more rational and realistic approach to casting. Oh and Tucker, offering back-end points to the actors and actresses in lieu of up-front pay is not going to work when NO ONE sees this movie of having any chance of being made or making money.
This cast will truly be a Who's Who? of Hollwood. As in, when you see the names of the cast you'll say "Who the FUCK is that??"
When Tucker posted the story about the incident in the Borders store in which he accosted a clerk for not having his shitty book in the "#17" slot, he stated he was "flying back to L.A." According to his schedule, he had been in Houston doing something with Paul Wall.
Well, I was in the Houston airport (IAH) today. There is one Borders in Terminal E. I went into the Borders, and the books ARE NOT LISTED ACCORDING TO THEIR RANK IN THE NYT BEST SELLER LIST. There is a rack with "Bestselling Paperbacks," and his book was on the lowest shelf, but there were *no* numbers whatsoever.
A clerk confirmed that "this is how we always do it" at the store.
So he completely made up the story posted on his messageboard.
Another lie exposed.
I've stayed on the sidelines to this point, but the simple absurdity of TM's latest post just begs mockery. This is in response to a fanboy rightfully questioning whether TM could get Keira Knightly to play one of the two main female characters in his "film":
TM: In short, yes. We have the money or can get the money to attach any female actress in the appropriate age range.
Have & "can get" are two very, very different things. Of course TM is lying thru his teeth as he quickly tries to justify the ridiculousness of the statement:
TM: If they like the script and want to do the movie and we like them to play the part, we can get them.
The enormity of that IF cannot be measured nor explained to anyone who doesn't work or understand Hollywood....which Tucker obviously doesn't.
TM: The long answer would require a class in indy film finance, but here is the executive summary:
-Most female actresses are cheaper than you'd think
Correct, "most" are. However the ones you are boasting about being able to get for your little film aren't.
TM: -All actors will cut their fee for a script they like enough.
This generalization is laughable. The 10 other intangibles (director, distribution, timeframe, conflicts, image, etc) aren't even mentioned--just a sweeping statement that is rarely realized, especially with a script from a no-name writer w/o any studio yet attached.
TM:-The two female roles can be shot in less than a week (apiece).
True, assuming you know what you are doing, they have no other scheduling conflicts, they obtain releases from their other obligations (studio films), etc., etc.
TM-Back end points can be used in lieu of upfront money.
Ahh, now we are getting to the truth of the matter. TM can't afford the top talent, so he is going to give them points. However, once again, no name talent attached, no name director attached (if there were, THR or Variety would have actually been all over it by now), unknown writer, and reportedly crappy script. Yes, why wouldn't Keira work for scale, associate herself with a bunch of never-will-be D list hangers-on, and potentially ruin her image?
TM-Attaching a big name can actually get you more money via certain financing avenues.
Once again, here is the hope. Unfortunately it is also the hope of about 10,000 other waiters and wanna-be directors/producers, not to mention the legion of actual directors/producers who have actually produced something in the industry.
TM: This is not a big budget movie, but we aren't doing this on our credit cards.
From what I understand about your credit, I'm suprised you even have a credit card. Flake.
TM: We have a multi-million dollar budget with all big names attached so far.
Of course you do. That is why the trades are beating a path to your door. Hasn't Entertainment Tonight called yet?
TM is full of shit as usual. Listen, I'm sure that he has been able to raise a decent amount of $$ based off his book sales & contacts. Probably quite a bit of friends & family $$ as well, as no industry savvy investor would give him a dime unless he had total control over the entire operation. TM is praying that he can get any sort of B list talent to say yes to even a cameo in his film, as that will allow him to spin "well we have so & so attached to the project" and allow him to raise more $$ & attract other actors. TM isn't doing anything new here, he is just doing the same thing that all wanna-be's do---spin, spin, lie, cajole, spin, and embelish to make themselves & their project seem attractive. However he is a complete unknown in Hollywood, and hasn't proven that he can actually produce anything meaningful, outside of a book that chronicles a dozen semi-amusing, fully embelished tales from 8 years ago.
Not going to cut it.
I can't stop laughing at how ridiculously naive he is:
Whatever--I don't care what the standard practice is, we are going to do things the right way on this movie. That means a laser focus on getting right what goes in front of the screen, treating people with respect (I'll get into that aspect later), and everyone shares in the profit if it does well (this too). Seems simple to me. Not so much to the rest of the entertainment business.
TM: 34 going on 17.
I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point Tucker morphed into Kramer from the Seinfeld episode where Kramer moves to California in hopes of making it big in Hollywood. Only in Tucker's case, he can only dream that he's lucky enough to have the notoriety of being a suspected serial killer.
Now, if Tucker would make a movie about his making the movie, that would be funny as hell. Too bad he's too oblivious to reality to acknowledge it.
I want to know exactly when it was that Tucker went to film school, or at the very least, when he took a class in "indy [sic] film finance."
Given the information that's come to light about Border's in the Houston Airport, I'm gonna go out on a limb and use an old phrase of my father's:
How do you know when Tucker Max is lying?
Simple: his lips are moving.
Tucker has no chance of getting any elite talent onto his film. He's not making an "indie film", he's making a low budget comedy based upon a low-brow book. Best seller or not, the material isn't some thought provoking piece, it's like a sketch comedy bit for the Howard Stern crowd. Does he really think somebody like Ryan Gosling is going to come on board? It's not going to happen, the script is too mainstream for those guys.
What's the basis of the film? He's going to fuck a midget? Yeah, I can see Keira Knightly even reading this script to take SAG minimum plus points where she's getting paid a million dollars for a "pay or play" script reading. He'll be very lucky if he gets them to even have their agents read it. There is no buzz on the script in Hollywood, and Tucker's been blackballed by his old agency (which means ALL their clients won't be reading his script, even if he had 100 million behind it.
Here's a guess. Tucker doesn't have the 6 million raised yet. He probably has about a million and He's trying to get a "name" actor attached to the project to leverage the rest of the movie. Of course, as Tucker keeps saying, he's "got a great script", but then again, Tucker says a lot of things, not many of them end up being true.
I'm always impressed by the way Rudius 'authors' are able to keep their fingers on the pulse of the future. For instance, they trash-canned the Kindle, and now Amazon can't keep them in stock; they shot down hulu.com, which gets more traffic than any Rudius site, and is gaining Alexa ranks everyday.
It's like anytime they encounter something new, they get mad, because nobody's consulting with them on which way the future's going to go, so they bad-mouth it - because, after all, Rudius Media IS the future. They try to start flame-wars with any D-list celebrity who'll blink twice at them, in the hopes of reviving the fame they had from the Miss Vermont and Dimeo cases... it's ALL about Tucker's sense of entitlement in believing he's desitined for greatness, combined with his insatiable need for attention and validation. The others aren't any different.
At that point, something clicked in the director, and he went on this ten minute riff about SlingBlade and all kinds of artisty, film school crap that to be honest, I barely followed. He was talking to himself outloud, not really to us. But the finish was good.
Director "If we get the right actor, the guy who simultaneously exposes his vulnerablity while covering it with his bitterness and intelligent humor...we'll create one of the great characters in American cinema. I'm not kidding."
And this kids is how you spell FAILURE. No way this thing ends as anything other than a colossal train wreck.
The funny TM is back! That "Movie blog" thread hes got going over there is a riot. In just 2 short pages he's drop these 2 gems.
TM:SAID
"Anyway, once THR drops the piece and names the director, I am going to write a long post about how and why we picked this particular director over the others (we picked him over an Oscar winner, among others) that will answer all these questions. I would have written it already, but I don't want to do it until I can talk about him by name and reference his previous work and what not."
Yeah everyone passes over an Oscar winning director willing to do thier first film. I know Oscar winners are beating a path to the door of every no name first timer with 6 big million to blow.
On the first page is this,
TM:SAID..."As I am watching the game on TV, the production lawyer decides to email me and tell me that he can no longer work on the movie (he took a job as in-house council at a big company). OK, not a big deal, except that he was supposed to talk to the casting director's agent today to negotiate the terms of his deal. This is vital because our casting director has been working basically for free for two weeks as a favor to us, but his agent is quickly losing her patience.
OK Tucker is "OK not a big deal" or is it "vital" because your casting director isn't being paid. Probably just like the lawyer wasn't getting paid so he bounced on the whole sinking production ship? He e-mailed!! Didn't even call. That happens to the big names all the time...I guess what do I know.
That whole blog is there to document and serve as a reference for Tucker to come back to when the enivetible happens and his movie never gets made. He will site all these reasons why it failed as it says in his blog. Of course none of it having been his fault.
he took a job as in-house council at a big company
I guess they don't teach Duke law grads that it is spelled "in-house counsel."
If the casting agent isn't getting paid, they have no $$$ in their budget raised. Casting directors are relatively cheap, but they need $$$ to pay for their services. Casting directors have things like assistants to pay, phones to keep on, etc. It's not acheap endeavor, and even the best of them have bills to pay. A film that isn't paying them won't take priority over one that is. He might have just enough money in the bank (like 350K) to show they are for real, but if he thinks his film is getting priority, then he's fucked.
This might be why they're still holding out for this mooted front page coverage in THR. In order to generate funds they need the publicity.
Tucker's fucked now.
Hollywood is a very small town. If his casting agent drops out because of lack of funds, that news is going to travel fast and other casting agents will know he doesn't have the $$$ while he's declaring he does. He won't be able to find somebody to cast his film, or if he does, it will be so low level it won't matter. Tucker needs an A-lister to leverage his film, and there are only a few of those guys around, most of whom won't read a script unless it's pay or play if it's not coming from a known casting agent.
Please. Please tell me all of you recent posters are a new crop. This is the Think About Tucker guy, and well, I left a while back, thinking that most of you had started to recognize this place for the truly unhealthy endeavor that it is. But now, like year later, it is still strangely obsessive, overly researched minutia about an aging losers descent into nothingness, for the sake of Schadenfreude, with overtones of a distinctly homoerotic nature.
What could it all mean?
BTW, did you fruits celebrate an anniversary? two?
To the 3/21/2008 10:38 AM Guy,
Do you think Tucker would actually tell the truth about his endeavors on his heavily moderated blog? Sure it's obsessive to some fault, but at the same time it's fun watching him fail in an almost spectacular level. His level of lying is almost pathological at this point, so it's fairly easy to pick out his lies and show where reality intercedes with his life. A blog like this is needed, although nobody would want to do the upkeep needed to actually make a new one. Who cares, there are 1700+ entries in here over the past year, most of which document how Tucker Max is a douchebag (as well as a liar).
Anyway, glad you figured out that he's a loser as well. Any inside info youhave about TM would be greatly appreciated. Until then, "THink About Tucker".
How and why was Tucker blackballed by his agency?
"How and why was Tucker blackballed by his agency?"
The How and Why are the same. It was his failure to produce at that level coupled by the way he handled himself with the production company who was producing his television show. Tucker started acting like a diva after the production company decided that they wanted one of their own people to write the pilot script.
When it became obvious that Tucker's next book was delayed and that he was going to be a problem child, they dropped him from the agency. The payoff just wasn't worth the problems a guy like Tucker brings to the table. Yes he's funny and all, but funny can only go so far when you're dealing with somebody who is not producing.
Tucker then announced on his board that he "dropped his agent and manager", to which the agency knew to be a lie. When this happened it basically blackballed him from ever working with or using another client from his old agency. Had Tucker kept his mouth shut, the door might still be open, but it's not anymore, that I can tell you from firsthand knowledge of people who work at that agency.
Tucker didn't get what he wanted, was a pain in the ass, ruined whatever chance he had with a TV show because he was an asshole, and didn't produce another book. Why would an agency want to deal with that? They're there to make money, not deal with headaches.
Think about Tucker guy:
Why do you even care who posts here or why they post? Get a life and stop trying to ruin the lives of others.
Why does he care? Maybe because he's Ryan Holiday and he drank the koolaid (human toilet ... mmm piss). Any criticism of Tucker is a criticism of his poor decision.
Don't worry, Ryan. Eventually, you'll realize what a colossal failure Tucker is. Tucker will never realize it.
This is an independent film, not a studio film. I make the decisions. The buck stops with me. Maybe I didn't make that clear, I will write a post about the difference between indy and studio films and why I decided to do my film as an indy film.
Um, maybe because you had no other choice since no studio would work with you? Typical. Tucker tries to spin a course of action he was forced to do into his "choice". Uh Tucker, when you've basically pissed off everyone in Hollywood and no one will work with you, it isn't your decision to go the indie route.
And while I actually find Tucker's reasoning about not spending money frivolously to be a good one (way waste money when you don't have to?), his concern with it does give lie to his claim that there he has "plenty" of money raised and budgeted for the movie. Yes, wasteful spending adds up quickly and can get out of control, but if you're that worried about a few hundred bucks, you're definitely doing this on a shoestring budget. Which further exposes the lie that he has any kind of recognizable name or talent attached to the project.
Tucker's "production" blog actually has the potential to be incredibly informative and could allow him to really develop as a writer. Unfortunately, achieving that would require Tucker to be completely honest about the successes and failures in trying to make a film. That honesty, however, would expose the lies he's been telling people for years and that is why he will ultimately fail: if he starts being honest now, the whole house of cards collapses.
I guess he could always just follow a big name actor around with a camera crew and make him part of the movie w/o said actor even knowing it.
I mean, it worked in Bowfinger, right?
T max, I just solved your problem. Run with it.
Oh and do you remember when I threw your ass out of Durkins? You little sissy.
What's the story of Tucker getting thrown out of Durkins?
I can understand why Tucker is doing his film independantly. It's really the only way his story can be told. I'm sure he's still fuming that his book was going to be made into some generic piece of shit as a Comedy Central TV show.
However, Tucker is an expert at making films like he's a media mogul. I fully expect for Tucker's film to be horrible. He has surrounded himself with nothing but YES MEN a total recipe for disaster, especially for a 1st time filmmaker.
Cockly McBeefwell,
It's the 1 year anniversary of no new posts by you on this blog tommorrow. Thanks for leaving it here for the rest of us.
However, Tucker is an expert at making films like he's a media mogul. I fully expect for Tucker's film to be horrible. He has surrounded himself with nothing but YES MEN a total recipe for disaster, especially for a 1st time filmmaker.
But has he really, or is that what he's attempting to do? Surrounding himself by "yes men" I mean.
And who the fuck takes outsiders to meetings--could he not convey why Slingblade's one of his best friends without the help of Bunny? Is he really that inarticulate?
Do you think Erin "batshit crazy" Tyler or Ryan "college dropout because tucker told me to" Holiday aren't yes men? Everybody who disagrees with him is banned from his message board. Real life friends who could criticize him found better things to do.
He's incapable of working with people who disagree or question him -- that's why he doesn't have a TV show, a manager, the BC Woods incident (has he ever acknowledged it?), etc.
Posted by Tucker Max's longtime friend JoJo:
Put me at the Haterz table then. I'm just saying I need a little more than the unauthorized video biography of Slingblade presented as if Tucker said the funny one-liners before I'm ready to declare a revolution. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy for Max. But one person succeeding in this way and everyone else sticking with the status quo doesn't create the revolution we were promised.
By the way, is it too late to change the official name of this movie to The Unauthorized Video Biography of Slingblade Presented As If Tucker Said The Funny One-Liners, or TUVBOSPAITSTFOL? It's kind of catchy.
Wow.
Alexa rocks.
Tucker's traffic is now lower than it was five years ago.
http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com?site0=tuckermax.com&y=r&z=3&h=300&w=610&u%5B%5D=tuckermax.com&x=2008-03-24T17%3A35%3A45.000Z&check=www.alexa.com&signature=sjrq3Hps2zg0UC3YvkPq8ty6Tfs%3D&range=max&size=Medium
After hundreds of thousands of dollars from viacom and thousands more from Duke university to speak, Tucker's traffic goes down. What is happening is that all the corporate boomers and Duke faculty/legal can no longer impose corporate-law douchebaggery and corporate confomity on us, no matter how much they charge for tuition.
I doubt that ryan holiday's career has much of future with tucker. I wonder, is he going to list tucker on his resume when he someday realizes that one needs a career? Did he really forgo/drop out of college to work with Tucker? Will he go back?
I imagine that the director and actors in tucker's media project/indie film will fair about as well as the rudius bloggers. In other words, they probably won't make more than a few dollars (as chronicled by that blogger who left) on their way down, and just might never work in hollywood again.
Tucker's alexa traffic is fairly close to his first quarter 2004 numbers. After all that self-promotion and ego-stroking... and he's at the same level prior to the publication of AFF.
What if they gave a revolution, and nobody came?
Batshit crazy goes to a casting, and they say TM doesn't surround himself w/yes men:
"I was watching the casting director, and he spent almost no time looking at the actor. He was watching Tucker's face and my face, because he knew we knew the guy in life, and he knew that when our faces lit up, the "feeling out" was going well, and the actor was right for the part. That CD is no joke, man. He knows his shit. I mean, how do you make decisive decisions that directly affect the success of huge, millions-of-dollars, pieces of art by gut instinct? No doubt, the movie will be superbly cast.
Edit: Tucker and Drex--I'm so excited for you guys! You've worked so hard, and its wonderful to see everything coming together for you. I can't wait to see your movie."
Since when did potty humor aimed at 17 y.o.'s become art?
What tucker and bunny symbolize, more than anything, is the end of douchebaggery in our universities and corporations; in hollyood and publishing.
Batshit crazy goes to a casting, and they say TM doesn't surround himself w/yes men
When posed the question regarding Tucker surrounding him with "yes men" I wasn't thinking about Bunny, Drex, etc. I was thinking more along the lines of actual Hollywood people.
Of course Bunny, et al, are his 'yes men.' He can't even convey why Slingblade is such an extraordinary (and loveable) person without Bunny.
Can he wipe his ass on his own, or is that what Ryan is there for?
Seriously. Have y'all been keeping up with Ryan's blog? He's an idiot of epic proportions...no wonder he lives with Tucker.
Found this gem on the 'movie' blog (from DRex):
'"Producer" is one of those job titles, like "Assistant to/for ______ " here in D.C., that rings with importance and magnitude directly proportional to how little normal people understand about it. They are titles cloaked in mystery, held by people who tend to DO less than they can but exercise more authority than they have. Remember Scooter Libby? He was an Assistant to ______. Remember Dustin Hoffman's character in WAG THE DOG? He was a producer. A typical Hollywood, big studio producer.'
He's soooo right. Us "normals" have no idea what a P/producer is/does.
There aren't enough eyerolls for that one.
For anyone with even a vague understanding of how Hollywood works, the IHTSBIH movie production blog is seriously the gift that keeps on giving.
Between the absolute inanity of Drex's "I'm a Producer" post, and TM's "Its about to blow up!" assertions, their blog is keeping quite a few of us in stitches.
I can't wait to find out who the director actually is, and whether their budget has one comma or none in the #. Almost 30 days since TM announced the impending announcement by the trades on his blog. Is this the revolution that TM is bragging about--that carrier pigeons could have delivered the news quicker than the net? Obviously the director is an A lister---it must be out of respect that Extra! & Access Hollywood or keeping wraps on the story.
who is this guy and why is he so famous for writing crappy stories to the point he is actually getting a movie made?? This is almost as bad as chris crocker getting his own tv show. For what? Who cares about people with no talent. I dont get it
No, no.
Crying Chrissy Crocker is funny.
That's the difference.
Today's Tuckerism:
There are times when celebration is appropriate. Immediately after the first few steps is not one of those times. I'll pop the champagne when the box office numbers start coming in on the opening Friday, and we are projecting at a 25 million dollar opening weekend.
Anyone else notice that TM is ignoring JoJo's taunts. He really has a problem answering uncomfortable questions.
A $25 million opening weekend for an indie?!?
"A $25 million opening weekend for an indie?!?
3/25/2008 11:01 AM"
Obviously you haven't been reading Tucker's posts/blog. It's spelled "indy." Every Hollywood insider knows that.
How did Tucker come to this 25 million dollar opening weekend? What sort of formula did he use? Did Tobey McGuire or Leonardo DiCaprio say yes to doing the movie? Even then, 25 million?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Does he realize how full of shit he sounds? Oh no, wait, he doesn't because he's surrounded himself with "yes men". His investors and business partners deserve exactly what I'm going to get.
Holy fucking shit, this is the gift that doesn't go away.
There is no greater entertainment than douchebag media.
Imagine a daily online video--a live feed from Tucker's low-rent house where ryan holliday lectures about success.
The douchebags are leaving millions on the table.
Nothing would be funnier than seeing Ryan Holiday on "The Apprentice."
The funny thing about this whole scenario is that while Tucker claims to be groundbreaking with his production blog, publicity, etc, his subject matter is pretty mundane. Wow- a college road trip movie...HOW FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY. Off the top of my head: Road Trip, Eurotrip, Harold and Kumar have already done it (I am sure there are countless more examples).
Even more hilarious is his production blog where he says there has never been a character like Sling Blade before. Let's see- a scared inner soul that hides it with a gruff exterior- yeah, truly original.
Does he really say there's never been a character like SlingBlade? So, why is he named "SlingBlade"?
I wonder if the driector reads this blog every day, like Tucker does.
"OK, I know that this is a very self-selecting audience, but in many ways this idea is geared exactly towards you:
Let's say that in the five days (Sun-Thurs) leading up to the nationwide opening weekend of IHTSBIH, we did a special premiere each night in a selected city, followed by a question and answer session with the writers (me and Nils), the director, and some of the producers/actors. For example (and these cities are just examples):
Sunday: Phoenix
Monday: Austin
Tuesday: Atlanta
Wednesday: Chicago
Thursday: New York City
FOCUS: How much would you pay for a ticket to one of these premieres?
[Remember that the nationwide premiere would be on Friday, so you would only be seeing the movie a few days early, and of course you'd get to see and participate in the question and answer session.]"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is the best yet! He's got idiots responding that they'll pay $40 for this. I guess this is THE REVOLUTION
Tucker's 25 million dollar figure is based on his belief that General Ryan Holiday's armies will have conquered North America before the opening weekend and everyone will be forced to see the movie at spear point.
i bet the production lawyer dropped out because he found the websites and figured out how delusional tucker is. $25 mil opening weekend?? they better have hired will smith to play tucker max. do indy films even get to release trailers in theaters like "normal" movies? there's no way he can get an opening even half of that just by word of mouth over the internet. what a joke!
What's most hysterical about Tucker's 'tour list' is that he put Austin on it in lieu of Ft. Lauderdale/Miami.
I currently live in Austin, but grew up in Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. The latter have prestigious film festivals; the former only recently started showing films at SXSW.
My point? Oh yeah...
we're (Austin) neither a highly populated city nor are we a hotbed for the movie industry (sure films have been made here; however, we're the live MUSIC capitol of the world).
Other than the occasional snarky comment made by morning DJs, Tucker's an unknown entity around these parts.
I think y'all can figure out why he's not exactly welcome in Ft. Lauderdale/Miami, lol.
From Beerinhell.com:
This semester, they brought four other speakers to campus. Spike Lee, Greg Behrendt, Frank Warren and me. I outdrew all of them...COMBINED.
Those three drew 350, 300 and 400, respectively.
From NEU's student newspaper:
Academy Award winner Spike Lee, known for his involvement in films dealing with controversial social, racial and political issues, gave a motivational lecture to a crowd of about 500 in Blackman Auditorium Friday night.
Oops.
I remember a human interest, news story about a Tucker Max book signing. In a nutshell, Tucker sat there ignored, as it was outside of more friendly venues (fraternity parties). That was the height of his popularity.
Fast forward. Tucker is obviously yesterday's news, and yet he is banking on filling theaters? Forget the $25 million opening week; I'll bet anyone here that he won't even fill one theater in Phoenix, Austin, Atlanta, NYC or Chitown... unless they gave the tickets away for free.
He is a total unknown, unworthy of generating even contemptuous curiosity like Kevin Federline. Even KFed managed to generate a few hundred for his concerts, though the promoters had to give away the tickets for free.
I'm telling you guys, if he makes this movie and it does well, you're all going to be eating your words. What y'all need to take solace in is that, although he may find some success, he's still an opportunistic hack whose success comes off of unimportant, derivative 'pop-culture'-driven accomplishments... hardly the stuff of legend.
Today's Tuckerism, also known as the Lie of the Day:
My book is in it's 50th week on the NY Times Best Seller List, and I still can't help but feel a bit disappointed. Why? It's never hit #1. Shit, I don't even think it's broken the top 10.
Umm, according to the NY Times his book has been on the list for 24 weeks, not 50. But then again Tucker is so insecure that he is counting the weeks that it was listed in the Paperback Non Fiction (also known in the publishing industry as the Morgue, because that is where books hang out before they are buried) as "Also Selling".
I'm telling you guys, if he makes this movie and it does well, you're all going to be eating your words. What y'all need to take solace in is that, although he may find some success, he's still an opportunistic hack whose success comes off of unimportant, derivative 'pop-culture'-driven accomplishments... hardly the stuff of legend.
It doesn't work that way.
Tucker did have a chance, but he didn't strike while the iron was hot. That's the only way to harvest within pop culture, as audiences mature (leave the target demographic) or find other vehicles that spark their imagination. The curiosity has since faded; you can find funnier stuff in National Lampoon reprints.
Tucker, in the words of Fight Club, is not a unique special flower:
"It does not take a tremendous amount of book sales to make a bestseller list. Depending upon the competition and category, sales of 50,000 books through bookstores over a period of weeks could do it. Some books have made #10 with sales of just 3,000 in one week. Most print runs are just 5,000 books, so 3,000 is a lot of books. On the other hand, with 119,000 titles being published each year, there is some competition for attention. In 1995, there were 93 hardcover fiction titles that sold more than 100,000 copies and 101 hardcover nonfiction title over that number. Softcover books did even better. Most first printings are 5,000 copies, and any book selling 5,000 copies a year is considered successful....A properly promoted book can be used to achieve celebrity status. Since the book is the cornerstone upon which you will build, it must look like a book; it must be in hardcover.
Even better:
"Foreign pre-sales is going to be one of the main ways we finance the film."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"Wanna go see a movie?"
"Yeah, okay. What's out?"
"I really want to see that Beer in Hell movie."
"Oh, god, a roadtrip movie? I'm not paying 10 bucks to see a fucking road trip movie."
"You don't understand, though. It's not just a road trip movie. You really have to see the business model! It's revolutionary!"
"No shit? Sweet! Let's go!"
"Foreign pre-sales is going to be one of the main ways we finance the film."
Tucker's book has sold less than 500 books outside of North America. Unless he gets a HUGE star, there is no way to presell foreign markets. Foreign distributors don't even care what the movie is about, but they do care about who is attached, which means Tucker has to get an A-lister to even think about getting production funds. Even then, they won't buy something from a first time filmmaker with no record of success until the film is finished.
It seems to me, that Tucker is lookijng to raise the budget of his movies with a lot of "best case scenerios". Like him predicting that the film will make 25 million opening weekend because he believes all his readers will come to see his movie. He believes that no matter who's involved, he will presell European markets before the film is made with no star attached. He believes that his business model hasn't been done before (psst Tucker, check out Greenstreet Films, the old Miramax/Dimension, Good Machine and a number of indy film companies from the 90's. They all did what you are trying to do.)
He's delusional to the point that he's become unintentionally self-satire. It's like a weird Christopher Guest film is unravelling in front of the world, with Tucker pulling the strings and not realizing that nobody is laughing at the puppet anymore, but the puppeteer.
Is he going to revolutionize distribution, too?
I mean, unknown quantity -- sorry, known quantity: asshole -- the distributor will need a huge cut. Maybe he'll rent a van and take a VHS copy around to frat houses across the country.
But I'm putting the horse in front of the cart. We should have a betting pool on what excuse he'll use when the film doesn't get made.
I bet the director (still unnamed, of course) dies and out of respect for him, the film is put on hold.
This came into my email. I work in Hollywood, this is from a VP of Marketing at Sony:
From:************@spe.sony.com
To: *********@gmail.com
Date: March 26th, 2008
Re: Re: Check this guy out!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++
++++Check out this guy's blog. It's the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've ever read:
+++http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/
+++This can't be for real, or this is the most clueless douchebag on the planet.
He is definitely worth a giggle a day. Hey Tucker, what happened here:
Official movie announcement coming soon - February 28, 2008
We have a director picked and money raised and we are ready to tell the world this movie is going. The announcement will come tomorrow, or may wait until the trades publish the piece about it. Within the week at least.
I can't wait to see how TM is going to get $25m his first weekend when he isn't planning on spending any $$:
Idiot 18 y.o. fanboy: The question is will your marketing strategy translate to other types of films, or is it specific to "Tucker Max" brand films?
Douchebag: Ask yourself this question: How could I possibly answer this, aside from just speculation? We haven't even tested my marketing model on MY MOVIE yet, how do I know whether it can work on another movie?
But I can promise you, we won't be spending $8-12 per person. No way in hell. Not even close to that. Hopefully not even $1 per person.
Watching this farce is similar to watching a monkey fuck a football.
[On a side note, kinda unrelated to this movie--they said I not only drew the most people of any speaker, but I was the nicest person to deal with. Apparently each of those guys were super prima donnas and assholes to the staff at Northeastern. That just makes no fucking sense to me. Why would you be a dick to people who support you? Stupid.]
HAHAHAH has he ever read his messageboard?
Oh, and what's really hilarious is all those book tour pictures where he's standing next to some chump, orca, mook, etc and you know that if this is one his stories, he would be insulting her until she cried (then go fuck a hot chick in the bathroom) , but this is real life and he'll probably ask her for a blowjob and get turned down because she's not fat/desperate enough.
Why does Tucker's traffic keep on going down, down, down?
http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com?site0=tuckermax.com&y=r&z=3&h=300&w=610&u%5B%5D=tuckermax.com&x=2008-03-26T22%3A43%3A49.000Z&check=www.alexa.com&signature=iYHd3hLyCvVNsILi%2Bhe8%2FYOyycc%3D&range=3y&size=Medium
Were there really that many people watching his talk?
Who is the a-list director?
Wasn't he suposed to announce that last month?
Wasn't HR and Variety supposed to report on it?
Why aren't they?
Why won't Tucker tell us? Doesn't he have a blog and a website?
He says they have some famous actors.
Who?
Why does he pretend to be considering/castig Kiera Knightly?
Doesn't he know that Hollywood doesn't want anything to do with Duke douchebaggery/hype/deceit?
I think it's time for douchebag media to move along.
Tucker Max is a lot like Hillary! Clinton. They're both washed up has beens/never will bes, clinging to some shred of hope, and living in denial.
Hillary (and Tucker): If you were going to make it, you would have made it already. You didn't, and you won't. I know you have your sycophants that want to believe (and we're all enjoying the joke), but at some point, you'll have to take a look at reality and admit that you failed.
You failed. Now go eat a bag of Doritos or scream at Bill/The Bunny and then fuck off.
Can Tucker do 25 million the first weekend? No fucking way. Below is a link to all movies that grossed about that. They all have either.
A. A huge star, Theres quite a few Tom Hanks, Madonna,Tom Cruise, Jim Carrey type names.
B. A huge following. Mortal Combat, Adams Family, Fast and Furious:Tokyo drift. Star Trek: Generations.
This week grossing 20 mil is "Tyler Perry meets the Browns." Which is a Comedy and made by Lions Gate films. I find it intresting the another movie called "College Road Trip" is in the mix of top films this week.
Link
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/alltime/weekends/?pagenum=m2025&p=.htm
The funny thing about this whole scenario is that while Tucker claims to be groundbreaking with his production blog, publicity, etc, his subject matter is pretty mundane. Wow- a college road trip movie...HOW FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY.
THE BEST OF THIS GENRE WAS FANDANGO, ONE OF THE ORIGINALS!!
Even more hilarious is his production blog where he says there has never been a character like Sling Blade before. Let's see- a scared inner soul that hides it with a gruff exterior- yeah, truly original.
LOL, MY FAVORITE THOUGH IS THE HARDASS COP WHO PLAYS BY HIS OWN SET OF RULES, BUT SUDDENLY IS PAIRED WITH A WACKY NEW PARTNER!!
Idiot 18 y.o. fanboy: The question is will your marketing strategy translate to other types of films, or is it specific to "Tucker Max" brand films?
Douchebag: Ask yourself this question: How could I possibly answer this, aside from just speculation? We haven't even tested my marketing model on MY MOVIE yet, how do I know whether it can work on another movie?
But I can promise you, we won't be spending $8-12 per person. No way in hell. Not even close to that. Hopefully not even $1 per person.
And yet raising money wasn't a problem according to Tucker, in that he has millions lined up.
This exposes Tucker's bullshit. He is trying to promise everyone equity, because he doesn't have cash. Hell, he didn't even have the small amount of money necessary to retain a casting director. The problem is that people won't work that way for someone so minor. In other words, 2% of zero is still zero.
In Tucker's warped world, he's solved the problem: Tell everyone that he'll open with a $25 million weekend! That way your sweat equity is worth a mint! He is banking on everyone around him being stupid, like the ever-present fat girl standing around taking insults in a Tucker Max short story.
I wonder if Tucker is promising points off the net profit or the gross. If it's net, I recommend anyone working with him read Mario Puzo's "Fools Die" for a quick lesson on how they're going to get screwed.
What a raging fucktard:
No distribution deal yet, but with my script that will be easy. I have already turned down big number offers both to option the book and to buy the screenplay from major studios, plus I have already had major foreign pre-sale brokers make me offers as well. Some other things too I won't say, but you can probably guess at if you know the business. We are in a good position.
There are numerous ways we can go in terms of distribution, but we've held off on getting a slot for a very specific reason. I don't want to disclose it, but if we pull what we are going to try...its going to be awesome. The audiences won't know the difference--it'll be a normal looking movie in all the normal theaters. But we'll end up in a much better position.
This reminds me of a 4 y.o. playing in their sandbox, pretending that they are GI Joe. There are about 20 things wrong with the above statements. Here is more along the lines of what is really going on:
No distribution deal yet, but with my script that will be easy. (of course it will...every waiter & busboy in Hollywood has the same delusions. That is why every studio is lining up to buy the script. Oh, I forgot, your agent dropped you. Nobody has seen the script) I have already turned down big number offers both to option the book and to buy the screenplay from major studios (sure you have Tucker.....just keep telling the teenagers that & I'm sure you'll sleep better), plus I have already had major foreign pre-sale brokers make me offers as well (complete bullshit. Brokers are just that--brokers. You have no talent attached. Your film isn't even made yet. You have no $$ to make the film. And you are relying on foreign pre-sales to fund it? What planet are you on? Did you goto Cannes, or even AFM to shop your script? No? Big suprise. Here is another news bulletin---foreign buyers usually don't go big for American comedies. Violence? Drama? Sure. Comedy...good luck. This line of BS, more than anything else, has most of Hollywood laughing at him right now) Some other things too I won't say, but you can probably guess at if you know the business. (what, that everyone thinks you are the biggest joke to come down the street in quite some time?) We are in a good position. (just keep telling yourself that. keep propping up that massive insecurity by pandering to teenage computer geeks.)
There are numerous ways we can go in terms of distribution, but we've held off on getting a slot for a very specific reason. I don't want to disclose it, but if we pull what we are going to try...its going to be awesome. The audiences won't know the difference--it'll be a normal looking movie in all the normal theaters. But we'll end up in a much better position.
How much do you want to bet that Tucker is going to get a large chunk of that 6 million dollars as his fee for the script and as a producer?
The funny thing about Tucker's "Ask a Producer..." thread is that he never ever answers any questions. Has anybody else noticed this? A lot of Tucker's answers range from:"well, I really can't say just yet" to just not answering the question at all.
What a raging fucktard:
No distribution deal yet, but with my script that will be easy. I have already turned down big number offers both to option the book and to buy the screenplay from major studios, plus I have already had major foreign pre-sale brokers make me offers as well. Some other things too I won't say, but you can probably guess at if you know the business. We are in a good position.
There are numerous ways we can go in terms of distribution, but we've held off on getting a slot for a very specific reason. I don't want to disclose it, but if we pull what we are going to try...its going to be awesome. The audiences won't know the difference--it'll be a normal looking movie in all the normal theaters. But we'll end up in a much better position.
This reminds me of a 4 y.o. playing in their sandbox, pretending that they are GI Joe. There are about 20 things wrong with the above statements. Here is more along the lines of what is really going on:
No distribution deal yet, but with my script that will be easy. (of course it will...every waiter & busboy in Hollywood has the same delusions. That is why every studio is lining up to buy the script. Oh, I forgot, your agent dropped you. Nobody has seen the script) I have already turned down big number offers both to option the book and to buy the screenplay from major studios (sure you have Tucker.....just keep telling the teenagers that & I'm sure you'll sleep better), plus I have already had major foreign pre-sale brokers make me offers as well (complete bullshit. Brokers are just that--brokers. You have no talent attached. Your film isn't even made yet. You have no $$ to make the film. And you are relying on foreign pre-sales to fund it? What planet are you on? Did you goto Cannes, or even AFM to shop your script? No? Big suprise. Here is another news bulletin---foreign buyers usually don't go big for American comedies. Violence? Drama? Sure. Comedy...good luck. This line of BS, more than anything else, has most of Hollywood laughing at him right now) Some other things too I won't say, but you can probably guess at if you know the business. (what, that everyone thinks you are the biggest joke to come down the street in quite some time?) We are in a good position. (just keep telling yourself that. keep propping up that massive insecurity by pandering to teenage computer geeks.)
There are numerous ways we can go in terms of distribution, but we've held off on getting a slot for a very specific reason (umm, you don't have a movie, you don't have any A-list talent, and outside of your sycophant circle you are an unknown?). I don't want to disclose it (because it would be embarrassing), but if we pull what we are going to try...its going to be awesome (of course it is, just like everything else you've tried & failed at....your TV show was going to be awesome as well. How did that work out?). The audiences won't know the difference--it'll be a normal looking movie in all the normal theaters. But we'll end up in a much better position.
Smoke & mirrors. Unfortunately Kentucky-boy doesn't realize he is playing in the big leagues & he can't have it his own way.
Can somebody who still is member over there (I was banned long ago) please just ask Tucker to answer this simple question. "Tucker what's going on with the THR article? First you were waiting for page one. Then the story was done and ready and just waiting for placement. Then it got bumped because of the 2001 guy That was a week or 2 weeks ago. Why is it still not published? Is this part of your plan? To put out false information to create a buzz or were you just lying those other times?"
"So we made fun of the dude with the $400 mattress price--and I just bought a sweet super firm California king for $350. Brand new. So I guess we're the assholes. That plus about $150 for sheets and a blanket, she is out $500. Pretty cheap considering I could have easily spent a grand on the same mattress."
Guess Tucker found some financing! Only $5,999,500 to go!
it still kills me that tucker brags about some 19 year old coed emailing him to fuck based on his crappy website, and the virginal teenagers on his board lap that horseshit up. oh to be young and sheltered; these clueless fucks wouldn't know a psycho, childhood sexual abuse case if it raped them in the ass.
Look on the same thread about the piss-in-the-bed story and you'll see Tucker boast that he banged a girl "born in the 1990s" and then had to pay for her to get an abortion.
What a sick fuck. She was probably 17.
And everyone knows what really happened - Holiday lost control as Bunny's strap-on kept pounding against his urinary bladder.
Has Ryan Holiday announced which candidate he is supporting? That will definitely be the next President of the USA.
I predict that he supports Obama and that he'll have a high-level cabinet position in the Obama 09 white, er, can I say White House?
RyanHoliday posted:
Big week for Rudius Media on Fail Dogs. Two placements on the front page, back to back.
So a big week for Rudius Media is one in which Tucker and Ryan get photos up on FAIL DOGS.
According to the movie blog, Tucker turned down a seven figure offer to sell his script...hmm, so that's at least a million dollars.
So he turned down a million dollars so he can live in his low-rise barrio shit neighborhood with three roommates? Something doesn't smell right here.
Does Tucker understand what fucking is?
Latest example:
Another girl pisses his bed.
I figure I'll fuck her in the morning when she is coherent again. [girl pisses bed, he kicks her out].
...
This is the third USC girl I've fucked since I moved to LA and every single one has been a disaster. DISASTER.
Now, I'm not into water sports, different strokes for different folks. But fucking means penis/vagina or penis/ass interaction. Pissing in your bed is not fucking.
Why do so many girls deny having sex with him?
- Embarrassment
- Passed out/don't remember
- TUCKER IS LYING
Tucker turned down a seven figure offer to sell his script...hmm, so that's at least a million dollars.
No, he said:
If I did a studio film, I could sell my script and the attached elements right now to a studio for probably a low seven figure sum, and get some decent backend participation.
Meaning no one wants his film.
He also admits he continues to spell 'indie' incorrectly, but blames it on just having watched the trailer for Crystal Skull.
He's such a stupid fucktard.
I wonder if Tucker is going to give "Tucker Max Is A Douchebag" an exclusive on who is directing his film?
That's about the only people who care.
"Look, there isn't much more this article is going to tell you. You'll know who the producers and director are, who the casting director is, and some details like that. And to be honest, I bet a bunch of you won't even recognize the directors name. He is a pretty big name in Hollywood indie circles, but not a name the public generally knows."
Originally Posted by Katerationopia My 'lame' question: No matter the end result of the movie, are you guys enjoying the experience and learning a lot, or if the movie were to bomb (Which it won't, this is just theoretical) would you all walk away saying this wasn't worth it?
"Yes I am learning a lot, and in some ways it is very fun making a movie, but if the movie were to bomb, I won't be able to put a nice spin on it. It would devastate me.
That being said, as long as we execute this, it is going to do very well."
no matter how the movie does, he'll spin it into a "success". and, as others have said, there's a good chance it never even gets made. when you think about all the work involved, and think about the shiftless, spoiled, couldn't-hold-down-a-regular-job-to-save-his-life tucker at the helm, it's tough to imagine anything but a colossal failure.
and i still get a kick out of how he already knows the movie is comic gold despite the fact that a) he's not funny, b) drunkasaurus rex isn't funny and c) they haven't even cast the film yet. and he has the nerve to say other people don't have a clue about how hollywood works.
"Look, there isn't much more this article is going to tell you. You'll know who the producers and director are, who the casting director is, and some details like that. And to be honest, I bet a bunch of you won't even recognize the directors name. He is a pretty big name in Hollywood indie circles, but not a name the public generally knows."
Ah, the backtracking begins again. It's been more than a month since the front page article he promised everyone and NOTHING has come out. Now Tucker is furiously trying to cover his ass. Nice Tucker, you "turned down an Oscar winning" director to choose some guy 99% of the population has never heard of because he has good "indie" cred? Sure you did. Just be honest, this was about the only guy you could actually get to read your script, let alone direct it.
No way in hell this turd of a movie gets any kind of wide release, it will go be in the straight-to-DVD section. Ironically, it could still make a decent chunk of change for Tucker. If the movie became something of a cult hit and sold a lot of copies of its DVD, and if the budget for the movie is kept under control (it has to stay close to the alleged $6M), then its possible that DVD sales could make the movie a decent profit (see e.g., every American Pie direct to DVD movie, they are great examples both for the profit and for the "quality" of content you can expect). The problem for Tucker is that there is probably no way he'll ever see much, if any, of that money. Given that he has put no money of his own into the movie, his investors would only have given over that kind of money with guarantees that their cuts come out first with Tucker only getting what's left over. Of course, Tucker will spin it to say that his was an amazing take and the model for all future Hollywood deals.
First off, hard as it may be for you to believe, I still fly under the radar pretty much everywhere. In Hollywood, not many care about me yet because I haven't done a big project yet.
Actually, I have no problem whatsoever believing that. Tucker, maybe one day you'll realize that you are really just a blip on the pop culture radar and your 15 minutes were up years ago. But I doubt you'll ever be that self-aware.
Originally Posted by ontherun
It has already been bumped several times so I realize there is no definite answer to this, but will the THR story be dropping any time soon or is it realistically a few weeks or more away?
"Do you really need to ask this question? The fucking story will drop when it fucking drops. It makes no difference to the project or to this board, so stop fucking annoying me about it."
you know tucker's getting the run-around from some intern over there, and just isn't clued-in enough to know that he's been put on the backburner.
Tucker just doesn't want to admit that he's a fraud.
ya well what have any of you done lately that compares to tuckers accomplishments??? have any of you sold a screenplay or filmed an indie film?? until you do, get off tuckers nuts!! you are just mad cuz you don't get nearly as much ass as he does.
I used to know a guy in college. Heavy drinker, frat boy. I think he eventually dropped out or was kicked out.
Point is: he talked about all the girls he hooked up with. But his definition of "hooking up" was talking to a girl at a party. And given that he was short and incoherently drunk, it was a short conversation. His sex life consisted of his frat brothers giving him sloppy seconds on skanks they brought home and had second thoughts on.
Point is: Tucker is no more honest about getting laid than he is about the rest of his claims.
"ya well what have any of you done lately that compares to tuckers accomplishments??? have any of you sold a screenplay or filmed an indie film?? until you do, get off tuckers nuts!! you are just mad cuz you don't get nearly as much ass as he does."
Actually, Tucker hasn't sold a screenplay or made an indie film yet either, so maybe Tucker should get off of Tucker's nuts.
I've been skimming through the IHTSBIH script. Best line ever:
We thought he was a power top, or maybe
bi.No straight guy overcompensates as
much as he does. --"Amy" referring to "Tucker"
Post the script.
The script
May one be so bold as to inquire how you came to have possession of this script?
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