Saturday, March 24, 2007

Story About Tucker From Facebook.com

The story below was copied from a Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.

Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand

Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!

Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.

In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.

15,972 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   15801 – 15972 of 15972
Anonymous said...

"My house, get it RIGHT GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING SKULLS!

And God and the Bear...

You better get all that stuff off of there!

I don't know where to go! Go to go to go go!"


Thank you for the new ringtone, anonymous! I knew there was a reason that I still lurk this mostly dead board.

Anonymous said...

i wnat read thread but it say click register i no wnat register not pay fix back maek worky plz FORUM NO WORKY 2 READ

Anonymous said...

tucker max's fanboys are back on wikipedia removing all traces of tucker's full name "tucker tibor max". apparently tucker doesnt want people knowing his middle name is tibor, so he has instructed people to remove it from his wikipedia. lets get on it people! let's show that tibor fuckface

Anonymous said...

His fanboys are deleting reference to "Tibor"? Why? That douchebag has mentioned his middle name numerous times in the past and even posted an image of his driver's license at one time. Someone should post an image of his driver's license somewhere if they can find it.

Anonymous said...

Here is Tugger's driver's license: http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/images/license.jpg

Anonymous said...

tibor hahahahaha TIBOR TIBOR TIBOR

Anonymous said...

THOR! GOD OF THUNDER

Anonymous said...

why is Nils's wiki page deleted? was he too fat to fit on a computer screen?

and why does "tibor" need to be removed from his wiki page, what is wrong with that as a middle name?

Anonymous said...

otto tibor max

Anonymous said...

I went to unitervisy what lerned me the good.

Anonymous said...

Smart whites don't let other whites marry blacks

Anonymous said...

Tucker you fucking failure, do something... Nowadays you're no better than Mini Skirt (aka "Kung Fu") Mike, your faggot friend who lost a fight to Justin Massler.

Anonymous said...

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/the-most-obnoxious-woman-in-the-world/

Just think: in 20 years, this is what Cute Feminist will be reduced to

Anonymous said...

Tucker's kicking ass and taking names in the UK! Word of mouth is totally different in England so the movie should take off any minute now. Here's the opening weekend report:

"The industry view that the Motherhood theatrical failure drew disproportionate media attention may be validated by the opening result this weekend for I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. This laddish comedy likewise opened with one showtime per day at a single London cinema, in advance of an imminent DVD release (on 19 April) – in this instance targeting The Hangover audience. Friday night was a private screening for competition winners only, and the figure we have for the rest of the weekend is £54."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2010/mar/30/uk-box-office-nanny-mcphee

Anonymous said...

the english just don't get quality american humor

stupid redcoats

the french'll like tucker's movie! because it's so sophisticated! and the french like sophisticated highbrow humor! which is what tucker made! because he's such an awesome filmmaker! yeah!

hey, what happened to whatsisface the junior douchebag guy who was retelling the story of the tour in exhaustingly endless detail

Anonymous said...

griffin rights

wriffin gripes

griff in wipes

g... y'know what, nvm

Anonymous said...

Movie made £54 opening weekend in the UK.

http://www.ukfilmcouncil.org.uk/article/16666/UK-Box-Office-26---28-March-2010

Anonymous said...

Ukrainian girls are cute and sexy

Anonymous said...

Ran into Marnie the other day...I'd hit it

Anonymous said...

roissy is a DOUUUUUCHEEEEE

Anonymous said...

Yes, but unlike Tucker, he's good at it.

Anonymous said...

Not to worry, you have very little left to learn about being a douchebag

Anonymous said...

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/04/03/2010-04-03_alleged_ivanka_trump_stalker_justin_massler_also_targeted_i_hope_they_serve_beer.html

"Before Trump, there was Tucker."

Great picture there, Tugger. Your gray hair and bad teeth are so sexy.

Anonymous said...

£54? That's like $50 million in American dollars, right?

Anonymous said...

Someone just posted the video of Tucker Max and Cloud Starchaser arguing outside of the bar from years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1NWe48BqrM

Interesting how in the news report Tucker Max claims Cloud showed up randomly uninvited and was thrown out of the bar but it's clear from the video he knew he was coming since they were arguing about the bet contract and he never even goes in the bar at all.

Tucker Max lies again.

Anonymous said...

Ryan holiday has a new troll on wikipedia named bryanholiday. His wikipedia userpage says bryan holiday's in PR and lives in LA. nice. good work, Bryan. I wonder if ryan holiday still gets paid by american apparel?

Anonymous said...

Nice to see that Tucker called the New York Daily News and fed them that story, only place it could have come from. Guess he'll do anything to try and stay in the limelight, even piggy-backing on D-list celebrity stalking victims. And you can bet it eats Tucker alive that, thanks to the Ivanka stalking, more people know who Justin Massler is than do Tucker.

Anonymous said...

tucker is twittering all about the justin massler/cloud starchaser story. who would have thought tucker would have to be a parasite off a stalker's fame?

Anonymous said...

invaka or whatever her name is is is kinda cute

but in an artificial too much makeup way

not like ukrainiangirls

cloud starchaser shoud've gone east, young man

Anonymous said...

Heidi Montag can't hug people because her boobs might fall off or something.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/05/heidi-montags-plastic-sur_n_525760.html

Ukrainian girls, however, don't have that problem!

Anonymous said...

I think it is great that Sucker Tax needs someone who is mentally unstable to help him in his quest for douchieness. I remember when all of that happened and how he was so "above" ole Cloud. I bet more people have heard of him that Sir Douchelot.

Anonymous said...

http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/2009/BNDS2-DVD.php

Troy Duffy moving toward 1,000,000 units sold.

The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day - DVD Sales
DVD Sales Performance
Released on DVD: March 9, 2010
DVD Units Sold: 839,237
Consumer Spending: $14,994,630
See full information for The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Anonymous said...

Yeah, ironic that Justin Massler is now more newsworthy than Tucker. He began this blog . . . perhaps if you hadn't turned out to be such a failure and goofball, Tucker, Invanka would remain unstalked.

All of Cloud / Justin's blogs and websites seem to have been deleted but they're a fascinating look at worsening mental illness and you can find them cached:

http://web.archive.org/web/20051215073133/http://www.heroicdestinysquad.com/justinmassler/blog/

Anonymous said...

BATMAN!

Hell yeah. Cloud Starchaser: BATMAN! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BAAAATMAAAAAN!!!! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BAAAATMAAAAAN!!!!

OF COURSE he compares himself to - BATMAN! Cause he's CLOUD STARCHASER and that means he's BATMAN!

Best Batman:
http://www.pvponline.com/my-parents-are-dead/

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BAAAATMAAAAAN!!!!

Anonymous said...

CLOUD STARCHASER is NOT A CREEP.

He is a MODERN SUPER-HERO and he RESCUES people by DRINKING BEER and ROCKING OUT.

He also has a better grasp of reality than Exam Truck. I mean Tibor. I mean Otto.

Anonymous said...

I realized the moment I fell into the fissure that the book would not be destroyed as I had planned. It continued falling into that starry expanse, of which I had only a fleeting glimpse. I have tried to speculate where it might have landed; I must admit, however, such conjecture is futile. Still, questions about whose hands might one day hold my Myst book are unsettling to me. I know my apprehensions might never be allayed, and so I close, realizing that, perhaps, the ending has not yet been written.

Anonymous said...

COCK

Anonymous said...

BOOBS

Anonymous said...

COCKBOOBS

Anonymous said...

BOOBCOCK

Anonymous said...

OW MAH BALLS

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max - breaking box office records!

Seriously, a £54 UK opening weekend? Worst. Performance. Ever.

(That's one for the old TMMB crowd).

Anonymous said...

Hey, 54 pounds is really 83 US dollars !

Anonymous said...

I work as an intellectual property attorney. I don't pirate music, software or videos and (usually unsuccessfully) try to persuade friends not to pirate these items.

Last night a friend called and said he was downloading IHTSBIH from a bittorrent site.

First time in my life I ever refrained from saying "don't do that!"

Anonymous said...

I didn't think "Beer in Hell" was available via bit torrent. Not that many would ever download that piece of shit. What a waste of bandwidth.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry this is the stupidest thing i've ever fuckin heard. If your going to criticize him and his BS stories at least do so with something that doesn't look like it was written by a 15 year old girl as angry fan fiction.

Anonymous said...

GUY TWO CUBES OVER: Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

ME (silently, because making an issue of something like this is a good way to get referred to HR for "mediation" and brainwashing): Hey, GUY TWO CUBES OVER, shut up.

Anonymous said...

GUY TWO CUBES OVER: (shuts up)

Anonymous said...

I saw Trixie last night...fucking gross

Anonymous said...

You know what's cool? Jesus. Jesus is totally cool.

Cockly McBeefwell said...

I am not Justin Massler or Cloud Starchaser, or whatever the hell his name is. I always thought that Massler was just joking around when he contacted Tucuke Max a few years ago, but I guess that Massler really is one fucked-up weirdo.

Anonymous said...

Remember how the Tucker Tard Brigade reacted to Massler? They mocked the mentally ill lad mercilessly, and the whole affair culminated with Tucker and Massler making a bet that the last one to get a TV deal would undergo castration. But Tucker later renegaded on this bet.

Anonymous said...

it's spelled reneged

and pronounced "re-negged"

to renege: backing off from an agreement
renegade: rebel

although tucker is such a cool renegade and doesn't afraid of anything

he even renegaded against making a movie that makes money

Anonymous said...

And when black people do it? Is that re-nigged?

Anonymous said...

Hey, did you hear the one about the guy who shot himself because someone called him a racist?

Anonymous said...

He wasn't, but he should have been.

Anonymous said...

when it comes to making good movies, tucker is a renegade.

Anonymous said...

This blog never works

Anonymous said...

This blog? Not work? Whaaaaaat?

This blog works all night and sleeps all day! It likes to press wildflowers! It puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars!

Anonymous said...

^

OH FUCK, EVEN THE CHINESE GUY'S SPAM MESSAGES ARE BREAKING DOWN!

IT'S THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE!

--- EVERYBODY PANIC ---

Anonymous said...

One of the major selling points of that wholly remarkable book, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy, apart form its relative cheapness and the fact that it has the words 'Don't Panic' written in large friendly letters on the cover, is its compendious and occasionally accurate glossary. For instance, the statistics relating to the go-social nature of the Universe are deftly set out between pages five hundred and seventy six thousand three hundred and twenty four, and five hundred and seventy six thousand three hundred and twenty six. The simplistic style is partly explained by the fact that its editors, having to meet a publishing deadline, copied the information off the back of a pack of breakfast cereal, hastily embroidering it with a few footnotes in order to avoid prosecution under the incomprehensibly tortuous Galactic copyright laws. It is interesting to note that a later and wilier editor sent the book backwards in time through a temporal warp and then successfully sued the breakfast cereal company for infringement of the same laws.

Anonymous said...

From what I recall, the 'TV show' deal was that Tibor would have to pay Massler $10 000 if he lost, wheras Massler would have to get a vasectomy so he could never reproduce.

Which was quite comical, if it hadn't basically ruined the board with two lisping queens flapping their handbags at each other for the following month.

Anyway, good to see a bit of life in this place again! And Cockly, what is your story if you're not Cloud Sherminator? A TMMB renegade perhaps? Now that the dust has settled - on Tibor's "career", mostly - are you willing to let the mask slip a little? No details required, just out of interest...

Anonymous said...

KTAT

Anonymous said...

wang patrol

Anonymous said...

We
Are
Nice
Guys

Anonymous said...

Slow

Anonymous said...

I was never under the impression that Cockly was Justin Massler. Massler is pretty transparent whenever he writes in that he has a whiny tone and is blatantly narcissistic (like Tucker). Check out Justin's blog, you can easily see that he made a few supportive entries as an anonymous poster.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone noticed that "Beer in Hell" has fallen off the New York Times supplmental Paperback Nonfiction bestseller list?

"Beer in Hell" hasn't been on the list since 2/28/2010.


The ride is over, Tucker.

Anonymous said...

If Tucker isn't bragging about it, no, nobody's going to notice where it is or isn't.

Anonymous said...

Tibor, lol.

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max, liar and douchebag extraordinaire, is finished.

The remainder of his life will be the continual punchline to an epically funny joke he will never get.

Anonymous said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/books/bestseller/bestpapernonfiction.html?ref=bestseller

Tucker's book is #16 on the supplemental list this week. Don't know what the guy above is looking at.

Anonymous said...

"if tucker isn't bragging about it"

conclusion: 4/12 10:18 was Tucker

NICE GOING URIST

Anonymous said...

Bunny is almost done....with my cock.

Anonymous said...

A piece from the Guardian about an author faking Amazon reviews:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/apr/23/historian-orlando-figes-amazon-reviews-rivals

Best line: "contaminent slime". Hello, Tucker!

Anonymous said...

Has Tucker sold six million dvds yet?

Anonymous said...

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell has sold a total of 16922 copies.

Anonymous said...

Where are those numbers from? Your ass?

Anonymous said...

Cool... if the DVD numbers are real, then Tucker will hit the 10 million DVDs sold mark sometime in the year of 2146.

This proves that "Beer in Hell" (the movie) is also destined to be part of the American Canon.

Anonymous said...

Wow, first post in nearly two weeks. I miss the gold ole days when every day he gave us new material with which to mock him. "sigh".

Anonymous said...

Its so sad to come back after a break and see nothing new. Max! hear me! say something! anything!

Tucker Max said...

I am working on an absolutely mindblowing opportunity right now that came my way when some serious movers and shakers in Hollywood called me up and offered me serious wads of cash just to talk about a business entertainment venture they have in mind using my material.

Now, I didn't say these people are Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg, but I didn't say they aren't, either.

I can't say anything about this in detail, so I'll just say the working title is: "The Tucker Max Story: New Glory". For those of you attending the black-tie dinner being held in my honor at the national opera building in Rome next month, I'll have a few more tidbits then. Maybe.

DO NOT email me about this. More later.

Tucker

Anonymous said...

still fuckedup

Anonymous said...

I'm a HUGE literary star.

~KungFu Mike

Anonymous said...

Movie sales must be near ten million by now?

Anonymous said...

I don't think anyone has pointed out the obvious for a few weeks: Nils is fat & Tucker is a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

TODAY IN THE OBAMANOCOMY!

The Treasury department reports a net deficit for April 2010 of $113 billion. April is the month when people pay their taxes and thus one would expect lots of money coming in. Receipts for April in the last 10 years listed a Treasury surplus in all but two years: those two exceptions were 2004 and, hey presto, 2009.

How does one explain this? Easy! Jobless people don't pay taxes! SIMPLE! FUN! LOGIC FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

boogedy boogedy boogedy BOO

AND A WALLA WALLA BING BONG TOO

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say Thank you Tucker. We're going to miss laughing at your attempts to impress socially dysfuntional Internet dweebs who (like you) needed validation. Thank you for the supplying us with laughter as each transparent lie about your book, movie and life became exposed. Thank you for the Rudius Air, the archery/gun range, and the many other pipe dreams that you were delusional enough to publically announce. Thank you for the Opie & Anthony show appearance which revealed to the world what a clueless and slow-witted dimwit you really are in real life.

I suppose like Tinkerbell you won't disappear if the masses clap loud enough. But they'll no longer pay your bills, Tucker. And within the next two years they'll find a substitute hero as you're now too mired in failure to ever be worshipped again.

Anonymous said...

Bix fwepuggip!

Anonymous said...

I have hair on my lip.

HALP HALP I HAVE HAIR ON MY LIP IM A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MUTANT HAAAAAALLLLLLPPP

Hey, what's this down here?

Anonymous said...

Just keep thinking about Baylor's MBA program.

Anonymous said...

Behold, ye blogges of the TUCKERMAX

Anonymous said...

All quiet on the Tucker front.

Anonymous said...

Tuckernuts, tuckernuts in a dish,
How many pieces do you wish?

Anonymous said...

http://www.asylum.com/2010/04/05/deranged-ivanka-trump-stalker-warns-tucker-max-not-to-cockblock/

This ... this is ... look, just read it:

"What I mean is this: obviously right now she is probably not that into me since she filed these stalking charges and I'm in the dog house with her, but later on I'm going to try to recover and then actually win her over. Plus, if I am a stalker but then later on end up nailing her, that would be a truly Epic Win. I will be the first deranged stalker to later end up banging the exact chick who originally sought to have him put in jail, making me a Legend for Our Times and a Hero to the People."

SUPER EPIC MEGA COCKTACULAR WINSAUCE, yes?

GO GO CLOUD STARCHASER ULTRA SUPER SEDUCER POWERZZZZ!!!

Tell you what, Cloud: if _I_ meet Ivanka, I'll put in a good word for you. Promise.

Although you'd be better off understanding the basics of Game and remaking yourself into a man worthy of the name. And by the time that's happened, you'll want to be banging 22-year-old Ukrainian chicks, because they'll be hot (they always are), and Ivanka will be getting saggy.

Go east, young man!

Anonymous said...

I wish someone would post the video of Kung Fu Mike and Cloud "fighting."

Anonymous said...

horray

Anonymous said...

@12:54

here
http://www.mediafire.com/?3mzdly5yzim

flash video format

feel free to stick it back on youtube or something, that's where I got it originally

Anonymous said...

FW: INFORMATION ABOUT LIGHT BULBS ... THIS IS VERY DISTURBING

Anonymous said...

Whoa! Big monkey! BIG MONKEY!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for uploading the clip of the infamous Cloud Starchaser - KungFu Mike rumble! KungFu Mike had the upper hand at the beginning but the tables turned when Cloud threw KungFu Mike to the ground. It is unfortunate that KungFu Mike's tubby friend intervened when it was obvious that KungFu Mike was losing.

Anonymous said...

one upon a time

Anonymous said...

people used to

Anonymous said...

watch and wait and

Anonymous said...

bludgeon small animals to be the one

Anonymous said...

who could say

Anonymous said...

who left the very

Anonymous said...

important message that reads......

Anonymous said...

this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.

Anonymous said...

do NOT email me about this people.

Anonymous said...

That was some pretty hefty FAIL right there.

It must have been Tucker...

Anonymous said...

is bunnyblog still babbling about her slutwhore ways? what about riffin' gripes? can't check from work, and work is the only time i am bored enough to remember this stuff

Anonymous said...

^^^ You haven't heard? The Bunny FINALLY got her book published, and it's a huge hit. Critics are talking it up like nothing since Jonathan Foer. I THINK it hit #1 on this week's NYT list, but you'll have to check to confirm- I'm not totally sure. KungFu Mike's book is due out in a couple of weeks, I think, and people are really starting to talk that one up. Griffin JUST signed a multi-book deal with Simon & Schuster, based off the success and buzz of his website.

Anonymous said...

Tucker you fucking loser, do something... anything. There has to be something you can fuck up, or some story you can fabricate. At this rate you're going to become some smelly redneck with a beer gut in Austin.

Anonymous said...

massler is awesome

Anonymous said...

http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/

images/

mugshot_height_assistance.jpg

Is he really?

Anonymous said...

If you're from Oklahoma, you shouldn't be upset like that.

I was born in Fort Worth, so I'm a neighbor of yours, or at one time I was.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL POSTING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

YES YES I CHING-CHONG-CHINAMAN I POST HERE YES

Anonymous said...

Don't be dissin' Chinese Spam Guy: without him this place would be like a ghost town, or the RMMB.

Oh wait, same thing.

Anonymous said...

Yay. You guys are still here! I haven't been here since the big premiere. I miss making fun of Tucker. I literally have no one to talk to on the internet now that I don't spend time mocking him...

So sad.

Anonymous said...

Tucker keeps spoofing the IMBD rating of his movie. I just hope he keeps giving it "10s" until it beats out The Godfather.

Anonymous said...

It takes real dedication to be a Tucker Max.

Anonymous said...

Tucker updated his website quite a bit & talks about the next book of bullshit.

Anonymous said...

My life is ruined. We don't make fun of Tucker anymore like we used to. This was the only thing to keep me feeling better about my miserable own life.

It was nice knowing you guys.

*Grabs shotgun*

Anonymous said...

Mr. Beeflewell:

I representing attorney firm ELMER CRUMP & SONS, engaged my Mr. TUCKER MAX, am writing to you regarding your false and libelous defamation of my client on the 19th of last October where you engaged in aforesaid alleged repeated libel of my client while typing in Chinese. Rest assured that hiding your malfeasance behind another language will not protect you any more than the laws and we will pursue you to the fullest extent of legal prejudice. We are willing to settle this out of court for $5000 cash.

On a personal matter, I feel I must trust you, as my resarch into this matter indicates you are a good and trustworthy person, I write this message only because I am required to do so for my employment job, but I know you to be a good man. As my late father was the King of Nigeria having made his fortune industrializing old secret recipes for great Nigerian manhood, I could be very rich save that all my father's estate is tied up in a bank subject to control by an English attorney. I happen to know this attorney died in Ivory Coast while engaging in perversions with a three-legged donkey, which means they will wait three more weeks without reply before simply seizing my assets. You could communicate with the bank using details I provide and supplying your own financial information in place of the attorney's so as to impersonate the donkey perverter and and obtain access to the the treasures of natural Nigerian herbal manhood incrementers. I will gladly split all subsequent income from this with you 50/50.

I anticipate your earliest reply to my communication.

Yrs respectfully,
Mr. ROOSTER COCKMAN
Lagos
Nigeria

Anonymous said...

@3:07

you mean this?
http://tinyurl.com/23n6hxh

hey look, it's nils
http://tinyurl.com/29qk7x4
http://tinyurl.com/28nmsxh
http://tinyurl.com/25m3rer

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if Nils has lost weight? Only I haven't read any updates on his girth of late, and would appreciate some clarification on the matter.

Anonymous said...

^^^
The last three posts are Nils' take-out orders from P.F. Chang's.

Anonymous said...

In response to previous poster 3 back or so - I have heard, and this is only rumour mind, that Nils is in fact, not thin. Some have gone so far as to postulate that he may in fact be of the wider girth. Not to put too finer point on it, Nils is fat.
Hope this assists.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, dude! That explains it.

Anonymous said...

i don't know if anyone else has noticed (seriously, I doubt many people have), but tugger took down his ihtsbih web page(s) and it's redirecting to his blog. Which had a makeover with all his previous shit deleted.

FAIL DAWG!

Anonymous said...

that ian geek is a wimp

Anonymous said...

Tuckers new look web site is the beginning of a new revolution in web sites. Do not email him about this people!. More to come.

Anonymous said...

Keep thinking about Tucker.

Anonymous said...

Once in a while, a movie comes along that isn't really very good, or well made, or had a lot of money put into it, or exhibited any competence whatsoever, but the people making it where honest and real and gave it a good try, and if you bear with it you'll laugh and enjoy the ride, and in the end you'll think: "Wow, this really was better than "The Hangover"."

Anonymous said...

yyyy

Anonymous said...

Once in a while, a movie comes along that isn't really very good, or well made, or had a lot of money put into it, or exhibited any competence whatsoever, but the people making it where honest and real and gave it a good try, and if you bear with it you'll laugh and enjoy the ride, and in the end you'll think: "Wow, this really was better than 'The Hangover'." 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell' is NOT that movie.

Anonymous said...

Keep thinking about Tucker.

6/22/2010 6:34 AM

TATGuy, don't ever change.

Anonymous said...

Good to see this site is still a first page result for a tucker max google.

tugger, you still fucking suck donkey dick.

Anonymous said...

@6/28 4:40 Good to see you're still full of crap and spouting wishful thinking as though just repeating it makes it true.

... wait. Tucker, is that you?!

Anonymous said...

still going

Anonymous said...

AND GOING

Anonymous said...

Just stopped by to say I fucked Bunny an hour ago. Just sent her on her way. Bitch knows how to fuck but the cutting scars are a turn off.

Anonymous said...

KTAT

Anonymous said...

WWTD

Anonymous said...

TITSSSSSS

Anonymous said...

TMIADWLF

Anonymous said...

@7/08
Tucker Max Is A Dead White Loser Fucker?

Book Guy said...

Tucker took down his entire revolutionary film blog at the request of the people publishing his book. Apparently the title "Assholes Finish First" doesn't seem plausible when you take into account the film didn't even finish in the top 20 it's opening weekend.

On top of that, his new book is a mess. From what I've heard the publisher rejected about half of his new transcript of AFF and asked for an almost complete rewrite on the rejected parts of his new novel. Their reason is simple, it's basically a collection of bad "B-Sides" from IHTSBIH and are utterly redundant and uninteresting. In short, he's beating a dead horse with some pretty lame stories in AFF.

Anonymous said...

He has it listed as coming out on Sept 28. I wonder if even he believes that.

Anonymous said...

"What doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"- Micah 6:8 (Carved in stone at the entrance to Baylor Law School)

Anonymous said...

^^^i'm not a jew, but that quote rules.

The Book Guy said...

The book IS coming out. It's just that the book is terrible, even by Tucker's standards.

Anonymous said...

HAHA Is this for real?

http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/sex-dating/78791/excerpts-assholes-finish-first

Are those real excerpts? They're awful!

Anonymous said...

Truly, truly bad. He writes like a 16 year old. And not even a very talented or intellligent 16 year old. This proves once and for all that Tucker is still stuck somewhere in his adolescence and has no idea what to do with himself as an adult.

Anonymous said...

" Erin is an awesome, beautiful girl from Cleveland—the kind of girl you want to have kids with."

Except that any Bunnyspawn were already guaranteed to be completely mental. A tucker crossbreed would - no, I have better things to do than think about this

Anonymous said...

Is marnie still available?

Anonymous said...

Gawker hasn't forgotten you Tucker:

http://gawker.com/5588082/tucker-max-has-composed-another-volume-of-witticisms


They're going to destroy you at your launch party... not just Hamilton Nolan, but the locals in Manhattan who read Gawker.

Anonymous said...

The sad silly not funny online magazine Gawker so-called are not being fair to the very very funny Mr. Tucker Max (who is a man) who writes very good funny books by a man who is a man who has sex with women and not men.

Anonymous said...

Also, all Gawker posts are intentional leaks as part of his marketing strategy (invented by Tucker Max, who is a man) which is total genius because he (a man) invented it and which only losers or losers who are not men do not understand.

Also, you should not be jealous of his (a man's) having slept with your girlfriend.

Anonymous said...

Me ching-chong Chinaman! Me posting birdscratch and gibberish to pretend to be civilized! IF ME KNEW HOW TO WRITE, ME POST WITH ENGLISH CHARACTERS LIKE WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS!

Anonymous said...

Tucker doesn't afraid of Gawker

Anonymous said...

7/17, it's actually jap, not chink

Anonymous said...

Assholes Finish First is out in about 60 days. Don't you just love the title? Tucker is just too dense to understand irony.

Anonymous said...

The excerpts from his newest book look like crap a horny pre-teen could have written. Is he going to have to return his non-existent $300k advance when this book fails just like his movie? His star wasn't bright to begin with and has faded substantially.

Anonymous said...

IDIOT BOARD IS BETTER THAN FREAK SAFARI

Anonymous said...

TIBOR TIBOR TIBOR

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max is a liar and a douchebag.

Anonymous said...

tucker ma is not 6 foot tall not even close actually


i hope this place get a bit more excitement when he new book come out

where is mccoymountain i miss that very great guy

Anonymous said...

For the full tucker max experience, read the story synopsis (they aren't really excerpts) with a lisp.

Anonymous said...

Didn't we discover something about mccoy? Like his real identity or something?

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