The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 15401 – 15600 of 15917 Newer› Newest»FS > TiB. If you don't like it, shove it up your mama's cunt, fuckface.
"Sex Lives of the Potato Men" was a documentary they made about Freak Safari.
My GOD, you people are losers. Anyone who gets into a 'flame war' over whether an anonymous messageboard is better than another anonymous messageboard is a fucking retard.
The idiot Board and Freak Safari are both silly, Tucker's a liar and a douchebag, Nils is fat as all hell, and that's the end of it. Capisce?
i like heidi, yes i do
becuz her boobies tell me to
I want to have 9:05's illegitimate children.
--possessor of boobs superior to Heidi's
I found out that Grind is no longer a moderator on TiB.
That is bullshit. He was the funniest mod there was. Freak Safari would be smart to snatch him up.
Take your message board battles here, you pansies:
whogivesashit.com
i hate it when griffinwrites does updates that aren't about tucker.
write about tucker you fagnadian
He should write about The Idiot Board. Lots of interesting goings-on there, suitable for in-depth discussion. It's about time the Tuckersphere began its inevitable expansion.
@11:48
tits not posted
therefore, liar
and mangay too
OMG IT REALLY IS TUCKER
I know this is ancient history now, but I just read this piece:
http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/how-to-succeed-in-hollywood/
Can you believe the fucking hubris of this guy, writing a piece about how to make it in Hollywood, on the basis of what he expected was going to happen? It makes the movie's cataclysmic failure that much funnier. Truly, he is this decade's Troy Duffy.
From the Script Reader's entry on Tucker Max:
"Marc on December 10th, 2009 10:55 pm
Hey Tucker,
I won. Everything I said came true and everything you said ended up being false. You will never ever get another chance in Hollywood and from what I’ve heard your book is basically in the literary equal of being in “turnaround”.
How does it feel now? Still want to come into my office and call me names when I say your script needs work?
You’ve lost at a level nobody but losers can truly appreciate."
Awesome.
http://filmindustrybloggers.com/thescriptreader/2008/07/29/the-tucker-max-movie-idiots-delight/
Adapted screenplay
Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell - “District 9” (Sony Pictures Releasing)
Nick Hornby - “An Education” (Sony Pictures Classics)
Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche - “In the Loop” (IFC)
Geoffrey Fletcher - “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate)
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner - “Up in the Air” (Paramount with Cold Spring and DW)
Duhhrrrrr ... Tucker? Where's that Oscar nomination you were speaking of?
Heidi is a nice name.
Q: What does Tucker say to Bunny with two black eyes?
A: Nothing! He already done told her twice!
I can't comprehend the irony of Tucker's statements about how IHTSBIH will crush the Hangover and possibly get an oscar for adapted screenplay.
It's like the academy voters got together and nominated Hangover for best picture just to get another dig in at Tucker.
Well played
That scriptreader bitch will eat her words. Tucker's DVD is still selling steadily on Amazon. I bet it's approaching a million total.
^^Not a million. A BAZILLION!**
From Amazon review:
"Buying this movie would be like paying to watch a disabled child being shoved down a flight of stairs. Some might find it mildly amusing but the rest of the public would be mortified."
That scriptreader bitch will eat her words. Tucker's DVD is still selling steadily on Amazon. I bet it's approaching a million total.
Amazon sales are actually falling. And it's only one week out to boot. You do realize that 'HOW TO GET GREAT ABS' workout DVDs will outsell this movie 10 to 1 right?
BIH will sell around 30,000 units on dvd. If true 'word of mouth' kicks in it will only sell around 25,000. FOX is looking to easily make hundreds of thousands of dollars on this one.
That scriptreader bitch will eat her words. Tucker's DVD is still selling steadily on Amazon. I bet it's approaching a million total.
Yep, it's selling like crazy! #189 overall in movies on Amazon, #37 on Comedies (and falling) behind such recent hits as The Boys are Back and The Office: Season Two. The revolution is here!
^^Like I said. A BAZILLION!
On the heels of another great review, the DVD is picking up speed!! At least if you ask Tucker it is. Probably one of the funnier review wrap-ups I've ever read:
"The Verdict
Crap. This movie is complete crap. It took me several hours to watch because it was so bad that I had to pause it and walk away more than a dozen times. Had I been a paying customer in the theater, I would have walked out within the first 30 minutes. Avoid at all costs."
See the full review here:
http://www.the-numbers.com/interactive/newsStory.php?newsID=4785
"There is a very good chance that I will hate the next thing I see Matt Czuchry in because of how bad his character was in this movie. "
Just watched "The Good Wife " last night - I liked it right up till I saw Matt Chucksky - suddenly I felt dirty and had to leave the room to shower.
People. No one has told me whether or not Nils is still fat. Wtf?
^^^ Nils is fat... not in the sense that fatness is an attribute of his, but in the sense that the term 'fat' is synonymous with the term 'Nils'. Saying 'Nils is fat' is like saying 'water is liquid'.
brb idiots, fueling the rudius jet.
There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Drake, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Commander's daughter.
So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.
"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."
The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake. "Your first task is to destroy the Sanshas in R8-5XF."
On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to destroy the Sanshas and six months later returned with the head of their foul leader.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass"
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes,*the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".
On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake.
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".
On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass."
Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake?"
"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Drake, can I marry your daughter now?"
"Sure."
Posted on Tugger's Facebook:
Lucas Mize: dude, i have been suggesting your book to every literate person i know for the last 3 years. i have already pre-ordered AFF. I had high hopes for your movie...but it SUCKED. You owe your fan base a good film. consider youself called out.
Yeah, Tugger's fans LOVED his film.
the movie isn't even in the top 100 on the biggest torrent sites. but somehow the dvd is selling out LOLLOLLL
people don't want to waste bandwidth
(.)(.)
there, tits pppoasted
old and saggy tbqfh
brb idiots, reloading the targets at the rudius crossbow range.
hi iditos
idiot fail
no u
mm
?
yes
no
wat
zip, zip.
blarg
oh
IHTSBiH is ranked #331 in DVD's on Amazon, a little over a week after being released.
No way to spin this.
Huge fucking Tugger Max Fail.
The consensus from Tucker's "fans" on facebook seems to be that he took a shit when he made IHTSBiH the movie.
Before Tucker deletes it...
Michael Casalinuovo: considering how bad your movie is, i would say you marketed it very well considering you've made as much money as you have. no offense, i loved your books, but i found myself yawning after months of anticipation for the flim. in fact i liked the douchey videos from the road trip a lot more. the fucking childo... amazing.
Tugger lost his Oscar nomination to superior films and lost his girlfriend to Steve Sanders from 90210. Fail. Nils is fat fail.
How the fuck does ANYONE lose their girlfriend to Ian Ziering? Hell, she seems to have moved to Hollywood with the only objective on bottom feeding for the golden opportunity of being the wife of a washout.
Hot Damn! Beer in Hell dvd has jumped to #10 for today on Amazon.
Bullshit.
Beer in Hell has plunged further. It is now ranked #349 in Movie & TV DVD sales.
Hey Tucker, would that qualify as an Amazon Best Seller on some supplemental list?
lost his girlfriend to ian ziering? explain
altho steve was always the single honest and reasonably grounded person on that show, the rest of them were just decadent useless retards
boy that movie has a really odd tone. It's like a dark, grainy, realistic look at a bunch of childish misogynistic assholes who are terribly amused by themselves when no one else is. Thus the flashback dream sequences things, like McGriddle and stuff, don't fit at all. It's barely even a comedy. If Tucker was deliberately trying to make himself look unlikeable, he couldn't have done a better job.
I like the parts with Drew and the stripper, though, and Traci Lords still looks good for a 40 year old.
@8:31pm
Ha-ha. You actually watched that shitty show?
I liked it much better when it was called AMERICAN PIE 3.
"Not in the Top 100????
From Amazon
#28 in Movies & TV > Comedy
Hahahahahaha PWND faggots"
It's #300 or so in all dvds Movie/TV currently selling.
So yeah...who is getting pwnd moron.
http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/how-to-succeed-in-hollywood/
Most. Hilarious. Thing. Ever.
it must seem harder to justify tucker's plan to buy thousands of dvds from amazon, artificially inflating the sales numbers, and creatign a false buzz, like he did with his book, now that the movie has proven to be terrible.
brb, ignoring the idiots, fueling the rudius rocketship, and ordering 1000 more beer in hell dvds, so i can sell them back used.
glug...glug...glug
"Amazon.com Sales Rank: #416 in Movies & TV (See Bestsellers in Movies & TV)
Popular in this category: #99 in Movies & TV > Comedy"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I got Tucker Max Banned from his Twitter account.
Guess he doesn't like being called a douchebag for saying the douchey shit he says.
^^ What happened? Can you elaborate?
i think you mean "fuck you banned."
yeah, yeah, fuck you banned.
i'm pretty sure whatever it was he initially tweeted has long since been removed, but it was some nasty slight against ireland. it very well could have been this tweet:
love that some people thought I was serious. What do I know about mick politics? I'm gonna get drunk on Guinness and find me pot o'gold.
but I think he'd said something far more obnoxious to warrant this response:
do you have any idea how much of a douchebag you truly are? In 2004 it was cute, now it's revolting.
but yeah, fuck you banned the only way tucker can these days - via twitter. i'm shaking in my shoes.
ok, let's do this
leeeeeeeeroooooooy
jeeeeeennnkiiiiiiiiiins
wait, no
wtf? where am i? wtf wtf wtf
this don't look like barrens chat
well. least i got chicken.
HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL HARRY STEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMSHOVEL HAAAAAAAARRRYSTEEEAM SHOVEL
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #505 in Movies & TV
Someone made a piece of shit movie.
So when Tucker says "Assholes Finish First", did he mean Ian Ziering?
What? Too soon?
ha ha. ian is finally a step up from the previous hollywood boyfriend. i heard nils' wife is leaving him for Screech
I heard nils' wife is leaving him for the Cookie Monster; she wants someone with a little more control over their weight.
You see, because, nils is fat.
Has anyone seen the Burger King commercial that has the guy with the tiny hands ? It reminds me of some douchebag I've read about.
I don't know if there is anyone knowledgeable in this area, but why does the price of the movie keep changing? Last week it was at 15/16. Yesterday 17. Now it's at 20.
I heard Smurfette has big smurfs.
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #403
403 is actually extremely good for a 2nd week release. Keep in mind this is AMAZON we're talking about. A sub-500 ranking means it's shipping about 20,000 units a day.
^^Can you provide any sources on this? Where are you getting 20k units per day?
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #403
403 is actually extremely good for a 2nd week release. Keep in mind this is AMAZON we're talking about. A sub-500 ranking means it's shipping about 20,000 units a day.
We'll assume you are correct and even say that the film has sold at a solid pace for all 13 days despite the daily fall that is posted on Amazon's chart and the fact that ALL films never beat their first 7 days of sales. Best case scenario the film has sold:
230,000
Not bad.
They only need to sell about 4 to 5 million more dvds until the profits kick in.
There's no way that can mean 20k units per day. Look at the numbers.com, with movies that have only sold around 40k in the week. That was in mid January, and their rank is still higher than Tucker's on amazon.com. It's obviously it's less than 20k unless All About Steve and 500 Days of Summer WOM is really kicking in now!
I wish I could make up numbers as brazenly as Pro-TuckerGuy.
tucker's dvd has already sold right around 430,000 copies, according to videocity.com. just for those of you who don't think this movie's going to find its niche.
videocity.com is not a website.
Can it with the stats, faggots. Tucker Max is a liar and a douchebag. Nils is fat. That is all.
According to the weekly sales charts in Variety, Tucker's movie was #6 for new releases, and sold about 280,000 unites in its first week of release. You can verify by just picking up a copy of Variety for Tuesday, 9 Feb (it's on newsstands tonight).
^^^
More bullshit from Tugger.
This just in... Nils still fucking fat.
tucker purchased 80% of any copies sold. that is part of his plan. that is also why so many used copies are available.
furthermore, i live directly next to where rudius jet is parked, and that thing is always either coming or going. i can't get any sleep. stop flying around on your private jet so much, tucker.
Amazon's reporting that BEER IN HELL has sold 371,000 copies, as of 11PM west coast time tonight.
suck on THAT ,haters.
this movie has already sold over a million copies in canada alone!
suck on that, haters!
^^^^Translation: i Hope they serve beer in hell sales in Japan as of Monday, Feb 8: 2.68 million copies.
Boy, were we all wrong.
tucker 'maggot fingers' max you lying little faggot, the only thing on thenumbers.com regarding dvd sales is the following,
"The Verdict
Crap. This movie is complete crap. It took me several hours to watch because it was so bad that I had to pause it and walk away more than a dozen times. Had I been a paying customer in the theater, I would have walked out within the first 30 minutes. Avoid at all costs. "
Fail, as usual.
I would be surprised if they even pressed 200k DVDs of this movie.
The Fat Nils and Dr. Evil are reporting that they sold 1 million; no make that. . . 1 Billion copies of the DVD.
Tucker says that any number of DVDs that Fox can sell, he can sell more out of the trunk of his Kia outside the cool bars in Austin. . . easily.
President Obama is reporting the new stimulus bill will provide every US citizen with a free copy of IHTSBiH. Instantly bumping DVD sales to 310 million!
Suck on that haterz!
My friend and I were recently talking about how technology has become so integrated in our day to day lives. Reading this post makes me think back to that debate we had, and just how inseparable from electronics we have all become.
I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as technology further develops, the possibility of downloading our memories onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could see in my lifetime.
(Submitted using WhatPost for R4i Nintendo DS.)
I never saw this photo of tucker max on set. Looks like he was well respected. But why didn't any of the actors including porn stars mention the film?
http://flisted.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/tucker-max-protested-1.jpg
NilsAParker's latest tweet:
Rainbow over Hollywood. There's probably no pot of gold at the end of it, but there's definitely a food truck http://tweetphoto.com/10899899
Exactly Nils, you chase down that food truck at the end of the rainbow.
All of the actors were embarrassed they appeared in such a piece of shit.
They collectively did almost ZERO publicity for the film.
Looks like tucker is having the last laugh...
Christopher Carter Sanderson, founding artistic and producing director of the Gorilla Repertory Theater Company, has obtained the rights to bring the work of blogger and all around Web bon vivant Tucker Max — specifically, his book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell — to Broadway.
In fact, according to Sanderson, the project will be billed as I Hope They Serve Beer… On Broadway!
wootness in the wootling land
@6:36 HAHAHAHAHA that's hilarious
Czuchry is laughing at him even while he's yelling
6:36 - a classic. would love to now what czuchry et al thought of him.
awwww lil sausage hands LOLOLL
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/11/tuckerboob.jpg
That face. Those eyes. That jutting granite chin!
THAT IS THE FACE OF A GREAT GREAT MAN
Tucker = Cunt
one in a grillion makes me want to eat some shit.
-jethro
this blog sucks now. we won. tucker lost. close this shit blog now as it is no more fun. it's not funny, it's not fun.
BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY HOWARD STERN'S PENIS.
steve i'm real busy let me call you back.
STEVE LANGFORD HAS A HUGE PENIS.
takes shits at work, takes shits at work.
Less than 20,000 copies were printed for IHTSBIH
i love how he totally dropped off the radar. what a coward. a geeky small handed creepy 40 year old coward.
i love how he totally dropped off the radar. what a coward. a geeky small handed creepy 40 year old coward.
i love how he totally dropped off the radar. what a coward. a geeky small handed creepy 40 year old coward.
i love how you posted that three times in a row
What can I say, I'm Theodore Three-times. Or so the girls say.
What can I say, I'm Theodore Three-times. Or so the girls say.
What can I say, I'm Theodore Three-times. Or so the girls say.
Tucker Max for the Win!!!
Eat your hearts out, loosers. Tuckers DVD is at #536 in sales on Amazon, almost a month after the release date. Tucker is prolly getting close to one million copies sold!
WOOT!!!!!!!!!
http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/
Hahahahahahaha
now Nils and Tucker are song writers...I see a great and long career ahead of them...hahahaahahaah
"We wrote several more verses with the intent of doing a whole legit song, but we didn’t have the time or money to get it done the way we needed to. And we did a whole other song that I think is even better, but we’re keeping those in the pocket, just in case the DVD sales keep doing as well as they are, and we end up doing a sequel."
The more things change, the more they stay the same. This isn't even fun anymore---its like arguing with a retard.
He's fucking nuts if he thinks a sequel is coming. He's already in 600 sales rank on Amazon. Movies that came out on DVD months ago are doing better than his is.
He's fucking nuts. The poster above is absolutely right, at this point it's like arguing with a retard.
He's fucking nuts if he thinks a sequel is coming. He's already in 600 sales rank on Amazon. Movies that came out on DVD months ago are doing better than his is.
He's fucking nuts. The poster above is absolutely right, at this point it's like arguing with a retard.
Dear Tucker,
While it was funny to watch your downfall, I want to say at the bare level I do admire the way you did things your way. You have a lot of growing up to do but I don't think anyone really hates you. Your just a giant douche, but we need douches in todays world.
Instead of being the poster boy for the Common Man, your the NOT TO DO edition. I suggest that you write a movie about all the dumb shit you said. It could be a new kind of vanity project where the writer, producer, director gives a vindication of his own work. A "hilarity ensues" piece of art where instead of your asshole being the art, its the douche.
Just laugh at yourself once in a while. Its funny how you relentlessly make fun people who practice the same god given right in protesting you and you say they are stuck up and "don't get it."
No its you who doesn't get it. Act like an asshole to people and accept the consequences. But seriously just make a movie about your hollywood failure and tell it like it is. Then during the credits you offer an apology for acting like douche and credit this website for learning the error of your ways.
This is what I merely ask of you. If you do it, I will give much consideration in pre-ordering "Assholes Finish First"
Thank you and good luck
Anonymous fan #23
If Tucker can admit that his movie is sub-standard in every respect and that he got owned by Hollywood, I will consider pre-ordering his next book.
Nimblety,
Nimblety,
Nimblety,
POO!
Tucker = Huge Cunt
sorry i didn't mean to write that three times, blogger is as slow as grandma sex
DVD - two weeks out with estimated units sold 70,000 total. As each week passes, less units move. I'm guessing end of DVD run no more than 105k units. what do you think? Far less than tucker's estimated 2 million
tucker quotes:
if we sell millions of DVD’s, then we get into profitability
selling millions of DVD’s means two things: 1. People like the movie, and 2. we will be able to make sequels.
We need to sell about two million DVD’s before we start to seriously consider a sequel
where are you all getting these dvd sales figures?
you are waaaaaay off.
Yeah it's like a bazillion times more than that.
It's more like 4 BILLION DVDs sold in ONE HOUR.
...last year.
Before the movie even came out!
!
!
!
i wish to be disruptive, please
again, those posting dvd sales on here are way off.
what are your sources? I happen to have the real numbers, and your claims are waaaay low.
nice try, haters. once again, hilarity ensues.
seriously, you fuckers making up sales numbers are just laughable.
the numbers are easy to find if you just do a little searching.
so far, BIH has sold almost 600,000 units- plus another 300,000 in Canada, and almost 100,000 more overseas.
pathetic twats.
You know, people criticize NYC and LA as being filled with vapid, soulless, evil people, and they may be right...but Tucker didn't last 18 months in either place. I mean, they practically ran him out of town on a rail; the plain white t-shirts don't go over well with the Armani crowd I guess, and University of Chicago isn't that impressive to a group of Ivy Leaguers.
Say what you will about the coasts, but people there are good about spotting frauds like Tucker and making them squirm. You don't get to just adopt the cool, funny womanizer persona if you can't back it up, and if you're not quick on your feet you'll get eviscerated. As a native Midwesterner, I can see why Tucker tries to stay in Middle America as much as possible; people out here are actually stupid and tasteless enough to buy into his bullshit.
^^^ Yeah, but, dude, didn't you read the post above you, where the guy practically PROVED that tucker's DVD is selling tons and tons of awesome copies?
#558 on the Amazon sales rank.
I'm confused: high numbers are bad, right? Low numbers = more sales? You can see why the fanboys get confused...
I don't think it's selling that badly. A rank of 500+ isn't terrible. And he's in the top 20 rentals on Itunes. I don't know how that translates sales-wise, but it seems to be going better than his theater release...which is weird since the movie sucks and most people seem to think so.
Tucker loves the gray fuzz. When Mojo reports actual box office figures, it's tough to put much of a spin on it, other than to beg his fans not to look at the hater sites. And now that the actual DVD figures are not out yet, we hear these unsubstantiated claims that he is selling hundreds of thousands of DVDs.
movie's at #46 on itunes, not in the top 20. just sayin.
Arguing about DVD sales is boring. Let's talk about HOLY COW CASSANDRA CAT ON A SHIRT
http://www.cafepress.com/joshreads/3573296
@7:32 YIFF IN HELL FURFAG
"Say what you will about the coasts, but people there are good about spotting frauds like Tucker and making them squirm. You don't get to just adopt the cool, funny womanizer persona if you can't back it up, and if you're not quick on your feet you'll get eviscerated."
Very true. Tucker took his cool guy act out to LA and couldn't even compete with d-listers like Ian Ziering. While he was in LA or NYC, he dated and/or been linked with zero A-lister women. Austin is much more his speed. He can sit on the bar stool and spin his web of e-fame to the gullible college crowd.
In NYC or LA, he was a nobody. In NY or LA, they will ask the hard questions like who his editor is, agent, and the so called people that made him these great offers/deals. After 3 or 4 questions, they can conclude that Tucker is full of shit because they know the players and the grapevine is relatively small. Even secondary people like lawyers and executive assistants in the agencies know the real from the fagazi. If you look at the old script reader comments, you can see that Mark and Vincenzo knew from their own contacts that Tucker's tale was fabricated. It played out exactly as they predicted.
Being in NY or LA as a con artist D-lister can be quite humbling. There is the knowing glance among the real players when Tucker starts his schtick, the patronizing head shakes, the bored disinterested look of those forced to listen to idle BS for a minute. The girls giggling because they have already been warned that Tucker is a loser. It must have totally killed Tucker.
What really must have been funny was when the real players sent very low level assistants to meet with him in a courtesy meeting. Talk about an ego blow to someone who thinks he's special. Then Tucker tells some story to somebody in the know about a meeting with someone really high up; and the other guy knows the real story and who they sent to meet with him. It's exactly the kind of scenario that kills a wannabe like Tucker. "Yeah, Tucker, you met with James Cameron, who else was there at the meeting?"
In Austin, it will at least take a few months before they figure him out.
Austin is full of game devs who are always dealing with California and utterly crappy backstabbing business deals. They're not unsophisticated.
dvd sales chart showing less than 100,000 units sold. No where close to a million lol. And the film dropped after it's first week so unless there's a miracle, beer in hell is no where near even half a million.
Being a socal native, I completely agree that Tucker couldn't hang here and left with his tail between his legs.
nonsense, when he opens his crossbow range bars all over south central LA and rakes in the big bucks you'll be eating your words
eating them with the cheesy fries and beer off of tucker-themed plates while waving your custom TuckerMax(tm) crossbow at the FatChick(tm) target cutout
and you'll buy five dvds of each of his many movies when you go, because you'll want to watch each five times at once
everybody will be buying 4 extra bigscreen tvs and dvd players and this will reinvigorate the american economy and tucker the genius will be famous and all the hottest hollywood stars will be begging to get into his bed
absolutely revolutionary, people
absolutely revolutionary
Beer in Hell sold under 70,000 units the first two weeks of sales (currently in its 3rd week). The dvd was ranked #6 of new releases for that week, meaning 5 other new releases did better.
However on the overall us dvd sales. the dvd debuted at 34 and has since dropped.
Example for 2008 - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix DVD sold 989,402 units. There is no way Beer in Hell is coming close to that number.
I'm guessing under 150,000 total units sold by end of year.
the 150,000 estimate is also in line with actual book sales of around 600k rather than the 1.2 mil claimed by Tucker.
if one of you faggots could actually post a link or some sort of documentation, hell any kind of source whatsoever to back up your DVD sales numbers I'd shit my pants.
documentation is for weenies
tucker's dvd has sold 3 copies total, everybody knows that, it's easy to find the info on all the industry sites
You stupid fuck haterz.
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell DVD is NOT at 600, its ranked on Amazon at 552 and holding steady. If you knew anything about DVD sales you'd know that he's selling over 20,000 DVDs per week. If Tucker had better sales and marketing, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell would probably be a Top 10 selling DVD right now. You stupid fucks just watch and learn from The Master. This movie has nowhere to go but up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnXreBowaCk
Man, that Tucker sure is a deep, profound thinker. What a compelling, powerful interview with one of the entertainment industry's most mysterious and interesting personalities.
Tucker's movie has not been released on Blu-Ray.
^^^ That's because, as everyone revolutionary knows, Blu-Ray is part of the old Hollywood system. SD video is the future. Tucker Max is revolutionizing the whole entire industry. Why,did you know that the DVD includes deleted scenes? I'm talking about scenes that weren't even IN the movie. Name one other DVD that does THAT.
I'm eating dried pineapple right now.
It's like candy. Only gooder.
Ignore the idiots. If Tucker was killing it on DVD sales, he would have already written a blog post about it. His silence is all you need to know.
I'm not sure where the exact dvd charts are but 60-70k sounds right for a film with a 36 rank in its second week.
For comparison, here's Paranormal Activity info released three weeks ago.
Week three, Paranormal Activity with a 14 rank, sold under 100k.
Based on the site's trends the numbers of units sold the first week for tucker's film would be in the 37,000 units with each week dropping as Paranormal Activity did.
http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/2009/PNACT-DVD.php
tucker's too busy right now to worry about the blog
he's been flying to seattle and san diego multiple times in the past month working out additional distribution deals, bonus placement, promotional racks, with amazon, borders, barnes&noble, walmart, and various other top-end retailers
they're having trouble keeping up with the demand, it's not every dvd where the number of units sold per week goes up by 100k every week
do not email me about this people
Jumpgate Evolution is vaporware, it'll never come out.
Just as well TBQFHBBQLOL
from the DF devlog
" I forgot to set the boiling point of the gas inside the body of a floating creature, so the poor thing died with the message " has condensed." The former gas was in a puddle. You'll still be able to get this to happen if you lure them out of the caves onto a glacier."
this is going to be so loving awesome
To the guy who said that the people of Austin will not recognize Tucker for the douchebag that he is -
We already have. We're on notice that he's here, and believe you me, we will run him out of town on a rail. Austin might be the most overrated city on the planet, but we'll get rid of that assclown.
I've been to Austin. It's a boring town.
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #818 in Movies & TV (See Bestsellers in Movies & TV).
Yup ... 2 million DVD sales and going strong. Fuck-a-you haterz!
According to my calculations, 818 rank on Amazon...
2, 7, 909,
...carry the three.
It has to be at least 8 billion.
8 billion and ONE!~ I just bought my copy!!11~~
Also a plane just smashed into the Austin offices of the Internal Revenue Service, going full throttle at the moment of impact.
IRS agents everywhere, we love you, we really do. Expect more love coming your way.
Here we go. Joe Stack's last words:
http://www.businessinsider.com/joseph-andrew-stacks-insane-manifesto-2010-2
Cheers, Joe. And thanks.
also here
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0218102stack1.html
apparently the FBI is trying to 'disappear' this little gem
hey tucker, i downloaded your movie via bit torrent (didn't pay) and then i told everyone what an awful movie it was, and to consider murdering babies before watching your frowny-failurepiece.
i was wondering if you approve of my actions? i am just a guy, and there are many like me, and we buried you. we can't take full credit, cause you did bury yourself. the movie did suck, after all. but even if it were good, we'd still bury you, cause you deserve failure.
so i was just wondering if this was ok with you. i don't want you to 86 me from rudius media's crossbow range, the rudius bar, or your f-hollywood private jet.
also, i wrote many bad reviews about your dad's restaurant (max's grille) online. ive never been there, but i pretended that i had been. i hope that if he lost any customers from me that it doesnt affect your allowance. you certainly need that money to buy your own dvds and resell it back on amazon. lord knows you need the artificial sales numbers.
Dear JAck,
I am sorry, I have met someone new. He fucks me deeper and harder than you ever did. I'm so sorry if I hurt you because I care for you more than anybody else in the world and you're so sweet and I'm sure you'll meet the right girl someday. Anyway I'm leaving you, goodbye
Sue
JAck,
There's this one guy called Nils, and he's really fat. He met some dumb lawyer bitch, tricked her into supporting his huge ass for years while he wrote a screenplay, and then fucked away 10 million of someone else's dollars. He really sucks and is fat.
Hey guys, I was wondering if you all could help me- I can't find any copies of Bunny's book or Kungfu Mike's book at my local bookstore. I'm guessing that they're just sold out, given how popular the books are, but has anyone read the books? Are they as good as the media is saying they are? I keep hearing about how Bunny's book, in particular, is literally changing literature for the better. And I know Kungfu Mike's book must be incredibly moving- having to deal with the death of his father like that. I mean, nobody's fathers EVER die, so he truly has gone through something remarkable.
Anyhow, if anyone know where I can get copies of these books, please let me know. Also, I can't seem to find Tucker's new book anywhere. I know it was scheduled to come out in 2008, but I can't find it. Thanks for your help!
does anyone know which major distributor has picked up nils' new screenplay? i hear it's a cross between vice-versa, a double cheeseburger, jon benet ramsey, and carrot top's 'chairman of the board'. anyone know whos distributing it? i want to be able to say i was there when the paradigm changed !
@shitmydadsays just got a cbs deal. it's a twitter page of quotes from some guy's dad. william shatner has signed on to play the dad.
@rudius_media just got offered a deal where tucker gets no money, but someone turns his shitty book into a shitty one man play to be acted out on the shitty streets. it will never come to fruition and no one will care either way.
@nils parker is fat and his wife is cheating on him. no joke
What is this idiocy with the Acai berries? I see these ads all over the fucking place, just that they're so prevalent is enough to know it's a fucking scam, but what the hell are they trying to sell? Bigger dicks?
is ironic that the commercial spammers (as opposed to just stupid spammers) show up after the show's over and most of the audience has left
goes to show, advertisers are always morons
#671 on Amazon sales rank. Really tearing up the charts! Or down, depending on which way you're counting.
Holy shit! This is now #890 0n Amazon - that's a drop of 200+ in 12 hours. Profit, sequels, private jet: there they go...
I don't know where people are getting there numbers from, but there are no numbers yet.
a) http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/weekly/thisweek.php
It's only updated to January 24.
b) This dvd was not for sale at many of the usual locations simply because they didn't press enough
c) They did not sell 70k units in 2 weeks, they didn't even press 70,000 dvds
d) At not time was it #5 anywhere. Please, it was #36 or something IN COMEDY. The highest it ever got was about #300 of all the DVDs being sold on Amazon.
e) It's never going to be on the numbers list because it will never sell more than 40k a week.
as far as i'm concerned, this movie has beaten the hangover.
i saw tucker at max's grille the other day. he is at least 6'0, no doubt. and nils isn't fat either.
niggers
bitch-niggers
bitch-ass niggers
Review of DVD on chud.com --
- - - -
Allow me to slice out 2,200 venomous words from what's already going to be a diatribe of a review right upfront by simply affirming what you can already tell from the first 15 seconds of the trailer: Yes, the movie's an atrocity. Yes, it revels in white, privileged, misogynist, sociopathic behavior the way some of us revel in a long shower after wading through a landfill, or a sewer, or New Jersey. Yes, I have wondered many an hour if Tucker Max's face can stop bullets, and think its high time we all found out in a very public setting.
Here's the reaction I didn't expect: I don't hate the film for going so far out of its way to make Darwin do a goddamned Psycho Crusher in his grave with its depictions of modern man and woman as anthropomorphic genitalia with shoes. I'm actually angry because it doesn't go far enough.
When Tucker first came over, the question was whether they could or should enforce Rule 34 on R2D2 fucking a chocobo. 6 beers later, it was only a question of when.
In a weird, roundabout way, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell is the real spiritual sequel to American Psycho. If you imagine Patrick Bateman was just bored enough to one day settle down with some woman whose face he secretly wants to mount on his wall like a squishy African tribal mask, raise a couple of kids in suburbia, it is perfectly reasonable Tucker Max would result from that union. Far as we know, he doesn't necessarily have homicidal fantasies (that may very well be his friend Aspergian friend Drew, played by Jesse "Goddammit-You-Worked-With-Aaron-Sorkin-You-Should-Know-Better" Bradford, who's responsible for some of the most vicious lines in the film) but he definitely shares the misogyny and misanthropy. Only difference is that Tucker actually enjoys who he is and what he's doing. His journey through life feels like it's all research for a book that you hope never happe--OH WAIT NEVER MIND. Example: when our movie starts, his driving goal in life is to sleep with three women with three different disabilities, going for the Helen Keller hat trick. His words, not mine. Later, he drags two of his best friends to a strip club in Virginia under the pretense of a bachelor party for his soon-to-be-married friend Dan, when really, it's an excuse to drive out to seduce a midget stripper at said club. And in between, there are several little moments of objectification where Tucker is able to get all sorts of play, or at least potential play, just by being the biggest asshole with the biggest vocabulary, at the expense of the bartender too nice to ask out the hot waitress, or the girls who go to a bar to, God forbid, lose sobriety, not dignity.
I don't doubt for a second that this tactic works, and this is ultimately the Tucker Max hypothesis: In this life, with enough passive aggressive charm and flair, the asshole usually wins. Not that we needed him to tell us that. And we all know there's a certain brand of girl that falls for that, there always have been these girls, there will continue to be.
The person who would exploit such a society and the women who love him can make for interesting film, if not so much a great one, and certainly not a safe one, which is the only way a character like this gets to skate by on any level. But, as mentioned, that movie was American Psycho, and you're allowed a minute to stop reading this review to snicker a little at the fact that a movie based on a book written by a bisexual man, screenwritten by a lesbian, and directed by a feminist has more to say about white male privilege and power than an actual self-aware white male with privilege and power. The real slap in the face is this: I haven't read the book upon which this movie is based, and the day I do, it will be followed by a lovely selection of after-dinner strychnine pills, but a cursory search for reviews suggest that he does not compromise his position during this book. He has a moment of clarity, but ultimately, does not compromise, apologize, or backtrack from who he is.
This movie has him apologizing.
And not just apologizing, but falling victim to the most boring, chick flick cliche in the book. The asshole friend shows up to his jilted buddy's wedding a night after realizing what a dick he's been and apologizes. And everyone laughs, his friends forgive him, "Oh, That Tucker", and then we're back to asking whether he actually had midget sex. His friend Dan makes up with his scorned wife in seconds. Serial killer in training Drew finds love with a sharp-tongued stripper who found the way to his heart through Halo 3.
Oh, yeah, did no one tell you? I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell is actually a romantic comedy. Granted, The Hangover falls victim to this same convention, but there's actually sincere, mostly earned regret and retribution for the night before in that film, from three guys who may be fucking idiots, but mostly mean well. One of the guys we're supposed to have empathy for in this movie tells us he'd rather mainline Drano than listen to any more whore prattle, and threatens to carve another fuck-hole in a woman's torso. Once the film crosses that line--and it does, repeatedly, like its the Mexican border--empathy dies screaming like a stuck Irish pig. And a movie that dares to make you hate it in such cold blooded, startling detail almost earns a baleful, grudging respect. Larry Clark's whole career rides on that principle. But the film nudges you in the ribs and says "I'm just playin' ladies, you know I love you" in the last ten minutes, castrating the one morbidly fascinating aspect from entire affair.
For what purpose exactly? Neither movie or book has much to speak of in terms of plot, as opposed to being an excuse to get absolute gems like the examples above to stream out of our protagonists. Tucker shows no such restraint to anyone in the book. The only explanation is that Max, with all his wisdom, knew the success of this movie relied on getting some fraction of the female population satiated with this film, and the only way to do that is to make himself look somewhat repentant, to kowtow to the female ideal that maybe the bad boy can change after all.
Fuck that. Had Tucker Max ended the film with him proudly proclaiming his right to be an asshole, cognizant of what he is, what he has done, what he will continue to do, and it is not his responsibility to make him like you, then had himself a nice, floppy "I am a bright, shining star" moment in a mirror, you'd at least have an exercise in hate on your hands, and that's at least worth talking about. But in the end, he makes the compromise he chooses not to make in real life, expecting that he might win over the date night crowd. That makes him a bigger whore than the women he calls by the same name.
Tucker Max. He and Joe Francis are everything that's wrong with having a dick in the modern age. He runs a website which I'm sure extraterrestrials will use as justification when they annihilate our asses. I never expected to like him. But I also didn't expect him to be a pussy.
Amazon.com Sales Rank: #924 in Movies & TV (See Bestsellers in Movies & TV)
Ahahahahaha...DVD sales of 2,000,000 Tucker? At this rate, you'll be lucky to sell 100,000.
And as for you telling that bow-tied interviewer on YouTube that you sold 1,500,000 books and could retire today on all the money you've made off of it, bwahahahahahaha!! What a sad, sad little man.
We have a distributor and it's a major. I'm not allowed to say anything until the trades make the official announcement. - Tucker Max
IHTSBIH will be released into thousands of theater just like any other Hollywood movie. - Tucker Max
Rudius Air: We are already in talks to purchase or lease two high-end private jets that will cater to specically to filmmakers. More on this later.
Crossbow and Rifle range: We have met with a few commercial realtors in Los Angeles to help us scout a location for an indoor firing range that isn't limited to handguns. There is a huge potential market for this in Southern California. People are just to lazy to do the research.
Rudius Air is now a real possibility.
More about that later.
This movie has always been about making art. It has never been about money. If we wanted money, Nils and I could have taken the 8-figure deal that was put on the table.
Come September, Nils and I are going to see some serious F.U. money!
t has always been about the art. Never about money.
Some people who should have done their jobs didn't, and we didn't realize it until too late, and now--on a movie that had almost no margin for error--we are stuck with some huge errors, most of which were completely out of our control.
The fight doesn't end with the theatrical release of this movie. Losing this battle doesn't mean the war is lost.
Does it bother anyone that the most successful and creative person to come out of the Rudius disaster is Ryan Holiday?
Name one other person associated that's doing well?
You mean Ryan holiday has managed to achieve greater success than being Tucker's breadwinner, Wikipedia page wrangler and personal asswiper since Rudius Media took the turd's way out?
Seriously, good on him! The cunt.
"Does it bother anyone that the most successful and creative person to come out of the Rudius disaster is Ryan Holiday?
Name one other person associated that's doing well?"
How do you figure that Ryan's doing well?
Ryan is a self-important hack. He's a secretary to two total losers. How's that "doing well"? Fail Dog was sold for 33% of what he paid for it. He lives in a shit apartment. He proof-reads for cunts. Yeah, a real golden boy.
I was away for the better part of a year where the interwebs were crappy. The downfall of turd boy and pals has been awesome to catch up on, like a late birthday present.
I hear that Nils is still fat.
For some reason, after viewing the Chinese spam, I feel like eating chinese food with the fat Nils. This whole subliminal persuasion really seems to work.
steve langford's mother is a cunt.
http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/weekly/thisweek.php
^^^You're a dumbass. TheNumbers doesn't record DVD sales in the billions.
steve langford has a huge penis.
Wow. Tucker couldn't even sell 30,000 copies in the first week of his DVD being on shelves.
Fail.
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