Saturday, March 24, 2007

Story About Tucker From Facebook.com

The story below was copied from a Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.

Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand

Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!

Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.

In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.

15,917 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Hunting gets your dwarfs up to legendary in marksdwarf really fast. When they get up there in skill they're spitting out the crossbow bolts like they're carrying a repeater or something.

REQUEST COULD NOT BE PROCESSED? THIS CALLS FOR A DWARF PROCESSOR

Anonymous said...

this blog is unnecessary. i'm not saying it's in anyway wrong or unjustified... but it's like if comedy central were to roast him. tucker max isn't infamous: because it contains the word "famous". no one knows who the fuck he is. he just ... doesn't matter (in the large scope of things).

Nicey said...

http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/weekly/thisweek.php

Hahahahahahahahah. Who was saying it sold 70,000 units in the first week? Nope.

GForce was the lowest on the list with 24k. So they didn't even sell that. Goodbye Tucks.

Anonymous said...

I was estimating 70k in two weeks. Even with my generous assessment, Tucker failed.

Anonymous said...

CALM down. 24,000 dvds is for ONE WEEK. In a month that's a 100,000 dvds. It will hit the 1,000,000 mark in less then a year

sorry fags

Anonymous said...

Where does it say he sold 24k dvds?

I thought it was just assumed it was 2.4 billion dvds.

I think everyone has 4 copies per pubic hair.

Anonymous said...

I heard that he sold OVER 9000 in the first hour it went on sale.

Anonymous said...

Lisa G takes shits at work.


Hi, I'm Scoresman, how are you?

Anonymous said...

@8:39

It's not going to sell 24k DVDs a week for the next 10 months reaching 1 million DVDs.

All the Tugger fags bought it the first week and sales will steadily drop each week. He'll be lucky to sell 250,000 in a year.

Get back on your knees and keep sucking off your idol like the other Tugger fags. You're all losers.

Anonymous said...

All we really know is that Tucker sold less than 24k DVD's in the first week, which is usually the best week because it includes purchases for rental. He could have sold as few as 1,000, but we know he didn't sell 24k--otherwise he would have topped that art film starring talking gerbils. Absent any promotion, it has zero chance of ever equaling whatever dismal sales it had the first week. If he sells more than 60k DVDs ever, I would be very surprised.

Anonymous said...

"Hunting gets your dwarfs up to legendary in marksdwarf really fast. When they get up there in skill they're spitting out the crossbow bolts like they're carrying a repeater or something.'

Is this the new Rudius Crossbow business plan?

Anonymous said...

my tits are STILL more awesome than heidi's...suckassss

Anonymous said...

Still not seeing pics, sagbags.

Anonymous said...

Tucker missed 2009 Christmas Season, but his DVD will be on the shelves for 2010 Christmas season. You haterz also forget that sales grow for classic indie movies over time, not decline. Tucker will pass 2 million in DVD sales for the year.

The best part is that Tucker made a movie and sold one of the longest running best sellers in history! Tucker wins again!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, #940 and still sliding like a mop across a shit-strewn hotel lobby - guess Tibor's gonna hit four-figure sales after all, once the crapulent article hits #1000 WITHIN FIVE WEEKS OF FUCKING RELEASE.

the Deconstruction Guy said...

I stand by my prior prediction:

This movie will sell less than 20000 copies TOTAL.

Anonymous said...

Butbutbutbutbut TUcker said -

Anonymous said...

The sequel has just been greenlit. Tucker sent an email out to the crew about an hour ago claiming that they have secured financing, that the entire leading cast will return, and they will begin shooting in Shreveport in June, hoping for a Memorial Day 2011 release.

Anonymous said...

^ direct neural feed from tucker's fevered and increasingly disconnected brain

SCIENCE! IS THERE NOTHING IT CAN'T DO?

Anonymous said...

Hey boys and girls! Do you know what time it is? That's right! It's time for the STEAMSHOVEL HARRY SONG!

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Nicey said...

Still no comments on DVD sales from asshat?

Anonymous said...

Ninjapirate.com is the latest to review Tucker's movie:

http://ninjapirate.com/article/hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-review

Anonymous said...

the new message board has just been greenlit. tucker has sent out an email to all his loyal moderators requesting their return. he was very polite and suggested a criticism section to be the main board. the movie was also quite good, and will be looked at historically as a success. tucker hasn't cried once this week and totally left LA as a conqueror, not as a failure.

everything is looking good. he has more pussies than he has dicks, etc.

Anonymous said...

the new message board has just been greenlit. tucker has sent out an email to all his loyal moderators requesting their return. he was very polite and suggested a criticism section to be the main board. the movie was also quite good, and will be looked at historically as a success. tucker hasn't cried once this week and totally left LA as a conqueror, not as a failure.

everything is looking good. he has more pussies than he has dicks, etc.

Anonymous said...

How come MarineGuy doesn't post here anymore?

Good blog, I reckon.

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Anonymous said...

Tucker, please come back into the public eye! We miss you! Our whole raison d'etre is gone now that you've failed utterly!

-- The Haters

Anonymous said...

Here's a prediction:

Tucker never mentions the movie or DVD again. It's all about his new huge hit book that's 3 years overdue because it's so fucking awesome!!!!

Anonymous said...

I still love the interview where he says he sold 1,500,000 books are could retire for the rest of his life if he wanted to.

Yeah Tucker, that's why you rented a one bedroom apartment in downtown Austin. Worse, you rented a fucking dump.

Keep the lies coming, these mean people aren't laughing at you!

Anonymous said...

BRING DA AMBER LAMPS

Anonymous said...

BRING DA AMBER LAMPS

Anonymous said...

BRING DA AMBER LAMPS

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BRING DA AMBER LAMPS

Anonymous said...

steve langford's mother is a cunt

Anonymous said...

Anonymous's mother is a cunt.

Anonymous said...

anonymous has a crush on steve langford's mother

Anonymous said...

where is tucker living now?

Anonymous said...

^^IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER

Anonymous said...

^^^ Is he eating a steady diet of government cheese?

Anonymous said...

The Feb. 7th DVD Sales are up. http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/weekly/thisweek.php

No sign of Beer in Hell in the top 30 again.

TuckerMaxFail

He had better hope his book does well, otherwise he will only be employable to sweep the floors in the Austin bars he frequents. And that will make it difficult for him to continue being a freshman collage chick magnet (aside from the fact that he could be their father).

Nicey said...

http://flisted.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/tucker-max-protested-1.jpg

I had never seen this one either. That's not Jesse Bradford right there is it?

Anonymous said...

i bought teh book, the movie, and the dvd. and then tucker had sex with my girlfriend. and then he sued me because he is an awesome lawyer. and then he palmed a basketball and slam dunked on my face. and then he left hollywood, triumphant. on his private jet.

Anonymous said...

I will be in Austin in a week or so and I will be on the lookout for a poorly dressed short guy with small hands and a lisp.

I wonder what d list celebrity I can confuse him with when I try to get his autograph?

Anonymous said...

i had sex with tucker max's gf and she said he had a small penis. discuss.

Anonymous said...

Ryan Holiday's a good-lookin' dude. Here's my proof:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3087/3257935044_641b74d06d_b.jpg

Anonymous said...

Ukrainian girls are sexy.

SEXXXXxXxXxXY.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, is this wonderful wonderful thread all borked n stuff again?

Anonymous said...

Sultry ukrainian girls!

Anonymous said...

i have betaen the shit out of tucker max, fat geeky faggot ian, and fat geeky faggot nils on many occasions. i constantly beatthem up and take their lunch money. i r bully

Anonymous said...

i have betaen the shit out of tucker max, fat geeky faggot ian, and fat geeky faggot nils on many occasions. i constantly beatthem up and take their lunch money. i r bully

Anonymous said...

Why?

Anonymous said...

Why not?

Anonymous said...

tucker is a cunt.

Anonymous said...

nils is fat.

Anonymous said...

Bunny is a whore.

Anonymous said...

this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.

Anonymous said...

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT THE UKRAINIAN GIRLS

Anonymous said...

Sales Rank # 1,159 in Movies & TV as of 3.4.10. I know I am not as smart at Tugger or as fat as Nils but that doesn't seem to be a very good ranking.

Maybe he should produce them on Laser Disk, that would be waaaay ahead of its time !

Anonymous said...

Why?

Anonymous said...

Tucker had best buy some movies from Amazon. Oh wait, his credit cards are "Maxed" out.

Beer in Hell is now at #1,427, and falling like a recylcled Wedding Crashers diarrhea joke.

Anonymous said...

You know what's funny? Dwarves on fire. That's funny.

Anonymous said...

"You know what's funny? Dwarves on fire. That's funny."

I agree. That is pretty fucking funny.

Anonymous said...

Thank god this piece of shit place has finally died.

Anonymous said...

Tucker bleeds every month.

Anonymous said...

Why?

Anonymous said...

I'm Tucker Max. I failed to pass the bar so I decided to fail in hollywood as a backup. Next stop, archery range.

do not email the academy awards about this movie, people

Anonymous said...

I'm Tucker Max. I failed to pass the bar so I decided to fail in hollywood as a backup. Next stop, archery range.

do not email the academy awards about this movie, people

Anonymous said...

all joking aside, an oscar nomination is not completely out of the question. with internet buzz and blogger hype, including tucker's many twitter followers, a nomination is very possible. he probably wont win, but will get nominated. just kidding. the movie sucked. he's deader than a seaworld trainer

Anonymous said...

all joking aside, an oscar nomination is not completely out of the question. with internet buzz and blogger hype, including tucker's many twitter followers, a nomination is very possible. he probably wont win, but will get nominated. just kidding. the movie sucked. he's deader than a seaworld trainer

Anonymous said...

Suck it haters. This thread is deader than shit and Tucker is still going strong. Face it, you lost. Adios hater-fags have a nice life losers.

Anonymous said...

still bored

Anonymous said...

Tucker's DVD has sold less than 20K total units.

Anonymous said...

6:51, how is Tucker still "going strong"? Movie failed, he's living in some cowshit Midwestern town coasting on his glory days in an attempt to impress disgusting bar skanks...call me crazy, but that doesn't really seem like he's "going strong".

Anonymous said...

12:00 PM, the "tucker's going strong" guy is just fucking with you. he's the same guy who keeps talking about how tucker's DVD is selling well.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it. Didn't David Zuckerman utter the words "Oscar" and "Screenplay" to Tucker and Nils?

That renegging son of a bitch. Beer in Hell wasn't even nominated! Spraying diarrhea in a hotel lobby is ingenius! Instead they gave Best Adapted Screenplay to some movie that features a fat black chick who steals a bucket of chicken after getting knocked up a couple of times. I mean yeah, that could be funny, but it's not Tucker Max funny.

Anonymous said...

What flopped worse this year, Tucker's movie or Heidi Montag's cd?

Anonymous said...

The authoritative answer, it is tempting...

Anonymous said...

Today's Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,599 in Movies & TV.

I wonder if his next "book" will ever be published or if it will end up in some publisher's circular file cabinet ?

Anonymous said...

^^^
What? You don't think the world is waiting to read Tucker's blame-fest, on why a movie that grossed $1.5 million failed?

Amazon has had advance publication dates for AFF in the past, only to have them revised repeatedly. My guess is that Tuck has nothing going on in his life, and has a major beef with everyone that ruined the certain commercial success of Beer in Hell. He might actually make the deadline, though it would not surprise me if Simon Spotlight once again rejects the manuscript.

Of course I'm assuming that AFF will be a diatribe about a failed movie. If he sticks to his original plan and publishes AFF as a "dirty collection of twenty-five true tales of sex, girls, and wildly entertaining depravity" then he may well miss the deadline or have the manuscript returned as unacceptable (again). I think this is his last chance... if he fucks this up he'll be effectively banned from the movie, television and publishing industries... a trifecta for the Maxhole.

Anonymous said...

"Beer in Hell" (the book) fell off the NY Times supplemental "Paperback nonfiction" bestseller list:

http://www.mercurynews.com/search/ci_14500543?IADID=Search-www.mercurynews.com-www.mercurynews.com

Anonymous said...

fail?

Anonymous said...

not just fail. Tucker Max Fail for the win, bitches!

Anonymous said...

Why?

Anonymous said...

Tucker will not finish AFF because he doesn't have the work ethic for it. ITSBY the book he didn't have to work on because he just assembled all the bullcrap he'd been telling the people he thought were his friends so it was pretty much done before he even noticed there was actual work to do - the proof of this is in the difference between the self-published version ("debauchery and " some word I don't remember, " the Tucker Max Stories") and ITSBY, and there was essentially nothing worthwhile added to ITSBY. ITSBY the movie also is clear evidence, nobody actually sat down and WORKED at that script, it was something he sort of squeezed out in between beers over a few afternoons, and then Nils touched it up as best he could, and then Tucker talked about how hard working is.

Tucker doesn't know how to sit down and focus on something. AFF, even as a "I hate everybody and it's everybody's fault but mine" tract, will never exist.

Anonymous said...

Tru dat! Now, who would like to write some Bunny / Tucker / Nils fanfic?

Anonymous said...

He just comes off as SUCH a douchebag in that video. What a classless idiot.

Anonymous said...

My favorite are the "Tucker will hit a home run on a sequel" people.

Anonymous said...

I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement

Anonymous said...

Poop

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Anonymous said...

um wtf happened to this comments section? it's all fucked up

Anonymous said...

Too many comments son.

Anonymous said...

Obama is a radical anti-American. He wants to reduce the place to a third-world country via the post-industrial, post-service industry, post-sovereignty pathways. He understands that health care isn’t health care, but does not see it, as Mark Steyn suggests, as just the next stage of social-democratic government. Obama understands it as a mountain slide that will come down on a country that he is intentionally bankrupting. He hasn’t been trying to stimulate the economy. He’s doing all that he can to break it. He wants America broken, and he had to fool a lot of fools to get in a position to do that. And he’s still fooling them.

Obama is not worried that the American economy is slow to recover; he’s worried that it will recover. And he is doing everything conceivable to see that it doesn’t. Adding an unaffordable entitlement to already bankrupt entitlements; making energy unaffordable; raising taxes; harassing business; growing government while the economy shrinks; shrinking the economy while government grows; and most important of all, draining the wealth out of the middle class. Squeezing the last savings and remaining asset value out of them. He has the public employee unions living large in lean times, and their mission, from his point of view, is to scavenge whatever meat remains from the bones. It’s not for nothing that he has his buddy Andy Stern over to the White House so often.

Even the face value meaning of his actions is missed because it cannot be grasped through the normative terms of American politics. But all of it is right there in plain sight. He is using the Presidency and the Congress to wage war against America. That is the meaning of everything that is right there in front of everyone.

Anonymous said...

epic

Anonymous said...

whats teh difference between heidi montag and tucker max? heidi montag is famous.

do not email the oscar awards about this, people.

Anonymous said...

Why

Anonymous said...

Why?

Anonymous said...

"Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,155 in Movies & TV."

Like a stone.

Anonymous said...

niggers niggers niggers.

Anonymous said...

Excuse, that I interrupt you, but I suggest to go another by.

Anonymous said...

^ "Nikolas":

Come on Tucker, we all know that's you - your latest 'net venture no doubt, along with a virtual crossbow range...

Don't worry, us people won't email you about this.

Anonymous said...

x

Anonymous said...

Who's gonna keep them Mexicans out?

Anonymous said...

Remember: you can't eat gold.

Dwarfy McDwarfenstein said...

Gold?

Gold!

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Anonymous said...

3/15/2010 7:55 AM

"Come on Tucker, we all know that's you - your latest 'net venture no doubt, along with a virtual crossbow range...

Don't worry, us people won't email you about this."


Reading this made clicking all of the broken links to get to this comment page worth it. Good stuff.

Anonymous said...

KTAT

Anonymous said...

poop

Anonymous said...

almost 3 years old!!!!

Anonymous said...

Why?

Anonymous said...

this blog used to be FUN, goddammit...

--posessor of better boobs than Heidi Montag's

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Anonymous said...

then post boobpix and make it funner WHICH YOU STILL HAVE NOT DONE

Anonymous said...

Dear Friend:

My name is Dave Rhodes.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dave Rhodes:

I am not your friend.

Anonymous said...

tucker still gets hammered on imdb and gawker

Anonymous said...

Tucker, you a bitch. Mmm-mmm-mmmm, I can smell the bitch on you. That's vintage bitch, right there.

Anonymous said...

boo hoo
imdb is active with interesting posts
and here is just chinaman spam
boo hoo
i am lonely here
i want people here so i can post stupid crap and have people read it
i want attention
boo hoo

ps i am not tucker
pps i am not erin leigh tyler
ppps i am not ryan holiday
pppps i am not nils
ppppps nils is fat

Anonymous said...

Word from the inner circle says that Tucker Max had unprotected sex with Bombshell McGee in the men's bathroom at the White Horse Bar in Los Angeles.

Anonymous said...

Someone here is famous...Cockly's made the news. Google "Justin Massler".

Anonymous said...

hmm

http://www.blogger.com/profile/9081728

admitting to the crime in your blogger profile seems like not a smart move

Good ol' Cloud

Anonymous said...

Do we know for sure that Cloud is Cockly?

Anonymous said...

Actually I think it's pretty clear he's not. The Ivanka blog is really over the top, a lot like the Cloud Starchaser blog was. Cockly was more of a vindictive rumormonger. If Justin had been doing something like this he wouldn't have limited himself to vaguely plausible claims.

Anonymous said...

^^^ WTF Mate?

Anonymous said...

Nils is skinny?

Caitlin said...

Hey, you guys. I met BJ Novak at a party on Saturday night and asked about his character on The Office reading I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. He said it was meant to underline what a douche the character is, and that people who would misinterpret the reference to Tucker Max as positive/flattering are stupid anyway, so fuck them. If you want more details I wrote about it on my blog, it's about halfway down through the post:
http://acerbicbubblegum.blogspot.com/2010/03/dear-diary.html

XOXO

- Cute Feminist

Anonymous said...

Tik Tok.

Anonymous said...

Nils is one fat fucker.

Anonymous said...

SARAH PALIN ROXXORZ

WE LUVS SARAH

Anonymous said...

3/22/2010 4:26 PM

"Tik Tok"

Cwc Tok.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V1gEjtmm9M

Anonymous said...

awesome

Anonymous said...

Now, now, now now now, now now now now now now now

Is there a way to get the soundtrack without the idiot and his ~words~?

Anonymous said...

by soundtrack i mean music

Anonymous said...

Ann Coulter made a speech in Canada where she made an offhand reference to "whatever poor Heidi Montag has done to herself this week".

Therefore:

a) Ann Coulter is right

OR

b) Heidi Montag is magnificent monument to boobliness

PICK ONE

Also, Audrina Partridge. BOOBLINESS IS CONTAGIOUS

Anonymous said...

you fuck sticks. why is tucker such a fag. i mean really its not that hard to not be a douche. what a douche.

Anonymous said...

3/23/2010 8:13 AM

"Is there a way to get the soundtrack without the idiot and his ~words~?"

Do you mean the instrumental version of that stupid cunt Ke$ha's song, or what?

Anonymous said...

http://rapidshare.com/files/367600776/ke_ha-_tik_tok__instrumental__.mp3.html

Anonymous said...

yes thank you that was what i wanted you are good person anonymous may spirits of nontuckerness bless you and grant you long life and mighty orgasms

Anonymous said...

and we kick them to the curb unless they look like nils parker.

Anonymous said...

cute feminist is such a hipster. nils parker would eat you for fucking breakfast. literally. he literally would eat your human body as if it were food. he is fat.

Anonymous said...

hipsters are scumbags, pass it on

Anonymous said...

8:13 post makes me think of the three pics that get reposted regularly on 4chan of the little japanese schoolgirl with her miniskirt and the gigantic blob of nakedfatman lying on top of her and presumably engaging in something sexual

sometimes i think the japanese misplaced the do not enter and wrong way roadsigns for imaginationland a long time ago

other times i think they are just more honest with themselves about what it means to let non-civilized races have free access to your women

Anonymous said...

"My house, get it RIGHT GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING SKULLS!

And God and the Bear...

You better get all that stuff off of there!

I don't know where to go! Go to go to go go!"


Thank you for the new ringtone, anonymous! I knew there was a reason that I still lurk this mostly dead board.

Anonymous said...

i wnat read thread but it say click register i no wnat register not pay fix back maek worky plz FORUM NO WORKY 2 READ

Anonymous said...

tucker max's fanboys are back on wikipedia removing all traces of tucker's full name "tucker tibor max". apparently tucker doesnt want people knowing his middle name is tibor, so he has instructed people to remove it from his wikipedia. lets get on it people! let's show that tibor fuckface

Anonymous said...

His fanboys are deleting reference to "Tibor"? Why? That douchebag has mentioned his middle name numerous times in the past and even posted an image of his driver's license at one time. Someone should post an image of his driver's license somewhere if they can find it.

Anonymous said...

Here is Tugger's driver's license: http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/images/license.jpg

Anonymous said...

tibor hahahahaha TIBOR TIBOR TIBOR

Anonymous said...

THOR! GOD OF THUNDER

Anonymous said...

why is Nils's wiki page deleted? was he too fat to fit on a computer screen?

and why does "tibor" need to be removed from his wiki page, what is wrong with that as a middle name?

Anonymous said...

otto tibor max

Anonymous said...

I went to unitervisy what lerned me the good.

Anonymous said...

Smart whites don't let other whites marry blacks

Anonymous said...

Tucker you fucking failure, do something... Nowadays you're no better than Mini Skirt (aka "Kung Fu") Mike, your faggot friend who lost a fight to Justin Massler.

Anonymous said...

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/the-most-obnoxious-woman-in-the-world/

Just think: in 20 years, this is what Cute Feminist will be reduced to

Anonymous said...

Tucker's kicking ass and taking names in the UK! Word of mouth is totally different in England so the movie should take off any minute now. Here's the opening weekend report:

"The industry view that the Motherhood theatrical failure drew disproportionate media attention may be validated by the opening result this weekend for I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. This laddish comedy likewise opened with one showtime per day at a single London cinema, in advance of an imminent DVD release (on 19 April) – in this instance targeting The Hangover audience. Friday night was a private screening for competition winners only, and the figure we have for the rest of the weekend is £54."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2010/mar/30/uk-box-office-nanny-mcphee

Anonymous said...

the english just don't get quality american humor

stupid redcoats

the french'll like tucker's movie! because it's so sophisticated! and the french like sophisticated highbrow humor! which is what tucker made! because he's such an awesome filmmaker! yeah!

hey, what happened to whatsisface the junior douchebag guy who was retelling the story of the tour in exhaustingly endless detail

Anonymous said...

griffin rights

wriffin gripes

griff in wipes

g... y'know what, nvm

Anonymous said...

Movie made £54 opening weekend in the UK.

http://www.ukfilmcouncil.org.uk/article/16666/UK-Box-Office-26---28-March-2010

Anonymous said...

Ukrainian girls are cute and sexy

Anonymous said...

Ran into Marnie the other day...I'd hit it

Anonymous said...

roissy is a DOUUUUUCHEEEEE

Anonymous said...

Yes, but unlike Tucker, he's good at it.

Anonymous said...

Not to worry, you have very little left to learn about being a douchebag

Anonymous said...

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/04/03/2010-04-03_alleged_ivanka_trump_stalker_justin_massler_also_targeted_i_hope_they_serve_beer.html

"Before Trump, there was Tucker."

Great picture there, Tugger. Your gray hair and bad teeth are so sexy.

Anonymous said...

£54? That's like $50 million in American dollars, right?

Anonymous said...

Someone just posted the video of Tucker Max and Cloud Starchaser arguing outside of the bar from years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1NWe48BqrM

Interesting how in the news report Tucker Max claims Cloud showed up randomly uninvited and was thrown out of the bar but it's clear from the video he knew he was coming since they were arguing about the bet contract and he never even goes in the bar at all.

Tucker Max lies again.

Anonymous said...

Ryan holiday has a new troll on wikipedia named bryanholiday. His wikipedia userpage says bryan holiday's in PR and lives in LA. nice. good work, Bryan. I wonder if ryan holiday still gets paid by american apparel?

Anonymous said...

Nice to see that Tucker called the New York Daily News and fed them that story, only place it could have come from. Guess he'll do anything to try and stay in the limelight, even piggy-backing on D-list celebrity stalking victims. And you can bet it eats Tucker alive that, thanks to the Ivanka stalking, more people know who Justin Massler is than do Tucker.

Anonymous said...

tucker is twittering all about the justin massler/cloud starchaser story. who would have thought tucker would have to be a parasite off a stalker's fame?

Anonymous said...

invaka or whatever her name is is is kinda cute

but in an artificial too much makeup way

not like ukrainiangirls

cloud starchaser shoud've gone east, young man

Anonymous said...

Heidi Montag can't hug people because her boobs might fall off or something.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/05/heidi-montags-plastic-sur_n_525760.html

Ukrainian girls, however, don't have that problem!

Anonymous said...

I think it is great that Sucker Tax needs someone who is mentally unstable to help him in his quest for douchieness. I remember when all of that happened and how he was so "above" ole Cloud. I bet more people have heard of him that Sir Douchelot.

Anonymous said...

http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/2009/BNDS2-DVD.php

Troy Duffy moving toward 1,000,000 units sold.

The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day - DVD Sales
DVD Sales Performance
Released on DVD: March 9, 2010
DVD Units Sold: 839,237
Consumer Spending: $14,994,630
See full information for The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Anonymous said...

Yeah, ironic that Justin Massler is now more newsworthy than Tucker. He began this blog . . . perhaps if you hadn't turned out to be such a failure and goofball, Tucker, Invanka would remain unstalked.

All of Cloud / Justin's blogs and websites seem to have been deleted but they're a fascinating look at worsening mental illness and you can find them cached:

http://web.archive.org/web/20051215073133/http://www.heroicdestinysquad.com/justinmassler/blog/

Anonymous said...

BATMAN!

Hell yeah. Cloud Starchaser: BATMAN! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BAAAATMAAAAAN!!!! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BAAAATMAAAAAN!!!!

OF COURSE he compares himself to - BATMAN! Cause he's CLOUD STARCHASER and that means he's BATMAN!

Best Batman:
http://www.pvponline.com/my-parents-are-dead/

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BAAAATMAAAAAN!!!!

Anonymous said...

CLOUD STARCHASER is NOT A CREEP.

He is a MODERN SUPER-HERO and he RESCUES people by DRINKING BEER and ROCKING OUT.

He also has a better grasp of reality than Exam Truck. I mean Tibor. I mean Otto.

Anonymous said...

I realized the moment I fell into the fissure that the book would not be destroyed as I had planned. It continued falling into that starry expanse, of which I had only a fleeting glimpse. I have tried to speculate where it might have landed; I must admit, however, such conjecture is futile. Still, questions about whose hands might one day hold my Myst book are unsettling to me. I know my apprehensions might never be allayed, and so I close, realizing that, perhaps, the ending has not yet been written.

Anonymous said...

COCK

Anonymous said...

BOOBS

Anonymous said...

COCKBOOBS

Anonymous said...

BOOBCOCK

Anonymous said...

OW MAH BALLS

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max - breaking box office records!

Seriously, a £54 UK opening weekend? Worst. Performance. Ever.

(That's one for the old TMMB crowd).

Anonymous said...

Hey, 54 pounds is really 83 US dollars !

Anonymous said...

I work as an intellectual property attorney. I don't pirate music, software or videos and (usually unsuccessfully) try to persuade friends not to pirate these items.

Last night a friend called and said he was downloading IHTSBIH from a bittorrent site.

First time in my life I ever refrained from saying "don't do that!"

Anonymous said...

I didn't think "Beer in Hell" was available via bit torrent. Not that many would ever download that piece of shit. What a waste of bandwidth.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry this is the stupidest thing i've ever fuckin heard. If your going to criticize him and his BS stories at least do so with something that doesn't look like it was written by a 15 year old girl as angry fan fiction.

Anonymous said...

GUY TWO CUBES OVER: Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

ME (silently, because making an issue of something like this is a good way to get referred to HR for "mediation" and brainwashing): Hey, GUY TWO CUBES OVER, shut up.

Anonymous said...

GUY TWO CUBES OVER: (shuts up)

Anonymous said...

I saw Trixie last night...fucking gross

Anonymous said...

You know what's cool? Jesus. Jesus is totally cool.

Cockly McBeefwell said...

I am not Justin Massler or Cloud Starchaser, or whatever the hell his name is. I always thought that Massler was just joking around when he contacted Tucuke Max a few years ago, but I guess that Massler really is one fucked-up weirdo.

Anonymous said...

Remember how the Tucker Tard Brigade reacted to Massler? They mocked the mentally ill lad mercilessly, and the whole affair culminated with Tucker and Massler making a bet that the last one to get a TV deal would undergo castration. But Tucker later renegaded on this bet.

Anonymous said...

it's spelled reneged

and pronounced "re-negged"

to renege: backing off from an agreement
renegade: rebel

although tucker is such a cool renegade and doesn't afraid of anything

he even renegaded against making a movie that makes money

Anonymous said...

And when black people do it? Is that re-nigged?

Anonymous said...

Hey, did you hear the one about the guy who shot himself because someone called him a racist?

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