The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 14201 – 14400 of 15917 Newer› Newest»My apologies to Conrad, Coppola, Brando, Hopper & Gibson.
That was fun. And Cathartic.
To Quote Daniel Plainview: "I'm Done!"
IFTB
IFTBAHSATF
Glorious, simply glorious.
Well done, sir!
that was a scary read. the most horrifying thing is that tucker's reality is worse. it's just too bad that tucker's bandwidth bill can't be paid by the sweet tears of a law school drop out.
IFTB:
That may be the funniest thing ever posted on this site.
Wow.
Simply fucking wow.
If you get a call from someone 5'8 & his 400lb partner wanting to chat about a screenplay collaboration, RUN.
Excellent work, but you forgot to thank T.S. Eliot.
-Grant
And Rudyard Kipling.
-Grant
Scuzzy flavor.
...and his father weeps at the thought of what could have been avoided if he'd have just pulled out of that Stewardess...
He spawned the biggest joke on the interwebs! Bravo, Dennis, bravo.
Sad how much the mods at TiB still worship Tucker. Battered woman syndrome, I guess.
Shegirl is my favorite mod. She's HILARIOUS and I bet she's extremely cute in real life. I think she's 22 years old.
Idiot...SheGirl is 5'10", fat, and a butter-face. She will tell you herself. Plus, I think she's almost 40. Jerk off to bunny; she was at least cute at one time.
bunny was never cute. she had a picture or two that were taken from fortunate angles, but she looks nothing like those pics in reality. she's 160 lbs
And Philalawyer is no more.
Zip!-pitty-doo-DAH!
Zip!-pitty-DAY!
Shegirl is a dumb cunt.
She writes like a special needs child.
And she's my favorite mod... to kick in the vagina.
I just like Shegirl's jokes. She makes me laugh to tears at least once per day. Who doesn't find countless 80's references and flirting funny? heeheehee
As the author of the original 6-part Tucker Max interview from last year, I must say the ApocaLisp Now story posted a dozen or so entries above is pure genius.
Tucker has to get a kick out of this shit.
There are probably forty to fifty posts within the nearly 15000 here that are worthy of their own book collection.
Who here thinks they would make a good book idea if presented with the proper introduction chapter retelling the Tucker Max story in factual terms?
Titles?
Bufthsects, Lies and Videotape ?
From Here To Fraternity ?
The Fall of the Internet Playboi Millionaires ?
Some info about the Rudius crash:
http://www.attentioncrash.net/shrinktalk.net/?p=374
Just more evidence that Tucker isn't generating much revenue off of his site.
"Nils, you fucking boxhead, run into the wall three times now!"
is one of my all time favorite lines, fyi
"also, tucker says the movie is inaccurate as hitler is only about 5'8 and tucker's 6'2"
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3184121584/in/set-72157605834204363/
Why does Tucker think we don't have the internet? Honestly, it's like he believes people are morons who believe whatever you say.
6'2 huh? Not even on your tippy toes standing on a folded up mat.
How can someone be a fat butterface?
Whoever posted this comment on Ryan's blog is brilliant:
"Ahahahahahahaha....FAIL, dog."
Ha! I feel so vindicated. I knew years ago that the Rudius Media business model was doomed to fail. They finally realized it too, but too late!
And poof...the sward is broken....Starting shortly, this site will quickly redirect you to a temporary site, www.Philalaw.wordpress.com (www.Philalawyer.wordpress.com was taken). This temporary portal will allow me to maintain contact with readers during the interim period between the closing of Rudius Media, scheduled for November 4, and the moment the Philalawyer.net site is back up and running on its new server.
"How can someone be a fat butterface?"
The extent of her fatness is less objectionable than the extent of her butterfaceness, clearly.
Which means her face must really be something to see. Or avoid seeing, as the case may be.
Random Tucker tweet:
"Being famous is so weird. Delivery guy asked for my autograph, then wanted to see my bedroom. 'Wanna see where history is made.' WTF?"
How endearing.
And keep in mind that butterfaces exist from stuffing their faces with too much butter.
"How endearing."
How imaginary.
"How imaginary"
Yes, much better.
Have you noticed that Tucker's book suddenly climbs back onto the charts at times when he's doing his worst fails? Last time it was when that TV show folded, now suddenly he's catapulted to Number One when his movie is going completely unseen.
Betcha a box of Krispy Kremes that he himself is buying copies of the book each year -- in bulk to sell on the website, and that is what puts him on the bestseller lists.
Is it really asking for an autograph to have someone sign a receipt? Because, if so, a LOT of deliverymen have asked for my autograph as well.
Aetius is the best mod ever!
^^^ No dude, Blue Dog is way funnier. LOL
TiB IS BETTER THAN FREAK SAFARI!!
^^^ FUCK YOU BITCH! FS KICKS TiB'S CANDY ASS!!
Well it's been fun here but it looks like this is it for a while at least. This board has been very entertaining and I will be sure to tune in again when I next hear of Tucker.
I really hope that VIACOM/Marine Guy/mccoymountain got some professional help in the end.
Fuck off, man. Freak Safari contains a bunch of huge fucking losers that started a tiny circle jerk message board with no funny jokes to speak of. They all giggle like those dorks in school that spend their lunch hours under the stairs.
"hahaha retards are funny."
"OMG I made a Michael J. Fox joke."
"LOL fat people are fat."
TiB contains the best of the best the RMMB had to offer. Once we got the old mods out of the way, all the funny was let loose. The new mods are hilarious, and everybody appreciates them.
If you need further proof, just look at the two places Alexa ratings. PWND
LOL! I don't know any of these mods or names, LOL. I don't read the Idiot Board, and I didn't read it when it was on RMMB! LOL! But they're all funny, and I like talking about how funny they are! LOL
mail me at my AOLOL electronic e-mail mailbox address if you have any good tips about funny mods
FAT CHIX AINT PPL
BAN FAT CHIX
This is becoming the "fucking with people for its own sake" thread.
Hey man, there's a reason why they call it "the IDIOT board," OK? Freaks > idiots.
Bitch.
Tucker Max is a Zionist Kike.
Tucker Kike is a Max Zionist.
Tucker Kike is a Zionist Max.
Bill Dawes' stand up isn't funny
everything about tucker is a fundamental lie. he was never in a fraternity, but he's 35 and he acts like he still is. claims to be 6'0, which is outrageous. failed out of basic training, but wrote about being in the special forces. etc. etc. etc.
funny comment from above: "Why does Tucker think we don't have the internet? "
tucker is rapidly approaching age 40. is he going to take on the persona of a high school football player next?
@9:25 hero
I'm getting sick of reading those comments that are clearly mods of theirrelevantboard trying to woo new posters.
Also, thumbs up to last page poster who wrote about Tucker not thinkin we have internet. Hilarious. So ditto to guy above me who said same hing.
8:34 AM, it's obvious that Tucker is periodically dispatching his underlings to select book stores to buy up their available stock of IHTSBIH, which he then re-sells through his website; he runs out of books, the book "magically" jumps up in the rankings as a few hundred additional copies are purchased. No question that airports are his bread-and-butter. The book's Amazon ranking, on the other hand, is garbage, which indicates extremely poor word-of-mouth. This is what Tucker fails to understand; his egotism misleads him to believe that anybody who buys his book will automatically become a huge fan because the material is just that compelling. In actuality, the majority of his readers are indifferent to his "art."
"failed out of basic training, but wrote about being in the special forces."
Can you confirm either of these without conjecture? Particularly the first part.
Tucker's book does well during 2 months when it spikes. Those months are September and January. Why? It's when kids are buying books at college and the book stores put IHTSBIH up near the register for IMPULSE BUYS.
Hot from the presses: new story from AFF:
So it's like Wednesday night and I'm out at a bar, cuz like I don't hafta work n shit... so awesome. Anyway, I'm on like Heineken # 50, and I'm makin' funna one of my bros 'cause he's only on # 48, like a total pussy, and in walks like a river... nah dude, lol, like a fuckin' SEA of hot, midget pussy. It's like i'm swimmin' in the shallow end of the pool (LOL GET IT?! CUZ THEYRE MIDGETS LOL!!!!111!!1ONE!!1), and so I'm throwin' out like my fuckin C game, and manage to pull like 900 of them. So they all hop on their scooters and i'm like drunk scootering back to my apartment to where we engauge in like fuckin intercourse n shit -- (to clarify I'm stickin my penis in vaginas and stuff). Then like I come n shit while the girls want more but fuck them skanks, and i had no other use for 'em so now theyre proppin up my tables around the house! DISRESPECTING MIDGETS FIVE, BITCHES!
check out how tucker makes himself seem 6 feet tall:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3184121584/in/set-72157605834204363/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3183286279/in/set-72157605834204363/
what a lying, hyping douchebag
"I really hope that VIACOM/Marine Guy/mccoymountain got some professional help in the end."
Yes--because Tucker's secretive tapings of buttsex are normal, just like his girlfriends and bunny, and fighting/living for one's country is not. Yes--and Nils is the perfect specimen of fitness, and Tucker of mathculinity; funded by CBS Corporation, as they recreate the world in their own image.
hah ahahahaha ahahahah!!!!
"check out how tucker makes himself seem 6 feet tall:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3184121584/in/set-72157605834204363/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3183286279/in/set-72157605834204363/
what a lying, hyping douchebag"
hahahahahah ahahahah! douche!!!
mccoymountain was good for a few laughs but obviously a complete nutcase.
Tucker Max IS 6 feet tall. Trust me. Measured him myself when he was on deployment in [redacted]. People, do NOT email me about this. More later.
So when is Rudius Media going to be mothballed? The Trixie and The Bunny's sites are still up.
Griffin hasn't updated this week. I wonder if he is closing up shop too.
@9:24 AM
Alexa doesn't mean anything, and that other stupid (it really is stupid) idiot board was linked from Tucker's most trafficked spot on his site: his message board. It's down but there are still outgoing links.
You're a moron.
^^^^ Yeah right. How do those sour grapes taste you bitter Freak Safari homo?
TiB hasn't even been around a month and it is already on the verge of breaking the 100,000 alexa ranking barrier. That's insane and speaks to the quality of leadership/funny.
^^^
That's because you know nothing about the internet, websites, or just general common sense.
But it's ok. You'll learn. I can't believe someone has to tell you about hotlinking, but you'll learn.
And for the record I dont go to either message board.
Why the fuck would he post pictures proving he's not 6 feet tall? What a dumb ass.
Y'all forgot to include the "You are so comically clueless" and "You are totally thinking inside the box" and "You'll see, we are doing something completely revolutionary" in your little internet douchetard board rivalry.
Honestly, I don't know why you guys are wasting your time with this. Tucker's movie might have flopped, but it was just a minor setback. He's working on AFF, which will probably get another NY Times Best Seller award, sell a bunch of copies and propel him into the spotlight again. Having this much fervor over him is pointless; he's a talented guy who knows how to market a product.
"he's a talented guy who knows how to market a product."
Is it:
A) The idiot board mod who continues to worship the guy
B) One of us who's just trolling
?
I mean, Tucker himself that the marketing for the movie was a failure.
Goddamn I LOVE being a jackass to complete strangers on the net.
TiB is so popular that it gets an average of about 40 people an hour with almost nobody posting except for the same 15 people, most of them being moderators.
Guys on TiB, your board is lame. I lurked on it, I know friends of mine are on it and guess what? It sucks. It sucks in a way that the TMMB sucked because you no longer have the benefit of having Tucker or his cult of personality around. For the most part you guys are uninteresting and boring. I could care less about Freak Safari or any other message board that Tucker accidentily spawned other then this one.
I understand, you guys were left out in the wilderness and the TMMB was a big part of your social lives. No problem there and wanting to maintain contact with people you've developed friendships with. However, don't make it out to be something it's not. In it's dying days the TMMB was about as boring as a message board could be, and guess what? All those boring people are now on TiB. Your one saving grace is that at least you aren't the dipshit "writer" board that spawned from TMMB.
-TDG
"I could care less about Freak Safari or any other message board that Tucker accidentally spawned other then this one."
That makes 2 of us, TDG.
--hater
"That makes 2 of us, TDG.
--hater"
Wait wait wait wait wait wait... THE hater?
I’m getting off track, as the villain here — and an all time villain at that — is Tucker himself. Now, he of course has surrounded himself with like-minded assholes, but his megalomaniacal paranoia coupled with his tiny intellect make him out to be much, much worse. An asshole of the highest order. Tucker describes Darko records as “Jewish” for not giving them more money (again — $12 million to a "filmmaker who never made a film) and calling them as well as the distributors, producers, director and talent as his “enemy.” Hitler’s brain barely functioned like this.
Normally, I would think, a film such as IHTSBIH would be an indictment of the Hollywood system and all that it promotes, bolsters and upholds. Oddly, weirdly and fantastically, Tucker Max is such a bitch-faced asshole that there is no way I can possibly take his side. Ostensibly he, Tucker, is the “little guy” fighting the giant of Hollywood, yet my natural inclination to root for the underdog goes out the window every time Max opens his bitch-ass, ungrateful mouth. I’m hoping for him to fail, begging for him to get chewed up and spat out, praying on my hands and knees to imaginary sky-gods I don’t believe in for bad things to befall Tucker Max. As my best friend opined after watching IHTSBIH, “What an asshole!!” Obviously, the film to a large degree is more than a little bit of comeuppance from those who got to learn to dislike him over the years. And that is fine by me. The ending shot should have been of Tucker Max, not unlike Troy Duffy — fat, balding, delusional and ruined at thirty-four-years-old standing in front of the bar talking to himself about his next big thing, whatever that may be. You have got to love happy endings.
No, I'm da hater.
tucker is 6'0
tucker is 6'0
"Assholes Finish First" is no longer available for pre-order on Amazon. Looks like it's been shit canned.
The Rudius Empire continues to crumble.
Next up... Tugger is seen greeting customers at Wal Mart.
So much for that UC/Duke Education.
Nils? Still fat.
""Assholes Finish First" is no longer available for pre-order on Amazon. Looks like it's been shit canned."
Yay!
Someone in the publishing industry has some sense!
Yay!
However, Tucker now must find another subject upon which to turn the full power of his scam-selling.
As sad as Tucker is, I really pitty the inner circle. I mean, these dumb fuck mods, girlfriends, co-producers, Darko, Bob...they all saw close up what a turd this guy is. They didn't see this 12mm loss coming? They didn't see Radius closing down? What fucking idiots. They all deserve cancer as much as Tucker and his daddy Dennis does. Fuck them all.
Does anyone know if Tuckers mother still fucks for money? I'm going to KY and I want to get my plans for the weekend set. TYIA.
IHTSBIH....no longer on amazon.com.....
what could it all mean?
you people make me laugh. Get ready for a big surprise.
IHTSBIH....no longer on amazon.com.....
what could it all mean?
you people make me laugh. Get ready for a big surprise.
What a dumb fucking cunt.
IHTSBiH is still on Amazon shithead.
AFF is no longer available for pre order.
The big surprise is that Tugger is deep in debt with no new creative output.
Looks like TM is an asshole who is just finished.
Keep thinking about Tucker.
Keep thinking about Tucker, drunk and face down in the gutter, slowly bleeding to death.
If enough people put it out there, the Universe will make it true.
I am thinking about Tucker with a railroad tie shoved up his ass, so he can be slowly roasted over a bonfire.
Make it so Universe.
I am thinking of Tucker being raped behind a tranny bar by a big post op black dude, who is really overweight, and fucking him with a steel spiked strap on while calling Tugger a racist homophobe who has fat issues.
Oh, wait, make it Nils and not a big black dude.
I am thinking of Tucker realizing what a fool he's been, settling down, reforming his wayward lifestyle, getting a real job, and getting married to a decent girl. Now I'm thinking of him coming home one night to find his wife, raped and murdered by the brother of the girl Tucker vomited on while illegally videotaping himself fucking her.
Come on, universe, karma... whatever you call yourself, let's make this happen.
Tugger probably closed down his message board because he knew that "Assholes Finish First" was going to be pulled and he's trying to conserve cash. Is Tugger going to have to get a real job like the rest of us schmucks? That guy hasn't really ever had a real job, so who would actually hire him?
It's sounds like the failure of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell really fucked his life over! I bet that Katy Johnson has been enjoying this implosion from afar.
Remember when Tugger claimed to have received a $300k advance on his book? So how much of that money (assuming the $300k was legit) did he actually receive and how much does he get to keep if the book really has been pulled?
There is no way in hell Tugger would actually dein to get a "real" job. Whatever happens from now on, he will always be on the fringes of something. Of what, doesn't actually matter much. He will start a new site, or write a new book or become a co-writer in a pathetic late night comedy peice of crap or co-found a "poduction" company that spits out pretentious unfunny piles of vomit ......
He is a loser, but one who will refuse to see it and stumble on blindly overhyping overselling overbullshitting and never, never, gain any insight to his own failings.
This site could go on forever mocking and deconstructing the pathetic life and times of our very own uber-douchbag.
BTW has anyone ever noticed that Nils is not exactly what I would call svelt? I'm just saying.
He didn't get 300K for a book advance. Here's why:
1) 300K would have put Tucker in some rarified air. There wasn't too many bloggers making that much money on a 1st or 2nd book. Jeremie Ruby-Strauss made more, and Ana Marie Cox did get a nice advance on her 2nd book (around 250K). All of those bloggers who got such large advances got it ANNOUNCED IN THE PRESS. The PR that the publishers retain are going to want to hype the book up as much as possible.
Why is it that the only one announcing the "record deal" was Tucker Max himself? His publisher has always announced to the press if they give a large advance to a writer, as it adds prestige to the product. In Tucker's case they did not?
Coincidence or is Tucker over-inflating things again to make himself seem much more desirable?
Think about it for a moment, Simon & Schuster have announced the signing advances of EVERY SINGLE PERSON THEY SIGN FOR OVER 100K YET THEY MADE NO ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST.
Coincidence?
Tugger vs Delivery guy:
Ding Dong
DG: Got a package for (looks at package) Max Tucker
TM: Yeah that's me
DG: Alright, just need your Autograph here...
TM: Being a celebrity is so weird
DG: I get that sometimes, but I'm not the guy in the UPS ad. They hire actors for that stuff.
TM: Would you like to see my bedroom? It's where history is made.
DG: Hahah, I got work to do. Have a good day, Max.
Anybody remember a series of ads a few years back, I think they were hertz or avis. The concept was vaguely recognizable unemployed tv actors/actresses waltzed through life thinking the world revolved around them because they're famous.
The hotel gives out free coffee? I'm a celebrity! Door automatically opens? I'm famous! Delivery guy wants a signature? I'm a famous celebrity!
That's like tugger, except he's not acting and nobody knows who he is.
Book advances are often split up; some money up front, some money when a specific number of pages or chapters are completed, some money when the book is published. Then, you pay back the advance out of your royalties.
Tucker Max is a cool dude who doesn't afraid of not having any money. Using money is just giving in to the SYSTEM and the MAN. Tucker Max is going to implement a revolutionary new system of currency, called the PUSSY-DOLLAR. The PUSSY-DOLLAR will be based on how much pussy people get compared to how much is available. Tucker Max will completely solve America's economic problems this way and simultaneously become the richest man in the world; China will find that not only has the US debt been paid off but now they're in debt to us. The PUSSY-DOLLAR will herald a glorious new era of literal fuck-you-money and will be so revolutionary no one will see it coming, until they see it coming all around them. And Tucker Max will be the one with more PUSSY-DOLLARS than anybody else and will be heralded as an economic genius and the savior of his country. Now's the time to get in on the ground floor on this revolutionary sociocultural movement. Do NOT email me about this. More later.
Ladies, get your dollars ready.
Tucker Max is really good at succeeding a lot.
Tucker Max will be exploring cooperative synergies among core competencies on a go-forward basis.
He'll be flipping burgers for the rest of his life.
"I really hope that VIACOM/Marine Guy/mccoymountain got some professional help in the end." --Richard Kelly
11/04/2009 11:20 PM
That's a really good point. It was only Tucker who was claiming this number, nobody else.
"mccoymountain was good for a few laughs but obviously a complete nutcase."
Check out McCoy Mountain's postings to Priscilla Painton, editor in Chief of Simon and Schuster
community.feministing.com/2009/09/where-is-your-line-on-comedy-t.html
MCCOY MOUNTAIN
ART, FILM, & LITERATURE GUILD OF AMERICA
Ms. Priscilla Painton
Simon & Schuster Editor in Chief
RE: ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, Secretive Tapings of Anal Sex without The Girl’s Consent, Corporate Douchebaggery, and the Epic Failure of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
“Little Italy is fighting back against Tucker Max's controversial ad campaign. Yeah, that poster on the right says, "Blind Girls Never See You Coming." Va fan culo, indeed.” --gothamist.com/2009/09/21/tucker_max.php
Dear Ms. Painton,
I and my colleagues in the ART, FILM & LITERATURE GUILD have a couple questions regarding the direction you are taking Simon and Schuster in. Why are you guys/gals hating on art, literature, culture and America? It was recently brought to our attention that you are intent on publishing Tucker Max’s ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, and that your company actually gave him a $300,000 advance for his fart art. As the editor in chief of Simon and Schuster, owned the CBS corporation, do you truly believe Assholes Finish First? It is oft said that girls like “bad boys.” Does Tucker’s fart art douchebag wit titillate and excite you? Is that why you are publishing and profiting from it? Did you laugh during Tucker’s recent film flop when what’s-his-name stated that overweight women aren’t real people? Do you smile smugly when your billion-dollar corporation profits from douchebaggery?
gawker.com/5363233/tucker-maxs-campaign-of-hate-against-chicagos-transit-system “The ads were poetic ditties of white text on a black background. Like: "Blind girls never see you coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding)."”
“Over at the Washington, D.C., premiere, Max’s video minion ridicules both Vietnamese and African-American women, the former for being employed as a pedicurist, and the latter for having a name he finds funny.”
washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
Do you enjoy profiting from making fun of Asians and overweight women? imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148314040
tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Does this make you laugh Ms. Painton? It is not too late to choose the right direction for Simon and Schuster and CBS and walk away from publishing Assholes Finish First. At most it will bring in a few pennies, which will lead everyone to conclude that you and CBS aren’t in it for the money, but just the debauchery and destruction of the culture. As Tucker Max pointed out, the feminist movement empowered women and gave them the right to choose the art they affiliated with and promote. So now, with all the power in your hands, what will you chose on behalf of women all over the world? Please do us proud and choose the right thing.
“The ad campaign for the new flick "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" includes slogans like "Deaf Girls Can't Hear You Coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding!)."”
nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/New-Movie-Ads-Take-Offensive-to-the-Max-59695522.html
Why is corporate America, under your direction Ms. Painton, forcing epic “Richard Kelly” fail fart art and film on the common public? Do you also find secretive tapings of anal sex without the girl’s consent to be entertaining and titillating art?
gawker.com/5363233/tucker-maxs-campaign-of-hate-against-chicagos-transit-system
Let's talk for a sec about something Tucker glamorizes and pretends is funny in his 'book': filming a naked women in his bedroom without her consent. I don't think it's a coincidence that while he's doing this he is coaxing the girl to have anal sex with him, an exploitative act that a guy like him probably especially enjoys.
--bitchmagazine.org/post/douchebag-decree-marketing-tucker-max
-- washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/11/the-rapiest-quotes-from-i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell/
“OK, we can try anal sex, but I want it to be special and romantic. .... process: I was going to fuck her in the butt and film it without her consent,” -- tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml
Do you and the CBS Corporation find this entertaining? As you know, sodomy is a sin in the Old Testament as is sex out of wedlock and fornication. What is your motivation in working with those who promote and profit from secretive tapings of anal sex?
Do you find such “literature” and “art” to be representative of Simon and Schuster and CBS?
“In one of his most notorious pieces, he convinces a girl to have anal sex and tapes it without her consent.” -- salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2009/09/08/tucker
community.feministing.com/2009/09/why-are-female-executives-publ.html
"Does this make you laugh Ms. Painton? It is not too late to choose the right direction for Simon and Schuster and CBS and walk away from publishing Assholes Finish First. At most it will bring in a few pennies, which will lead everyone to conclude that you and CBS aren’t in it for the money, but just the debauchery and destruction of the culture. As Tucker Max pointed out, the feminist movement empowered women and gave them the right to choose the art they affiliated with and promote. So now, with all the power in your hands, what will you chose on behalf of women all over the world? Please do us proud and choose the right thing."
Did Priscilla Painton do the right thing?
RE: $300,000 Book Advance, AFF
Tucker didn't receive a $300,000 advance. Use common sense, and a reasonableness test: When Tucker made that claim, "Beer in Hell" has sold approximately 200,000 volumes. Book advances are a function of past book sales. Is anyone dumb enough to believe that Simon is going to advance $1.50 per book on his previous title? That's simply insane.
Look, just because you're a loser nerd who can't get a girlfriend and doesn't know how real people act and I probably slept with your girlfriend and you're just mad about that and you've just never had sex with a girl so you don't know what real people are like and are just comically clueless, doesn't mean I haven't been more completely honest and open about my art than any author in history. I've posted video evidence that I said "Man talk" and slapped Katy Johnson's ass - VIDEO EVIDENCE. You want to call the video a lie, you just go right ahead and make yourself look stupid in front of the entire fucking world, because everybody else can see the video evidence and knows that I don't lie about how much fuck-you money I'm rolling in. Trust me, every single thing I say is true, and I've had open threads for the fans to ask all sorts of questions and I've answered every single one. I mean, how could I make this shit up? Add on a couple of zeros to the number on my actual advance? VIDEO EVIDENCE, people, go watch Katy Johnson in the video if you don't believe me. Do NOT email me about this. More later.
This is his revenue source - Max announced on September 2, 2009 that he will sue the blog "Bostonist" for libel
^^ not enough "fuck" and "shit" to be a credible tucktuck impersonation
but good effort all the same
a lot of people are confused as to how tucker can get laid if he's such an effeminate 5'7 douchebag. well, he's E-list famous, with his own movie and book, so you know that only helps. but that isn't the secret. take away his 'dating application' on his website and fucking his fans, which are freebies, and tucker still has a degree of game. allow me to explain.
first off, i'm a semi professional pick up artist. while i don't wear silly hats like Mystery, write books like Style (the game), or teach seminars like David D, i do 1 on 1 consulting, and i fuck girls all the time and keep getting better. i'm one of the better guys around when it comes to pounding vag and i've been a PUA for about 5 years now. you'll just have to trust me on this.
the reason i mention this is because i can recognize tucker's strength in getting laid:
one of the most important things for game is going for what you want and having 100% confidence in yourself. tucker pulls this off because he's a delusional douchebag; but the average girl won't pick up on his mental disorders, so he would get laid with or without his website. girls are attracted to potential and confidence, and he has both (on the surface - but in reality we all know he cries himself to sleep)
the website, book, movie, etc. just make it easier to put the p in the v. but guys like him get laid. it's a fact. he will also die alone, because he's just getting older and older, and more and more bitter.
-nick sadler, navy seal and green beret joint team leader
the best thing about fucking tucker's whore mom: free frequent flyer miles
nicholas sadler
11:06 looks like a Roissy post.
Or maybe his style is just easy to copy
The Apocya-Lisp Now Fake Interview quest was one of the best reads ever.
Very Impressive.
And to think, he's not even the cooleth one on this board.
Going back and rereading the first page of this thread is pretty funny.
Anonymous said...
This is off topic, but does anyone know why the Freak Safari forum started up, and why/how so many TMMB members migrated there? And why lots of the people at F.S. are banned at TMMB?
Its pathetic, but for some reason I want to know the drama/background.
4/03/2007 1:19 PM
Anonymous said...
There isn't really any drama behind it. Freaksafari is mostly ex TMMB poster who got tired of the way things went over there. You can only read so many threads about TM telling himself how cool he is. Ego speak gets really old after a while.
4/03/2007 9:06 PM
Anonymous said...
Anybody else see him cream his pants over Paul Wall (who?) He's jizzing in his pants over some D-list "celebrity" no one has ever heard of.
4/04/2007 5:28 PM
Anonymous said...
This site didn't die, it's a reaction on what TM is doing,and since he's in LA doing nada (from what I understand, he's about to be replaced as writer on his own TV show), this site's function has slowed down.
4/07/2007 5:08 PM
Anonymous said...
Secret rumor has it that Tucker failed out of basic training in the Army. There was a guy who was saying that Tucker was in the same basic training regiment as him. Can anyone research this? That may explain his fascination with military men. I'm not saying he is really gay. But I think it needs research and I am quite honestly to stupid to follow through.
4/25/2007 11:25 PM
Anonymous said...
Yeah its true and what all of Tucker's "friends" laugh about behind his back. Hoo-ahh is basically Tucker's "story" about him leaving it all behind for a shot at the Special Forces. Unfortunately, Tucker didn't make it. Word is that he couldn't handle the physical requirements & was able to weasel a discharge out of the army. Hoo-ahh hasn't been updated in years, and Tucker has repeatedly banned anyone on his board who has called him out on the whereabouts of "Nick" & the BS that is Hoo-ahh. Now he clings to his "buddies" in the SF (why do you think he glommed onto "Reaper" so quickly) in a typical narcissistic/futile attempt to catch some of their glimmer. So sad.
4/26/2007 8:41 AM
Two and a half years, and we're still on almost exactly the same subjects.
2.5 years later and tucker has lost more time/money than the rest of us combined.
$10.5 + million!
tucker's story ended sad, but there were some happy endings
kung fu mike started his own kung fu studio.
nils parker went on to get 6th place in the annual nathan's hotdog eating contest.
the bunny is still alive. yay!
the idiot board shut down after their third hosting bill was due. they were originally worried about going over bandwidth, but with only 25 members, this was not an issue.
rudius airline has gone intergalactic, and rumor has it they just bought Google (hostile takeover)
ryan holiday caught man aids from a man. american apparel gave him a raise. cicero rose from the dead to call ryan holiday a faggot.
cloud starchaser wins.
"nils parker went on to get 6th place in the annual nathan's hotdog eating contest."
He also took first, fourth, and ninth places.
Yes, that's right- Nils is so fat, he placed four times in the same hot dog-eating contest. That indicates to me that Nils is very, very fat.
Are you no longer able to comment on Rudius sites? I'm trying to ask Ryan what RMOSEIP is, lol.
http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/images/4-11-2009_1847_PM.png
It's wierd. Why are they pulling out the wires one at a time? Why not just flip the switch on the whole thing at once?
^^^ Because Tucker Max is a Zionist Kike.
Tugger is NOT a Jew.
A cunt. Yes. Jew? No.
And Nils? Complete fat ass.
I just want too know where the fucking iPhone app is?! I really want to play that thing. It's not even the coolest one of my apps.
@2:56, you make me giggle
Things I've noticed... psycho Bunny is absent from recent postings. Dissin' is good news 'rilla hater fans.
Also, noticed that the Freak Safari and Idiot Board losers took a clue and saw that we don't give a rats' testicle about either of their sad boards.
Yay for random meannness and cruelty.
^^^ Agreed. I'm just trying to figure out if Jesse Bradford is going to win an Oscar for creating 'one of the great characters in American cinema.' Hollywood is surely all abuzz about his paradigm-shifting performance by now.
I think what I'm getting at here, is that Nils is pretty fat, really.
The Freak Safari crew pussied out from the debate. TiB gets about 1000x more traffic and it's only increasing day-to-day. You think there would have been a drop off if people were only interested in Tucker. NOPE!
the idiot board will gets hundreds if not thousands of hits... per year. it's a tremendous superpower as far as bulletin boards go.
No one gives a shit about your super cool internet clubhouse.
Tee hee. his movie tanked.
The idiot board is growing by the second. Don't email me about this people.
HI I AM BIFF AND MY INTERNET CLUBHOUSE IS KEWL3R THAN EVRY1 ELSES AND ALSO NO GIRLS A,LLOWD!!!!!!NONE!!!! SO IT SI COOL COME JOIN MY INTERNET ONLINE CLUB
- BIFF!!!
Keep thinking about Tucker.
Hey guys. I was just wondering - does anyone know if Tucker's stories in his book are true? Cheers.
@6:52
I'm thinking about Tucker really, really hard, but it hasn't made my penis grow any. What am I doing wrong?
I'd join your club any day, Biff!
http://www.griffinwrites.com/
Jr. fucknuts updated. Somebody with 3 hours on their hands read through his latest novel and summarize the douchebaggery.
i love the griffin posts because you see how much of a tool tucker is and how naive his followers are
"Jeff, expressionless, shook his head. “Ben come here,” he curled his finger. They disappeared around the corner."
Again, WHO THE FUCK decided this guy had a future as an editor???
this guy is the worst writer in the history of the rudius empire, and that is a deep insult
Hey, guys... I haven't checked this site in a while. What's the latest? I haven't heard too much about Tucker's movie- has it passed the $200million mark yet? I'm really interested in seeing how all the Rudius Media sites are going to grow and expand, now that Rudius Media is financially solvent. Man, I bet Tucker's message board has just BLOWN UP in response to his success. Private jet, here he comes! I bet all those investors are just LOVING Tucker right about now, huh?
second part of the shrinktalk.net post cont...
"For some of you this is fantastic news. I’ve gotten more than my fair share of email from Tucker Haters, people who told me that my site is good enough to stand on its own and that being associated with Tucker detracted from my credibility as a professional Psychologist. I don’t know exactly what the majority of people think of me when they know I’m connected to Tucker, but I will say this: without Ben Corman and Tucker Max, there is no ShrinkTalk.Net. At least not a successful one. You can hate Tucker’s unflagging narcissism, but if he didn’t greenlight this site, it probably never would have existed. Or, at best, it would have sat on Blogger or Blogspot with no audience. And without Ben, it would have been just awful. He and I have spent the past two years plus, going over every piece written, discussing what works and what doesn’t. He taught me how to tell a story, how to get readers inside my characters’ heads and how to bring a professional perspective to a piece. Without that tutelage, people would not have come back to read again and again. So gratitude needs to go out to both Ben and Tucker.
Thanks also to everyone else at Rudius who were part of the site, whether it was for interviews, ancillary editing, coding, site design and everything else that most of us don’t see. They worked very hard to make the company a success and deserve great things going forward."
2:57 PM - that's funny, right before that line I was struck by how artificial and robotic the dialog was. This shit reads like an amateur-hour screenplay...guess he learned something from Tucker after all.
“I feel bad about Jeff,” Jaime shrugged with genuine concern.
“Yeah, it sucks he can’t make it out. Maybe we should have stayed and helped him. He’s not pissed is he?”
“No, he seemed fine. But he could be hiding it.” She turned to say something to Ben as he came over from the front desk. Before she could, Jeff came around the corner from the elevators."
http://www.attentioncrash.net/shrinktalk.net/?p=374
If you go the site now, most of the previous post was redacted with this comment...
"Edit: Parts of this piece needed to be removed due to conflicting reports. Apologies."
hahahah..."conflicting reports" = Tucker flipped out that the truth leaked out.
Guys, if you want to see bad writing, go to Ben Corman's writer board.
Ok so I just visited Freak Safari to see what the fuss is about and I see a sticky thread about MeShell and from it I see that the FS crew is a pack of credulous suckers in exactly the same way that Tucker's crew has always been.
You morons REALLY need to go hang out on a Serious Business forum for a while, like maybe Something Awful. You may get banned for the lulz a few times and ripped off for a couple hundred bucks, but after a few months you'll have a better idea what this whole internet thing is all about.
Hint: close emotional connections with, and trust for, people you've never ever seen face to face, is NOT it.
agreed. join SA and have fun on GBS, at least it will be a better waste of your time.
Or you could choose not to give a shit and remember that Tucker Max is, in fact, a douchebag.
Hahahahahaha. The pictures of Tucker standing on a cushion to make himself look 6 feet tall? Yeah, they've been removed.
What a winner Tucker is.
"The Freak Safari crew pussied out from the debate. TiB gets about 1000x more traffic and it's only increasing day-to-day. You think there would have been a drop off if people were only interested in Tucker. NOPE!"
Uh huh.... or the "Freak Safari crew" just doesn't care about trying to defend against TiB, and is happy being small, close knit, and (mostly) idiot free.
Think about Tucker.
What could it all mean?
^^^HAHAHA! Tatguy, long time no see. What are you up to these days?
The pictures of Tucker standing on a cushion to make himself look 6 feet tall? Yeah, they've been removed.
They're going to appear soon on the quotable tucker max, right?
Speaking of which, how about some categories there for a little more oganization?
Tucker versus Tucker
Tucker's predictions versus reality
The Bunny on Tucker
and so forth.
Nils isn't fat. He's just a gravy connoisseur.
With a quick wiff of his nose, he can differentiate the type of gravy. Sawmill? Brown? There is no gravy he can't sniff out.
If you think his nose is skilled, his tongue is of even keener sense. With just a small drop of what he calls "heaven," Nils can tell you what animal the gravy was made from, the zip code where it was made and, in an even keener display of gravy knowledge, the name and ethnicity of who made it.
The point is, Nils is incredibly fat. Like, "can't go to Alaska or else he'd get poached for blubber" fat.
griffin site is hilarious. straight from an insider, we see that the film production focused primarily on beer runs and fashion policing the crew.
this griffin i bet will CENSOR his shit too once tugger gets thru with him.
Can someone send the guy at quoteabletuckermax the flicker photo of Max standing on a cushion trying to fake the 6 foot height mark?
I have acopy at work but not home.
So, after reading Griffin's vomit-on-a-screen he calls a blog, four guys on the tour got shit-faced at a bar and went to Bill Dawes' room to play a hot-potato-like electronic word game? Are they 12?
height picture is on April 23, 2008.
http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/
- quotable tucker max
Someone email Ryan and ask him what RMOSEIP was.
I've been reading the past posts on this website, and we all saw this coming
But we should not let up, I think we have the potential to make him quit the internet
I fucking hate tucker max
"I really hope that VIACOM/Marine Guy/mccoymountain got some professional help in the end." --Richard Kelly?
didn't the communists always try to medicate those who did not agree?
tucker max represents secretive tapings of buttsex without the girl's consent. that needs medicating. not us marines.
quotable:
you are the fucking man. excellent work.
http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/
hahahahahhahahahahaha
Dude holy shit I forgot about all those quotes over the past year, what a douchebag
My favorite is how he says all his haters accomplish nothing but hating him, uh no Tucker your the laughing stock of the internet to some people.
Same reason people go to break or college humor, waste time and laugh
what a fucking tool
Went looking for any information I could find on OC/DC. From trackingb cache I pulled this.
Title: OC/DC
Genre: Comedy
Writers: Tucker Max & Nils Parker
Based on a story by: Max, Parker, and Erin Tyler
Production status: Treatment
Synopsis: When two strangers who happen to be identical twins meet at an airport they decide to switch identities for one month. Brad (the over-achieving son of a high-strung DC Senator) trades his life of privilege and prestige with Chad (a laid-back surfer from the shores of southern California) leading both men to discover that the true path to happiness in life is one you must walk for yourself.
Production Company: Rudius Films / 5042 Wilshire Blvd
#815 / Los Angeles, CA 90036 / USA / Phn: 323-605-1019
(Last status update March, 2008)
Anyone have a copy of this script?
^^^ Ho. Lee. Shit.
THAT'S what he thought would be so great??
Man, that OC/DC sounds hiLARious. No hijinks there, that's for sure. People find their twins in airports fairly often. That's where I found my twin sister, and I have a friend who found his twin brother at O'Hare last week.
It's good to see Tucker knows exactly how to craft a believable, realistic story. And an overachieving senator's son and laid-back surfer dude?! Good to see he's not relying on stereotypical character-types.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that Tucker is really, really short.
Wait, where did you find that shit on OC/DC? Tracking cache? What is that?
Tucker is 5'11''.
You ever notice Tucker often writes that a situation has "too many jokes to make" or "you can make your own joke here"? Probably because is uncreative and can't think of a joke.
I'll let you add your own punchline here.
No, it's not that it's unrealistic that is the problem.
The problem is that this has already been done, with Lindsay Lohan starring in the two lead roles, and Lindsay whether at 12 and sweet and innocent or 20something in coked-out whore mode has always been more interesting than Tucker.
Srsly, think about it, it's just a fratboy version of Parent Trap, without the "let's get them back together" gimmick to keep it focused. And even THAT was a remake of a movie from the 60s.
So, yeah. Tucker rips off a Lindsay Lohan remake and calls it originality. That's about right.
Also, in the interviews publicizing the movie, whenever a host would get in a little quip or zinger at Tucker's expense, he would always be like "Oh, don't make me start joking about you", or "I'll let you have a free one". Of course, if he could actually think of anything creative, or if he really possessed the quick wit he brags about, he would just make a goddamn joke right back.
I'd rather catch a case of AIDS then catch a show of OC/DC.
Brad and Chad!!! HAHA, their names rhyme! This is gonna be so high grossing.
Here's a script I'd love to see Tucker write:
It's about a writer with a totally unrealisitic sense of self who pisses off everybody he meets while making a movie that's supposedly based on "his life". Of course the movie isn't based on his life, it's based on his novel (which is proven to be bullshit in the last 30 minutes) and it's unraveling ends up being a catharsis of sorts for the "writer" and he ends up being a better person.
6:39, you know the saying "write what you know"? Tucker can't write that ending.
Some you may be wondering why I haven't updated my blog lately. I've been busy. Let's just say I have been fast tracked through the military about as quick as a lubed up negro's meat club would find the lower intestine of a Thai hooker.
Apparently Mr. Max's movie has done dismally. That is too be expected, great art is rarely appreciated in it's time. However the book is doing quite well, I can take partial credit for that. You see, I have made IHTSBIH mandatory reading for ALL members of the special forces. I have also hired Mr. Max as a civilian liason to teach the men how to be "Cool" and give them the confidence to "do your own thing". Extremely valuble skills to have during a mission.
In fact, Mr. Max has done so well I have decided to create an extremely hush hush elite black ops squad under his command, called the "Alpha-Male Force". The team will be populated by Tucker and his friends (some of which are even more talented than he is, Jesus Christ). All members will be equipped with rifles and laser cross bows of Tuckers design and fly to missions on a specially converted Rudius Air jet, the Night Hawk.
We have sunk literally bilions into this project so far. The Bunny has been through 14 treatments of plastic surgery so now she is actually attractive. Nils was fat, now he is even more fat. Kung Fu Mike was given a membership to the YMCA and a subscription to Black-Belt magazine. But the most insane squad member of them all now has to be Ryan Holiday, he has been outfitted with vibrating fingers that can stab right through a mans chest, or glean information and suck up in the most creative ways.
I fully expect this force to erradicate terrorism and completely change the political landscape. More on this later.
Good day Gentlemen.
General Nick Sadler (not Tucker Max, trust me)
Tucker should do a remake of Twins with Nils playing a morbidly obese schwartzenegger, and tucker playing, well, an exact replica of danny devito.
6'0 bro. true story.
nick 'brad/chad' sadler, team leader
brad and chad are rad!
" The Bunny has been through 14 treatments of plastic surgery so now she is actually attractive"
Calling shenanigans on this.
Tucker Max is like Kenny Powers without the sense of being redeemable in the end.
I too thought of "The Parent Trap." Tucker really is an unfunny douche. I really, really wish he dupes some investors into making that movie. We can relive the past three months all over again!
I Hope They Remake The Parent Trap in Hell.
douche.
The Parent Trap meets The Prince and the Pauper...not exactly original there, Tucktucks.
"I have decided to create an extremely hush hush elite black ops squad under his command, called the "Alpha-Male Force"."
You should have called them "The Unapologetically Masculine Alpha-Male Force".
"Production status: Treatment"
Wait!!! Tucker said the project was WRITTEN, not just a treatment. Are you saying Tucker "Trust Me" Max is lying?!?!
Darko is on fire!
"Cameron Diaz' latest film, The Box, blew it at the box office on Friday night!
Directed by Donnie Darko's Richard Kelly, the horror flick is only expected to open to a measly $7 mil over the weekend.
Pretty shitty for a movie that cost $25 million to make."
Nothing stays the same forever. I can tell you with 100% certainty that by this time next year, the RMMB will not exist in its current form, if for no other reason than because I am going to change it myself. In early to mid 2010, we plan on rolling out a whole new look and system to all the Rudius sites, and completely revamp the entire community aspect to them, including this place. I don't want to go into detail, mainly because all the details haven't been settled, but the changes I do know are coming are really cool. [Ask Ryan about RMOSEIP. I cannot wait to start that].
The "whole new look" of Rudius will be complete invisibility. As in, you won't be able to see anything from the Rudius family. It will revolutionize the internet forever!!! Do NOT email me about this.
OC/DC is currently in pre-production right now. We have secured an Oscar-winning Director and two members of the British royal family for the leads. More on this later. Do NOT e-mail about this people.
From the genius that is Fatasaurus:
Being funny is one of the hardest things to do in this world. Running a close third behind only 2) hitting a major league fastball and 1) marrying a beautiful woman who will not rip out your heart and step on it like a cigarette butt, being funny requires, above all else, being able to find the funny. What people don't seem to realize is that the funny is EVERYWHERE. Sometimes it's obvious (midgets getting hit by buses) and sometimes it's very subtle (the frequency with which morbidly obese people drive Geo Metros). Regardless, finding the funny requires that you keep your eyes and ears open and identify the absurd in every possible situation. Here, let me show you...
He's absolutely, if there is one thing that Nils is capable of doing, it is finding the funny. And then giving it crib death.
seeing Nils lecture on funny is like trying to describe a square triangle. Does Not Compute.
Nils, why don't you review some chinese food buffets for us? Keep it real, you disgusting pig. The only thing funny about you is the piteous plight of you and your 5'8 sociopathic internet bff.
Comedy asinine (SP intended), why don't you and special forces go die in a structure fire, fueled by aids.
-nicholas sadler.
HI I AM BIFF BUT I AM NOT 58 AND WHY DO YOU SAY I AM NILS'S INTERNET BIFF I AM NOT HIS BIFF I AM BIFF AND I AM TOTALLY REAL AND I AM NOBODSY'S BIFF BUT BIFF'S B/C TEH BIFFSTER BELONGS TO NBODY OK???????
- BIFF!!!
The movie flopped but,
I hear the awesome soundtrack with that well know Paul Wall guy is blowing up the billboard charts. I heard on Tuckers board over a year ago how awesome the song he did for the movie was. It must be..look at how much airtime its getting I hear it all the time.
Seriously didn't Tucker say he listened to this song for like 8 straight hours on a car trip or something?
Seems his taste in music id as well defind as his production skillZ!
^^^ That's a good point. Usually, a movie's soundtrack is available for purchase right around the same time the movie is released. Yet, here we are... two months later... no soundtrack. And, of course, I'm still waiting on that killer iPhone app... I'm just a little confused, because Tucker was SURE the move was going to blow up. I don't understand what's taking so long.
Oh, well. Tucker KNOWS it's going to blow up on DVD, and we all know how right Tucker is about things he KNOWS are going to happen.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that Nils is really fat, and Tucker's five-foot-eight.
I'm 5 foot 6, and Tucker's shorter than me. Trust me.
- random internet short guy who should totally be believed
That OC/ DC thing, if it's real, (I doubt it is) is the same premise as 'It takes two' with the Olsen twins:
"Two identical strangers meet accidentally. One is an orphan (Amanda) and the other a rich kid (Alyssa). Alyssa's father decides to get married to a real horror. So the kids switch to get rid of her."
yea the whole OC/DC is nothing original whatsoever.
Its very shakespearean as a matter of fact
I hope these jerk-offs inspire someone with talent to start writing movies.
Nils is fat, Tucker is a puss
And...all the links to the Radius sites are now gone...poof. The biggest cunt on the internet has now offically tried to cover all his tracks. But what, oh what will he do about this blog? Bwahahahahaha.
After seeing how uncreative Tucker is, do you really doubt the authenticity of that treatment?
tucker max quote:
And if you are like most people so far, you will love the movie, and want to go back and see it again. I have never lied to or deceived my fans, and I am not about to start now:
You have my word that "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" the movie will be worth the price of admission.
I was talking to a guy last nite that said he would rather see "Meatballs II" 10 times in a row than to ever watch "IHTSBIH" again.
Remember: "I am now a huge literary star." Do not email me on this people, I am a star in my own mind.
If the OC/DC treatment thing is true, then wow, this guy really had no business making movies
You can flame me all you want but I think the oc/dc picth sounds funny. Yes it's been done before but with young girls, never grown men.
I'll assume the OC stands for Orange County? There are many funny premises that could arise from the 2 fish out of water situations. seems that most of the funny would be watching the stoner's reaction to the DC world.
It's high concept so the proof would really be in the execution. If Tucker and Nils are smart they will just take the upfront money on this one and walk away.
^^^^^
HAHAHAH, TAKE THE UPFRONT MONEY!!!???!! After IHTSBIH, these guys won't even get a phone call from someone with a Hollywood area code, let alone get an offer.
I can see it now...stoner stumbles into Congress, hilarity ensues. (But no hijinks!!!)
You were joking, right?
I can see it now...stoner stumbles into Congress, hilarity ensues. (But no hijinks!!!)
You were joking, right?
The Hollywood of 2009 is different from the days of old where grudges were held. Tucker is still a viable property based on book sales alone. The fact that freestyle/darko et al dropped the ball on the marketing doesn't reflect poorly on the source material.
No, the marketing does not reflect poorly on the source material. The source material does that all on its own.
^
for the win
Here's the thing about blaming the marketing... tugger talked shit for two years on his ihtsbih blog about how it would be a huge success without marketing. And talked shit about the hangover because they had a marketing budget.
But the hollywood marketing machine convinces a lot of people to see shitty movies, so maybe it was a marketing problem?
Well, darko focused a lot of their marketing dollars on chicago, they had a lot of theaters lined up. The had billboards and bus ads (which were banned, resulting in free press). And according to tugger, it didn't help. Not only that, the chicago psa was lower than places without marketing.
The movie just wasn't that good.
The script, the direction, the lighting, the sound, the editing.... amateur hour.
There's a reason distributors passed on it. There's a reason audiences passed on it. There's a reason critics shit on it.
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