The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 13601 – 13800 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Haven't we been over why before? I think I pointed it out already, but for reiteration's sake:
1. I think she's cute
2. She's probably great in bed with her appetite
3. Even though sex with Tucker is a con, she's had a few years of douching to clear him out of her system
4. I don't think she's that horrible of a person in all honesty
Whatever happened to mrjake (besides Tucker leaving him high and dry in New York)?
"^^ they seem to be upholding the fine RMMB traditions though: DELETE and BAN. So it doesn't matter. Same Tucker Max dick, different ass this time"
Just pointing out that the previous statement I quoted was incorrect. They weren't mods, they were just the people who made the board a big part of their life, whored around for the most stupid rep points, etc.
As for deletions and bannings, I don't know. Who gives a fuck anyways? It's not like Tucker is going to read that board to see it and aside from that, what does it serve? A bunch of other former fans patting you on the back and telling you they agree? If they don't want to talk about it on their new forum, they don't want to talk about it. Move on.
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1. Guys who want to fuck Bunny on here only want to do it b/c they have psychological issues with Tucker. Similar to an Oedipal complex.
2. Whoever is giving the inside dirt, e.g. the tell all book w/ Darko's disapproval of, try to substantiate it with at least some proof. Don't just pull a Tucker.
"1. Guys who want to fuck Bunny on here only want to do it b/c they have psychological issues with Tucker. Similar to an Oedipal complex."
Wrong. Tucker fucking her is the only thing that would STOP me from having sex with her.
It's
THEidiotboard.com
fucknut
This is what I know. The AFF book doesn't make marketing sense anymore considering Tucker's dismal failure of not finishing even close to first. Because they paid him low 6 figure advance they are re-shuffling his book idea and possibly dropping or shelfing him. As many who know Tucker he is talking outta his ass about a behind the scenes book & possible documentary, like Overnight.
It's a catch 22 for the publisher - Tucker talking about the failure of Bob, Darko etc speaks directly to his failures, thus discounting his whole marketing potential as a cool fratboy.
BUT IHTSBIH won't be out on DVD until Jan. Investors and those involved with this film still want to keep him quiet so at least some money can be re-couped. It is pretty clear that Tucker's visibility over the talent hurt the film.
Darko wasn't the only investor. In fact, if The Box doesn't do well, they might close house. Which is too bad because I really do like Richard Kelly. He just got duped by the Hangover comedy hype that Tucker was spewing.
Just to make clear - The book idea Tucker is trying to push involves the failure of other people working on the film, but not his own failure. He wants to show how other people fucked up his film including the director, Darko and even the mods from tmmb for fucking up online wom. He has in now way, from what I heard, taking any responsibility of the film's BO results. He still believes that IHTSBIH is an excellent film.
" Which is too bad because I really do like Richard Kelly. He just got duped by the Hangover comedy hype that Tucker was spewing."
He did NO DUE DILIGENCE.
A couple hours' worth of research and googling would have turned up enough info about Tucker Max to put the movie project in a seriously different light. Heck, this place is the FIRST thing I found when I decided to see if there was anyplace else on the net talking about Tucker besides himself.
Kelly has no one to blame but himself.
And Nils, because he's fat.
@2:19, 2:26
Him shutting down the message board makes a lot more sense after reading that. Keep it coming.
Nils is just really, really fat.
Fffffffaaaaaaaatttttt.
FFFFF AA TTTTT
F A A T
FFF AAAA T
F A A T
F A A T
Question for the guy who fucked Trixie and Bunny:
Did they KNOW you slept with both of them? Call me naive, but I'd never sleep with any of my sister's exes, and neither would she...it's disgusting.
--former Trixie reader
Richard Kelly had almost nothing to do with IHTSBIH. It was all Sean McKittrick. He greenlit the movie, he gave Tucker creative control, he decided that once the movie didn't get a distributor to go out and do the DIY route he decided that the bus tour made good business sense.
The publisher won't go for it. No way they can convince themselves there's a market for finger-pointing about a third-rate failed movie involving a D-list internet celebrity. Just the cost of printing is more than what such a thing would make.
Nope, it'll soon be time for Tucklinger to return his already-spent-it advance under threat of breach of contract lawsuits.
3:08: And Kelly didn't fire McKittrick earlier. Still his fault. The buck stops here and all that.
"Call me naive, but I'd never sleep with any of my sister's exes, and neither would she..."
As far as you know...
I say, my good fellow! This Nils Parker chap. A bit tubby, is he, what? Pip pip.
Just to make clear - The book idea Tucker is trying to push involves the failure of other people working on the film, but not his own failure. He wants to show how other people fucked up his film including the director, Darko and even the mods from tmmb for fucking up online wom. He has in now way, from what I heard, taking any responsibility of the film's BO results. He still believes that IHTSBIH is an excellent film.
I’m sure he’ll reappear on theidiotboard and pitch the exposé as groundbreaking, when in fact it’ll be your standard kiss-and-tell Hollywood book, sans personal recrimination over substance abuse. The problem is that nobody will give a damn, as evidenced by the paltry $1.4 million box office. Tucker is a perfect metaphor for the anonymity and shadowy vagueness of the online world; he was never that popular, and there was a paucity of evidence to support his that he had a sizeable fan base.
The investors should have done a modicum of due diligence, but they were probably blinded by the self-referential lies (book sales, web site popularity, etc.). All sales can have a degree of puffery attached, but when you’re trying to size Tucker’s potential following, accuracy surrounding that information is critical.
If I had financially backed Darko, I would be pissed, just as I would be pissed at any investment manager who demonstrated that he is too cool to perform the simplest due diligence before losing my money.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/daily/chart/
Does that mean it's done?
His film is listed as N/A for the day. At the very bottom.
^
It means it's done.
It is not listed on movies.com.
Grant
FIRST tuckermax.com worth $537,072
http://www.statinternet.com/domain/tuckermax.com
he has money folks, enuf said.
2nd http://boxofficemojo.com/studio/chart/?studio=freestyle.htm
top ten for freestyle and they are REALLY the ONE TO FUCK THIS UP. If the movie got a proper release things would be different - the reviews by ACTUAL FANS who WATCHED THE FUCKIN MOVIE
people who get rich in the industry know when they got a good commodity. Just check out his BOOK SALES THIS WEEK .
Tucker Max quote:
Truly crazy people don’t realize they are crazy. The Nutjob knows what she did was wrong, but she probably has no idea why she did it or why she got so angry. Malignant Narcissism is why.
You can see her narcissism play out just in all her texts: She blames her friend for the decision I made, that she forced on me no less, she wishes ill on her friend because she got something
This is what happens when you confront a narcissist with a complete withdrawl of narcissist supply: She disassociates. Because her sense of self is external and not internal, she can’t deal with a rejection like this–when all your validation comes from external sources, and those sources reject you, it destroys your sense of self.
I joke about being a narcissist all the time, and no question I am very self-centered, but this girl–wow, she has real Narcissist Personality Disorder, and by not validating her self-image, I broke her emotionally, and the result is a pile of sand at my hotel room door."
"FIRST tuckermax.com worth $537,072
http://www.statinternet.com/domain/tuckermax.com
he has money folks, enuf said.
2nd http://boxofficemojo.com/studio/chart/?studio=freestyle.htm
top ten for freestyle and they are REALLY the ONE TO FUCK THIS UP. If the movie got a proper release things would be different - the reviews by ACTUAL FANS who WATCHED THE FUCKIN MOVIE
people who get rich in the industry know when they got a good commodity. Just check out his BOOK SALES THIS WEEK ."
Hah!!!
Nice spin dude, but too little too late.
Tucker Max got defeated by a blog and ran away crying. End of story.
His film tanked and was slaughtered in reviews. Some reviewers even refused to give the film ANY stars.
Tucker had plans to buy a private jet with his FU money. He posted about this many times.
But karma and common sense came home to roost and wiped Tucker off the face of the web like a blemish.
He closed his own message boards. Boards he HAD FOR SEVEN YEARS. He closed his own message boards rather than face his failure like a man.
And guess what? Everyone saw it as it happened. The pussy revealed his true colors.
Keep spinning.
I understand that guys like to laugh and joke and get along. I do the same thing with my friends. On the IHTSBIH set, however, it was a very different story. These people weren't funny. They were "fratastic" in that douchebag sense. On my last day on set I talked to Matt Czuchry, who I got to know rather well. He told me that the Hollywood business was cut throat, and that he'd had his share of lumps. He said everyday he was losing respect for Tucker and that he worried this role my be career ending because the character doesn't have any redeeming qualities. Actually, he said the character Tucker as it was written might appear to, but after studying Tucker himself, he realized the guy was a fucking prick.
You'll notice there are no party picks of Tucker and the actors after the first week or so. This is not a coincidence. I've never been so incensed with an individual. Perhaps I was asking for it, chasing a pipe dream with no regard, but nobody should have to deal with what I did. I haven't even scratched the surface...
^^^
If you're still in touch with him, tell Matt his role as Tucker won't be career threatening because next to no one saw the movie. Next to no one will buy the DVD. If it had grossed $100 million+, then he'd have something to worry about. As cutthroat as Hollywood is, they'll forgive a mistake that lived and died in the shadows.
Tucker Max wrote:
"October 4, 2009
I know many of you are capable of thinking for yourselves, so play this game. Ask yourself:
Was Bob on the premiere tour?
Was Bob at any of the premieres, save the LA one?
How much press has Bob done during this process?
There is a reason he hasn't been involved in this movie since he showed everyone his directors cut, and answering those questions above can give you all the understanding you need of Gosse's attempts to spin the situation to help his career in the one interview he has done for this film (an interview he scheduled for himself through a contact with a friend).
Answering those questions above can give you all the understanding you need of Gosse's one interview he has done for this film. There is a reason he hasn't really been involved in this movie since he showed everyone his directors cut. I mean, it should tell you something when the director can't get basic facts right about his own movie--for example, Matt was cast LONG before we got to Shreveport, in fact he as cast before we even secured financing. It was Marika we cast when we were in Shreveport.
Look, Gosse has his own issues, and I don't care about them or want to discuss them beyond this post. They aren't relevant to me anymore, or to the movie, or to anything in the future."
"September 30, 2009 [five days after movie releases]
And trust me, you would be shocked if I told you some of the stories about the shit that Darko and Freestyle and MRC and Pandemic either has done or wanted us to do. You wouldn't believe it. You literally would not believe the incompetence and lack of professionalism. It's shocking, even to us still. We've been swimming with an anchor around our neck. I'll explain it all later."
Way to be a leader, Tucker!
September 29, 2009
And by the way, to all the nerds who are so butthurt because I said things and made predictions that didn't come true immediately:
You mean Tucker Max is fallible? OH NO!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!
Look, I never said one thing that I didn't believe that the time I wrote it. Every prediction I made I believed in my heart. Every statement I made I thought was true. Clearly some of the things I thought have turned out to be incorrect. And I may have overstated things, used too much hyperbole, and over-promised, but I never lied and I never said anything I didn't believe at that moment. You know that means?
I'm just like every other fucking person on earth: Flawed.
This is not news to me, even though it seems to be news to some of you.
Some people who should have done their jobs didn't, and we didn't realize it until too late, and now--on a movie that had almost no margin for error--we are stuck with some huge errors, most of which were completely out of our control.
^^ Where you getting all this from?
Closing down tmmb is one of the dumbest moves tug has done yet. Now he has no control of his image and brand. At least on the tmmb fans could come together and revel in his filtered propaganda. Now fans are dispersed to other forums where no such filter exists, although the idiotboard is trying.
FIRST tuckermax.com worth $537,072
http://www.statinternet.com/domain/tuckermax.com
he has money folks, enuf said.
Are you really that fucking stupid, fan boy?
1) Tuckermax.com's valuation is a lame ass calculation based on traffic, not based on actual or potential revenue. Guess what shit head? Now that Tucker pulled the plug on you monkeys, the traffic is going to fall 98%. In other words, even by that idiotic valuation method tuckermax.com isn't worth all that much anymore.
2) That's not money in the bank for Tucker. In other words fool, it won't pay the bills, and I'm sure Tucker has plenty of those after the "fail bus tour".
Workedonthemovie said:
"I haven't even scratched the surface..."
Then scratch away dear fellow, scratch away. Don't be shy. And whatever you do dont give yourself a name that seems to give credulity, write a few sentences than anybody could have written but dont actually reveal anything that was not already known, then finish on a line that pretends there is more to tell, and expect to be taken seriously.
We here have had seen this type of behaviour on blogs before and are a bit jaded.
Details, kind fellow, details.
"^^ Where you getting all this from"
It was from the movie dicussion thread in the days immediatly following the release of the movie. Tucker had a minor meltdown on the borad in the midst of a bigger major meltdown that I'm sure was going on as well.
Domestic Total as of Oct. 19, 2009: $1,364,900
Biscuits is a soothsayer!!
I understand the post could be a straw man argument, but let me ask you this in his defense: Of the talent or crew who has come out in support of the film? No tweets, no blog mentions - nothing. Even a small mention like, hey I worked on this film coming out is common just to show support for each other.
On the bus tour, interviews on YT none of the talent was there to help promote the film after the initial week or so. We are talking about porn stars and unknown actors who would LOVE and even crave the exposure.
Early on the set had a titanic failure feel to it. But like professionals they did their job and tolerated the BS. People felt like hey, it's not our POS film so who gives a fuck. But no one wants to actually work like that. When it was done, did you see a real wrap party? I heard the gifts from Tucker were promotional shit from the film like a beer stein.
couple more tugger quotes:
Bob and I had our issues during filming. That story–the one about the movie behind the movie–is very interesting and will be told in full one day.
For the rest of our lives, Matt Czuchry and I are going to be inextricably linked. He’ll be the guy that the world knows as Tucker Max. Oh yeah, did I mention that he’s going to be a huge fucking star. I hope he’s ready.
Poor Sean McKittrick. He’s aged ten years on this movie, mostly because of me. He’s had to deal with the worst parts of me, and manage the movie, and focus on all the other things his company has going. By myself, I am a full time job. Without Sean (and the rest of the guys at Darko) this movie wouldn’t exist, and in the end, he probably won’t get anywhere near the credit that he deserves. Well, someone always has to get fucked, right? Bend over Sean.
Jen and Mike: I won’t put their last names because I don’t know if they want to be mentioned at all, but these two were the initial investors in the movie and were the first people to not just say they believed in me, they put their money where their mouth was. It’s going to be a proud day in my life when they get their first royalty check.
"^^ Where you getting all this from"
this is stored on http://www.quotabletuckermax.com/
Listen guys. Seriously Tucker is not in a good place right now. He thinks the world is against him and doesn't realize it's just Nils leaning on him.
I think everyone should send him an email asking when the film is going to be released on DVD.
Jen is Nils' wife. Mike? KFM?
"FIRST tuckermax.com worth $537,072"
In Imaginationland money, sure.
"ACTUAL FANS who WATCHED THE FUCKIN MOVIE"
Yeah, funny how there didn't seem to be many of those. I mean, if there WERE lots, it's not like it would be that hard for them to make a splash, no? Can't be more than a couple dozen really dedicated haters, based on the posting I see. Tucker ought to easily be able to pull together that many solid fans in every state.
And yet ...
"Jen is Nils' wife. Mike? KFM?"
Oooh, that would be delicious. But I don't see how he could have gotten together enough money to qualify, unless he borrowed it from his parents.
Which would be even FUNNIER.
That "worked on the movie" guy, was that Ian Claudius?
THE KOALA IS TALKING AT ME AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP IT WON'T EVER STOP I CANT MAKE IT GO AWAY I SEE IT THROUGH THE WALLS MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP WHY DOES IT WEAR YELLOW PAJAMAS
I hear Nils is fat.
This is a repeat Ukrainian bride advertisement and totally blonde and sexy. Nice going, McBeefycakes.
Just for kicks, I took a look at the new retard board in case there was anything worth reading.
Short answer: NO.
Long answer: gay shit like this:
I also thought the movie website was actually very revolutionary, despite what most people think. The fact that tucker had the guts to post all the positive and negative reviews for the movie is groundbreaking in itself. Since when do people promoting their movies post anything negative about them?
(There was more... the douchebag saw the movie 3 times).
Honestly, I don't know if it was a subtle troll, but I couldn't resist. I created an account, posted a reply, and was banned within 10 minutes.
Paraphrased:
"whereas rotten tomatoes has posted 22 negative reviews and tucker has only posted 4 negative reviews, your definition of "all" is as deficient as his guts."
Ok I finally have a chance to finish from earlier today. The publisher's mktg team is scrambling to re-brand Tucker's next book. They feel it's worth considering because of book sales recently. But I can tell you they aren't happy and are not fans of his.
No joke, I know this sounds ridiculous but they are throwing around the idea of Assholes Finish Last, a story of his fall and how pricks get their comeuppance but learn a lesson in the process.
There are two barriers to this idea: one, Tucker would have to admit to some failures; Two, they have to be careful about libel. Leashing in Tucker's vision is a major challenge and he creates potential risk of ruining the book before it is even out. The publisher needs him to play along for the book to have a chance.
If Tucker doesn't get his way, he will not cooperate. This is why the idea of shelfing him is appealing to a few people. He is a risk, he has lost a lot of his shine from a mktg standpoint and many are wary to bet on him.
shit i gotta go, will try to finish later
"Assholes Finish Last, ... Tucker would have to admit to some failures"
Will. Not. Happen.
Well I guess with the Tucker Max hysteria dying down it's about time for me to take my leave.
It's been fun, even with the disagreements with other "haters" such as TDG. I called him a bully, he said he wasn't confrontational, it was a thing we had.
It seems like only a few months ago I had completely forgotten about Tucker Max and his crazy frat boy antics. By chance I stumbled across one of Generic User's political diatribes on the Barack Obama IMDb board which lead me to what would be some of the most interesting/hilarious discussions I've read. And as a result of Tucker Max hatred!
This has all been great reading for in the morning when I'm having my coffee and browsing the internets.
I look forward to coming back and discussing this atrocity of a "film" when it hits the torrent circuit.
PS: I almost forgot to add, I truly do love all of yo- wait that wasn't it, what I meant to say was, Nils is really fat.
Salutations, readership of Tucker Max is a douchebag!
YG here.
So I just got home after patronizing several bars, alone this time, (hey, it's a Wednesday... awesome drink specials but generally lacking in the company of women) and I decided to check out the internet with respect to Tucker Max,
And what did I find?
This:
"http://www.ngtv.com/?clipIdNum=41951325001"
And if you freeze at EXACTLY :03 seconds, you see the image that I saw, which is Tucker's "retard" visage. The one that speaks the truth to the world, a la Cartman with fake Tourettes, "I'm making this all up."
And then it hit me.
Pardon the brief autobiographical sketch, but I think that Tucker and I have had somewhat similar experiences early in life. I'm from a poor area, and had parents who worked in education. Middle-middle class. In a place where everyone else's parents either worked at an assembly plant or were millworkers.
Most of my friends were, looking back upon those days, poor by the standards of the late 20th Century, in which I became of age.
Thus I was "privileged", though I lived in a modest 3 bedroom home by national standards. The fact that I had new clothes for every school year growing up was sufficient to make others envious.
Tucker, by contrast, grew up in luxury. His dad, during Tucker's youth, DID have Fuck You Money. Tucker grew up as the consummate rich kid. He quite obviously never wanted for nothing, toys, clothes, video games, etc. Unfortunately for Tucker, his Dad has a penchant for fucking random women and all of that fell apart.
In this case, the apple truly doesn't fall far from the tree, though I'll bet Dennis is 100x the player that Tucker ever was, or wishes he could be. But back to the initial thrust of my post...
That's clearly how young Tucker grew into a sociopath (or whatever diagnosis you prefer). His family was rich enough that he didn't answer to anyone outside of his woefully inattentive, dare I say negligent parents.
See, as I said, Tucker and I have a few things in common. Growing up, people always treated me like the "rich kid". I hated it. I absolutely LOATHED it. Tucker, in contrast, obviously reveled in it. In fact, his imaginary persona of Mr. Jock Douchebag, though utterly fictional, meshed so well with his wealthy upbringing that merging the two Tucker Maxes proved to be seamless.
Oh, and as an aside, though I refuse to admit that that douchebag Max has any talent at anything whatsoever, I will admit that he probably has an IQ around 115-120. Which, quite shockingly, makes him smarter than the average American.
But see, Tucker has this idea that he is possessed of some genre-defining, genius-level intellect. That he is one of those truly rare souls, a Mozart, a Da Vinci, a Chandrasekhar, who is going to forever alter the way that humanity thinks about whatever intellectual endeavor that he has chosen to dip his toe into the intellectual pool thereof this week.
And that’s where he ultimately fucked up. He thought that because he came from privilege, he was something special. He assumed that his decidedly modest abilities made him some sort of ubermensch. Oh, by the way, he’s not, in case reading between the lines isn’t your thing.
Let us see then… He’s not that smart. He’s not a captivating physical specimen, and never was. He admits of his own volition that he has an average-sized penis. He’s caustic, abrasive, and just a general douchebag. What did this guy really have going for him in order to cultivate the limited success that he has experienced? Why would any non-crazy woman beinterested in him?
As TATguy would say, “What could it all mean?”
I’ll tell you.
Tucker had an Army of Fanboys. That’s the ONLY thing that propped up the lying douchebag persona that he created and relished in so acutely to any significant degree. And now he has irrevocably relinquished that proverbial Ace-in-the-Hole.
Oh, Tucker, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You are the Anti-Midas. When King Midas touched something, it would turn to gold. When you, Tucker Max, get your grubby little mitts into anything, it turns to complete and total shiat. So you’ve got that going for you, right?
On that note, I am going to drink a few more beverages, smoke some herb, and read over the 80 or so posts that I skipped before I decided that I just HAD to chime in.
-YG
Oh, and TDG, Barry, etc. I don’t know who the fuck you guys are, but thanks for the compliments. As I mentioned, I am a fan of the work that you guys do as well. Who
Continued:
"...Who would ever have thought that mocking Tucker Max could turn into an exercise in one-upmanship among a group ofasual posters as to who can make the most funny (with a smidgen of realism) out of Tucker’s bullshit?
Certainly not I.
I shall close by saying that I’d be around this board more often, but life keeps me busy.
Oh, and blog has some of the most clever people of any that I have come across anywhere, in any context.
Auf Wiedersehn, Schwartzers."
I like reading YG's posts.
And Nils is fat.
And the Koala wears yellow jamies cuase he lent the pink ones to Tucker and he shat all over them.
And Japanese Guy is more interesting than listening to Tucker whine about how everyone except him screwed this movie up.
If anybody wants confirmation of what a weasel
Ryan Holliday really is, go read his review of Tucker's book-for a start, who uses somebody else's quote as their title?
RE: Tucker's new book.
If the publisher decides to drop him, is he under contract or can he do a DIY book and bus tour?
Fatty McFatfat fatted his way down to the fat store. "Hey, it's Fatso Fatty!" said the storekeeper. "Come to fat up some fats?"
"Bet yer fat fat!" said Fatty the fat. He fatted and fatted like no fat had been fatted before. Fat was on fat, and there was more fat by the other fat, and where the fat lay a-fatting, the fat heaped up in huge fattiness. "Hey Fats, need more fat!" Fatty said on a pause, only to dive back into the fat, fatting up and fatting out and fatting for fattiness' sake.
But no, it was only Nils.
"The fact that tucker had the guts to post all the positive and negative reviews for the movie is groundbreaking in itself."
Well if that isn't just false.
All links and posts about negative reviews were generally deleted. If anything was posted, it was out of context to make the reviewer look liked they were biased or just didn't know the movie.
The way the board treated reviews were like this:
Positive review:
Check out ___ and what they had to say:
Negative Review:
___ totally missed the point on what this movie was about ...
Tugger would shit on anything bad about the movie while linking to it, but would say "here's a great review..." for anything positive.
The fact that there were so many people blind to Tucker's BS doesn't surprise me, afterall his board demographics have been transitioning from 25-29 to 18-22 to 15-18 for years. All the smarter, older, wiser people abandoned the board years ago when it was overrun by the younger kool-aid drinking morons.
Ben Corman about Rudius Media on attentioncrash.net:
"It's true.
Rudius Media is getting mothballed while some things get sorted out. I'm also locking this thread because this board isn't the place to discuss it. But I wanted to respond because I didn't want the rumor mill to start pumping out every stupid insane theory possible either. While I appreciate that most of the posters here are children of the RMMB I'd like to move past that and onto something new. If you're just dying to know what happened and can't sleep at night I'd suggest emailing Tucker.
I'm working on my own thoughts / feelings / etc about Rudius Media and what it's meant to me over these past three years and it'll be on my site when I'm done writing it. There's nothing in the shutdown of Rudius Media that's supposed to be hidden but you have to remember that this company was made up of some really good people who showed up and made an honest effort every day. Being a part of that and having it shut down isn't the easiest thing to process or talk about.
For now, lets just move on."
Nothing would make me happier than to see Corman drown in a vat of feces.
Zero pity.
I'm the unemployed guy from last month. Well, one of them....weren't there a few?
I spent five years in undergrad and 3 in grad earning three degrees, working full time, and racking up $70k in debt to raise my sibling after losing our parents.
I grad last year and haven't been able to find a job since. We lost our home and I'm only writing this thanks to our one luxury... Cells.
These spoiled cunts tried to make a living founded on issues of hate and arrogance. Their failure makes me have a little hope that shit really does shake out in the end.
Now, if all the lying politicians and executives would get flaming herpes... My life will feel a little more tolerable.
Hahaha. I knew years ago that a business that relied on a bunch of idiots on the internet could never survive. It was only a matter of time.
Someone should email Tucker.
This board is as slow as ticket sales to ihtsbih
Tucker lost, we won, Nils fat
what more to say?
http://www.thebunnyblog.com/archives/that_stupid_lis.phtml
Digg Tucker Max quotes
Dawes the interviewer and big tug cock sucker on the tour bus videos writes his spin:
The film, while good, wasn’t good enough to generate the requisite word of mouth to make it a hit. The movie is funny and well-written with great performances, but, when all is said and done, the product was seen by a lot of people and still didn’t take off.
For two months, no one, including myself, could seem to acknowledge the fact that the movie might not garner momentous word of mouth. The idea that the film itself might not be enough was the big pink elephant in the tour bus… wearing a tutu, riding a unicycle, and juggling dildos.
Apparently, the film ITSELF wasn’t enough, because after 2 weeks and close to 100 thousand people seeing it, it seemed like the general populace was gently telling us: “We like you a lot, little independent movie… but we’re just not THAT into you….”
----- I don't think the public was gently telling you that your movie was good. LOL
Where did he write that?
Deconstructionism attacks the socio-economic matrix of a Nation State in a variety of subtle ways. It does not use frontal attacks where banners are raised and bugles sound, but inflicts a prolonged series of small, deep incisions that are carefully camouflaged and artfully inflicted in order to wound below the recipient’s perceptual horizon. Death by a thousand cuts.
The Deconstructionists first penetrated the protective outer fabric of our society through a myriad of seemingly insignificant little wormholes. They engineered localised paradigm shifts in established wisdom by appealing to the reflexive liberal angst with which our chattering classes are infected.
Then through these holes our victim culture was drip-fed a hallucinogenic broth of disinformation. This, together with the constant pornogrification of our history and our way of life, brought about a state of collective cognitive dissonance where every outrageous oxymoron and category error was and is absorbed without being subjected to rational analysis. We became morally obese, the fatted calf.
By effecting this sedition through innocuous pinpricks over a period of decades the Deconstructionists induced a terminal osteoporosis of that conceptual skeleton to which the sinews of a strong, functional society must be anchored. Thus it is inevitable that our weakened condition will only become fully apparent when something breaks, and by then both the will and the means to resist will have been sapped, and the complacent masses will find themselves unarmed and unorganised, naked in the face of the Jihadi or whatever other draconian ideology confronts them.
It is also worth noting that whilst the strategy of Deconstruction is (internationally) unitary its tactical mechanisms are legion, and although whilst in these letters I speak specifically of Britain, parallels sustain throughout the Western world. Hence those of you reading the following demonology from beyond these shores may well need to adapt it according to your particular circumstance…
ryan, quit posting.
Two young boys are snickering next to me on a couch. I can tell they're talking about me. It's annoying. What, do I have spinach in my teeth? They can't know who I am. No one ever knows me.
"Excuse me. Are you The Bunny?"
"Yeah. I am."
"Cool. I like your blog."
"Thanks."
That's it, I think. But then, I don't ever get recognized, so I don't know how that goes. I always imagine that when I write, the writings go out into the ether and hit maybe five or six people who read my stuff because they're bored, and two laugh at me and then the other three or four are just completely insouciant and forget my writings as fast as they read them. I think this not because it is what happens when I write, but because I suffer from the illnesses of the mental kind, which hurts and sucks.
But they're not done, the boys, not the problems. They want to talk more. They continue talking into my face.
"Did Tucker really do all those things you wrote in your list?"
Oh, the list. That stupid fucking list. How long was it up? Four hours in 2004? Have you read it? Everybody's read it. Tucker did this; Tucker did that. Stupid, stupid list. It's the only thing I've regretted writing, and yesterday I wrote about decapitating my grandmother. I only regret the list.
I think my excuse to take it down was: "My dad would be so mad at me if he knew I let someone treat me like that." I thought at the time he would give a shit. Funny how false the things we convince ourselves to be true are when we rub out reality with drugs for long enough a period of time.
Ever been haunted or stalked? Ever though someone was following you? Stupid list. Everywhere there's any "me" on the internet there's that fuckin' list. I don't read it. Drama between two addicts is only juicy if you're neither of the addicts, and if you're the pathetic one doing all the whining, it's not only an experience completely void of merit, it's sickening.
I have to say, though:
Say you're surfing the internet, and you read the sad, desperate ranting of a mentally ill girl in a relationship with a mentally ill boy--so mentally ill at that time, he's not sure there's much difference between her and a crash test dummy--a girl who's broke and unemployed, a girl who has no control over her identity, a bitch of a personality disorder that renders her completely bedridden/useless unless combined with an abuser and no place to go to get help that won't be a place she's treated like an inanimate object...
...and you say "Ha ha! She deserved it."
I mean, wow. What a piece of shit you are. Nobody deserves mental illness. It hurts and it sucks.
Edit: Just to clarify, I do not regret writing about my mental illness. I never will. Its the gutsiest thing I've ever done.
I regret whining about my mental illness.
Tucker and his team at every chance (bus tour, tmmb, blog) call out their fans as losers, made one eat shit off the ground, etc. But who listens to losers? No WOM when you are setting up fans to look like douches.
Ha ha! She deserved it.
^^ that was a funny poast
u r a v. good poaster, poast some more
tucker's bunny "Just to clarify, I do not regret writing about my mental illness. I never will. Its the gutsiest thing I've ever done."
after just whining about her mental illness a paragraph before. This is the type of quality person tucker attracts. They shit on everyone, but cry poor me when they get inevitably teabagged back.
My sympathy is reserved for those people who have actual problems like no hbo.
THE KOALA WONT LET ME WATCH HBO IT JUST KEEPS TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING AT ME AND I CANT NOT LOOK AT THE YELLOW PAJAMAS AND IT HURTS IT HURTS
One reason I laugh at tuggers downfall is because I was like him, up until age 15. I was a bully, talked shit, intimidated people. It wasn't until a couple people pointed it out to me that I realized I was a dick.
A girl told me around that time, "wow, you're mean." Sounds stupid, but that hit me like a brick. It was like those movie reveals, when the protagonists gets it.
I thought I was being cool, I got a response and attention from peers. But when I realized what a bully I really was, I was embarrassed.
Since then I have done a complete turn around and use my character flaw to sorta protect friends and stand up for people who are getting bullied because I like to fight and cause a ruckus LOL.
Seeing those videos of Dawes humiliating people was sickening. He thought he was some sort of Sasha Baron Cohen without the wit or social commentary.
So yeah I'm one of the people who find this shit tugger and his crew going through hilarious because I was fucking 15 when I was a prick. He's had enough time to reconsider and outright chose his mess.
yeah bunny, i am sure someone recognized you in public. that totally happened, bro!
hey guys from the idiotb (sry i'm not signing up after all the mod stories checking up on people's personal info) you should send those that want to talk shit ovah here!
Just post something like if you want to talk shit about Tucker go here ...
Those people can come here, moderation will be easier and you can go back to your regular programming.
And I can hear more dirt on tug-a-lug here and respond cause I'm not signing up on that board. I scared of Nils finding me..
The dude who ran Rudius Ben is telling people to email tucker if they want an answer about shutting down tmmb.
is this his way of fucking tucker in the ass?
"yeah bunny, i am sure someone recognized you in public. that totally happened, bro!"
It totally did. Stuff that happens in Imaginationland is just as real as stuff that happens anywhere else. Don't question her grip on reality!
Idiotboardconsultant,
I signed up over there, you're not missing much. And you won't get many people to come over here in vent, the board is comprised of about 65% Tucker true believers who still think everything he did/does is TOTALLY AWESOME; 30% people who might question Tucker, but who seem to fear that he is going to reappear and reveal this was all an attempt to expose the traitors in his midst and thus offer only the meekest of criticism; 4% who either don't care/honestly are trying to keep the online community of the RMMB going (without the "fanboys" so they claim, but with almost identical content); and 1% who are just flamers looking to attack Tucker.
In other words, it's just like the RMMB, only with less heavy moderation (so far). But a number of the people in charge, though not all, were some of the worst on RMMB. You wouldn't want their opinion anyway.
Idiotboardconsultant,
I signed up over there, you're not missing much. And you won't get many people to come over here in vent, the board is comprised of about 65% Tucker true believers who still think everything he did/does is TOTALLY AWESOME; 30% people who might question Tucker, but who seem to fear that he is going to reappear and reveal this was all an attempt to expose the traitors in his midst and thus offer only the meekest of criticism; 4% who either don't care/honestly are trying to keep the online community of the RMMB going (without the "fanboys" so they claim, but with almost identical content); and 1% who are just flamers looking to attack Tucker.
In other words, it's just like the RMMB, only with less heavy moderation (so far). But a number of the people in charge, though not all, were some of the worst on RMMB. You wouldn't want their opinion anyway.
To the guy who thinks Tuckster's website is worth something, ask yourself who would buy it at this point. And it will only get worse. Here's Alexa's breakdown of why his site got traffic:
Where people go on Tuckermax.com:
95.6% messageboard.tuckermax.com 4.4% tuckermax.com
http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/tuckermax.com
By closing his messageboard he cut of 95.6% of the traffic that visited his site. Check back to that Alexa link in about a week. That cute little blue line on the graph showing the ebbs and flows of Tucker's idiotic little world is going to pointing straight down. Then go check the place that told you the website was worth something and see what it says.
Tucker on the actor playing him, Matt who originally canceled his first meeting with Tucker and crew.
"Then after months of trying and failing to find Tucker, [we] called Matt and asked him to come in and read again. Matt wouldn’t do it, but agreed to take a meeting with me and feel the situation out.
This dude wasn’t doing shit since his show got canceled, who the fuck was he to tell me I had do a meeting?
Whatever, I swallowed my pride and remembered the policy Aaron Ray and Max Wong have always hammered into me: Take every meeting, because you never know what’s going to happen.
I drove down to Hermosa Beach with Bunny, and literally the first thing I said to him was:
“So, you’re too good to read for me?”
I was kidding with him (sort of), and Matt profusely apologized, and explained what happened.
Basically, even though he really liked the script, he said the Tucker character could be done two ways; one where Tucker is Tucker, but still ultimately redeemable and you love him (the way we are doing it), or another way where Tucker is just a fucking asshole and a douche.
He was worried that we were going to do the script the second way, and he didn’t want to be in a movie like that.
This post kinda rambled, and was more about me than about Matt. You’re just going to have to excuse me, I am producing a movie…that I wrote…based on a book I wrote…about my life…where I am played by an actor…who’s name in the movie is mine…but he’s not me…even though everyone in the world will know him as Tucker Max.
"You’re just going to have to excuse me, I am producing a movie…that I wrote…based on a book I wrote…about my life…where I am played by an actor…who’s name in the movie is mine…but he’s not me…even though everyone in the world will know him as Tucker Max."
Yeah, I'm pretty sure those who know Matt Whocry still remember him as Logan from Gilmore Girls, nothing more.
I'm really good friends with one of the mods on that new idiot board. They just made Savage Henry (good choice) from the old board a mod. And they made Brianh. Apparently, Brianh is spilling the beans behind the scenes on the old TMMB since Tucker stupidly made him a mod again before he shut it down.
My friend is going to call me. I will have some good shit for you guys soon.
^^^^I call bullshit.
Tucker quotes have been beaten to death, but here goes another:
"I said for years my writing was revolutionary, was going to be huge, book would be a hit, etc, then the book came out, and a bunch of people said the same things to me about the book that the idiots are saying about the trailer now...and what happened?
The book is fucking legendary. Already on a collision course with it's destiny as part of the American canon."
Even though his book is successful and nobody questions that, he can't even be reasonable and humble about its success. "Already on a collision course with it's destiny as part of the American canon" might be the funniest quote of all.
Quotable Tucker Max: who are you? Who goes to the trouble of taking screen shots unless they're planning on pursuing legal action? Is Tugger gonna get sued? Again?
Either that or you've foiled Darko's plan to get Tucker's message board postings throwing everyone under the bus off the net.
Either fucking way. Dude, good fucking job. I salute you.
I can't remember if I heard this in an interview or not, but didn't he give someone on the set a signed copy of his book?
Thats the douchiest idea for a gift
B/c I'm #1 on the best seller list, my publisher sent me a magnum of Cristal. Thank them, or ask why they think I'm a rapper?
haha why did it take so long for the publisher to send that? that was posted last week. I wonder if it had to do with that guy here. that would LAWLZZZZ
Does anybody know why Doug aka Prestor John or something got kicked off the board as a mod?
now that tucker's burnt out, this is going to become the place where the juniorest douchebags who get kicked out of juniordouchebagboard come to complain douchily, isn't it
Interesting side note: In the second episode of this season of The Office, they show Ryan reading IHTSBIH. (How has Tucker not shit himself over this yet?)
I can't decide if this is a subtle shout out or a subtle insult.
what do u mean tucker is burnt out? He's riding high on his #1 bestseller accomplishment? I mean fuck 12 million and the movie still out, he's on the paperback list bishes
ihtsbih movie is a pretty cool guy. eh bombed at the box office and doesnt afraid of anything.
"There are times when celebration is appropriate. Immediately after the first few steps is not one of those times. I'll pop the champagne when the box office numbers start coming in on the opening Friday, and we are projecting at a 25 million dollar opening weekend."
Bob Gosse got Shreveported by Tucker:
August 28, 2008
What more can I say about Bob Gosse? Other than the fact I thank God every day we were lucky enough to get him to direct the movie, I'm not sure. EVERY financier (except Darko Entertainment) questioned our selection of Bob Gosse as director on this movie, and now that we are finished shooting, I have to say it: I told you I was right about him! Not only was he the right pick to direct this movie, at this point I can't even imagine anyone else doing it, and keeping it together. Bob had the impossible job of containing and dealing with Tucker Max on his first movie, and he not only did it, he made a great movie in the process, and taught me a lesson I needed to learn. I haven't written about it because now is not the time and this isn't the place, but Bob and I had our issues during filming. That story - the one about the movie behind the movie - is very interesting and will be told in full one day, but I will say this now: Bob saved me from myself, and in the process helped me more with life than he did with the movie. And he directed the movie - which should tell you how much I have learned from Bob Gosse.
October 4, 2009
I know many of you are capable of thinking for yourselves, so play this game. Ask yourself:
Was Bob on the premiere tour?
Was Bob at any of the premieres, save the LA one?
How much press has Bob done during this process?
There is a reason he hasn't been involved in this movie since he showed everyone his directors cut, and answering those questions above can give you all the understanding you need of Gosse's attempts to spin the situation to help his career in the one interview he has done for this film (an interview he scheduled for himself through a contact with a friend).
Answering those questions above can give you all the understanding you need of Gosse's one interview he has done for this film. There is a reason he hasn't really been involved in this movie since he showed everyone his directors cut. I mean, it should tell you something when the director can't get basic facts right about his own movie--for example, Matt was cast LONG before we got to Shreveport, in fact he as cast before we even secured financing. It was Marika we cast when we were in Shreveport.
Look, Gosse has his own issues, and I don't care about them or want to discuss them beyond this post. They aren't relevant to me anymore, or to the movie, or to anything in the future.
-------------------------------------
Tucker is a fucking douchebag.
Doug didn't get booted... He has a life. One of the more respectable old posters. In the army now...
Fuck there was another question I was going to answer but I forgot... Brb
Hater revelator
Oh. The ihtsbih on the office was a purchased product placement for the movie. Yes the marketing geniuses thought that was worth a buy
Also brianh doesn't have any shit to reveal
For you new people at one point brianh was the tmmb equal to drex... However.. In order to avoid being eaten by nils.... I mean in order to outdouche Tucker... He started being a gossipy bitch and it caught up with him
He is best friends with doug mentioned above.... Or was..... Best friend tt met on a messageboard
We really were all young but still... All of us were maladjusted lonesome folks
Hater revelator
Also the list... Bunny does get recognized for it but only when she is]round tucker
I remember the day sh posted it. Awesomeness abounded. Mods kept deleting it. Members kept reposting it.
Bunny and tucker went into hibernation.
You guys habent seen a soap opera like buntuck
They are explosively batshittastic
"March 31, 2008
I will release all major versions of the script probably the week after opening weekend. Something like that, and Nils and I will write up a walk through of them, showing where the major changes happened and how we came about them. It'll be sort of like a forensic examination of how an idea becomes a script.
Tucker,
Thanks for posting all those versions of the script. I'm learning a lot about the process from you.
Think about this too... That list was written by erin not even a year into this.... Imagine what that list would look like noe.... Five yarslater
Highlights
Ok I just deleted. I'm not posting specifics unleone else does too so I don't takethehet.
If I post too much it Willie obvious whi I am... Seriously..
I know some of you arereadonths... Let us>pill now
.
Hater revelator
Ps letsall spill about the places we dint meet tuck... I'm not LA so I would spill la... Same for chicago ny texas nc and flor maybe ky if anyone knows any of~hat
>The ihtsbih on the office was
>a purchased product placement
>for the movie.
Is there a way to prove this? I sense more quotes
- quotable tucker max
hater revelator, feel free to share more details about the explosively batshittastic buntuck opera!
--former Trixie fan
you guys are retarded if you think that the mods are actually coming to this shitty blog to dish anything.
they are all kool-aid drinkers, they would never do that.
"...The book is fucking legendary. Already on a collision course with it's destiny as part of the American canon.
All those people who shit on the book are doing what now? Well, they shut the fuck up about the book because they can't say shit about that, so they are trying the same thing with the movie. And what is going to happen this time? They're not only going to be wrong again, they're going to be wrong in such a more profound and public way, because the movie is even BETTER than the book.
The movie is awesome. The movie is going to do amazing numbers and change the way comedy is made...
There are HUNDREDS of these quotes. Hundreds. They never end and they never cease to amaze.
He went out of his way to look foolish. It's like he was being raped by a herd of donkeys and decided to call a dozen film crews instead of 911.
C'mon, get to work. These nose hairs won't pluck themselves.
http://gawker.com/5034217/what-it-is-like-to-date-tucker-max
I have no idea if it is truly authentic, but above is a link to the aforementioned Bunny "list". Said "list" was a post in which she proportedly spilled all on her relationship with Tucker...while they were still dating no less. I remember when it came out on the boards and my uninformed opinion is that it is real. And sad. Especially…ummmm…the abortion part.
I wonder if Matt Cxuchry still would have signed on if he had read that post.
Yeah, that's it. It's actually also reposted in this very comment thread, eight or ten thousand comments upstream somewhere. It's another one of those things she posted, thought better of, deleted, and then Light went and fished it out of a google archive or something.
Ok, not in this same comment thread, just a previous post on the same blog:
http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/2006/01/angry-post-from-tucker-maxs-ex.html
"The ihtsbih on the office was a purchased product placement for the movie. Yes the marketing geniuses thought that was worth a buy"
I'm not sure if that's true. I don't work on the show, but let's just say I work "near" the show. One of the office crew members is friends with the Darko guys. It was a definitely a friend helping a friend.
What is super funny though is that BJ Novak who plays Ryan always tries to think of the douchiest things for his character to do--which includes reading Tucker's book.
It's such a subtle, meta joke--kind of like Mark Ebner really protesting Tucker's premiere in LA. It works on a lot of levels, all of them funny.
Tugger's movie only made $6,812 on Wednesday. That's just $52/theater across 132 theaters.
I'm amazed that this pile of crap is still in theaters.
Somewhere, Katy Johnson is walking around with a spring in her step.
The qoutable tucker max is great. Screen Shots and all.
Evidence that cannot be deleted. Hahahahahahah.
Cause you know if they ever bring the boards back that they are going to delete everything that makes Tucker look bad.
Does he have screenshots of Biscuits quotes?
Those are really good.
Ya hey quotable tucker max guy, you should definitely put up a biscuits section
I think it's funny that he's saying his hype for the movie was a bit hyperbolic, like it was a once-in-a-blue-moon type of ordeal, when his entire life is shrouded in hyperbole. Look no further than:
"The book is fucking legendary. Already on a collision course with it's destiny as part of the American canon."
"If this fails, it’ll be a failure of vision. It’ll mean that it was rotten from the beginning, and nothing any of these people could have done would have saved it."
- Tucker Max, August 28, 2008
"Do you people think I am making every decision on this movie? *beep* NO. If I was, I can guarantee you things would be going much different. But I'm not. So in the meantime, please forward your suggestions about spending money and booking theaters--which are often good suggestions, things I have said for six months--to the people who are making the really stupid marketing decisions that are *beep* my movie."
- Tucker Max, September 28, 2009
I've written this before, but I've personally heard BJ Novak that he tries to play Ryan (on The Office) as the most insecure, obnoxious douche possible. Reading Tucker's book fits in perfectly with that.
:crickets:
You nerds need to get out of your parent's basement and live a little. Everything that Tucker describes is exactly how life is for your typical college kid who isn't walking around like Screech. Drinking hard, fucking harder, and hanging with your bros afterward.
Tucker's book is Number 1; and his DVD will work its way up to No. 1 eventually as word of mouth spreads. You losers are the vast minority. Lots of people love Tucker's stuff. Don't ever count Tucker out. He is crazy smart and went to UoC and Duke law. There are lots of people who just didn't hear about the movie because Darko screwed things up on the marketing side.
Now, he's even more dangerous because you can imagine how much he learned from this whole experience. Tucker invented a whole genre of literature; and he will be back with a whole new genre in films. Pull out your maxi-pads and be a man for once. Tucker just treats sluts like they are asking to be treated. They beg him to fuck him--not the other way around.
Honestly, don't you miss those fanboys? The naivete, the delusion, the man crush. Oh, and Nils is really fat.
^^^ Dude, I'm a long-time hater, but your post has opened my eyes. How could I have been so blind to it all?! Clearly, Tucker is ahead of his time.
I'm totally jumping ship, from the 'USS Hater' to the 'HMS Tucker Rules'.
Fuck you haters, Tucker's the man.
Tucker has been freed from the shackles of POS warfare.
[/EveNerd]
This keeps getting funnier and funnier. Do you people realize that this is just a minor setback? I'm already working on new projects, yet you all are sitting here milking this for all it's worth. Get over it. Seriously. We are already hard at work making the most of this and moving on. Get a life instead of studying mine.
@10:37
"Do you people realize that this is...a minor? I'm already sitting here milking for all it's worth."
The depths you'll sink to! For shame, Tucker! For shame! And then you wonder why the media accuses you of promoting rape culture!
"This keeps getting funnier and funnier. Do you people realize that this is just a minor setback? I'm already working on new projects, yet you all are sitting here milking this for all it's worth. Get over it. Seriously. We are already hard at work making the most of this and moving on. Get a life instead of studying mine."
--richard kelly
Just so you guys know, this blog is now the top Google result for "douchebag."
Just so you guys know, this blog is now the top Google result for "douchebag."
not sure what version of Google you are using there pal.
Scoresman, got a tattoo.
Chelsea Charms has big tits.
Wouldn't it be sweet if that really was Tucker posting here? What a hypocrite, coming to a blog of losers and posting just like the rest of them.
In other words, that one Tucker guy is a loser. But Nils has the market cornered on fatness.
WHY IS THE KOALA NOT FAT IN ITS YELLOW PAJAMAS THEY SHOULD MAKE IT LOOK FAT THAT IS WHAT THE FAT PAJAMAS SHOULD DO WHEN THEY ARE YELLOW LIKE THAT BUT INSTEAD IT JUST TALKS IN MY HEAD AND MY NOSE IS BLEEDING WHILE IT TALKS AT ME WITHOUT BEING FAT I DONT UNDERSTAND
Nils may be fat, but Chelsea Charms has big tits.
This made me laugh. Put some of the more hilarious lines in caps for emphasis...
"Script leaked…sort of
March 31, 2008
I knew this was going to happen at some point, but with a TWIST:
A version of the script has leaked. You may end up seeing it somewhere. I’ve seen it, and here’s what you need to know:
IT'S NOT REMOTELY CLOSE THE SCRIPT WE ARE USING. The leaked script is Version 7. It was finished sometime in May of 2007. We are now on Version 12. That was finished in December/January of 2008. The changes from then to now aren’t little. Version 9 was almost an entire plot and structure rewrite. We did take a few individual scenes from Version 7, but that’s it. Version 7 is quite literally not the movie at all, not even half of the movie.
If you see it and want to read it, it’s up to you, but know that it is ALMOST NOTHING LIKE WHAT WE WILL END UP SHOOTING (it has major plot and story issues, which is why we did a COMPLETE REWRITE). But at the same time, there are also spoilers in there– IT'S NOT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE FINAL SCRIPT. If you read it, you’ll go into the movie and know a few of the scenes and situations. I know I prefer to go in fresh, but some people don’t care.
I love that of all things, the old script leaked. And why now, as opposed to earlier? I haven’t sent that version of the script out to anyone in months and months and months. THIS IS SO COMICALLY AWESOME ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVES. I can’t wait until people start accusing me of posting it to drum up interest, just like how I conspired with Katy Johnson to create a lawsuit against me in order to get press."
Where's the twist? That you're a lying sack of shit and your post is nothing more than hypocritical garbage. That’s not a twist, everyone saw that coming. You say you did a complete rewrite, but then not even a sentence later you say it’s not completely different from the final script. Not even a sentence later! That is "so comically awesome on so many different levels." I didn’t see the movie, but I did read the leaked script a while back. From what I have seen in the trailers, and quotes from the message board, it basically follows the same script I read. Not sure where the complete rewrite came into play.
Also, here is something I noticed. According to Tucker’s blog the movie wrapped in August 08. That was over a year before its release. I’ve never worked on a movie, and have no idea how long editing takes, but if they could have finished editing in a few months, couldn’t Tucker’s movie have come out before the Hangover? The Hangover’s release date was June 5th 2009. If they released the movie before the Hangover maybe it would have garnered more success instead of looking like the Hangover’s red headed stepchild.
Chelsea Charms may have big tits, but if her name was LUCKY Charms, Nils would eat her. Actually, he'd probably eat her anyways.
Ok I'm back. Because Tucker's book entered the #1 bestsellers list, the publisher is feeling more confident about leaving AFF as it is. How they will market AFF is based on the #1 bestselling status of the first book and ignore the film.
Mktg feels that the majority of buyers from the first book have no idea about the film. Since tmmb has gone down, the general public will not know about Tucker's failure.
So AFF can still do well in bookstores, airports etc. They are going to push that his first book was on the bestseller list, justifying "finishing first."
Tucker is pushing his book idea on the making of the film, but mktg sees this as contradicting his fratire, cool as fuck image. Of course, it is Tucker so he is in constant correspondence about how great an idea he has, how it will change hollywood because of his insights...
The publisher believes that while they won't sell as many copies as the first, AFF still has legs and potential profits. Even if they have to deal with Tucker and his incessant calls. Since the movie is done for, Tucker is all about the book(s) now and really pushing the #1 bestseller thing this week.
One thing about Tucker is he is persistent.
Yeah but even if he gets a deal he still needs to actually write something. He can't do that. He'd have to dig an actual work ethic out of his ass or wherever he stuck it like a piece of used gum back in high school or whenever.
I don't think Tucker has a problem with drive and ambition. imo he worked his ass off for the film, just worked in complete ignorance of experts and logic, but still A for effort LOL
Didn't Tucker at some point imply that he leaked the script that was referenced about a dozen posts up?
You can never trust anything that lying shitsack says.
"drive and ambition"
These are not the same as a work ethic. Writing a book doesn't happen by itself, it means sitting down and plugging determinedly away for a looong time, without allowing any flashy lights or shiny objects or bouncy boobs to distract. That's exactly the opposite of Tucker style drive. He has to be where the action is, he has to be in the middle of the swirling vortex of activity, regardless if what he's doing is contributing positively or not. That's not the sort of thing that lends itself to book writing.
Also, this has come up before as regards the stories he wrote to add to his book when it got published. They pretty much sucked. The only "good" stuff he wrote was when he was just spouting bullshit to buddies. He hasn't done any real writing in years - the screenplay is the big test, and it sucked; instead of actually being an integral story on its own, of some quality, it cannibalizes stuff he's already done and hopes nobody notices.
He got lucky once, failed to focus and train to get more chances to get lucky in the same way, instead just kept drawing over and over again from that same first lucky strike. He can't do that forever.
I suspect Tucker has a horrible work ethic. The script is an excellent case in point; there was an apparent lack of effort at transforming the short stories into a real coherent plot. Similarly, his previous attempt at a sequel (AFF) was rejected by the publisher, which may reflect a half-hearted effort. He spent most of his time online, though that may change now that he's without a message board.
04.19.05 / The Crazy Show
Every 28 days I lose my mind. I go insane.
I guess I have bad PMS. The real kind, the type doctors used to proscribe speed for, and now give you some well-marketed pastel punch card with pills called phasafem, or gynocare, or premafree. The logo is usually a whimsical figure of a woman dancing with flowers. You’ll see it on the little socks they put over the stirrups to keep your feet from getting cold. The commercial has ballerinas in it, and in the end of it, while they’re rattling off things like “may cause anal leakage,” a middle aged woman rides a bike on a long dirt road. Wheeeeeee!!! My period rocks! Look, no hands!
Well I don’t take that shit, because I’ve never been a pill-taker. I don’t even like to use aspirin. And I’m not really observant, so every 28 days it is a big surprise when the PMS comes. Honestly, I am surprised every god damned time. Take last week’s bout; I had no idea it was going to come. I was not expecting to go insane, though I had already done this a couple hundred times.
I don’t really chart my periods per se. That seems too anal to me, one of those small details in life that only people with ulcers are really meticulous about. It’s like health insurance, or a valid driver’s license, or the last half of the SAT’s. Who has need for these things? Why should I answer all these annoying questions when I can be daydreaming about sex and making pretty pictures with all of these dots on the answer sheet? Why should I know when my period is coming when not even Mother Nature knows? Some things just can’t be controlled.
But the problem here is that the insanity isn’t a snappy changeover. The curtain to the Crazy Show opens an inch at a time.
Monday: I have a meeting with Tucker, my ex-boyfriend who I have an ambiguous friendship with, to discuss this week’s rendering for my children’s book. I rise early, 11:30am, and for some nebulous reason, I don’t feel like showering. I toss on the jeans I wore the day before. I cannot find a bra, and decide that the whereabouts of my bras (2) is something that cannot be controlled, thus I should put on the dirty, V-neck sweater I found beneath the jeans without one.
Tucker arrives to pick me up. We go to lunch at a sushi restaurant, where I eat three rolls by myself and get really pissy about the fortune in my cookie. When we discuss my drawings, I find his criticism to be harsh, but vow not to let it get to me.
Tucker takes me back to my apartment. For some indiscernible reason, I decide to drink an entire pot of coffee. On the last cup, I empty my box of equal. There is more at the Starbucks around the corner, and there is also a really hot Spanish Barista there between 4 and 9pm. So for some unapparent reason, this compels me to go to Starbucks after consuming an entire pot of coffee, for more coffee. I am not wearing a bra, and there are zoom-zoom sweat stains in my already dirty sweater. I bring my sketchpad along.
I return from Starbucks having made no progress in my sketchpad. In fact, the only progress I have made is the declaration that I am a total hack who should never draw. I also have a very bad head ache, and this must be from all the coffee I drank. Why did I do that?
I spend the remainder of the night on my makeshift couch. I decide to berate myself for not working. I usually work all day, every day, only breaking to masturbate or dote on my dog. My inner monologue sounds like this:You have WORK to do! You’re LAZY! and for good measure I throw in: No one will ever love you! I kill these harsh thoughts by watching episodes of The Family Guy. That Stewie is a hoot.
Tuesday: I rise early again. Noon, I think. I go and make another pot of coffee, but have to dump it out when I remember that I have no equal. Instead of going to a store to buy equal, which is way too confusing, I factor in the permutations of strange occurrences that could distract me on the way there and back, and, for some imprecise reason, I decide I go to Starbucks for some coffee in my leopard print pajamas. Later, I am very embarrassed by the pajamas.
I try to do some sketching, but can’t, because I have absolutely no talent, and no one will ever love me. I decide that this is the fault of Tucker.
Oh, it’s all your fault, you mean son of a bitch. You and your hefty criticism of my Meerkats. I won’t call you all day. Shit, I won’t ever call you again. Fucker. Yeah, that’s right. I won’t even call you Tucker any more. I’ll just take the ‘T’ off and call you “Fucker.” “Fucker Max,” ha ha! Wait, after I take the ‘T’ off I have to add an ‘F.’ Yes, that’s right. Take the ‘T’ off, add the ‘F,’ and then I can call you “Fucker Max.” Victory is mine, “Fucker Max!”
I suddenly desire copious amounts of ice cream. Not just any kind of ice cream will do, certainly not the frozen yogurt I usually eat. Only Ben and Jerry’s will suffice. I go to the convenience store around the corner in my leopard print pajamas (the pajama embarrassment registers later) and hover in front of the ice cream cooler so long that condensation appears in the other side of the glass from my body heat.
Cherry Garcia or Oatmeal Cookie? Cherries or oatmeal? Shit. What do I want? God dammit, why is this so hard? Cherry Garcia or Oatmeal Cookie? Fuck!
When I get back to my apartment, I decide it will be much nicer to eat my ice cream in bed. This is indeed nice, and for no clear reason, I call Fucker Max to tell him so.
“Gorilla?” [This is my nick name for him]
“Yes, Bunny.”
“I like dee ice cream.”
“Otay Bunny. I have to go.” [Annoyed, ‘I’m busy writing a book’ voice]
“Otay Gorilla.”
“Goobye Bunny.”
“Goobye.”
Well, that was a rather brief conversation. I guess Fucker Max is too good to chat with me. I continue to eat ice cream until I feel as if I am going to barf. I attribute the barfing sensation with Fucker Max, and decide that I won’t call that bastard ever again.
I clean off my cluttered desk to draw some more. Nothing seems to be coming out in the way of inspiration. As it is now 4pm, I decide to go to Starbucks to get more coffee and flirt with the Spanish Barista, which will surely get the creative juices flowing. I change into my dirty jeans and sweater. Yes, this is the same combo El Barista saw me in yesterday, but he won’t notice, will he? What about this coffee stain on the chest? Where is my bra? Oh fuck it all.
At Starbucks, while sitting at a table drawing flying squirrels, I begin to cry at the lyrics of a Billie Holliday song. This is odd? I shake it off and go back to the squirrels, but later I think to myself, it’s a crazy mixed up world, and I don’t fit into it. I don’t belong he re.
I go back to my apartment and take a light, five hour nap. When I awaken, I decide it is time to really buckle down to drawing. Half a raccoon later I abandon art altogether because I am clearly a talentless hack in need of a menial desk job.
I eat some more ice cream and watch late night television. This is when it occurs to me that Fucker Max broke my heart. I decide to take this up with him in a series of despondent Emails, during the writing of which I cry. Later I am not sure why I cry. I broke up with him a year ago, and I am not sorry about the decision.
My phone rings. It is Fucker Max:
“Bunny, you have PMS.”
“No I don’t.” [Light goes on in head] “Oh, yeah. Maybe you’re right,” as if drinking four pots of coffee in two days is a normal occurrence.
“Bunny, you get in bed and go seepy.”
“Otay, Gorilla.”
“Otay.”
“Goonight.”
“Goonight.”
I fall asleep, spooning with my puppy in my leopard pajamas.
Okay. Let’s see. No more coffee, Bunny, because you can’t drink coffee when you have PMS. It’s bad for you. And you have to stay away from those sad CD’s you listen to. Let’s make a list: No David Gray, no Cowboy Junkies, none of Dave Matthew’s last three albums, and absolutely positively no Smiths. You are, under no circumstances, allowed to listen to Morrisey.
I fall asleep with Morrisey in my head. I tear up, slightly. He’s human; he needs to be loved.
Wednesday: I rise in a funk. It is way too early for me to be awake (9am), but puppy needs to pee. I take her out in the leopard pajamas, and get a coffee on the way back to the apartment. Surely one cup won’t hurt my PMS.
I consider putting the jeans and sweater combo on, but opt to draw in my pajamas all day. Why not? I have no boss. To inspire myself to draw, I watch a few episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants. I desire more ice cream, procure it from the freezer and notice that the level is dropping rather quickly. Much, much too quickly considering the carton has thousands of calories in it.
I try to draw, but it is no use. I should be fitted with prosthetic hands so that the eyes of the world will never be tortured by my hideous attempts at drawing. I go back to the bed, where, for no perceptible reason, I decide that watching the full length SpongeBob movie will surely inspire me. I eat more ice cream. Halfway through the movie I call Fucker Max.
“Gorilla.”
“Yes, Bunny.”
“Whatcha doin’?”
“Watching dee television!” [Annoyed, ‘I am watching ESPN’ voice]
“You want to cuddle?”
“No, Bunny! You are naughty in your face!”
“Who will cuddle me?”
“Nobody.”
“You go to Hell!”
“Otay, goobye!”
“Goobye.”
Since he outright refused to cuddle with me, I decide that he is a malicious bastard. I vow to never call him again.
I put my Ipod on and listen to songs on shuffle while I try my hand at drawing once more. This doesn’t go well. I decide that this is a coffee emergency, the likes of which I have not seen before. I really really really really need to make a pot of coffee. I do this, but throw the pot out when I realize I have no equal. I go to Starbucks in my leopard pajamas and Ipod (embarrassment still hasn’t registered). As I have not washed my hair in days and smell like a block of Havarti cheese gone bad, El Barista does not greet me with his usual flair. I do not care because I am deep within the tortured mind of David Gray...
Can’t tell the bottle from the mountain top. No, we’re not right.
We’re not right, are we, Dave? No one loves us. Who will cuddle us? Oh, someone kill me.
Back at the apartment I flop onto my bed/couch. I nap for seven hours, and then watch television until it occurs to me that I should call Fucker.
“Gorilla?”
“Yes, Bunny!” [Annoyed, ‘there is a fetus on her way here to fuck me’ voice]
“You busy, Gorilla?”
“Yes, Bunny. You go seepy, otay. You will feel much better soon.”
“I jus’ woke up.”
“Watch Finding Nemo.”
“Oh, yes, disin’ is a good idea.”
“Yes, you have not seen disin’ movie yet.”
“Otay, I go watch Finding Nemo.”
“Otay, goobye!”
“Goobye.”
I slide the Finding Nemo disc into my DVD and hit play. I decide to scratch and kiss my dog while the coming attractions are playing.
What’s that crusty stuff on your nose, Maxie? Is that ‘ring around the snout?’ What the… is that what I think it is? Did you get the ice cream carton out of the trash and lick it clean? Fuck, did I eat an entire carton of ice cream in two fucking days? I pinch a thigh, and vow to never eat again.
Finding Nemo begins. Two clown fish are celebrating their new Anemone/home they have purchased so that there will be room for all their hatchlings when they come. It’s a touching scene. They look in on their sleeping eggs and pick out names for them all. A minute later, a barracuda swoops in and eats all but the father and one egg.
I am startled. I am aghast. What? What the hell is this shit?
The father discovers the last remaining hatchling. Oh God. This is…
The father weeps and tenderly pets his hatchling. Oh [choke, sniff], God. I…
The father vows to always keep the hatchling safe… Oh [snort, gurgle] ahawhawhawhawhawhaw...
Four minutes into Finding Nemo, I turn the movie off. I am bawling. I decide to call Fucker.
“Gorilla!” [sniff]
“Yes, Bunny. What’s wrong?”
“Oh Gorilla! [snort, cough] The mommy fish got eaten and all her babies got eaten too there was this horrible barracuda and he ate every fish and egg in the Anemone and left only the father and this one egg who is probably Nemo but I had to turn it off because I am crying so hard I can’t go on and watch anymore its horrible this movie its torture…”
“Otay, Bunny. Stop. Calm down.”
“But it’s horrible. The fish are all dead!”
“Sssshhhhh… Stop crying.”
“Its so sad.” [sniff, sniff]
“Otay, Bunny. You go seepy. It will help your face.”
“Goobye.”
“Goobye.”
I hang up the phone believing that no one in the whole world loves me. I decide to check my Email to see if anyone has even bothered to write me. There are nearly a hundred messages of praise from people who read my blog. But, for some indistinct reason, this doesn’t mean that I am loved at all. Clearly, I should drink more coffee to assuage the pain of being uncared for. I go to Starbucks in my leopard pajamas (not yet).
While passing a Subway Sandwich shop, it occurs to me that I haven’t eaten anything but ice cream and coffee for two days. I decide that sustenance will help my condition. The kindly sandwich artist takes no apparent notice of my leopard pajamas. Also, as the whole place smells of cheese, my odor goes undetected. I feel at home there. The sandwich artist makes me a delicious sub, which I take back to my apartment and eat. As my body is lacking nutrients, this feels good.
For some ambiguous reason, I go back to Subway to get another sandwich. I fall asleep to episodes of The Family Guy with the sandwich in hand. In the night, I catch puppy nibbling at the sandwich.
Thursday: I awaken with a black olive on my forearm. I am not feeling well. I attribute this to eating 1.5 feet of Subway sandwiches in a sitting. I go to the bathroom and vomit, and after I clean up the mess, a horrendous ache arises in my lower belly.
AHA! Cramps! AHA! The light at the end of the tunnel! I’ve made it through.
I check my cell to see if anyone has even bothered to call a talentless hack like me. There are 27 voicemails from my friends and family. I am loved once again.
I feel great until it hits me that I’ve been wandering unshowered through my neighborhood in the same leopard pajamas for a week. But, its okay because I'll never go crazy again, right?
@ 1:20
Sorry for being repetitious. I started my post, took a call, and then finished. We apparently agree on Tucker's work ethic being reflected in his script.
What was the previously rejected manuscript for AFF like? I would imagine it laboriously copied the same formula at "Beer in Hell", though I suspect it was more ponderous, vain and "gimmicky".
There were two versions of the script floating around, both penned by Tucker. One was not the version they shot the other was. Both were horrible. And both, before being exposed were touted by Tucker as being "amazing", "revolutionary", etc. The version most people read, the one on Gawker, was the the version that ended up being filmed. As with most things, Tucker's protestations were equal parts lying through his teeth and completely unjustified bravado - Tucker would go so far as to later claim that he deliberately leaked the "old" version as part of is brilliant marketing strategy.
To those that read both scripts, the old/non-shooting version was the one that opens with a job interview in a restaurant. Basically, that version was a giant "FUCK YOU" by Tucker to everyone he felt ever held him back or didn't recognize his transcendent brilliance: parents, the law firm that fired him, teachers, Hollywood. It is an absolute abortion, there are flashbacks everywhere, needless cutscenes and basically looks like the work of the rank amateur Tucker was. As a script, it was horrible, as a peek into Tucker's psyche, it is AMAZING! The depths of his insecurity are front and center and truly a sight to behold.
The script version that was shot was the one that most people saw (though the film had some minor changes, but nothing that doesn't happen in the normal course of filming). It is better from a pure technical sense, there is some semblance of plot; but that is only because you can tell Nils and Tucker bought a copy of Scriptwriting for Dummies and followed it to the letter. The script itself is still just a cut-and-copy version of what Tucker deems the "Best Of" his stories, literally cutting them straight from the book/online and not even bothering to update the jokes (Magic Johnson? Scott Peterson? I was actually surprised not to see some reference to the Weakest Link). Like I said, this is the version that most people saw/read and declared horrible, Tucker was just trying to bluff his way out of being exposed.
Well I don’t take that shit, because I’ve never been a pill-taker. I don’t even like to use aspirin.
Riiiight, Bunny. Alcohol? Cocaine? Those you'll use at levels even Lindsay Lohan finds excessive. But not aspirin, because that's bad, and you live life au natural.
Dear God, Bunny is batshit crazy. Oh yeah, and a completely talentless hack. Guess that's what the attraction between she and Tucker is: two people with no talent who consider themselves brilliant.
How did he get his first book, film and bus tour done if not with some work ethic? But me saying that he has a work ethic, doesn't mean he can't be a complete hack as well. There are tons of things that Tucker has failed at, but to say he is lazy and not productive is inaccurate.
WTF why would bunny write a children's book??? What is she gonna teach kids? How to be a whore victim?
Bunny's book was meant to be an instructional guide to children with crazy mothers. It was filled with practical anecdotes, like calling 911 when mommy is sleeping on the floor in a pool of vomit. Another chapter deals with going to the school nurse when you break out in a rash after using mommy's towel.
I wasn't going to mention this, but fuck it: Salman Rushdie was the first one to say the words "nobel" and "children's book" to Bunny in the same sentence. I scoffed at him, thinking he was just being nice, but then the smell of Bunny's rotting crotch probably made him delirious.
-Grant
Who pays for Bunny's DVDs and food? All she does is draw half a sketch a day, apparently. Is anyone in the Rudius Blog Cartel useful?
Bunny is some sort of web designer I think. At least good enough at it to be able to earn her living that way.
And keep in mind that bunnyblog entry is a repost from years back.
i hate when ppl say "and keep in mind" like a fuckin school principal or nun.
"Ok I'm back. Because Tucker's book entered the #1 bestsellers list, the publisher is feeling more confident about leaving AFF as it is. How they will market AFF is based on the #1 bestselling status of the first book and ignore the film."
Won't this be shelved right next to IHTSBIH with the new cover that says "Now A Major Motion Picture?" Are they counting on returning fans or new people to buy AFF?
Thanks for sharing the book information. I know nothing about publishing so this is really interesting.
i agree. I remember Tmax way back with his website and forgot about him until the film. I didn't even know he had a book out.
But reading through the production blog and biscuits and others' analysis has been great and very educational.
To be honest I felt like a learned quite a bit just from business standpoint. I actually want to see the movie, but haven't found a real torrent yet.
Hater Revelator is not telling the truth.
Doug (Prester John) did not get banned, but did have mod privileges revoked. It was because of remarks made about gays saying that they were all pedophiles and other homophobic/racist posts. Bunny got sick of him and Tucker let her ban them. It is true that Doug is in the army.
BrianH doesn't have that much to reveal that is recent. There has not been anything gossip-worthy on the mod board since Doug was banned.
Bunny is not a very good web designer. She's definitely got artistic talent, but that doesn't always translate.
There's no way that Office spot was paid for. It was on the screen for, like, two seconds and the actual title was readable for less than a second. You would have only recognized the book if you've already read it. That god awful font is what stands out.
And keep in mind that Nils is fat.
Nils IS fat. People, trust me on this- DO NOT keep emailing me about this.
It angers me that Bunny was making light of that subject. I have a crazy mom and dad and my childhood, nay, my life has been absolutely terrifying, confusing, guilt ridden, etc because of their mental illnesses.
I am more and more put off with her by everything I read on this board. Erin, shame on you for mocking something so sensitive.
Now, to teach you a lesson I'm gonna go write book on what to do when someone with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder attach themselves to painful things for attention... Like if you notice someone writing about cocaine and cutting and then delete the post, don't give e-sympathy or attention but rather forward the original screenshot to the county sheriff's office for a wellness check...stuff like that...
Granted Bunny has about 1000 different mental disorders. But she has no interest in getting "better". Instead, her blog posts are nothing more than an attempt to get attention, she "shares" the details of her mental illness only to the extent that she can get up on an echair and shout "HEY LOOK AT ME! I HAVE PROBLEMS!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!" There is no attempt at healing or catharsis, she only wants people to give her sympathy and/or attention. I feel for her, she obviously has a shit-ton of issues, but she has no interest in getting "better". She only shares her issues to the extent that they provide her with attention.
This whole Prester John / BrianH saga is interesting. So, what they deal with those two. The last I heard, they were both Green Berets...
hater?
Where repeat where is task force 34? The world wonders.
@6:30
That's my fave post in 9 gazillion pages. I normally hate fat jokes but that one got me.
I crown thee king of doucheblog.
From Nils's twitter:
"See Saw Run. See Saw Flop. Don't See Saw. See Paranormal Activity. Like everyone else."
Saw 6's ONE DAY total: $6,820,000
Beer in Hell's ONE MONTH total: $1,387,288
Bunny's "problems" are all self-diagnosis based on watching Dr. Phil and Psych101. The truth is that she just discovered that declaring herself subject to half of DSMIV means she can perpetually play the victim and never take responsibility for her bad decisions. As someone who has genuinely had problems (diagnosed) and worked very hard to overcome them in therapy and life - she is extremely annoying. She gets more out of being "sick" than being healthy. Namely, she gets excuses and pity.
She provoked the BrianH thing around the same time that she'd run to Tucker every five minutes at bars to complain that some guy grabbed her ass or said something mean to her. At that point in time, she was attempting to hold onto Tucker by making it out like everyone wanted her. Dambee, BrianH, etc.
Bunny obviously has legitimate issues. But who knows what those are when she keeps manufacturing drama and illness to grab sympathy.
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BunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunny
BunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunny
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BunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunnyBunny
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Ok, enough of the stupid bitch now
Tucker Max Douche Mix
Boy, that 'Paranormal Activity' sure is becoming a 'black swan' event in Hollywood, just like Tucker predicted. It was so sneaky of him to change the title of his movie just before releasing it. He's really taking Hollywood by storm, just like he predicted he would. All you haters can suck it.
Man, without Tucker's ridiculous postings on his board everyday, it's like he's cut off the oxygen supply to this blog. Could say this place has been douched.
I don't know what the bigger story is, tucker's movie bombing or what glen beck may or may not have done to that poor girl in 1990.
I'm just not sure anymore.
http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/
^^^
mmmmmm yes good point but you are missing one vital fact. Nils is fat. I'll explain this in full later, trust me.
Hahaha, yeah, Paranormal Activity is predicted to have a 20 mil opening weekend, just like Tucker wanted. As always, Tucker Max Failed, while others succeed.
^^^ Dude what? Paranormal has been out for 4 weeks already. I know the time zones are different for eveyone but where are you - Middle Earth?
But yes - this movie is trackng EXACTLY how Tukcer wanted his to - open small, great local reviews, word of mouth, viral marketing, no big studio activity them bam -it hits tipping point and suddenly its expands wide to huge acclaim and makes millions. Only difference between Tuks and this movie? His was a pile o steaming bile.
Can we shift the discussion to Nils' fatness? I don't think this has been adequately addressed.
^^^ 20 million wide release opening weekend. See http://movies.msn.com/the-wrap/paranormal-tops-box-office/story/?GT1=28101
anyone know when the wide theatre release is coming for the movie?
So the IHTSBIH movie review thread on the idiot board was surprisingly critical of Tucker, the movie, and the marketing scheme. Not surprisingly, the mods locked the thread. Looks like Tucker is still pulling the strings. Same old RMMB.
Posting here has slowed to a trickle as Tucker has effectively gone underground and refused to engage in debate or try to defend himself publically. His call out threads on his old board were only successful when the person being flamed continued to post to try and defend themselves, and that approach only served to further frenzy the mob. It's what they wanted, and Tucker knows this.
The movie bombed totally and was a huge fail. It is not the kind of thing he can explain away. There was a groundswell of criticism from foes and friends alike, so he shut down his boards and removed himself (mostly) from the public eye. There is nothing he can say that won't provide more fodder for his detectors, so the best strategy is to wait out the storm and try and reemerge in 6 months, a year, who knows.
I just have a feeling that we have not heard the last of this douchebag (liver failure from 15 years of drunken debauchery notwithstanding). After all, he’s done this before. He shut down the boards for months several years b ack. I thought the user base could never recover from something like that, but it did. Until Tucker reemerges or other former TMMB mods provide more behind the scenes revelations, this comment thread is out of fuel (for now).
Also, I will say that I was startled to see that Nils (aka DrunkasaurusRex (sp?) aka Drex) was so fat. Prior to the movie, publicly posted pictures/avatars of him were few and far between, and his board persona had always made it out to seem like he was some kind of badass, good-looking asshole that got all the girls. Ummmm...maybe in college, but if so time has not been kind. I mean, why would he frequently rip on others’ appearance if his own physique was in such rapid decline? Irony at its finest.
www.griffinwrites.com is still updating with terrible ramblings.
Is Griffin douchey enough to carry the douchebag torch until Tucker emerges from exile?
One of the worst paragraphs I've ever read:
"Driving through the tail-end of morning rush hour had a very different feel. Whereas back home I would be on auto pilot – eyes half open, lost endlessly in my own thoughts to the cartoonish soundtrack of radio dj chatter as I took the same roads, to the same parking spot, to the same office I had a thousand times before. Instead, here I was gripping the steering wheel with two hands, my eyes frantically darting between the GPS, street signs and traffic. I navigated the unfamiliar surroundings, in an unfamiliar van switching lanes to gain time and taking turns too late and too fast. Thankfully the morning commuters were there to compensate, hardly spilling a drop from their coffees as they braked to avoid me, too tired to bother laying on the horn."
hmm
hmm
yup ... i dont care
This blog has lost its purpose. With Tucker gone into hiding, we have no material to work with. Picking at scraps like Griffin is sad. He's not even 1/1000th douchey as Tucker.
I'm a little depressed. I'm going to miss you guys and girls.
^^nice try, tucker. so when is that wide release coming? will you sign my crossbow?
Tucker's too busy finishing negotiations on his private jet to sign your crossbow.
Hey Brahs,
I was just at the Tmmb and the fucker has been shut down! Apparently it has run it's course!
I have been way out of the loop lately. I took Tucker's advice and quit the MBA program I was in to become a professional dancer. It hasn't been going too good (yet) so I have been picking up a lot of extra shifts at Wendy's.
Is the movie out yet? I bet that shit is blowing up right now! Whew, fuckin go Tuck! This movie is apparently going to redefine civilization as well know. Imagine people talking to to eachother with their minds, very universe being recalibrated through his genius and we are only getting a taste in our heads of where this is going. Oh, and I hear Tucker #2 actually shits on the floor IN THE VERY MOVIE ITSELF. This so far beyond funny it will haunt people for the rest of their lives. Just mentioning it in any circumstance will have people howling hysterically untill their eyes bleed. Tuck #2 is gonna be recognized as the next Al Pacino for this role and rocket him to super ultra star status. I bet he is on knee's right now sucking his dick out of gratitude.
End part 1 hold on dudes
while we are all aware of how badly this movie has done, and then caused t-bag's forum to shut down...why does nobody seem to wonder what may not have happened with Glenn Beck and that poor little girl in 1990? I just don't understand.
http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/
"hilarity ensues"
Continued...
I would have to say IHTSBIH is the best book I have ever read, favorite of the two (other was James and the Giant Peach in the fourth grade, man that peach was HUGE). Did you guys know that this Masterpiece created a whole new genre of literature? Apparently no one till then had thought of putting sex and drinking stories into blog-like passages and selling it in a actual bookstore. Fuck dudes, Tucks lethal weapon is his mind! That dude is beyond talented, like fucking Alexander the Great, Abraham Lincoln, Jay Z, Michael Bay all fucked eachother and had a kid talented. Despite having no education or practical experience in the fields of writing or film making he OWNED them on his first try and they are now part of the western canon.
BUT did you even know that Tucker is the least talented of his friends? and if they were not happy leading ordinary lives they could be doing exactly what he is doing? Just think, who are these people? How did they come together and why are we not keeping them at a secured location with a chalk board so they can hash out their ideas? If all they came up with ever 5 years was on par with "man in movie takes a shit on floor", the human race would be set.
End of part 2 Stay with me brahs...
Continued...
I can't complain too much, Tuck has hired some extremely talented people right off his message board. These people's talent must have been attracted to T Dog's talent like magnets to a super ultra Alpha magnet. Just having strangers post on a board must be a very good way to find the best people willing to work for no pay untill the IHTSBIH cash cow pops its tits with fuck you money. I tell ya as soon a I get my phone connected I'm gonna get in on the ground floor buying Rudius stock.
Peace bitches!
last!
Whoa Brahs...
Just looking over the site. Who was the guy in the Opie and Anthony show? Tucker's stunt double? Did someone put a hit out on Tuck? Was he home with the fleu?
I know that wasn't Tuck because that guy was neither good looking nor articulate. The REAL Tucks commanding Alpha pressence would have had Opie sucking his dick with a martini glass resting on top of his head while Anthony fawningly licked his balls. THAT guy looked like he just got lost at a boat show.
I mean if Tuck WERE that guy it would seem incredibley unlikely he had bagged hundreds of chicks or had any kind of intellect or quick wit. That would mean some kind of persona had been created to make it look as if there were a lot more to him than there actually is. If he WERE that guy, which he obviously isn't.
The whole thing... Stunt doubles... Is rediculous.
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