The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,918 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 11201 – 11400 of 15918 Newer› Newest»Y'know what I think? I think Tucker is going to not react at all. Not publicly anyway. Not say anything. Not post anything. Nothing. For a week or so. Then he'll be all, "yeah I partied SO HARD man and got SO DRUNK it's not every day you get a movie opening nationwide I'm just happy I did it man, I can check that off on my list of things to accomplish in life and move on to newer and better things"
and never again will we see or hear any sign that the box office receipts mattered to him in any way at all. He'll just pretend and lie and act like he's getting away with it.
"Be serious. Have you seen this? The deciding factor at this point is whether people liked it enough yesterday to drive people to see it today."
Ryan "I suck max's dick" holiday said this in response to Biscuits...
What's that Ryan? Actually...the daily average went down from Friday over the weekend.
Of course, they locked the thread too. I mean, you can't have truth or anything intellectual actually going on over on that board.
"Tugger's dad definitely has money. Didn't Tugger attend an expensive private high school?"
Had. The wife got about all of it in the divorce. I heard he only has 1 restaurant left.
Just a question to people with movie knowledge . . .
1. Did this even cover the cost of the film prints?
2. When does the money for the cost of prints get paid? Up front as they are being made?
3. When do theaters take their cut? Right as people walk in the door?
4. How low of a turnout would allow a theater to dump the movie for something more profitable (like anything at all)?
5. Did Otto purposely choose this weekend to coincide with his birthday despite the fact that everyone told him it sucks to open in late September?
@2:03, I hereby christen you "bad idea guy". Of course, I am not sure this is enough ammunition left for us to continue a robust haterz board, so the nickname is probably moot.
I guess Assholes don't finish first after all.
@2:03, I hereby christen you "bad idea guy". Of course, I am not sure this is enough ammunition left for us to continue a robust haterz board, so the nickname is probably moot.
I guess Assholes don't finish first after all.
@2:03, I hereby christen you "bad idea guy". Of course, I am not sure this is enough ammunition left for us to continue a robust haterz board, so the nickname is probably moot.
I guess Assholes don't finish first after all.
I wish Cockly would say a few words.
"Now they're saying these numbers are meaningless cuz we have to wait for the Chicago market since that's their test market."
I know. I posted below that and said that was the most idiotic thing I've ever heard.
So now, the national average numbers don't matter. Only higher per screen average in Chicago...that will mean higher per screen averages when wide elsewhere.
Even though the national per screen averages were lower, they will come up to match Chicagoland. IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
@ 5:01, I'm honored to have earned a name, may I be Mr. B.I.G.?
I second the above motion. C'mon cockly, give us a new entry displaying the weekends opening numbers.
Why can't these RMMB dickbags understand that if the numbers were up to Tucker's par, he'd be posting about it? He's been mum since the Friday numbers came out.
"WAITING FOR CHICAGO MARKET DATA, THEN WE'LL SEE."
Shut. the. fuck. up.
From what I've read elsewhere, a print costs around $3,000, so 369,000 just barely covers it. However, of that 369,000, they also need to pay freestyle to rent the theater, the theater takes a cut of the gross, and freestyle also takes a cut (30%?) of the gross.
For first run movies, theaters generally keep 10-15% the first week, more on subsequent weeks. For second run movies (before they were killed off by ppv and dvds), the theater keeps 50%. An indie movie has no negotiating power, so the theater is either getting a large rental fee, a large nugget, and/or a larger percentage of the gross.
From RMMB:
"Most people I've talked to haven't heard of it yet. I'm confident they will. If I could get a downloadable trailer, I would show it to all kinds of people on my Iphone (I know I can go to youtube, but sometimes you can't get it to download fast enough). Just a thought."
How fucking pathetic is this person? If somebody came up to me and said "Hey man! Want to see this movie trailer?", I would say, "No. Fuck you."
What they could do is just delete everything, the movie subforum, the movie blog, all traces of the movie, and pretend that it never existed.
You think you jest. He may just do that.
"How fucking pathetic is this person? If somebody came up to me and said "Hey man! Want to see this movie trailer?", I would say, "No. Fuck you."
I know. The one guy said he was going up to people saying "This movie is way better than the hangover, want a ticket?"
I would say..."So...you think a random movie is better than the highest grossing comedy of all time? Fuck you, asshat."
"How fucking pathetic is this person? If somebody came up to me and said "Hey man! Want to see this movie trailer?", I would say, "No. Fuck you."
I know. The one guy said he was going up to people saying "This movie is way better than the hangover, want a ticket?"
I would say..."So...you think a random movie is better than the highest grossing comedy of all time? Fuck you, asshat."
One month from now:
"I know you million fans who bought my book have been wondering what I've been up to since the overwhelming success of my movie was negated by feminists and haterz. Well don't worry true believers, have I got some great news for you.
I'm writing a musical.
No shit. I, Tucker Max, am writing a musical adaptation of my NYTimes Best Seller IHTSBIH. I know it sounds kooky, but hear me out. This musical will revolutionize musicals, because this musical will be written by a heterosexual.
Me and Paul Fucking Wall are writing the beats and rhymes as we speak. It's going to be a rap musical for the most part, but if any of you on the board play an instrument or shit, send me an mp3 of your work and MAYBE I'll get back to you.
This is going to be huge. I already wrote some lyrics and I was reciting them at Starbucks and suddenly some uppity faggy guy named Bernie Taupin came by and asked me to stop. Well if my lyricistic talents are enough to make fags upset then it has to be something great.
This is going to be great!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nice.
Before it's gone, pignon said:
"I hope he waited to buy that jet.
Oh well. I'm sure the DVD (read: bittorrent) numbers will be better."
You can fool a message board full of idiots and sycophants. You can even fool yourself, but you can't fool the investors that want their fucking money.
You can't get your board members to 'wahoo' the investors, you can't ban the investors, you can't post public information and embarrass the investors.
what the fuck are you gonna do now?
"I hope he waited to buy that jet."
lololol
Probably remain silent like he has been.
He has to know that these numbers aren't good. He has to.
Looks like Assholes finish Bankrupt
he'll pay them in rep points.
He'll make sure Tando starts sharing some of those cafepress profits.
It is so pleasing to watch this douchebag fail.
I hope that all the people he has hurt, mocked, or humiliated are privy to this glorious fiasco.
You know what I find most facinatiing is that apparently, word on the street is, so I've heard it be said, it that hes not even the coolestht one of his friendths.
I've often wondered if The Hangover was actually written after Otto hawked his script around Hollywood and couldn't get any interest. Maybe someone liked the concept (aftermath of a bachorlor party) but wanted to change it (like to actually make it funny) but Otto refused to make any "artistic" concessions so they wrote their own. I'd have to check the dates except I'm losing interest real fast
Wonder if Miss Vermont is sitting in front of her computer following the numbers giggling manically quaffing the wine and chanting "Karma Karma sweet sweet Karma."
I thought that the release of IHTSBIH would shine a spotlight on Tucker. His bullshit stories would be debunked under the scrutiny that would follow.
Instead of being exposed he is just being ignored.
Cockly's blog is anti-Tucker, Tucker's blog is pro-Tucker. but at the end of the day, outside of this small internet bubble - No one gives a shit about Tucker Max.
Ha! not even his own father!
Just saw the movie, and holy shit is it bad. While there's definitely worse movies out there, this movie falls so far short of Tucker's grandiose ideals, I haven't felt this good about my judgement in movies or character in a long time.
For awhile, I started to think "Maybe Tucker's actually on to something? The book was kinda funny in parts. Take the best elements of it, add a good story and some strong characters, and you can really have something." Sorry. Fail. Epic Fail. The story is so clearly an afterthought, the characters are one-dimensional, and the one characteristic Tucker has continuously trumpeted the most about the movie, realism, is missing in such abundance it makes me think Tucker is actually from an alternate reality.
While there were a few funny things, to think this movie is "groundbreaking", "revolutionary", or "realistic", is to have a concept of reality that is so far removed from the actual world that if one were to ever tell me that to my face, I would instinctively give them directions to the nearest mental hospital.
Hello. Excuthe me, but I wath wondering if you kind folkth could confirm or deny a rumor: ith Tucker even the cooletht one of hith friendth?
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2616&p=.htm
'n limited release, Capitalism: A Love Story made the biggest splash, while the rest ranged from moderate (Bright Star) to poor (I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell).'
box office mojo just called the 0performance "poor".
http://leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com/about-last-night/2009/09/tucker-max-is-ready-to-leave-la-behind-and-possibly-settle-down.html#more
“People think this one was controversial,” said Max about the movie, which features a hard-to-forget bathroom scene. “The next one would be so much [worse].”
Next one? I must be living in a different timeline than Tucker.
It'll be amusing to see the madness next week when the FailShow expands and further cannibalizes his core fanbase. Sub $1000 PTA on 300 odd screens?
"Ha! not even his own father!"
So much salt in the wounds, yet I could not stop laughing at this.
Matt Czurchry is now and forever the public face of tugger.
I hear tugger is going down to the courthouse first thing tomorrow morning to have his name changed.
"Next one? I must be living in a different timeline than Tucker."
Great meta-joke, John.
"It'll be amusing to see the madness next week when the FailShow expands and further cannibalizes his core fanbase. Sub $1000 PTA on 300 odd screens?"
What expansion?
Time for a betting pool!
Who will tucker blame?
- Bob Gosse?
- Jesse Bradford
- Matt WhoCry?
- Feminazis?
- Shreveport
- Critics who don't get it?
- He's ahead of his time?
- Darko didn't give him a chance?
- The depression?
- Bunny (found beaten to death with unusually small handprints)
- Fuck You! It beat my expectations. The 25 million opening weekend and private jet was a smokescreen to distract the haters. I'm closer than ever to the ultimate goal. Trust me, my next move will be awesome. I'll explain it all in a couple weeks.
- Fuck You! It beat my expectations. The 25 million opening weekend and private jet was a smokescreen to distract the haters. I'm closer than ever to the ultimate goal. Trust me, my next move will be awesome. I'll explain it all in a couple weeks.
I told you guys it would be a fucking revolution. Every other movie tries to make money. This time, we tried to lose as much as possible. Mission fucking accomplished, haterz. We flipped the WHOLE SYSTEM on its head, Rudius Style.
Nils seems pretty certain of expansion (pun intended?):
http://twitter.com/nilsaparker
"Ft. Hood screening going great, same as all the screenings. I cannot wait until September 25th. Private jet, here I come.
http://twitter.com/TuckerMax/status/2733204001
And so it is. All the ART and all the talk about being true to yourself and it really all comes down to a private jet. That was the end goal. Art equals private planes. It always has and always will. Sean Penn did Dead Man Walking so he could buy a Cessna.
There is a certain freedom about boarding a plane that looks like you living room. You sit on leather couches while hot stewardesse ply you wit topshevle booze and warm crispy appetizers & h'orderves
Business will be dicussed. but only in broad strokes.
it's seductive. It's powerful.
Probabaly not the place for IHYSBIH Beer Pong kit
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/weekend/chart/?yr=2009&wknd=39&p=.htm
2nd worst per screen average of all movies that opened this week.
That is epic fail.
Well done Tucker. Still as bright as a bag of hammers.
IFTB
sorry but, to the anon above.....3k per is not all that bad considering the limited release.
Fuck You haters. Every one knows I was only blowing smoke when I predicted 25m opening. What you guys fail to realize is that in my revolutionary marketing plan I HAD to act like a raging dickhead. But there is a very good reason behind the way I've been acting and the bullshit I've been saying. Just wait and I'll tell you. Its all coming together just as I planned. You'll see. (And I really AM the coolesthest one of my friendthsthssssss - didnt see THAT coming did you?!)
Tucker's movie performed far worse than Tucker could have dreamed in his worst nightmares. He was probably thinking that he would become a successful multi-millionaire as a result of this movie, but it clearly isn't going to happen now.
What is he going to do now? Obviously, sequels are out of the question. Will he make any money off his movie? It seems like a complete net loss.
I think that Tucker's Internet popularity has to be on the decline. Based on the pictures I've seen of his promo movie tour on flicker, the most die-hard Tucker Max fans appear to be total dweebs and losers. Will the dweebs and losers still look to Tucker as a source of inspiration when he's in his late 30's and is the creepy old guy hitting on women at college town bars?
I bet that Tucker also thinks he's going to find a great and desirable women he will want to settle down with him within the next couple years. But why would a good woman want him? Sure, he can tell a woman that his stories were fabricated simply to promote himself and make money, but the fact that his stories exist will always make him look like a slimeball. He's not exactly marriage material.
World to Tucker Max: "Blow me"
This is my last post.
I hope that this finally motivates Tucker to move past all of this living the brand nonsense.
No one else has to get hurt. It's ok to be a socially inept borderline sociopath like 99% of his fans... it's not ok to pretend that's normal and use those traits to make commercial gains.
Grab a grow-up-raft from the failboat and hop aboard boys.
well, it's official. tucker sucks. we called it years ago. 11746 comments on how much he sucks later. fuck off and die of soul cancer, tucker. you have no talent.
signed,
everyone the universe. and tucker's dad.
Get your pussies ready ladies !
"Get your pussies ready ladies !"
I lol'd. An oldy but a goody!
"sorry but, to the anon above.....3k per is not all that bad considering the limited release.
9/27/2009 11:37 PM"
From Box Office Mojo:
In limited release, Capitalism: A Love Story made the biggest splash, while the rest ranged from moderate (Bright Star) to poor (I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell).
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2616&p=.htm
In a world where everybody tries to be somebody else, sometimes silence is the only truth.
Tucker just got
BUFTSECKSED
Repost from imdb (Nng121):
http://www.movieweb.com/news/NEdXykfeBDXwhe
"Not faring so well, however, was the Tucker Max adaptation I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, which took in $369,000 from 120 theaters with a well-below-average $3,075 per-screen average."
http://www.hollywoodoutbreak.com/2009/09/27/maybe-tucker-max-should-stick-to-his-books/
"TUCKER MAX may have a loyal following on-line and at the bookstores but they sure didn’t follow him to the box-office. The dismal opening week-end showing of the big screen adaptation of his best selling memoir, I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL, indicates that MAX might be better off sticking to the books."
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2616&p=.htm
"In limited release, Capitalism: A Love Story made the biggest splash, while the rest ranged from moderate (Bright Star) to poor (I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell)."
http://www.newsinfilm.com/?p=25089
"By contrast, exaggerator Tucker Max’s movie I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell made only $369,000 in 120 locations."
"exaggerator Tucker Max"
lol
Oh dear. This is from April 2008:
"OC/DC. What is that? It's an original script Nils and I have just finished. I am not going to talk about it, other than to say one thing:
I think its going to be the highest grossing comedy of all time.
I'm not kidding. There is no question in my mind that IHTSBIH is going to do great and launch Nils and I and my company. But everyone will think its just luck, that we'll just do the sequels and that'll be it, that we're one hit wonders. OC/DC is going to be our first movie that has nothing at all to do with anything on this site or Tucker Max related, and it is going to blow people away.
I'm not going to talk anymore about it, and don't ask. Just remember this post when it drops in 2 or 3 years and sets new records."
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=642859#post642859
Hey Tucker, maybe now you can reveal to us the big secret plan behind all those planned leaks to Gawker and how it was all part of your revolutionary marketing strategy?
4:53: wow, this is far, far worse than even I thought it would be. Tucker's done in hollywood unless he can catch a low-level gig. Much like a woman's biological clock, tucker clearly has missed his window and has to be hearing the ticking of irrelevance
"4:53: wow, this is far, far worse than even I thought it would be. Tucker's done in hollywood unless he can catch a low-level gig. Much like a woman's biological clock, tucker clearly has missed his window and has to be hearing the ticking of irrelevance"
maybe he'll buy some cats now, lots of cats
Tucker quote:
"Not at all. Our movie is nothing like The Hangover except in the vaguest plot descriptions, and in the most important way--humor--its way way better. Like, not even comparable. The worst jokes in our movie kill the best in The Hangover, even ignoring the fact that pretty much all the best lines were in the trailer.
Plus, I am super excited to see that movie do well. It proves the market for our concept--that hard R movies without stars, about guys and drinking are viable--and anything that movie can do at the box office, we can beat. Easily. It's like watching someone fight your opponent first, and you get to see exactly what you are in for.
If there do end up being a lot of comparisons, it will go poorly, but not for us. The Hangover is probably one of the best comedies of the last ten years, but all that means is that comedy has sucked for ten years. The days of being able to pass off dogshit like The Hangover as great comedy end on September 25th. We are going to sweep in out of nowhere and shake up the comedy world. The bar will be raised.
And if you doubt me, that's cool. Stand in line behind all the other the doubters--the ones who said I couldn't be a writer, or my website couldn't be a book, or my book wouldn't be a best seller, or I couldn't write a movie, or I couldn't get that movie made, or I couldn't get the movie distributed, etc, etc, etc. They have been wrong every time in the past, and they will be wrong this time."
Oh I proudly stand behind the haters. Tucker = epic fail.
fuck you for bringing cats into this
- unstable female owner of 3 cats
Any chance those women who slept with Max on the premise that he's a celebrity will cauterize themselves shut after seeing this failure?
I wonder how tattoo girl is feeling these days.
B.I.G.
Anyone noticed Bunny has shit all over the board lately? What gives? I miss her psychotic spams.
oops, hasn't
those girls slept with max because they were whores, not bc he was pseudo famous
those girls slept with max because they were whores, not bc he was pseudo famous
from rmmb
Even though the per screen average of IHTSBIH was $3,075, this movie's per screen average was better than 75% percent of the all the other films' per screen average.
Jesus, Pandorum had 2,506 theaters and only averaged $1,759 per screen. Is this the "green light" to increase the number of theaters?
"- unstable female owner of 3 cats"
Unstable chicks are the hottest ones. Post tits!
(srsly tho, cats are cool, can't blame em for the foibles of some of their owners)
I knew I'd never sleep with Tucker because he doesn't like cats.
Also, he's a gd KY fan.
Those are sins comparable with active herpes.
-unstable cat girl
"sorry but, to the anon above.....3k per is not all that bad considering the limited release."
Actually, it is. Limited releases that yield high interest typically have inflated theater averages because of a lack of dilution in theaters. If the movie had the huge opening Tucker was hoping for, around $10k - $15k should have been expected.
Alas, though, Tucker couldn't even keep pace with his Friday numbers (on average).
"from rmmb
Even though the per screen average of IHTSBIH was $3,075, this movie's per screen average was better than 75% percent of the all the other films' per screen average.
Jesus, Pandorum had 2,506 theaters and only averaged $1,759 per screen. Is this the "green light" to increase the number of theaters?"
It's hysterical. Fanboys keep posting 100%s on Rotten and saying "I don't understand all the low ratings...this is the funniest thing ever."
And even in the face of undeniable failure they cannot admit it. It's always, "Well it wasn't that bad"
Yes...it was. The movie actually trended DOWN over the weekend. There was no WOM spread at all.
Now they've moved on to..."well, next week it will be bigger and take the country by storm"
Wrong...It's not going to do anything but fade away.
"Alas, though, Tucker couldn't even keep pace with his Friday numbers (on average)."
That's the funny part. The numbers actually went down over the course of the weekend. No WOM boost whatsoever.
from IMDB:
"Tucker must be sleeping with a LOT of girlfriends at this point. That's the only rational explanation."
That's it exactly. Tucker has slept with so many people's girlfriends, they're all just jealous.
Remains to be explained why exactly the girlfriends aren't going to see his movie.
Bonnie Hunt is the nicest talk show host ever. Seriously.
Fuck Tucker Max; this is established.
I just want to nominate Bonnie Hunt for the most non-douche person ever.
Cockly updated his new blog:
http://www.tuckermaxisadouche.blogspot.com/
I took the liberty of making the first comment.
^^^
What? Did Gandhi drop down into second place, or is for the living only, and not not a historical ranking? 'Cause you have to admit, defeating the British Empire with nothing more than a smile is exquisitely non-douchey.
I don't understand what was meant to be different about this movie. I watched both trailers and didn't see anything new and groundbreaking. I only saw tired jokes and the same old sleaze that's been around for years. Could someone please tell me how this movie is different from other crass, sexist, lowbrow, unfunny "comedies"?
Jokes have been made about this man's narcissism, but he really must be that full of himself if he thought that the public was going to be as impressed with him as he is. It's rather frightening when you think about it.
^^6:33: You just don't get it. Did Tucker sleep with your girlfriend or something?
Which members of the Rudius saga do you think shed tears?
Guaranteed:
geigs
Bunny (unrelated to the movie)
Sanku
tmfz
mccoy (of joy)
Probable:
Tucker
Holiday
Dawes
I'm almost completely ignorant of how the movie business works; my knowledge doesn't extend past buying a theater ticket or checking out at the Blockbuster counter. Could someone with broad knowledge of this business please explain to rest of us how much money has been lost here? Who paid for this movie to be made, and who will get the meager earnings from its theater showings and DVD sales? Will Tucker Max himself come close to breaking even, or will this wreck him financially? Just who exactly has thrown away great gobs of money on this turkey?
"members of a saga" sounds weird, but whatever. You know what I meant.
I say Tucker is only probable because he's so delusional that he might have convinced himself that the movie was a smash hit.
Has gawker put anything up?
They had a bet at 18 million, which Tucker will never hit.
In related news, I have a perfect 100% on freecell, don't wanna start over, but can't fucking win this game I've been playing for 3 days.
Someone, fucking do this for me before I lose my mind.
6:45: there's movie insiders that have posted in the past that can probably explain it better, but from what I understand:
The movie cost 6 mil to make. Add on an additional 6 mil for marketing. Darko's investors put up most of that money, and probably regret it now; Tucker put up some quantity of his own (probably raised via loans from banks, considering his book and website don't give him even enough income to pay for a decent apartment in LA), I dunno how much, probably under 1 mil but at least in the couple hundred thousand range. Darko gets any money first from the theater until their costs have been covered, Tucker gets the back end - last take on money, once everyone else has been paid. But I think he also gets all or nearly all the DVD money.
Tucker has previously posted (back when he was also predicting 25 mil opening weekend) that the movie would have to make 15-20 mil to be in the black - to turn a profit. So that tells you about how much the other costs involved are - making the prints, paying the theaters, and so on.
If - as seems likely - the movie's total take is under 1 mil - then Darko's investors are screwed, and Tucker doesn't see one cent, at least until DVDs start coming out and getting bought, but that's not going to give him enough cash fast enough to be able to pay off his lenders.
Look, I'm unemployed and don't have a movie, so in those simplest terms, Tucker has me beat.
I can't throw stones anymore.
While we are talking daytime talk shows, what the fuck is up with Dr. Oz? He's doing a show telling people they probably have cancer and don't even know it.
Uncool.
Won't the dvd profits go to the investors first? I'm no expert but if they don't recoup their money from the theatrical release i would assume they get the profits from the dvd release.
Can anyone explain?
"But I think he also gets all or nearly all the DVD money."
I don't think he does until Darko gets back its investment. Even on DVDs. If the BO is not enough to cover their investment, they are probably entitled to take it from all sales of Merchandise related to the movie until they are.
Even then, Fox is not doing the DVD distribution for free, and retailers/manufacturers all take cuts from the DVDs.
"would have to make 15-20 mil to be in the black - to turn a profit."
That number has been revised by Tucker to 25-30 million because they took the 6 million out on P&A.
Which makes sense. They only get 50% of the theater profit (12 million X 2 = 24 million needed to just cover that) and then they also have to pay for prints, and pay Freestyle their fee. So another couple million for that.
Somewhere around 30 million...which they will never get.
Again, I'm sure Darko gets a cut of the DVDs. And they may, in fact, get it all until their investment is covered. I don't know the details of the deal except Tucker said all they got was back end profits.
Looking at 2 comedies for the coming week...
The Invention of Lying (Irony to Tuckers film) is tracking 100% also Zombieland is tracking 100% in critic reviews.
Bad news for Tucks when other comedies will be pulling from his hoped for comedic audience.
I'm going to see Zombieland, it looks hilarious.
IHTSBIH is done.
Oct 2 new releases
Invention of lying
whip it
Toy Story (3D)
Zombieland
Oct 9
Couples retreat
Night of the Demons
gotta give props to tucker: he did better that Zzyxx Road.
"Again, I'm sure Darko gets a cut of the DVDs. And they may, in fact, get it all until their investment is covered"
Wouldn't surprise me if you're right, I was just guessing.
If Darko does get DVD money until the investment is covered, it is entirely possible Tucker will never see any income from this movie, ever. Meaning he's put himself deep in debt for nothing.
Like they said on IMDB: "Wave goodbye, the guy is done"
The investors have to be paid back before the movie makes a profit. Tucker only makes money if the movie makes a profit.
That is unless Sean McKittrick blew it on another contract, and I wouldn't put it past him. It's completely Sean's fault to give Tucker such massive creative control in the first place. Tucker ruined his own movie, but Sean gave him the keys to the car.
Even if he does make some money. He's pretty much done in Hollywood.
No major studio wants anything to do with him. And no smaller studio will front the costs after this disaster.
I posted on his board that it would have been better if he simply did a more "reality" style film (ala JJ abrams with Cloverfield, reality edited) or like the new "Paranormal activity"
To which he of course said that would never work.
Let me see...the guys from Paranormal Activity made their film for 15k and are now going to see a nice profit.
His film is a 12 million dollar disaster that he will never live down.
Has he done something simple like "Clerks" or "Mallrats" very low budget but decent, he would probably have some sort of future.
But he went for broke with this basically. And now no one wants to work with him.
no one wants to work with him because the majority of people on earth aren't swayed by arrogance and stupidity and actually enjoy things like talent
Now that Tucker has been so soundly trounced, all I have left to follow is Arthur Kade...
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?s=63bb64a901d05a3fd7940c0fa034c6f1&p=877619&postcount=346
KMD:
"Originally Posted by Frebis
I remember Tucker posted that critics mean nothing now. I have a sneaking suspicion that this thread was set up to prove this.
You're probably right. Just as planned, eh Tucker?"
ahahahahaha
welcome to
TUCKER
MAX
FAIL
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
Tuckerfail
Moviefail
LostBunny
Nils
"Look, I'm unemployed and don't have a movie, so in those simplest terms, Tucker has me beat."
- So is otto
- Having a shit movie about you in existence is a mark AGAINST your character, not for it.
Are there midget cats?
What about midget monkeys?
Hey, has anybody else been using their Beer in Hell i-phone app? Its been great for me. I love the "What would Tucker do" function. This morning it told me to skip work, sit around in my underwear all day, watch free internet porn; drink Old Milwaukee in 16 oz cans; and call out posers on internet message boards. The Bill Dawes function is also great, but I have to say that cutting off that Affliction Shirt at the collar, dying my hair blonde, and spraying AXE all over myself, has kind of scared the 8 year old next door. He claims I look like "Uncle Bill" who is always trying to get him to play the squeeze the submarine game.
Once everyone gets the i-phone app, you watch how those box office numbers start to climb.
Maybe you mean bonsai kitten.
Unread Today, 10:05 AM #194
Nezzer
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I really wanted to like it, but just didn’t. There were a few good lines, but so many bad ones. Overall it felt like 90% of the time it was just people waiting to say their one-liner. Too many of the jokes were just old. It felt like they were topical jokes that were written 6 years ago and just left in the script even though they felt dated.
The story seemed pretty stale. A guy let’s his friends down and then makes a big speech at the end of the movie to win them back. Another guy hates women and one night meets a woman and instantly falls in love.
I wasn’t a big fan of the cinematography. A lot of times the lighting seemed really uneven. I’m talking shot from shot. It seemed like there were several shots that were out of focus.
One minor thing that bothered me was the guys talked about the strip club not opening until 10. Then after they had been at the strip club a while, Dan’s fiancé calls. She’s shopping with her mom and it looks like it’s daytime.
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Smythe
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I saw this movie last Thursday at a sneak peak showing in Chicago, I waited to write my thoughts on it to let it stew. I took 4 friends, and I heard two of their opinions more than others. One being a Columbia film graduate, who is actually doing pretty damn good for him was the one that introduced me to the book kept comparing the movie to Hangover and I had to keep saying "Yeah, okay but do you realize this is actually based on a true story?" I sent him the earlier insightful review where a poster said "it does not require a suspension of disbelief" and it clicks for him.
I think the movie started slow, then picked up, quite a bit. Did not mind the McGriddle replacement word, but I could not stand those cut outs to him eating it, even though the last part with him sneaking up on Tucker was hilarious.
The most disappointing part of this movie for me is that they did not work in Drew actually being Slingblade. I thought that would have been a nice little bit of fan service. Especially in the bar where the black girl starts dancing to Grillzilla. That "I'm going to carve another fuckhole" line would have been the perfect place to start the slingblade thing. I was actually upset when Movie Tucker called real Tucker Slingblade in that scene. It seemed like such a shitty afterthought. "Oh wait, we never used Slingblade the whole movie! Let's throw it in here."
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I saw it for a second time with my brother but I also brought my buddy and his girl who hadn't seen it before; my buddy's read the book before I think, but his girl hasn't heard of Tucker before. They both loved the movie, even though his girl didn't want to see it the movie because it seemed misogynist or whatever, but she realized that Tucker and the other characters were really just intolerant of ignorance. Hopefully they will tell their friends about the movie.
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I definitely enjoyed the movie, the clever writing I feel was a double edged sword however. The people who had half a brain actually understood all the jokes and were able to laugh at them. The other half of the crowd on the other hand I felt didn't knew what half of them were and awkwardly laughed or kinda looked around not knowing why it was funny.
There was plenty of crude easy to understand humor for those idiots. But I literally heard people going "Who is Scott Peterson" etc.
I would probably give it a 7.5-8.5/10. Solid Comedy, some new humor you don't typically get to see in the theaters also.
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Was that Mark Ebner "protesting" in the L.A. premiere video?
__________________
How did that poor person get negative thousands in rep points???
motherfuckers, i finally beat that fucking freecell game
i'm so happy i could shit on tucker's dick
and then, beat the next one i opened in like 2 minutes flat, what the fuck
same for the next one, i blame the stress of tucker's movie over that last game taking 3 days
Tucker's movie didn't geta fair chance. The Hangover opened on 3,545 screen as oppossed to 120 for Beer In Hell. Since Tucker's film puller a decent $3100 per screen against all odds. it lloks like he would have seen a $11,000,000 opening week if he pull the same screens as The Hangover.
$11,000,000 is not a bad number and Tucker and Nils should be proud either way.
"Tucker's movie didn't geta fair chance. The Hangover opened on 3,545 screen as oppossed to 120 for Beer In Hell. Since Tucker's film puller a decent $3100 per screen against all odds. it lloks like he would have seen a $11,000,000 opening week if he pull the same screens as The Hangover.
$11,000,000 is not a bad number and Tucker and Nils should be proud either way."
--Nils' Orca-looking wife
This movie, followed by multiple losses on Southland Tales, World's Greatest Dad and others, have pretty much doomed Darko Productions.
Sean McKittrick, you are an embarrassment to your profession. Why in the fuck would you hand the creative keys over to Tucker and let him oversee anything? Did you get suckered into the cult of personality that is Tucker Max? Did you not see how he operated his website? Did you not notice that he emphasizes the all the good to the point of lying while negating all the overwhelming bad to something way past simple lying?
Do you not have lawyers who do due dillagence? Do you not have access to BookScan to check the legitimacy of Tucker's book sales claims? Did you NOT READ HIS FUCKING BLOG? If you did, didn't you notice that he's fucking insane? Did you not see how he treats people? Did you not call Jamie Tarses to see why his TV show didn't get made?
Did you not notice that once you didn't secure a name star that the film was no longer a 6 million dollar movie, perhaps lowering the budget by half as any normal producer would.
Did you not see that Tucker's marketing plan was based on a best case scenerio (1 million book owners = 1 million people seeing the movie opening weekend) when it was moreso based on a lie (book did not sell even 1/2 that number). Did you not notice that his bus tour was not even selling out?
You're a horrible producer Sean McKittrick. 10 years from now, when you're teaching film at some junior college somewhere in the middle of nowhere, remember that you're there for a reason.
"Default
Was that Mark Ebner "protesting" in the L.A. premiere video?"
Yes. Tucker and Nils paid their friends to pretend to be protestors at the LA premeiere.
Tucker forgor about the friend part and all he saw was protestors.
"Protestors only protest people who are famous or important"
Yeah, except when you pay them and have their cellphone number programmed into your cellphone and help them make the signs they will carry, etc.
"Tucker's movie didn't geta fair chance. The Hangover opened on 3,545 screen as oppossed to 120 for Beer In Hell. Since Tucker's film puller a decent $3100 per screen against all odds. it lloks like he would have seen a $11,000,000 opening week if he pull the same screens as The Hangover.
$11,000,000 is not a bad number and Tucker and Nils should be proud either way."
You can't just assume that.
It likely would have had a much lower per screen average if it opened on 3,000 screens because people simply didn't know about it and it was panned by critics. Meaning most outside of the niche audience would never see it.
How stupid are Tucker's fans? Don't they realize they're following a lie?
Well, I can beat the unemployed guy. I'm homeless, on stolen internet right now, lost my car, my home, of course all of that after losing my job, none of my college friends know what's going on or why I'm ditching their engagement parties/weddings.
I haven't slept on a real bed for more than 4 months out of the last year. I haven't showered regularly in a year and a half because of no access to enough hot water to make it tolerable. There are days I don't brush my teeth because I can't afford toothpaste. Don't even ask about the date of the last time I washed clothes.
They are proposing to their girls on the beach and I'm living couch to couch and moment to moment. All of my interviews go shitty and my family can't do anything but bitch about how it's all my fault for getting a "worthless business degree."
So, even Tucker's most piece of shit life is better than mine right now.
Just sayin'.
When do they report the BO numbers for today? I'm interested to see what kind of during the week numbers this will have.
""Tucker's movie didn't geta fair chance. The Hangover opened on 3,545 screen as oppossed to 120 for Beer In Hell. Since Tucker's film puller a decent $3100 per screen against all odds. it lloks like he would have seen a $11,000,000 opening week if he pull the same screens as The Hangover.
$11,000,000 is not a bad number and Tucker and Nils should be proud either way."
You can't just assume that.
It likely would have had a much lower per screen average if it opened on 3,000 screens because people simply didn't know about it and it was panned by critics. Meaning most outside of the niche audience would never see it."
LOL Now even the haters are denying basic math. IHTSBIH pulled a 11,000,000 get over it
that's so dumb to extrapolate that out that way
it doesn't work
the point is... if more people wanted to see the movie, they would have fucking went to see the movie
just how many more people would you have if you opened on 3k screens?
even tucker said his plan was to get word of mouth b/c he KNEW no one would come out weekend one
all the single ladies, all the single ladies
put your hand up
oh, oh, oh...
oh, oh, oh...
if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
don't be mad when you see that he want it
oh oh oh ... oh oh oh...
Sweet! gawker's chimed in:
http://gawker.com/5369365/so-hows-that-tucker-max-movie-doing
"So, even Tucker's most piece of shit life is better than mine right now."
Welcome to Obamerica. The unemployment rate for Americans aged 16-24 is hitting 52% right now.
But don't worry, white folks just need to pay more money to send black inner city kids to college, then everything'll be fine.
"LOL Now even the haters are denying basic math. IHTSBIH pulled a 11,000,000 get over it"
No...it pulled 369,000 this weekend. End of discussion.
Speculation is not reality. Get over that.
Tucker Call Out
Dearest Tucker,
Like so many others, I found you well over six years ago and stood by your virtual side through a lot of shit.
Here's your chance to earn my respect. You'd probably gain the respect of many others too.
Come out today and admit you were wrong. Act humble, act disappointed, act genuinely shocked that you didn't bring in $20 million this weekend... just be authentically human.
You'll have me back as a fan.
Otherwise, if you pull more of your bullshit, fuck you, I'm out... and so are a lot of the other people who've been here long term.
We want to root for you dude but you have to offer us some honesty in return.
- Concerned Fan
I'm going to estimate this will get a 150 per screen average in the week.
For a pull of 72,000 over the next 4 days.
^^ correction, the employment rate is 52%. That makes unemployment 48%. Not good either way
what's a bonsai kitty?
the news just said a chicken laid an egg so large that it killed her
that's fucking revolutionary tucker, take note
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/empsit.pdf
Wha? Look actual data. I know trollers never see it...
Unemployment among 16 to 19 year olds is 25.5% and among 20 to 24 year olds is 15.1% even multiplying 1.5X for U6 (you know what that is right?)
You don't get 52%...
And U6 includes those with part-time work. Representing almost all of the increase from U3 to U6...
Moving along...
Hell, using the logic of Tugger's fanboyz, his movie was a complete success. If it had opened on 10,000 screens, it would have made the same $3100/screen it made in its limited showing, for a box office total of $31 million!
$11M guy is clearly a troll, and a funny one
Actually, too bad it didn't open on 100,000 screens - it would have made $310 million last weekend!
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/business/the_dead_end_kids_AnwaWNOGqsXMuIlGONNX1K
The dead end kids
Young, unemployed and facing tough future
By RICHARD WILNER
Last Updated: 10:02 AM, September 28, 2009
Posted: 1:34 AM, September 27, 2009
The unemployment rate for young Americans has exploded to 52.2 percent -- a post-World War II high, according to the Labor Dept. -- meaning millions of Americans are staring at the likelihood that their lifetime earning potential will be diminished and, combined with the predicted slow economic recovery, their transition into productive members of society could be put on hold for an extended period of time.
it's not our fault you read nothing but tucker max related sites mr. knows the real data
who cares, there are too many people out of work, fucking period
it's not fair and it's not normal and the older people in power aren't doing jackshit about it because guess what, those assholes have jobs
to bring it back to tucker, think of how many people that 12 million dollar failboat could have employed last year?
selfish pricks
Hey, did anyone else notice a strange sort of shift in the air over the weekend? It's sort of like someTHING, some FORCE, swept in from nowhere and changed comedy forever. Is there anyone living in California who can detect a subtle shift in the air? You know, almost like the way films are made has been changed forever? I can't quite put my finger on it...
...in an unrelated question, does anyone know where I can find an awesome indoor crossbow range in the SoCal area?
"The unemployment rate for young Americans has exploded to 52.2 percent -- a post-World War II high, according to the Labor Dept."
I just gave you the direct data from BLS. Do you know what that is?
The reporter is talking out of his ass. Learn to think for yourself and look up the raw data.
And shockingly they even provide you the worst data set, you just have to look. Idiot.
"...in an unrelated question, does anyone know where I can find an awesome indoor crossbow range in the SoCal area?"
Hahahaha. That's pretty good.
I did feel the comedy world shift this weekend.
It's not exactly indoors, but there's this great new project a guy I know is working on, it's this revolutionary method of business travel, you get on a zeppelin and there's this combo open bar and crossbow range while you're traveling, so you can practice crossbowing while getting drunk at the same time, it's an awesome idea. You may have heard of the fellow who came up with this, his name is Tucker Max.
"I just gave you the direct data from BLS."
Yes, thank you. It does appear the reporter is wrong.
that is saying that 52% of people that age are unemployed
whether or not that matches with the rhetoric as defined as unemployed (which is actually nothing more than people receiving unemployment benefits) is total bullshit
over half of the people that age do not have jobs
whether they want them or not
it's not exaggerated data, it's extrapolated truth
quit trying to sound smart because you can cut and paste from the bureau of labor stats
"Tucker Max's Drunken Crossbow Airship"
Can't fail
and, for the record, the bls number will ALWAYS be lower than actual unemployed (especially in that demographic) because of people who
- stop looking for work
- run out of benefits
- never filed for benefits b/c they become hobos
- never filed for benefits b/c they don't need to work
etc, etc, etc
- Hill LA in HELP committee
@10:18 had too much Obama Kool Aid for breakfast
"and, for the record, the bls number will ALWAYS be lower than actual unemployed (especially in that demographic) because of people who
- stop looking for work
- run out of benefits
- never filed for benefits b/c they become hobos
- never filed for benefits b/c they don't need to work"
I'd like to point out you're an idiot. Just go ahead and say it outloud.
They keep records of everyone NOT in the workforce as well. And how many of them are "unemployed"
http://www.bls.gov/webapps/legacy/cpsatab1.htm
Table A-13
http://data.bls.gov/PDQ/servlet/SurveyOutputServlet
If you highlight the appropriate selection, you will find that of most of those outside the workforce that can work, 5.728 million that want a job simply don't do anything about it. 2.27 million looked for work, 758,000 are discouraged, and 1.512 million are out of work for personal reasons (family deaths, health, etc that prevent them from looking for jobs)
You can even cross reference this to the population of 16-24 year olds who make up a very small portion of that number. Specifically because many who are 16-24 are always counted as IN THE WORK FORCE as they are in school and thus already accounted for in the U3 and U6 measurements.
The number is not 52% period. It's misleading to say so anyway because 16-19 years old face much higher unemployment than 20-24 year olds.
The combined number INCLUDING those outside the workforce is around 30%, it's significantly less for 20-24 year olds at around 22.5%.
This information is all available from the BLS. You just have to look.
And yes, you are an idiot because you just believe whatever someone at some news site says without looking at data and doing some leg work.
In conclusion...
Tucker Max sucks Nils dick.
"- never filed for benefits b/c they don't need to work"
Specifically this idiocy. If this is the case...they are not unemployed. If they choose not to look for work because they don't need to, they are not unemployed.
That is simple common sense. I suggest less time being a sheeple idiot and more time reading for once.
You're just like the RMMB members, and it's shocking any of you are allowed to mate and produce a gene pool of continually lower intelligence.
"whether or not that matches with the rhetoric as defined as unemployed (which is actually nothing more than people receiving unemployment benefits) is total bullshit"
That is not how they measure unemployment. If you'd like to see the actual survey and algorithm they use, go look at it.
If they only relied on unemployment benefits they'd be SOL because almost half of all people that get laid off never collect unemployment.
There's only around 6.3 million people collecting unemployment now...the number of unemployed reported in U3 alone is more than 2 times that.
Yeah, good job moron. If you don't know it, then don't open your mouth.
wait... i'm confused. i thought tucker said this movie was going to 'blow up'? didn't bunny say it was really good? i thought tucker sold like a million books? someone is fudging the numbers here.
From Tucker's board:
"For a first attempt from guys that had no experience in movies it was amazing, I am really hoping we get to see a follow up I think the movie did a great job flushing out the characters."
Flushing out the characters? Moviegoers should be so lucky.
someone is fudging the numbers here.
Uh, that would be Darko. Fudge and skim baby.... even if this flick had grossed $100 million Tucker still wouldn't have seen a penny. I wonder how he feels when someone lies to him? Okay, just kidding, I don't care how he feels.
Charlie Hoehn, marketing genius, 3/19/09:
"This movie will be big. Very big. And the mainstream press will not see it coming."
The movie is a deaf girl!
Blind girl. It's a blind girl. Can't believe I fucked that up. Rudius FAIL
Uh, do any of you work for the govt in a area that focuses on labor?
No?
Then, stfu.
You contradicted yourself upon your second analysis of the numbers.
Your math continues to evolve as your argument is contested.
good luck with that
Haterz, please, calm.
We can't start the in-fighting again.
Not today, not today of all days.
Please children, simma down.
ps, it looks from re-reading that the original stat came up as a way of someone trying to comfort someone else
so shame on all the rest of you assholes who could care less about the sentiment and start spouting off shit to sound smart
i return to a meme from 03...
winning an argument on the internet is like running a race in the special olympics... even if you win, you're still retarded
ps, it looks from re-reading that the original stat came up as a way of someone trying to comfort someone else
so shame on all the rest of you assholes who could care less about the sentiment and start spouting off shit to sound smart
i return to a meme from 03...
winning an argument on the internet is like running a race in the special olympics... even if you win, you're still retarded
On topic...did the numbers come in for BO today from the movie?
Again, predicting 150 per theater average.
why did the la times give this douche a glowing review?
--from imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148394716
MCCOY MOUNTAIN
mccoymountain@excite.com
ART, FILM, & LITERATURE GUILD OF AMERICA
Ms. Priscilla Painton
Simon & Schuster Editor in Chief
RE: ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, Secretive Tapings of Anal Sex without The Girl’s Consent, Corporate Douchebaggery, and the Epic Failure of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
“Little Italy is fighting back against Tucker Max's controversial ad campaign. Yeah, that poster on the right says, "Blind Girls Never See You Coming." Va fan culo, indeed.” gothamist.com/2009/09/21/tucker_max.php
Dear Ms. Painton,
I and my colleagues in the ART, FILM & LITERATURE GUILD have a couple questions regarding the direction you are taking Simon and Schuster in. Why are you guys/gals hating on art, literature, culture and America? It was recently brought to our attention that you are intent on publishing Tucker Max’s ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, and that your company actually gave him a $300,000 advance for his fart art. As the editor in chief of Simon and Schuster, owned the CBS corporation, do you truly believe Assholes Finish First? It is oft said that girls like “bad boys.” Does Tucker’s fart art douchebag wit titillate and excite you? Is that why you are publishing and profiting from it? Did you laugh during Tucker’s recent film flop when what’s-his-name stated that overweight women aren’t real people? Do you smile smugly when your billion-dollar corporation profits from douchebaggery?
gawker.com/5363233/tucker-maxs-campaign-of-hate-against-chicagos-transit-system “The ads were poetic ditties of white text on a black background. Like: "Blind girls never see you coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding)."”
“Over at the Washington, D.C., premiere, Max’s video minion ridicules both Vietnamese and African-American women, the former for being employed as a pedicurist, and the latter for having a name he finds funny.”
washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
Do you enjoy profiting from making fun of Asians and overweight women? imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148314040
tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Does this make you laugh Ms. Painton? It is not too late to choose the right direction for Simon and Schuster and CBS and walk away from publishing Assholes Finish First. At most it will bring in a few pennies, which will lead everyone to conclude that you and CBS aren’t in it for the money, but just the debauchery and destruction of the culture. As Tucker Max pointed out, the feminist movement empowered women and gave them the right to choose the art they affiliated with and promote. So now, with all the power in your hands, what will you chose on behalf of women all over the world? Please do us proud and choose the right thing.
“The ad campaign for the new flick "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" includes slogans like "Deaf Girls Can't Hear You Coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding!)."”
nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/New-Movie-Ads-Take-Offensive-to-the-Max-59695522.html
look what you did assholes, you basically invited mccoy back with your bickering
are you happy now?
Let's see...
Someone tried to troll the board relating racism with unemployment.
I decided to shut them down because they simply don't know how look up simple data and rely on media to drive their opinions.
"You contradicted yourself upon your second analysis of the numbers."
In the second set of data I gave the "average" U6 of the 2 groups, in the first I did not, I gave the U3 of each age group.
1.5 X 15.1 = approx 22.5%, the average for ages 20-24 in U6, the two groups combined is around 30% in U6.
They are two distinct measurements. There's no contradiction, just your inability to understand the data.
"ps, it looks from re-reading that the original stat came up as a way of someone trying to comfort someone else"
Again...the first comment was trolling racism and unemployment. Usually, I wouldn't even respond.
And on topic. Not understanding that is as bad as the RMMB board trying to him and haw and speculate about Per screen averages. The data is the data.
I wanted to like the movie, but I think I fell into the same trap a few other people have mentioned. I was really excited about it coming out and followed the whole process through the production blog. Because of everything I was reading and the hype from Tucker I thought it was going to be good, there just wasn't any way Tucker could be so delusional about the quality of his own movie. But, for some reason, I couldn't find a way to like this movie.
I thought the pacing was off and there were a lot of really slow parts. I took a couple friends, who were not familiar with Tucker's stuff, and they noticed the same problems. Some of the jokes were funny but they were usually walking a fine line between hilarious insult and really mean spirited. Generally I don't have any problems with a good insult but it's hard to laugh at unprovoked bullying.
The one other major issue was the "realism". Tucker kept saying how "The Hangover" couldn't be considered as good because it's a magical nerd fantasy about what a crazy night in Vegas would be. But I couldn't see how IHTSBIH was any better in that respect. Drew meets a stripper, trades insults for 30 minutes, goes back to her house to play Halo, has a touching moment with her kid and falls in love with her within 2 hours. It just doesn't make any sense to me. It was difficult to put the whole time-line of the weekend and wedding together, I was trying to work the details out in my head and it was confusing.
Maybe I need to watch it again to catch more of the jokes, maybe there weren't enough other people in the theater laughing along with me, maybe I was in a shitty mood because of some external issues. For whatever reason I thought it was really bad.
I've been trying to justify my response by reading any other reviews I can find, but it's really difficult to get through all the fanboy bullshit. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Blind girl. It's a blind girl. Can't believe I fucked that up. Rudius FAIL
9/28/2009 11:18 AM
And you STILL got it fucked up because it's the mainstream press thats the blind girl, not the movie.
how come the mainstream media hasn't exploded yet? some hater whose wife tucker fucked must be purposefully holding back all the stories about how huge tucker's movie is. it's only a matter of time until everyone's talking about this movie and it's huge 369,000 dollar opening weekend.
Where the fuck did you see anything about racism?
Dumbass. Just shut the fuck up.
There was NOTHING about racism anywhere.
Unless you equate Obama-bashing with racism. In which case...
Just shut the fuck up.
PS, no one gives a shit except you.
mccoy mountain is friggin' awesome!
"Someone tried to troll the board relating racism with unemployment."
Right, because criticizing Obama automatically translates to racism. Obama's right by default simply because he's black. That's not racism, that's the basic fact that black is right.
There are certain specific actions Obama could have taken on day 1 of his presidency - that he still could take today - that would drastically improve the long-term prospects of this economy. Example 1: order all federal law enforcement to investigate and prosecute every single person who may have engaged in fraud in the housing market (putting down fake income numbers, offering loans when they had good reason to believe the recipient had no chance of paying it back, selling securities at values they KNEW were inflated, etc). Example 2: immediately cease all federal support to all insolvent institutions such as Citibank or Bank of America or General Motors and compel them to enter bankruptcy the way insolvent companies are supposed to do. Example 3: forego any further taxes on small businesses of any sort.
Had he taken steps of this nature, employers would be much more positive about long-term investment and hiring. As he has not done so, the entire economy is cloaked in FUD. And before anyone mentions the stock market rally since March, I'll point out that 90% of the trades that have been driving that are a few large investors trading huge volumes of not particularly interesting stocks back and forth - A sells to B at $1, B sells to C at $1.1, C sells to D at $1.2, D sells back to A at $1.3, and on and up it goes, until the moment when they suddenly let all the average Joes who've been taken in by the scam buy in. Then they'll pull out, the average Joes lose their shirts, and the banksters walk away with yet more money.
Obama is a fool. That is a simple fact. It is not racist to point out that a black man happens to be an incompetent.
There once was a boy from Kentucket,
If it's vag was 18, he fucked it.
His dick had disease,
His dogs have some fleas.
If you stick out your dick, he'll suck it.
fuck, typo,
ITS not it's
How fucking delusional is this guy?:
Monday wrap-up of opening weekend
September 28, 2009
As I have explained before, we not only independently made this movie, we independently distributed it. This is an extremely risky strategy, and one that had a very low chance of success. We knew this going in, and we rolled the dice anyway because we believed in the quality of the movie and thought my fan base was big enough and responsive enough to launch the movie.
Well, the test is in the results, and the first week numbers are back, and they are…well, they’re not good or bad, which is the weirdest thing. If they had been awesome, then we had a plan on how to capture the momentum and really push this to huge heights. And if the numbers just sucked, then we had a plan on how to best cut our losses and position the DVD.
But our numbers are neither; they are all over map. In some cities and complexes, we are the #1 movie, in others, we barely got anyone out. We averaged a $3,000 per screen average, which is not really good or bad–it’s mediocre, which is what makes it so perplexing. It’s not a bomb, but it’s not really good enough to justify triggering a huge expansion loan. So we are stuck in something of a middle ground: We have a movie that is doing extremely good in some areas, not good in others.
Here is the most frustrating part: We know the movie is great. We have now screened this for 15,000 people, and seen the raucous standing ovations after every screening. We heard from at least 20 independent sources about crowds erupting in applause after seeing in theaters all over the country. We know the people that are seeing it are loving it. People who hate a movie don’t sit on negative feedback, and you can search on Twitter and Facebook and see the overwhelmingly positive response. For every negative response about the movie, there are 80 positive. It’s crazy.
But the other main response we are getting, especially from fans, is “There is a Tucker Max movie coming out?” We clearly didn’t reach enough of my fans to get their awareness about the movie up and get them out to the theaters the first weekend. I think the main problem comes back to an issue we knew we had going in: Money. It is extremely difficult to market a movie without dumping at least 20 million dollars into it. The Hangover spent 40 million on advertising. We spent 4 million. Maybe what we tried to do is impossible, or maybe it is possible and we just didn’t use the right strategy. Either way, we knew this movie would start in my fans and then–if they loved it, which they are–it would expand from there and reach mainstream. But it has to hit the established fans first, and we clearly have not done a good enough job reaching them.
Cont:
So what do we do now? Two things:
1. Ask fans to talk about the movie: If you’ve seen the movie, please tell your friends. It’s that simple. There is no question in my mind that this thing will blow up on DVD and make us a grip of cash, and that’ll be nice, but we’d really like it to do well theatrically as well, and in order for that to happen, we need word of mouth. So tell your friends.
2. Extend the tour: After talking about it, we have decided to extend the promotional tour. This tour has been the best vehicle to promote the movie, and push the awareness of the movie, even among my fans. To that end, we are going to keep doing promotion stops for at least two more weeks, and keep trying to get the word out. Here is the plan:
Wednesday:
Louisville, Kentucky
Maker’s Lounge
446 S. Fourth St.
Louisville, KY
502.568.9009
Thursday:
Nashville, Tennessee
McFadden’s
134 2nd Ave N
Nashville, TN
(615) 686-2482
Friday:
Knoxville
Bar TBA
Saturday:
Knoxville
Tailgating at Neyland Stadium
Here’s the deal: Come to any of the places we are, bring your ticket showing you went to see “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” at any theater, and we’ll give you one of the IHTSBIH shirts we have here. And of course, I’ll be at all these places to sign whatever you want, get pictures, flirt with hot girls, etc.
And yes, I still have to post the Tempe, San Diego, Los Angeles and San Francisco write-ups. All the videos are up though, you can see them here.
He is going to linger around for the next few weeks until somebody at Darko simply pulls the plug & puts him out of his misery.
I don't want to wish death on anyone, but WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE! (nod to Jon Woo's Faceoff)
He is going to linger around for the next few weeks until somebody at Darko simply pulls the plug & puts him out of his misery.
I don't want to wish death on anyone, but WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE! (nod to Jon Woo's Faceoff)
EXTEND THE FAILBUS TOUR!!! What a revolutionary idea. I'm not sure what, in Tugger's mind, constitutes a "bomb"; it is very likely that this movie will struggle to reach even 1 million dollars. He's already shifted his quixotic talk of gilded riches to the DVD that'll make them "a grip of money".
just for shits and giggles, i looked on twitter and facebook
if by overwhelming you mean a dozen... then it's overwhelming
just for shits and giggles, i looked on twitter and facebook
if by overwhelming you mean a dozen... then it's overwhelming
1. Ask fans to talk about the movie: If you’ve seen the movie, please tell your friends. It’s that simple.
But Tucker, they won't lithen to me. I'm not even the cooletht one of my friendth.
ha ha aha ha ahahahahhahahahah!
--from imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148394716
MCCOY MOUNTAIN
mccoymountain@excite.com
ART, FILM, & LITERATURE GUILD OF AMERICA
Ms. Priscilla Painton
Simon & Schuster Editor in Chief
RE: ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, Secretive Tapings of Anal Sex without The Girl’s Consent, Corporate Douchebaggery, and the Epic Failure of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
“Little Italy is fighting back against Tucker Max's controversial ad campaign. Yeah, that poster on the right says, "Blind Girls Never See You Coming." Va fan culo, indeed.” gothamist.com/2009/09/21/tucker_max.php
Dear Ms. Painton,
I and my colleagues in the ART, FILM & LITERATURE GUILD have a couple questions regarding the direction you are taking Simon and Schuster in. Why are you guys/gals hating on art, literature, culture and America? It was recently brought to our attention that you are intent on publishing Tucker Max’s ASSHOLES FINISH FIRST, and that your company actually gave him a $300,000 advance for his fart art. As the editor in chief of Simon and Schuster, owned the CBS corporation, do you truly believe Assholes Finish First? It is oft said that girls like “bad boys.” Does Tucker’s fart art douchebag wit titillate and excite you? Is that why you are publishing and profiting from it? Did you laugh during Tucker’s recent film flop when what’s-his-name stated that overweight women aren’t real people? Do you smile smugly when your billion-dollar corporation profits from douchebaggery?
gawker.com/5363233/tucker-maxs-campaign-of-hate-against-chicagos-transit-system “The ads were poetic ditties of white text on a black background. Like: "Blind girls never see you coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding)."”
“Over at the Washington, D.C., premiere, Max’s video minion ridicules both Vietnamese and African-American women, the former for being employed as a pedicurist, and the latter for having a name he finds funny.”
washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
Do you enjoy profiting from making fun of Asians and overweight women? imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148314040
tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Does this make you laugh Ms. Painton? It is not too late to choose the right direction for Simon and Schuster and CBS and walk away from publishing Assholes Finish First. At most it will bring in a few pennies, which will lead everyone to conclude that you and CBS aren’t in it for the money, but just the debauchery and destruction of the culture. As Tucker Max pointed out, the feminist movement empowered women and gave them the right to choose the art they affiliated with and promote. So now, with all the power in your hands, what will you chose on behalf of women all over the world? Please do us proud and choose the right thing.
“The ad campaign for the new flick "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" includes slogans like "Deaf Girls Can't Hear You Coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding!)."”
nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/New-Movie-Ads-Take-Offensive-to-the-Max-59695522.html
So basically his plan to expand is to park his bus in front of theatres in the Mid-Atlantic region: desperately begging, bribing, and cajoling audiences to buy tickets.
Tucker has many, many flaws, but this obliviousness to the truth (that the movie simply isn't that good) verges on delusional.
Lets see, they dropped $4m on advertising, and another $2m on prints/theater bookings/tour, and they grossed a whopping sub $400k for the first week? And he thinks things are about to get better & all he needs is word of mouth?
And how exactly does he think they are "going to make a grip of $$" on DVD sales? The foreign rights are gone, unless Darko is run by idiots they will need to recoup all of the $11.8m (net as of today) that they've are underwater on this before Tucker sees dime one, and almost EVERY movie suffers a substantial decline after the opening weekends BO.
What Tucker fails to realize is that just b/c somebody, in a fit of boredom at an airport, bought his book, they didn't automatically become a raving fan.
And even worse, that a 24% on RT certainly doesn't mean that everyone who sees it is going to recommend it to their friends.
This is Tucker Max Fail at its finest.
1. Ask fans to talk about the movie: If you’ve seen the movie, please tell your friends. It’s that simple.
Oh Tucker, I have been, which is why NONE OF THEM SAW YOUR FILM.
Thanks for making fun of me because you thought I looked Jewish at your Q&A session you racist fuck.
tucker's hijinx makes Priscilla Painton laugh:
"1. Ask fans to talk about the movie: If you’ve seen the movie, please tell your friends. It’s that simple.
Oh Tucker, I have been, which is why NONE OF THEM SAW YOUR FILM.
Thanks for making fun of me because you thought I looked Jewish at your Q&A session you racist fuck."
Bobo Sacamano
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 23
Validation Points: 10
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for deleting my post Ryan Holiday. Are you apart of the ministry of disinformation? Anything said in critique of amateur hour is deleted? Tucker Max's movie is fucking terrible. Bubble Boy got a higher rating on rottentomatoes. BUBBLE BOY! A story about a kid in a bubble. Go fuck yourself Holiday. You suck at writing too. Stick to blogs, the lot of you!
__________________
"I couldn't find a movie quote that best describes my personality." - Some guy named me
"Thanks for making fun of me because you thought I looked Jewish at your Q&A session you racist fuck."
I went to jr. high school with Tucker. In 7th grade he drew swastikas on his hands in a attempt to piss of his social studies teacher (Mr. Esrael, who, as it turned out, wasn't even jewish) This was followed by his reading "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" and declaring that, despite what we might think based on his skin tone and blond hair, really, he's black.
"Welcome to Obamerica. The unemployment rate for Americans aged 16-24 is hitting 52% right now.
But don't worry, white folks just need to pay more money to send black inner city kids to college, then everything'll be fine."
This is what was said. This is a clear distinction involving race by your own words.
You break down people into little nice categories where you can label them.
A lot like the douchebag this thread is about.
When you start tossing around White folks pay for Black Folks and associate it with the POTUS it is nothing but latent racism.
Don't blame me if you're too stupid to understand the unemployment figures and just believe whatever some news person says and count it as "your opinion" when it is really someone elses opinion.
"Obama is a fool. That is a simple fact. It is not racist to point out that a black man happens to be an incompetent."
Again, that's not what was said. The situation was related to people who are white and are black. This is not semantics. There's no other way to interpret something like that.
And obviously...who would listen to you because you have no understanding of anything at all. I'm quite certain it is you who is the tool because you think you know things without really digging and looking into them.
"immediately cease all federal support to all insolvent institutions such as Citibank or Bank of America or General Motors and compel them to enter bankruptcy the way insolvent companies are supposed to do."
You're an idiot. A) That is what corporate Americas plan was...the people who hire people, their plan was to be bailed out. B) Do you not realize that "little" tremor we saw last October/November was only from the failure of Lehman Bros.
Citibank, BoA, AIG are several times the size of Lehman Bros.
C) The bailout was done under the last POTUS. The banks haven't taken any money this year...you could see that if you ever bothered to look at a bank balance sheet or own stock (like some of us who don't just speculate about how markets work)
D) Complaining about 16% U6 unemployment now? Had they allowed those places to fail you would be looking at 30 and 40% unemployment...something worse than the depression.
Just keep talking about things you have no understanding of and no correct timeline reference. Do you even know who was POTUS when the recession started?
Go over to RMMB, that's where you belong.
this is what happens when fmeinist rule.
50,000,000 babies aborted, the end of marriage, and now tucker's hijinx makes Priscilla Painton laugh and want to publish his books:
"1. Ask fans to talk about the movie: If you’ve seen the movie, please tell your friends. It’s that simple.
Oh Tucker, I have been, which is why NONE OF THEM SAW YOUR FILM.
Thanks for making fun of me because you thought I looked Jewish at your Q&A session you racist fuck."
Stats douche.... Before you posted this, I'd just found the original post and was going to apologize. I wrote the stfu posts.
However... You remain arrogant... So even though I admit I overlooked the racially insensitive comment... You still need to stfu
You keep telling people thwyre like tucker.. Like fanbois.... Stupid... Etc....
Well you know what you're like... A mentally ill person with a pervasive personality disorder that doent allow you to make a point without putting down someone else
Even Tucker doesn't do that....
Excuse the typos... Shitty iphone keyboard and autocorrect
"Well, the test is in the results, and the first week numbers are back, and they are…well, they’re not good or bad, which is the weirdest thing."
Really? This is your angle. Ok. I'm game let's see you explain why they are not bad.
"If they had been awesome, then we had a plan on how to capture the momentum and really push this to huge heights. And if the numbers just sucked, then we had a plan on how to best cut our losses and position the DVD."
So the latter then?
"But our numbers are neither; they are all over map. In some cities and complexes, we are the #1 movie, in others, we barely got anyone out."
BS. I call it. What did cloudy with a chance of meatballs average Tucker? You are claiming you beat that movie out? Anywhere?
Show us proof. You must have the data back, give the averages of the theaers where you were #1.
"We averaged a $3,000 per screen average, which is not really good or bad–it’s mediocre, which is what makes it so perplexing."
It's bad. It's just bad. Get over it. That per screen opening would be considered terrible for any independent or studio movie for the opening weekend. Anyone of them.
"It’s not a bomb, but it’s not really good enough to justify triggering a huge expansion loan. So we are stuck in something of a middle ground: We have a movie that is doing extremely good in some areas, not good in others."
Let me guess...the college towns where you only had 1 theater right?
So straight to DVD right? Because you can't justify expanding.
"Here is the most frustrating part: We know the movie is great. We have now screened this for 15,000 people, and seen the raucous standing ovations after every screening."
Right...so your contending that at around 30 tour stops there was 500 sold out to the max at each? That's your position?
Again, more BS.
"We heard from at least 20 independent sources about crowds erupting in applause after seeing in theaters all over the country."
Which one? The ones with 12 people or the ones with 20?
"We know the people that are seeing it are loving it. People who hate a movie don’t sit on negative feedback, and you can search on Twitter and Facebook and see the overwhelmingly positive response. For every negative response about the movie, there are 80 positive. It’s crazy."
Wrong. Even with your fanboys flooding RT with completely biased reviews, fake accounts, multiple accounts etc, you still only get a 60%, IMDb 50%, meaning at least half of everyone hated it.
And also...yeah the last 12 tweets you recieved today? Because that's all the tweets you get in a day.
And critically you were just squashed. Absolutely crushed.
"But the other main response we are getting, especially from fans, is “There is a Tucker Max movie coming out?” We clearly didn’t reach enough of my fans to get their awareness about the movie up and get them out to the theaters the first weekend."
You mean your revolutionary tour didn't do what it was supposed to do?
"I think the main problem comes back to an issue we knew we had going in: Money. It is extremely difficult to market a movie without dumping at least 20 million dollars into it. The Hangover spent 40 million on advertising. We spent 4 million."
The main issue is as Biscuits said, you never should have bothered after you couldn't get a Studio to distribute it. You threw good money, after bad.
"Maybe what we tried to do is impossible"
Finally, Tucker admits he may have been wrong...
"or maybe it is possible and we just didn’t use the right strategy."
Oh Fuck...I see some ridiculous plan that will now "truly revolutionize" the business.
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