The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,918 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 10401 – 10600 of 15918 Newer› Newest»Not sure about you guys but I just ordered 14 'why so syria' tshirts from Tuckers site. Mans a millionaire for reason assnhol;es.
Goo KLentucky!!!
THE ONION WEIGHS IN!
Beer in Hell 'has surfaced to fart, loudly, on the corpse of comedy' jet
is this going to get tucker his private jet he keeps boasting about and $25,000,000 opening weekend? is tucker's film going to beat the hangover easily, as tucker stated? is this tour just like motley crew? what do you fanboys/volunteers on the bus/employees think?
what say you?
from:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-trailer-killed-come,31727/
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Trailer Killed Comedy (Again)
5 stages of grief
by Amelie Gillette August 17, 2009
As you are well aware, at least once every summer, a movie trailer comes out that is so violently tedious, so aggressively unfunny that it throttles this thing known as comedy until it stops moving and lies slackjawed and motionless on screen. Since Friedberg & Seltzer (fortunately) don't have a fart-writing spectacle coming out for a while, the Robin Williams/John Travolta "We have to raise these kids together?!" groan inducer, Old Dogs stepped up to kill comedy. But now a new trailer has surfaced to fart, loudly, on the corpse of comedy because that's the funniest thing it can think of to do. That corpse-of-comedy defiler? I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. As far as I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell is concerned, comedy is beyond dead. The only thing left to do now is mourn the loss by watching the trailer and cycling through the five stages of grief.
--http://www.avclub.com/articles/i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-trailer-killed-come,31727/
f
why sooooo seriousss?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMiqVcBAHzI
donnie darko doucheo/cbs corporation/simon spotlight hath given you an immense, charitable gift.
they threw $12,000,000+ at the world's most epic douchebag to entertain you, and they did it as a charitable donation, as they won't make it back.
the fart-art farse is truly worth $12,000,000, and we've got the best seats in the house. the real story is not up on the silver screen, as tucker wasn't smart/talented enough to capture the higher truths and deeper reality.
instead, with his $12,000,000, tucker hired an army of d-list douchetards, as tucker is a most jealous god and he must create art in his own image. he learned the craft of screenwriting from their soulless lsat courses and gutted curriculums.
he always conformed. he always toed his masters' line. he kneeled before them as they knighted him with book advances and millions of dollars. he went to all the right schools, and said and did all the right things, and even exalted abortion in humorous stories so as to please his corporate-statist elders.
he conformed to all corporate-state dictates. he read the handbook and pledged tehir fraternity, doing everything they asked as a diligent employee. he violated a young woman's anus while taping it without her consent, as the corporate powers expect all the best and brightest young men to do these days, rewarding them with cash and Duke scholarships.
tucker is the very paragon of corporate-state intelligence, poise, character, honesty, and integrity.
the only question is, then, why is he epic failing?
what could it all mean?
i thought tucker was too big to fail!
sit back, relax, and enjoy the sex-ray videos and bus tour!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMiqVcBAHzI
this will be watched more than tucker's movie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YcIQYCkJPI
and it cost about $12,000,000 less.
why sooo serious fanboyz! ohhh yeah--life goes on! (feel free to clap in your corproate-state cubicle as you slave away for tucker's investors)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vxKSSkgacE&feature=fvw
thank tucker for doing all the work for you. thank his investors for losing money.
it is not your money, so you can laugh. it is healthy to laugh now and then.
even this will be watched more:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P27ZNx9ovds&feature=fvw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUxFKc6gd9U&feature=related
c'mon admit you laughed!
so much funnier than tucker's $12,00,000 poopie jokes. no?
i heard the final dance scene got cut from the film? who cut it? bob or tucker?
no way am i seeing it now... with the best scenes on the cutting-room floor.
maybe if you guys help out with the lyrics, they'll add it back to the film?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6r4KT8-VX0
I did my best to blow this
hired bob gosse for the top line
I am the assclown of surrender
The douche in life I find
And richard kelly gets nervous
All his cash flies out the door
Dot my eyes
Fart your art...
Touch my sore
Are we human?
Or are we douchebag?
My film is fail
My hands are small
And Nils is 'tween my knees
Lookin' for the answer
Are you a man?
Or are you douchebag?
Pay my respects to Gosse and Bradford
Send my condolences to Matt
Give my regards to Stults's Bromance,
They always douched the best they could
And so long to Darko's money
Tucker taught them how to blow
Wave goodbye
Tickets don't sell..
You've gotta let $12,000,000 go
Are we human?
Or are we douchebag?
My jet's a minivan
My hands are small
And nils is 'tween my knees
Looking for the answer
Are you a man?
Or are you douchebag?
Will darko's bank be alright
As the bus drives off into the night?
There is no money we're receiving
Let me know is nils still eating
Are we human?
Or are we douchebag?
My film is vile
My hands are small
And I'm 'tween nil's knees
Lookin' for the answer
You've gotta help me blow
Are we human?
Or are we douchebag?
My film is vile
My hands are small
And Dawes is 'tween my knees
Lookin' like he's fifty
Are we human
Or are we darko?
Are we human?
Or are we douchebag?
Are we human
Or are we darko?
maybe if you guys help out with the lyrics, they'll add it back to the film?
The Federal Reserve funded Tucker to distract you from this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/us/politics/13protestweb.html
so true.
tucker and richard kelly hate on america with their elite, secretive tapings of anal sex agenda.
the bus tour was funded so as to distract you from the rape of the taxpayer and the desecration of the constitution, which tucker, nils, and the fuglies they bone never talk about the constitution.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/us/politics/13protestweb.html
"Ruth Lobbs, 57, a schoolteacher from Jacksonville, Fla., said she flew to Washington on Saturday to protest how she believes the government has violated the Constitution. She said she did not vote for the president, adding that her anger has been building for years.
“It’s more than Obama — this isn’t a Republican or a Democratic issue,” Ms. Lobbs said as she held a yellow flag that declared, “Don’t Tread on Me.”
“I don’t know if anything will come of this or not,” she said, “but this is a peaceful way of showing our frustration.”"
--http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/us/politics/13protestweb.html
if you want to know why richard kelly and tucker nax's films are epic failingm it's because they caonsider good americans "conspiracy theorists," while riding around on a bus fornicating and belittling minorities and overweight women.
"We want our country to go back to the roots of doing what our Founding Fathers wanted us to do -- less government in every aspect of my life," she said. "We walked the streets of Williamsburg, and it felt like we were learning how to be a patriot."
--http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/12/AR2009091200971_pf.html
"The group's sponsors included FreedomWorks, a Washington-based group headed by former House majority leader Richard Armey (R-Tex.), and the groups Tea Party Patriots and ResistNet. They and others involved in the rally comprise a loose coalition of conservative groups that helped organize the health-care and anti-tax demonstrations in the spring and summer.
"Health care is not listed anywhere in the Constitution," said Brian Burnell, 45, who owns an insurance company on Maryland's Eastern Shore. His placard read, "How Is That Hopey Changey Thing Workin' Out For Ya?"
"You want socialism?" said Susan Clark, a District resident marching with a bullhorn. "Go to Russia!"
The huge turnout indicated the growing frustration with Obama among conservative activists and showed that his nationally televised speech Wednesday did little to move his political opponents on health care.
Although it is unclear whether the demonstrators represent a large segment of voters or even of Republicans, Saturday's march illustrated that activists, some of whom are not enthusiastic about the GOP, have been galvanized.
"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/12/AR2009091200971_pf.html
the central bankers/donnie dark douchos detest the common man, his family, his morality, his religion, and his constitution.
"Holding a sign that said "Preserve, Protect, Defend" on a Red Line Metro train packed with conservative activists, Mapps fretted over a "blatant disregard for the Constitution." "
--http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/12/AR2009091200971_pf.html
This is a huge risk because it seems like Cockly has disappeared again, but at least there's some chance he bans mccoy from his new blog, whereas it's never happening here.
Anyway, here it is:
http://www.tuckermaxisadouche.blogspot.com/
"This is a huge risk because it seems like Cockly has disappeared again, but at least there's some chance he bans mccoy from his new blog, whereas it's never happening here.
Anyway, here it is:
http://www.tuckermaxisadouche.blogspot.com/" --richard kelly
Who is Richard Kelly?
despite the vulgar, vehement protests form the tucker max/donnie dark doucho camp, this blog hath vastly improved over the past few days.
keep up the laughter!
southland tales was a doozy!!
despite the vulgar, vehement protests form the tucker max/donnie dark doucho camp, this blog hath vastly improved over the past few days.
keep up the laughter!
southland tales was a doozy!!
yup.
richard kelly is a douchebag:
http://media.photobucket.com/image/richard%20kelly%20douchebag/The_Playlist/movies_music/arcade-fire-thebox.jpg
http://media.photobucket.com/image/richard%20kelly%20douchebag/The_Playlist/movies_music/arcade-fire-thebox.jpg
haha haa ha!
richard kelly fail is even greater than tucker max fail--here is a review of his film:
"Consequently, I can recommend it to 'enhanced interrogation' practitioners who are tired of waterboarding."
--http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/southland_tales/?page=2&critic=columns&sortby=date&name_order=asc&view
a question to the tucker-max-darko camp: "you guys have tens of millions of fiat dollars from the fed. so why are you so embarrassed to post your real names here?"
this fed guy is about as annoying as viacom guy.
fed guy is a pretty cool guy. eh adds nonsense to this blog and doesnt afraid of anything.
"this fed guy is about as annoying as viacom guy.
fed guy is a pretty cool guy. eh adds nonsense to this blog and doesnt afraid of anything." --richard kelly douchebag
http://media.photobucket.com/image/richard%20kelly%20douchebag/The_Playlist/movies_music/arcade-fire-thebox.jpg
"Consequently, I can recommend it to 'enhanced interrogation' practitioners who are tired of waterboarding."
--http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/southland_tales/?page=2&critic=columns&sortby=date&name_order=asc&view
hilarious! richard kelly caught posting at imdb!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/147378864
hilarious! richard "i am douchebag/epic hollywood fail" kelly caught posting at imdb!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/147378864
No one gives a shit about Richard Kelly, Donnie Darko, etc....the important fact is that
TUCKER MAX IS A DOUCHEBAG!
^^^^
AND I FUNDED HIM!!!
--Richard "I am epic hollywood fail" Kelly
"alright, you caught me. this is richard kelly and you successfully stifled my attempt to get you to change the topic of discussion. well done." --http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/147378864?d=147384941&p=2#147384941
Does anyone remember a story Bunny wrote about staying with some chick who had a kid? The woman may have been a friend of Tucker's. I think they get in some fight and then Bunny left. Or some shit like that. Ring a bell with anyone? What story is that?
Does anyone remember a story Bunny wrote about staying with some chick who had a kid? The woman may have been a friend of Tucker's. I think they get in some fight and then Bunny left. Or some shit like that. Ring a bell with anyone? What story is that?
It's that one story.
Hey, y'all- I put up a new post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
Hey, y'all- I put up a new post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
JUST FOR THE RECORD, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT TUCKER MAX RAPED ANN MARIE SLIVA IN 1996 CAUSING HER TO KILL HERSELF A YEAR LATER. I JUST DON'T.
Double dare anybody to make this their IMDB signature.
"Hey, y'all-my name is richard kelly. I put up a new post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated (like the rudius message board) and make sure these jackasses who speak truth to darko-tuckermax power don't ruin our fun. our investors have suggested that we create a better venue to discuss our poopy jokes, douchbaggery, epic fail films, and fart art."
^^^^ if that's really richard kelly, he;s twice the douchbag i thought.
Hey, y'all- I put up a new post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
TDG and others - redirect to new blog. Bring back the funny! Goal- 500 posts on new blog by 25 September.
"TDG and others - redirect to new blog where we can track your ips! Bring back the funny! Goal- 500 posts on new blog by 25 September. we will censor anyone who criticizes tucker's genius and film!" --richard kelly
I went to the Chicago show last night. It was totally awesome and I had a great time. I'm even in a picture with Tucker with me holding my SWAG bag. I can't wait to pay more money out of my pocket to make Tucker richer.
Okay, enough with that nonsense. I was incognito last night and played the part of "classic Tucker fan" (I'm even in a picture with Tucker).
First off, the movie sucks, and it's easy to pinpoint why it sucks. The character of Tucker Max has no humanity. A lot of other people will say a lot more words, but that's the sum of what I got out of it. The character has no soul and might as well be a cartoon character in a bad Ralph Bakshi movie. On top of that, it's a cartoon character in a cartoon plotted story. If the Hangover is The Transformers then IHTSBIH is The GoBots, only it's a bad rip off of The GoBots with even worse dialogue and carbon copy characters from other better done cartoons.
This film is going to be ripped to shreds by critics as it might be the most unlikable film of all time. A biopic about Hitler (played by OJ Simpson) would be more likable. You have a totally dislikable character, where, if you don't find him charming and witty like Tucker hopes you will, you're going to hate this film overall. I can't see most of America connecting with this at all. The situations he gets in are thinly drawn out and badly directed. The dialogue falls flat every single time they go off the book page and rely on the scripted page.
Is it offensive? Not really. Maybe it would have been back in 1989, but by today's standard it's tame.
IHTSBIH's fatal flaw though is that it's just not that funny. To illustrate how unfunny it was, I will tell you the scenerio where I laughed the most while at the film.
Have you ever been at a movie that you've seen the trailer for 1000 times, yet when that scene is played out onscreen for the 1001st time there is always one or two people who force laughter as though it's now totally and completely funny as the first time they've seen it? And when I say "force" I mean they laugh at it like they just took the best shit ever? That is exactly what watching this film was like, only multiply it by about 100 and you'll know my pain. This happens over and over in the film, and frankly it just doesn't work on screen, but for the idiots, it works like the miracle worker.
Yes, Tucker is going to shit himself, there is no set up because we already know the outcome and we're going to see it in all it's glory. Now prepare your mind for this, I heard at least 3 people say this:
"I can't wait to see him shit himself."
and imagine TDG laughing his head off at the absurdity of it all. To me, watching idiots get excited about somebody shitting themselves, and outwardly talking about it amongst themselves might have been the funniest moment of my viewing of this premie... er... screening.
More later tomorrow or sometime so I can tell you my run in with Bill Dawes.
-TDG
Hey, y'all- I put up a new post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
Keep copying and pasting this guys... let's get rid of the trolls once and for all.
No, we need to get this up to 12500 first.
Right guys?
Guys???
GUYS?????????
don't forget about BIFF guy. that fucker's annoying as hell, too.
"(I'm even in a picture with Tucker)."
I don't suppose you can point us to which photo it is (whenever Tuckmeister gets them posted)?
HI I AM BIFF
Y DO YOU SAY I AM ANNOYING I AM JUST TYPING AT YOU AND NOT USING BAD WORDS
BUT YOU ARE A BAD WORD PERSON
MAYBE YOU HAD A BRICK DROPPED ON UR HEAD AS A BABY THAT WUD EXPLAIN UR LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS
- BIFF!!!
I MEANT TO ANSWER THE POST ABOVE MINE (MINE AT 8:21) (THE POST AT 8:11) (ABOVE MINE AT 8:21) BUT THE OTHER PERSON POSTED FIRST SO THAT IS NOT THE POST I AM ANSWERING (NOT THE POST AT 8:19 ABOVE MY POST) (MY OTHER POST)
- BIFF!!!
"I don't suppose you can point us to which photo it is (whenever Tuckmeister gets them posted)?"
Sure, I'm the white guy.
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
Keep copying and pasting this guys... let's get rid of the trolls once and for all.
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
Keep copying and pasting this guys... let's get rid of the trolls once and for all.
___________________________________
Come on, trolls! what are you going to do now?!
Do it.
THE REVIEWS KEEP ON ROLLIN' IN:
http://media.www.bcheights.com/media/storage/paper144/news/2009/09/14/ArtsReview/Tucker.Maxs.Movie.Is.Probably.Shown.In.Hell-3770172.shtml
Of course, it certainly HELPS bring the signal to noise ratio down for other blogs to spam and troll here in addition to the nutcases.
"Tucker Max has proudly established himself as king of the tools"
Hahahahaha
I want to read more about TDG's experiences.
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Go here for your hater-fix, people. we're going to move all the traffic from here to over there- they put up a new entry just for us to use instead of this place- so we can avoid the trolls.
or just click on my name, i put the link in there.
i have confirmation from UT that they still have tickets available as of 5 pm on Friday.
so much for selling his show out in the town upon which his story is based.
dumbfuck.
Thing is, that sort of lie is just the run of the mill ordinary sort of lie; it's what we've come to expect of him. What I'm looking forward to is what he says in the days after the 25th, when his movie utterly fails to do anything.
It's less than two weeks until Tucker crashes and burns. How much money will Tucker receive if the film only takes in $400,000 during its two week run in theaters?
Most of the people in this video, including the guy holding the mic, are douchebags: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdOO_PnL6s
I hope that Jimmy, the old man from this post: http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/2006/08/real-life-tucker-max-stories.html shows up at a screening and beats Tucker Max with his cane again.
I see Reposter Guy is spamming the other thread with what I wrote here.
Suit yourself, Reposter Guy.
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so
when tdg poasted about being the white guy
he was jes messin with us
tucker's startin to get a five thousand yard stare in those photos, like he's stared at cameras so much in the past two weeks he can't even see them anymore
Well, I admit I kinda wonder what the point was of paying to see the movie when you know it's bad. I mean, we _know_ what all the stupidity actually is, don't need to pay Tucker and help him from failing quite as bad as he otherwise would.
Why give him tenbux when there's so many better things to be done with it?
I'm starting to think this is being purposefully done by the guys at the other blog to drive traffic to their place. There were calls to switch to another blog earlier but those went nowhere, it's only recently that the garbage has gotten out of hand.
^^^^^^
So don't post there. I'm not going to leave here and will continue to post here and only here.
-TDG
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3914077065/in/set-72157622352860486/
Now THAT is a freaky looking guy.
But look at Tucker. Same blank look as with all the others. How is that possible?
Are we SURE that's not a cardboard cutout Tucker?
"I'm starting to think this is being purposefully done by the guys at the other blog to drive traffic to their place. There were calls to switch to another blog earlier but those went nowhere, it's only recently that the garbage has gotten out of hand."
I can't speak for Light, but I'm not behind the trolling. I wouldn't think Light is either- he's not really on often enough to care.
I WOULD like to see the traffic from this site move over to ours, but it's not like we get paid for it or anything; it's exactly what I've said- it's better if we have a place where retarded, useless comments like the "ERIN TYLER" one above are removed. They add nothing to the exchange, and only serve to discredit those of us with legitimate points against Tucker.
TDG, I hope you change your mind and come post on the new spot. Either way, keep up the good work!
^^^This is me, by the way.
1. TDG, I love you, but don't hate the Gobots... I like Gobots. I was poor.
2. Bunny breakin down again? Someone please get her some help, seriously.
3. Only a few weeks left... mind blowing and revolutionary cinema to follow.
I just saw a commercial for Tucker's movie during a commercial break during the ESPN broadcast of Monday Night Football. It looks terrible.
My Date With Bill Dawes:
So I went to the Chicago premi... er... screening. It was a pretty horrible movie, but that's not why I went.
As I have said before, I did not go by myself to the movie. I thought I was too late for the tickets, but miracle of miracles, I was able to not only get tickets for myself, but for my friends Everette and Troy as well. “Sold Out” really doesn’t have the same meaning in Tucker’s world as it does in real life, but alas. Originally I really had no idea on who I was going to bring to the show when I got the tickets, so I decided to call up two of my black friends because I thought they’d find Tucker Max to be HILARIOUS just like white frat boys.
So I told Everette about the movie, and he had NO IDEA WHO TUCKER MAX WAS!!! So I showed him the site, told him that a movie was made about the subject and that he had a free ticket to go TO THE PREMIERE!!!
About an hour later Everette called me back to say “no fucking way.” He also said that his writing seemed like the next chapter on the website www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. In other words, he wasn’t feeling it. He also said that there was absolutely no way that most of these stories happened. I told him that he underestimated the power of white priviledge and he could call him out on his bullshit TO HIS FACE!!!
So we went. Everette called his friend Troy up (also black) to come and witness what was going to happen. Troy also NEVER HEARD OF TUCKER MAX BEFORE, yet Everette compelled him to show up, saying “Troy, we’re going to fuck with racist frat boys”.
Anyway, we saw the movie. Throughout the movie Everette kept telling me that he was going to punch me for taking him to the show. Obviously he wasn't feeling it. Movie ends, and we wait around for the big Q&A, but for some reason, Bill Dawes would not come near us with the mic. At some point or another he came by us, made eye contact with me, looked at my large black friends and moved to another lucky Tucker fan a few rows ahead of us.
Probably a good thing too, as Everette already had a question ready: "Do you really think you're fooling anybody outside of these morons?"
My question was also simple: "Why is the revolution only at 75% capacity?"
Unfortunately we didn't get that far as we sat through about 40 minutes of lame ass sex stories from dumb white kids (and when I say "kids", I mean "under 18" because that was the description for at least 1/2 the crowd. Don't believe me? Look at his pictures from the Chicago show), we decided to leave and wait outside to see if we could meet Bill Dawes on camera.
And meet him we did.
-TDG
^^^ You left us hanging, TDG. I suspect you did this intentionally; like a great showman, you're drawing your story out to entertain and intrigue us. Good work!
Remember, guys, let's try to move the action on THIS blog over to Light's blog, where the comments will be moderated, so we don't have to deal with nonsense like the spam and the trollers. There's a new post set up for us to use. Click my name or use this URL:
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
I am looking forward to the next section of TDG's story a ridiculous amount.
Just for the record I haven't been spamming this blog to get people moving over to our one. Though it does bemuse me that there are people who have nothing better to do than spam this one infinitesimally inconsequential blog. But then again, what the fuck do I know - I made a Tucker Max hate site.
TDG if that story is true then I seriously want to buy you a beer. And not in the faggy frat boy way neither, breh.
Light,
The next part of the story is pretty funny, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
"Light,
The next part of the story is pretty funny, I'm sure you'll enjoy it."
TDG,
You're not hyping it nearly as much. You need to promise that it is the most revolutionary encounter ever;and that you were offered 8 figures to tell the tale
PMC
Seriously folks, what's up with all these useless pieces of walking shit I see walking freely in the inner city, with stereos on their churning out the extent of their moral guidelines- rap music. Niggers think that all that matters in the world is sex, cars, and violence. They express this freely, and now their primitive garbage dominates mainstream culture. As a result, there are white people that have bought into their thuggish fantasies- WHITE PEOPLE!
And we let these brutes roam free.
Look up any national statistics on the committal of violent crime such as rape, armed robbery, and murder, and what race leads the way by over 250%?
Niggers.
What racial group has the lowest median IQ in the United States of America?
Niggers.
What racial group has the highest percentage of people on welfare?
Niggers.
Because Niggers are nothing but a bunch of innately inferior, half-witted simian brutes that want to turn everything we whites have built into a moral and intellectual cesspit. How can they possibly be considered equal?
And yet Barrack "Hussein" Obama, a slow-speaking demagogue and friend to 911 conspiracy nuts, is poised to run in the US presidential elections, just so it can be said that we at one point had a nigger president.
These things make me sick, and I say to you, my fellow white brothers and sisters, we must act now before it is too late, and the evils of "multiculturalism" have become entrenched in our society.
Glory to the white race,
TDG
^^^ this is the reason why.
_____________________________________
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Let's see if we can't redirect some of the traffic from this site over there. I'll keep it moderated and make sure these jackasses don't ruin our fun.
Keep copying and pasting this guys... let's get rid of the trolls once and for all.
My date with Bill Dawes: Part II
In this episode: We find that Bill Dawes gets flustered very easily.
So we left the show during the Q&A session. Everette remarked that this event was "the dollar store of premieres". He was correct. The theater was small, the screen had been splashed by soda earlier and never got cleaned and the lighting sucked. It was low rent by any standard, which was weird because Tucker lived in Chicago and still has a lot of friends in the area.
Anyway, Everette does not like Bill Dawes. Upon watching videos of various premieres he singled out Dawes as "the 40 year old cracker" who says all sort of racist shit and pretends it's "guys just being guys". He then looked him up on YouTube and saw some more of Bill's "act", the one where he calls himself a "wigger" over and over and pretends he's a homeboy by playing up racial stereotypes (albeit: badly). Everette was raised in the projects of Chicago and got himself out of there with a lot of hard work. He hates it when blacks play up their own stereotypes and hates it even more when whites do the same.
Needless to say, he hates Bill Dawes to the point of pathology. When we came into the theater he wasn't looking for Tucker or Nils, he was looking for Dawes. Eventually we saw Dawes at the door, but the movie started soon afterward and he decided to talk to him after the show.
So the show ends, we leave and get our "SWAG" bag. Now, I'm all about free shit, but I hate Tucker Max. So, after getting the SWAG I had to take a shit and wiped my ass with what was in the bag and left it in the theater sink. I'm sure the theater owner mentioned that to Tucker, and I'm sure Tucker, ever the penny pincher, instructed an intern to rinse off all the goodies and put it back into another SWAG bag. Fuck it if he can't take a joke.
Anyway, so we wait and wait and wait for the show to end, this gave me Ev and Troy some time to concoct some funny theories on the movie, one of which was that Tucker is actually a homosexual who is a performance artist, and he's so deep into his role that he forgot who he was, yet always remembers that he's gay when he can't get it up for a lady. This is why he drinks a lot and why he overcompensates so much. He's making too much money to give up the rouse, but the money is nothing compared to the void in his soul. He is forever stuck in a role of being a person he hates.
We've also come up with similar theories about Rush Limbaugh, but this one seemed very appropriate at the time.
More later.
-TDG
TDG, your latest entry is fucking beautiful so far.
More please.
Dawes appears to sexually assault a young college girl (striped top, sitting down) near the start of the latest 'tour' video taken at Madison. How low can these pieces of shit go?
TDG,
Did Tucker shit himself because I heard that part was like OMG funny? I mean, do you actually see someone shit themselves in a movie? If I ever see something like that I won't be able to keep myself from laughing because shitting yourself is just the funniest thing, particularly when you know the character is going to shit themselves. . . like so bad. . like shit themselves. I wonder if it would be epically as funny if it was a surprise and that you didn't know that he was going to shit himself. . . like it just happened unexpectedly. Kind of like in the Sixth Sense where you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead until the end. But it had to be really funny to see a mexican cleaning lady clean it up. I hope they showed that part because the only thing more OMG funny than seeing a person shit themselves when you know they really are going to shit themselves, is if a mexican cleaning lady cleans up the mess, that you knew the person who shit himself made. Oh, and if all the serving people were black. That would be almost as funny as a predictable shitting episode that you knew in advance was going to happen.
Please TDG, we need a more detailed description of the shitting scene so that when we see it, we will know it is the best shitting scene ever filmed by Bob Gosse.
^^^
richard kelly also shits on himself with every movie he makes.
zing!
12:00, i noticed that too, as she moved his hands away.
bill dawes is such a loser. 99% of the time his "jokes" are just cruel, not funny. such as throwing the cookies at the overweight girl, singling out the black people for "lol funny token black guy" jokes you've heard a million times.
but hey, this is why bill dawes is on the ihtsbih payroll and not in any comedy circles containing people such as lisa lampanelli, ari shaffir, louis ck. these comedians are also known for being comically insulting, difference is they're funny!
"Please TDG, we need a more detailed description of the shitting scene so that when we see it, we will know it is the best shitting scene ever filmed by Bob Gosse."
It is a shitting scene so revolutionary that you will shit yourself in awe of the pure shittiness of the shitty shit and shit.
My date with Bill Dawes: Part III
In this episode: Bill Dawes shows his love of black people while he gets made fun of by them.
Okay, so now we're outside the theater. Everette and Troy are getting antsy. They want to meet one of the people who brought us this film. That's not completely true because Everette wanted to meet Bill Dawes because in his mind, Dawes is nothing more than a racist cracker who hides behind the "I'm just a comedian" persona. I personally don't find him to be any more racist than any other comedian out there, albeit he is FAR LESS FUNNY. Hes just not that interesting or cerebral, so he goes for the lowest common denomenator, which is saying some questionable shit for gasps from the audience. This is probably the reason why he's such a lowly regarded comic, but hey, it's his career, not mine.
But it's not really his standup act that got Ev pissed off, it was the bullshit Q&A sessions that he saw that set him off. From his eyes, he's wondering why Bill always seems to pick out a black person from the audience and then denegrates that person by playing up negative stereotypes towards blacks. Bill is the MC, and in Everette's opinion, that means he's the guy who is picking out who is going to speak.
It's one thing to do it once or twice, but Bill Dawes is making it part of his job description to pick out black people. I do realize that it's probably at the behest of Tucker, who is obviously a racist, but still, Bill could just say "no thanks". Tucker can't fire him because who is going to take over the MC of his show? TheBunny? So we have Bill Dawes, who probably thinks he's "Mr. Black People" (cuz he listens to rap and pretends to break dance in his show), going up to black people and making them the headliners of their minstrel show.
Everette hates him for this. This is his story...
-TDG
"As we continue to build out the site for the movie, one of the things we will do is link every review or discussion of the movie we can find online. Good or bad, it doesn't matter what people say, as long as they talk about the movie, we will link it (and of course, I don't give a shit if the writer is a notable film critic or just some dude with a blogspot site, we will link you, everyone knows the critic is dead anyway)"
I'm pretty sure this is a blogger site, and I'm pretty sure we discuss the movie here... so why aren't getting linked on the movie website? Strange...
My Date with Bill Dawes: Part IV
In this episode: Dawes is a douchebag
So we're waiting for the show to end, as I have stated before, and finally people begin to walk out of the theater. We wait some more, and then Bill Dawes comes outside, telling everybody where to go for "the afterparty". So I go up to Bill Dawes and say:
TDG: Hey, aren't you Bill Dawes?
Bill: Why yes I am.
TDG: Loved you in that movie where you did that thing and people laughed.
Bill: (laughing) What movie?
TDG: Bill, like most of your movies, I forgot the title, but I think your role was called "Don't Blink Or You'll Miss Me".
Bill didn't quite hear me, or maybe he did hear me, because he sort of nodded and walked away. Anyway, this was the cue for Everette to do his thing. He approached him
Everette: Holy shit, Bill Motherfucking Dawes!!!
Bill: In the flesh.
Everette: I know. Can I get an autograph?
Bill: Yeah, sure dude. What do you want me to sign?
Everette: I was just fucking with you, I only get autographs from famous people.
Bill: Oh, um...
Everette: Say Bill, why didn't you come to us with the mic, you know how black people are around microphones, right?
Bill: .....
Everette: I would have asked you, Bill Dawes, why you find it a need to insult black people at your shows?
TDG: All 3 of them who show up.
Bill: Come on bro, I don't single out black people, I make fun of everybody.
Everette: Which brings me to my first question, why didn't you come to us with the mic? Do we fit your stereotype, or are you just afraid of black people in groups of two or more?
By this time, Dawes figured out something was up, and he tried to pretend that somebody was signaling him to leave us.
Bill: Gotta go guys, after party calls. You guys should come.
Troy: Yeah, you could buy us some malt liquor or other things you think black people like.
Everette: That's very white of you Bill, but you see it's taking every ounce of will power I have not to knock you out, add a couple of drinks into the mix and somebody might be missing teeth.
The silence was deafening.
Everette: You know what, that sounds like a great idea. I have nothing to do tomorrow, let's drink with our white friend Bill Dawes.
Troy: I want my motherfuckin' malt liquor served by a white chick. Hook it up Bill, yo!!!
Bill Dawes, for all of his comedic skills had no idea how to respond to this. To give you a visual reference of what he was up against, Everette is 6-2 200 pounds and Troy is 5-10 and about 230 of rock solid muscle. They are both teachers and dress the part, yet at this point the fear in Bill's eyes probably showed them like he just got put into a prison cell with them both. He was genuinely scared.
Bill: Well, gotta go...
TDG: Wait, where are you going to be at for the after party? You didn't tell us.
Bill: Uh, I dunno. Gotta run guys, thanks for com...
Everette: Motherfucker, I better get a call from you giving us directions, because if I find out from somebody else...
At this point, Bill Dawes, a "blue belt" in whateveritscalled kung fu went into a full jog away from us...
-TDG
Tomorrow, the aftermath.
i am really surprised that no one on the IHTSBIH tour has noticed that bill dawes is comically unfunny. he makes me frown. in a bad way. those videos are terrible.
who is giving him positive feedback? what the hell. its like we are in an alternate universe where everything that's unfunny gets a reward, even if it's a mild reward.
terrible
bill daws is 45?
more richard kelly/tucker max hijinx!! Douchebag Decree:
from:
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/douchebag-decree-marketing-tucker-max
Let's talk for a sec about
Posted by Ena (not verified) on September 11, 2009 - 1:49pm
Let's talk for a sec about something Tucker glamorizes and pretends is funny in his 'book': filming a naked women in his bedroom without her consent. I don't think it's a coincidence that while he's doing this he is coaxing the girl to have anal sex with him, an exploitative act that a guy like him probably especially enjoys.
There's nothing funny about Tucker Max and what he represents and I applaud you guys for opening the flood gates. There is more to this 'story' than a douchebag degree. When I saw the 'facts' listed on his website my jaw nearly hit the floor. To see such brazen misogyny turned into catchy marketing slogans is very, very, very scary.
reply
I'm glad that people are
Posted by Jessica (not verified) on September 11, 2009 - 6:41pm
I'm glad that people are fighting back against this monster. You're totally right, standing back and being complacent isn't going to prevent any rapes or repair the self-esteem of all the women who have been degraded by Tucker's gross stories. Even if Tucker hasn't assaulted a woman himself, I'm sure plenty of his moronic fans have done so as a direct result of his "comedy."
from:
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/douchebag-decree-marketing-tucker-max
I don't understand the point of The Deconstruction Guy's story. Bill Dawes is an unfunny douche, but so what if he didn't want to talk to some black people? What's the point of this rant?
"I don't understand the point of The Deconstruction Guy's story. Bill Dawes is an unfunny douche, but so what if he didn't want to talk to some black people? What's the point of this rant?" --richard kelly
"I don't understand the point of The Deconstruction Guy's story. Bill Dawes is an unfunny douche, but so what if he didn't want to talk to some black people? What's the point of this rant?" --richard kelly
"I don't understand the point of The Deconstruction Guy's story. Bill Dawes is an unfunny douche, but so what if he didn't want to talk to some black people? What's the point of this rant?"
It's not a rant, it's me telling a story, albeit not a great one. Somebody asked me what happened at the screening and I am telling them what happened.
However, I could lie and say how Everette and Troy beat the shit out of Bill Dawes and then I videotaped them taking turns raping them while saying a lot of stereotypical phrases. Then again, I'm not Tucker Max, so I won't lie about the story.
I'm not a writer, I'm a teacher. This is the story I'm telling as it happened. It's not written to be entertaining or a rant, it's written as me telling a story. I apologize if it came off as a rant, because that's not where I was going with it. I'm merely telling my account of going to one of Tucker's shows.
-TDG
^^^^^^^^^
Come on, how can you not love this line:
"Everette: I know. Can I get an autograph?
Bill: Yeah, sure dude. What do you want me to sign?
Everette: I was just fucking with you, I only get autographs from famous people.
--------------------------------
That's comedic gold. Keep up the good work TDG!!!
i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much.
would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?
one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5YXd7Vw20&feature=sub
Red Band Trailer just came out.
Sad to say, it's funny
"i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much.
would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?
one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Agreed
This is like when Tucker brought his two army buddies to that party and starting making fun of people because he knew he had backup.
It's cowardly. You talk a mean game online, but you can't back it up in real life without bodyguards. I'm disappointed TDG
The red band trailer is better than the green band trailer, but the movie still looks like a shitty low-budget b-movie. Who is going to pay $10 to see that pile of crap when you could wait a couple months and see it on Netflix if or through Redbox if you wanted to see it at all?
1:22, i just don't like seeing, or in this case hearing, about people being put in a place of discomfort as a result of threats (yeah even bill dawes). it's pathetic, and as you said it's no different than tucker and his crew. bill dawes wouldn't be hard to tear apart, and resorting to childish name calling and pumping your chest is a shitty way to go about it.
i posted the comment at 5:25 about bill dawes. i dislike the guy. but this is a huge let down by TDG, i'd expect more from someone who claims to be educated.
IMO it'd have been better to just go incognito, then come back with some funny observations for us to read.
Well it's good to see that I'm not the only one who was offended by TDG's antics.
For shame. Aren't we supposed to be mocking Tucker and his friends for pulling that shit?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5YXd7Vw20&feature=sub
Red Band Trailer just came out.
Sad to say, it's funny
----------------------------------
No, it isn't. Nearly as bad as the original green band trailer. Nearly.
I can see why some people might not have thought that what TDG did was completely the right way to go about it but two points:
1. This is exactly how Bill Dawes, Tucker, and company approach people who are minorities in their stories. So called comedic foil for their jokes. Its a white privilege to sit there and throw out negative stereotypes and just say "But shucks, I rip on everybody." Yet when your movie has no black characters of note and the wedding scene has all black servers and all white guests, there's an underlying issue of being complicit in there. From a narrative standpoint, Tucker cares only about himself and that's what fans will identify - a white dude who doesn't really have to work for what he does, regardless of what he says. The man is lazy and couldn't even write his own screenplay correctly.
2. They were entering into the belly of the beast. I almost went to that show but didn't want to deal with how stupid people were going to be. Bill Dawes controls the mic and therefore controls access to communication. To get him outside that element and challenge him on his view that he's "down with the blacks" is actually refreshing. Troy and Everette played into the same game he's been playing with everyone else. If it went down like what was said, then I think it was fine.
Reasoned debate and wit won't work at these things. The subtlety just will be ignored or missed.
"i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much."
First, I think you're just someone from the tour trying to defend what Dawes has been doing. His video clips suffer from sins far more than racist, and that it is gratuitously racist because it doesn't make anything to do with the movie any more appealing or funny. TDGs friends didn't punch Dawes, which would have been out of line, but I guy doing audience reaction pieces after doing racist Q & A is inviting some scary looks and a "reaction."
The story is a classic bully runaway by Dawes. Count how many times in videos he used black people as props to promote a film whose only real audience is rich spoiled white kids. Again, the line stops at Dawes face. As long as they didn't touch him, you need to man up. You put on a 21st century minstrel show, and there are no longer going to be black people cleaning off the black face and saying yassar! They might get a little angry.
would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?
one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are.
And I think that most of the negative posts so far has been one guy doing multiple posts.
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5YXd7Vw20&feature=sub
Red Band Trailer just came out.
Sad to say, it's funny" --Carrot Creative Employee
"i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much." --richard kelly
richard kelly or nils parker wrote, "i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much.
would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?
one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are."
richard kelly does not like it when you fight fire with fire.
in richard kelly's world of epic hollywood fail, mocking/fighting evil is bad, bad, bad.
Part I
From an obscure trade rag, Gosse talks about filming the shit scene, The International Guild Independent Director’s Quarterly (January 2009):
“We caught up with Golden Lion nominated independent director Bob Gosse who directed Robin Tunney to a Volpi Cup in Venice for “Niagara, Niagara” on the set of “Tonite at Noon,” a new film he is producing starring Ethan Hawke, and asked him about the most challenging scene he has ever filmed. Gosse was very candid and admitted that it occurred on the soon to be released Darko Production “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.”
According to Gosse, “most independent films rely upon a close collaboration between writer and the director, or in many cases, you are directing a film that you help write. For example, in “Julie Johnson,” Wendy Hammond and I had written the movie so if we encountered difficulties shooting a scene, we could revise the script, or change the scene without affecting anyone else’s artistic vision. But, for an indie where the writer wants to retain control over the final product, shooting even the simplest scene can be a problem.”
Gosse explained that “Beer in Hell” contemplated a scene where the lead character “shit his pants.’ “When I read the script, it became obvious that the scene did not connect to the rest of the story and just seemed like a Farrelly Brothers skit dropped at the end. I realized that if we filmed it as written, it would really seem like a simple sight gag, and both the writer and myself really wanted the movie to move away from standard teen comedy props. So I proposed that we incorporate the whole theme of the movie and make the “shit scene” into a metaphor. The lead character is a self-professed asshole, so my idea was that we would depart from the whole explosive diarrhea concept that worked in Dumb and Dumber but seemed like a cliché in this film, and instead, create a seen where the lead would be so constipated that he would literally shit out his asshole. This also integrated an earlier part of the story involving the characters ingesting a disgusting fast food product so that the constipation would really be part of a story that would have otherwise orphaned the fast food scene as well. “
Part II
Gosse went further and stated that after the shit scene, the lead was supposed to realize that he’d been acting like an asshole, and their was a whole redemption speech afterwards so that if he actually shit out his asshole, or prolapsed his rectum, and then went to the hospital to correct it, it would be a metaphor that the lead actually lost “his asshole.” “ I thought it was also important that the audience see the lead in pain, which would make him more human, and develop some audience sympathy for him, which was lacking. Well, the Darko folks loved the concept, and showing the actual constipation and movement of a severe fecal impaction actually can be shot as almost a birth experience, which we hoped could also be a metaphor for this characters “rebirth.” However, the writer strongly protested that it would destroy the story for the audience members who had expectations based upon his book.
Gosse told us that they actually shot two versions of the “shit scene” over the objections of the writer. “We had to ban him from the set for a week.” In the alternative scene, the lead prolapses his rectum in a hotel bathroom the night before a wedding due to a fecal impaction and gets treated at the hospital and discharged with a temporary colostomy bag. So, the lead actually shows up at the wedding the next day with his “shit in a bag” and incorporates it into his redemption speech where he basically explains that he became less of an asshole by losing his asshole. And, Darko actually had a pretty sharp comedy writer who re-wrote the post speech scene among the lead, the groom, and a friend. In this version, the lead was describing how he “lost his asshole” shitting; and a Christian attendee corrects him by saying: “I believe rectum is the proper term.” So, there is a black serving guy right near by and he says in a deep southern accident: “Reck-tum, saar, it darn near kilt him.” And then the three friends laugh. I thought it was a great way to end the movie.
Part III
Well, again, the writer had a very specific vision and insisted that we shoot it in kind of Farrelly brothers fashion with the standard diarrhea scene. It came out ok, but I had a hard time shooting it after I had already seen what I felt was the the better “rectum” scene. It was very difficult to really create something that was different from the audience’s expectation, and I thought that the Farrelly’s version would be difficult to get out of the audience’s mind.
When Gosse was asked whether he would direct in a project where he did not also have some input into writing, he said: ”it’s tough on an indie, you have a low budget so you can’t have 4 or 5 competing visions going on, it definitely affects the quality of the scenes.”
Gosse refused to give any details about his new production except to say that it was refreshing to work with established professionals that had extensive experience in the indie business. “Things are tough for the Indie profession right now. We need to get it right first and quickly with the new budgets. It’s tough.”
Karma is karma. As Tucker has used intimidation tactics, so they will be used against him and his associates. For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. I can't blame the reaction, it's only doing what the universe has designed it to do.
If Tucker walked down the street randomly punching people in the head, eventually someone is going to punch him back. Would that be so unexpected? The verbal mockery that goes on here is no different. Tucker's made his living off his verbal disrespect of others, and it's come back to him a dozen times over through this blog and the IMDB site.
Tucker has chosen the method and manner that others will treat him (as has Dawes). TDG is just the messenger that karma is being fulfilled.
hello carrot creative,
i think carrot creative fucked themselves by working with tucker max's hijinx.
look at this douche on the couch:
Touting more executive experience than Obama & McCain, Robert Gaafar believes in speaking softly and carrying a big mouse to correct user experience problems. He can usually be found doing work to Mozart while wearing his classic Air Jordans.
i've never seen a bigger bunch of douchebags with a 1999 web design sense.
richard kelly or nils parker wrote, "i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much.
would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?
one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are."
richard kelly does not like it when you fight fire with fire.
in richard kelly's world of epic hollywood fail, mocking/fighting evil is bad, bad, bad.
carrot cretaive will do anything for money, kinda like a...
richard kelly or nils parker wrote, "i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me... and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much."
--somebody on tucker's payroll prob. wrote this!
probably one of the whiteboy douchebags at carrot creative
it's ok for tucker/nils/daws to bully, but it's not ok to stand up to them.
TDG Deconstructs his Deconstructions:
In this episode: Aw fuck, this is confusing as fuck.
"i like TDG and all, but taking two built black males to a movie "premiere" to act confrontational and intimidating seems a bit much to me."
Where did we act "confrontational" and/or "intimidating"? Confrontational would have been to grab the mic out of Bill's hands and call Tucker Max out to a fight in front of his 250 or so fans.
".. and threatening to knock someones teeth out, repeatedly calling them a cracker seems to reinforce the stereotype they apparently dislike so much."
That was the point. Bill Dawes says black people act a certain way, so we have 2 guys who are going to take those stereotypes to the hilt, despite the fact that they're both school teachers.
Nobody threatened anybody, it was a joke. I found it hysterical because Bill wasn't sure they were joking. If there were punches to be thrown then I'm pretty positive it wouldn't be announced.
"would it have been hard to just use logic, reason, and wit to destroy dawes?"
Oh yeah, that would have totally worked with Bill Dawes, what was I thinking?
"one of the reasons i don't like tucker max is because he's a bully, and honestly your friends everette and troy seem just as worthless. or at least their methods of dealing with people socially are."
Dude, obviously you didn't understand it. This is not how they deal with people in social situations. This is how they deal with douchebags. Racists usually are scared of the people they decry, so why not use that fear against them?
2nd: We were 3 guys at a movie screening of a douchebag. We were completely outnumbered both inside and out. By definition we could not have been "bullys". Instead of doing it behind a message board post, we went and said it to his face. Confrontational? Sure. Bullying? Absolutely not.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Agreed
This is like when Tucker brought his two army buddies to that party and starting making fun of people because he knew he had backup."
I'm sorry, where did we pick on a weaker group of kids like Tucker did? Where did we make fun of anybody who wasn't completely deserving? Everette asked him questions to see if he could reinforce his brand of racist comedy, and he didn't ever raise his voice to do it.
"It's cowardly."
I think you need to look up the word "coward", because I doubt it will be anything resembling a group of 3 guys walking into a movie premiere filled with fanatics and making fun of one of the guys in charge TO HIS FACE.
"You talk a mean game online, but you can't back it up in real life without bodyguards. I'm disappointed TDG"
Yep, I sure do talk a mean game online, I have said repeatedly that I wanted to punch Tucker in the face, yet I did not. Why? Because I have something called RESPONSIBILITIES. I have a job that I go to every single day and would be hard pressed to explain to my bosses why I got arrested on an assault charge the night before teaching grade school children how to speak without an impediment. Sorry, call me what you want, but that's the reality of the situation. I'm not in college anymore and as much as Tucker deserves a fist to the face, it most likely won't be mine.
However, I did not go there with "bodyguards" to assault Tucker. I went to see a movie so I can give an honest assessment instead of just speculating. I went there with people I work(ed) with because those are my friends, not people to protect me. The fact that they thought what they saw was "racist" was only part of the equation, albeit the part that you're reading about.
Get a dictionary.
-TDG
Don't let this get lost among the trolling:
"Gosse told us that they actually shot two versions of the “shit scene” over the objections of the writer. “We had to ban him from the set for a week.” In the alternative scene, the lead prolapses his rectum in a hotel bathroom the night before a wedding due to a fecal impaction and gets treated at the hospital and discharged with a temporary colostomy bag. So, the lead actually shows up at the wedding the next day with his “shit in a bag” and incorporates it into his redemption speech where he basically explains that he became less of an asshole by losing his asshole. And, Darko actually had a pretty sharp comedy writer who re-wrote the post speech scene among the lead, the groom, and a friend. In this version, the lead was describing how he “lost his asshole” shitting; and a Christian attendee corrects him by saying: “I believe rectum is the proper term.” So, there is a black serving guy right near by and he says in a deep southern accident: “Reck-tum, saar, it darn near kilt him.” And then the three friends laugh. I thought it was a great way to end the movie."
This is priceless
TDG,
I thought the story was focking funny as hell. Keep up the good work mate.
The British Guy
No doubt TDG
"cowardly" would be something like picking out individual people and putting them in a spot where they can't fight back. Perhaps like Tucker's "Q&A" sessions where he can make fun of people with no chance of them to hit back.
This was totally ninja TDG, and it's why I read and support your art.
Oh shit, a baby just died of AIDS.
carrot creative has now boarded the failbus, driven by richard kelly.
"carrot creative has now boarded the failbus, driven by richard kelly."
well that seemed to shut carrot creative up.
check out the face of fail:
carrot creative . com
TDG, I thought what you did was completely appropriate and awesome. Props to you, man- looking forward to the epilogue.
Lookin' forward to the conclusion TDG, Dawes needs taking down a peg or two.
That 'red band' trailer is a fucking abortion by they way; just imagine the green band with a few swear words dubbed over it.
the redband trailer is
epic. carrot. creative. fail.
these are the douchebags now spamming this blog:
http://carrotcreative.com/#
kaitlin villanova is a veritable butter face.
click on about/staff.
and check out the legs-spread crotch shot from robert gaafar. this is the picture that likely enticed tucker to wrok with carrot creative.
richard kelly and carrot creative are a match made in heaven.
lol!
robert gaafar puts the douche in douchebag and the epic in "epic fail."
robert gaafar won't gofar in hollywood.
zing!
carrot creative -- guaranteed buttsex hijinx from butterfaces & douchebags, or your money back.
"when your best douche just isn't douchey/racist/sexist enough." --carrot creative
i bet carrot creative's all-white douchebags and butterfaces came of with these signs of hate:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/
"Tucker Max’s message board has launched a Photoshop competition for the best reimagined protest signs from the “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” protests. Creative Max devotees are working off images from the film tour’s photostream in order to ridicule students from the NC State women’s center, which staged a Raleigh protest of the film. Predictably, the submissions are sexist (above). Since this is a contest to ridicule people who care about rape, sexism is to be expected. So why are the submissions so racist?"
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/
indeed--robert gaafar won't gofar in hollywood.
kaitlin villanova seems a nice, young girl. why is she killng her future by associating/working for richard kelly?
at any moment they could stop this.
they could call it out and walk away.
but money is a funny thing.
robert gaafar won't gofar in hollywood & neither will kaitlin failanova/villanova/villadouchea.
there's more to life than coming up with mean signs and spammning out blog.
www.tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Come on over. No spamming, and no trolling.
"www.tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Come on over. No spamming, and no trolling. all 100% approved and vetted by richard kelly." --richard kelly
robert gaafar won't gofar in hollywood & neither will kaitlin failanova/villanova/villadouchea.
haaaaahahaaa
i posted the original comment on TDG's tactics which i referred to as bullying. i can see it didn't take long for a few to assume i'm richard kelly (hey mccoy), or involved with the ihtsbih crew. well, i'm not, but you're open to your delusions i guess.
in any case, i'm glad TDG was able to clarify his "date with bill dawes." i think the way you wrote it gave out a misconception on how it went down.
^^^if you're not richard kelly (hahaahaha), then why do you care so much about protecting his destined-to-fail investment?
KTATguy, YHBHFY
9/10/2009 3:54 PM
Ah well I know, but thats because I'm the saddest sad sack. Which has been fully established previously. All the rest of you, on the other hand, like everyone else on the internet, you went to an Ivy League school. You make tons of cash, drive an awesome car, and you have a hot girlfriend. Oh and you are a brutal fighter who can whoop anyones ass. I'm just trying to get you back to all that greatness because its disturbing that you, of all people, are still here after YEARS.
TAT
KTAT
Some of you have been here for YEARS.
SOYHBHFY
eh, i just want to point out:
"Where did we act "confrontational" and/or "intimidating"? Confrontational would have been to grab the mic out of Bill's hands and call Tucker Max out to a fight in front of his 250 or so fans."
"Instead of doing it behind a message board post, we went and said it to his face. Confrontational? Sure. Bullying? Absolutely not."
^^^^ quality carrot creative research supporting tucker's douchebaggery!
richard kelly will wire you more cash tomorrow!
Dude, TDG, your the man
I cant even put into words how much I love your posts up here.
Whoever said "that was ninja" is totally right. hahahaha
Ninja destructionist, TDG
That bullying point about how tucker bullies his fans is so true.
I really have no problem with the way TDG handled the situation. He turned the tables on Dawes, that's about it. It's funny how Dawes reacted because when the glitz of his minstel show (whoever started calling the premieres a minstel show should get props), Dawes is just another douchebag.
the premieres/dawes minstrel shows are a $12,000,000 vanity project funded by epic hollywood fail richard kelly.
game over.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minstrel_show
tucker's midgets + dawes' minstrel show = epic richard kelly fail
tucker's midgets + dawes' minstrel show + nils (world's fattest man) = epic richard kelly traveling circus fail
I'm pregnant, TDG
Can't believe I'm defending Tucker, but if Bob Gosse actually thought his ending with the prolapsed asshole is better, he is a fucking retard.
But Tucker getting banned from the set is priceless.
"I am a great book writer, great screenplay writer, and great filmmaker, and I will put my aesthetic in those areas up against anyone." -Tucker Max
Well... I guess Tucker HAS to say that, since nobody else is.
Yea, because a guy with a LAW DEGREE would assault someone for talking shit to him, right. Fucking Morons
Why is there no record of Tucker Max actually getting his JD from Duke?
He didn't take/pass the bar and it looks like he didn't graduate either.
Don't believe me, I'm a Duke law student and looked him up on the Duke Alumni Directory. To be part of this directory you need to have GRADUATED.
His name is not on the directory list. Why? If he GRADUATED he would be on this list.
http://www.law.duke.edu/apps/alumnidir2/searchform
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh. Snap.
Somebody please call them to verify. It would be hysterical if this is true and he got caught in another lie (this one HUGE).
They are now putting up links to pre-purchase opening weekend tickets because they won't expand without high PTA.
^^^^ not only that
THEY ARE GIVING TICKETS AWAY!!
by letstalk26 2 hours ago (Wed Sep 16 2009 17:21:31)
Ignore this User | Report Abuse Reply
35 free admit-two movie passes to an advance screening of "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" based on a true story and the best-selling book by Tucker Max! The film stars Matt Czuchry (as Tucker Max), Geoff Stults and Jesse Bradford. The link is below.
http://www.hollywoodchicago.com/news/8663/hollywoodchicagocom-hookup-3 5-passes-i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-chicago-screening
it might not be part of the tour, but it's part of the epic fail.
haha ha ah ha ha ahahah !
this might be a really dumb question, but why not sell the tickets?
are you trying to "fill" theaters so that you get better distribution?
hahahahaha haha!
don't you think distributors have seen enough richard kelly hijnks to see through this?
tucker's midgets + dawes' minstrel show + nils (world's fattest man) = epic richard kelly traveling circus fail
haha ha ha ha ahaha
epic richard kelly hijinx!!
buying up all the tickets with the investor's money to fool distributors!!
haha ha aha ha!
from Greg Clark’s “A Farewell to Alms“, page 74, about pre-industrial mating habits in Northwestern Europe:
1. The average age of first marriage for women was late – 24-26.
2. 10-25% of women never married.
3. Ilegitimacy was low – 3-4% of births.
tucker's wrong
For whatever it's worth, I don't mean to jump on TDG here and I do understand what the idea and motivation was ... but I really can't say I like that. Walking up to the guy, saying "You're a jerk, and here's your payback" and slugging him once would've been more honest.
I do understand the work repercussions issue. The path taken just seems dishonestly slimy. Tuckerish, as others noted.
Anyway.
For old times' sake
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
YAY! mr mcbeefjerks is back! now let's all go back to talking about tucker's cock.
tucker's midgets + dawes' minstrel show + nils (world's fattest man) = epic richard kelly traveling circus fail
haha ha ha ha ahaha
epic richard kelly hijinx!!
buying up all the tickets with the investor's money to fool distributors!!
haha ha aha ha!
So I just wanna say that if you're going to make a movie about poop jokes, ending it with "rectum saar, it nearly kilt im" is much much much funnier than anything Tucker ever wrote. And the ending as described actually DOES provide some character growth. and creates an actual point to the movie.
I'm not surprised Tucker vetoed it. Silly ninny.
You're only on the Duke alumni listing if you opt to do so geninus-idiots.
It's called privacy protection laws and they are quite specific for education and information regarding student history.
I went to po-dunk stupid state school and even I know this much... dumbasses.
-hater who hates haterz now that tucker fails too hard to hate
gd those fuckers on the board suck at photoshop
also, tucker's argument that he loves and respects women and doesn't promote a rape culture sure is substantiated by the existence of a thread full of racist, sexist, anti-women, hate and vitriolic bullshit
One more week guys! Keep it going strong, we're almost there!!
"yeah--that's not gonna happen"--straight from the hangover trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhFVZsk3XEs
$25,000,000 opening? private jet? beat hangover? when will tucker admit that it ain't gonna happen?
he said "anything hangover does we can beat. easily."
he promised a $25,000,000 opening weekend. the opening weekend won't even cover the cost of the epic fail, money-losing, vanity press bus tour.
he keeps talking about a private jet.
how are one or two slutty girls and a bunch of douchebag fanboys gonna buy him a private jet, let alone a minivan?
caption contest!!
http://kykernel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/apw20090910450.jpg
"i am the federal reserve! i have come to destroy marriage via the feminist movement and put my semen into coeds who throw themselves at me on my fiat-funded bus with logan painted on the side! soon the world will evolve to have no soul, tiny hands, lumpy arms with soars on them, and double chins! all my fiat children will have receding hairlines and bug eyes! and then shall richard kelly win an oscar, via fiat!"
"i'm no accountant, but i would estimate that donnie darko and richard kelly are directing 90% of the $12,000,000 in a campaign against mccoymountain.
they would have been wiser to hire a real director/script writers/actors, but whatyagonnado?"
that makes sense as their primary goal is to protect the fed. that's why they have to hate on mccoymountain, vince vuaghan, and arlo guthrie.
So, this blog/board got named checked in the LA Times article on Tugger. I imagine it will be even more flooded with trolls in order to obscure the board with noise. Otherwise little factoids might contradict some of the errata in the article; such as the oft repeated - and never true - claim of one million books sold.
^^^ thats why we need to go use the other board. makes sense as long as they keep it modorated.
this is the result of the carrot creative "social web" publicity:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/threads/
"carrot creative--when richard kelly's epic hollywood fail just isn't enough."
richard kelly hijinx rox!!!!
the latimes finally covers the richard kelly hijinx!!
that's awesome our blog got a mention, while little richard kelly sits in the corner coming up with his next money-losing hijinx fart art/filmsuck scheme to rip off investors of millions.
you see, the truth in this blog is so much more entertaining that richard kelly's c- film-school hijinx projects.
Wow, you guys are picking on Carrot Creative, and specific employees therein? Trust me, no one hates Tucker more than I, but you're really scraping the bottom of the hate barrel on that one. Weak, lame, and really fucking mean to innocent bystanders. Grow up.
"Wow, you guys are picking on Carrot Creative, and specific employees therein? Trust me, no one hates Tucker more than I, but you're really scraping the bottom of the hate barrel on that one. Weak, lame, and really fucking mean to innocent bystanders. Grow up." --carrot creative
how are they innocent? they accepted tucker's money to promote his truths of "heart disease being the best thing about fat girls."
did they not have a choice?
suppose someone accpets money to beat someone up, and they beat the person up, and tyake the money.
can they tell the cops that they were an innocent bystander?
hey carrot creative--what do you think about tucker being mean to innocent bystanders?
is this what the carrot creative brand is all about?
Max’s video minion ridicules both Vietnamese & African-American women"
--http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
"Max has the power to gather all the local sexist douchebags into one c"
More awesome reviews! Private Jet and $25,000,000 opening weekend and beating hangover to follow!
"Tucker Max, professional sexist, swung through College Park, Md., and Washington, D.C., last month to help promote his new movie, “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.” Tucker Max events, you may be surprised to learn, can actually prove helpful to us feminists. Max has the power to gather all the local sexist douchebags into one convenient location for an evening, and that makes those people a lot easier to identify (and mock). But if you didn’t have the heart to trudge out and ridicule the hordes of Tucker Max fans in person, it’s not too late to get in on the fun. Max has graciously provided anecdotal and recorded evidence of the tour’s douchiest attendees for us! See if you can spot any douches from your workplace, biology class, or overpriced Georgetown lounge:"
--http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
"Over at the Washington, D.C., premier, Max’s video minion ridicules both Vietnamese and African-American women, the former for being employed as a pedicurist, and the latter for having a name he finds funny. He also exposes several douchebags gathered outside the premier who can recite obscure details of Tucker Max’s sexcapades, but are unable to name the second and third presidents of the United States. Max’s douchey law-school buddies get in on the fun, but they ask Max not to repeat any of the *beep* they said, because they are douchey guys who went to law school. Also featured: An awkward night-vision shot of a theater full of douchebags writhing with glee when Tucker Max makes a joke about exterminating fat chicks, or whatever the *beep* that guy does for a living." --http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/10/spot-your-local-tucker-max-douchebag/
richard kelly aka darko doucho aka epic hollywood fail funded this for publicity on tucker's movie site:
"The best thing about fat girls is heart disease."
do you tucker fanboys agree with richard kelly's financing of this?
do such statements make you giggle? do you giggle and giggle when you read richard kelly financed art?
carrot creative--do you laugh at rape statistics?
are you all tucker fanboys?
or do you only act that way because ou are paid. woudln't that make you whores?
do you giggle at rape statistics carrot creative?
"The last line of this article about the N.C. State protest gives me chills. "The filmgoers were shown a slideshow of rape and sexual violence stats inside the theater on the screen before the [Tucker Max] movie started, which drew sharp laughs and boos from the audience."
--http://www.collegepulse.net/2009/08/nc-state-students-protest-tucker-max.html
or do you only laugh at asians, racist comments, overweight girls, and innocent bystanders? what do you have against asians and overweight girls and minorities?
is that why you don't use your real name?
what if your boss found out about how you rejoice in/support/laugh at secretive tapings of anal sex without the girl's consent. wouldn't that be awesome?
crash, as a loyal fanboy, do you believe tucker when hes says, "we are projecting at a 25 million dollar opening weekend." --tucker max
ha ah aha ah aha haaha haa!
from: https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?postID=117436504077523328&blogID=21127102&isPopup=false&page=51
"The Deconstruction Guy said...
The operative part of the sentence is as follows:
"We are projecting at a 25 million dollar opening weekend."
The popping the champagne cork was to be based on the opening numbers. However, he clarifies this by saying "WE ARE projecting at a 25 million blah blah".
So basically he's saying he forsees the film making 25 million dollars.
Hence: douchebag"
"Tucker, in your retouched retellings of the supposed witticisms happening during the Q&A...where is the funny?
In your desperate attempts to stir up controversy during this tour and make your at-least-partially-made-up exploits appear to be interesting, where is the positive buzz?
Tucker, we may all be in the gutter (as Oscar Wilde wrote), but some of us are permanently face down in a fetal position, *beep* on our own dicks.
~FDG"
Tucker fanboys--how is tucker going to make 25 million in the opening weekend while playing in a small amount of theaters with "freestyle" distributing it?
what's the last freestyle project to bring in a 25 million weekend?
what's the last darko project to bring in a 25 million weekend?
carrot creative -- as a fanboy, would you laugh at rape statistics like other tucker fanboys?
hey carrot creative,
do you agree with the way that tucker harasses innocent bystanders for fun and profit?
do you agree with using fake emails to promote your clients?
is this the carrot cretaive brand?
please do share!
"The lack of traditional plugs forced Max to promote his web site and book via the internet. He would create fake e-mail accounts and then bombard entertainment sites and news aggregators with links to his material."
--http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/11/tucker_max_sxsw/
"Tucker Max, the smug scribe of the bestseller "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," was jeered tonight at a screening of the about-to-be-released movie based on his book. For those of you who haven't read it, "Beer" is all about the author's exploits with women, drinking, and being a jerk. (Max is played in the film by Manchester, N.H.-born actor Matthew Charles Czuchry.) At previous stops on his publicity tour, potesters have gathered to gripe about Max and his treatment of women. It was no different outside the AMC Harvard Square tonight, where Max's critics carried signs questioning his taste, integrity, and judgement."
--from http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/more_names/blog/2009/09/tucker_max_the_smug_scribe.html
[To the fat guy with greasy hair in the camo vest] "Look out everyone! It's the Pillsbury Commando! Hey Chunk, when was the last time you washed your hair? Does it give you more hit points to have that grease helmet? I hate to break the news, but +5 defense only counts in Dungeons and Dragons."
[To the ugly Asian girl] "Why you no rike me? You want me frip over? You no piss me off! ME FIND YOU IN POCKING ROT!! YOU NO TAKE MING ARIVE!!"
[To the small frail dork--I notice he has a lazy eye] "Dude--Look at me when I'm talking to you--BOTH EYES AT ONCE. Are you really this ugly or are you just playing? EVERYONE, BE CAREFUL, THIS GUY LURKS UNDER THE STAIRS AND TRIES TO LICK YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU PASS BY!"
[To the original fatty, pause for effect] "Why do you do this to yourself? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF? Look, I'm gonna give you some advice-leave the party, take the geek squad with you, go to Denny's, order about 10 Grand Slam Breakfasts, and eat your pain away. Won't be the first time will it?"
11:19: I am finished. The kitchen is quiet, except for Eddie and Rich laughing. The four freaks are completely speechless. Everyone is staring at me. I blurt out, "WHAT? I'm pretty sure it's what Jesus would've done." Eddie and Rich promptly remove me from the kitchen.
from --http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml
is this the carrot creative ethos?
carrot creative probably shouldn't have never hitched their wagon to tucker max's failbus.
i can't imagine how being associated with tucker's douchebaggery is going to help them land any clients, especially in hollywood, where richard kelly's hijinx is a veritable black hole for investors.
truths such as "midgets of shallow vaginas" are now forever associated with the carrot creative brand along with the epic fail of film and "the best thing about fat girls is heart disease."
ooops. the company's prospect for future success is now the same as bob gosse's.
i picture richard kelly and carrot cretaive all reading this, and i laugh.
ha ah aha ha aha ha ahha aha ahah!
ha aha ha ahahahah!
ha ha aha ah ahahahahhahah ahhaha!
artless, characterless, talentless douchebags all! when tucker's failbus runs out of gas .....
www.tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Where spamming and trolling are prohibited.
www.tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Where spamming and trolling are prohibited, and all posts are approved by richard kelly and carrot creative, resulting in hijinx for all ages!
how are they innocent? they accepted tucker's money to promote his truths of "heart disease being the best thing about fat girls."
did they not have a choice?
suppose someone accpets money to beat someone up, and they beat the person up, and tyake the money.
can they tell the cops that they were an innocent bystander?"
Are you 12?
People accept money for advertising from McDonald's (who destroy the environment), Nike (who exploit workers), and any number of far more insidious companies/individuals. Go rake them over the coals for something worthwhile. You don't even know if Katie Whoever even WORKED on this project. This is so beyond stupid, I can't even go on.
"People accept money for advertising from McDonald's (who destroy the environment), Nike (who exploit workers), and any number of far more insidious companies/individuals. Go rake them over the coals for something worthwhile. You don't even know if Katie Whoever even WORKED on this project. This is so beyond stupid, I can't even go on."
You're right.
Carrot creative needs to post a list of everyone and anyone who profited from funds wired from Richard Kelly/Tucker Max in any way, shape, or form.
Do you have a contact there?
And Bob Gosse? WTF are you people talking about? Some of us are just trying to make a fucking living, and haven't spent every waking moment researching Tucker like you have. Again, grow up.
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
"Carrot creative needs to post a list of everyone and anyone who profited from funds wired from Richard Kelly/Tucker Max in any way, shape, or form.
Do you have a contact there?"
Why should they? They publish a select client list on their website, which, unlike your life, is not entirely centered on Tucker. Take a step back and a deep breath. It's called perspective.
As of right now, you might be the only person who loves Tucker more than Tucker.
as a carrot creative employee, how come you're not standing up for these women:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/
why do you still choose to work with tucker even after these appear on his site?
what's wrong with carrot creative?
"And Bob Gosse? WTF are you people talking about? Some of us are just trying to make a fucking living, and haven't spent every waking moment researching Tucker like you have. Again, grow up." hey there carrot creative!
as a carrot creative employee, how come you're not standing up for these women:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/
why do you still choose to work with tucker even after these appear on his site?
what's wrong with carrot creative?
too busy making a living?
and how's that working out for you?
are more hollywood clients beating down your door after your epic failbus tour?
"carrot creative: when richard kelly's hijinx just isn't enough, and you really need the douchetap turned on full."
OK, I'm going to just assume that you are in no way, shape, size, or form involved with a single company that does anything wrong, ever.
Please tell us all how you managed that. I think we'd all like to eek out a living completely innocently.
haha aha ha ah!
carrot creative is trying to spam this blog out of existence!
"And Bob Gosse? WTF are you people talking about? Some of us are just trying to make a fucking living, and haven't spent every waking moment researching Tucker like you have. Again, grow up." hey there carrot creative!
as a carrot creative employee, how come you're not standing up for these women:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/09/15/tucker-max-fans-fight-rape-with-racism/
why do you still choose to work with tucker even after these appear on his site?
what's wrong with carrot creative?
too busy making a living?
and how's that working out for you?
are more hollywood clients beating down your door after your epic failbus tour?
"carrot creative: when richard kelly's hijinx just isn't enough, and you really need the douchetap turned on full."
FTR-- I don't work for Carrot Creative, but in looking up info to respond here, they do seem to be picking up noteworthy clients just fine.
You know you're mentally ill, right?
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
ERIN LEIGH TYLER IS A FILTHY CUNT WHORE!!!!!!!!!
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yeah, that's normal.
TDG, I'm pregnant
carrot creative is to pr what tucker is to art and richard kelly is to film.
epic hijinx fail.
tucker's midgets + dawes' minstrel show + nils (world's fattest man) + tucker's/carrot creative's "the best thing about fat women/girls/chicks is heart disease" = epic richard kelly traveling circus fail
haha ha ha ha ahaha
epic richard kelly hijinx!!
buying up all the tickets with the investor's money to fool distributors!!
haha ha aha ha!
how perfectly "carrot" creative!!
www.tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Come on, guys. It's time to take this to a place where there's no spamming.
is carrot creative behind this? congrats! you're all innocent bystanders!!
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/cta.ads.women.2.1190470.html
Critics: Movie Ads Glorify Attacks On Women
Ads For Movie 'I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell' Have Been Appearing On CTA BusesCHICAGO (CBS) ― Click to enlarge1 of 1
Some Chicagoans are furious about these ads for the Tucker Max biopic "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," which have been appearing on CTA buses.
John Dodge/CBS
Close
numSlides of totalImages Related Slideshows Hollywood's Hottest New Starlets Top 10 Smartest And Dumbest Dog Breeds Real Or Fake? Hottest Female Athletes The Tattooed Ladies of Hollywood A CTA bus ad campaign for the new movie "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" is infuriating some Chicagoans who say it makes light of sexual assault.
The movie, set for release on Sept. 25, is a biopic on the life of Tucker Max, who became notorious in the early 2000s for chronicling his sexual escapades, set partly in Chicago, and post-college party lifestyle.
Max and the movie have already drawn controversy and protests around the country.
In Chicago, it is the advertising campaign for the film that is drawing ire. It features billboard-style ads that have been appearing on the sides of CTA buses, with the slogans, "Deaf Girls Can't Hear You Coming" and "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect (Just Kidding!)"
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/cta.ads.women.2.1190470.html
GOOD TROLLING MCCOY YOU FUCKING IGNORAMOUS
i love how the mainstream media is starting to call tucker a douchebag. you know it's because of this blog. it must kill tucker. p.s. i did some research and in a recent interview with tucker, he names some of the influential bloggers/writers in his life http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-mendelson/everything-i-learned-abou_b_286248.html
so what did i do, as a high quality and loyal doucebag? i looked at the wikipedia history of all those authors, and i looked at tucker's history, and i found a commonality: Svernon19. clearly that is Tucker or ryan holiday. what are the odds that svernon19 would have edited seth godin, tucker max (hundreds of times),Seth roberts, and other authors tucker mentioned just today in an interview. he also edited mark ebner, an author and rudius blogger.
Svernon19=tucker max or ryan holiday = douchebag.
which one of you richard kelly fanboys/carrot creative fangirls wants to defend this?
this is your chance for fame and eternity!! step up carrot creative douchebags and richard kelly fanboys!! step up to join tucker in his epic, douchebag fail!
Tucker Max ads appalling: Critics: Movie Ads Glorify Attacks on Women
http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/2009/09/cta-rider-tucker-max-ads-appalling.html
"I was appalled today at an ad on the side of a CTA bus: 'Strippers will not tolerate disrespect...HAHA, just kidding!' The ad is for the new Tucker Max movie, a film that glorifies the mistreatment and sexual exploitation of women.
I am outraged that this foul message is being endorsed and publicized by my city. It is not funny -- it is abusive, and it must be removed from the buses. CTA authorities should be ashamed.""
--http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/2009/09/cta-rider-tucker-max-ads-appalling.html
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/cta.ads.women.2.1190470.html
Clearly, [the ad about deaf girls] makes light of attacks on women (no less disabled women), and I cannot believe that's something considered appropriate messaging on the side of city property," Jessie Barth of Chicago wrote in an e-mail to CBS 2.
The ad has also caught the attention of Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn, who wasn't sure what it was promoting when he first saw it.
"It reads like a helpful hint in a predator's handbook and strikes me as being in very bad taste," Zorn wrote in his "Change of Subject" blog.
Tucker Max ads appalling: Critics: Movie Ads Glorify Attacks on Women
http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/cta.ads.women.2.1190470.html
which one of you richard kelly fanboys wants to defend this?
carrot creative is to pr what tucker is to art and richard kelly is to film.
epic hijinx fail.
carrot creative might as well close up their office and go on home in tucker's bus.
what's the name of the butterface fattie chick who works for you know who?
haha aha aha ah
this blog got more positive press in the la times today than richard kelly in the past ten years for all his hijinx fail.
haha aha ha ahah.
bite down on that carrot, carrot creative--the douchebags of pr/hijinx.
HI I AM BIFF
I AM BOARD
SUM1 POST SUMTHING FUNNY ABOUT TUCKER PLZ
ALSOTELL ME WHO TUCKER IS, I DONT KNOW!!!!
IS TUCKER AND KELLY THE SAME PERSON EVEN THOUGH KELLY IS A GIRLS NAME??
- BIFF!!!
This might be the funniest thing ever: Read the comments section below the review:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/user/741786/reviews/view.php?type=2&id=1213825
Yeah,
Tucker is not listed under Duke Law Alumni. Double checked it and he's not listed as alumni on their own database.
-TODG The other Duke Guy
I just saw the article in the LA Times where this blog is mentioned - http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-tucker20-2009sep20,0,1269489.story
I started this blog in early 2006 after I read the b.s. reviews of Tucker Max's book on amazon.com. I was never a fan or Tucker although I did visit his website and read his stories several years ago. I never believed any of his stories and always thought that he was a blowhard and was completely full of shit.
I felt obligated to create this blog because a few years ago there was no other medium on the Internet for disputing the veracity of Tucker's stories. Tucker and his minions were somehow getting negative reviews of his books deleted from Amazon.com and were closely controlling the content added to Tucker's wikipedia website and written on his own forums.
I never thought that this blog would ever become so popular, but I am glad to see that it has served its purpose and people have obviously taken notice.
yes cockly mcbeefwell,
this blog is the true story.
it is unprecedented.
the little nyt fanboy reporter should be fired, as he forgot to mention it. i am emailing this and the la times article to his boss.
i bet he is out of work by monday.
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