The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,918 comments:
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Come on SGM, share with us, we've been good boys and girls
offoptic:
I was searching amazon and noticed the 20th anniversary edition of the book "Hatchet." It was published in 2007. Tucker Math!
The 8/19 screening in Atlanta starts in an hour an a half from now.
It was awesome. Nobody knows how to party like people in Atlanta.
Everyone loved the screening. Laughing. Standing ovation.
Nils killed in the Q&A
It was awesome and it hasn't even happened yet. But that's how it works in Tuckerland, a place where everything is awesome no matter what reality says.
I just looked up the trailer on youtube....HOLY SHIT there are so many negative comments (aside from the idiots that post "this book is my bible" while that same person is also subscribed to the High School Musical 3 channel....lulz).
It's good to see those comments can't be removed.
At the bar afterwards, everyone was really cool. Except for one dickwad, a fat fuck wearing a camo vest.
Me: Hey pillsbury commando, why don't you and the loser brigade march on over to krispy kreme donuts and drown your sorrows in a vat of glaze.
Then I realized it was Nils. He seemed kind of mad about it, so I let him have sloppy seconds on a banging-hot quadriplegic chick. She had one of those awesome wheelchairs that you move by breathing in a tube. Ryan Holiday was doing wheelies with it in the parking lot and shit, true story. Fucking Tando decided to play chicken with him, so it ended up getting run over by the tour bus. Fuck her if she can't take a joke.
I'm at the ATL premiere. it's awesome. ?You haterz just don't get this revolutationary shit.
Realtime results for "tucker max"
0 more result since you started searching. Refresh to see them.
1. blcart2
Not much for live blogs, but looking forward to Tucker Max on Kentucky Sports Radio tomorrow.
40 minutes ago from web
2. @TuckerMax I, John Dixon Vaughan, III met Tucker Max tonight. Amazing movie, great guy, good friends. Great night. #NotFeelingHomework
about 1 hour ago from web
3. karaalt @funkycoldmedema
whoooaaaa what is tucker max doing with that hilar book of his???
about 1 hour ago from web
4. wei_yang
There's going to be a Tucker Max movie? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh facepalm about
2 hours ago from Tweetie
5. SteveKamb
Just got back from the Tucker Max film: funny movie, loved the @tferriss cameo. Tucker's a genuine dude - a premiere done right. #IHTSBIH
about 2 hours ago from TweetDeck
6. iluvsmooches
Check out the trailer for Tucker Max's movie, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, opens Sept 25th: http://bit.ly/WcoLK
about 2 hours ago from web
7.thebubbreport
Ah re: chick in Tucker Max movie - nevermind. It was Veronica Mars - Keri Lynn Pratt.
jimi_hoffa
Tucker Max premiere. It's hot outside and full of skanks and douche bags.
about 6 hours ago from TweetDeck
Tweet - deconstructed
"oopswrongnumber
Just found a Hasil Adkins record. Listening "Chicken Walk". Boyfriend broke up with me over meeting Tucker Max in Seattle. Interesting week. about
7 hours ago from txt"
==========================
"My boyfriend broke up with me when he saw a photo of me plopped on concrete on Tucker's site alongside a story about me trying to fuck him all night."
In our language....
JamMastah @koutsky
i just looked thru their flickr & they don't have our pic with tucker max from the IHTSBIH premier! what a douche
about 8 hours ago from web
filthysize
Is it journalistically ethical to request an interview with Tucker Max just so I can punch him in the balls?
about 23 hours ago from TwitterFox
holy Jesus, the bus is real
http://www.stumbleupon.com/s/#8ohwMu/www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3837750612//
cmalone
Just went to a prescreening of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Laugh aloud funny and NOT douchey, though TM did a Q&A and yes he is a douche
about 2 hours ago from Tweetie
JennLebowski
Just saw the Atlanta premiere of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and it's fucking hilarious.
about 2 hours ago from TwitterBerry
Mintz
just got done watching I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. It's a much better movie than the trailer would lead you to believe.
about 4 hours ago from UberTwitter
Encosia
Just saw a screening of @tuckermax's movie. If you liked the hangover, see this. It was hilarious.
about 1 hour ago from TweetDeck
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(2009)
Overview
User Rating:
(awaiting 5 votes)
MOVIEmeter: ?
Down 39% in popularity this week. See why on IMDbPro.
If any loser with an IP address can liveblog shit from Golden Girls marathons to a crackwhore bust down the street... why can't Tucker et al live blog these premieres?
If they really wanted attention, why do they post so sporadically?
With the voyeuristic nature of today's children, I know MANY who would refresh all night long just to see mobile uploads popping up on the site... along with tweets and quick sound bytes.
What the fuck Tucker?
Ryan Holiday, why post so many Twitter "reviews" when nobody here is going to be swayed by your transparent bullshit?
Or is that you, Tucker? Did you strike out all night when the women in the crowd thought to themselves, "No fucking WAY I am having sex with this douchebag. Yeah, he made a movie, and even though I liked his stories and movie, but he has a lisp and manboobs, and he's like 14 years older than me. I meet more fuckable guys at my job at the Quiznos in the student union every day."
Tucker Max is in the midst of Tucker Max failing.
Jesus Christ, if that is you, Tucker, just do yourself a favor and kill yourself now to spare yourself any more embarrassment.
just saw IHTSBIH. very good movie. up there with titanic and gone with the wind. if you liekd the hangover, definitely see this! -signed, tucker max. i mean, yucker pax...
Below, an illuminating interview with Bob Gosse:
“Hey Bob!”
“Hey! Listen before we start I just want to say thanks for letting me crash at your place. It’ll only be for a few months, just until the box office money from ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell’ starts to trickle down.”
“That’s cool. Anyway let’s get down to discussing the movie. What’s it about?”
“‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’ is a contemporary version of a German fairy tale, based around the tall stories of a lisping goblin-like creature called Tucker Max. In European folklore Max would appear in the hearth dressed in ragged shorts, and regale peasant farmers with outrageous autobiographical yarns that had little, if any, basis in fact. He would also insult any women present. Parents would tell their children: “If you don’t apply yourself, you’ll end up working for Tucker Max for $83 a quarter.””
“Bob, can I stop you there.”
“Wait, just let me finish. The great thing was that Darko Entertainment paid for some guy to come on set and pretend to be Tucker Max. He was such an obnoxious prick that after a couple of days everyone was tired of his shit and I had to ban him from the shoot.”
“I understand that most of the movie’s budget went on special effects.”
“Originally we planned to use CGI for the character of Tucker Max. When we couldn’t get that right we turned to traditional special effects. Tucker’s man boobs and tiny hands were designed by the George Lucas creature workshop. When it came to choosing an actor for the part, Matt Czuchry was the obvious choice, because of his experience of acting in heavy prosthetic make-up when he played Emily Gilmore in The Gilmore Girls.”
“I saw the film a couple of days ago. A lot of the scenes were so dark that I couldn’t tell what was going on. Also there were moments where I couldn’t quite hear all the dialogue.”
“Part of my brief for this film was that the audience should constantly be asking themselves: “Oh my God, did Tucker really just say/do that?” It was clear to me that they weren’t going to get this from the script which was quite poor. I got around the problem by the strategically using bad lighting and poor sound editing to muddy the visuals and the audio. A lot of the time you really can't tell what is going on.”
“Okay, thanks for the interview Bob. Just one more thing: The cleaner will be here at nine tomorrow, so you need to be off the couch before then.”
jared_weinstein Over/under 10%. How much of "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" is actually true. I'm taking under. about 15 hours ago from TwitterFox
My stomach & midnight chinese food have been locked in a struggle to the death for the last 4 hours. The winner: the toilet paper industry.about 20 hours ago from UberTwitter :Nils
Nils' twitter background =... FOOD!
From a recent interview,
"What's your favorite food?"
Nils: "... I ... I just dunno man. There's so much... the question's just TOO HARD..." (dribbles onto chins)
fat cunt
"Ah re: chick in Tucker Max movie - nevermind. It was Veronica Mars - Keri Lynn Pratt."
Yeah, that's not Veronica Mars. They couldn't get someone that big for this movie.
Keri is the girl who plays bit girl roles in various CW series. She's never been a lead.
If you search @Tuckermax on twitter you can see all the people who tweet at him.
He averages about 10-15 a day. Even with this premier. That's pathetic.
Out of 25,000 followers? Yeah, no one cares.
I posted them... A hater.
Just trying to elicit some chatter.
Why would someone give a shit about Twitter reviews? The only people that have seen the movie on the tour are diehard fans who are trying to save their cult leader's ass after the awful trailer. Not objective in the slightest.
No one thought it was objective... if anything, it's demonstrative of the fact that no one cares.
Hell, Hurricane Bill, in the middle of the ocean, bothering NO ONE has like 5-6 tweets a minute.
Just bored and posting, don't hate the hater, it's hate-tastic, remember, no FYB'd here.
Don't taze me bro, please.
Not hating you man, sorry it came off like that. Just adding to the discussion in my own way.
Atlanta's a pretty decent sized city, and still not a single professional review.
The objective was word of mouth, and yet there's no buzz. If anything, this tour is canabalizing what little audience Tucker would have generated in the crucial opening weekend. I think this turkey may not break $1 million in theaters.
"Keri is the girl who plays bit girl roles in various CW series. She's never been a lead."
Thanks, I was wondering WTF was up with that - Veronica Mars seemed like way out of Tucker's league.
in ATL...no coverage by Creative Loafing which pretty much IS Atlanta art culture.
So you're/they're saying Itsby's not art?
Who wants to bet that his entire tour doesn't make more than 100K?
30 cities * 10 bucks a ticket * 100 people per theater = $30K
To beat 100K, he's got to _average_ over 300 people per theater. The odds of that do not seem good.
I would be stunned if it makes anything close to that. $10/ticket * 300 people per show = $3000. Of that, the theater takes a good chunk. The rest is spent on the bus, hotels, McGriddles, advertising if they had any, etc.
(300 might be conservative, but who the fuck really cares.)
Ha, wow, guess I was being too nice.
Oh, and they need to be 300 paying customers, not press and hangers-on who show up hoping for free tickets.
(If it wasn't clear, I wrote 12:02 before seeing 12:00.)
The cost of the bus rental and the SWAG will be more than the box office for this entire tour.
not to mention...every one of his devout fans will see the movie during the tour. which leaves just about no one seeing the movie when it's released in theatres.
If the premier tour is a huge failure, will it even be released in theatres?
Hating has become excessively boring.
^^^ No kidding, you stupid losers. The reason the hating has gotten boring is because the fucking movie is blowing up. Did you not see the exclusive on Entertainment Tonight yesterday? Did you not see the writeup in Variety today? Have you not read the many reviews, or caught a glimpse of all the coverage this bus tour is receiving? The movie is EVERYWHERE right now- people simply cannot stop talking about it. The entire entertainment industry is buzzing, and everyone's talking about it non-stop. THAT'S why the hating has gotten so boring, morons.
It doesn't seem that whomever is backing Tucker at this point (Darko?) is willing to commit to a hard number of theaters. If this tour fails, I think it is entirely possible that IHTSBH goes to DVD, or opens in far less than 400 theaters. The better question is "What is the measurement date?" If theaters require 30 days advanced notice from Freestyle, then Tucker's measurement date will probably be no later than August 25th. That in turn makes me quite curious as to whether these movies are in fact selling out, versus Tucker buying a block of tickets. Though that does seem extreme, one of the rumors floated earlier was that Tucker had one of his lackies purchase blocks of books at one or more of the bookstores that the NY Times uses to compile its bestseller lists.
Tucker's assistant's review of the Portland tour indicated a couple of facts:
1) There were 200 seats
2) He gave away a block of five tickets to a few random dudes (so who knows how many more)
My over/under for theaters on Sept. 25 is 80 and gross that week... $150,000 to the maxxxxx, otto.
Has darko done any advertising other than the myspace trailer and the failbus tour?
At some point Darko must have (or will) realize that this thing is a turd, so why would they throw away more money on a theatrical release?
My theory is they haven't committed much P&A money yet and it will go straight to DVD unless the bang bus generates significant buzz and shows enough demand that a theatrical release would be cost effective.
1:04: 10/10 troll job! well done...had me going for a sec
2:15: I'm amazed Darko hasn't put this movie on PPV yet like they did with World's Greatest Dad. It's not going to get enough press (because Tucker is pretty much blackballed at this point) to generate any word of mouth, and is doomed to fail without a trailer in theatres and ANY adverts whatsoever. If they threw it on PPV now, and it was marginally funny, at least you'd get people talking before the release.
still no updates from the real tourbust opener. maybe he got hospitalized in Atlanta.
Fun with Tucker quotes:
"-Not sure of the cost. Regular movie tickets are usually like $10, and we will definitely charge more than that for three reasons: 1., You are getting to see the movie before it comes out in theaters, 2. You get to interact afterwards with me and Nils and everyone else there, and 3. You get a bunch of cool stuff. We may vary the cost depending on the size of the venue, the demand, etc, but it won’t be exorbitant–probably like $20 to $30 a ticket. [And if that sounds like too much, that's cool, just wait the few weeks until it releases wide and see it for the normal price]."
"I’d rather charge $30 and have you guys leave feeling like you got a bargain, then charge $50 and have you leave feeling like you wish it had cost a little less."
"Before we became writers and producers, we were just normal fans like anyone else, and nothing pissed us off as fans more than when a company or an athlete or a musician would do something that is total bullshit and clearly geared at ripping the fans off in one way or another. Why would they do that? Why would they treat their fans like crap? Don’t they remember what it was like to be a normal fan? Don’t they see that by fucking their fans they are ultimately hurting themselves?
We swore that if we achieved our dreams, if we made it, we would adhere to a very simple rule: Treat our fans the way we would want to be treated as fans, because ultimately, we are fans too."
"Just like when I want from site to book I lost fans because I wrote a book for the non-fans, this movie was made for the non-fan, and as a result, some of the real hard core fans will hate it. A casualty of success, and one we are willing at accept. Especially if it means losing some of these people on this thread. And of course, it means picking up about 20 million more fans. Which will help dry the tears."
It must be fun being Tucker Max. Those extremely reasonable ticket prices that he later sliced because he thought they weren't very reasonable.
Then he decides he'll create something as a fan, but wrote it for the non-fan. After all, fans always appreciate being fucked over.
On the IMDB board, there's some confusion and false claims about the script. I don't care enough to make an account there, but here's the deal:
Two versions of the script were leaked.
The first was from 4/22/2007 and was an abomination. (It's also the script that Tucker claims to have received 7-figure offers for). The second was from 4/18/2008 and had a fairly huge plot rewrite (while keeping almost all the jokes and dialogue... go figure). This second version was discussed on gawker, reviewed by the script reader, and matches the leaked footage and trailer.
"(It's also the script that Tucker claims to have received 7-figure offers for)."
A few pages back someone was posting about the meetings Tucker had with Hollywood people. The short version: Tucker would walk into a room where some flunky had been sent to talk to him, Tucker would discuss various potential monetary offers, and explain that those numbers weren't good enough and he wanted something better, without ever explaining what it was he was selling. Flunky would think "WTF?" while saying "Uh-huh. Thank you for your time, Mr. Max, don't call us we'll call you."
So those 7-figure offers appear to have been, like so much else, entirely figments of Otto's own fevered brain.
Hey tucker,
Do you worry that your movie is *too* good? I mean, pretty much every line is going to be a catchphrase... baking a quiche, don't taze me bro, buttfucked by a garbage truck, raise your hand if you've ever fucked a midget, etc.
In a couple weeks, the movie won't be fresh and original because all the lines will be a part of popular culture! Earlier today, I had this conversation with my boss (in the bathroom)
Me: I gotta bake a quiche
Boss: Smells like you got buttfucked by a garbage truck
Me: Don't taze me bro!
Boss: Raise your hand if you've ever fucked Cindy in accounting....
(Boss raises his hand, accidentally pisses all over himself)
Me: Donde esta el fucking bano!!!
Then we high fived and drank like a gallon of moonshine.
^^^^^^
Nice...
I thought he was saying "baking a cake" ... which is pretty unfunny...
The only thing unfunnier than "baking a cake" is ...
"baking a quiche..."
I guess my poor hearing saved me from that joke but damn you for pointing out the reality!
Tucker is tweeting nonsense... If I was with a partner, I wouldn't be f'ing around on my iphone, I'd be enjoying the company. I guess he's too awesome for companionship.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Her: "you should fuck me bc then I'll shit on your face and you'll have a new story." please kill me
19 minutes ago from
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Her: "i only fucked one guy in europe bc he was a marine and he was gonna die."about
2 hours ago from TwitterFon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
With a girl who is drinking white grape vodka and fruit punch Capri sun. Stay classy Georgia.
about 3 hours ago from TwitterFon
Fuck me, that asshole has been reading this board and he used my "live blogging" comment to inspire his retard twitter log.
Ugh, I contributed to the delinquency of a douchebag. What's my punishment?
^^^
You must watch the movie ala Alex the Droog in clockwork orange.
If you were promoting a movie almost solely through the internet which was based on one real character whose personality was almost the only draw for those who would want to watch it...wouldn't you update your online blog - during the premier tour - more quickly than this? He hasn't updated since the 15th.
Tucker Max's fanbase in a nutshell:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3839246764/
"A few pages back someone was posting about the meetings Tucker had with Hollywood people. The short version: Tucker would walk into a room where some flunky had been sent to talk to him, Tucker would discuss various potential monetary offers, and explain that those numbers weren't good enough and he wanted something better, without ever explaining what it was he was selling. Flunky would think "WTF?" while saying "Uh-huh. Thank you for your time, Mr. Max, don't call us we'll call you."
So those 7-figure offers appear to have been, like so much else, entirely figments of Otto's own fevered brain."
Well, you are missing the parts where Tucker kept talking about the need "to keep creative control," which for a script that the studio has not even agreed to buy yet, is the proverbial "nuclear discussion stopper," even with a flunky. Very few people in hollywood have any real individual creative control. The first way to get it is to be your own money man, i.e. Lucas, Spielberg, the whole Dreamworks concept." The second is to make a number of very financially successful projects so that you are so integral to the product's success that they essentially let you keep doing what made you successful, Hanks, Howard are in that category. And you can fall off that list very quickly--ask Michael Cimmino, Night Shymalan, and Kevin Costner.
But telling a studio person, flunky, assistant, or head, when you've never done anything in Hollywood, that you expect or demand "creative control" is the equivalent of walking into the office; (1) wearing a blue tooth headset, (2) a Hawaiian shirt under a powder blue double knit mid seventies leisure suit, (3) a kick me sign on your back, and (4) a tattoo on your forehead that says "I am a total flaming douchebag." In fact, a studio is far more likely to hire the leisure suit wearing billboard for douchiness than the unproven script writer who asks for "creative control." Wardrobe and makeup can remove some of the douchiness of the former, but the studio knows right off the bat that there is no cure for the latter.
"Tucker Max's fanbase in a nutshell:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3839246764"
That makes me want to sell on my dress shirts that have prints on them.
1. You have to look good to wear one of those
2. Be in shape
3. Be out at a night club or something, you don't wear that shirt to the movies
That is his fan base. Must be one of those red neck guys from the book.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3838447015/in/photostream/
I like this one better.
From left to right...gay, gayer, gayest, running down the street flaming.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3838444369/in/photostream/
Oh my...isn't this one of the girls Tucker abuses. I can't understand people, the opening joke of the trailer is about killing fat people because they don't count.
it looks like somebody got into it on the imdb board last night, with the real bob gosse. not sure if its really him, but the account was created like, four years ago, and hes only commented one one other board, one of gosse's movies.
thread is here:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/145672299
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3838423277/in/photostream/
This one seems about right. Are you about to have Buttseth with this one Tucker?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3838414105/in/photostream/
I didn't know Megadeath got back together!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3838396173/in/photostream/
Looks ragingly full to me. What happened to the 300 people sell out full to the brims.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3836974571/in/photostream/
What? No huge lines outside your bus trying to bang the stars?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3817609529/in/photostream/
That's right. An empty bar. Look at Nils. Fucking 40, 50 something loser hanging around bars.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3839179308/in/set-72157621961651987/
Yes, you are a gigantic tool hanging out with other tools, worshipping another tool.
No, its not really Bob Gosse. Just someone f-ing around.
The screen name is BobGosse -1
"I don't concur at all with your opinion of a movie you have not seen. I happen to think the direction is great. The actors at the top of their game. A solid screenplay and some inventive cinematography. I mean, I am no expert in these matters but I'd give the film a high grade. The editing, sound design and the music work well in this. Obviously the work of a master filmmaker and genius. It is really pretty astonishing on many levels."
I mean do you really believe that the real Bob Gosse would write: "I happen to think the direction is great." Even a b-director like Bob Gosse, would not post that his own direction is great. "master filmmaker and genius" that's great stuff but it is a joke. The fact that Barry Bater took the bait is pretty funny. But us haterz are becoming so subtle that we are fooling each other. Personally, I think that this is pretty funny. I'm waiting for someone with the name Nils Parker-1 to post how well written he thinks the script is.
Sorry about all the Flickr posts guys, but I was just scrolling them and thanks for the first link other guy.
I mean, I was laughing out loud at the office. This is hilarious and pathetic.
"But us haterz are becoming so subtle that we are fooling each other."
That's the hilarious part. That blatantly unreal sarcasm is completely believed as coming out of Tuckers camp.
There's nothing too insane, to outlandish, too stupid, for Tucker to come out with. So much we believe fake posts.
Weird. At first I thought it was some troll with a sense of humor, then I checked back and saw that the bobgosse_1 account was created last year, with the sole comment restricted to answering a Niagra, Niagra question. Either that is Gosse, or someone warped enough to strongly identify with him.
If it really was Gosse, I can see why he undertook Tucker's project. No sense of humor, and inflated self-importance, and a full tool shed to boot.
Re: Flickr posts.
If Beer was served at this premiere, then the aspiration/question posed by Tucker has been answered.
News to Tucker. This is Hell. It doesn't get any worse than being 35 and riding around in a bus with Nils and friends, and having to endure questions and photo ops with the douches in this audience. Really. Who is the flamer with the microphone? The only thing worse than no people showing up to see Tucker's movie would be these people showing up--and having to answer questions about a movie that you know has pushed you off the edge into poverty.
How does Tucker resist the old Shatner skit where he yells at the Trekkies to "get a life?"
"Who is the flamer with the microphone?"
I believe that's Bill Dawes. An old douchebag, again trying to look hip.
Why do these 40-something guys think pattern T-shirts are cool for their generation? He looks 50 something to be honest, with done up roots.
Where a nice button dress shirt, untucked, with blue jeans. You can be 40-50 and do that.
Not an Affliction T-shirt. Are you in MMA? No. Lets Rand Cotour where that because he's the man, and he can do that.
*wear
Ugh spelling.
The lack of audience enthusiasm is pretty obvious from Tucker's abnormally subdued blog entry.
The bobgosse-1 account was created in 2005 with the only post before yesterday being on a movie he directed. Don't see how a troll could predict the future 4 years out of gosse ultimately directing tucker's movie.
I don't think it was a troll. I think it was really bob gosse
^then it's time to fuck with him.
8:15 am: look at the account history. Def. Not someone just messing around. 2005?
He has a new entry? Repost please so those of us behind work websense filters can laff at him.
"I don't think it was a troll. I think it was really bob gosse"
bobgosse-1 wrote:
"Obviously the work of a master filmmaker and genius. It is really pretty astonishing on many levels."
I'm sorry, I cannot believe that anyone short of Tucker-level doucheness could have posted that about his own work.
^^^ Dude, the account was created FOUR YEARS ago- who else could it be than Gosse. Plus, the poster was rambling on about all the lame-ass awards Gosse has won. Who else could it be?
I've only been peripherally involved in the movie industry, so I'm hardly an insider or connected. The egos of even some of the most marginal actors and assistant directors is really something to behold.
You people aren't seeing the glory before your eyes.
Bob Gosse = ultimate hater.
Who could possibly hate Tuck more right now?
He's probably fucking around like the rest of us.
Plus, he's probably anti semite guy on here. Who better to fake jewbash than someone who made Holocaust documentaries.
"Bob Gosse = ultimate hater.
Who could possibly hate Tuck more right now?
He's probably fucking around like the rest of us."
Yeah after thinking about this (and the age of the account) I agree with this. It's a sort of penultimate victory. Ultimate victory comes when Tucker has a major breakdown all over his message board.
What the fuck? Seriously, every fucking picture with tucker, he's leaning his head over to the right. Kind of looks like he's photobombing or something. Very weird.
Barrybater and MCcoymwhatever... If you post here, gd you're stupid sacks of fail.
You had the director and you scared him away with idiocy. We don't hate anyone but Tucker. You're making us all look bad.
We could have gotten dirt.... Good dirt... But your e machismo fucked it up. Sound like anyone you know? Tucker maybe?
Dumbasses. If I could fyb I would in this case.
Jesus... It is like when all of the ignorant children joined the Dem party for Obama....many of whom dumbassedly were on the Bush train the prior election. Idiots follow trends and the haters have clearly attracted fine ones.
What is the haterz/fans equivalent of Libertarians because that's where I need to be now.
wow,
concerning the atl photos, why are 99% of tugger fans obese?
and why has bob gosse seemingly crawled out of the woodwork over at imdb?
dawes is also an ugly mongoloid and should never speak in public again
It would be a great day in TMDB history if that is actually Bob Gosse. What an insecure little biatch!
Also, it has been more boring around here. I think it's because Tucker never updates so the deconstructors have nothing to destroy, and there's just no coverage of this "event," anywhere.
" Anonymous said...
Barrybater and MCcoymwhatever... If you post here, gd you're stupid sacks of fail.
You had the director and you scared him away with idiocy. We don't hate anyone but Tucker. You're making us all look bad.
We could have gotten dirt.... Good dirt... But your e machismo fucked it up. Sound like anyone you know? Tucker maybe?
Dumbasses. If I could fyb I would in this case.
Jesus... It is like when all of the ignorant children joined the Dem party for Obama....many of whom dumbassedly were on the Bush train the prior election. Idiots follow trends and the haters have clearly attracted fine ones.
What is the haterz/fans equivalent of Libertarians because that's where I need to be now.
8/21/2009 12:05 PM"
Wrong. What do you think we could have gotten our of Gosse? He was there for no other reason than to stroke his ego and tell off his anonymous detractors. Go back and read the exchanges again- my pointing out that he's a failure as a director and Hollywood figure angered him and caused his insecure ass to resort to the same thing Tucker does- listing off his 'accomplishments' in an attempt to quell his feelings of inadequacy. He looked like an utter fool. What else would we have wanted to do with him?
Agreed. Gosse was just stroking his ego, and giving the party line. Unless someone finds a way to waterboard over the 'Net, he wasn't going to assasinate Tucker Max just yet. After the movie bombs completely, I'm sure he'll stick a shiv in Tucker's rep.
Bill Dawes looks like he's been through more dick than a sorority.
Gosse clearly has a terrible sense of humor. He was trying to make jokes, with time to plan out his responses, and that was the best he could do. And this from a guy who is directing a revolutionary comedy.
Sorry Tucker, that doesn't speak well for your movie at all.
In case anyone here was wondering how the Millionaire Playboi Pimps of the Internet Tour was doing, I have listed all the dates and Tucker's reaction.
Aug 11 Portland OR --"awesome!"
Aug 12 Seattle WA --"awesome!"
Aug 19 Atlanta GA --"awesome!"
Aug 20 Athens GA --"awesome!"
Aug 23 Tallahassee FL --"awesome!"
Aug 24 Gainesville FL --"awesome!"
Aug 25 Columbia SC --"awesome!"
Aug 26 Raleigh NC NC --"awesome!"
Aug 27 Blacksburg VA --"awesome!"
Aug 28 Wash DC --"awesome!"
Aug 30 College Park MD --"awesome!"
Aug 31 State College PA --"awesome!"
Sep 1 Philadelphia PA --"awesome!"
Sep 2 Boston MA --"awesome!"
Sep 3 New York NY --"awesome!"
Sep 4 Toronto Canada --"awesome!"
Sep 8 East Lansing MI--"awesome!"
Sep 9 Columbus OH --"awesome!"
Sep 10 Lexington KY --"awesome!"
Sep 11 Bloomington IN --"awesome!"
Sep 12 Chicago IL --"awesome!"
Sep 13 Madison WI --"awesome!"
Sep 14 Minneapolis MN --"awesome!"
Sep 15 Iowa City IA --"awesome!"
Sep 16 Lawrence KS --"awesome!"
Sep 17 Norman OK --"awesome!"
Sep 18 Austin TX UT --"awesome!"
Sep 20 Tempe AZ --"awesome!"
Sep 21 Los Angeles CA --"awesome!"
Sep 23 San Diego CA --"awesome!"
Sep 24 San Francisco CA --"awesome!"
For whoever asked for the new blog entry:
Since Atlanta and Athens are so close in geographic and cultural proximity, I was going put both posts together.
That was before last night. I am honestly not even sure where to begin describing what happened to me last night–in short, I encountered one of the ten craziest girls I have ever met. And THAT is saying something, so give me a day or two to process the events and write it up. Highlights from Atlanta:
-Atlanta screening went great, but man, there is such a difference between the screenings where the theater sells alcohol and the ones where they don’t. There is the predictable difference in crowd energy, etc, but the real difference is that “one guy” on the sober audience if very different that the drinking audience. In Atlanta they served beer, and one dude was so drunk by the end of the movie, he got up to piss and when he came back he couldn’t find his seat. So he just sat in the back of the theater and giggled to himself. And Nils is pretty sure he shit his pants. Or maybe he smells like that all the time.
-An exchange with some ATL girls:
Her “I went to College of Charleston!”
Tucker “The guy who plays me in the movie when to CoC.”
Her “What’s his name?”
Tucker “Matt Czuchry.”
Her “Hmph. I’ve never heard of him. But I do know that Logan from Gilmore Girls went to CoC, and was captain of the tennis team when he was there!”
Tucker “You’re a fucking idiot.”
-In line for the screening, some dude said, “What Randy Couture does with punches, Tucker does with words.” I am not sure if that’s meant to be good or bad, as Couture has never been known for his stand-up, but I will take any comparison to Randy that I can get.
-I gave my number to a girl, but ended up bailing on her for a different girl. After a few texts pleading for me to come over, she ended with this gem, “But what about my pussy?” Such complex brilliance expressed in such few words.
-An email from an Atlanta girl:
“I want to meet you and by meet you I mean fuck you. I didn’t preorder any books or movie tickets because I would rather RSVP to your cock Tucker. I hope you get back to me because I am just out to have a good time and fuck someone who is a published author and has offended many (Henry Miller would be the first author I would want to fuck for his raw Tropic of Cancer, but he is fucking old and I’m not into saggy balls or Brooklyn).”
Henry Miller is not old. Henry Miller is dead. For thirty years. Glad to know this one rates an RSVP to my cock above a femur in her pussy.
-The pictures of the Atlanta premiere.
-The video highlight reel:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbWbsZds9vM)
-I want to talk about something else. The email below is becoming a pattern:
“Any chance I could get a ticket to your premiere in NYC? We could trade a ticket for something else, like sex or a blowjob or whatever. I’m down for anything.”
I mean, come on. That is incredibly creeper. Don’t get me wrong, if you are a hot girl–and not totally insane–I would love to discuss the possibility of us having sex. We can even have sex. But not for the exchange of goods. That is prostitution, and it may not bother you to sell access to your vagina, but it does bother me, especially if my penis is involved.
And yes, I am FULLY aware of the multiple levels of irony in that last paragraph. Fuck off.
-BTW, did a live blog on one of my favorite sites, Kentucky Sports Radio. Never done one before, it was pretty fun. I don’t know if it’s worth reading through, but the link is above if you want to try.
You know .... after realizing he wouldn't get any "fuck you" money from this turd, tucker switched gears and says it's about the art and changing hollywood.
Now, hollywood accounting is fucked up and they fuck over lots of writers and other people who get a percentage of profits (since no movie has ever generated a profit, on paper) and they could use a change. But this abortion shows shows the need for hollywood. If tucker had given up creative control and either sold the book rights or sold the script, with a real budget, real production, real actors, real director, a much better movie would have been created. (Yes, the script sucks and would require a lot of rewriting first).
Maybe he can sell some of the clips to Law & Order or something.
In the New York Criminal Justice system, 35 year old frat-guys with man tits are considered douchebags. These are their stories.
Cold open:
TM: What are you doing?
Girl With Fucked Up Eyes: I'm talking to the turtles.
TM: Are they telling you to kill that fat chick? Cause that's what they're telling me to do.
doink-doink!
It reallllly seems to me that the "audience reactions" are staged. Might be mccoymountain-level conspiracy paranoia but it feels so scripted.
(Speaking of which, how awesome is it that after all these years, viacom guy is still screaming his story to anyone who will listen? And this time we have a name!)
And the Award for most original artwork goes to........
http://www.theseriouscomedysite.com/images/dave-attell.jpg
Holy cripes! That was like six years ago.
yes!
"Bob Gosse = ultimate hater.
Who could possibly hate Tuck more right now?
He's probably fucking around like the rest of us."
Yeah after thinking about this (and the age of the account) I agree with this. It's a sort of penultimate victory. Ultimate victory comes when Tucker has a major breakdown all over his message board."
What other directors was Tucker consdiering/talking to?
"yup, otto now lives in a house of bullshit built on sand.
the douche-water tide's coming in..."
well stated!
Hey look!!! The movie is getting a little message board time over at Rotten Tomatoes:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/showthread.php?t=689306
^^^^^^^^
I'm pretty sure that TDG is BAPTIZED on Rotten Tomatoes.
He just completely decapitated a Tucker fan on RT, it was wonderful to watch.
Interesting reading on RT. Check out the post counts for the people who are commenting. They don't appear to be your typical hater/fanboi posters who only registered to comment on Tucker's film.
DECONSTRCTING GOSSE: From Here To Infamy!!!
(In this episode we find out that like minded douchebags make horrific movies together)
"by bobgosse-1 19 hours ago (Thu Aug 20 2009 16:48:18)
I don't concur at all with your opinion of a movie you have not seen."
True, haven't seen it, but I think seeing Paul Wall (who?) rapping at the end of the video made up my opinion.
"I happen to think the direction is great."
Bob, for a guy who can't tell jokes, you are one funny motherfucker.
"The actors at the top of their game."
What game? Matt Whocry has game? Maybe I didn't catch that "game" when he played "Motorcyclist #4" in 8 Legged Freaks and uttered that awesome line "Look out!!! Giant spiders!!!"
And come on, Jesse Bradford has seen better days.
"A solid screenplay"
Seriously, my diarrhea is more solid than Tucker's script. I realize you are trying to be a company man here, but who do you think you're bullshitting? This might work with Tucker's fans, but away from the board it rings hollow.
In other words, no need to lie, it's like trying to bluff with a set of transparent playing cards.
"and some inventive cinematography."
Wait, you forgot to mention "Oscaresque dialogue".
"I mean, I am no expert in these matters"
You're no expert at choosing projects either.
"but I'd give the film a high grade."
I'd give the film... away. Disown the fucker and blame it all on Tucker. It's exactly what he's going to do to you once it bombs.
"The editing, sound design and the music work well in this."
Unfortunately the acting, script and production value don't work at all in this.
"Obviously the work of a master filmmaker and genius. It is really pretty astonishing on many levels."
It's truly astonishing that you actually thought this was worth a year or two of your life. Hope you got paid the DGA rate on this one...
"Depends on your definition of success."
I define success now by this: I can fuck up in any number of ways, but at least I didn't have anything to do with IHTSBIH.
I win. Success.
Part II:
"Did he win the Volpi Cup for his actress at the Venice International Film Festival?"
Wait, so now you're saying you beat up an actress and locked her in a room and took her place so he could win best actress in Venice?
There is no end to the talent of Bob Gosse!!!
"Did he win an award for his direction of Courtney Love at Outfest?"
Dude, Bob Gosse should win an award for just putting up with Courtney Love and Tucker Max in one lifetime.
"Best feature at Philadelphia Gay Lesbian Festival for Julie Johnson?"
So you've directed stories that ranged from fags to douchebags. Well done Mr. Gosse.
"Invited to Berlin and Sundance?"
Really Bob? What film of yours was chosen to be shown at Sundance? Your retarded baseball movie starring Gary Carter and Dave Winfield? Niagara, Niagara (which grossed even less than your retarded baseball movie) or Julie Johnson (which nobody saw and, from what I've read, is stuck on some shelf in Canada, never to be seen)?
That's like me saying I invented the microchip because I took a trip to San Francisco.
"Depends on your yardstick..."
My yardstick is 4 inches, but it's all about width anyhow. Whatever. FUCK YOU!!! BANNED!!!
"His company Shooting Gallery produced lots of films"
You know Bob, I checked out the Shooting Gallery. Seems like they were the model for indie films, but somehow it got fucked up:
http://www.villagevoice.com/2001-07-17/film/the-shooting-gallery-1991-2001/
The funny part about this is this: You really had nothng to do with the Shooting Gallery, at least on the money end:
http://www.observer.com/node/44906
Which is why you weren't listed on any of the lawsuits against the Shooting Gallery:
http://www.nycourts.gov/comdiv/Law%20Report%20Files/July%202003/DaPuzzo.htm
I noticed you weren't listed on the lawsuit against your company. If you were such a major player, where's your name? Not a partner? How is it "your company" then?
I worked for McDonalds once. Doesn't mean I came up with the idea for Chicken McNuggets.
"Some nominated for academy awards. Stuff like "You Can Count On Me". "Henry Fool" was good. "Slingblade" won an Oscar. "
Hey, where's Niagara, Niagara? It won a prestigious award for something you took credit for once.
By the way, your name isn't on any one of those movies. Not anywhere.
"Your company" indeed.
"Barrybater on the other hand is seen on Xtube shoving a carrot up his ass. So it is subjective I think..."
That's funny dude. Reminds me of a story when I saw this movie trailer for this movie called "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" and to ease the pain that my eyes and brain felt, I had to shove something painful up my ass so I could forget the horror of what I just saw during that lost 1:30.
It's not on YouTube though, you'll just have to take my word for it, much like you took the word of Tucker when he said "It's going to be a masterpiece".
"I read recently that more than 90% of americans do not possess a passport."
I'll make a bet that 100% of Tucker's fans are mutually inclusive of your 90% subset.
"That is sorta nuts. "
So is paying 10 dollars to see your piece of shit movie.
"This is reflected in the ignorance of my dear friend Barrybater."
Oh great, here we see the limitations of the pretentious comedy of Bob Gosse. No wonder Tucker chose him to helm his movie.
"A master filmmaker in his own right. He has many opinions that he holds dear and I celebrate them. With a carrot up his ass. When we get a glimpse of his cinema, we get a glimpse into his grasp of lighting, direction (which he knows a great deal about), sound, script structure and Astroglide. Ain't life grand?"
Have to give Tucker credit, this man cannot tell a joke.
Seriously "Bob", it's not our fault you chose to align yourself with a douchebag like Tucker, but after reading "your" diatrabe it's obvious that he got the right man for the job. An unfunny person to helm an unfunny film.
-TDG
TDG IN DA HOUSE!!!!
^^^^^^
Holy shit TDG, you really did your legwork on that one.
Somebody needs to post this on IMDB.
"A solid screenplay"
Seriously, my diarrhea is more solid than Tucker's script. I realize you are trying to be a company man here, but who do you think you're bullshitting? This might work with Tucker's fans, but away from the board it rings hollow.
In other words, no need to lie, it's like trying to bluff with a set of transparent playing cards.
-------------------------------------
Yeah, maybe Gosse has a pair of eleventeens too!!!
TDG = The second coming of christ
Okay,
If it isn't Bob Gosse, the writer is a douche, because who the fuck cares enough about his films to enter his name as your own screen name? It's obscure, but not in a Hal Hartley sort of way. It's obscure because Gosse is a non-talent who hasn't directed anything since "his company" went bankrupt.
If it is Bob Gosse, then we're talking about a whole new definition for douchebag. He writes in the 3rd person (automatic douche) so much I thought it might be Tucker.
"女性会員様増加につき、当サイトの出張ホストが不足中です。女性の自宅やホテルに出向き、欲望を満たすお手伝いをしてくれる男性アルバイトをただいま募集していますので、興味のある方はTOPページから無料登録をお願いいたします"
I have never understood why exactly ching-chong chinamen think posting lots of question marks means anything to anybody.
hahahahahahaha one of the threads about the tour some girl was thrown out of the car and he said "shes lucky thats all she got". what kind of limp wristed fucking faggot pussyboy talks like that about women? id love to have tucker strike my wife, i gurantee you he wouldn't even have an open casket from the disgusting things that would result on his woman beating pansyboy face.
You 'gurantee' it, eh?
http://www.newsobserver.com/105/story/1654321.html
tuggers comb over hair-do in full effect.
he look really fuckin pale too, im worried about him
OTOH, he actually got mentioned somewhere other than here or his own blog. Viva la revolucion!
"I'm pretty sure that TDG is BAPTIZED on Rotten Tomatoes.
He just completely decapitated a Tucker fan on RT, it was wonderful to watch."
Do you have a link to this? I can't find any boards on rotten tomatoes?
It's literally right above what you just copy/pasted.
Read the article. Tired of Tucker referencing Slumdog.
I have never seen it. Months of wannabe hipsters chattering about its brilliance made me want to see it less. Winning awards.... Less. Going commercial... Less. Seein the dancing move onto sytycd...less. Flashin back to a college roommate who forced me to watch Bollywood stuff in 01... No desire to see it.
Tucker trashin the trailer a few weeks ago.... Still... No interest.
Through twist of luck... I stumbled on it this week... The trailer... I watched it and LOVED IT BASED UPON THE TRAILER AND NOTHING ELSE. It almost had me in tears. So good.
So Tuck and Jojo need to stfu.... Trailers ARE the main way movies arr marketed and if a trailer has shitty content... That indicates the movie has at least that much shitty content. I'm not paying for shitty content if I can avoid it. Transformers 2... The exception.
every time Tucker compares his vanity project to Slumdog, a pregnancy is spontaneously aborted in Africa.
http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/
lol
This site is almost as bad as Tucker Max's site. I don't know what's worse, Person A starting a blog about how cool they are and how much ***** they get, or Person B starting a blog about how uncool Person A is and how much ***** they don't get.
Seriously, this is like Aliens vs. Predator - whoever wins, we lose.
"every time Tucker compares his vanity project to Slumdog, a pregnancy is spontaneously aborted in Africa."
Good
One less Nigger
Damn, TDG, this Deconstruction of Bob Gosse was your most brilliant work yet. You should consider investigative journalism as a career if you haven't as of yet. And this line might be the truest thing you've ever written:
"Dude, Bob Gosse should win an award for just putting up with Courtney Love and Tucker Max in one lifetime."
Amen, brother.
what is the third hit to show up when you google 'tucker max'? wikipedia! what is the encyclopedia that anyone can edit? wikipedia! what does that mean? you can register for wikipedia, learn to edit correctly, and stop ryan holiday from censoring tucker's article. we can all register and own him about as publically as if we took over his message board. wikipedia's coming 4 u, tucker and ryan
Scoresman, got a tattoo.
From that News Observer article:
"That's right. Max -- the man who makes a living writing about his own boorishness -- hopes to get married and have children."
Bunny, what drugs did you slip him?
re: slumdog millionaire, I actually saw bits of it on a transatlantic flight. From what I saw of it, it's not that hot a movie.
Innocence proves nothing.
Knowledge is power, guard it well.
An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded.
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
haters.
this movie looks like it's going to be awesome.
a talking turtle, telling people to kill fat chicks.
EPIC LULZ. I can only imagine how much funnier all of the shit that couldn't show in the trailers!
If America had less fat chicks there'd be more better pussy for everyone.
Fat chicks are good only for pump'n'dump and the more guys pump'n'dump 'em the more they get desperate and spread their thunderthighs the wider hoping to catch some guy who'll like them for their personality. But guys don't fuck personality.
Ban fat chicks! And major fist bumps to Tucker for telling it like it is!
Remember my prediction? The trolls are back.
CHEST BUMP
We never left, yo.
But, yeah, I totally remember some anonymous poster making some sort of prediction about something. Whatever it was I'm sure they were right.
this board is beginning to suck. tired of tdg posting his lame nonsense and then patting himself on the back in a very tucker-esque move. tdg, shut the fuck up, nobody cares what you have to say on any subject.
bring back the guy who wrote the fake tucker interviews. he's actually entertaining/funny.
Fuck you anon @ 3:32 p.m.
TDG is a saint. Take your anon negativity and go fuck yourself
Scoresman, got a tattoo.
yeah, TDG's the man. Fuck you, anti-TDG-guy (ATDGG?). the fake tucker story guy is funny as hell, to, though .would like to see that guy come back. the fake tucker fan, too.
Yeah, man, this board totally sucks now, not like how it used to be just really smart people discussing the finer points of Tuckerism falsity and treating each other with the utmost respect. Like in the good old days of the Baylor argument.
Bring Back Baylor! Guy (BBBG)
seriously though, this is all Tucker's fault. he just isn't screwing up enough or publicly enough to generate enough stuff to point and laugh at right now. it's sort of a 'yup, bad numbers, yup, he's failing ... yawn what's on tv' sorta moment
This thread is probably going to break when it hits 10,000 comments. Do we head to the previous post on this blog, or over to Mcbeefsmoker's other blog?
Actually, by that time, the movie will probably have bombed, and I think the Tucker Max saga may finally be over.
Yeah, it's a little boring. Though I thought the Flickr pictures were hilarious.
Tucker is just so lame its almost not funny now. But I still like when he posts something new and TDG dismantles it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3842330915/in/photostream/
Mmmmmmm...nice Man Crush Tucker. Is this one of your hook ups?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3842320011/in/photostream/
That's right bill. The microphone is shaped like a cock, now go ahead and do what you know you want to.
Getting closer to 10,000 comments. What zany antics we've had here.
Why does Tucker feel the need to post every single damn photo of him posing with some retard fan on flicker? What the hell is he trying to prove? Look at me I have this many fans so you should come see my movie?
And in every single friggin one hes wearing the same gray T-shirt. WTF? Does he not own any other clothes? Its too weird - who wears the same thing day after day after friggin day.
1. I'm a fat chick and I wouldn't fuck you. My standards are too high dearest pumpndump guy.
2. Gray tshirt guy.... Seriously? You don't know this? That's part of his persona. That's like LL and his one leg, Michelle Obama and her sleeveless shit, or Hill and her pants suits.
3. Zany. Great word. You win.
4. TDG.... Did you go full retard on us with the racism?
Is that the fake TDG who posted the retirement statement?
TDG has the divine power to find the douche in Tucker's "art".
TDG has even spotted a fake fan review simply because the douche emitting was all too similar of the doucheness of Tucker Max.
TDG doesn't need to give anyone a reason on why he does what he does.
He simply has beaten Tucker at his own game of wits.
The strange thing however, is that I think Tucker is finally realizing it.
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
man, i just want to say. you are dick tucker max.
has BIH hell beaten the hangover yet?
how about now?
"Anything The Hangover can do at the box office we can beat. Easily." Tucker Max, June 2009
THE HANGOVER box office as of 07/16/09 ---
Domestic: $226,309,780
+ Foreign: $74,700,000
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
= Worldwide: $301,009,780
"American comedies do not do well overseas. Ever. Overseas distribution is not important to us at all." Tucker Max, June 2009
That was definitely fake TDG with the racist post.
you idiots are just jailous of tucker because hes a way much better writer than any of you are, and he gets layed all the time while you sit at home and playing xbox. grow the fuck up and just admit you hate tucker bacause hes everything youre not.
you get laid, not layed, moron.
and xbox? what do you think Tucker spent all of his time doing when he got kicked off the set? right, playing Wii Mario Kart.
Quickie review of "Inglorious Basterds":
The premise of this movie is that Jews go and kill lots of Germans in barbaric and terrifying ways. Historically of course, nothing of the sort ever happened, the Jews pretty much behaved like sheep, not wolves. The one time they fought back - the Warsaw ghetto - they only killed a handful of Germans before getting exterminated. So it's revenge porn: mental masturbation by Hollywood Jews pretending very hard to themselves that they're heroic when in fact they're - well, let's keep this polite. It insults the American army by presenting American soldiers as being willing to engage in massacres and war crimes, when in fact they were the most humane army involved - the one time there was anything like a massacre, they lined up a bunch of SS they'd grabbed from a concentration camp and shot them in the head, firing squad style, like men. Nothing like this movie's terrorism tactics. There certainly was never any systematic killing of women and children, which the Jews in this movie seem to think is a good idea. It insults the German army by presenting them as Nazis (in actuality, membership in the Nazi party was banned for all German military members, that's why Hitler needed to create the Waffen SS, to have his parallel Nazi army), and also by portraying them as being war criminals (the Wehrmacht was one of the most professional and disciplined forces in history).
Ah, here we go:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32387123/ns/health-behavior/
It turns out that if people are shown a fictional movie, and read a true account of the same subject, they will 50% of the time, one week later, when asked what truly happened, respond with the movie's version of events.
Who controls Hollywood? Jews control Hollywood.
thanks tucker for that review
thanks tucker for that review
@9:01
Next you're going to tell me Hitler wasn't gunned down in a Parisian theater. It's almost as if...Inglourious Basterds wasn't a documentary.
Moreover, the movie didn't glorify the Basterds. The people in the audience watching Inglourious Basterds are like the Nazis in the audience watching Nation's Pride. So the movie wasn't "revenge porn."
You, like all anti-Semites, are idiotic. People are not going to think Inglourious Basterds depicts actual WWII events.
I think it's a sign of the times that this board is slowly petering out. Reflecting Tucker Max's career, things are not ending with a bang but with a whimper.
Yeah...there's really very little left to be said except "I told you so."
He is currently undertaking the most buzz-free tour in existence, and is reduced to giving his fans free tickets to a premier showing.
It's sorta sad. The levels of fail it is reaching are even surprising in a way.
Scoresman, got a tattoo.
Does this mean the Haterz should be hoping that Tucker's movie succeeds?
I wouldn't go that far.
Just imagine how good Quentin Tarantino's films would be if he hadn't lost creative control!
No, the racist comment was not mine. I am a bigot however but only towards douchebags with an inflated sense of self worth. Then it's extreme prejudice.
Yeah, this board has definitely slowed to a sporadic trickle. But really, what's left to be said?
I don't follow him as closely as you guys, but isn't this movie supposed to open in 1000s of theaters next month?
Not a word or a mention of it anywhere but his own blog. No one writes it up. No one cares.
I wish someone, anyone, would write their own review on here.
Besides Tucker, of course.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUqreSuvVTU
Roughly 4 minutes in Tucker deals with the bullshit question with all the class and respect you'd expect.
And as is Tucker's MO, he doesn't answer the question. How the FUCK did this guy ever get through law school? The stupidity of an ad hom attack is basic knowledge.
That's a pretty good video actually. Tucker comes across as a pretty nice guy. Maybe we've misjudged him.
Did anybody notice that the theater isn't nearly close to full?
GUIDE TO FAT CHICKS
Fat chicks are actually bigger sluts than thin chicks. Why? Because most every fat chick will get fucked by a hot guy at some point. He's doing it just to keep busy Tuesday evening. She thinks her inner precious jewel of princessy perfection has finally gotten the recognition it deserves. When he doesn't call back for weeks and weeks she starts thinking that she screwed up her destined perfect love somehow and spreads 'em for any and every guy who comes along, hoping one of 'em will be The One. But, none are.
Thin girls have higher standards and less inner despair. Ban fat chicks!
Bullshit!!!
Thin girls have bad breath, collapsing lungs and rotting teeth. They get this from years of bulemia.
Plus if a girl won't put food in their stomach it's almost definite that they're not fond of the dick.
5:52, die
5:57, kisses
fail
Bill Dawes
Cross Eyed
You're right, that video does make him look nice.
Professional PR firm = money well fucking spent.
After reading the blog, my biggest problem with Tucker is that he thinks he knows everything.
Lawyer - check
Economist - check
Bartender - check
Psychiatrist - Check
Filmmaker - Check
Writer - Check
Kindergarten Teacher - Check
I'm tired of it, I've hit my limit, I have bigger issues in my life.
Fuck you Tucker Max. You don't know 1/100th of the shit you think you do and you are a disgrace to humans.
Fuck off.
Prick.
"That's a pretty good video actually. Tucker comes across as a pretty nice guy. Maybe we've misjudged him."
I don't understand why people don't get this yet? He acts nice when he needs things.
Anyone remember Shrevport?? Please. He fucking does this all the time. He acts nice to people to their face, trashes them when they're not there.
I've changed my mind. I love you Tucker. I've loved you for so long.
You are my dreamboat.
Bill Dawes' "Comedy"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdo0lL2tTUU
This is funny? He does breakdancing moves in the first minute of his act. How douchey is that.
Now, I've caught Bill's act before, and it wasn't that funny to begin with. A lot of stuff about him being a "wigger" and whatever. Needless to say, the 1/2 filled audience ended up twiddling down to 1/5th full by the time he ended his set.
There's a reason why he's headlining Jamie "Wes Craven No Longer Answers His Calls" Kennedy.
BTW: Bill put this clip up, by all means, please let him know what you think of his "art" in the comment section.
-TDG
"Nice guy"? He seemed like a total douche during those segments. Of course, he really had no response when the kid at 4:00 asked him whether his stories were 70% bullshit. I'm guessing that the stories are closer to 99% bullshit.
Tucker really does look odd in this photo. His head looks too big for his body - he looks like a bobble-head.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3843109594/in/photostream/
A lot of his fans look like total dorks, like these guys:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3842330915/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3842364547/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3843162720/in/photostream/
i started to hate tucker when he starting saying anti semitic bullshit on his board. he was probably drunk when he decided that jew jokes were funny because he removed all of it since. by the way, has anyone noticed that tucker's ears appear to be a bit too low on his head? is there some sort of syndrome you get when your mom is an alcoholic during pregnancy?
all jokes aside, bill dawes is a horrible comic
Looking at the flicker photos of Tucker and his fans.
Douchebag meets douchebag. One after another. You could not make this up. They just seem to attract one another.
Liskula Cohen is a skank and a hag.
11:28, fetal alcohol syndrome?
he also has growths on his arms.
Doucheitis
also, with the stubby extremities, short stature, 'thick' torso, and disproportionate head, he may have a mild form of dwarfism.
Can't be dwarfy. He doesn't build contraptions powered by pressurized magma.
yeah Bill Dawes is a terrible stand up comic.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3851968744/in/photostream/
Why would ugly people subject themselves to this?
That has to be one of the uglier chicks I've ever seen. Has she not read Tucker before?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3851171245/in/photostream/
This was on a Dudes Shoulder in Tallahassee.
And Max is smiling like a Douche.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3851966782/in/photostream/
Really? I bet you did Fuck Tucker max didn't you.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/3842419107/in/photostream/
Must be a gay orgy in the works.
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