The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,918 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 12401 – 12600 of 15918 Newer› Newest»"Just something to ponder. -CF"
What the fuck is the matter with you?
The man has enough trouble facing up to reality already, you think it's a good idea to drug him without his knowledge, that that somehow is fair to him or to any of the people he's been mean to? And you end it with that cowardly "oh, I'm just ASKING, teehee".
You're just creepy.
11:26, shouldn't you be busy licking Tucker's nuts?
11:26, give me a break. Obviously nobody is ACTUALLY going to dose Tucker with acid. I just think it's interesting to consider the potential effect on Tucker's ridiculous ego.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
"The man has enough trouble facing up to reality already, you think it's a good idea to drug him without his knowledge, that that somehow is fair to him or to any of the people he's been mean to?"
Yeah, CF, that would be like plying a girl with alcohol to take her back and have your buddy hiding in the closet to secretly film her getting assfucked? What has Tucker ever done to deserve dropping a bit of acid, something to my knowledge, hasn't resulted in a serious injury or fatality since 1967? I mean, he could have an unpleasant trip or something.
"The man has enough trouble facing up to reality already, you think it's a good idea to drug him without his knowledge, that that somehow is fair to him or to any of the people he's been mean to?"
Yeah, CF, that would be like plying a girl with alcohol to take her back and have your buddy hiding in the closet to secretly film her getting assfucked? What has Tucker ever done to deserve dropping a bit of acid, something to my knowledge, hasn't resulted in a serious injury or fatality since 1967? I mean, he could have an unpleasant trip or something.
I just want to see Tucker admit that he failed. None of this "we made mistakes" crap, none of the blame game, just a flat-out admittance of failure. Personal responsibility, man! Tucker needs to say "I thought I would make a successful movie, but instead I FAILED." Then he would be less of a dipshit than he is now... but a dipshit nonetheless.
I believe Tucker is already taking LSD. How else could you explain a guy who calls his doo-doo stories "art" and thought his piece of shit movie was going to make 40 million dollars in a worst case scenerio?
-TDG
i lied and claimed that i took an accidental watery shit all over a hotel lobby and then claimed i was banned from teh hotel, which is another lie. i am an artist. haterz
Let's not forget who the real winners in this debacle are...the good people in Shreveport who worked on this movie, got paid, and got to go home.
Peanutbutterwolf mentioned the following on imdb:
"Why is Tucker Max now deleting some of his production blog posts? It makes him look like a hypocrite and a coward."
Cockly, Light and Barry, better grab those screenshots now before Tucker can rewrite history...again. Because, you know, the first time he wrote those blog posts he just wasn't accurate enough about predicting the outcome of just how successful his hostile takeover of the entire film industry would be. I'm surprised that he's deleting evidence of his absolute conquest of Hollywood. Viva La Revolution!
Wow. It looks like the estimates were actually HIGHER than the actual.
$1,455 fail.
BTW, IHTSBIH_ twitter guy, I was the revolutionary one who started the mock Tucker Max Facts. I will like appreciation for that!
Blogger's acting up again.
http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/slingblades-take-on-the-movie-and-jesses-response/
The real Slingblade about the movie, circa August 2008:
“All in all I was fairly surprised. First of all I assumed this movie production didn’t even really exist and I was going to find Tucker filming himself masturbating with an 8 mm camera in a dark apartment. Instead there is an honest to goodness movie being made. Tucker actually tricked people into ponying up cash for the sole purpose of Tucker self-aggrandizing his penis-centric lies on the big screen."
Called point and blank from those who know him best.
Go COCKLY!!
Nice
"If the movie was doing shit everyone, that would indicate a creative issue with the movie, and it would just disappear from all theaters. But its not."
Of course not. The movie couldn't possibly just suck. I mean, Tucker and Nils wrote it, and they're hilarious (not to mention smart; did you know that Tucker went to the University of Chicago, which is, like, better than Harvard?), so naturally the movie must be awesome. And of course Tucker's movie was #1 or #1 at the AMC in Times Square. I'm sure it beat out Zombieland. It all makes so much sense now. It's all Darko's/Freestyle's/Bob Gosse's fault. Oh, and all the critics, cause they just don't "get" Tucker and what he's all about it: that scene with him getting diarrhea in the hotel lobby is a piece of great art that will merit serious scholarly analysis for decades to come.
And Tucker's not even the cooletht one of his friendth.
x
TUGGER!!!
bX-inorhr.
bX-inorhr!
BX-INORHR! BX-INORHR! BX-INORHR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cool, I can post, and the post count goes up, but we can't see it yet. need to wait on blogger to do its fixification stuffs
So, how bout that repeat story made up by mcbeefsmoker? Eh? EH?????
In his speech accepting the 1950 Nobel Prize for literature, Bertrand Russell said it is normal to hate what we fear, and it happens frequently, though not always, that we fear what we hate.
Bixnoffer.
HI I AM BIFF
WATS GOIN ON GUYZ Y CANT I SEE THE POSTS
ANYBODY HERE????????????????????????????????????????????
- BIFF!!!
Ex-fanboy admits what we all know:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/148892214
"Well, let's just go ahead and get this out of the way from the get go: The movie sucks gigantic, sweaty donkey balls. I mean, I'm a bit speechless to be honest. The movie itself was just one gigantically epic shyt scene."
... yep
Nice to see Jpeeezy finally come around.
Honestly it's not like any of this was unpredictable ... or unpredicted
I'm going to have to go back through this whole thread, all 65+ pages of it, and see if I can pick out my own posts ... be interesting to see. I think I remember the first one I made, must've been around what is now page 15 or 20 I think.
Ah, the good old days when it was just one giant page.
"Ah, the good old days when it was just one giant page."
And took for freaking EVER to load. I kept thinking my browser had crashed.
No, I don't miss that.
Dead Cold tip:
If you find a door marked "IN HOC SALUS", do NOT open it.
IMDB:
"It should be noted that The Hangover did better yesterday than his movie."
"Anything the Hangover can do, we can beat. Easily." - Tucker Max, June 2009
Well, Tucker, not quite.
hjhj
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Hi Bunny!
Bunny, you oughta stop flagellating yourself and go help Tucker get his mind off his problems. That's the best way to be his friend right now. Something simple, like going to see a movie - or, well, ok, maybe not that.
lol
nah, show tucks some movies
show him lotsa movies
maybe if he watches a few he'll get a clue about what makes a good one or a bad one
Lowercase Guy, Tucker's not capable of getting that particular sort of clue.
Is it just me, or is this place kinda slow tonight?
Yeah, I dunno, guess people are pretty much done pointing and laughing. There still seems to be some discussion on IMDB though. Biscuits' latest (and farewell) post is a pretty good one.
damn good post.
test
How long until Tugger's movie is out on video?
Again, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT!? Why can't I see the last page of comments??
someone needs to fix this blog, STAT!
//
xxxxxxxxxx
GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG
DOUCEBAGBLOGGERS
ANy new noise from Tucker?
One thing this has really brought home to me: Hollywood types are actually very very nice and forgiving people. Surprisingly so. They kept on giving TUcker chances. THey kept on posting on his board, trying to explain things he was blind to. They just kept on giving him chance after chance and extending the helping hands and trying ot be nice to him even when he kept biting htem. He's just a ill-mannered dog, really, teh way he acted, they didn't deserve that.
Jamie Tarses must be a pretty nice person, even in spite of being a big shot, for Tucker to react that way.
imdb repoast
"Hi. Troll here. How's everyone doing? It's kinda quiet huh? Like you can hear a pin drop. (I think I was IP banned for making fun of that Jojo person. Is he handicapped? Just wondering.)
Anyhooo...why's everyone so grumpy? Life is good, isn't it?! I mean for those guys who did Paranormal Activity or Zombieland or who have careers on the upswing. GREAT MOVIES, huh? It's like they had their hand on the pulse of the American psyche.
I actually came here to say hi to Biscuits. Where is he? Anyone know? You remember, that top Hollywood executive with 15 years of experience that everyone learned a shyt ton with, even though he only posted like two dozen times? Where did he go??"
Bixnoffer.
HALP HALP I CANT SEEEEEEEEEEE MY POSTS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLPPPPPP ME BIXNOFFER UR MY ONLY HOPE
WOO HOO, BLOGGER IS BACK!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, Tucker Max is still a douchebag.
WHAT THE FRACK IS THIS MOCKEY MUSE POOP? WHY CAN'T I SEE THE FIRST PAGE OF COMMENTS?
hahahahahahaha
poop
he said poop
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
So how bout that there Tucker Max fella-guy?
I'm not your guy, friend.
I'm not your friend, fella.
I'm not your fella, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend.
I'm not your friend, fellow.
I'm not your fellow, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend.
I'm not your friend, fellow.
I'm not your fellow, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend.
Erin Leigh Tyler is a - oh, screw it
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
Sweet. So any news on Tuckers exit from Hollywood?
I know a girl that fucked Tucker. She said she feels sorry for him and she's never met a guy that's more lonely or who has no idea what its like to be an adult.
looks like mccoy has been abducted / murdered by the federal reserve / viacom
Seriously?
Why have sex with him then? Pity? Or did she get that impression as a result of the sex?
HIC IACET MCCOYIVS IN INSVLA AVALONIA
POASTER QVONDAM, POASTER FVTVRVS
I'm a 24 year old, modestly attractive female, and I have NO interest whatsoever in fucking Tucker Max; why the fuck do so many stupid cunts sleep with him?!!?
Anyone else wonder who constantly monitors this blog in order to get posts at the top of each page?
I'm genuinely interested in why you do it, TOTPG. (top of the page guy)
Well I'm today's TOTPG but I am by no means the only one - I'd guess I've gotten 15-30% of the "nice try" reposts, somebody else (or more probably multiple somebodies) has been doing most of them. I do it because I think it's funny, and chuckle to myself every time I see it. Which is the same reason I follow this whole thing in the first place.
I don't think a better reason is necessary.
Anyway this is a revolutionary art form that will take America by storm and only a complete nerdlinger who's never been properly socialized would even think of criticizing!
I'm a 24 year old, modestly attractive female, and I have NO interest whatsoever in fucking Tucker Max;
Well, I'm not Tucker Max, but I have no interest in fucking a 24 year old modestly attractive female whatsoever. My motto is go big or go home. Either fuck an absolutely smoking hot 24 year old female; or a grotesque pig 24 year old female. Too many guys think that they can't get the really hot chick so the moderately attractive 24 year old's get way more attention than they deserve. If you get a hottie, you'll have those memories forever and they usually are decent girls. The pigs will be grateful forever.
As an example of a moderately attractive girl, look no further than Kate Gosselin. That's what the moderately attractive 24 year olds become.
Good neg/dhv combo, but better applied in person. In anonymous blog comments, it's gratuitous dumping on ordinary people.
Save the imbecilic Roissy bullshit; I want to know how a flaming douchetard like Tucker Max manages to score so many girls.
Because the imbecilic Roissy bullshit works on most girls.
Correction; it works on insecure, emotionally damaged girls.
I've been TOTPG once or twice, and I did it over on Cockly's new blog once.
Barrybater had a great comment on mccoy over on IMDB:
"You know what? He vanished just as quickly as he came... it's like, his work is done, and now he waits in the shadows for the next d-bag to come along.
It's like... all along, mccoymountain was the silent watchman, keeping the streets clean and safe so that the rest of us could hate with confidence.
Like he was some kind of mysterious superhero... wow.
God bless you, mccoymountain... wherever you are. "
I'm just thinking that maybe Tucker isn't even the coolest one of his friends.
Wait, that actually completely explains the saga of Tucker and Bunny...damn.
And on that note, a fair warning to all Roissy acolytes; that neg shit does, in fact work. Be careful what you wish for, though...nobody embodies the "alpha male" persona (by Roissy's own admission) better than Tucker Fucking Max, and just look at how far it's gotten our boy!!!
Of course it does. And many women appear less emotionally vulnerable on the surface than they actually are. So applying imbecilic Roissy bullshit to women without distinction results in the non-vulnerable ones shrugging you off, the visibly vulnerable ones falling for it as expected, and the non-visibly vulnerable ones falling for it and everyone wondering "what is that hot babe doing with such a douchebag".
Being a Roissy-defined alpha isn't enough to have a worthwhile life. It isn't alphas that build civilization, they're too busy screwing.
Okedokes.
Act "alpha", be raging douchebag.
Still think Roissy is cool?
*ding* The More You Know!
Yeah, but guys, I don't think y'all are addressing the real root issue here- the one that, in my opinion, bears this whole thing out better than anything y'all have said (not that what you've said isn't valuable: is Tucker Max even the coolest one of his friends?
10:03, you're female? The whole point about Roissy - and particularly about disliking the point of view he advocates - is that it only exists, it only is made possible, BECAUSE women reward it.
If women don't like it, women have the power to put a stop to it.
So I'd suggest that your quarrel is not so much with the men doing this, as with the other women who go along with it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DswC-z15gCg
Check out Tucker's receding hairline in this video. His forehead is bigger than Nebraska.
and what's with the exaggerated, falsetto lispy girl-voice? Seriously- can you imagine this gay ass-master trying to flirt, or, God help us, talk romantically to a girl?
10:09, my real problem with Roissy isn't so much his manipulation techniques as it is his caustic, hateful remarks at women who have the audacity to reach their 30th birthday. It's rude, disgusting and completely uncalled for; giving shit back to manipulative cunts is one thing, but obsessing about the ravages of age is just kicking a defenseless little puppy.
And don't give me that bullshit about how it's completely natural to want younger girls and so forth; Roissy could be just as effective in his promotion of pickup techniques by omitting the needless references to women's age.
10:15, I agree with that.
Honestly he strikes me as a man who has completely given in to despair. Filter that out, and I find what's left still worth listening to.
"The whole point about Roissy"
Is pointless. Most of us had enough good times in college that we determined that once we were finished we didn't need to go trolling every weekend once we reached age 25.
The only girls you will find with those methods are pretty much emotional cripples and who wants that relationship.
10:18, I'll concede that it's worth listening to, as long as your intended purpose is solely to bang sluts (granted, that is usually enough to keep any guy happy). If, however, you intend on marriage at some point, such techniques will ultimately harm you in the long run, as the girls they snare won't make suitable life companions in the slightest.
10:19, THANK YOU.
By the way, Tucker Max is a douchebag.
Yeah, 10:19, good post.
It's also worth remembering at this juncture, that Nils is really fat.
Like, I mean, really, really fat.
Like Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man terrorizing the streets of NYC in Ghostbusters fat.
Like cutting a hole in the wall of your squalid apartment to extricate you with the jaws of life for emergency gastric bypass surgery fat.
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?postID=117436504077523328&blogID=21127102&isPopup=false&page=66
Roissy also apparently likes Tucker. This qualifies him as a douchebag and not to be listened to under any circumstances.
Like ingesting 10 buckets of KFC and washing it down with Starbucks Frappucinos on a daily basis fat.
10:37, HOORAY!!!!!!
You've reassured me that not all men are manipulative douchebags and have saved me from becoming a bitter old cat woman.
What I'm really trying to say is that Nils is mind-bogglingly fat.
Like using the motorized scooter at Wal-Mart to purchase foods consisting of trans-fat fat.
Like 'if Tucker's ego was a pie, he could eat THE ENTIRE THING' fat.
Like Leo DiCaprio's mom in What's Eating Gilbert Grape fat.
This will make everyone's day. Tucker put up a new thread where you have the privilege of voting for which premiere video you liked the best. We all know how "great" those videos are" and how his message board is currently blowing up due to all those posters with an "obsessive need to post about something," so get over there and vote!! I regret to say that because 'none of the above' wasn't an option for the time being I guess I'll have to be happy just obsessing and waiting for my next chance to post about something. It hurts, but don't cry for me...McCoy's back on IMDB and that makes me feel good inside.
Here's Tucker's post followed by a response so good he should have just closed the thread:
Tucker - So, we've been so busy with the movie, I kinda forgot about how great the premiere videos are. Since they are sort of a different beast than the movie, and since it is obvious that come of you have an obsessive need to post about something, regardless of what it is, I figured we might as well debate something someone might care about see which ones you guys liked the best.
All the videos are linked below, and you can vote above. I rigged it for multiple votes, so vote for you 1-5 favorite.
Buuuurps - Oh yeah, there really has been a tremendous desire among posters to discuss the merits of the various premiere tour videos as of late. That subject is clearly on everyone's mind. Good thing we finally have a place to discuss it...
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=881772#post881772
"Tucker - So, we've been so busy with the movie, I kinda forgot about how great the premiere videos are."
Yeah, like the time you called that girl a whore, or that other time you called another girl a whore, or there was that time you called another girl at another stop a "fat whore" and a "slut". Or the time Nils ate that girl for being a whore.
So many good times.
"Since they are sort of a different beast than the movie,"
and just as entertaining.
"and since it is obvious that come of you have an obsessive need to post about something, regardless of what it is, I figured we might as well debate something someone might care about see which ones you guys liked the best. "
Wait, I was there to show how much I didn't know about the film industry while simutaneously tell Tucker how awesome his art is. I NEED VALIDATION POINTS OR ELSE MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!!! Okay, I guess I'll list a top 5 and say how awesome they are and how funny and witty Tucker is while he says racist and sexist things even though frankly it's a one trick pony I got bored of after stop 2.
Tucker, do yourself a favor, if this is all you have left, kill yourself.
-TDG
Mccoymountain is also CuttingConfessions.
Or in which professional douchebag Tucker Max can, with a straight face, claim that he “got like 20 e-mails from women who were rape victims saying that, like, they supported me and loved my stuff, and they all had these stories, that were, like, heartbreaking, dude, because fucking rape sucks, dude, it’s not a joke.” (Touching, Tucker.)
p.s. Nils has sooo many sex stories, it's ridiculous. He could write his own 10 movies. Girls love nils so much!!! sexy time !!
McCoy is NOT CuttingConfessions. McCoy is wacko. CuttingConfessions is self-absorbed and boring.
Okay, I guess I'll list a top 5 and say how awesome they are and how funny and witty Tucker is while he says racist and sexist things even though frankly it's a one trick pony I got bored of after stop 2.
Deconstructing the TDG:
Tucker isn't in the videos except maybe once or twice, tardo mcfagface.
"Tucker isn't in the videos except maybe once or twice, tardo mcfagface."
Or is Tucker in EVERY video? You should watch them again, and pay more attention this time. Then you should pay $8 to see Tucker's movie. See it in theaters now and beat the rush to your local DVD store!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DswC-z15gCg
10:11 already posted this, but fast forward to 0:55 in.
I've never heard Tucker sound so gay..."You can jutht wear a condom or not have thex with girlth who have HERPETHHH"
LOL
"McCoy Mountain came on back from the dead,
Like immortal words still say all they said."
Let me tell you 'bout McCoy Mountain,
He was man, a Hamlet some would say,
Put on this earth to defend Truth's fountain,
To bring a renaissance and brand new day.
And they couldn't afford to let him be heard,
Like Socrates and Jesus, put to death,
Haters of truth and beauty, of the word,
Speaking douchebaggery with every breath.
Destroying the family, fatherhood,
Debauching the currency and culture,
Vampires sucking the blood out of the good,
Eying McCoy Mountain like a vulture.
But Truth owns the way of immortal light,
And as he rose they fell, without a fight.
Tucker just posted the complete week 3 list of theaters. Notably absent from that list is the AMC Empire 25 in Times Square, the theater that Tucker said was one of the two most successful and pulling in a 10K+ PSA (which is total BS, I saw the movie there opening weekend and there were around 8 people in the theater.)
This is one of the theaters that Tucker suggested could be carrying the movie for 3 months. HAHA
mccoy isn't wacko, he knows exactly what he is doing.
"mccoy isn't wacko, he knows exactly what he is doing."
-richard kelly
""mccoy isn't wacko, he knows exactly what he is doing."
-richard kelly" --richard kelly
That Mccoymountain poem is fucking awesome!
Any girl who has sex with Tucker Max is a dirty, dirty whore.
Erin Leigh Tyler is a -
Yeah, ok.
(and yeah, congrats to mccoy for writing it)
I'm a smoking hot 24 year old female and when guys attempt to use "negging" or other PUA techniques to hit on me, I take great pleasure in calling them out and ripping them to shreds in a way that leaves them feeling utterly humiliated and impotent. (I'm quite pleasant and friendly when approached in a normal, non-manipulative manner.)
Anyone else wonder who constantly monitors this blog in order to get posts at the top of each page?
I'm genuinely interested in why you do it, TOTPG. (top of the page guy)
not to sound cool, but i really was the first TOTPG back in 2007. I thought it was a funny rib back then, and i am amazed at the fact that there is someone out there whom actually monitors this for a new comment page to start so they can add that comment.
and all this time I thought that what i wrote back then just seemed to repeat itself on every new page. oh well.
I thwear to God, I got like 50 hundred emailth from girlth my fanth raped, and they're all like "rape ith never funny unleth Tucker Makth is raping me becauth heth tho awethome and thit. Cathe clothed.
"Tucker isn't in the videos except maybe once or twice, tardo mcfagface."
I'd rather watch a video of Tucker getting his herpes lanced then watch a video of his retarded fans forcing laughter to jokes they already know the punchline to.
Enjoy the infomercials, it's all he has left.
"smoking hot"
post tits or stfu
btw, I'm a racecar driver
"not to sound cool, but i really was the first TOTPG back in 2007."
Some Of You Have Been Here For Years ...
"but i really was the first TOTPG back in 2007."
Were you a fanboy back then? From your comment I would guess not.
I have been a TOTPG (Top of the Page Guy) a few times myself.
-YG
Here is the URL for the page with comment #6000 in case you want to read old comments. If someone else wants to go back further please do so.
http://tinyurl.com/lk56aw
450 screens? Not so much.
I actually wrote the third comment for this entry ("his tiny body parts, and his limp-wristed fighting style"). It brings back memories. I met him in person around that time, and he said he only wanted to talk to females and not dudes. I was pissed because I had bought his book.
I was so silly back then, still kinda am... I guess we all are *giggle*
Boy, I'm a hater, and even I had forgotten how utterly delusional Tucker was. Comparing to Twilight? Ha ha ha. People need to be reminded of that. RMMB koolaid drinkers (if there are any left) in particular.
Fanboy, identify yourself:
"Will any of you have the courage to admit you were wrong after September 25th?"
"But yes, I do wish it will fail, because if it does I expect the funniest things Tucker will ever write is posts about how it was everybody elses fault except his own."
-Prophet Hater, 6/16/09
"Nils and I went to look at planes this week. Dan at BlueStar jets picked us up and gave us a tour of their company. Five star treatment all the way, even flying us in a new Beech Jet 400A which seats 8 people comfortably. Rudius Air is now a real possibility.
One of Dan's partner's at BlueStar actually played college ball under Bobby Knight. The fact that he was impressed by me was staggering in light of his achievements both academically and in college sports. He knew of me because his daughter is a fan of my book. This brings up another demographic that few of the ardent critics care to admit; my readership is pretty much split 50/50, male/female. That is a huge factor for the domestic box office. More about that later.
Just received the mission statement for specific digital strategy for the film from Carrot Creative head Mike Germano. This is going to be huge. Bigger than Blair Witch; more effective than Snakes on a Plane.
On September 25th the rules in Hollywood will be tossed aside as a new way of film distribution rolls out. And no one will see it coming."
The only thing interesting about Tucker's movie would be if they actually did release a behind-the-scenes film (similiar to "Overnight") where you'd see Tucker giving directions or saying why a certain aspect should be done the way he wants, followed by a cut to an actual movie professional (producer, director, actor, random crew guy) telling the camera (a) why they're doing the way they are and (b) why Tucker's way is idiotic. Of course, any such film would run kind of long, like three times as long as Out of Africa, but I think the audience would appreciate that.
"On September 25th the rules in Hollywood will be tossed aside as a new way of film distribution rolls out. And no one will see it coming."
Well, he's right about that. The movie's been out for two weeks, and no one's seen it coming yet.
"It’s going to be funny to watch so many new people 'discover' Tucker Max. An overnight success, seven years in the making."
I can think of a few people who would rather 'rediscover' their missing $12m than 'discover' Tucker Max.
There's been a lot of bullshit charge about me and rape culture. Normally I let the haters think I'm ignoring them, all the while planning to call them out on my turf and on my terms. I'm going to address this right here and right now.
I love women. Most of my fans (not counting the dweebs and losers) are women. I'm also big fan of rape victims. Molestation and incest too. Many of my numerous sexual conquests were raped or molested. Fucking me helps them move on with their lives. They also support me. In fact, I just got this email:
From: [redacted]
To: Tugger Max
Subject: Rape victim supports you
Tugger,
I want to tell you that I am a woman and I fully support you. I know how it feels to be raped (especially after being your girlfriend for 3 fucking years) but I fully support you and your awesome movie. Those rape protesters need to chill out.
Love,
Bunny
PS -- Send my love to Maxie!
"but i really was the first TOTPG back in 2007."
Were you a fanboy back then? From your comment I would guess not.
Nah I wasn't a fanboy back then. I live in chicago and heard about his site in like '04, thought the stories were funny (I was 23, that's my excuse). Then I actually saw him out a few times in my neighborhood/at bars, and realized that this guy really didn't match up to the guy in the stories.
I'd fuck bunny's sister though, met her out. Her blog is just as much bullshit too, she is not that hot and not as desired as she pretends to be. Like tucker, it's just a shield to hide what she really is.
"But yes, I do wish it will fail, because if it does I expect the funniest things Tucker will ever write is posts about how it was everybody elses fault except his own."
-Prophet Hater, 6/16/09
Boy did that turn out to be true. It wasn't out for 3 seconds and it was..."Bob Gosse sucks, Darko was unprofessional, I didn't have enough PA money, blah, blah, blah"
i swear to god dude, i've received like 25 emails from girls telling me how masculine i am. even the rudius air flight co-captain commented on this.
quote of the day "no one will see IHTSBIH coming" TRUE THAT!
AWESOME! i just got banned FOREVER from Rudius for trolling!
Is Nils the fattest one of his friends, I wonder?
Is Nils the fattest one of his friends, I wonder?
10/07/2009 4:56 PM
________________________________
I do believe he's the fattest one of the humans. Like, the fattest one of ALL of them.
@ 3:14
TheTrixie's (Marnie Tyler) Facebook profile--
http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=marnie+tyler&init=quick#/profile.php?id=568921504&ref=search&sid=1910324.3602916521..1
Yeah, not exactly what I'd call smoking hot.
Wow, Marnie is pukie. That is not an attractive woman.
Now, for some hilarious evidence of soon-to-be-bankrupt Tucker Max screaming to anyone who will listen that...
wait for it...
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/11139
the movie is making him rich. Tucker was just so pwned by an undergrad...ouch.
~ FDG
ahhhhh, it's working
now, to read and catch up
brb
I'm one of Tucker's friends, and I'm cooler than him.
"I love women. Most of my fans (not counting the dweebs and losers) are women. I'm also big fan of rape victims. Molestation and incest too. Many of my numerous sexual conquests were raped or molested. Fucking me helps them move on with their lives. They also support me. In fact, I just got this email:
From: [redacted]
To: Tugger Max
Subject: Rape victim supports you
Tugger,
I want to tell you that I am a woman and I fully support you. I know how it feels to be raped (especially after being your girlfriend for 3 fucking years) but I fully support you and your awesome movie. Those rape protesters need to chill out.
Love,
Bunny
PS -- Send my love to Maxie!"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm not like most of you in that I used to look up to Tucker Max. Not for what he did in his stories, but for his attitude. Follow your dreams, live for yourself. Fuck what they think.
I've followed his message board for years, read the production blog, bought into all of it. Then I saw the movie.
It's like finding out Tyler Durden really can't take a punch, or seeing one of Howard Roark's buildings for the first time and realizing it is built horribly.
He can talk all he wants, his words can even inspire me on some level, but if he has no substance to back it up, then there is really no reason to pay attention to him anymore. Tucker, you are a liar and a charlatan. And deep down inside, you know it.
whoa, Marnie looks horrible.
the trixie.....yeah. looks like she got hit in the face with a bag full of nickels.
that facebook photo looks like a bad screenshot from a porn taken during the cumshot.
How long until one of the Mods points out that the emperor is stark naked?
I bet Tucker has done a Machiavellian move and got dirt on all his Mods/ potential whistle blowers so that they can't unearth anything from his web of lies. But I'm hoping we get at least one of them jumping ship and spilling his guts out of this.
LMAO, Tucker's movie isn't even good enough for Pirate Bay.
"......“1,” he began “I invented a literary genre. Two, I am richer than you will ever be, and three, these girls are waiting in line to [expletive] me.”
That's what most artists say.
Someone on this blog has fucked Marnie up the ass.
"Now, for some hilarious evidence of soon-to-be-bankrupt Tucker Max screaming to anyone who will listen that...
wait for it...
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/11139
the movie is making him rich. Tucker was just so pwned by an undergrad...ouch.
~ FDG"
That article was great! Tugger got owned by a kid!
According to Boxofficemojo, Tugger's movie took home $38k on Monday and $40k on Tuesday. The per screen averages on Monday and Tuesday were $170 and $193, respectively.
How much long can his film possibly remain in theaters if it is taking in less than $200 a day per screen?
Ad Hominem Attack Guy is an internet hero. Example: It's important to remember at this juncture that Nils is really, disgustingly fat.
Whenever I read that after a super serious post I laugh and laugh.
Three cheers for AHAG!
^
Stop fucking ruining everything with your fucking overanalyzing.
Do you feel smart after having pointed out the AHAG?
FUCK YOU. You're the reason we can't have nice things.
Geez, who are we going to pick on now that Tucker Max is thoroughly annihilated?
I'm downloading his book on Piratebay right now. Not so I can read it, just so I can seed it constantly and screw him out of the $1 per copy he gets or whatever.
i'm sure some military holster-sniffer like Tucker or Robert Greene, if he were on this side of the battle, would wax poetic about the beauty of the absolute silence following the complete and utter destruction you have wrought upon your foe.
Oh, but I guess there's a whimpering "But the DVD sales will be good. . ." floating on the breeze somewhere
http://www.insidevandy.com/drupal/node/11139
This is hilarious.
Look at the first picture...Tucker Max yelling, "Pay Attention to me!"
Sup haterz.
My imaginary friend is cooler than ALL OF Y'ALL's imaginary friends.
What is best in life? To crush Tucker Max, see him driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of his women.
-The Conan Guy.
So when do you think Tucker and his cronies will finally (if ever) admit defeat?
When Tucker is broke and homeless he still won't admit defeat. He's delusional.
Why would he admit defeat? He's making a shitload of money off this movie. We know this is true because Tucker Max said so, and he's obviously a reliable and unbiased source about matters relating to Tucker Max.
Interestingly enough, Christians make the same argument regarding the Bible when discussing questions of claims found in the Bible but not in any other contemporary historical sources.
The mod who deleted Biscuits postsis Gris. Gris is the epitome of a Tucker Max fanboy. His website is www.griffinwrites.com and it has comment sections after his posts. PLEASE TROLL HIS WEBSITE IT WILL MAKE MY DAY.
Gris is Griffin? Srsly?
JUNIOR DOUCHEBAG WIN
I thought griffin was geigs?
Why am I not surprised to learn that that Griffin guy is a RMMB mod?
Oh, wait, I know... Because that Griffin dude was almost as much of a douchebag as Tucker.
Been away for a while but let me see if I get this right.
Tucker's movie bombed horrendously, which is not even up for any debate at all. Yet he is still acting as if all is going to plan? Is this correct?
Pretty much.
There's a strong, strong denial phase going on.
He's now convinced himself it will be a success on DVD allowing him to make sequels.
No, look, here's what he's going to do, if and when he releases that book about the film -- more likely it will be a blog post, actually -- he'll act like he knew from the beginning that the film was going to suck because of the director and the production company, and that he deliberately made ridiculous hyperbolic statements and pompous production blog entries just so he could sabotage the whole project. Key entries will be deleted, and he'll pretend like he purposely acted stupid on Opie and Anthony just to start the ruination.
"How I Fucked Hollywood In The Ass" by Tucker Max
Fuck, I can't believe Gris is Griffin. Gris was one of the only mods I liked because he never seemed to give a shit about that gay messageboard. Whenever people were arguing about retarded things, he'd always write something totally nonsensical that made for lulz. He was also really nice over PM.
I just noticed he hasn't posted in two months.
Now that I know he's Griffin, I'll never be able to respect him again.
"Key entries will be deleted"
This has already started. I saw someone post on RMMB that they were looking at the old blog entries and noticed some were missing.
I believe there has been extensive discussion already of the fact that the archive structure changed so the links don't work but the posts are in fact still there.
Mark Ebner was right when he predicted that anyone with points on IHTSBIH was going to be rich.
Also, Charlie Hoehn saw how big this movie was going to be a year before it came out.
Tucker knew he'd have so much F.U. money that he and Nils began searching for private jets.
Wish I was joking about these statements from 'industry veterans' and 'visionairies' but that is not the case.
someone needs to post the Tucker/Troy Duffy interview on imdb!~
----- Tucker Max interview part 3 ----
(Tucker meets Troy Duffy)
Tucker: So you’re THE Troy Duffy as in “The Boondock Saints” Troy Duffy?
Troy: In the flesh, man.
Tucker: The Boondock Saints is one of my favorite films!
Troy: Mine too.
Tucker: I’m making a fucking movie as well. It’s awesome.
Troy: Is this your first time directing?
Tucker: I’m not directing, Bob Gosse is.
Troy: Who?
Tucker: He’s huge. Done tons of shit. Even came to our first meeting with a notepad.
Troy: Who’s starring in it?
Tucker: Matt Cuzychry!
Troy: Who the fuck is that?
Tucker: Guy has done tons of shit. Gilmore Girls and like 20 other things on TV. Will be a household name next year. Plus, he nailed me hard.
Troy: Well good luck, man.
Tucker: Listen, I don’t often do this… Since I respect you as a fellow “artist” and you seem to exude a certain fucking vibe that I can also respect, do you have any advice for me?
Troy: Whatever you do, DO NOT film or document the process on a daily basis. I had a film crew follow me around taking pictures and filming cast members, etc. The jealous assholes who did the filming edited the footage to make me look like and asshole after we had a falling out over them not understanding how fucking awesome I am. They released it as a film called “Overnight.”
Tucker: So DON’T film or document the process on a daily basis?
Troy: Never. Worst thing you can possibly do.
Tucker: Interesting take. Not one I fucking agree with. But, I’m Tucker Max, right?
Troy: Also, be very careful about claims you make prior to the film’s release. Never quote numbers. Never even promise a theatrical release. Confidence is one thing. But, looking like the biggest asshead on the planet is painful. Some of your actions can come back to haunt you.
Tucker: Any specific examples of like, things I shouldn’t fucking say?
Troy: Well, I once said… “As for my film career? Get used to it, 'cuz it ain't goin' anywhere. Period.” I also proclaimed that I was going to succeed "on a scale like never before". Also, I said that I had a “cesspool of creativity.” It’s all true, but jealous people might take it out of context.
Tucker: Yeah. People suck. But we have ways of controlling them that is like no other way ever invented in the history of the Internet or society.
Troy: Well, my problem was that I thought I knew more than everyone else – which I do. I created my own press and believed it. We faked script coverage. I pissed off a lot of people in Hollywood, including that dickbag Jew, Harvey Weinstein. Plus tons of other so-called powerful people. Burning tons of useless bridges. Fuck ‘em all, I say. I even called a very powerful female executive a “cunt.”
Tucker: …Well, was she?
Troy: Fuck yeah!
(Troy and Tucker chest bump)
Troy: I think my biggest regret was surrounding myself with an army of mindless ass kissing “yes” men who never called me on my shit. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe… Do you have a posse?
Tucker: Yeah. I have a company called Ruduis Media. We spam message boards and delete anything that makes sense or has relevant counter logic towards are goals.
Troy: Are they loyal to your artistic visions?
Tucker: Fuck yeahs! Watch this shit – (screams to kitchen) Nils, you fucking boxhead, run into the wall three times, NOW!
Nils: Yes, sir… (BAM!) Ohhw! … (BAM!) Ohhw! … (BAM!) Ohhw!
Troy: I’m impressed.
Tucker: The Boondock Saints went theatrical tho, and was huge on DVD so it looks like you got the last laugh, motherfucker!
Troy: Actually, the film was released on one screen and grossed 23 thousand dollars. I signed away the DVD rights so that I could make the movie. The budget was only seven million dollars. I mean who the fuck can make a movie on seven million dollars?
Tucker: …um… Any regrets?
Troy: Regrets? Fuck no. I have lived life by my own rules. I made one of the best movies ever made. The characters in my movie have never been done before in the history of modern cinema. Actually looking back now, everything went exactly as I had planned. I changed the whole system single-handily. I won. Hollywood lost. It was revolutionary!
(Tucker moves in closer to Troy)
Tucker: Can I like, fucking… kiss you?
Reporter: (coughs)… hhhurrummpphh -- Tucker, I’m still here.
(Tucker jumps back and composes himself)
Tucker: This is Troy motherfucking Duffy, dude. He also made a great fucking movie.
Reporter: I know who he is. I brought him here. And I just saw you try to kiss him.
Tucker: You are 100% wrong. Keep making stuff up.
Reporter: Scroll up like three inches. You said “Can I like, fucking… kiss you?” You even puckered your lips.
Tucker: Never happened. Your banned asshole!
(Troy looks at watch)
Troy: I’m off to Starbucks.
Tucker: I love their fucking Frapacinos!
Troy: I don’t drink coffee… but I need to be there by five for my shift.
Tucker: (to reporter) See that, you asshole. This motherfucker Troy made one of the greatest movies in history on his own terms and brought Hollywood to their knees! And now he is working for one of the most successful companies in the world. Eat shit, you fucking suit!
Reporter: How long do you think your delusional life will exist before it comes crashing down in flames like the Hindenburg?
(How will Tucker respond? STAY TUNED….)
"Stop fucking ruining everything with your fucking overanalyzing.
Do you feel smart after having pointed out the AHAG?
FUCK YOU. You're the reason we can't have nice things."
Ouch, my self esteem. Oh wait, I don't give a shit about how you want things to be. Fuck you, Shits On Everything Guy ... Three cheers for Ad Hominem Attack Guy!
I just saw a guy at Food Lion that convinced me, once and for all, Nils is not fat.
This guy's thighs were each bigger than his chest. His butt was like an independently semimobile object, while his belly was this huge lolling glob of fat, neither of these were particularly restrained by the worn sweatpants and tattered and holed t-shirt he was wearing. His arms were actually of relatively normal proportion, which is what made the gross deformity of everything below his nipples so shocking. He was sort of staggering along, leaning on his cart, his belly swaying loosely behind it.
Nils is not this fat. Nils is just big.
I should maybe also mention the tech support guy I knew 8 years back who was built like a walking 6-foot-wide beach ball, but I've tried hard to forget that and nearly succeeded.
There are degrees of fatness.
You have to get a college degree to be fat? Boy, learn something new every day.
fuck tucker max he deserves all this
he's such a tool, has he been down to earth at all during this whole thing?
and fuck all the people who were his followers, you are all the dumbest sheep on this planet
the funny thing is that if he had a humble bone in his body this wouldn't be that bad
but he's talking about how awesome his ideas are and how everyone is below him intelectually he completely shot himself in the foot
now he's 33 and he has nothing to show except for his book which no one cares about anymore. I read his book at the book store, just read the stories I haven't heard. what a waste of space
after seeing the clips this movie looks like trash.
Oh im tucker, look how brash and cocky I am. Yea this is what its all about people, being too cool for everything, how that working now?
haha please buy tickets even if you dont go. pathetic
even better is when people claimed he was a rapist. how did he react? did he react with candor and sorry to offend people? did he give a statement that this movie probably isn't for everyone and that its a joke?
no he claims how their stance is bullshit to begin with. what a fucking tool.
Dear Tucker,
I just passed the bar exam for my state. I'll bet you my next year's salary that 10 years out of law school, I'll have more money and more fans than you have 10 years after your graduation from Duke.
Lawyers suck. Go get an honest job, like stacking boxes for Wal-Mart.
Funny how Tucker closed the Outside Reviews of the Movie section once the Vanderbilt story got more publicity....
And by funny I mean pathetic
I wonder whether Tucker Max will eventually claim that he personally made several million dollars off DVD sales from "I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell."
What does Kungfu Mike have to say about Tugger's failure?
Keep fucking that chicken, Tucker.
"I wonder whether Tucker Max will eventually claim that he personally made several million dollars off DVD sales from "I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell."
DVD sales are verifiable.
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