The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 601 – 800 of 15917 Newer› Newest»ryan holiday is tucker's fluffer.
Ryan holiday is the cheezy white discharge dripping of tucker's crooked penis after fucking bunny up the ass.
Ryan Holiday is a jizz mop.
Ryan Holiday is the douchebag who writes amazon reviews for Color Book Land, but forgot to mention that he's paid to think it's funny.
10:50 p.m. seems to have hit the nail on the head. From his blog (http://rch.rudiusmedia.com/):
"The point is that, yes it really is that easy. Yes, the rest of the world really is stuck in a box. I remember a year or so ago I had an idea for a business venture and I pitched it to a friend. His response was "If your idea is as good as it sounds, someone would have done it already." Which of course is absurd, and I did it without him, made a good deal of money and solidified a relationship with someone that continues to benefit me enormously."
Gotta love that ambiguity.
what a cocksucker.
I am an ex poster on TMMB and I must say that reading the comments here make me want to go back and read some of the old threads. You guys give everyone hell for being fanboys and being repetitive, but you do the same thing here. Quite a conundrum if I do say so.
The fact of the matter is that Rudius media's alexa rating has gone down 45% in the past 6 months. It is a sign of the times. Tucker's 15 months of fame are up and he knows it. I will make a bet with anyone that within 3 yrs RMMB will be shut down, Rudius Media will file bankruptcy and Tucker will be a figment of our collective imaginations. I'm hoping anyway.
That's a good point. Tucker got popular by posting stories on his website, not by posting booty calls, not by pitching scripts in hollywood. His success stems from his website. Without new stories, he doesn't attract new eyeballs.
did you hear jamie kennedy yesterday on some show on howard 101 this past saturday??? HAHAHA i called in and asked him about how RRMB and how he liked working with the douche tucker. he had no answer.
PWN'ED.
"Well, I just got one of the Rudius authors a $150,000 advance on a new book, which makes the third six figure book advance, and seventh book deal that Rudius has gotten for it's authors.
It's going to be awesome...except I can't tell you who the deal is for, what the book is about, or even when it's coming out. That's actually part of the contract. You'll understand why the secrecy when the book drops."
Or, more likely, so that when it falls through, like everything else, it'll be easier for him to deny ever making the claim.
That sounds like a bunch of bullshit. And what happened to Tucker's pilot? Did that fall through already and he doesn't want to talk about it?
Comedic gold: their movies are all thru Pink Slip Pictures--lets see, what have they produced? A couple of straight-to-video low-budget productions. Tucker used to trumpet Max Wong as a top producer in LA until he got called on his BS---she is a nobody, same as him. And the Philalawyer Movie is "in development"; for those of you not from LA, "in development" is what almost every bus boy & waiter in Hollywood has for a project--it means nothing. Maybe, maybe 1 out of 1000 projects in development get greenlighted, and thats probably stretching it. And Max's movie that is "going out to studios in 2007"; that means that they have a script & thats about it---if these guys had any pull or name recognition than the studios would be bidding on the script--instead it is going to be flogged (with an option from Pink Slip--the opposite of a Michelin Five Star rating) to see if anyone out there wants it, so they can put it "in development".
Their entire spiel is just so laughable: $100k for a book advance? That works out to about $45k after taxes & agent %....for a project that will take about 1-2 years to complete & release. Most part-time jobs pay better than $22k a year. And they are trumpeting the $2 & $5k that their other authors received? As if this is some sort of accomplishment? Are they really expecting anyone to take them seriously?
What a complete douchebag. Accomplishments to date: getting a mention on the NY Times Also Selling List & subsequently bragging to anyone & everyone that he is now a NY Times bestselling author; landing a book deal for a $300k advance which, after taxes probably equals an annual income of about $60k per year, given that his next book isn't even released till Sept 08---2 1/2 years since the Beer in Hell one; had Comedy Central option a script--based on lack of noise from him since then, lets assume this project is DOA; and now is trumpeting that he has two scripts that are in development? Oh, and brokered a couple of book sales to one real publisher & a couple of rinky-dink rag producers. What an assclown. I really can't see how anyone would take this guy seriously---he has been working on this for what--six, seven years, and this is all he has accomplished---a couple of websites & a messageboard, and a book or two of drinking tales? And with all this, he is going to change the way the industry works. Brings a smile to my face everytime it comes up. What. A. Loser.
Mentioning a $2k advance doesn't help their image as hollywood/publishing dealmakers. On the other hand, we're talking about the bunny blog and coloringbookland. That shit isn't good enough for self publishing.
The "goes to studios" picture is probably the movie he's self financing because everyone else rejected it. Oops, I mean, because he's revolutionizing hollywood and no one else can realize his vision except F-list actors and a director who's only credits consist of ads on public access TV.
Don't forget about the Tucker Max tshirts and shot glasses. They'll revolutionize the way douchebags look like cocksuckers.
Fuck all you haters!
Name me one other Hollywood screenplay where a unicorn gets tasered.
(Crossroads doesn't count)
All Tucker has accomplished is a website and a message board, but don't forget that both are of inferior quality.
Anyone else notice that the Rudius Message Board is down to only 2-3 advertisers? I guess when your current demographic isn't old enough to have credit cards, advertisers aren't that interested.
How is that guy making money anymore?
he tricks some stupid hollywood executive-types that he's some sort-of youth sensation and they throw him a bone. how fucking long does it take to write the script for a 30-minute pilot?
this isn't really that complicated; tucker is not funny. his sense of humor is geeky and unoriginal. i guarantee that his script is filled with some of the lamest, hackiest, shit-quality jokes and gags you can imagine. this piece of shit which he and his butt buddy drunkasaurus rex (get it, like a dinosaur but "drunk" because he drinks a lot?) wrote in a week is supposed to be comic gold? fuck off.
Max's comedy central pilot has been rewritten as 45 minute interpretive dance project, to be broadcast in the fall.
Basically it's Tucker and Drunkasaurus Rex prancing around in pale blue leotards for three quarters of an hour. There are still jokes but you won't understand them unless you have read 'Wendell Phillips Before the Concord Lyceum' by Henry David Thoreau.
Apparently the actors who played Zack and Slater in 'Saved by the Bell' are in it.
actually, it's Dustin Diamond, aka Screetch.
Tucker Max: Tomorrow's punchline, today.
There's a thread up about Wikipedia on the message board. Might be a good time to make some corrections in Tucker's entry.
I was in LA last week and I met Tucker at a bar. After a few beers he started accidentally touching my hand more often. He kept insinuating that we head back to my hotel room for a night cap. I kept rejecting his advances and telling him that I wasn't that type of person.
He finally got the point and left in a huff. Not before he gave me his card and told me that if I changed my mind to give him a call and he would rock my world.
I'm a guy. Tucker is Gay
this site sure has gotten quiet lately!!!! you homos are probably all busy with WoW or jerking off on second life.
idiots.
~jlgolson
Keep thinking about Tucker Max. You're hate is like pure delicious energy. You can measure a mans greatness by how big a stable of faggot ass haters he has. Welcome to the stable haters.
OK, I've got my vacation plans figured out. First, a short flight to Camp Pendleton, where I'll hang around local bars asking women if their men work in the base. Then I'll do anything I can to have sex with as many Marine Wifeys as possible. I figure if they can be puppets for a corrupt government that thinks of them as "meat for the grinder" then I can have my way with their slutty wives, guilt free.
Then its all the way across the country to Quantico. Where I'll not only fuck Marines wives on a daily basis...BUT By then I will have contracted the clap, and will be sure to share it with as many Marine wives and daughters (of legal age) AS POSSIBLE.
Then its just a short trip to Camp Lejeune where I can fuck more marine wives and release into the breakfast cereal before I make a fast break out the door....ON MY WAY TO!!!!
Thats right! Beautiful Hawaii, where I will LAY as many Marine wives as I can! They can sample MY poo poo platter, thats for sure! Mahalo!
Finally back to the good ol' continent and more Marine wives in Yuma, Arizona. Those boys may be dyin', but so am I...FOR SOME MARINE WIFE LOVIN!
From the halls of Montezuma To the shores of Tripoli,
We fight our countrys battles In the air, on land, and sea,
First to fight for right and freedom , And to keep our honor clean,
We are proud to claim the title Of United States Marines.
Our flags unfurl'd to every breeze From dawn to setting sun.
We have fought in every clime and place Where we could take a gun.
In the snow of far-off northern lands And in sunny tropic scenes,
You will find us always on the job - The United States Marines.
Here's health to you and to our Corps Which we are proud to serve;
In many a strife we've fought for life And never lost our nerve.
If the Army and the Navy Ever gaze on Heaven's scenes,
They will find the streets are guarded By United States Marines.
"this site sure has gotten quiet lately!!!! you homos are probably all busy with WoW or jerking off on second life.
idiots.
~jlgolson"
Not all of us get paid to troll the comments section here, dumbass.
Speaking of homos, what with Bunny, Tucker, and Ryan Holiday all living together, it's a veritable sausage fest. I wonder if ryan gets jealous when bunny bottoms for tucker? I bet he does.
The blogs over at rudius media are horrible. Have you seen Jamie Kennedy blog? He just posts a lot of random shit from his diary that really doesn't have much of a purpose.
"anonymous said...
"this site sure has gotten quiet lately!!!! you homos are probably all busy with WoW or jerking off on second life.
idiots.
~jlgolson"
Not all of us get paid to troll the comments section here, dumbass."
Shit, I don't even work for him anymore. And I sign my shit.
jlgolson is the littlest Rudius. Nobody likes him and he still defends Tucker.
proof that rmmb douchebags DO indeed visit this site!
I would not doubt that the king douche himself eagerly has this on RSS and makes anon posts up here.
It's Marine Guy!!!!
talk about paranoia (and realizing that the 15 minutes are almost over).
Not all of us get paid to troll the comments section here, dumbass."
Shit, I don't even work for him anymore. And I sign my shit.
7/03/2007 12:22 AM
He stopped fellating you, shit-for-brains?
This place is full of Tucker-Lovers like jlgolson, who vicariously live thru the fake Tucker Max stories. I'm sure you know all about Internet geeks and drinking, jlgolson. Still pretending to be an expert on absinthe and everclear, you fucking dweeb?
Congratulations on not working for him anymore. How long did it take to realize he was full of shit?
Jordan Golson stroked his flacid cock furiously. "Tucker", "Tucker", the words quietly escaped from his lips. But even his muse couldn't bring him to attention. Dejected he gave up and wiped his spit laced hand on the underside of his pillow.
He was drunk. Tucker Max drunk. Tucker Max... Like many impressionable and lame fans, he spent lonely nights reading his exploits, imagining himself hooking up with drunk girls instead of masturbating to German scat porn. His obsession grew until he started wondering what it would be like to be one of the girls, fucked by tucker max.
That night he sent an email to Tucker, volunteering his web skills. To his surprise, Tucker accepted. There was no pay of course, but he got a sneak peek at Tucker's literary masterpieces before the rest of the world.
A few months later, he finally met Tucker.
"I really love your stories, man", Jordan told him.
"Yeah, that and a vagina will get you laid", Tucker responded, drinking down a gin and tonic.
"Have you ever done a guy?"
"Not intentionally", he said, eying a pregnant redhead with ample sweatermeat.
"But would you?"
"Not again. Well, Maybe if he didn't have a nutsack. I need new material for the next book."
"So If I cut off my nuts, would you fuck me up the ass?"
Tucker looked at him for a minute. "Sure, whatever. I gotta take a piss and fuck that prego. Not in that order."
He got up and left Jordan to pay the tab. Jordan didn't mind.
---
Three weeks later, the required psychiatric sessions were done and Jordan's castration was complete. Although his taint was still tender, he loved the look (and feel) of his shaved, ball-free crotch.
Taking the subway to visit Tucker, he had a hard time hiding the biggest erection of his life. Pre cum has thoroughly soaked his shorts by the time he buzzed up to see Tucker.
"What's up man, you wanted to see me?"
"Yeah", Jordan said, "Check this out."
He dropped his pants and pulled back his erect cock to reveal the scar where his family jewels once hung.
Tucker stared for a moment.
After what seemed an eternity, he called out "Hey Luke, get in here."
Luke walked in from the bedroom, wearing leather crotchless pants and a ball gag in his mouth. Where his cock and balls had once been, now only a scar served as a reminder that he wasn't a born nullo.
Jordan cried.
^^^Best Tucker Max story. Ever.
Note to jlgolson: why are you no longer working for Tucker? This is an honest question. I admit its not the best place to do this, but I was hoping you might provide some actual feedback.
And that house with Bunny, Tucker and Ryan holiday just may be the epicenter of delusional self-importance in the universe.
There is no house with Bunny, Ryan Holiday and Tucker.
Give me a fucking break.
who is ryan holiday anyway? i stopped reading tmmb a while ago.
is he some young tmmb protege/ass-kisser or something? you guys keep referring to this person.
Tomorrow, I move in with Tucker Max. -- Ryan Holiday, June 2007
Here's the sitch. I was living in New York, and now I'm living in Hollywood in a three bedroom house with my ex-boyfriend that I complain about all the time--yeah, yeah, yeah...I know--and his personal assistant JW.
...
He let's me live in his three bedroom in Hollywood ...
-- Bunny, June 5th, 2007.
Gotta love this quote from Bunny's comments section:
"You, Tucker, and this new personal assistant are going to have a drubjen threesome, I'm calling it now.
Posted by: Frebis at June 5, 2007 11:12 PM"
Hahaha. And isn't tucker like 32? And he needs to have two roommates just to afford a place in a crappy part of town?
You guys have no idea the wrath we are going to bring down before all of this hating is over.
pussies.
~KFM
And I will capture all of the totally awesome pwnage in one of my creative, unique "Youtube video of the day" posts. Beware the impending wahoo!
~KFM
HAH I can't say I'm surprised that all of the RMMB visits this site to see that people talk shit about them.
Hey Kunt Fu Mike: Is Jaime Kennedy going to star in the upcoming lol funny "I Hope They Think Up A Better Movie Title"?
And if not, is this because:
1) He thinks it's a piece of shit
2) Tucker thinks he's a piece of shit
3) All of the above
Why can't the self important Max just do a Maddox. Maddox knew when he had milked it for all it was worth and then just walked away. Not Max he needs the payoff the money the fame the crowning jewel of Biggest douchebag ever. He has already achieved the biggest douchebag award what else can even dream of accomplishing?
He is destine to achieve that creepy old guy at the bar that says lame pick up lines to the female bartender (male or female doesn't matter). He will be the cliche's of all cliche's.
Tucker if you haven't achieved greatness by the time your 30 it's time to switch gears. You are out of touch with the main stream. You have scene your day in the dimly lit sun. It's over! MTV doesn't want you, so you slam them, mainstream media doesn't want you, so you slam them too. Hollywood doesn't want you (AGAIN!!) so you'll slam them. The company that signed you to a book deal, when your book fails you'll slam them too.
Boo Hoo my publisher wouldn't give me creative freedom (because they knew your writing was crap). They wouldn't promote my book (because promotion cost money and they already lost a shit load on you). Ect..
Call your Daddy now. He might give you another chance. That way in a few years when I'm in S.Florida and your filling my water glass I can laugh at you and say "Hey your tucker max and your an asshole"
Oh, for fuck's sake. Learn proper grammar first. It's you're not your. I hate that.
Keep thinking about Tucker.
"Anonymous said...
Keep thinking about Tucker."
You're worse than marine guy.
Quick question: by continuing to think about Tucker, are we helping him support his extravagant lifestyle? You know, the one that affords him a three-bedroom slum in a bad part of town that he shares with his psychotic ex-girlfriend and his syncophantic intern?
"Quick question: by continuing to think about Tucker, are we..."
Wasting precious moments of life? Yes, thats exactly what you are doing.
Continuing to keep attention on Tucker and giving his name undue circulation?
Yes, thats exactly what you are doing.
e-phellating Tucker Max?
YES, thats exactly what you are doing
Tucker makes Ryan Holiday suck his cock while Bunny fucks him in the ass.
"think about tucker"
ok, now what? "Thinking about tucker" does nothing for his wallet, it's not like it will make me go to the site and click on some shitty ad for fake absinthe or some lame cafepress tshirt.
All of the threads on his msg board are basically recycled versions of thread from years ago, when the site was not filled with 14-17 yr olds who "get it" (hah!) and truly see how creative (hah! again) tucker is.
FOCUS: how fucking sad is it to see all of those idiots that want to be like tucker use the "FOCUS" term in their posts?
Maddox rarely updates his site yet he gets a ton more traffic than tucker max.
The only thing that would even be remotely funny would be if a bunch of girls all made tiny holes in condoms before they allowed his micropenis to penetrate him. Now that's when "hilarity would ensue".
Time is almost up!
Keep talking about Tucker Max.
The "keep thinking about Tucker Max" idiot is most likely TM himself, trying to negate all the negative energy by putting himself in the position of power. He reminds me of that loser band member from the movie Singles, where every negative review just gives him more energy.
I have no doubt that TM checks this board daily, if not hourly.
One of the previous posters had the best comment--if TM is so successful & powerful, why is he living in a 3 bedroom POS house in a sketchy part of LA w/2 roomates, one of whom is his ex-girlfriend who obviously has co-dependency issues? Isn't that what you do after college, not when you are 30+?
I guess most powerful LA film/tv producers live in squalor & not in Malibu/Brentwood/Bel Air/Beverly Hills? My bad.
What. A. Loser.
Tucker thinks this blog is publicity for him, when in fact the opposite is the case.
He also thinks we are "e-phellating him". That's because narcissists believe anyone who hates on them is just jealous.
i looooove it that tucker now peruses this site and leaves his own fantastic comments. at first i thought, ya know, tucker would probably ignore this site once he discovered it, thinking it stupid and half-assed anyway.
but nope, tucker is actually bothered by this site and now posts on it. his little wittle ego is actually damaged!
classic! kudos tucker! kudos!
Tucker claims 5 figure monthly revenue from his website alone. Consider that, then look at Bunny's pictures and description of his apartment.
5 figure monthly from his site??
WOW, think of all of the basketball shorts and white t-shirts you could buy with all that money!!!!1
Not to mention all the burritos and extra cheese pizzas he can buy to eat away the sorrow of having his comedy central pilot rejected, his movie script rejected, and to mask the taste of sucking up to jaime kennedy.
Tucker must be kidding. Five figures per month from click-through advertising? For the poorly-defined demographic that visits his site? Looks like alcohol took its toll on Tucker's brain.
Then again, given the adolescents and effeminate hero worshippers on his site, maybe it was just more self-congratulatory crap to keep them thrilled with his presence.
OK, its homework time... I want you guys to come back to this board at least once (extra credit for twice) each day and allow your mindset to be changed by a post that you see here, then think of a witty unsubstantiated comeback and post it. Proceed to tell yourself that you not only totally dissed that guy but that the guy was Tucker Max himself (!) this will give you that sense of achievement, as if you had actually accomplished something. Then just curl up in a fetal position. I'll eventually post something else that will rile you and we can begin again. Wait for my cue.
Who is really riled? Any of us, or you?
You talk about "unsubstantiated comebacks", "dissing guys", and being "riled", but all of that can be said for you more than any of us.
^
And the Grand Prize will be a used Tucker Max Signature Butt Plug, licked clean by yourself.
^^^that is DEFINITELY Ryan Holiday.
Along with other duties, one vital task is keeping tucker's buttplugs nice and clean.
Ryan Holiday is such an impressionable dolt. Tucker is creating a mini Tucker.
Ryan's isn't just a loser.
He's a Tucker Max loser.
OK, you've all done fairly well. You all followed instuctions, which is pretty much what I *expect*. You all get passing marks for this session.
The next part of your syllabus indicates that you will have to post something inane. For extra credit (a repeat from last week) tell one another how sure you are that I am somebody Tucker knows (!). It could be anybody. Be Creative! I really hope you can post something that tells the world, "I am a little too obsessed." After I review your work we can have some discussion about new ideas and talk about how we'd like to develop further.
^
Congrats! You won your Tucker Max Signature Series Butt Plug. Knock yourself out this weekend, Ryan.
Why does he giggle like a girl when he says "buttsex"? And who uses the term buttsex anyhow? It's something I'd expect from a hill billy named Cletus. Anal. Greek. Hell, even "packed her shit chut with my red headed roto rooter" would instill more credibility than "buttsex (teehee!)".
It's funny to hear him tell it, but it's also completely unbelievable.
Most fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." Tucker's begin with "True story..."
if you guys have so much proof about tucker, why don't you post something instead of acting like an idiot.
oh that's right, you have no proof other than what this fraud "Cockly McBeefwell" posts every 4 months.
~bcwoods
So tucker max is sliding into obscurity. But how will it end?
* AIDS
* Bunny goes psycho, cuts off his dick
* Ryan Holiday goes psycho, cuts off his dick
* Jailed for sexual assault/rape
* Killed by jealous husband/boyfriend
* dies of sexual impalement/auto erotic self asphyxiation, etc
* run out of money, moves in with dad, works as a waiter
Not with a bang but with a whimper.
http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/1348/page/the_beast_fucks_a_hapless_creationist.html
This site is about ten thousand times funnier than anything that TM & crew have put together in the last five years.
Think about tucker.
When you wake up, think about tucker.
When you are living your miserable life all day, think about tucker.
Before you go to bed alone at night, think about tucker.
Dream about being tucker.
But don't stop thinking about tucker.
see! there's that loveable "think about tucker" guy again!
i stop by this site whenever i wanna see a little tucker max bashing. this tucker guy is a funny little train wreck of a douche.
now we got this "think about tucker" guy throwing a hissy fit over the whole thing. its awesome!
and yes, buddy, you're throwing a hissy fit in that last post. cheers!
"Think about guy",
Think about the "Tucker Max is a douchebag blog"
Think about posting there everyday.
Think about it in the morning.
Think about at night.
Think about when you check it 10x a day to see if anyone responded.
Think about it in your everyday, empty life.
Think about the TM douchebag blog!
"Think about guy",
Think about the "Tucker Max is a douchebag blog"
Think about posting there everyday.
Think about it in the morning.
Think about at night.
Think about when you check it 10x a day to see if anyone responded.
Think about it in your everyday, empty life.
Think about the TM douchebag blog!
I think about tucker everytime I see a douchebag. I think about tucker everytime I see man tits. I think about tucker everytime I see a drunk hitting on a fat chick.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA -
Well that was easy. "A" for the semester fucktards. It's too easy to play with the emotions of a bunch of women! LOL!
Oh, and also
THINK ABOUT ME
Think about tucker.
When you wake up, think about tucker stealing a goat from an Ethiopian village. The 30 cents that you generously sent to the villagers every month to pay for the goat, belong to tucker now. In goat form.
When you are living your miserable life all day, think about tucker as he books the script for his Comedy Central pilot into rehab, where it will be treated for an undisclosed prescription drug addiction.
Before you go to bed alone at night, think about tucker as he serves the homeless of L.A. with steaming mugs of hot cocoa, spiked with powerful laxatives.
Dream that dream in which you and tucker argue over who owns the gayest unicorn.
But don't stop thinking about tucker. In return tucker promises that he will won’t stop thinking about you and that you will be his TBFF (Third best friend forever).
It absolutely slays me that TM is such a loser that he constantly rechecks this site to see what has been said about him, and then sends his minions here to try & spam the place in the hopes that they will be so annoying that nobody will pay attention anymore.
Marine guy spam + Think About Tucker spam are of the same banal thought process.
Ever wonder why TM doesn't post anything on his own page anymore? He doesn't want to be further publicly ridiculed.
Tucker, you failed at being a lawyer, you failed at the military, you've failed at every personal relationship you've ever had, you live in a shitty rental house in a shitty part of LA. You are a loser. Deal with it.
Keep thinking about Tucker.
You cannot stop thinking about Tucker.
I think about tucker everytime I turn on comedy central and watch another episode of the uproariously funny tucker max show.
I just got done thinking about tucker max. I went to taco bell for lunch, so it was an extremely smelly tucker max. bunny would have been proud.
Check out the brand-new companion site, Rudius Hater: http://rudiushater.blogspot.com/
Rudius Hater? What an enlightening choice of name.
I like that you don't feel you can actually do anything against TM or any Rudius employees so you pick on beta posters from the message board instead. How bold.
~Hilary Clinton
Hilary,
I keep forgetting that regular posters on the message board lack the basic skill of reading comprehension.
Regarding the beta poster I "picked on," well, like I said here:
"He doesn't even crack the top ten of RMMB's worst member list, but he's an easy target for a first post."
He was just an easy first target. I'll write about the rest of them later, when I have some time on my hands.
This site has officially jumped the shark.
"some are borderline insane (Marine Guy, think about Tucker Guy, I'm looking at you)"
While I agree with you let me clarify something. When I started reading the comments section of this blog while at work it really piqued my interest. Why? Because just recently I read, "I hope they serve beer in hell" and while I thought it was actually pretty funny it is pretty obvious that the stories are either totally false or total exaggerations. So to find a whole group of people obsessively going over details of the stories. Talking about Tucker constantly and all the other crazy shit that goes on throughout this blog, I had to read it all. It was just too wierd and I became highly entertained with it. Escpecially when certain themes started arising in this very long thread that seemed like evidence of some kind of psychosis. Marine guy was the begininning of this because when someone would post something telling him to shut up or making fun, then that person was not just some random schlub, like me, who is sitting bored at work, he is Tucker, or Sumner Redstone, or someone at Rudius, or so everyone accused. This was kinda fascinating, and it seemed like a lot of people really believed that. I even thought so, until I start using "Think about Tucker" posts to try an ellicit a response. Then I got accused of the very same thing. Soon after, even marine guy got called out as a Tucker plant of sorts. Everything is conspiracy, everything is personal and right there, and active and alive. How fun, to take part for a while. I'm not really that big a fan of Tuckers, though I did think the book was funny. I started doing the "Think about Tucker" thing to see if any of the hardcore people would think, "Hey, you know what? I do think about Tucker alot. He does make me more angry than is warranted. Wow, I sure did get carried away." But that didn't really happen. What I noticed was that I was coming here almost as much as them, lol, even though its for completely different reasons...Tucker is their obsession but for a second there, they were mine. Anyway, I'm going back to huffingtonpost.com, those people are more fun to fuck with. Oh yeah, some of you I know will stay here, this is your home now, Think about Tucker.
^
This blog depends on Tucker. Since Tucker has lost popularity, it is just stagnating.
Tucker jumped the shark when he allegedly fucked a midget. He exposed himself as contrived and unfunny. This blog became unnecessary, as Tucker did more damage to himself that night than a tranny with a 18 inch dildo.
I guess the reason that some people assumed the "Think about Tucker" guy was a rudius plant is because rudius people really do come here, make threats, try to make fun, etc. They are pathetic people, and I wouldn't put a "think about tucker" post past any of them.
I gotta agree with the above analysis. "I'm not an alpha male, but I play one on my website" -- Tucker Max.
Listen up assholes, TUCKER FOUND THE VIDEOTAPE. Now all you losers can shut the fuck up about Tucker not being able to find the videotape of him banging the chick in the ass.
Don't believe me? We've put it online:
http://www.meatspin.com/
Hey everybody! I just got some preview chapters from tucker's new book (assholes finish first). Enjoy!
Chapter 1:
I'm going to be in East Orange New Jersey visiting my buddy Brown Hole next week. Send me an email if you're a hot girl that wants to fuck.
Edit: If you're a dude, I know I'm funny. I know I changed your life. I know you get tucker max drunk every weekend. Leave me alone.
Chapter 2:
I've been busy working on the untitled movie script #3. So busy, in fact, I've run out of toilet paper. Any chicks in the LA area that want to score me some, send me an email. I'll also entertain suggestions from girls with good rimjob technique.
Edit: Fucking stop telling me that I can go down to piggly wiggly and buy charmin. Do you think I'm stupid? I'm tucker max. Girls buy me toilet paper because I'm awesome.
Chapter 3:
I'm going to the burger king at the corner of Montgomery street in a couple minutes. Any hot cashiers that want to suck me off in the bathroom, let me know.
Edit: Dudes: nothing personal, but if I don't know you, I don't want to. Don't ask me if I want fries with that.
it's pretty sad if marine guy is actually bcwoods. what a boring, talentless hack.
There are now 2,482 instances of the phrase "called out."
The phrase is now used almost as much in conversation as "like" and "actually."
Soon they will all take over the 'cool things to do or say' category, which is currently held by 'driving on a cellphone.'
I don't keep up with the rudius "writers". I sampled their crap a few months ago. Pathetic amateurs.
Yes, that's right.
Keep thinking about Tucker.
^
Tucker's ratings are taking a beating. Go tell your buddy to fuck a drunk tranny this time. He needs the traffic, or your anus will hurt from him saving on Astroglide.
I'm the original "Think about Tucker" guy and I kind of take exception to the "7/11/06 7:06 pm guy". He's totally trying to front...and steal my flavor.
"some are borderline insane (Marine Guy, think about Tucker Guy, I'm looking at you)"
While I agree with you let me clarify something. When I started reading the comments section of this blog while at work it really piqued my interest. Why? Because just recently I read, "I hope they serve beer in hell" and while I thought it was actually pretty funny it is pretty obvious that the stories are either totally false or total exaggerations. So to find a whole group of people obsessively going over details of the stories. Talking about Tucker constantly and all the other crazy shit that goes on throughout this blog, I had to read it all. It was just too wierd and I became highly entertained with it. Escpecially when certain themes started arising in this very long thread that seemed like evidence of some kind of psychosis. Marine guy was the begininning of this because when someone would post something telling him to shut up or making fun, then that person was not just some random schlub, like me, who is sitting bored at work, he is Tucker, or Sumner Redstone, or someone at Rudius, or so everyone accused. This was kinda fascinating, and it seemed like a lot of people really believed that. I even thought so, until I start using "Think about Tucker" posts to try an ellicit a response. Then I got accused of the very same thing. Soon after, even marine guy got called out as a Tucker plant of sorts. Everything is conspiracy, everything is personal and right there, and active and alive. How fun, to take part for a while. I'm not really that big a fan of Tuckers, though I did think the book was funny. I started doing the "Think about Tucker" thing to see if any of the hardcore people would think, "Hey, you know what? I do think about Tucker alot. He does make me more angry than is warranted. Wow, I sure did get carried away." But that didn't really happen. What I noticed was that I was coming here almost as much as them, lol, even though its for completely different reasons...Tucker is their obsession but for a second there, they were mine. Anyway, I'm going back to huffingtonpost.com, those people are more fun to fuck with. Oh yeah, some of you I know will stay here, this is your home now, Think about Tucker.
"Write Tucker's celebrity rider
-----------------------------------
I am going to be in a celebrity poker tournament in LA later this month. I am going to send a bullshit rider to the tourney organizers full of absurd requests I'm thinking of something along the lines of the following conditions:
- Dealers are not allowed to make eye contact with "The Talent"."
So many questions. How desperate are the people behind this tournament that they invite Tucker in as a celebrity? Why does he think they would abide his rider at all, ridiculous or not? They're doing him a favor, not the other way around.
Are these (https://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=16378) really the best he can come up with? Awful.
He refers to himself as the talent. What, exactly, is his talent? Lying? Creating a fake internet persona? Giving it hard to Ryan Holiday?
FOCUS: What is Tucker's talent, and why does he deserve to be in this tournament?
will it be televised?
^^^^^
The revolution will NOT be televised. Idiot.
Revolution?
Go get your shinebox.
Can anyone tell me which story Bunny tries to kill herself in?
I thought whoever wrote the "internet celebrity poker tournament" post was being sarcastic. Not even Tucker could be that egotistically blind, lame, and hard-up for cash.
I overestimated Tucker. Here's the whois entry for InternetCelebrityPoker.com:
Registrant:
Tucker Max
319 Lafayette St
#131
New York, New York 10012
United States
Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: INTERNETCELEBRITYPOKER.COM
Created on: 03-Aug-06
Expires on: 03-Aug-08
Last Updated on: 13-Sep-06
Administrative Contact:
Max, Tucker tuckermax@gmail.com
319 Lafayette St
#131
New York, New York 10012
United States
(800) 555-1212
The interest poker tournament idea was destined for failure. The marketing was silly and myopic (just Rudius Media types). But it probably didn't matter anyway, as the Fed clamped down on Internet gambling.
Is that Jordan Golson the same dweeb who wrote something about not working for Tucker anymore? Maybe he got tired of being a human toilet or something.
http://tuckermax.stumbleupon.com/archive/30/
Humiliating
Last night Tucker blew me off. Again.
I went insane. I cut off all my hair with kitchen scissors like Frida Khalo. Today I examined the fallout (actually quite cute and flippy. I am good at everything). I also thought, “Bunny… there is something terribly awry. Why are you so angry? Why have you become a bitter and horrible person since you met Tucker?”
Today, while I’m working, Tucker is hovering over me asking me the same question.
I have decided to make an itemized list of reasons why I might want to cut off all my hair like a rape victim.
[Note: This is truly humiliating. If anyone were to make a medicine to cure low self-esteem, I’d take it in spades; I’d do the 10k walk for closet self-loathers, and wear the empty wine bottle lapel pin. I wish to God these FACTS were fabricated or embellished, but the awful truth is that they are not. I only hope this helps the other girls who don’t like themselves].
What it is like to date Tucker Max…
-You will get fried chicken for your birthday. Later that night when you both go to a bar, you will want a diet coke, but won’t get one because that is one less beer that he can drink.
-He will hang up on your favorite aunt, and be stunned when you get upset that he referred to your mother as “that fucking bitch” because she called you at a late hour.
-He will scream at you because you don’t like the instant coffee he bought you.
-He will never kiss you, and barely fuck you, even if you beg him to for months. You are now the Virgin Mary. He will still try to coerce crazy whores into coming to Chicago to fuck him. He will kiss them because they are whores, and don’t you know that you’re only supposed to give good passionate sex to women that you don’t know or give a shit about? I didn’t know that either.
-He will make sure you know that you aren’t very hot, only sort of cute, and that your head is too big for the rest of your body. You also have unattractive dark circles under your eyes and your tits are too small. He will never compliment you.
-You will be bi-sexual and okay with him sleeping with other women, but this will not be enough. He needs freedom.
-If he is an insensitive asshole to you, it is only because you are selfish. You should understand that his parents sucked and now you have to pay for this. How this is logical, I’m not really sure.
-When he has major surgery you will not leave his side. You will spend day night waiting on him hand and foot, making sure he is comfortable and well cared for. You will even wipe his ass when he takes a shit. Later he will tell you that it was all unnecessary. He didn’t need or want you to be there.
-When he is supposed to pick you up and take you to a party, he will get black-out drunk and fuck some girl instead of showing up.
-He will tell you he loves you and wants to have children with you. When you then get pregnant, he will say that he has about two to four more years of drinking and whoring left to do, so a baby isn’t in the cards. He will coerce you into an abortion by threatening to give away your dog if you try to have the child. Then he will be evasive so that you will be forced to dump him and he can get off scot-free.
-When you get upset about this, he will tell you that you are over-emotional. When you try to explain how this hurts, he will ignore you till you find yourself screaming and breaking things. He will explain these outbursts to his drinking buddies as so: “Yeah she’s fucking crazy. She flips out on me like every third day.”
-When you go to stay with your parents (read: bawl day and night) for two weeks, he will fuck other women in your bed. The night you return he will try to go out with a whore he’s just met and wonder why you’re upset about that. He needs his freedom.
-When you are at your parents, he won’t take your calls. Instead he will spend his time e-mailing some whore. Later, he will not stop e-mailing this same whore, because all whores come before your feelings even if the whores are half as attractive and barely capable of forming cogent sentences.
-When his ex-girlfriend dies and then comes back to life, you will nurse him through the depression. You will even be fine with her coming to stay at your own fucking apartment so that he can decide which of you he wants. This is so that you can be fair to both of them because you are a good person… unlike them.
-Later on you will catch him telling this covert bitch who pretended to be nice to you that he is only keeping you around because you are willing to support him financially. They will laugh at you behind your back for being “over-emotional.” Oh how silly you are!
-When Tucker bounces back from his depression you will not be needed anymore. You will just hand over the keys to his car and not say a word when he drives it all over Chicagoland while black-out drunk.
-When girls come to the apartment, he will become “Cooooool Tucker Max.” He will dress and act differently. He will be an asshole to you. Why are you upset? Don’t you know “this is the Tucker Max show?” This pathetic statement is his actual quote.
-And finally (though I could write pages and pages of this horrible shit): When you’ve been stood up by the very first date you’ve planned in a year, you will call Tucker and ask to hang out with him. He will not come pick you up in YOUR OWN FUCKING CAR, because HE lost your license the night before and you won’t be able to get into the club he’s going to. When you ask if it’s possible to go anywhere else he will refuse because there are free drinks and whores in said club. Whores are very special. Much more special than the woman that did all the above things out of unconditional love FOR A FUCKING YEAR!
Last night Tucker blew me off. Again.
Bunny has a penis, right?
Think about Tucker.
think about me fucking your mom. if you're having trouble conjuring up a mental image, just walk down the hall to your parents' room.
Is this chick batshit crazy or what?
www.theoriginaljada.com
x Had sex with Tucker
x Had sex with Tucker, again
x No self esteem
x Posts pussy pix so guys that want tucker's sloppy seconds will tell her how hot she is
Yeah, batshit crazy attention whore.
I was thinking about Tucker this morning. I drank too much last night and took a huge fucking shit this morning. The mess in the bowl sort of looked like Tucker's face.
I laughed as I flushed. Just like how life has flushed Tucker down the tubes.
the Original Jada. Pussy shots, and she's married with a kid. She's like 6 shots skanky, like that's how many you would have to do to be able to do her.
Think about Tucker.
Keep playing right into our palm.
Think about Tucker.
Speaking of palms, you should shave yours. Must be a casualty of jacking off to jada's tit pix.
Think about not being a douchebag.
Jada married... what a fucking joke. What kind of dude doesn't mind that she proudly fucked tucker max. Twice. And probably will again. What kind of dude doesn't mind that she ate out bunny. What kind of dude doesn't mind that the entire internet can see pics of her hairless honeypot.
read her latest posts, Jada's coming close to a nervous breakdown. A couple of posts ago she also posted naked photos on Flickr. She's hideous nowadays.
Who really gives a shit about those talentless idiots who work for Tucker? Tucker is inadvertently funny, but Bunny, Jada, etc., are self-obsessed bores. Who really reads their shit?
Keep think about Tucker.
Keep commenting about members of Rudius.
You fools think this blog gives you attention and circulation, but it doesn't. Nobody helps you by hating you.
Go to Freak Safari and open the thread entitled "You sir are an idiot". Go to the second page and read the second post down. Sound familiar?
I think about tucker every time I see a pathetic drunk man at the bar, talking to himself about how he used to be somebody.
When do you think about tucker?
that's what i find hilarious about the "tucker fan" backlash at this site. they spout "think about tucker" and make it like we're captivated by tucker max. the reality is, at least for me, that i looove tucker like i love a horrible carnival side show.
i drop by this site or the rudius message board to check out how pitiful the tucker max experience has become. i get a kick out of this overweight never-was, his psycho ex, and that tag along kung fu michael.
are we feeding his press and fame? no, b/c it doesn't exist. i think a lot of their comments to the contrary should be aimed at the posters at the rudius message board.
keep on producing nothing tucker! keeps me laughing at every angle of my basement dwelling, horrible life!
oh, wait, i'm a succesful new yorker who enjoys laughing at the side show that is tucker max.
love ya, tucker, i'll keep frequenting as long as you keep being pitiful.
PS kung fu mike: get a life, your blog suck and you suck. i wish i could find that youtube of you getting your ass beat by that cloud guy. its awesome.
^^^It's not that you "fuel his cause" or "add to his nonexistant fame" or even "put money in his pockets". Its simply the IDEA that some of the people here let him get to them in such a way that it actually affects them. They think about it and seeth even when they aren't here. They use their own TIME and ENERGY, and thus surrender it to the ether, to be reclaimed. So charade you are. Bitches.
Keep on thinkin about Tucker.
Hi, my name is Alan and I can't stop thinking about Tucker Max. Tucker Max is cool, and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
The purpose of Tucker Max is to flip out and bang sluts. Tucker Max gets Tucker Max Drunk ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. I heard one time a guy said Tucker Max sucks, and Tucker Max flipped out and banged the guy's girlfriend, mom, and sister THEN puked on his couch. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
If you don't believe Tucker Max has Real Ultimate Power, you better get a life or he'll get Tucker Max Drunk and shit all over your floor, then drive his ex-girlfriend's car into your dad's donut shop. I can't wait to read Tucker Max's next book. I love Tucker Max with all of my body (including my pee pee).
The above post was freakin' funny... regardless of which side of the Tucker saga one is on.... for the record, I think ol' Tuck's a self-important hack... maybe that's why I liked it so much. But I'm sure Kungfu Mike will drop in with some really chilling tough-talk... and he CAN talk, too, since he's such an accomplished writer...
This site consists of people that drop by to post tucker jokes and call out his bullshit.
You want to see people obsessed with tucker? try his messageboard. Or his myspace page. Find an intelligent comment on his myspace blog. Good luck. Those are the kind of losers that tucker makes fun of (at least in his stories. Real life encounters seem to be fairly lame). Those are his fans. Those are the people that think about tucker.
Holy fuck! Can that insufferable cunt jada manage to write a single fucking blog that doesn't mention her shaved beaver? Listen up: As long as your nose looks like it got hit by an ugly stick, nobody wants to think about your stinky pink.
you guys are goin to be living in a world od pain once tuckers new book comes out. just wait mutherfuckers, rudius media is gonna change the enterteinment industry one and for all!! LOL!!!1
Tuck about Thinker.
"You want to see people obsessed with tucker? try his messageboard. Or his myspace page."
dead on. check out the rudius board. it's painfully, and awesomely entertaining, to see the tucker demographic of lonely 14-20 year olds post their responses.
hell, check out the grammar on the tucker fans who post on this site.
I bet Jada's husband will think about Tucker.
Every time he sees his wife naked, he will think "Tucker saw my wife naked."
Every time she sucks his cock, he will think "Tucker's cock was in my wife's mouth."
Every time he bangs his wife, he will think "Tucker fucked my wife."
All this will drive the poor bastard nuts.
Let's hope Jada never let Tucker in her ass, so at least when her husband buttfucks her he won't have to think about Tucker.
I don't know. I don't think I'll check out all those other places, because you already have, for me, and reported back. I especially liked how the person who posted right after me chose to attack, I mean, his preferred style was interesting. -
- Hi, my name is Alan and I can't stop thinking about Tucker Max. Tucker Max is cool, and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
The purpose of Tucker Max is to flip out and bang sluts. Tucker Max gets Tucker Max Drunk ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. I heard one time a guy said Tucker Max sucks, and Tucker Max flipped out and banged the guy's girlfriend, mom, and sister THEN puked on his couch. And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!
If you don't believe Tucker Max has Real Ultimate Power, you better get a life or he'll get Tucker Max Drunk and shit all over your floor, then drive his ex-girlfriend's car into your dad's donut shop. I can't wait to read Tucker Max's next book. I love Tucker Max with all of my body (including my pee pee).
7/17/2007 5:08 PM -
He makes some veiled references to that power, war and seduction page that I am only vaguely aware of, and has actually firmed up a scenario about "where I'm coming from" in his mind...all the while being sarcastically gay and humorous. Good show. A bowlful of his own tears wouldn't have made me much happier, the energy he expended and continue to expends on the THOUGHT makes me happy enough.
P.S. - Some of this "play" is going into my next sociology paper.
You words cannot hurt Tucker Max, because he does not have basic humanity. He does view humans as "human beings" in the sense we consider it, but more like animals or dogs just existing for his own pleasure or instinctual fulfillment.
This is a fact, you can read it in everything he writes.
Trying to attack him via words is pointless. Words only work on someone who cares what other people think, and only someone with humanity cares what other people think.
You have to fight him with fear and pain and suffering, just like a dog you are punishing.
Make him afraid. Make him feel pain. Make him suffer.
Hurt him. Hurt the people who are closest to him. Hurt his dogs and his friends and inflict pain, loss, and suffering upon him.
Words do not do anything to him.
He responds to fear. Real loss.
He responds to pain. Real physical pain.
He responds to suffering. Real earthly torment.
These are really the only things you should be considering using.
As they say, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Break his bones with sticks and stones, then we will see who is smiling.
Think of it like an animal. Writing things about Tucker Max is like writing things about a dog, the dog can't understand the words whereas Tucker Max is inhuman and thus it is the same effect. A dog responds to being hit, losing food and shelter, and being put through painful experiences.
Just a suggestion for those who don't seem to get things.
It's true; Tucker has some sort of Messiah complex, whereby he thinks that he possesses capability and potential that exceedingly surpass that of other people. He's a really smart guy, but there are a whole, whole lot of smart people in the world. Tucker has a sense of entitlement that is partially fueled by his abilities (which are potent but not prodigious), and partially fueled by the value he insists on his accomplishments (lots of people get academic scholarships; lots of people graduate from law school; lots of people write books; lots of people have websites; lots of people try their luck at the Hollywood game; lots of them even garner some fleeting attention, as he is now; point being, he hasn't really DONE anything - were he to pass away today, he wouldn't be remembered as an accomplisher of anything great or lasting - and, no, being at the front of a new wave of really popular internet writers doesn't count), but this sense of entitlement, combined with the chemistry of the people with which he surrounds himself and his refusal (not inability) to grasp the real, lasting implications of his actions (although evidently fractured emotionally, he's far too smart for his lifestyle to be gratifying in any way a few years from now; and he's a fool if he thinks he'll be able to transition into a different kind of lifestyle without some earnest backlash from the life he's lived up to this point), have led to a grievously distorted self-image. This self-image, then, has compelled him to conclude that he's 'above it all' somehow, impervious to consequences, and exempt from the ethical duty of considering the effects of his actions. History is full of such people - Tucker's no revolutionary - and his whirlwind, like theirs, will come. The whirlwind always comes. Let's hope he - and the people he influences - figure it out before it's forced on them; then maybe they can make reparations for their misdeeds and go on to live good, productive lives.
Your words cannot hurt Tucker Max, because he does not have ears. He cannot see human beings because of a congenital dysfunction in his visual cortex. The only solid objects Tucker Max is able to visibly perceive are tables. This is a fact, you can read it in everything he writes.
Tucker has narcissistic personality disorder. That is well known.
As a narcissist, his grandiose self-image, which you speak of, was set into place as a child. It is a defense against abuse he suffered from his parents. They treated him as though he were worthless, so as to counter-act powerful feelings of guilt and shame, he developed a fantasy of himself as all-important and all-powerful.
Seriously, just read the wikipedia article on narcissistic personality disorder. Tucker is a pretty textbook case.
What happened to the scripts for the TV show and the movie based on his life that he was working on? Is it possible that nobody wanted to watch a show in which the main character, Tucker, sits in front of his computer all day making up stories while drinking beer and eating a big bag of Cheeto's?
Blink about Blucker.
Anyone notice the O&A mention has again been removed from his Wikipedia section? What a fraud.
"He's a really smart guy, but there are a whole, whole lot of smart people in the world."
WRONG!! Half of everyone you know is below average. Steven Wright said that, as part of his one-liner comedy act. Like a lot of his one liners this one is mostly true. Intelligence as measured by standard means like stanford-binet and weschler, tend to show intelligence gathered towards the mean (about half of the concentration on one side and half on the other) and more and more sparse as it moves either negative or positive standard deviations away. So about half of everyone you know is below average. Ever seen Jay Leno's thing where he asks random people on the street questions like, "Who's the Vice President?" The people either don't know or they'll guess something like "Gloria Estefan"!! People are stupid. Larval Humans. You also said a whole lot of people graduate from law school. By what standard of comparison? The U.S.? The World? By either one of these it is a very small percentage (roughly 50,000 per year nationwide). Lots of people write books? Lots of people try their hand at the Hollywood game? WTF are you talking about you fucking moron? Ok, maybe your definition of "lots" is way different than mine, because in reality "lots" of people DON'T do those things. Ok, lets assume that I'm totally wrong and a huge percentage of the U.S. population is very smart, and a big group has written books, and a large number graduated from law school, and a substantial amount tried the "Hollywood thang". I wonder...how big is the group of people that did all these things?
Now, I order the rest of you monkeys to write something clever in retort. No exceptions folks. Extra points if you identify me as either Tucker, his boy-toy Robert or whatever, or a Rudius employee. Remember, you know exactly whats going on. You're sharp kid, you're sharp.
Think about Tucker.
1.) The world population is something on the order of 6.6 billion. Applying your logic (which is sound) renders roughly 3 billion of them 'above average.' Um.... 3 billion people is a lot of people. Thank you for fortifying my point.
2.) I know lots of people who have written and published books. I have classmates in grad school who are published. Ever been to a library? What's there? Lots of books. Who writes lots of books? Lots of writers. Your retort, thus far, is unimpressive.
3.) I don't know anybody who has gone to law school AND 'tried the Hollywood thang', but given that 'trying the Hollywood thang' essentially just means 'getting a place in LA' and shopping scripts around town, it's not like that, of itself, is an accomplishment anyhow. Ever been to LA? How many people do you think are there trying to 'break into the scene'? Lots and lots and lots. Tucker hasn't DONE anything yet - if he does, he'll be promoted to that select group of people who got Hollywood suits to look twice. Until then, he's doing the same thing every actor-cum-waiter in LA is doing - trying to 'get discovered.'
In summary: your response is weak, weak, weak.... try again.
Whoever the "Think about Tucker" guy is, he's a douchebag. His hypocrisy is outstanding.
Fink about Fucker.
The Opie & Anthony reference on the Wikipedia tucker Max was deleted by a douchebag signed in under the name BrianO. Is that one of his fanboys?
When he deleted it, he wrote the comment "I'm sorry but the reference to this interview is better suited to a fanzine, not an encyclopedia. Interesting? (for a fan) Yes Appropriate? No "
That's funny, because I question why Tucker Max is newsworthy enough to even have a Wikipedia entry. Also, all of the other pro-Tucker garbage in the entry also belongs only on a fanzine.
What a joke Tucker is. I'm glad this blog exists. He probably visits this blog everyday and gets so upset at all of the criticism.
Maybe BrianO is the marine guy who posts stupid messages here. This is his Wikipedia bio and it indicates that he was in the military.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:BrianO
Tucker Max is the best. We have a picture of him on the wall of our fraternity and everynight all the brothers gather around and give it a standing ovation before we go to bed. This is a true fact. Go AEP!!!
Tucker Max is the best. We have an alter of him in the front of our temple and everynight all the brothers gather around and give it a blood offering before we go to bed. This is a true fact. As opposed to a false one.
- The Rudius Cult
So this is the kind of "talent" Rudius Media attracts:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=16491
In case Tucker makes the wise decision of deleting this thread..here's the text:
The best Rudius submission ever [NSFW pics]
Wow. I mean...I don't even know what to say about this nutjob.
Ok, first, read his initial submission. See if you can pick the exact moment he was rejected:
Quote:
name: JrrrZ
subject-of-site: I am a little bit out there, but pretty much a creative genius
x-name-of-site: www.jrrrz.com
text-sample-one:
I saw Christ at the old public park,
chewing on a dry piece of bark.
I said "Jesus, my man!"
and extended my hand,
so he bit off my arm like a shark.
text-sample-two: JrrrZ's Dream
"With my signature, and that of Prime Minister JrrrZ, we will have
reached a monumental treaty: more than just a standard accord, but a
revolutionary decree - a new era of global cooperation, a true golden
age for the world population! Here we have an agreement between
gentlemen, an exercise in diplomacy that, manifested upon itself,
forthwith, shall represent a new and greater epoch of human dignity!"
God, do I have to scratch my balls. Here I am, beside the leader of
the free world, at a peace summit that will be televised in over fifty
countries, and there is nothing I want more than to reach into my
pants and give my nuts a good rub. You know, scrape the sack. Rake the
'rotum. Peel the oranges.
"And now I shall hand the microphone - glorious emblem of liberation,
medium of transcontinental rehabilitation - to the Prime Minister, and
may he, with words of a wisdom that is never-ending, and a knowledge
that fails to reach the state of non-infinity, impart that wisdom and
knowledge, like the thundering roar of the great chariots of Nazareth,
upon you."
I have to focus. My words will go down in the annals of my nation's
history. I simply have to keep my mind off my burning crotch.
"War in the free world is like. . . an itch."
Shit! Oh well, I might as well keep going with the metaphor.
"But today, our nations shall gather around the olive branch of peace.
And we will soon know just how soothing the leaves of this branch may
be when applied to any area of the body." Oh man my balls are killing
me. . . "Because you might even say that all the nations here are like
parts of a great, peaceful body - be them scalps, armpits, or
crotches."
"Very well said, Mr. Prime Minister, and now I must add. . ."
"No! Actually, sir, I must continue. I think we need to establish to
the viewing world just how committed we are to peace. Your country of
thinkers is like a great brain of democracy, so I will demonstrate my
country's commitment to you by scratching your head."
I reach over to the president, staggering a bit because my goddamn
balls itch so much, and thrust my hand into his thick, gray hair. I
scratch hard from the top of his scalp down to his ears. "There you
go, that's a good boy, yeah that's a good boy." The president shoots
me an uncomfortable look but lets me continue.
"And now Mr. President will show the world that he and his nation will
honor my country with this revolutionary 'I scratch your back, you
scratch mine' foreign policy. Mr. President, I think many would
consider my country the loins of democracy."
He steps over slowly, holding a smile for the cameras, and whispers
through clenched teeth "What exactly are you asking that I do?"
"You," I whisper back, voiced strained by the indescribable torment of
burning nuts, "you need to scratch me in front of the crowd. . . down
there."
"You want me to. . ."
"Yes."
"You're saying that. . ."
"Yes."
"You're asking me to rake your 'rotum in front of an international
audience of five hundred million?!?"
"For peace," I whisper slowly, "do it for peace."
The President sighs, tentatively placing his hand at the junction
between my balls and my leg. I place my hand over his, and slowly
begin to move it up and down. "Um," he begins into the microphone, "I
am going to scratch away the perils of unrest from this land." He
starts to rake his nails harder into my flesh. "I will liberate the
noble freedoms buried deep within the hearts of the oppressed." My
muscles tense and relax. Chills run up and down my spine. "I will
elevate this planet into a twirling orb of super-democracy, revolving
in peace! Whirling through the sky with the unrestricted velocity of
astronomical prosperity! Through the divine inspiration of our Father
in heaven, I will scratch this world into a glorious state of prolific
pacification!"
My balls are melting away in a warm wash of relief! I roll back my
eyes and slam my fists hard onto the podium.
"Peace at last! Peace at last! Sweet, merciful God! Peace at last!"
So, obviously, he was rejected. Then it gets fun. Pay attention to the subject line:
Quote:
name: JrrrZ
subject-of-site: I just sent an application that was rejected, but it was not my boldest work. That was a mistake. These submissions show the real me. I have a lot to say.
name-of-site: www.jrrrz.com
text-sample-one:
It's four thirty a.m. and the house is asleep.
I. . . am not asleep.
I am crouched in the bathtub in a frog-like stance, small puddles of
urine and liquid shit at my feet. I'm leaning forward, gripping the
side of the tub and biting my knee, overwhelmed by a mixture of pain
and pleasure as I piston a dildo in and out of my ass.
You see, I really love anal masturbation.
Ever try it? No? You should.
Doesn't matter who you are. God gave all of us, male and female, an
abundance of nerve endings in our rectum - and one life to live. So
why don't you go ahead and test out the equipment? Have some fun. No
point in having a gun sitting on your shelf your entire life and never
killing anyone, right?
But I realize there's a fairly persistent misconception among guys
that I'm gonna have to dispel before we go any further:
Stimulating your own ass is not "gay."
That notion doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, how could
anything you do to your own body be gay? Nobody ever freaks out in
the middle of jerking off like "Holy fuck, I've got a fistful of cock!
I've gotta cut this gay shit out!" Well, what's the philosophical
difference between playing with your dick and playing with your ass?
There is none.
Look fellas, here's the scoop:
If you have a girl wearing a foot long strap-on, smacking your face
and screaming "WHO'S MY BITCH?!?" while she pounds your asshole until
it bleeds, that would be a *heterosexual* act. Girl on guy. Simple.
Now if it's a guy that's fucking you, that would be homosexual. And
if you're doing it to yourself, well, that's plain old masturbation.
But listen - if you're still sitting there being stubborn, all macho
and uptight going "My ass. . . is EXIT ONLY!!!" then lemme just ask
you a question.
You know that feeling you get when you take a really big shit?
You know what I'm talking about. You're sitting on the couch, eating
Cheez-Its and watching Larry King, when all of the sudden you feel
that familiar burning. . . so you get up and bound off to the bathroom
all bow legged, clenching your sphincter real tight, and then you
furiously rip off your boxer briefs and plop down on the seat just in
time to let a huuuuuuge thick turd come sliding out of your ass?
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
That feeling.
That tingling, chills up your spine,
this-is-absolutely-the-pinnacle-of-human-existence feeling.
Well guess what. That's the feeling of a massive rod moving through
your rectum, tickling those wonderfully abundant nerve endings. You
love it. It's okay. We all do. It doesn't make you a fag. Or at the
very least, we're ALL fags. So indulge yourself.
(Yes, I understand that said feeling is partially due to the sensory
experience of toxins leaving the body, which is unique to defecation -
but the operative word here is "partially." You like the log
movement, too. Don't try to argue.)
So anyway, now that you've decided to be bold, and not a homophobic
pussy, and poke around the cornhole a little bit - good for you. But
there's something you should remember. Anal masturbation is just like
playing the accordion, or shooting a jumper, or really anything else
that's worth doing. That is, it requires practice.
You see, back when I was a kid I would get curious and stick a finger
or a toothbrush up there, but I wasn't fucking around with anywhere
near the kind of pleasure I'm achieving now. It was uncomfortable
even. So I worked on it.
And conversely, I know I'm still far from expertise in this particular
discipline. I don't claim to be an ass master. There's a whole world
of lengths, girths, textures, and vibrations that my eager browneye
has yet to inhale.
But since I have honed my skills to a pretty decent level, I'll share
with you my current technique. Without further ado:
JrrrZ's Anal Masturbation Technique
What You Need:
1. Lubricant of your choice
2. Fake cock (eight inches, approx.)
3. Ridged anal wand (seven inches, approx.)
Procedure:
1. Apply a generous amount of lube to your index finger, and swirl
the lubricated finger lightly around your butthole. Add another drop
or two of lube, and then simultaneously push your finger into your
butthole while pushing back with your anus muscles.
2. Slide your finger into your ass up to the knuckle and feel around
for turds. Unless you're an anorexic, you probably will come across
one.
3. Circle your finger around your anal walls pressing outward, as if
you were an umpire signaling a home run. You should be near the
toilet, because this is intended to stimulate a bowel movement. Once
you've shit, and your rectum is empty, then you're ready for some
heavy duty fun.
4. Lube up a second finger and slip them both into your poopchute.
Let your asshole get comfortable with the new mass, and then begin to
pump a little. Repeat with a third finger if you so desire.
5. Slather lube all over the ridged anal wand. Squat over your tool
and press the tip to your now greasy anus. Just as you've done with
your fingers, ease the dildo into your cornhole as you push back onto
it with your ass muscles. Go slowly, stopping at each ridge and
letting your ass adjust to the increase in width, until you have it in
as far as it will go.
6. Now it's time to start pounding. I'm not gonna get more specific
than that. Do it your own way. Experiment with different positions
and rhythms until you find what you like.
7. Once your ass has been thoroughly fucked by the anal wand, it's
time to move up to the larger dildo. Again, you're going to repeat
the process that you've done twice already, with your fingers and the
wand. Entering slowly, pushing back on it, letting yourself adjust,
and then starting to pump.
8. At this point your asshole is really loose, gaping even, and it's
time to move on to my favorite part. Crouch down, or get into
whatever position you feel comfortable with, and hold the fake cock in
one hand and the wand in the other. Work the fake cock in and out,
building the pace until you are doing a high intensity rectal
plundering. Slide it in really deep, pause, then pull it out all the
way - quickly jamming in the anal wand to fill its place. The rapid
transition from smooth to ridged textures will send waves out of
pleasure rippling through your entire body. Then give yourself a nice
hard fuck with the anal wand, and repeat as many times as you'd like.
*In carrying out these steps - even if you take the dump at the
beginning - you still might at some point fuck the shit out of
yourself. This is why I recommend doing it in a bathtub, or on some
other surface that is easy to clean. Now at first you might be
squeamish about the poo, but I think that as you get hardcore into the
pleasure of all this, you'll just naturally get desensitized. Kind of
like a heroin addict quickly gets over his fear of needles.
In fact, I've found that the right kind of poo can easily be
incorporated into the festivities. Sometimes while I'm pounding away
I will feel a sudden rush of heat travel through my ass, and I'll know
that I'm coating the dildo with a somewhat viscous liquid shit. At
this point in the ass ramming, my pain tolerance is rather high, so
I'll simply jam the shitty dildo back up my ass, and let the sudden
decrease in lubrication create an effect similar to the aforementioned
smooth-to-ridged transition. As a matter of fact, this is probably
the most intense sensation that I've come across in my entire anal
masturbatory experience.*
So that's how it's done. Quite the activity, I must say. Maybe next
time you're feeling bored and restless, you can give it a shot.
Unless you're a fucking prude, in which case I'd recommend suicide.
Or do a goddamn crossword puzzle, I don't really care.
One more thing I want to say on the subject: I really think anal
penetration should be an Olympic sport. Wouldn't that be neat? I
mean for Christ sakes, we've all seen how much those little Japanese
bastards can eat - can you imagine how much they could stuff up the
other end? It could even be a team sport where one of them has to
take their partner's entire head up their ass.
Well. . . I don't really know how much support I'm gonna get for my
petition to add competitive rectal insertion to the Olympic Games,
we'll have to see - but seriously, speed walking? FUCKING CURLING?!?
It would be far from the dumbest event on the schedule.
text-sample-two: This One Ant I Know
Traveling through
the world of ants,
through complex dirt
and sandy mazes
and endless ribbons
of ant genetics,
one is bound
to come upon
an ant with a really
enormous penis,
a worker ant
hung like a beetle,
who pimps on all
the hot ant bitches,
and also smokes
ant marijuana,
and ditches work
to go home early,
where he watches
the best ant porno
and eats a box
of ant fried chicken
and drinks a beer
and takes a nap.
Oh, that's not all.
Then he started sending pics. Let's start with the tamest one, and my second favorite, his crayon drawring:
The pictures were indecipherable, but, isn't this one of those "rock-bottom" moments of clarity normal people would experience?
Also, Drunk Rex posted: "Stydie?" But his post was deleted within a minute of it's being posted. Here's Tucker's witty response to the guy:
omorrow, I'm going to email him and get him here. This'll be better than Cloud Starchaser. I think I'll send this email:
Quote:
Dear Sir:
Due to gross incompetence on the part of my staff, your submission fell through the cracks and was rejected. Clearly this is an error, and the people responsible for this are no longer employed by Rudius Media.
I would like to extend an invitation to you to participate in the thread where we see you "get your artistic genius on, lol." Please, come share.
Though, we would like to see some more pics. There are readers of mine who don't understand the joys of anally raping oneself, and would like to see a video demonstration.
Sincerely,
Tucker Max, Esquire
PS--Thank you for opening my eyes. Up to this point in my life, I was not aware that I was a nigger, nor was I aware that I was in Auchwitz.
Also, I love that he references Cloud Starchaser, even though he's deleted any thread relevant to the guy, since he called Tucker and Kung Fu Fag out.
I read that whole thing that Tucker and his Rudites wrote, and didn't laugh once. LAME.
1.) The world population is something on the order of 6.6 billion. Applying your logic (which is sound) renders roughly 3 billion of them 'above average.' Um.... 3 billion people is a lot of people. Thank you for fortifying my point.
---LOL. Sure, ok, but average (in the U.S.) is like 100, which personally I've always wondered how these people go through the day without setting themselves on fire. Your original statement was that there are "there are lots of smart people in the world". But we haven't defined "smart" or "lots". I still don't think there are that many smart people in the world. I know it feels easy to apply your environment to the rest of the world, and I think you said something about going to grad school, I did too, at Baylor, so I know that most of your friends are probably smart. So it seems like there are a lot of smart people out there, but get on wiki and take a look at grad stats or literacy stats for the U.S.. We are part of a small group.
2.) I know lots of people who have written and published books. I have classmates in grad school who are published. Ever been to a library? What's there? Lots of books. Who writes lots of books? Lots of writers. Your retort, thus far, is unimpressive.
Woah. MY retort is unimpressive? You keep using silly little examples like, "library has lots books, lots books equals lots writers" Whats "lots"? Compared to what? Also, you are using your environment as an example again. As you sit in a nice brick in the suburbs you must be conscious that not EVERYBODY owns one. I know...its shocking.
3.) I don't know anybody who has gone to law school AND 'tried the Hollywood thang', but given that 'trying the Hollywood thang' essentially just means 'getting a place in LA' and shopping scripts around town, it's not like that, of itself, is an accomplishment anyhow. Ever been to LA? How many people do you think are there trying to 'break into the scene'? Lots and lots and lots. Tucker hasn't DONE anything yet - if he does, he'll be promoted to that select group of people who got Hollywood suits to look twice. Until then, he's doing the same thing every actor-cum-waiter in LA is doing - trying to 'get discovered.'
LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS. ....indeed.
Also, let me just say that the primary source of my amusement here isn't trying to defend Tucker. I could give a shit less. My main sources of amusement are two-fold. 1)Watching how hard you'll try to convince yourself that he is nobody...for reasons I can only guess at. 2) Watching you get more and more angry as I contradict myself to manipulate others. One guy already pointed out the hypocrisy. Good work Kid, you're sharp.
In summary: your response is weak, weak, weak.... try again.
- My objective is not to prove that Max hasn't accomplished anything. Reread my original post; my analysis concerns his rampant narcissism, its reasons and effects; my concern is his inflated self-importance, not his accomplishments, or dearth of. You picked off less arrestive points instead of commenting on that large point; nevertheless, if you want to reduce this to our differing definitions of 'lots', have at it, but that's a weak point of departure.
- I'm not mad. I didn't write anything derogatory about Tucker or anyone else, including you, in my original post or in my response; further, I didn't accuse you of being someone you're not. I even ended my original post by articulating my sincere hope that Tucker and his friends pull themselves together one day. My entire analysis is borne of concern for Tucker personally, and for what he represents in western culture (which is in a dire state)... by way of contrast, you called me a 'fucking moron' in your response, and you called everyone else here 'monkeys'. You also called one of my points 'silly' (which it is not, regardless of whether you concur), and derogatorily accuse me of living in a 'nice brick in the Suburbs.' Based on these points, which one of us appears to be getting mad?
1) I didn't direct the "accusing me of being someone I'm not" thing at you. Some of the other kids in here like to think everyone who disagrees with them is Tucker, or a Rudius Agent. It makes them feel important. Like they are part of a bigger schema. I just like to play with that.
2)Sorry I called you a "fucking moron". Its obvious from your writing that you aren't one.
3) I know I called everyone else here monkeys. Read the posts here, paranoid delusion, group think, anger. It doesn't seem feigned. The stuff I say is feigned. I move from my little boring excel spreadsheet to this page for boredom's sake. To illicit responses. I'm almost always smiling as I type. These people are "left of the bell curve", as I like to say.
http://www.indiana.edu/~intell/bellcurve.shtml
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bell_Curve
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ
4) I still think that point was silly.
5)Dude! It is not derogatory to say that someone lives in a nice brick house in the suburbs! That was a compliment. A big assumption, but not a derogatory one.
Unless of course you are mad rich and a brick ranch in the suburbs seems below you.
r u a chick? Not to be insulting, if you aren't, but your writing sounds distinctly like a chicks writing to me.
1.) Yeah, all right... I can see that. I'll definitely side with you, that this whole saga is quite silly.
2.) Well! A compliment! Thank you, sir! Likewise.
3.) See my comment for #1. I move from taking class notes to these boards, probably for some of the same reasons you do. I figured out a long time ago that only about a third of what my profs say needs to be heard... bad, I know. I wonder if the people who post here are seriously as worked up about this as their posts lead one to believe they might be, or if they just 'play hard', since it's an anonymous internet post-board. Some of these folks are just droll... but Tucker and his yes-people are equally droll.
4.) Yeah, well, I think my point was ridiculously awesome.
5.) Duly noted. I'll take it as a compliment. Woah! Two compliments in one post!... It sounded as if it was indirectly derogatory, but... hmmm... I'll take you at your word. Truth is, between getting some inheritance money a while back, and investing it well, I am pretty freakin' loaded. I have more money than Tucker, that's for sure.
Naw, man, I ain't no chick... hey, are you the original 'think about Tucker' guy? 'Cause you stirred up the hive, my man...you wrote that you went to grad school at Baylor. I almost went to grad school there, but decided against it for several reasons... what field did you study in?
Maybe we can totally turn this board into a discussion of grad schools and finances... take a little of Tuck's self-importance away from him...
I did my MBA there, focus on finance. I did my undergrad there too. You're lucky you went elsewhere. Waco sucks!! Not to mention having the worst football team in the big 12. I should've went to SMU when all my buddies left and went there.
Yeah, I'm the original "Think about Tucker" guy and Professional Hive Stirrer.
Would you two faggots quit sucking each other's dicks?
I didn't know Baylor had an MBA program. What was the concentration, animal husbandry?
You know... that anal masturbation guide made me laugh more than anything tucker has written in the last 3 years.
$5 says tucker's next story involves being fucked up the ass by a girl wearing a strapon.
Anonymous#1: "Would you two faggots quit sucking each other's dicks?" Nice. Sounds like you've taken some classes at the Rudius School of Fratire Writing". Next time, try insulting people without referring to penises, if you think you can.
Anonymous #2: Are you looking for an animal mating program in which to enroll? You seem very interested in the field.
You are way too into this blog, think about tucker guy. You revealed too much about yourself in your little gettin'-to-know-ya dicksuck. I now know you're just a pompous douche who's starved for attention and likes to mess with people who believes is dumber than he is.
"you're just a pompous douche who's starved for attention and likes to mess with people who believes is dumber than he is"
Wow. Try diagramming THAT train wreck of a sentence.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=16491
Hah! That thread is great. Star cloud chaser show up, Cocky Mc beefwell gets a mention as well. Then the whole focus of the thread turn out to be an old member who was banned. It gets closed when SLF admits the whole forum was duped. Awesome.
I loved that the posters on the RMMB all play self diagnosed super-smarts, yet few of them spotted the obviously fake StarCocksmoker.
11:44 PM:
Where was Mc beefwell mentioned?
The Rudius Media application was the best thing I have read on the RMMB in a long time - A breath of fresh air blowing across stagnant waters.
When did it become board policy to drive out the funny and the original? I see there is yet another permutation on the interminable topic of ‘what makes a man’ floating around near the top of the Idiot Board, like a swollen, week-old corpse.
Some fuckface said: "I didn't know Baylor had an MBA program. What was the concentration, animal husbandry?"
You're thinking of Texas A&M. Baylor is the old southern money school. Not as many ranchers as you might think. As a side note I would be pretty proud to have studied Animal Husbandry. It is almost certainly more complex than anything in the Business School.
Some Faggot said: "I now know you're just a pompous douche who's starved for attention and likes to mess with people who believes is dumber than he is."
I think you may have just proven my point...GENIUS.
THINK
ABOUT
TUCKER.
Thizzle abizzle tizzle.
Taking out the trash is more interesting than what they teach in an MBA program. Or the second and third year of law school for that matter.
Sorry, I didn't mean to insult your choice of schools. It was probably the best you could do, given your grades, your undergraduate degree, work experience, and GMAT scores. You wouldn't have gone there had you been an attractive candidate.
What are you, an admissions counselor?
"I now know you're just a pompous douche who's starved for attention and likes to mess with people who believes is dumber than he is."
Wow. So I typo'd. If you insert "he" in the right place, which is what I meant to do, the sentence is grammatical. Your replies only prove my point (especially that you would even consider diagramming a sentence). You're a pompous douche who gets his rocks off on inflating his already-over-inflated sense of intelligence.
Can we please get back to the subject in hand. Every 10 seconds a starving African child dies without any knowledge of Tucker Max's douchery.
Looks like the guy repping Baylor just got burned!
"I now know you're just a pompous douche who's starved for attention and likes to mess with people who believes is dumber than he is."
You switched from first-person paradigm ("YOU'RE just a pompus douche...") to third-person ("...who believes is dumber than HE is."). Your sentence is grammatical, all right - grammatically WRONG.
By the way, I'm not the Baylor/think about Tucker guy... but I think I understand now why he laughs at the rest of you.
Yeah well, Baylor's not great I guess. I mean the undergrad business program is only ranked 38th (in the nation) by businessweek this year (2007). While the MBA program ranked a dismal 73rd. The Princeton review included it in the Top 80 Business schools in America in "The Princeton Review".
Overall baylor is ranked 25th among private schools in the nation.
I guess I did get burned. I'm pretty embarrassed.
-There is no such thing as a first-person or third-person "paradigm".
-You said "you" is first person. It's not. "You" is second person. "I" is first person.
-Switching from first person to third person is grammatical in that sentence because there is a subordinate clause modifying the noun "pompous douche".
I didn't even want to get involved in this stupid argument, but seeing someone just spout bullshit while thinking they're right pisses me off. You're like Tucker, dude.
You DID get burned, Baylor guy. You got burned when that guy wrote.... um... that thing.... that thing where.... wait, how did you guys burn him again?
the grammer police just got nailed. wonder if its kingfag mike in disguise?
I went out for lunch today and saw a St Bernard take a massive shit outside our building.
It made me think about Tucker.
11:44 PM:
Where was Mc beefwell mentioned?
7/20/2007 5:03 AM
It was on about page 3 of the thread. Some one a couple post's up from it used the term "Mc cock well" or something like that and a poster ask if it was a reference to this blog. Of course the post is gone now, there is not even one of those snarky "Deleted because" things in it's place. It went to that place that all negative tucker post's go. You know that place where reality doesn't exsist.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=16491
It gets closed when SLF admits the whole forum was duped. Awesome.
7/19/2007 11:44 PM
This post by SLF (Silly little freak-en retard) previously post number 120 of said thread has now also been deleted by SLF reason:Meh!
Meaning "I said something that Tucker disliked so I got rid of it"
I like how recently the ads on the site are for zit creams and t-shirts. Showing that tuckers fan base is 15 year old boys.
Those ads are tailored directly for the pasty loosers from this blog that go visit our forum!
Loosers.
Loosers? Loooooosers.
fagz.
~smalls
Heteros.
- Biggie
holy shit over 800 comments on this shitty blog!
looks like you fags have no more ammo.
good riddance, loosers!!!
looser? Looser than kung fu mike's asspussy after buttsex with tucker?
Tucker compares himself to Jane Austen:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=16541
Wow, literary agents haven't read populist trash published almost 200 years ago? As someone who's read her books, I can only say: the publishing agencies have excellent judgment.
Tucker immediately draws comparison to the fact that no one would publish his lies. I can't even begin to point out the irony. Jane Austen's books were popular because of the era in which they were published. Tucker claims he's only successful because he's on the cusp of a revolution in the entertainment industry.
If he had tried to sell his garbage in the 18th century, no one would have bought it.
I always thought this site was a little crazy, but the blind, dumb arrogance of that thread really hammered home for me how delusional Tucker is.
PS - he lives with his psychotic ex-girlfriend and some sycophantic message board loser. He's 32 years old and rents a house in a bad part of town.
I think about Tucker anytime I need to feel better about myself.
"I think about Tucker anytime I need to feel better about myself."
Nice.
PS - he lives with his psychotic ex-girlfriend and some sycophantic message board loser. He's 32 years old and rents a house in a bad part of town.
I think about Tucker anytime I need to feel better about myself.
7/22/2007 7:44 PM
According to tucker most people are just stating out on thier careers at his age (32). Most "normal people start when chosing a college at 17. Sorry my career started 10 years ago (I'm 37).(And I was such a late bloomer it's sad) He says "Im just starting my career". Sorry dude at 32 you missed the sucses boat. everyone is sitting at the finnish line sipping Gatorade. Laughing at moron's like you. What does tucker have? A ghetto house? No car. People hanging on to him Equals a BIG ZERO.
Tucker in the imortal words of "Pink Floyd" "Try to run but, to catch up with sun because it's sinking to some how come up behind you again" Your done, you suck, and your sinking!
Post a Comment