Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Chicago Sun Times Exposes Tucker Max As A Douchebag

Someone posted a link in the comments section of a previous post to the blog article Sunday Lunch With Tucker Max at the website for the Chicago Sun Times. This blog article was written by a female reporter who followed Tucker Max around for a day when he did a book signing at a Chicago book store. This article clearly shows that Tucker Max's book tour hasn't gone as well he tries to make it seem. According to the author, Tucker Max only signed 41 books at the bookstore. He apparently received $1 for each book signed. After accounting for the cost of parking ($26), he ended the day ahead by only $15. However, after factoring in the cost of renting the SUV he drove to get to the book store, it is obvious that he lost money on the Chicago leg of his book signing tour.

The Chicago Times blog entry was posted in April 2006. Shortly after it went up on the website, the morons who kiss up to Tucker Max started this long message board thread bashing the blog author. Tucker Max and his followers are so delusional that they actually seem to believe that the author wrote the blog entry because she was jealous of Tucker Max because of he is a 'successful writer,' wanted to have sex with Tucker but was distraught when she realized it wasn't going to happen, or is just a man-hating bitch.

This is the blog article:
Sunday Lunch with Tucker Max

The downtown Books-A-Million, on South Clark Street, is not exactly located in the heart of Tucker Max country. Business-casual office workers and well-suited bankers on late-morning coffee breaks mostly cruise past the table stacked with Max's book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (Citadel Press, 277 pages, $12.95), without so much as a second look.

Every now and then, though, someone stops. It's generally a guy, slightly sheepish. And he'll do a brief double-take, taking in the book and its recognizably obnoxious cover, and then gradually begin to focus in on Max himself, sitting behind the table, looking sleepy and hungover.


[Click here is see the rest of the article]


Anonymous said...

Tucker also went to the University of Chicago and sold a ton of books. It wasn't a bust at all.

Anonymous said...

Cloud, where is your Tucker Max video?

Anonymous said...

you guys should go easy on tucker. he had a really tough childhood you know. his parents were divorced. it doesn't get much tougher than that.

Anonymous said...

jesus christ, i like tucker max, and i don't even know half the shit you guys know about him.

it's a sad world when the people who don't like someone know more and devote more time and energy than the fans.

his freaking childhood? his parents marriage? what the fuck?

i have only one question
1) WHY.
2) How do you have so much time to spend on someone you don't like?

Anonymous said...

fuck off. he complains constantly about how bad his childhood was and how his father abandoned him. i do this because i enjoy kicking his ass. why do you care what i do, exactly? i don't criticize you for fucking your mother, except when the condom falls off and i have to fish it out.

Anonymous said...

So what if he had a bad childhood. Is that your excuse for every lame thing he's done as adult?

What about when he posted all of those details about his relationship with the Katy Johnson (or whatever her name was)? Even if the details of that one particular story had some truth to them, wasn't he still a dickhead for posting it on the Internet? He only did that to make himself seem cool even though he knew that would hurt her.

Screw him. He deserves every bit of criticism he receives. I'm actually surprised his mouth hasn't led to him getting an ass-kicking.

Anonymous said...

stupid fucks. don't understand sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

Im not trying to defend Tucker because I dont care if you like him or hate him, but ive never read anything where he complains about his childhood. If you have, put some links to prove me wrong.

Anonymous said...

"i do this because i enjoy kicking his ass. " HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

that would imply you have some form of physical contact with him. which you don't.

"don't criticize you for fucking your mother, except when the condom falls off and i have to fish it out."

and holy fuck, this is how you retards speak to people? And you talk about how shitty tucker max is? and u talk about fucking peoples mothers.

being anonymous is so easy isnt it.

Anonymous said...

The message board thread is far more revealing than the article. 9+ pages of individuals droning on and on about feminism, the generation gap and the 'publishing industry.'

Are you serious?

Tucker Max is an incendiary character. He writes stories about topics that would make your mom blush and then asks his message board to explain to him why an older woman (the author of the article)is turned off by him.

He should thank his lucky stars that there is a large contingent of people in this world that fundamentally disagree with his lifestyle. If it weren't for these people, his work would have no 'edge' and his fans would not be so loyal.

He simply should recognize that some people are not going to like him. Asking his fans for social, cultural and psychological deconstructions of the woman who wrote a negative article about him reeks of insecurity.

Besides, if she cant take a joke, fuck her.

Anonymous said...

metaphor fucky. i say life kicks your ass, but what i mean by that is that you're a forlorn loser.

being anonymous is really easy when i'm fucking your mother as well, because then i don't have to pony up her standard $2.00 fee.

Anonymous said...

the guy who keeps insisting that hes kicking everyones ass by posting anonymously how much he hates tucker max is hilarious

you haters are funny hahahah

Anonymous said...

shit man i hate tucker too, but that guy who keeps talking about fuckin mothers and kicking peoples asses sounds like a fuckin tool.

Anonymous said...

the only tool here is your brother's one in your ass dipshit.

Anonymous said...

11/04/2006 9:05 AM

- dude, i agree with the guys above, you are seriously a tool.

let me guess, a response with something to do with incest or dicks or asses or mothers or brothers or fathers or sisters hahahahaha

you're not just a tool. you're a predictable tool.

Anonymous said...

9:40 AM

dont forget rape! that tool loves throwing rape in there too

Anonymous said...

fuck all of you. a bunch of no-talent having virgins. go get in line to fellate tucker max. it starts behind kungfu mike.

Anonymous said...

not the same guy as the guys above,

but are you capable of making a come back that doesn't have anything to do with a sexual act involving dick?

or are you just a pathetically repressed faggot?

i think its the latter hahahahahah

-not the same guy as the guys above.
but, i agree with them, you are a serious serious tool.

Anonymous said...

quit pretending to be different people fuckhead. you're fooling nobody.

Anonymous said...


i was actually the first person to say you're a tool.
looks like everyone agrees with me

fuckin faggot!

Anonymous said...

hey faggot

we're not the same people.

try to make a joke that doesnt involve dick fuckin faggot. maybe your head will explode ahaha

Anonymous said...

Getting back to the story at hand (and away from the troll commentary), yes it's obvious the Max book tour didn't live up to his message board boasts.

Some of the more marginal fraternities would welcome him, though I can't imagine the book sales would amount to "a ton of books". I'm a Sigma Chi; I can't imagine one of our chapters inviting a clown like that over.

Anonymous said...

the success of a book tour doesn't rely on the profits made during the book tour. It's just about exposing yourself and meeting you fans. in terms of the people turn out, it was highly highly succesful.

the advancement is where they get the money, not in the amount of books sold at the time they're at the store.

Royalties for any given book is extremely little something like 7% of the unit price, which is standard for any given author.

Again, the profits are measured in the advance, not the amount of books sold when he's in the store.

Anonymous said...

yeah, it was a real success. tucker driving his rv around, setting up a table outside some frat house and swiping credit cards for the 5 or so people that came out.

tucker's taking over. watch out. that's why he's trying to find any possible way to bleed an extra ten cents out of his site.

Anonymous said...

"swiping credit cards"

say what?

i know you hate tucker, but you don't have to start making shit up.

even the articles written to make him sound like an idiot, clearly state the ridiculous number of women that show up to this signings.

"trying to find any possible way to bleed an extra ten cents out of his site"

anything except putting up pop-up ads which would get him a shitload more than what he's currently making.

Anonymous said...

Tucker didn't make a shitload of money from his first book. Tucker made 300K on his next book deal, but all the pressure is on him to succeed. If his book doesn't get 2 million dollars worth of sales, it won't even break even, and the chance that he'll get another book deal like this one is nil.

Problem is, Tucker isn't that good of a writer, he's going to have to be very careful because people ARE looking at his stories with a microscope. No publisher wants to have another James Frey on his hands, so unless his stories are 100% fact checkable, they might not even be printed, and if that happens, he's not good enough of a writer to make up for it, and his sales will plummet.

I saw Tucker in action at one of his book signings. He's kind of stuck to doing his schtick for his fans (the same ones he insults on his messageboards) and hooking up with random slutty girls. If that makes him happy, good for Tucker Max. That however doesn't do anything about the fact that his stories are fabricated and/or embellished and he's getting paid to write "NON-FICTION" since he claims his books are 100% true. They had better be, because with an advance of 300K, he's going to have a lot of explaining to do outside his message board.

This is going to be a big fall.

Anonymous said...

hmm i highly doubt there is going to be a "big fall".

I'm a tucker fan and i honestly couldn't give a shit about any of the stuff you guys are posting.

only the true freaks and weirdos take their time to look into it this much and faithfully root for someones failure.

It's just a unique sort of artist that bares their personal lives, and those of the people close to them, for the benefit of the masses.

The true fans should be happy with what they've got, and keep themselves grounded in normalcy enough not to probe as deeply into the situation as people such as yourself are entitled to.

you guys have way too much time.

Anonymous said...

fuck you're stupid. he makes shit up. any moron can do that. it's fucking laughable that you say people shouldn't care. so the smoking gun was in the wrong for calling out james frey?

stupid, grunting fuck.

Anonymous said...

"It's just a unique sort of artist that bares their personal lives, and those of the people close to them, for the benefit of the masses.

The true fans should be happy with what they've got, and keep themselves grounded in normalcy enough not to probe as deeply into the situation as people such as yourself are entitled to."

Okay, you've completely disqualified yourself from any pertinent conversation regarding Tucker when you called him "an artist". The only kind of artist that Tucker is, is a CON ARTIST, and you have been fooled.

Are you actually calling what Tucker does "art"? It's not even literature. It's Penthouse letters written in the 1st person by a major alcoholic who claims that fans like yourself are "idiots". You know why he keeps calling his fans "idiots" on his board? Because he knows he can keep connin you over and over and you won't care. It might be the only truth he writes about.

Almost every verifiable story Tucker has written has major holes in them (and I'm not talking about the women). Read the story below, his story about Embassy Suites is bullshit. As was his story about driving a car into a sandwich shop. And those are only the verifiable stories, the ones where Tucker uses actual locations and dates. None of them are true. And I'm not going to take one of his buddies words that this happened exactly how he wrote it. Sycophants lie for the people they are toadies for, and will do anything to protect their "precious". In your case, it's Tucker.

If Tucker has been proven to lie about those stories with just a few idiots like us doing the grunt work to verify if they happened, how many of his stories do you think are like he claims? 100% true?

Also, does your "being grounded in normalcy" mean that you allow yourself to be lied to by your hero? DOes that mean you do no research (by the way, nobody has discredited this site or what is being "probed").

Do yourself a favor, read some of the site, if you find some bullshit regarding any story about Tucker's faking his stories on this site, then POST IT!!! Say how, why, and who you contacted like many of us have, and tell us why the story posted here is bullshit.

Otherwise you just look like a sycophant who allows himself to knowingly be lied to by a guy like Tucker. Fan or no fan, nobody deserves to be lied to like that.

Anonymous said...

I bought his damn book (never again). I even briefly enjoyed a few "stories". But they are just that. Fairy tales.

What pisses me off is that he LIES about them, claiming them true, and then ridicules his own "fans". If I had such stupid fans who would believe such tripe, I'd be forced to ridicule them too.

You "fans" don't even realize that he hates you for being so stupid as to believe his bullshit.

You are the fat girl in his story.

"only the true freaks and weirdos take their time to look into it this much and faithfully root for someones failure."

Really? Ya think?

So if I root for an asshole, user of women, and flat out liar to fail, I must be the true freak and/or weirdo?

What if I root for a child rapist to fail? Uh... you just forgot to qualify your sentence, right?

Scratch the "user of women" part. I've done that too, many times. And I guess I'll admit that I've been an asshole for it. Does that make me cool? Hell no, it makes me an asshole.

But think about what you just typed and try to restate it with some relevence and credence, ok?

"It's just a unique sort of artist that bares their personal lives, and those of the people close to them, for the benefit of the masses."

How about: It's just a unique sort of douchebag that lies about their personal lives, and those of the people close to them, for his own selfish, self-aggrandizing profiteering.

Anonymous said...

Oh, there are a couple of stories that are verifiable: how about that e-mail from the stupid chick he was fucking, where she was bruised so badly that her doctors tried to get her to go to abuse counselling? And Tucker seemed to think it was funny as hell that medical professionals were telling her she had a problem.

Oh, and let's see, how about Jadedinchicago? Also, bruised and used so badly after going out with Tucker Max that she said she couldn't move her arm. Oh, and he was also driving while incredibly drunk. She too concocts elaborate excuses about why it didn't really amount to abuse. (Although at one point, when he basically hits her in the head when she calls him short, she does almost admit it.)

And then there's the Midget story -- someone claims they saw him there, where he fucks a little person just to say he did it, then continues to make fun of them on the INternet.

How fucking cool this guy is! I can see why all these people are trying to defend him. I can't wait for the stories in his next book "TUCKER GETS DRUNK AND RUNS OVER A SMALL CHILD" or "TUCKER FINALLY JUST GOES AHEAD AND STRANGLES A CHICK TO DEATH"

Anonymous said...

you've scared the multiple-personality guy away. he's probably in his room, jerking off to ease the pain.

Anonymous said...

In all honesty alot of his stories arent that crazy and thats why I believe them. Ive done some crazy things, and been friends with people who have stories that top his. I think its cool to question some of the crazy ones, but if your going to call him out at least stick to the facts and dont start making shit up, otherwise your just being a hypocrite.

Anonymous said...

some of his stories are believable, but come on? some girl shitting all over his cock and then having his videotaping friend fall out of a closet, all of them puking everywhere? crashing into a subway or whatever it was and there not even being a police report? fucking a chick and then having her pepper spray explode (this one is certified bullshit)?

the opie and anthony thing really settled it in my mind. i guess it's all a matter of opinion, but it seemed really obvious to me that he was lying; he got flustered and just looked really uncomfortable. not to mention, he didn't look or sound at all like what i expected. if a guy like tucker started telling his stories like he did on that show in a bar or whatever, most people would call him on his shit.

Anonymous said...

Cloud, what happened to your Heroic Destiny Squad website?

Also, why do you have an IMDB webpage?

Anonymous said...

Yeah i think its cool to question his stories, im just talking to the few comments on here that are just as false as they claim him to be. Like up at the top of this page for example, there are comments about him always complaining about his child hood and him being a trusfund baby. None of that is true so i was just trying to make that clear.
Hes claiming that in his new book there will be something that will put an end to people doubting his stories... i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Anonymous said...

You mean Tucker will actually produce the police report from when he drove a car into a business establishment?

Or do you mean he'll make a fake letter from Embassy Suites that shows he did in fact get fake banned from a hotel that has no record of this?

Or he'll give everybody a DVD copy of the video that his buddy puked on?

Or he'll find some friend of his to claim every single event occured exactly how he wrote them?

Or he'll find some way to change geography so his Sushi Pants story could actually have happened?

Man, I can't wait for his book.

Anonymous said...

This is from the Austin Road Trip Story, just to silence all these people who doubt Tucker whines about his unhappy childhood --

"Our first stop was a Steak & Shake somewhere outside of Charlotte, where we bonded with each other by recounting tales of our fucked up youths. I recalled a childhood colored by parental instability, multiple divorces, re-marriages (seven between my two biological parents), step-parents, constant relocation and emotional pain. No one cared about my problems, because they had already read about my father's most recent divorce in Time magazine, and didn't need any more details to know I was fucked up."

And of course the part he didn't include -- "All this lack of parental attention caused me to become an unbelievable liar to get attention. It worked for a while on the website, when nobody had actually seen me, but now that people have actually seen my pumpkin head and heard my stammering whiny voice, my career is doomed."

Anonymous said...

i'm also curious about how tucker's going to prove his stories. where did he say this exactly?

surely he doesn't mean that tattoo picture that looks fake as all hell?

Anonymous said...

The tattoo girl is real, I go to school in Pittsburgh and went to the signing, the girl was there and it was very real.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else think Cloud is swinging from the ceiling by now?

Anonymous said...

Never doubted that the tatoo girl existed -- more curious what she looked like. Is she a total sleaze queen, as one might expect?

Anonymous said...

I can't believe some idiot called Tucker an "artist". Did you mean "bullshit artist"?

Anonymous said...

no she's actually attractive despite what you'd expect. but yeah the tattoo girl is real. and that tattoo is real.

Anonymous said...

The saddest part is that you care.
The saddest part is that you care.
The saddest part is that you care.
The saddest part is that you care.

Get a life. Move on.

Matthew Fucking Harrison said...

Those of us who have been to college usually know at least one crazy guy who was always the life of the party and constantly entertained the campus with his antics. Tucker Max is not one of these people.

Tucker is nothing more than a standard belligerent, mean drunk. The type of guy who always ends up trying to start fights with people for no reason and then runs away if it actually comes to blows. The type of guy who is constantly bragging about how much pussy he gets, when no one has ever seen him so much as kiss a girl. I kept expecting Tucker to blurt out "My dad totally owns a Dealership!"

Nothing truly insane happens in this book, it’s mainly just Tucker and his buddies getting drunk and being jerks towards everyone they encounter.

In most of these stories, Tucker makes himself out to be some sort of supermack that can screw any girl in a matter of seconds. This just seems a bit off for a guy whose original claim to fame involved trying to land a girlfriend online.

I almost forgot to mention. Tucker Max has been outed as a fraud by Opie and Anthony and by the Miami Herald. None of these stories are true. Google it.

This review was blocked from Amazon.. I wonder why, seeing as any negative review of this book has been removed.

Anonymous said...

Tucker Max claims that he can recall the things he said during the evening with perfect detail due to "carrying a tape recorder" with him everywhere he travels in his little adventures.

First, if this were true, why does he not post some random recordings of his nights out to show at least SOME validity of his claims?

Simple. That don't exist. They couldn't.

He has implicitly stated he physically carries a tape recorder. He is not wired. I would assume at least many on this site have been to a bar. Bars are loud, bars are distracting. I fail to see how Tucker could record HIS statements, let alone the retorts of those he claims to "verbally end." Unless he carried it the entire night, and moved it in front of the mouth of one his victims for their response (I doubt they would be so helpful), there is realistically no way that he could make out even half of what is going on around him when he is "Tucker Max Drunk."

I'm genuinely shocked no one has asked him for some of these mythological "tapes."

Anonymous said...

This is an interview with Tucker Max by a student newspaper in Minnesota. Tucker is asked about how he can remember so many details of these drunken stories, and about his voice recorder, and gives conflicting answers before getting angry and hanging up.

How can trying to destroy this tool be considered a "get a life" activity? I can think of no more worthwhile way to spend my time that harrassing this bonehead, and hopefully preventing him from earning a living at drunkenly abusing women (and of course, lying about how cool he is).

Anonymous said...

the women he fucks, come to HIM.
he doesn't put in any game to get anyone, and i should know, ive been to his signing, he's got bitches trying to get his attention all over the place.

sad. but true.

Anonymous said...

lying about how cool he is?

yes, and the way to do that is talk about not being able to hold your shit in.

how cool.

i know you guys hate tucker max, but at least try to be consistant. first his stories are "unbelievable", then they're "mediocre and typical drunken fratboy fanfare".

Then you just start making shit up about him swiping credit cards and abusing women. Guys, it's not abuse, trust me. haha.

and to the people that say they're so happy "harassing" him? how in the fuck are making anonymous comments on a blog that some rejected repressed fag-pseudo-superhero loser created to release the angst of tucker not accepting him.. "harrassment".

I know it's hard to believe, but posting hateful comments about Tucker here, does not in any way shape or form mean you're "beating" tucker.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous (9:35), why would you expect consistency? The comments don't appear to be moderated here, so there's probably many people posting anonymously. It's unreasonable to expect that Tucker Max Haters are going to post the exact smae complaints every time.

Anonymous said...

these tucker max fans should expend more energy trying to lose that pesky virginity instead of defending a guy who doesn't give a shit whether they live or die.

Anonymous said...

How many fans, according to the last posting, decided that Tucker was full of shit because of the revelation that the Austin shitting on the floor story didn't happen? Two that I noticed, and how many others didn't post? How many "fans" were led to the Opie and Anthony video by this site -- because they sure as hell wouldn't have seen anything about it on Tucker Max's message boards?

Well, see, that's the thing that confuses me the most about Tucker Max -- he writes about being a moron, basically, whether it's true or not, and still claims that he "helps people" and obviously thinks he's the coolest creature on earth (probably just because he's fooled so many, through so little effort on his part.)

You fans are deluding yourselves. Tucker is "all about honesty" yet pretends any incident where he REALLY looks dumb -- like Opie and Anthony -- never happened. He never abuses women -- so why did a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL tell that girl in the email she needed help? Wasn't she like 17, too?

By the way it's pretty obvious that by swiping credit cards, the guy meant that he was putting the cards through a machine to pay for his book, don't you think?

Tucker Max is not the first moron to become famous for being an idiot, of course, but the nice thing about the Internet is that we can bust his censorship of the REAL Tucker Max stories. Waiting for the stories "Tucker Max Looks Like A Pudgy Fratboy Stammering Idiot On National Radio" or "Tucker Gets Ignored At a Chicago Bookstore"

Anonymous said...

the opie & anthony thing is the real kicker. not only did he look like a chump, he actually went to his website and DELETED EVERY SINGLE MENTION OF IT, INCLUDING SHIT HE HAD PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN. it's the fucking definition of orwellian. fuck him.

nicole said...

hahha oh man, the more i read the dumb shit you guys bitch and bitch and spew on about, the more i'm glad to take tucker's side.

you guys are whiny fucking cunts.

btw, it's ok to hate max, my boyfriend does, but he's never expended more than 2 seconds of thought thinking tucker was dumb, letting me know, then he gets on with his life.

if he ever did anything like this, go online, bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch till days on end... ugh. he'd sound just like you idiots.

you guys all talk in shrill-high pitched-whiny voices don't you? Because that's what I hear when i read each of your rambling screaming diatribes.

Anonymous said...

cram it you dippy cunt. nobody gives a fuck about you or your dopey opinions.

Anonymous said...

Tucker also erased any mention of his "big news" about his TV show. Remember in September, he was bragging on the board about the fact that stuff was really moving forward and "I'm just going to wait until the announcement is made in Variety to post."

Well that announcement never came, Tucker has erased any mention about this big announcement and has since stopped speaking about the big TV show.

Maybe the producers of the show also saw this site and questioned whether they had another James Frey on their hands.

Anonymous said...

Nicole, you need to open your eyes. Max is the king of all douchebags. He's posted a lot of shit about other people on his own website. Do you have a problem with that, or are you just a hypocrit?

anonymous (above), any TV producer who has met with Tucker Max in person would immediately realize that he's full of crap. one look at Tucker's tubby body and narrow shoulders would be enough for anyone to realize that Max is a con artist.

Anonymous said...

I can see that some of the dopey cunts who like him are starting to get embarrased and defensive about it; "Oh, you know, I'm a fan, but who cares that he lies, makes fun of people weaker them him and girls he has sex with, promotes drunk driving, and folded up like a cheap pup-tent when faced with Opie and Anthony? Who cares that his alleged fabulous wit and brilliant sarcasm has not at all been evident to anybody who has met him? Who cares that despite making fun of fat people and old people, he's a paunchy middle-aged guy?"

So did you fuck him, Nicole? Pretty proud of that, are you?

Anonymous said...

I was a fan until that midget story. That was one of the most hateful, hypocritical things I've ever seen. I went back and read the stories with new eyes -- I hope to fuck most of them AREN'T true, now, especially that pathetic episode where he claims to have thrown the fat girl's clothes out the window. "Tucker helps people!" indeed.

Tucker lives to "mock poseurs and fools" -- why, in the stories, does he only attack people who have done nothing to him? Old people, fat people, girls he's had sex with? Why didn't he take the opportunity to go after Anthony and Opie?

Talk about a poseur and a fool.

Anonymous said...

I'm also a smoking hot babe who loves Tucker Max.

Damn this troll shit is old.

Anonymous said...

Cloud, what happened to your heroic destiny squad website?

Anonymous said...

"if he ever did anything like this, go online, bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch and bitch till days on end... ugh. he'd sound just like you idiots.

you guys all talk in shrill-high pitched-whiny voices don't you? Because that's what I hear when i read each of your rambling screaming diatribes."

OK, for you fans going on about how we need to stop caring and get lives.. it takes what, all of two minutes to write one of these comments? Christ, even the author of this blog only updates about once a month, whereas Tucker devotes every minute of every day of his life to his dumbass website and stories. He's made a career (if you can call it that) out of telling lies and claiming them as fact; there's nothing lame or bitchy about calling him on it.

Also, I've heard Tucker talk, and I can safely say my voice is twice as deep. He sounds like a 13 year old boy.

Anonymous said...

You're a much bigger douchebag than Tucker is (and I agree he is one) because you devote your entire fucking life to attacking the guy... on the net. GET A LIFE.

Anonymous said...

attacking people on the net is only cool when tucker max or mark ebner does it.

stupid cheerleader.

Anonymous said...

hey 6:43, i don't think anyone has dedicated his/her entire life to attacking tucker max. look at the history of the blog. there's only a new post every 2 or 3 weeks or so. tucker posts way more than that on his own site. and he frequently attacks people such as dimeo, katy johnson, etc.

take your tongue out of tucker's ass.

Anonymous said...

After reading a portion of this blog I can already tell that you're very biased. Almost so much that I would say that you are envious of Tucker Max. I can't blame you, it's a sad fucking world when someone like him is idolizied because of atrocious behavior. When I first read his material I was torn between laughing my ass off, and wanting to cave his head in with a hammer.

I believe that with all of the privileges he had in his childhood, that he shouldn't be carousing and whoring around at 30. I've had a very traumatic childhood, but I would never use it as justification for stupid, immature behavior.

Furthermore you shouldn't be so riled up over this whole affair. If he is the no-talent writer everyone here claims, then there is nothing he can do (short of pulling his head out of his ass) to avoid being shot into the pit of obscurity. Like every other flavor of the day/month/year.

If you do plan on exposing TM for a fraud, I hope for your sake that you'll retain your composure, otherwise the desire to ruin him will override your objectivity. And you'll have a host of his minions accusing you of wanting to destroy TM's image because of jealousy.

The material you have on here is a good read and very compelling. I'll definitely be coming back here to read what you have to say.

Anonymous said...

I doubt that anyone here is envious of max. I think most people who comment here want to see max exposed as a liar because he's a shithead who thinks he is God's gift to the world.

Anonymous said...

There is something sad about Max, and I think we've all seen the symptoms in some of our college and highschool friends as we collectively grow older:

1) Inability to hold a job;

2) Bragging excessively about drinking and womanizing in an effort to cover for some inner-deficiencies;

3) Inability to simply grow.

Max can't shed the "care-free party boy" character that is charming when you're 20, but embarrassing for others to witness when you're older.

Yet he's making money at it, for now. But this is temporary, as he'll definitely lose most of his audience over time: The current Max core readers will mature, move on to other interests, jobs, etc., while younger potential readers won't be bothered following some old guy's dated stories (the inevitable generation gap).

Anonymous said...

I will never understand that kneejerk reaction Tucker and his minions have when they hear someone doesn't like him: "You're just jealous!"

Ridiculous. It's his FANS who are jealous of his lifestyle. The rest of us see it as utter bullshit.

Anonymous said...

I just read a story on his site about when he learned to masturbate. He claims that he lost his virginity on his 16th birthday, and a year later received his first handjob (naturally he came all over her.) Only at this point did it occur to him that he could do that to himself (he claims being from kentucky is a good excuse for not knowing how to masturbate.) He even goes so far as to say he had this conversation with the hand job girl after he realized the joys of masturbation:

Girl "Hey, can I come over?"
Tucker "Do you want to have sex?"
Girl "No--I told you, I don't want to have sex until college."
Tucker "Will you go down on me?"
Girl "No, I don't like that. But we can, you know, do the other thing. But you need to be more careful this time...where you go."
Tucker "No, just forget it. I've found someone better."

This guy is so full of shit, I would really like to find a way to expose his terrible stories for the stupid crap they are.

Anonymous said...

it's true. his writing is so fucking corny. what a hack.

Anonymous said...

The only issue I have with this website is the rampant homophobic tones. I don't like Tucker Max -- I think he's a contemptible piece of work -- but implying that he is gay is not exactly an insult.

As an attractive, intelligent woman, I find him misogynistic, homophobic, emotionally immature, and deeply insecure. It goes without saying that I don't think he's sexy either (actually, pasty frat boys who guzzle beer don't appeal to me at all. But that's just my style).

I'm not exactly sure why this website was put up, but I can say that while I sympathize with this blogger's goal, the more important thing is to address why some people think Tucker Max is so great, not point out that he might be a closeted homosexual who lies about everything. As for the parents divorcing, a lot of people (including myself) have gone through that, and to use it as an excuse for bad, rude, and malicious behavior is very much a red herring and has nothing to do with, well, anything.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you, the homophobic tone is ridiculous. People should stick to the issue at hand, even if this is the comments section of a blog.

I am a 24 year old female and I personally do not find his work offensive. This is heavily influenced by the fact I think it is all bull shit. I read his first book (someone gave it to me) a few years ago and found it mildly amusing. I was shocked to find out he has more than 1 book.

Anonymous said...

I would love to call Tucker Max and the whole TMMB out.

The problem is I don't really know how to do it. I can bombard him with emails, but I don't have the resources to do much more.

Somebody here must know a journalist looking for a good story, the TMMB would be ideal.

Anonymous said...

emmm for all of you wanting to 'call tucker out',

he's incredibly accessible in real life at all times. he frequently travels to football games, posts his whereabouts and even who he's going with

and he often hints where he's going to be at at any given time on his messageboard.

he's one of the most accessible "internet celebrities" out there, so i really have no idea why you guys still haven't done jack shit about it besides bitch and moan anonymously on this blog.

Anonymous said...

it's obvious that this website was created to make fun of tugger max and show that he is a liar. who cares if there are 'homophobic' themes in some of the comments? i personally think that some of those comments are funny. i like visiting this website to read the comments, because they are funnier than anything i've ever seen at

i don't think that tucker max is gay. maybe others do. the person who thinks that being called gay is not an insult has lived a sheltered life. people get into fights over being called gay insults all of the time. i'm sure that tucker max takes it as an insult.

Anonymous said...

Tucker isn't "gay." He just likes getting fingercuffed by Kung Fu Mike and DrunkRex every now and then.

Anonymous said...

Tucker clearly is effeminate, and he does seem to overcompensate for a lot of his issues, but I don't think he's a homosexual. I can understand if it's clearly your observation that he is gay, but if you're calling him one as an insult, I think you're missing the point.

Tucker isn't what he says he is on a lot of levels. I've played basketball against him, so I kind of know him. He states that he was an awesome hoops player. I truly disagree. He does have some skills, but none of them translate well into a game. He's usually among the third or forth tier players who get picked in our pickup games. It's funny watching him make this claim over and over, because he's overstating his level of achievement yet again, and I find that just to be a symptom of his malaise.

I've gone out with him twice after games. He's affable enough, but he's a joke after 3 or 4 beers. He's 30 years old and he still counts how many drinks he has, he refers to himself in the 3rd person and is obviously a bullshit artist. I can't stand people who put on a front, and Tucker is doing it to the nth degree. Some people might think this is cool, but in polite circles, he's just another big mouthed asshole. Over the course of the evening he kept bringing up the fact that he has a NY Times best seller. It kind of got old, but I did go out and buy his book to read it.

I wasn't impressed. I think his level of writing is slightly above Penthouse Letters, if only that his stories always have him as a central character. After meeting him to play hoops again, I knew the book was bullshit. He's not that quick witted in real life. I know this couldn't be the same guy who was the star of his book. In the bars in NY, Tucker didn't hook up for shit, because we weren't in his home turf, which seems to be college aged bars up above 23rd street. That's good for him, except he's 31 now, and he's becoming transparent to even then. On the 2nd night we hung out, he struck out all night, but ended up hooking up with a girl Tucker yelled at an hour earlier for being too fat. That seemed to be the level of quality he was used to.

Anonymous said...

all the comedy writers in the world couldn't come up with something as funny as that last post

Anonymous said...

I don't believe the fellow who says he played b-ball against Tucker. Tucker Max is a great bastketball player - after all, he said that he was, and he never lies.

We all know that Tucker chose Duke Law School because he still had a year of NCAA eligibility left and Coach K desperately wanted him to play for the Blue Devils. Cherokee Parks and Bobby Hurley even partied with Tucker Max to convince him to attend Duke (and Tucker drank them both under the table and banged all of their bitches). It was only that strained hamstring that Tucker got from doing all the cheerleaders that prevented him from joining the team and being a first team all-ACC player.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the post on Tucker Max being very accessible. The only problem is for those of us who don't live anywhere near NY, or any of the places he travels.

If I ever get the chance, I would love to show up at one of his bars/parties/book signings with my own recording devices, but even then I think we need more than one of those instances.

Anonymous said...

11/16/2006 7:46 AM,

THANK YOU. Finally someone acknowledged my point and didn't bitch and moan about calling tucker out.

To all of you other else who aren't getting it. Tucker Max doesn't hide from the world, he is EXTREMELY accessible at all times, there are an infinite amount of real life chances to call him out. So do it goddamnit.

Anonymous said...

11/16/2006 5:30 AM,

nice work. it's pretty funny that tucker plays himself up to be some kind of elite athlete despite being short, scrawny and (i'm guessing) slow.

Anonymous said...

People are just jealous, or offended, by Max.

Those that target him are either jealous they can't be like him, or they are thumpers that live by the good book and find what he does a sin...or some semblance thereof.

He's a man doing what men do.

I feel sorry for you that feel men should be sensitive and understanding towards the plite of women. Fuck that...drop you panties, clean the house, get in the kitchen and make me some PIE, and shut the fuck up. Women want to be all equal and shit, yet they are women, the weaker sex. Max just lays it out plain and simple. High-five Max!

The world, and the US especially, is a weaker place since women's rights have come along. We are human, we war, we fight, we conquer. Women in the position to make decisions has made us weak. We need more Tucker Max's to make us men strong again. We would have won in Vietnam, and would have won, by now, in Iraq, if it weren't for the softening by women. Women, children, hospitals, mosques? Too bad, casualties of war.

Tucker Max is the power of men. The power that has been long lost. He gives me hope in a stronger man for tommorow!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous (above), I hope that your post was a joke.

Anonymous said...

Why do you clain Tucker's tour wasn't a success? I helped him with the BU one, and showed up at 5:05pm for the 5pm signing, assuming there'd be like 20-30 people there. Trust me dude, at least 150 were there. People were literally out the door, sitting on the floor, standing in the back... it was pretty crazy. I went to the Bill Simmons signing 1 block from Fenway Park, and trust me, Tucker had twice as many people.

Also, he isn't lying about the book deal... it's in the news. You should really loosen up. Go edit wikipedia or something, but find something better to do with your time then rip on someone you have never met.

Anonymous said...

Another thing, Opie and Anthony called him a liar. They then shut off his headphones because they're scared. They didn't prove any facts, or even attempt an argument other than "uhhhh this is hard to believe". You say people are on Tucker's nuts? If you believe Opie and Anthony despite the fact that they didn't even make a point, then who is the real ass-kisser?

Anonymous said...

"Tucker Max is the power of men. The power that has been long lost. He gives me hope in a stronger man for tommorow!"

Yes. There's a fair bit of this Iron John cunt-splutter on the TMMB, though usually it's more carefully worded to avoid accusations of dick-licking and other douchery. If nothing else, theories about Tucker Max as an authentic, trail-blazing masculinist provide an entertaining alternative to those anecdotes about him shitting himself and throwing public tantrums.