I went on a book signing tour once with an internet celebrity that made six figures, and he insisted on pulling a chew-and-screw at every Cracker Barrel restaurant we saw on the road. I didn't even realize that we were doing it until the 5th time.
Internet Celebrity: "Dude, let's get out of here."
Me: "OK, did the waitress bring the bill around?"
Internet Celebrity: "No dude, let's just go."
Me: "...what? You want to chew-and-screw?!"
Internet Celebrity: "Um, Mike...we do that every time we eat breakfast at one of these places."
I was so nervous walking out of that restaurant that in my rush to get out the door I bumped into some elderly guy with a cane, throwing him off balance and into some vintage toy display, leaving him on the floor with other patrons trying to help him up as I scurried out to the Ford Explorer. Fucking internet celebrities, they're like coupons with feet.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Another Real-Life Tucker Max Story
Kungfu Mike (Tucker Max's friend who got beaten up by cloud Starchaser last year) posted a real-life Tucker Max story recently. Tucker Max claims to make over $10,000 per month from his website and recently bragged about getting a $300,000 advance for the next pile of rubbish he calls a book. However, despite this supposed wealth, Tucker Max apparently ripped off a few restaurants and waitresses a few months ago by eating and then leaving without paying: