In the "Foxfield weekend" story, he claims he was mid-coitus when a pepper spray can that was in the girl's purse discharged. Funny, but definitely fiction. Pepper spray cans have a spring-loaded guard that you must lift and slide your finger under (at which point it takes several pounds of downward pressure to spray it). At the very least, they have a safety lock you must slide over and then down (similar to what you'd find on a "child-proof" lighter). To suggest it could go off accidentaly from someone lying down on a purse is laughable.
From Here's A November 2006 Real-Life Tucker Max Story:
I actually have had the grave misfortune of dealing with TM and know first hand about his last story where he supposedly 'fucked a midget'. I assure you, this did NOT happen. I know this b/c it was MY place of residence, in MY room, I lived in a loft with NO ceilings, and yet there was not a single peep. Of the 8 people that were there (he conveniently left me out of the story b/c I talked shit back to him, and wouldn't let him fuck me) standing NEXT DOOR to the bedroom with NO ceilings in the kitchen drinking beer, not a one heard a fuckin' sound. We even propped up chairs to peep over - he was on one side, the little person on the other, not even touching. Listen, I know my bed. It woke me up when I had to rollover in the night, and it sure as hell made noise with constant giration, a la fornication. The fact that he claims to have 'hit her cervix' would have surely let out a yelp, or some indicative that something was actually happening.
After about 10-15 min. he walks out and announces, "Anyone who's ever fucked a midget, raise your hand!" I went to see where this midget had gone, to find her completely passed out, with clothing still on. So unless he raped her, he didn't fuck her. And yet he touts it as some badge of honor.
It's one thing to be intolerant of people's bullshit and call them out on it, it's a complete other thing when you come into MY house and treat me like shit when I've been a pretty respectable host. One borders on hilarity, the other on narcissism. The only reason he stayed the entire weekend was b/c he was buddies with my roomie. I subsequently stayed away that weekend, and told him to "fuck off and die" when he left.
I know I shouldn't be wasting any more time with this worthless cretin, but it's nice to know that at least, I'm not alone.
By Anonymous, at 12/26/2006 11:38 PM
519 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 519 Newer› Newest»Looks like some people must be posting links to his members informing them of this site. Posted on his board today by Tucker
"The first major change we are making is to make who left a rep point viewable.
I am going to do this because I am tired of the trolls spreading all kinds of bullshit and not having to face their actions. If you have something to say about someone, say it with your [fake messageboard] name behind it."
i love it. he was always telling people to quit whining about rep and anonymous rep especially, now its come back to bite him in the ass.
tucker you pussy, you can't do shit about this board. eat it you two-bit, talentless hack.
A great peek into the Tucker psyche:
"1. HEY DUMBASSES--I know this is the internet, but we have yet to become a large, faceless corporation. Everything that gets done, is done because I said so and you can ask me about it directly. I changed it to 25 form 100 because thats what I wanted to do.
2. You don't have any say. At all. This is not a Web 2.0 company--we are a Web 3.0 company. Web 2.0 was user created content and social decision making, Web 3.0 is good editing. I am giving you a thread to make suggestions and comments because I do value them and I use them at times, but that is all they are--suggestions and comments. The only say you get is the ultimate one: whether or not to come here at all.
3. You can stop bitching about the colors. They are not changing. For a LONG time, if ever.
4. Lots of kinks are still left to work out, so be patient."
In other words, this is all about me, me, ME!!! I am the only person that matters and I don't care about your opinions (#s 1-2). But, please don't leave, I need you to justify my fleeting grasp at fame. It will be everything you want, just don't leave. (#4)
What's amazing is Tucker's simultaneous love-hate relationship he has with most of his "fans". They're not allowed to have ANY opinion other than "Tucker is great and whatever he does is the BEST. THING. EVER." At the same time, he can't afford to alienate them because then his "celebrity" status disappears. The real/only reason he has a potential tv show is Comedy Central is banking on Tucker being able to turn his fans into viewers. In essence, they're buying a block of viewers through Tucker (or so they hope). If Tucker alienates or pushes too many of his fans away, then his whole appeal and selling point is moot.
It's sad, Tucker wants to act like he doesn't care, but he needs his lackeys far more than they need him.
so it sounds like the comments here are getting to him. that was the whole purpose of setting up this website, wasn't it?
what is a rep point? what is he talking about?
You guys are so mean, like seriously so mean. Just because I anally boned some fat bitch doesn't justify this sort of roasting. I mean I'm 31 and I hit on 18 year old girls but gimme a break, the only type of woman over the age of 20 who wants me is fucked in the head. It's okay though because I'm an egomaniac with parents who never really loved me because I'm obviously a cretin so I take it out on you. But please, love me. SOMEONE love me besides the Bunny who is batshit crazy and totally ugly. I mean, honestly, why can't anyone love me besides Erin, who looks like her two dogs mushed together. I don't get it. I'm so lonely. Guess I'll go fuck that fat clown bitch who was hitting me with pies the other day.
what tucker forgets is that neither he nor anyone affiliated with him has any talent whatsoever. the idea that they can provide good editing is laughable. they have no grasp on what makes a story good or readable. the content of rudius media suffices as proof.
Back to the whole "Jada issue":
She's a sanctimonious pain-in-the-ass.
Case in point: The woman bitches about other women not tending to their "nether regions" (ie: going natural, not shaving, etc) because she thinks it's incredibly important to be meticulously groomed just in case you have banging sex yet she hasn't bothered to get that HAIRY FUCKING MOLE removed.
she's under the impression that it's cute or something, but the fact is it's just a big, hairy, disgusting mole
Tucker is a textbook narcissist. He is a legend only in his own mind. He despises anyone he has to rely on for attention, hence the love/hate relationship with his fans.
he's also a textbook queer. that is, photos of his worn anus are in many medical textbooks.
HILARIOUS!
Isn't this the guy that Cloud beat up?
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=72369135
The fact that Jada is frequently writing about how she's better in bed than other women, more comfortable with her sexuality than most women, more clever, has guys coming to her with their problems etc is proof that she's threatened by other women and totally insecure. I've known more than my share of Jadas in my life.
1. No friends of the female persuasion because she's too insecure and competitive.
2. If she does have female friends they're not attractive.
3. The attractive ones don't stay friends with her for long because they get annoyed by her insecurity and competitiveness.
4. She'll fuck you and tell you she's okay with being just friends but when you start dating someone new she'll get clingy and jealous and tell you why your new girlfriend isn't right for you.
5. She'll try to get you to admit to things about your new girlfriend that bother you so she can throw them back in your face when you want to spend time with your girlfriend instead of on the phone with her.
6. When you tell her that your new girlfriend doesn't appreciate the way she keeps IMing you and e-mailing you and you ask her to kindly stop she gets pissed and tells you that your girlfriend is "just jealous" and "insecure."
7. She'll blow up at you one night then IM you the next day and concoct some drama or excuse about why she got so angry and do you forgive her.
8. When you've finally had enough of her and avoid her all together she'll send you nasty e-mails telling you how you used her and how badly you treated her and how she's so much better than you.
9. A month or two will go by and she'll send you an e-mail trying to make peace and tell you she was going through a rough time and that's why she acted like a psycho.
2/13/2007 11:53 AM, thank you. your praise is much appreciated.
Today I had a late lunch in a corner pizza joint. It happened to have a big glass window right on the sidewalk. As it wasn't too busy, I decided to ask the owner what he'd do if somebody backed a car into the glass window and thereby completely destroyed it.
After his "I'd beat the shit out of him" comment, he said that he *would* report it to the police. He said that the damage from such an incident could easily reach several thousand dollars and that he would file a claim with his insurance carrier. His carrier would require him to file a report with the police before they'd review a claim based on an act of vandalism.
This did it for me. Tucker is full of shit on at least this part of the "donuts" story.
that much is obvious. while it's possible tucker changed a lot of details to protect his own ass, he loses credibility when he said he wiped the fucking fingerprints off the car and also called his buddy as he was running, even though he says he was black-out drunk more or less. give me a break. he thought to have his hanky with him? nobody came along in this time?
Another one of the TMMB's tucker-suckers posts (this one calls himself 'Corruputer'):
Summer of 2003 I was finishing up my undergraduate degree and having the time of my life. I had a no stress job, I was able to go to the gym 3 times a week, grappling (brazilian jiu jitsu) practice 4 times a week, and party all weekend.
I'd like to give a left hook followed by a muay thai clinch knee to the stomach of all the stupid women wanting to get pregnant/adopt kids because it's currently the hip thing to do in Hollywood.
As the new generation of sports fans pile into BJJ/grappling gyms you are going to see the reverse of this eventually happen. Grappling is technical and you can't appreciate it until you do it. With the amount of academies opening up I give it five or six years before the ADCC is on PPV.
I started training grappling, primarily brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ) 5 years ago, and ended up making the transition to no gi training about 3 years in.
South Florida front desk girls at gyms- Like waitresses... they fuck everyone. They are not spectacular in bed. After being fired from the gym for fucking the manager ,or not fucking the manager they end up working the front desk at the local tanning salon.
I just played in my first rugby game on saturday. what a great experience. I've had about 6 practices and started on saturday at lock. From the international games that the guys have given me to watch I am definately a very small lock. I'm 6 foot 195 lbs.
Book- Fight club just because its phenomenal
Series- Entourage (Of course the whole first season only lasts about 3 hours but I can watch that show over and over again.) Its anal sex at the Gold house tonight....
Movie - Snatch ( I catch something new every time)
Album - AC/DC Back in Black (yes all AC/DC songs sound the same but hey i'm on a deserted island so everything is gonna get repetitive anyway.
My first semester of undergrad I lived in a two story dorm. The women on the bottom floor and the guys on the second floor, and no elevator. Me and 3 other guys ended up being the only guys on the womens floor. Why you ask?
Well the week before moving in date, I dislocated my right ankle. I was on crutches and since the dorm had no elevator the housing office had to put me and 3 other guys on the 1st floor with the women.
When I was an undergrad student I used to frequent the cheetah in Pompano Beach. One night I ran into a girl that I had fucked at a party and was currently in my geology class (rocks for jocks).
I have had numerous encounters with the roast beef curtain vagina, which if kept clean is something I can overlook if the woman is somewhat attractive and I'm drunk.
It seems Corrupter is very manly. I'm sure his mentor is proud.
ac/dc, snatch and entourage. you can tell his guy has discerning taste.
2/13/2007 5:13 PM
wow. that's quite an extensive description. nice that the random pizza owner took the time to tell you in detail what he would do. hahaha
Now they've recruited a bunch of no talent douchebags who do nothing but whine about their terrible overprivledged childhoods. Do these fuckers have no shame?
The girl who said it was "(her) residence" where the midget story took place is a homeless heroin addict, pathological liar, and former stripper (and very likely prostitute). She has bounced from place to place for at least the last year, having sex with men in exchange for a place to sleep.
Umm, actually I'm a general manager of a clothing/tattoo shop, tried heroin once in high school (over 6 years ago), and live very happily - and quite stably - with my two kitties. I moved in with said person to explore another city, and seized an opportunity to do so. Oh, and I've been with the same guy since this whole thing went down...
Funny, not once did you discredit anything I said, though. Only to throw unsubstantiated insults. Bravo!
So, why did the police show up the following day b/c the midget freaked out and had no idea what had happened the night before? Surely, if it were consentual and she were cognizant, no one should be knocking on the door, right? Assuming that anything happened at all.
You don't have a leg to stand on, you skanky, tattoed, midget-backing, smack whore. Shut up and go suck TM's midget cock.
tucker max raped a midget. that's pretty sad. i think it was just a way for his deep-seated pedophilic urges to manifest themselves, personally.
No one ever accused Anonymous 2/13 6:53 am of reading very carefully.
The police showed up? Do tell. Someone should inform the midget victim of TM's story, of which she figures centrally.
Allow me to hijack this comment stream for a moment: Is there anything more painful than reading one of Bunny's insipid posts? Its been mentioned before, BUT COME ON, she has no talent whatsoever. Though she fancies herself somesort of artiste, she makes the most facially obvious observations about life around her then throws in some sapphic reference just to seem "edgy". WE GET IT, YOU LIKE GIRLS. Ten years ago, that would have seemed avant garde, now its just shameless me-tooism.
God I loathe her writing, I must hate myself to keep going back to her blog.
um, I agree to an extent, but "facially"?
farcically? facetiously? Or did you really mean facially?
I meant "facially". As in lacking depth or insight. Its a litle redundant, but so is Bunny.
[Anon 10:3] meant 'facially,' and that's correct.
So tell us to what extent do you NOT agree...?
bunny is the second most talentless person on rudius; second only her to sister. i seriously doubt there is a more asinine site on the entire internet.
i feel bad for the ugly skank though; all this bisexual shit is so transparent and obvious. you have to pity someone so desperate to gets guys to notice her. very sad.
I'm not grooving on facially. Facial means pertaining to the face. Shallow, superficial, trivial, vapid.... "Facially" is being used incorrectly in your post, as Bunbuns does not blog about her face very much.
I agree to the extent that her posts are many times vapid and contrived, but I think the main reason behind her image-making is to impress Mr. Max. Theyre locked in a funky-ass co-depenent relationship, and she's parked herself in the sapphic zone in order to put herself on ice for him. She's putting herself in a holding pattern for the best years of her life and it's a waste.
Can someone explain to me how Bunny and her sister get the traffic they do? I don't get it.
they get no traffic.
has anybody pointed out the humor in tucker max, the self-proclaimed "premier partier of his generation", never having smoked pot? it must because he has such high morals of course.
to amend my post above: shallow, superficial, facetious, vapid, trivial are all words that I think you meant to use. Facial means pertaining to the face, do not use it to mean superficial. What's with the kids these days hijacking words for their own purposes?
Perhaps my use of "facially" wasn't the best choice of words. I meant to imply that there is no depth or analysis to her observations, that she takes note of the most superficial and obvious aspects (i.e. the nose on your face). I still think "facially" is applicable, but a better choice of words may have been warranted.
That aside, I do wonder how Bunny and especially Trixie get any traffic on their sites (the same could be siad for all but about 3 of the Rudius writers). Does anyone have any statistics on their viewership? They're awful, despite their commentators' (which seem to be about the same dozen or so people) laudatory posts saying how great/deep/insightful/funny they are. I mean Bunny's bad, but Trixie is just putrid. I couldn't hate myself enough to read her drivel even if you paid me (though every 6 months or so someone on the TMMB will say what a great writer Trixie is or how awesome some post was so I will foolishly follow the link to her site on to wish that I was blind to spare me the horror of her writing.)
I'd rank the Rudius writers, but there's no point. Most of them I don't read. Tucker can't "discover" talent for shit. The only readable (and the one good one) Rudius sites are those by people whose writing careers existed prior to being brought into the Tucker orbit.
Rudius is a ship waiting to sink. The cast of writers is abysmal. BCWoods is funny, DevilMonkey is amazing, Philalawyer is semi-entertaining but preachy and extremely derivative of HST. With that, I've run out of all the good things I could say about Rudius.
If Tucker Max's Wikipedia entry gets any smaller, it's going to just read "Tucker Max, b. 1975."
He's whittled that thing down to the size of his tiny penis, but he still can't get them to remove the link to the Anthony and Opie radio show clip. Man. You'd almost feel sorry for him.
Almost.
For all those that think that Tucker tells the truth I offer this, verbatim from his telling of the Absinthe Donuts story:
"I get out of the car. I am INSIDE of a donut shop. With the car. Shattered glass crunches under my feet as I investigate the damage. There are broken and fractured tables scattered all across the store. The car has only a few scratches. I am in shock and completely unsure about what to do. I am have never driven a car into a store before."
And yet, we're supposed to believe that no police report was ever filed and there is no proof of this whatsoever through some strange quirk of fate.
I've said it before and I'll repeat it: I don't care if Tucker's stories aren't completely true. What bothers me is that he tries to act as if they are 100% factual and true. And its bullshit. And the reason its bullshit is because its that, absent a pepper spray cannister going off or driving through a window or having a three-way puke fest over shit, Tucker's stories are in no way unique. Tucker's schtick is that his life is just that much wilder than yours and he offers escapist fantasy. The thing is, he's lying and his stories are just that: fantasy.
I question whether he is newsworthy enough to deserve a wikipedia entry in the first place. He certainly never should have had a long entry like he did until recently.
Tucker has a thread on the TMMB discussing whether there is any such thing as "bad publicity" anymore. Wonder if Opie & Anthony will get a mention?
Latka
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 54
Validation Points: 10
Originally Posted by Tucker Max
The focus is pretty straight forward: Is there such thing as bad press anymore? Look at our idiot celebrity culture, how pretty much anyone can do anything, and no matter how awful it is, as long as they go into rehab or just act fabulous, it doesn't matter anymore. What is your take on the idea of bad press in Hollywood?
Also, Bill Dawes is auditioning for David Spade's Showbiz Show and has to rant for a couple of minutes on this topic. What/who do you think he should rant about? Why?
Let's ask Opie and Anthony.
Wow! I cannot believe Latka hasn't been banned. Here's another post made by him:
There is no point in dissenting on this board because intelligent debate does not exist here.
The peanut gallery will misunderstand what you've said and attack you on faulty grounds. The mods will rip you to shreds with ad hominen attacks. There's no true consideration of anyone's arguments.
(Attacks, by the way, can come in the form of red dotting, which consequently damages your credibility. Which is another thing: What the fuck does credibility matter? That's just the appeal to authority fallacy. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.)
That seems way too ballsy to be a real post, doesn't it? A planted fake perhaps...?
it's an inside job.
I'm Latka and I'm not a mod, but surprisingly bcwoods gave me a green dot.
I'm sure BC is just edgy because he lost all his rep points.
he may also be edgy because he's not talented.
but he is talented, so I guess he's not edgy.
your father tells me you are the most talented in the family at taking his 15 inch cock in your seasoned anus. even more so than your brother who is known as "the black hole".
Everyone just needs to keep posting negative rep to every kid on that board and sign it with this URL. Seems to have worked on that guy that is a paralegal, Missel Gyny. Paralegals are like stewardesses, they are either all women....or gay.
Why do you all think that Rudius Media is a source for publishing other hack writers? Maybe its because Tucker realized that he has played out his little circus and needs to rely on other talent to keep his little circle jerking, cockgobbling website and messageboard alive. Without the talent of some of the other writers he has brought in, his site would be as much of a bore as Maddox's site.
cause they suck. they're all long-winded and dull. i was reading that devilmonkey for a few weeks, but it just got monotonous with all his "then we smoked some pot and were like laughing at everybody". he probably smoked a lot of pole too if you know what i'm saying. i read one thing by that philalawyer guy, thought it was pretty good but haven't been back. the rest suck a 10 inch dick. it kills me that tucker's now linking mark cuban in a pathetic attempt to try and get a link back. don't think so buddy
two more revelations from our pal tucker:
1. he went to "the hardest undergrad in the country"
2. he majored in "a hard science"
does this guy ever let facts get in the way of pumping up his drastically over-inflated ego?
seriously, i want some independent verification of tucker's claims. particularly about economics being a "hard science" since almost nobody well-versed in the natural sciences would make such a claim.
Traffic stats for tuckermax.com:
Where do people go on tuckermax.com?
messageboard.tuckermax.com - 93%
tuckermax.com - 7%
Source:
http://hidebehind.com/X48D0E31A
(Alexa.com)
It seems like not so many people are reading his stories any more. Without people entertaining themselves on his boards his "company" would have some problems (traffic/ad revenues). All other Rudius sites combined are not even close in traffic.
5:12 PM, I was actually going to post the exact same thing. Its especially ironic given the way Tucker always blurs the distinction between the two. From a number of his comments, one would think that all of his traffic is to the tuckermax.com site not the TMMB (he even refers to them as "distinct entities"). Truth is, no one is going to his site, all of his "traffic" is to the messageboard. Also kind of explains why he doesn't have any of the other Rudius sites link to the TMMB, doesn't want people accessing it that way and cutting into his page views (small though that number would be).
All that is even more ironic in light of his recent proclomation that Web version 3.0 would be all about editing, rather than ver 2.0 which was all about building online communities (his words). He also pointedly mentioned that ver 3.0 was a rejection of all his fans. Funny how Web version whatever-Tucker-claims-it-is-today is always what he's into since his prior attempts didn't pay off the way he thought.
anybody with a brain can recognize how truly full of shit he is. the guy's a clueless, delusional cunt who likes to spew hyperbole that always proves itself to be bullshit.
i can't wait till rudius collapses. i will howl with laughter.
Economics isn't like majoring in phys ed, but it's more social science than hard science. But that's irrelevant... wikipedia claimed he actually had a 3 year degree in "Law, Letters, and Society" which sounds as hard as my dick when I see nude pics of Rosie Odonnell.
Actually, the exact nature of Tucker's degree seems to be up for debate.
Some background: A degree in economics is usually a bachelor of arts degree. It is a social science, but one of the toughest social sciences and closest to the hard sciences (I was thisclose to getting one of my degrees in economics but econometrics really fucked me up and I dropped it). A degree in econ, especially from the U of Chicago given its reputation in the field, IS an extremely marketable and versatile degree to have, its basically like a finance or business degree but (1) harder and (2) more theoretical.
All that said, a degree in economics is rather good. But there's a substantial dispute that Tucker actually majored in ECONOMICS as opposed to majoring in Arts, Letters, and Society". I don't know the U of Chicago that well, but that seems like a more generalized humanities degree. It is certainly possible that Tucker could have focused heavily on economics within that discipline, but that doesn't mean that he got a degree in economics. Someone has posted around here that it is impossible to complete the economics degree from UofC in less than 4 years so Tucker may be (at best) generous with his description of what he majored in.
In a nutshell, this is typical Tucker. Like his stories, it's not an outright fabrication, but rather a massaging and exaggeration of the truth. Tucker is in effect attemptin to make himself look better by claiming more than is warranted by the facts. His curriculum may have focused heavily on economics and econ theory, but that is not the same as having a degree in economics.
Please forgive the spelling errors in my post immediately above. DAMN YOU BOURBON!
Was reading the Rudius mission statement (??) or whatever when I came across this
There is no 'average' amount of revenue that a Rudius Media site generates since it is solely based on traffic. The highest grossing site, TuckerMax.com, generates gross revenue in the low five-figures every month, but that site generates a huge amount of traffic. The lowest grossing make a few dollars a month.
Since tuckermax.com (well, actually the TMMB) is the only site that gets any real traffic, kinda makes Tucker's claims of amazing success with Rudius seem a little dubious.
Please refrain from any 'alcohol-consumption while posting' references (ie sorry about the spelling I was drunk, etc). 93% of the threads on the TMMB already do that.
Jada is an ugly person, inside and out.
Which one of these guys is Tucker again?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN9yYzPG9DQ
Tucker has just said in the Levinson thread that most Rudius sites are designed to become movies or TV shows. What the hell? Is Tucker just going to claim other authors' work as his intellectual property and capitalize on it?
Is he out of his mind? Why would he think anyone wants to see a movie or TV show based on any of those people?
12:27 PM:
Every time I'm about ready to give Tucker a break and say "He isn't really that bad, he's not truly that delusional, he understands how the game is played" I go and read his post about how most of the Rudius sites are geared towards being developed into tv shows.
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK!
Given that its already been almost 4 years since Tucker went (semi) big-time with the MTV profile and Miss Vermont lawsuit and he STILL doesn't have a show on tv, but that's coming soon!! Just like political pundits saying "the next 6 months in Iraq will be determinative", Tucker is endlessly telling us that his big break is right over the horizon. At this point, it ain't gonna happen. Let alone for all the other Rudius sites, none of which get even 1/10th of the traffic he does (and that's only the messageboard). How in God's name can he sit there and say that with a straight face?
Why do people keep bringing up Jada on this site? She has her own blog and I think someone started one about her like this one. This blog is about Tucker.
jadaisadirtycumdumpster.blogspot.com
Here's what I believe what is going to happen with Tucker's show.
Tucker's pilot script gets rejected by CC. They decide to take him off his own project and hire some real writers to come up with something workable for television.
This takes the ball out of Tucker's hands. Although he'll probably get credit for "writing" them, my guess is that the pilot episode is written by somebody else entirely.
Pilot gets made, Tucker doesn't comment on it whatsoever, other than to say it gets made.
If the pilot doesn't get picked up, Tucker blames the "idiot" writers that the producers hired (not his choice btw) and they ruined his work. If the pilot does get picked up, it was all Tucker from start to finish.
Of course he might blow a fuse once they take his toy away from him, although he won't say anything on the boards.
In the end you must realize any success that the show has is ALL BECAUSE OF TUCKER, and if the show doesn't materialize, it's BECAUSE OF SOMEBODY ELSE.
The best part about the TV show, is that if it doesn't get picked up, he's basically done. Where does he go if the show doesn't get picked up? I think he made a huge mistake going to CC with the show, as their record of success is mostly miss. His work is best suited for a channel like FX, who have taken chances in the past with more "racy" television. He's going up against other shows that have much more well known names and faces (Sarah Silverman is a most recent example), and then he just doesn't stack up. I think CC and his producers are hoping that his next book is a hit and he gets some more press, so they can try and get some viewers through name recognition. If the book fails, don't expect Tucker's show to see the light of day. They're hedging their bets that it's a success, but I'm guessing otherwise.
I can't see him getting a lot of work out in Hollywood because he's not the type of guy who can play the game at a higher level. Most real writers recognize Tucker for exactly what he is, a guy who sort of stumbled upon success accidentily, not through actual talent. Sure Tucker has some sort of success, but nobody really cares outside of his fans.
Let's see what happens with his book, that is what is going to be the key on whether or not the show gets offf the ground.
Is that you PWJ? Actually, I think what you said is exactly what will happen. Tucker will be eased out of the project and taken over by "professionals" in Hollywood, all the while Tucker remains attached as some sort of executive producer. If the show gets picked up, Tucker will claim all the credit to the TMMB, CC will go along with it because they're hoping to land a substantial portion of the board as his audience. If it fails, Tucker obviously will blame Hollywood for "not getting it". He will then go on to proclaim Internet ver 5,000,000 and declare that whatever he's doing is the next evolution and will replace the dinosaur-like "old media".
Another logical inconsistency in one of Tucker's stories: the one where he goes to the "celebrity party" and insults Mark Wahlberg and some others. Doubtful in and of itself, given his cringeworthy performance with Opie and Anthony.
But the "punchline" is where the girl who takes him to the party makes fun of him for not picking up girls, and he pulls her panties out of his pocket and hands them to her in front of a group of other people, conveniently having fucked her a few hours before.
Even if it was true, why wouldn't she put her panties on again afterwards? Why would she leave them behind. . . other than to be a convenient plot device in a bullshit Tucker Max story?
I know why: because it never happened. None of his bullshit ever happened.
I don't think Tucker would ever fuck with Mark Wahlberg without recieving a real life beat down.
Is that story in his piece of shit book?
If he did insult Marky Mark, I'm sure Wahlberg thought to himself "Why should I waste one minute of my charmed life with his pasty, fat, obnoxious shithead?" If anything, I'm sure Tucker was very disappointed that Mark Wahlbert didn't play into his game. That would've validated Tucker's need to be somebody. By ignoring him, Wahlberg did the right thing. I seriously doubt the guy who has hung out with Estella Warren would waste one second with a never-was.
Besides, it would have been a two-sound fight - the sound of Wahlberg's fist, and the sound of Tucker's flab hitting the floor.
^
Jesus Christ, someone is trying to spam this blog to get a higher SERP rank. Morons.
Read the Mark Wahlberg story, where he's proud of himself for trying to insult him. Then read his book tour blog (or the message board) where he turns cry baby when anybody looks at him wrong.
In order to read that story you have to buy the book. Why the hell would you want to buy that piece of shit unless you are a high school kid?
The story with mark wahlberg is on the website
Yes, the Mark Wahlberg story is on the website. Here it is:
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_goes_to_celebrity_party.phtml
What a load of bullshit.
There's no way that dipshit talked shit to Mark Wahlberg without getting his ass handed to him. The part about Shannon Elizabeth and David Alan Grier is also bullshit. Did the regulars on his webiste actually believe this garbage?
First off, Tucker is nothing to Mark Wahlberg, and the fact is, Wahlberg treated him as such. If this is how Tucker thinks he's going to get ahead in Hollywood, by insulting established people with heavy duty agents, well then I hope he starts brushing up on passing the bar, because his career in entertainment outside of TMMB would be done.
I'm kind of thinking that this will eventually happen. Tucker insults the wrong person, perhaps the girlfriend or boyfriend of somebody higher up on the food chain, a few phone calls are made and voila, Tucker finds out that he's been dropped by his agency the next day, his CC pilot is cancelled without even a script and he's flying coach back to NYC with his tail between his legs. This happens more than you'd think in Hollywood and Tucker is setting himself up for a fall.
He's almost too predictible for this not to happen eventually.
woah, 280+ comments.....
time for Cockface to make up another Tucker Max-bashing post!
cockface? i think you're confused. your brother doesn't post on this blog.
Remember the episode of the "Simpsons" where Homer got really drunk at a party and acted like a boor, but in his mind he pictured himself as the suave, debonair "life of the party"?
Substitute Tucker for Homer and you'll see where his stories come from.
PWJ's comment pretty much puts the nail in Tucker's coffin. He says that he and Tucker's other friends have stopped posting on the message board because they have other, more pressing, responsibilities to attend to....families, jobs, etc. I think this is the case with most people once they're out of their early 20s. If you still have time to be posting continuously on a message board that revolves around approval and "rep points" you're probably unemployed and have no social life.
Unfortunately, if your audience is predominantly 14-21 year olds that outgrow you, you lose the demographic before they can potentially generate
$$$ for you.
I live in NYC and actually saw Tucker walking down 23rd St. last fall. He was dressed in a frumpy tee shirt and dragging a huge suitcase behind him. I recognized him right away and slowed down my pace, made eye contact and gave him an utterly disgusted look. He seemed to be visibly uncomfortable that someone was looking at him and his eyes were darting about in a sort of crazy way. I guess it's not as easy to be confrontational when you're not hiding behind your computer screen. He seemed like a pudgy little coward. Definitely not the alpha male type that he thinks he is.
PWJ's comment pretty much puts the nail in Tucker's coffin. He says that he and Tucker's other friends have stopped posting on the message board because they have other, more pressing, responsibilities to attend to....families, jobs, etc. I think this is the case with most people once they're out of their early 20s. If you still have time to be posting continuously on a message board that revolves around approval and "rep points" you're probably unemployed and have no social life.
Unfortunately, if your audience is predominantly 14-21 year olds that outgrow you, you lose the demographic before they can potentially generate
$$$ for you.
I live in NYC and actually saw Tucker walking down 23rd St. last fall. He was dressed in a frumpy tee shirt and dragging a huge suitcase behind him. I recognized him right away and slowed down my pace, made eye contact and gave him an utterly disgusted look. He seemed to be visibly uncomfortable that someone was looking at him and his eyes were darting about in a sort of crazy way. I guess it's not as easy to be confrontational when you're not hiding behind your computer screen. He seemed like a pudgy little coward. Definitely not the alpha male type that he thinks he is.
Yeah right, then you immediately went home and filled out the hookup application you whore.
oh no does Cocksmoke McBeefdrapes not have anything new to make up about Tucker??? LOL.
oh no does Cocksmoke McBeefdrapes not have anything new to make up about Tucker??? LOL.
oh no does Cocksmoke McBeefdrapes not have anything new to make up about Tucker??? LOL.
Did you just say 'LOL?'
That's great stuff.
he did ...he did say "LOL"
Must be 14 , although seeing as he is defending Tucker Max that was already obvious .
I'm no psychic, but I knew Tucker would eventually take the road more travelled by the lost, empty and narcissistic.
"(Bunny) took me to this place called Lily Dale. Its a community of psychics, and I went to one. Now, I know why John Edwards is a fraud, he does this trick called cold reading, its very easy to see through his bullshit, and I expected this woman to do the same thing. I can be stoic and poker faced when I want to be, so I sat in her little den and said nothing except my name. If she was going to read me, she wasn't going to get any help from me.
Without prompting me or even really looking at me, she jumped right into my life. It was fucking spooky--this bitch was hitting point after point about me. And please, give me credit--I did not fall victim to the confirmation bias and just read into her general statements things I wanted to see. She was being incredibly specific, talking about very intimate things in my career and life, shit that she COULD NOT have known unless she was very involved in my life. No cold reading, no guessing, no feedback from me,--nothing but a spot on reading. Almost everything she said was specific, detailed, and right on."
Shit. I'm starting to feel quite sorry for him. Empathy is such a curse.
comment 2/21/2007 11:08 AM
All she had to do was take one look at him and she'd know that he was a piece of shit. That would be enough for spot-on comments like "I bet you treat women like dirt" and "You drank vodka and Red Bull last night."
"Your father doesn't recognize your importance. Your mother was a bad mother. You don't feel like your co-workers match up to your level of excellence. Others often seek your advice. You are going through personal transition. You are misunderstood by many. You know much about many different things. You are destined for greatness."
Oh my God.
Tucker's talking up the value of psychics now? PSYCHICS? And he's supposed to be a tough, take-no-crap alpha male? What's next, a post about astrology? It's a fucking disgrace that this guy is considered in the same league with Maddox (and no, I do not like Maddox, but he made his name slamming shit like this).
"She was being incredibly specific, talking about very intimate things in my career and life."
HOW DOES SHE KNOW!? It couldn't be because you share every detail about your life on your website or because you wear white T-shirts in public and smell like shit! She just KNOWS! Spooky!
tucker's a lost soul.
Maybe Tucker is starting to grasp the reality of his shelf-life. I doubt it though, considering his narcissism.
Cockly needs to post a new topic, so TM's ongoing downfall can be chronicled. Meanwhile, feel free to slam the hate-on-jada site with similar love.
http://theoriginaljada.blogspot.com
Wow, it's official. Tucker has gone Hollywood and embraced kooky New Age spirituality. Good thing he has such a well-balanced and sane person like Bunny to guide him along this path.
You can start the clock on the Tucker cult. Pretty soon, he'll renounce all worldly possessions and command his followers to join him in a desert compound for punch and cookies.
u guys r just so jealous of tucker becuz he is popular and u rnt. get a life and move out of ur parents basements and enjoy ur life like tucker does.
hot man xxx
9:16,
Actually, I'm jealous of you. Your precise grammar and flawless spelling suggests a level of class and sophistication that is often lacking around here. I can tell that you had every advantage as a child and a mother who loved you very much. And huffed paint thinner while you were in the womb.
It's fairly obvious that Tucker's debunkers and critics are far intellectually superior to his fans (and Tucker) . Funny , when I'm trying to make a decision about something , I find it's often best to listen to the smart people .
So if you like tucker , consider it an affirmation of your status as a Cretin .
Posted by The Bunny, last night:
"During the week I was at Lily Dale, James Van Praagh helped the police solve a crime. I actually am well acquainted with two families who used Sylvia Browne to privately locate their loved ones' dead bodies with success. This allowed the families a tremendous sense of relief and closure. Do you know anyone who visited Sylvia Browne personally? Have you visited James Van Praagh? In fact, have you ever visited any medium? And moreover, if this is crock of shit, then why do the NSA, CIA, FBI and most police departments continually use psychic mediums to solve crimes? Must be you're smarter than them. Can't put that beer down, but you're smarter than the FBI.
I'm not talking about spooky isolated incidents. I'm talking about decades worth of repetitive, unexplainable phenomena, and now I'm done trying to explain something very complex and experiential to a bunch of close-minded troglodytes. Thread motherfucking closed."
Yesssss. She's definitely smarter than everyone who doesn't buy into psychics. For every one case "solved" by a psychic, there are hundreds and hundreds where the psychics were way, way off. Just because I win a few hands of blackjack doesn't mean I can count cards.
To steal one of Fucker's more obnoxious statements, the smartest thing ever to come out of The Bunny's mouth was Tucker's small cock.
When Tucker described going to a psychic with Bunny and being freaked out because the psychic just seemed to know waaaayyyy to much about him, I almost choked.
The SAME, EXACT thing happened to me once.
My friend convinced me to go to a psychic once and I was literally AMAZED at how much this woman knew about me. There was NO WAY that she could have just 'guessed' some of the very personal information she figured out. This woman single handedly made a believer out of me.
Years later, I found out how the psychic 'knew' so much about me. My friend, who had gotten sick of me calling her a quack, called the woman in advance and gave her the goods on me.
I never felt so foolish and gullible in all my life.
$10 Bunny did the same thing to Tucker.
it was obvious to me as well that that's what happened. tucker is a rube, no two ways about it.
i wonder if all this new age horeshit will help tucker clear up that nasty strain of aids he caught.
TM's two top Myspace friends are his dogs. For all of his bravado, he is pussywhipped by a crazy woman.
tucker likes to dogs to spitroast him while bunny watches.
Oh yeah, Sylvia Browne freaks me out too. Sure, she tells parents their kidnapped kid is dead and he is found alive later, but come on, what about the three or so times she was right?
No, seriously, this is actually awesome. Let Tucker keep going to psychics and using crystals and stuff. I'm sure it will cement his reputation as a badass.
yo y'all for real what's y'all problem. I mean what did TMax do to y'all to get ya so angry? Ol' boy is pullin' 6 figs wit his site and makin' peeps laugh at his shit, and y'all losers ain't got shit to do but make up a site to dawg him out. Fo reels I mean shit, so wut if dude's lyin' in his stories and shit, shit is still funny as fuck yeah? He's a funny azz mofo and y'all know it but u don't wanna just let shit rest, grow da fuck up and let the kid put up his shit so we alls can laugh at it. Y'alls nothin but a bunch of haterz.
The stupidity of that comment cannot be charted.
As if you aren't already talking like some stereotypical gangsta (which smells badly of being a tryhard), you reckon he's funny. Maybe, but to people with at least a quarter of a brain he isn't.
Ticker sucks giant donkey balls. Oh yeah...hes a fraud too.
Posted last night by Ticker himself, on his very own TMMB:
"They invited me to be on the Tyra Banks show, not even two weeks ago. The topic of the show was "Boys behaving badly." I could smell a setup a mile out--they producers where basically going to "summarize" my material and give that synopsis to Tyra, then I would go on the show so she could rant against me. No thanks, bitch.
I'll take her on anytime on neutral turf. Not on her own show though. That's just as stupid as someone trying to argue with me on this place."
So scary. And profound. Dick.
it says a lot about tucker's rhetorical skills when he can't even go 1 on 1 with tyra banks.
personally, i'd be too distracted staring at her tits to listen to what she was saying.
A few things:
Bunny's whorishness and mental instability have been discussed ad nasuem on this forum, but no one has touched upon the reason why Tucker really keeps her around. She does all the graphic design and contributes technically to the Rudius sites. Hmmm...I wonder if she's being paid for all of work. Not a bad deal for Tucker. The message board barely tolerates her insanity and people beat around the bush trying to call her out without offending Tucker.
Tucker's incessant need to control every aspect of his "brand" is taking him down even more quickly than the fact that he is a douche bag. For someone who has taken econ classes at a top school, he seems to be incapable of doing any sort of cost benifit analysis. The Tyra Banks show? Yeah, it's lame, but the opportunity to get your "brand" out there on Network TV is one he should seriously consider. The format is secondary. That's an opportunity that he'll be kicking himself for not taking when his shit folds in the next couple of years. Sorry asshole, but the Tyra Banks show IS as good as it will get for you.
Tucker's grand scheme seems to revolve around a constant manipulation of his audience. Even the creation of the audience itself which is supposedly composed in large part of members of the US Military is a transparent strategy. So you get some emails and photos from members of the military, post them and suddenly you have a huge fan base of soldiers. Maybe, maybe not. But why not create the image that you have the world's greatest military behind you? Who's going to argue with that? So if you don't like Tucker, you must not support the troops. For every soldier that reads Tucker, there's at least 20 that would think he was a douche bag. That is, if they even gave a shit about reading his elitist, narcissistic bullshit.
I first saw the TM site about a year ago and there was some info (I think it was in the FAQ) about how he and his college roommate from the U of C started exploring the internet freshman year and how that inspired him in some ways to be what he is now, blah blah blah. Of course, the roommate "committed suicide." After reading his stories, I call bullshit. In following with the urban legend, did he also get a 4.0 and the rest of the semester off? Every douche bag has had "someone very important/close to them" kill themselves. Even funnier that he made fun a suicide forum after supposedly having suffered through the tragedy of losing someone close to him. Fucking loser.
I wonder if he took down this info although I know he's mentioned having someone close to him kill themselves elsewhere on the site.
he probably killed himself in order to avoid tucker's nightly advances. i'd choose death over waking up with a deformed two inch cock in my mouth.
yo y'all for real what's y'all problem. I mean what did TMax do to y'all to get ya so angry? Ol' boy is pullin' 6 figs wit his site and makin' peeps laugh at his shit, and y'all losers ain't got shit to do but make up a site to dawg him out. Fo reels I mean shit, so wut if dude's lyin' in his stories and shit, shit is still funny as fuck yeah? He's a funny azz mofo and y'all know it but u don't wanna just let shit rest, grow da fuck up and let the kid put up his shit so we alls can laugh at it. Y'alls nothin but a bunch of haterz.
YO YO YO YO YO! YOUZ BE LIKE ONE A DEM WIGGA HOMIEZ A TUCKER MAX? YOU BE FRONTIN AND FAKIN AND PERPETRATIN DAT YOU BE A GANGSTA???
Grow up. I bet you're a Lee Hotti look-a-like fairy.
tucker's not a wigga. he played basketball with black guys. he called them niggas. if that sounds laughable, well, you obviously don't keep it real like he does.
If Tucker was a real "alpha male" as he claims, then he could have gone on the show and sweet-talked Tyra Banks into having sex with him that night.
Tucker is only an alpha male to fugly bitches like Jada and The Bunny.
yall still just a buncha haterz and hav no lives 4 real.
fuck off you half-assed troll.
Going on the Tyra Banks show would be a losing proposition for TM. "Any publicity is good publicity?" Fuck that. Has he had any interviews where he doesn't come off looking like a bullshit artist as soon as somebody starts to question him?
When Tucker Max shows up on TV, lisping Tucker Max, beer gut Tucker Max, no-witty-comeback Tucker Max.... well that won't impress his fans too much.
$10 says that even Rude Jude could make TM look like the pansy that he is.
it's too true. i still love that opie & anthony thing. those callers were kicking tucker's ass and his mic wasn't cut off at that point either. when he was able the muster a comeback, it was so lame that you actually felt sorta bad for him.
u haterz r just mad that u arent tmax
yezz thats it. we must juzt be madd. uh huh. word.
Poseur.
His Fox News interview is way funnier. He starts out all right, but he gets increasingly nervous. "I saw a puppy and I petted it..."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk_p3-4jM-Q
TM seems to let out an exasperated breath whenever he gets nervous. That's a great trait for an 'alpha' male.
hah lol yall still just a buncha haterz and cant get no ass like tmax does...this site is gay a fuck yo shit get a life u looser.
yezz thats it. we must juzt be gay. uh huh. word.
Poseur.
hah lol yall still just a buncha haterz and cant get no ass like tmax does...this site is gay a fuck yo shit get a life u looser.
YO YO YO! I BET DA HOMIE HERE BE WEARIN' HIZ LUGZ DAT HIS MOMMA DONE BOUGHT HIM A DA MALL! HE BE LISTENIN TO EMINEM AN JA RULE! HE BE GETTIN READY TO GO TA HIZ PRIVATE HIGH SKOOL TO WORK DA BITCHEZ AN HOEZ ON MONDAY!
Learn to spell you wigga moron and stop sucking on Tucker's flaccid 2" killer.
i wanna put all the niggers in a barrel and squish em up with a foot and feed the juice to Ren and Stimpy.
What?
And now back to our regularly-scheduled program: Tucker Max is an asshole.
lolz this site is so fuckin fake u all r such loosers!!!! tuckers stories r true y would he lie. u guys need 2 get out of ur parents basements and get laid.
As a former member of Tuckers messageboard, I must say that while I found him to be funny in the beginning, I found him to be a totally repetetive bore in the long run. There is only so much e-fellatio that you can watch on a daily basis before you get bored. Some of the moderators there are actually fairly decent people, however, I could only sit around so long and listen to the " look at me", " I'm so cool" shit before you just hit that backspace button and go somewhere else. Tucker is a full of shit, insecure, self appreciating asshole. Once you get a few years under your belt you start to realize that anyone who constantly has to tell you how cool they are isn't really that cool.
Attn: Jada--
Posting beaver pics and extreme angle/out of focus partial facials is fine in your blog (where you can get attention from guys trying to score an easy lay off of tucker's sloppy seconds). In the real world, guys don't care if you're shaved or not; they care that you broke your nose when you fell out of the ugly tree. Get a fucking nose job, then we'll worry about your cunt.
Regarding his Vegas story...
Tucker claims he fucked some girl in a see through bathroom in a Vegas club...and that as a final show he shot his load onto the window.
Great job there buddy...sounds like someone wasn't using a condom...IF the story was true.
There is a thread there right now about the little slut from Idol that had her pictures leaked on the web. Anyway, read up on how apparent "SLF" has mommy issues:
"And I still hope his mom calls him every day to remind him that he failed at being a man."
He mentions something about 'mom' in many of his posts in this thread, and the OP he tries to cut down in the thread eventually bows down and starts kissing his as in typical TMMB groupie fashion.
Just goes to show you that TM isn't the only veteran there with bigtime mommy issues.
New article from the Associated Press. I could help but think of TM and his idiot fans.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070227/ap_on_re_us/self_centered_students
SLF also has man titty issues.
2/27/2007 8:13 AM,
college students? hahah now TMs fans are college students? I thought they were 9-13 year olds?
Now that you find an article shitting on college students, they're college students?
ahahah what next, find an article shitting on pedophilic catholic priests, then they're catholic priests?
ahahahah this is so retarded
^ that made exactly ZERO sense.
Tucker must be reading this site, posted by him on his board today:
Also, you will see changes in how this place is moderated. Basically, it used to be that mods were here to just entertain themselves and me, and we used our positions of power to advance that end. Basically, we abused the shit out of everyone. It was part of the way we operated, and the users just kind of expected it as part of the TMMB experience, but those times are pretty much past.
This is no longer going to be true, (at least for the non-Tucker Max sections of the RMMB). Don't expect a huge shift all at once, and idiots and trolls will never be tolerated, and this place will never be a Digg-type democracy, but for the most part, the moderation will start to loosen up a bit. For too long I have allowed heavy-handed and spiteful moderators to chase off good posters because of stupid personality conflicts, and that's going to end. It was OK when this was just something my friends and I did on in our spare time; it's not OK when this is part of a larger community and lots of different people are here for lots of different reasons.
wow - that's huge. that's the most sensible thing he's ever written. but it'll probably turn-out to be a lie, just like all of his bullshit.
It could be utter bs, preceding a move to a paid membership model, or something more evil. Or he's thinking from a business perspective. Traffic on this site and other spinoffs is lost traffic from the main site. If he successfully transitions from a founder-centric setup to the next stage of growth I will be impressed.
it won't happen. he has absolutely nothing to offer. his business model is utter bullshit. he thinks he's gonna rule the internet by using the 48 laws of power.
Look - web ads! It's just like the TMMB!
I love it when pasty tough guys like TM profess to be experts on business from reading "The Art of War."
i pity guys like tucker who sit on their fat asses drinking beer and pretending they're in the army. fucking sad if you ask me.
this site has lost it's edge.
new post please
Looks Like Tucker Max (tm) 2.0.
TV/Hollywood is going nowhere. When he doesn't deliver, he won't be invited back.
His next book will suck. IHTSBIH sold, but that was the best of 10 years worth of stories. Can he top it? Not if the midget fucking story is any indication. He shot his load and there's no literary viagra.
It looks like he's seen how much cash digg and Kevin Rose are bringing in and decided a web 2.0 community is a cash cow worth milking.
LOL I knew this site wouldn't last.
Tucker 1 Cocksmoke 0
"I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!! I FUCKING TOLD ALL YOU STUPID FUCKS!!!!!!!!!
I MADE 2200 TONIGHT BECAUSE I AM SMARTER THAN EVERYONE WHO DOUBTED RANDY!!!!!"
could this guy be any more of a dork? i mean seriously.
Tucker needs to learn to follow through. Tucker, you're out there and reading this, what the fuck happened to visiting Hotwheelz?
At this point, your grand pronouncement of a visit has turned into a flatout lie.
Lack of time is NEVER an excuse. If you have time to be watching Arsenio clips, then what the fuck?
to quote South Park....
"CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!!"
"Oh good, you smoke. When you're done sucking down that death stick I want your advice on which brand of vodka to chase my Percocet with"
"Now, I have never taken any drugs in my life. No pot, no coke, no heroin, no crank, no special k, no X, nothing."
man, is tucker the life of the party or what?
"Now, I have never taken any drugs in my life. No pot, no coke, no heroin, no crank, no special k, no X, nothing."
No, but he's had enough brain-killing alchohol to make a sailor's liver cringe.
I guess Tucker doesn't consider King Fag Mike's semen to be a drug.
Cum Food Mike is a shit-stabbing ass-kiss.
Love,
Tucker
KFM needs a job, why doesn't Tucker hire him? I think we all know the answer to THAT question.
So what if he hasn't used drugs? What does that have to do with anything? He's still an insecure liar who needs 15 year old boys to kiss up to him on his website.
it probably disqualifies him from the title of "premiere partier of my generation" fuckwit.
it really just proves he's a geek more than anything. who the fuck hasn't smoked pot?
This site has lost it's edge.
Tucker wins!
This site has lost it's edge.
Tucker wins!
GREAT GRAMMAR, ASSHOLE.
Actually, his grammar is correct. And he's right, Tucker won!
Tucker has to be pretty pissed:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/pcworld/20070305/tc_pcworld/129301
I suggest you learn the difference between "its" (possessive) and "it's" (contractive of it is)
wow. you are ALL morons. It's contraction not contractive you dumb fuck.
...and this just might be the most pathetic bitch "forum" on the face of the universe.
fuck off you dick-sucking groupie.
This isn't a forum, this is a place where you losers that live in your parent's basement come to whine about why you can't live a life like Tucker does.
You're just jealous.
It took 374 comments before some clever asshole threw-out the "parents' basement" jab? HahHAhAhha. It's always SO funny. Not.
Did you just use the word "not"?
Whoa, someone's old.
did you just say "whoa?"
Is Joey Lawrence posting here now? Whoa!
Tucker is a disgusting human being and all, but you people are morons.
But check out the 100 most important people on the internet....
Tucker and Kung Fu Mike were tied for 69th place.
"contraction?" Isn't that what your asshole does when Tucker donkey punches you?
"contraction?" Isn't that what your asshole does when Tucker donkey punches you?
It isn't that Tucker won. It is a reflection that the TM doesn't matter anymore.
This board is gay. Hopefully when Tucker actually does something it will be ok again
hahah yes, my asshole "contractions". that makes so much sense.
you're so smurrrtt.
ahhahah this is truly the lamest place on the internet.
morons, homophoboes, redneck racists, incestuous faggots, talking shit on the net... and TUCKER is the loser!
Classic bullshit - here's another typical post from one of TM's cocksuckers:
I was 28 at the time.
Getting myself so drunk I was incoherent at the bar my buddy worked at. Black out walking for 3 hours. Some disgusting chick that was eating chicken wings cornered my and stuck her hand down my pants to grab my junk. She had Tabasco sauce on her hands from eating the wings. I ran around the bar screaming "My balls are on fire" with my pants down around my ankles. There were around 30 people in the bar.
Don't remember any of it. NONE. None whatsoever.
True story.
Wait, you contracted clap after fucking tucker's sloppy seconds. Is that the proper usage?
or what about this? You've contracted HIV because clearly you're a faggot since you can't stop talking about tucker, tucker's ass, tucker's asshole, my asshole, your dad's dick, kung fu mike, kung fu mike's dick.. etc etc?
does that make sense?
I believe it is in CumFood Mike's contract to suck Tucker's weenie when asked.
Tucker's army of dormroom drinkers has a contractual obligation to lick his pasty ass when he posts a new topic.
Another TM buttbuddy story follows. Why does "hilarity ensues" have to be included on all of them?
After a rousing night of playing caps and smoking doobies, we were drunk, high and ready to fly. Our friend, we'll call him "Doug", passed out early because we ganged up on him in caps and all started just throwing them at his bottle. And there were 7 other of us.
(note: caps is when evryone sits in a circle with their legs out in front, and their beer between their legs. They then proceed to put an upside down beer cap on the top of the bottle. players then take turns throwing a cap at another person bottle in order to knock the cap off. If you hit a players cap he has to chug for a predetermined amount of seconds. Hilarity ensues.)
"Doug" was done. Finished. Liquored. Gonzo. He was passed out so we went into the barn(my friends parents own a seed producing farm) and got the shrink wrap and the torch. We took "Doug's" Chrysler Lebaron and shrink wrapped the car with about 2 inches thick of plastic. Then to add to it we jacked up all four wheels just a fraction of an inch so it wasn't noticeable.
The next morning he flipped. Totally and completely lost it. He swung at every single one of us and I , to this day, have never seen a face get so red and so angry.
Even after he got the wrap off he tried to take off and just gunned the motor. It goes nowhere but he just keeps giving it to er. The car then falls of the jacks from rocking and he goes flying.
Fuck he was mad.
I was stunned - not because I'd been scooped or by his gruffness. Max's pale, bloated face and flabby body were a far cry from the stud pictured on his Web site. He seemed shorter than his supposed 6 feet, smelled like a locker room and had a fleshy mole on his right nostril. Wearing baggy jeans, a gray tee and a black nylon, zip-front jacket, he looked like a convenience-mart cashier, sans the Redman chewing tobacco hat.
lol look at all u loosers, so jealous of mah boy TMax WUT WUT eat a dick.
damn, you guys talk about Tucker's body way too much.
yo yo fleshy nostril moles is whatz in
oh no not another sample of Tucker's college boys hijinx:
I'm not a fighting person by nature but last night I drank so much at a friends party that I completely blacked out. Around 1:30 AM was the last thing I remember, that and about 3 minutes of riding in the back of a police car as they drove me home. I just woke up today at 3PM with a twisted ankle, mysterious bruisees and my knuckles on my right hand are cut and bruised like crazy.
Apparently when I left the party, I was so drunk that they sent someone with me who was heading my direction to make sure I got home ok. I slipped and fell a lot on the way back (drunk plus lots of ice = bad) and when he reached down to help me get up he said I punched him in the face 20 times and the cops were patrolling nearby. He mentioned the cops picked me up and put me in the drunk tank for a few hours before bringing me home at 5 in the morning.
I have no idea why I punched him.
HahHAhahah of fuck thats fucking funny I never thought someone would tell that fucking story!
hahah are you guys capable of talking about anything besides tucker's ass and penis?
for haters, you sure talk about his genitals a lot.
it's probably because we're all closet homosexuals.
no kidding. this comments thread reads like a bunch of whining queens.
this silly bunch is seriously obsessed with tucker's dick. not even the second comment in this thread, and his dick is brought up.
Tucker @ SXSW:
http://tinyurl.com/2qphd5
[...]While almost always boastful, Max admits that his writing is not so hot. He's just able to tell a decent story and spends a great deal of time updating his site with lengthy, lurid tales.
Max may have to concentrate on his agent style business moving forward because he's running out of material. He's received a $300,000 advance for a second version of his drunken, sexual exploits – a tome that will contain the stories not ripe enough for the first cut.
"People think I am hanging from a chandelier drunk every night," he said. "That was me at twenty-six."
Max can only find one day a week now in which to get funky.
"I have grown up," he said. "You just change as an artist."
3/11/2007 11:40 PM, get a grasp on irony you fucking moron.
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