Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Comment From A Longtime Tucker Max Fan

An anonymous poster has posted a comment about Tucker that really rings true. The following was submitted December 14, 2006 at 11:54 AM as a comment to the post "The Purpose of The Blog Is To Expose Tucker Max As A Douchebag":

I’ve been a member of the Tucker Max Message Board (TMMB) for almost 4 years. I first heard about Tucker and his site from an e-mail that was passed around. It was the “Miss Vermont Story” and got e-mailed around a lot a few months before he was on MTV and the site exploded. I have read every story posted on his old and new site and been a semi-frequent poster on the TMMB. Why? Quite frankly his stories made me laugh. Tucker tells a good story, or at least he used to, and it was an entertaining diversion from work or school. Mind you, he’s not a good writer in a technical sense, but his stories were funny and did a good job of conveying a hilarious mental image. I never assumed that the stories were 100% true, I assumed that they were embellished. Or, more precisely, the stories contained an essential kernel of truth surrounded by made-up/exaggerated elements of the story (a lot of the dialogue). I didn’t care, though, because I was just there to get a cheap laugh.

The more I thought about it, however, the more the fact that TM is basically lying in his stories began to bother me. His whole hook is that these stories are “true.” Anyone could just make this shit up and pass it off as fiction, it would get e-mailed around a few times and be forgotten. But Tucker presents it as true, that it actually happened to him, and it didn’t, he’s lying and that’s unacceptable. What gets Tucker his attention is people going “Man, I can’t believe that this actually happened to someone, that shit is so crazy!! I wish I were him.” In short, he was interesting because he represented something that many people wish they were but don’t really have the balls to be. Unfortunately, he wasn’t really that person, Tucker is more a persona than anything else.

Even still, this wouldn’t be that big a crime in my book if not for Tucker’s ever growing ego and arrogance. It was funny for a while, but now it has just gotten out of control. And this is reflected in the company he keeps. Like I said, I’ve been a member of the TMMB for a long time, long before most people knew about it. Back in the day, it was mainly Tucker and his friends from law school and friends of Tucker from real life. Almost all of these people were regular posters, something that kept Tucker grounded and provided a much-needed reality check, they weren’t afraid to call bullshit on his stuff or smack him down a bit. Basically, TMMB was just an online version of friends giving each other shit at a bar.

That changed after the MTV show and Miss Vermont lawsuit. All of a sudden, a bunch of people came out of the woodwork and began e-sucking Tucker’s cock (and a few did in real life too). The problem was, none of these people were in on the joke, they didn’t realize that the shit wasn’t all true. But in order to keep these new fans, Tucker couldn’t admit it wasn’t true, he had to maintain the fa├žade. And the more often he repeated the lie, the more he seems to believe in it. Slowly, almost everyone on the TMMB who knew Tucker in real life, pre-MTV, started to drift away. Most stopped posting, deleted their accounts and haven’t been heard of since. Part of this is a natural maturation process, what his friends thought was funny at 25 became less so at 30, and a little diversion no longer seemed important. But what I think is also is the case is that a number of people who knew Tucker knew the truth and started to get disgusted at what he was becoming. You can see this in the dwindling posts of guys like JoJo, PWJ, SlingBlade, SippyCup and others. Anyone who “knew” Tucker in real life found one excuse or another to stop posting. Tucker’s their friend and they would never call him out, but they seem to have gotten sick of what he was becoming. The bullshit is funny when everyone knows its exaggerated; when Tucker started acting like everything was gospel truth, it became more than they were willing to deal with.

This has, unfortunately, only made Tucker worse. Unencumbered by people who could call him out and keep him grounded, Tucker has just fed off the adulation of people on the board. The TMMB is now populated by a bunch of people that worship at the altar of Tucker and believe everything that he says. Anyone who raises a question, or expresses a view contrary to Tucker’s is immediately flamed and banned by those incapable of anything other than groupthink. Even worse are his new core clique, basically the Rudius Media people. All of them are dependent in one way or another on Tucker for their “fame” and livelihood. People like Bunny, Kung Fu Mike, Solyent Green, DRex (who, for my money, is the absolute worst person in the Tucker orbit and probably world), Mr Jake/Luke and others are so tied to Tucker that the cannot allow anyone to question him. Their existence is tied totally to maintaining the fiction of Tucker’s life; ask Tucker if a story is true, and either DRex or Luke will quickly swoop in to say that it absolutely is because they were there and/or know Tucker and that’s the way it is. But they HAVE to say this, they’ve hitched their wagon to Tucker and are just trying to live in some of his reflected “flame”. This is what has bothered me the most, all of Tucker’s “friends”, the people who appear in his newer stories, are people from the TMMB. They basically have no lives of their own and exist solely to be foils for Tucker. Surrounded by this group of yes men and women, Tucker no longer has a touchstone with reality and can tell any fiction that he wants. That’s why anyone who questions Tucker orthodoxy is immediately destroyed, too many people are now dependent on THE LIE to allow the truth to be exposed.

And that’s the real problem, Tucker know “believes” the lie that he has concocted for himself. And why shouldn’t he? Those people immediately around him reinforce his belief and never challenge him or do anything but fawn over his action while simultaneously punishing anyone who dissents. As a result, Tucker has just gotten worse and worse, he actually believes his own bullshit and thinks he is the vanguard of some new “movement” that will change entertainment and gender relationships. Whereas before a lot of his bravado was tongue-in-cheek and done more for effect, now Tucker really believes in his self-importance and needs constant reinforcement of it. You don’t need to know anymore other than he CONSTANTLY refers to himself as a best-selling author, and finds a way to bring it into EVERY conversation. Congrats, that’s an accomplishment. But why should I care?

All this being said, there is one bright spot to Tucker: the re-launch of PhilaLawyer. I highly recommend everyone read philawyer.net, that guy is an amazing writer and actually has something to say.


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Anonymous said...

After some reading here, I'm still more shocked by the fervor put into pulling Tucker Max down than anything else that've been brought forth about his 'shocking douchebag' ways.

I must ask. Why do you care? People only get mad at stuff like this because there might be a hint of truth behind it.

Anonymous said...

And now another transcript from the interviews of TM:

(read with a high-pitched voice and lisp)

"...I uhhh mean iiiiiits uh like eighteen pages in the book....

Basically I got shitfaced on absynthe? And uh uh this girl and i was like really drunk and this girl she was like I'm too drunk to drive home you gotta drive and I was like alright.

So I ended-up driving her home and then she had me like drop her off at her like apartment building and she's like well go find parking place and you find it and come on up and I couldn't find a parking spot and I was fucking pissed-off at her so I ended-up like parking you know I found a spot like at uhh it was kinda like too small but I was still trying to cram the car in there and I ended up jumping the curb and like running the back of the car into a uhh uuhh donut shop and like crashing the window down and shit...."

Another GREAT story full of hilarity.

Anonymous said...

i remember the opie & anthony thing fondly. tucker got his ass kicked and never even fired back with anything. his fanboys like to act as though he never had a chance, but the fact is is microphone was only turned off at the end of the interview.

Anonymous said...

quotes about Max: Jojo, yesterday on TMMB:

You're not famous, Max. Nobody who does real television work has ever heard of you. To paraphrase someone we went to law school with, you are the celeb-pimple on the writers' collective A-list asses.

Anonymous said...

mojo wrote that? how long was it up before tucker deleted it?

Anonymous said...

Re: Rudius

Aside from PhilaLawyer, the Power/Seduction/War guy is also rather brilliant.

I'm not sure how either relates to the other Maxim bullshit.

Anonymous said...

Aside from PhilaLawyer, the Power/Seduction/War guy is also rather brilliant.

You're kidding, right? Robert Greene is nothign more than a hack who read some Machiavelli.

Anonymous said...

Aside from PhilaLawyer, the Power/Seduction/War guy is also rather brilliant.

You're kidding, right? Robert Greene is nothign more than a hack who read some Machiavelli.

Anonymous said...

"You can see this in the dwindling posts of guys like JoJo, PWJ, SlingBlade, SippyCup and others. Anyone who “knew” Tucker in real life found one excuse or another to stop posting. Tucker’s their friend and they would never call him out, but they seem to have gotten sick of what he was becoming."

To be honest, I don't care much about this blog, and whether it "debunks" Tucker's stories or whatnot. The stories that I was there for are pretty much true to form, and the subparts that I wasn't present for (eg Tucker crapping his pants in the hotel) have remained consistent in the telling for about 5 years now. The stories where I was on the original e-mail group well before a website was conceived (eg Sushi Pants) have similarly remained unchanged. As for other ones (eg Absinthe Donuts) I have no idea, as I wasn't there.

But I can vouch for the stories of pretty much all of the guys above and why we stopped posting, and it has nothing to do with some larger-than-life morphing of Tucker's personality. I got married and have a kid on the way, Slingblade got a job that requires a security clearance, Jojo is nearing partnership in his firm (I have no idea what happened to Stydie, who really is one of the hangers-on from the board). When I hang out with Tucker, he still seems like the same old college drinking buddy of mine, except with annoying people recognizing him, and my absence from the board has more to do with being in another phase of my life (that isn't real consistent with board life).


Anonymous said...


I apologize, in my post I was definitely guilty of over-reach in my analysis. I have always thought you to be forthright in your TMMB posts and have no reason to doubt your honesty. Therefore, I will take your explanation as truth. I apologize for extrapolating from too little information in re you, SlingBlade, JoJo, et al.

Anonymous said...

I used to go on the TMMB, until I got banned. I was asking for a possible name for my drink, when some user named Geigs said call it 'who gives a fuck tini' and add some anti-freeze shots while you're mixing it.
I'd taken alot of shit on the board at times, and thought maybe I deserved it, but this pissed me off. No one else on the board would've gotten a response like that.
So I called the fucker out. Come out to any event and we'll box. What does Geigs say? Oooh I'm scared, you're some loser, you coulnd't knock me out.
I said back, fine bitch, just show up and knock ME out, but don't talk shit on this board, just back your shit up or step the fuck off.
Then that tard Kungfumike got on and started backing him up (both probably suck each others cocks on a daily basis). I told Kungfu Mike the same exact shit, and he did the same thing, just talked shit, showed he had no balls whatsoever when someone steps to them. Kungfu mike THEN googled my name and found a user who had the same posting name as me posting on an indian chat board about don't worry so much about being too hairy not every girl cares about that shit, in attempt to embarrass me and get me to stop posting.
I laughed at that shit and Private Messaged Kungfu Mike, and not only was I NOT that poster, I could give a rat ass about his attempted incisive put-downs, b/c none of it changed the fact that I'd show up at any TM event to fuck both him and Geigs up. I also said I don't usually start shit, but if Geigs is run his mouth in a way that would get his ass kicked at a bar, he better be ready to back it up. After that, KungFu Mike said I was crazy to threaten violence and I got banned.
I don't know about Tucker Max, i used to like his work, but fuck his crew. They all talk shit from their messageboard and think they're tough. But when you call them out on THEIR shit, they get all scared. Fucking pussies.

Anonymous said...

The Tucker thing is NOT that hard to figure out. People try to impress people who abuse them (hence the fans who keep kissing his ass when he tells them they're stupid virgins).

As for the truth of his stories, i have to say who cares. He's loved for what he appears to be, that's a fact whether he made it up or not, and this site will never be as popular as his, so you can never really expose him.

And seriously, is calling everyone a virgin when they disagree with you (which is the same thing Tucker does)the best way to go about this? I dislike Tucker on principle because people have this hero worship thing with him and it's unhealthy since he's a fictional character for all practical purposes, but i've heard more intelligent stuff on his website than here...

Anonymous said...

Fuck all of u, the guys one of the few who actually pays attention to women....theyre all the fuckn same, nice try with this hes laughn all the way to the bank

Anonymous said...

the only bank tucker is going to is the sperm bank to get his daily protein drink.

Anonymous said...

Rather than a reason to think of this guy as a "douche," I see this as a reason to pity him. That's incredibly sad that (if you are right) he's really lost touch with reality and with his friends.

Anonymous said...

Dear Cocky McBeefwell-

From your first post:

"Does Tucker Max live a productive life? Has he ever worked an honest day in his life? There's nothing worse than a spoiled rich kid who shoots his mouth off about how great he is and how shitty everyone else is. The Internet world needs to know that he's full of shit."

A nice trip to the past that was, right?

What does the internet world "NEED" to know? You run your mouth about how TM is a liar, but that right there is merely opinion and not fact. No one really needs to know, just like no one needs to know his stories. Since you are all about being 100% honest, we technically NEED food water and shelter. Money (for survival), happiness, and health are good too. So if you are going to crucify TM for exaggerating, then start being a bit more technical yourself.

I know its already been said by the normal people on here...but really what this all comes down to is that you are jealous of a few things: #1: that you can't write a book about funny stories (true or not) and make a bunch of money off it. Most people think it would be awesome to make a living off of making up stupid stories. But I guess you are a sociopath.
#2: that you don't have as many people idolizing you. Your whole point of this blog is to educate people and gather followers that oppose TM. You get frustrated whenever TM has a bit of success. Again, you are jealous.

I guess you have one thing going for you: you have people sucking from your dick too. Aren't you, then, accomplishing what Tucker is doing? You are trying to gather followers and post shit here too, except in your attempts, you are just trying to expose him as a douche bag, while he is just telling stories to be funny.

You claim he has no life, but at least by not having a life, he makes money. What do you have to show from this blog? A bunch of dungeon masters who are still tucked in bed at night by their moms are here kissing your ass, and you don't have a penny to show for it. Sure you make a living doing whatever it is you like or love, but you don't have any hobbies because you are devoting your time to "exposing" another dude. I think you might actually be somewhat gay as well. You clearly don't have a girlfriend, because you wouldn't have time for her and no normal girl would think you were such a stud for doing this. Have you thought about your sexual preference I'm not even meaning that last sentence in a demeaning way, but really, you might have a dependency issue, as well as either homo erotic tendencies or else EXTREME homophobic tendencies. And its completely obvious that you are a sociopath, theres no doubt about that. You are just too angry and care waaay too much about the success of a 30 year old dude who happened to have some luck come his way because people enjoyed his stories. Why do you care? Do you get this angry when people win the lottery and are actually scum-sucking parasites in real life?

My recommendation (and this is meant in whatever way you want to take it) is for you and all your dungeonmasters to get some real hobbies and some girlfriends (or boyfriends, whichever you prefer).

You can say that I don't have a life...but I was just taking a break at work and getting some websurfing time in before kickboxing, which is a REAL hobby, unlike blogging.

You are really on the same level as Tucker Max, I do hope you realize that. It would be naive of you to think of your efforts otherwise.

Good luck, and please don't get too upset if "Assholes Finish First" does well, because I wouldn't want your head to explode from anger.


Anonymous said...

The "one trick pony" has produced a movie based on his own New York best-selling book and it is coming out in about 3 months.

Anonymous said...

i love tucker max and youd have to be completely stupid to believe all his stories are completely true but he's animated and i believe he was at least there and he just adds a few things in to make it more interesting.

Spencer said...

so if tucker max is such a douchebag, why are you people dedicating so much time writing about a douchebag? are your lives that sad?

Anonymous said...

so you made no overall point other than you believe tucker is a liar...

also, if you want to act like you know shit about technical writing, stop using fucking run-ons and learn how to spell...

i cannot stand critics without the talent... so i suppose i hate critics...

Anonymous said...

Tucker a douchebag? Wow, that's like saying Hitler was a mean person.

Tucker is funnier, however.

Anonymous said...

For all of the 'haters' of this guy- you sure put A LOT of energy towards him... he's doing something right.

Anonymous said...

Tm is a fucking joke he is a deadshit

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