The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,918 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 8001 – 8200 of 15918 Newer› Newest»@9:38
Why do the mods feel that they have such entitlement towards everything? Also, how much damage control goes on behind the scenes with Tucker 'I CAN TAKE ANYTHING, WHAT? YOU HATE ME? FUCK YOU, BANNED!' Max?
@9:53, I don't think the older mods feel that way at all
There were always the people on the board who liked to be there because they had some e-authority but there were just as many mods who just liked to have a place to hang out and shoot the shit.
I wasn't privy to a lot of Tucker's inner thought processes. I don't know that anyone was, really, because he's sort of a weird egg. His facade is vulnerability but actually, he's got about a dozen walls of bullshit built around any legitimate part of his soul.
His main concern was always putting out a quality board and I respect him for that effort. He wanted to keep people entertained and interested and for the years I was there (03-06), he was not, to my knowledge, fuck you banning anyone who didn't deserve it. Things that would have gotten you banned during my tenure were harassment of others either publicly or in pm or general douchebaggery.
I hear it's not that way now but it used to be that everyone just wanted a place to talk and share fish tales and reflect on fucked up people everywhere. There was always mockery but generally, it was evenly distributed.
What can I say? I like mapping projects. It gives us a visual representation of how this is being thought out... or not thought out. I mean, my interest in this nearly has nothing to do with Tucker as a person any more but more about whether his whole "revolution" is going to work. Come September 25, one of two things are going to happen.
Tucker will be right or Tucker Max Failed. There's no middle ground in this because its been purposefully hyped. If I learned anything from reading Tucker's stuff and eventually growing bored of it, its that there is a certain strategy and calculation in his thinking.
I'd just like to see it be proved wrong, to be exposed to the harsh light of truth. Imagine... all these diehards running to the theaters to meet their GOD... and he's just some lispy dude who isn't as witty or good with the ladies as they've built him up to be.
From an intellectual standpoint, I find all of this just really engaging.
Let me add... he says this... must be nice to not worry about money in an economy where even the most steadfast wealthhogwhores panicked for a minute.
==============
Thats the cool part about having money. You don't need to scratch out every penny like I did then.
Plus the point of the tour is to get the movie out to my fans, right? No better way to do that then make it affordable to everyone. This movie is going to live and die on word of mouth, and we need as many people as possible to see it. That includes poor college and high school students, etc.
Wait, more joy, I keep finding more wonderful things... What's the surprise guys? Someone drop the juice... I want to know!
-=----------------------
I'm just going to go ahead and open this thread up. Might as well.
And everyone--we have a cool surprise coming for you tomorrow morning...sometime around 1230pm EST, 930am PST. We are moving from the frustrating realm of the underdeliver, to the wonderful world of the overdeliver. A $10 ticket is only the beginning.
Someone please post this question to that thread...
"If you are giving away free tshirts to everyone attending the screenings, why the fuck are you going to set up a table to sell tshirts?"
Ok, don't hate me haterz, I've been hearing haterzing with you for the last month or so but...
After reading that thread you just linked to, I'm having a change of heart. That's the Tucker that used to be entertaining. That's the excitement the board used to have when people actually wanted to meet one another in real life.
I know it couldn't possibly sound anymore ghey but whoever the old mod is that posted a few hours ago, go read that thread and tell me what you think. It's sort of like it used to be isn't it?
PS, those of you who said Hotwheelz hates Tucker, he clearly doesn't, he just posted on that thread. I think a lot of people here have been speaking out of turn.
It's just nice to see Tucker with the cloud of douche lifting, if only momentarily. Quick children, go read that thread, that self-mocking jovial (as close as he gets to it) Tucker is the Tucker some of us used to enjoy. Example below:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Originally Posted by Caducus View Post
The diehard messageboard people should know that we'll have a guy logged in back stage, adjusting your rep points in real time, according to your questions during the Q&A and signing portions.
And everyone here has to introduce themselves by their board name. And if they dare question ANYTHING I have ever done in my life, I yell "BANNED" at them, and you make them disappear.
Then they stand outside, putting new outfits on, trying to trick us into letting them back in. But they never get past the lobby.
Then if anyone asks a question that is demeaning towards women, Bunny yells at them in ALL CAPS and threatens to punch them.
We won't have to leave the board, even in real lif
ghey=ghey
It won't last. And it's hilarious that Tucker is already having to lower ticket prices at his premier tour. Guess the buzz wasn't anywhere near what he hoped it was.
@11:15, I did read the thread and feel similar to you. It seems nice now but who knows if it will last. It is sort of nice to see him "acting" like he used to "act" on the boards.
Is it bad that I don't understand half the references on this page?
I don't know who Ryan Holiday, Bosco, Tando, etc are... are they Tucker people?
"Thats the cool part about having money. You don't need to scratch out every penny like I did then."
Obviously that's why he thought charging the crew $30 each to see the results of their own work was fair.
"Then if anyone asks a question that is demeaning towards women, Bunny yells at them in ALL CAPS and threatens to punch them."
Bunny, you need to punch yourself. A whole lot.
A WHOLE lot.
I find it funny that Tucker's movie leak has been met, for the most part, with absolute indifference. That must kill him.
Someone mentioned that all of the Tucker comments on Twitter are people dissing on him.
If you actually check, a very large percentage are positive, often even hot girls saying things like "omg I love Tucker Max!"
Check it out, I was surprised.
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=tucker+max
I don't know a huge amount about Twitter but the oldest comment on the page is 10 hours old - that doesn't seem like a very fast rate of name hits for someone who has a movie coming out.
People talk about Swimfan as much:
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=swimfan
the whole ticket price drop + shitty merchandise absolutely reeks of desperation.
Desperation...maybe.
Sad...definitely.
I feel badly for him especially now that he is nice Tucker again.
I just know how much it hurts to try and fail or fall short of expectations. I don't wish that on anyone.
Tucker, keep your head up. Learn from it and move on... Hopefully as a more tolerable and mature version of TM.
"Tucker, keep your head up. Learn from it and move on... Hopefully as a more tolerable and mature version of TM."
Stop trying to humanise the villain. That's not what this story is about.
"Desperation...maybe.
Sad...definitely.
I feel badly for him especially now that he is nice Tucker again.
I just know how much it hurts to try and fail or fall short of expectations. I don't wish that on anyone.
Tucker, keep your head up. Learn from it and move on... Hopefully as a more tolerable and mature version of TM."
Fuck that noise. Tucker earned it.
"Thats the cool part about having money. You don't need to scratch out every penny like I did then."
Ok Tuck...as he drives his Chevy Malibu up to the window of the Mcds.
"It's just nice to see Tucker with the cloud of douche lifting, if only momentarily. Quick children, go read that thread, that self-mocking jovial (as close as he gets to it) Tucker is the Tucker some of us used to enjoy. Example below"
This is Tuckers MO. When he needs something he starts acting normal, humble, even reasonable. Just like he did in Shreveport. But the second he doesn't need you anymore, he's gonna shit on you.
I'm sorry, He's acted like a meglomanic douche for 3 years, acting normal for a few weeks before the movie comes out will not remove the doucheness.
"If you actually check, a very large percentage are positive, often even hot girls saying things like "omg I love Tucker Max!"
Check it out, I was surprised."
I'm never surprised by Sluts. How much time have you spent around women?
Women will sacrifice dignity, pussy, time, etc on the off chance that they will somehow become notable for fucking a z-list celeb. Or for money.
I'm never surprised when I see some gorgeous girl on a neanderthal looking douche as he pulls out hundreds, I go, "oh yeah, money."
Just look at this one...
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=855649&postcount=72
Relatively good looking girl. But also incredible douche herself. Shes gonna give up $1400 on an LSAT to just see the priemere?
Yeah, that's the law student I want working my case. Not the one who took her LSAT seriously, but the one who went to see Tucker Max.
Girl has obviously never paid for a thing in her life, look at the signature. A future fat bitch looking to wife up.
2:21: the twitter reference was about the leak. Not anything recent now. The leak comments were rather negative.
In relation, I wouldn't be surprised if one of Tucker's marketing goals is to be a trending topic on twitter since he's heavily relying on web 2.0 to drive word of mouth.
"http://search.twitter.com/search?q=tucker+max
I don't know a huge amount about Twitter but the oldest comment on the page is 10 hours old - that doesn't seem like a very fast rate of name hits for someone who has a movie coming out.
People talk about Swimfan as much:
http://search.twitter.com/search?q=swimfan"
You mean that Genius piece of Film Jesse was in at one time?
Yeah, none of Tuckers Youtube vids have ever gone viral (1 million hits). The most is from his CNN appearance in 2006.
A few comments by Tucker, and already the healing has begun. Some of you obviously felt slighted or ignored by Tucker; if that's the case, please get help. The answer to your problem is neither on TMMB nor here.
@ 6:36am
There's no need to drag the dull, ill-considered misogyny of TMMB here, that's one of the reasons TM is such a prick.
Beep Beep! Here comes the douchey fratty rape bus!
Dull, ill-considered misogyny, no. Scathingly correct illusion-shattering misogyny, yes, so 6:36 is right on. Part of why Tucker has what rep he does is that women DO go for guys like that, over and over. That's not Tucker's fault. It's not men's fault. It's the fault of the emotionally driven short-term-gratification retards that make up 80% of the female population. Whosit the female law student there talking about going to the premiere is a perfect example.
Tucker is bad but pedestaled princess syndrome is worse. Women don't deserve respect until and unless they earn it - same as anyone else. Through most of European history, women had much higher status than in other cultures, BECAUSE they earned it - because they could by and large be depended on to be dependable wives and mothers, loyal to their husbands, useful assistants in the household, wise at rearing children. Even the Romans remarked on how unusually faithful the barbarian women were, and how much respect the barbarian men gave them. There were REASONS for that, it wasn't just a gift from heaven that could be taken for granted.
Women today are losing that respect and being treated as sluts and hos because that's what their behavior earns them. Women who see a Tucker Max - or rather, the sort of alpha male that Tucker pretends to be - as somebody worth having sex with just because, are women who'll be sleeping with a different man next month, and the month after that, and after that ...
Any woman will tell you she's a one-man woman. And she's telling the truth: she wants one man, the BEST man. Whoever that happens to be right this second, regardless of whether it's the same as the guy she was with till now. And she doesn't see anything wrong with that. After all, her gina tingled, what else is she supposed to do but give in to instinct and fuck the tall dark stranger she's known for all of two hours?
This is the gift of feminism.
"There's no need to drag the dull, ill-considered misogyny of TMMB here, that's one of the reasons TM is such a prick."
Fans like that deserve everything they get. Being incredibly naive they have to have bad experiences to show them how to grow up.
What's more is having to be deluged with their prattle about how great Tucker is. As she did to apparently 15 of her friends.
The rest of us who are actually making something of ourselves see thru BS stories like this immediately, and reserve the right to retaliate for wasting valuable seconds of our lives with the utter garbage spewing from their faces.
My mommy taught me to be nice to women.
"Women will sacrifice dignity, pussy, time, etc on the off chance that they will somehow become notable for fucking a z-list celeb. Or for money."
That's the comment I was talking about when I mentioned misogyny.
Fuck knows I don't understand why anyone in their right mind would want to have sex with TM, and anyone who does is inconceivably idiotic.
But I come here to read funny deconstructions of TM's epically bloated blog-versions of himself and his success. Not to read how I - and 51% of the people in the world like me - would have sex for money. That's exactly the kind of fratty self-justifying nonsense that turned me off TM's stories in the first place.
I thought people were here 'cos they realised that all that was bullshit?
"My mommy taught me to be nice to women."
Mine did too. Unfortunately, my mommy seems to be a rather abnormal woman. For one thing it never occurred to her that she could or should "trade up" in men.
"sex for money"
Hot chicks with douchebags. Well known phenomenon. For most women, money is the magic ingredient, no matter how much they deny it, no matter how much we all wish it wasn't. It would be a MUCH MUCH BETTER world if it wasn't. But we have to deal with reality as it is, and only fix what little we can reach.
Tucker wouldn't be where he is if at least some women didn't go along with his BS. The main problem women DO have with him is that he ISN'T the ultra-fuckable alpha male (as in that blog entry linked earlier). If he was, the gina would tingle and they'd jump in the sack, no problem, no moral restraints.
"Woman is a temple built upon a sewer" - Boethius
"The main problem women DO have with him is that he ISN'T the ultra-fuckable alpha male"
Heh. That's really not what it is.
^^^enlighten us, 8:46 ... what is the REAL problem women have with Tucker Max?
It takes a very damaged, dim, fucked up woman to be attracted to whiny tubby douches like tugger. Most women however aren't like this, fortunately.
Only a douche-nozzle would let a bad experience with a woman distort his view of the other 3.5 billion of them in this world, tugger and his mom being a perfect example!
Well Tucker, you have an entire blog to read if you want to catch up.
"Not to read how I - and 51% of the people in the world like me - would have sex for money. That's exactly the kind of fratty self-justifying nonsense that turned me off TM's stories in the first place.
I thought people were here 'cos they realised that all that was bullshit?"
You're right, it's wrong of me to generalize women. Let's say...the Women that sleep with TM fall into this category most certainly.
I don't want to diverge the discussion either. But I guess I would say...You don't ever hear about Beyonces guy groupies, you hear about plenty of female groupies at a Lincoln Park concert. Why is that?
The double standard is at work both ways. While women get generalized as slutty if they sleep around and guys are studs, they also have the majority of selection power.
i.e. they have the power of choice. Girls that dress well, are intelligent, look good, or are interesting will always have guys continually approaching them.
Good looking, intelligent, solid, guys while they may attract women, don't generally have the daily issue of pussy being thrown at them.
Guys will throw dick at girls all day long. Watch that Chris Rock special...
"Open the door for her" = Want some dick?
"Can I get those bags for you" = Want some dick?
Etc, etc.
It's relevant to the discussion in that if there was a Female version of TM doing what he is doing now, guys would rarely be throwing themselves at her feet to f her.
Ask your fellow women to make you all look better but not earnings reputations of wanting to bang Z-list stars.
"Hot chicks with douchebags. Well known phenomenon. For most women, money is the magic ingredient, no matter how much they deny it, no matter how much we all wish it wasn't. It would be a MUCH MUCH BETTER world if it wasn't. But we have to deal with reality as it is, and only fix what little we can reach."
I used to be one of those Naive super nice guys that would always get hurt. I like and respect women, but now I also have tools to guard myself.
Ever heard of the ladder theory? It's extremely true. Guys just don't care ultimately about money, status, fame, etc.
Ultimately what makes us happy is having a good reliable woman and family.
This is a proven psychological dynamic of women and men. Men equate success with relationships - we can be happy while working a loser job so long as a good woman is with us, women who are in relationships but not personally successful are unhappy.
The Ladder Theory is near completely true. If it simply comes down to guy A and guy B that are near identical in every way, except money, a girl has a high probability of taking the one with more money.
"Well Tucker, you have an entire blog to read if you want to catch up."
Seriously.
It's not like there's any great secret; I can see he's a lying, manipulative prick just like anyone else (despite not having a penis *shock*). The malignant bile he spews about women at any opportunity is like an extra-special bonus.
What really bugs me personally is that he tries to justify it by saying "I'll respect a woman if she earns it"...as if women should be or need to be falling over themselves trying to "earn" TM's respect. Especially when he apparently makes zero effort to earn his own, yet expecting it all the while.
Also, that he enourages that sort of damaging drivel in younger men/boys, considering he's over 10 years older than most of them, is even more grotesque.
That's another reason his movie is going to do badly, in my opinion. From that "leaked" footage, it's clear that this attitude is reflected in the film, and that's automatically cutting out a whole load of girls/women who might go because they thought Matt Czuchry was cute in Gilmore Girls, or whatever the other two main leads were in. It also makes the lead less sympathetic in general.
That's just my opinion though. I'm not even from America, so no doubt I'll never get a chance to see my theory in action. I'll have fun seeing what happens from here though.
Edited to say: just saw the two next comments. Some fair points, with regard to economic success, etc. But TM doesn't have that. He has a very low level of internet celebrity. The girls he gets with are clearly deluded as to his success, and are always young and presumably impressionable. I've no doubt that many regret it.
My main point was just to say that making points about women in general that are using a sample of women who have had sex with Tucker fucking Max is reductive and nonsensical.
And if there was a female version of TM, she'd be called a slut and told to get mental help (cf. Bunny).
Also, no one mentions Beyonce's groupies because a load of chaps wanting to have sex with her is deemed as fine and normal because its accepted that men have high sex-drives and would want to fuck her. Female groupies, on the other hand, are seen as fame-whoring sluts who will do anything to be near success. Nearly exactly what you were talking about above.
"It's relevant to the discussion in that if there was a Female version of TM doing what he is doing now, guys would rarely be throwing themselves at her feet to f her."
Because if there's one thing modern society has taught us, it's that perpetually horny and drunk women are seldom frequented by men...
Look, men and women both suck. Many women will fall over themselves to suck some wealthy, fat dude's cock, and plenty of men have cheated on their faithful partners. In South Africa, one in every three women is raped (or something ridiculous like that). Men are pricks.
Everyone sucks. As there is no objective way to evaluate which gender sucks more, let's return to our spirited hatred of Tucker Max.
Some comments:
1) It always amuses me when people come to a place where anyone can post anonymously and expect uniformity of attitudes. Think about it.
2) Tucker has a very sick personality that the vast majority of people of either gender find repulsive. This is not up for serious debate, but it's also not what makes him interesting.
3) Tucker has spent most of his life being reviled by most people who know him and experiencing the type of subtle mockery and rejection that flies in the face of his idealized version of himself...even our sometimes viciously funny mockery will never be transformative for him because he is not capable of personal growth in the way that truly intelligent people are.
People who don't agree with these points account for 82% of Extenze sales and they buy a lot of bridges in their free time.
for the most part, only unattractive women like tucker, due to their low self esteeem.
tucker's myspace movie page: 806 friends + 22 comments = private jet
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
only hot girls are fans!
http://www.myspace.com/stephanepalie3
http://www.myspace.com/joshlynn_luttrell
"Ft. Hood screening going great, same as all the screenings. I cannot wait until September 25th. Private jet, here I come."9:19 PM Jul 19th from TwitterFon
--Tucker Max http://twitter.com/TuckerMax/status/2733204001
"Because if there's one thing modern society has taught us, it's that perpetually horny and drunk women are seldom frequented by men..."
Not what I was pointing to. Girls that are internet celebs, real celebs, etc don't have near the same level (if at all) of groupies who are offering them sex.
Offering sex is part of a guys normal routine, it wouldn't matter if it was Beyonce or the girl next door.
Women don't offer sex daily to lots and lots of men. But get a celeb, or money and those morals will come crashing down.
Men are just openly immoral, and ok with that. Women like to be more sly.
I may be generalizing, and I apologize. But it's true.
Compare any movie star, athlete, singer, female to male and see which ones have groupies all the time. It's all the male ones.
(cf. Bunny).
My point exactly. Guys will fuck Bunny, but there are no groupies e-mailing her just to fuck. Why when they know they can get her without having to offer themselves up?
As opposed to TM, that girls will e-mail and offer sex as an introduction. And they are deluded, you are right.
I'm sorry for being off topic.
The people are correct, returning to Tucker Max would be appropriate.
I just wish females wouldn't give this douche a reason to think he's the ultimate guy.
Trailer...
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=61510276
I just wish men wouldn't make generalizations about women based on their perception of a small subset of the overall population. I don't think the guys on this board would appreciate it if we women assumed that you are all essentially the same as Tucker.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
Tucker was right about not using the best jokes in the trailer. That preview was lame and unfunny.
Many women DO make generalizations about men based on their perception of a small subset of the overall population....this is not gender specific. And it's wrong no matter who does it. But..
More importantly.
DO. NOT. TASE. ME. BRO.
Let's get back to Tucker Max Fail, which was recently added to the urban dictionary.
Seriously. Why are we debating gender issues when there's a fresh trailer to be mocked.
full disclosure time: i am a tucker hater. but that said, the trailer looks horrible. the actors are terrible. it does not look like a professional movie. sometimes you cant hear what the actors are saying, and other times it just looks contrived. this is not a movie i would see, even if i didnt hate tucker.
and for the record, i loved 'the hangover' and 'bruno' and im in the age demographic of person who should like this. this is a horrible movie and should go straight to dvd. i hope no one believes in this movie except for t max
The trailer was fucking awesome. There's really nothing to mock.
The movie - judging from the trailer - is definitely one of the best comedies this year.
.. I'm disappointed. The way you guys mocked Tucker, I was expecting something utterly crappy, but in fact, this trailer makes me want want to illegally download this movie once it's released.
The only thing to say about the trailer is...YAWN. Nothing funny in it at all, and Czuchry is hardly glamorous yet much more so than real life Tucker (who I know).
And anybody who believes that Tucker left out the "funniest" jokes should ask himself or herself this question "If you made a movie that most likely will be completely ignored, which will most likely lead to a definitive dashing of your hopes of someday making a living as an entertainer/low level celebrity, would you leave out the funniest jokes in the primary marketing vehicle for this movie?"
Exactly.
^^Umm...positive review guy. Neither sarcasm nor acute retardation comes across well in the absence of non-verbal cues. Take it to the TMMB.
I'm the positive review guy.
I was being sarcastic ... geez ... did you watch the trailer? If you thought I was serious, you've probably got a brain tumor the size of a fist.
If you can't detect sarcasm in the absence of non-verbal cues, you're just not ready for the Internet.
With all that said .. I'll still probably D/L the movie once the time comes.
Out of pure malicious fun, I hope someone uploads it. I'm not sure anyone will be that motivated. That movie has Tucker Max Fail written all over it.
In South Africa, one in every three women is raped (or something ridiculous like that). Men are pricks.
----------------------
What a load of crap. That's some feminist driven bullshit distortion. They claim consentual sex when the female is drunk is rape and other such dishonest drivel. I lived in South Africa for 7 years and never met anyone who was raped. Be critical of what you read, especially when it sounds so alarmist and sensational.
Going by similiar feminist campaigns Canada, Australia and the States make up the top 5 rape countries.
Other forms of definitions of rape used to make stats.
- Consentual sex ammongst married couples, when the female is just having sex to keep the man happy.
-Consentual sex when the female is drunk.
-Consentual sex , where the female regrets it after.
etc etc
Also, no one mentions Beyonce's groupies because a load of chaps wanting to have sex with her is deemed as fine and normal because its accepted that men have high sex-drives and would want to fuck her. Female groupies, on the other hand, are seen as fame-whoring sluts who will do anything to be near success. Nearly exactly what you were talking about above.
----------------
Beyonce is hot and guys would want to shag her no matter what her status as a celebrity was.
Tucker max is Fugly !! Any women going out of her way to shag him is doing so for shallow reasons.
12:19 PM, if you are not a troll, you should probably be aware that you are even more effective than an intentional troll, in terms of driving away readers.
I can't stomach this anymore. Bye, guys. It's been...interesting.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
christ, that trailer was a botched abortion, it actually make the 'leaked' footage with the 80 fucks in it look good; which is an achievement in a way.
Can't see the trailer. Help !
12:19 PM, if you are not a troll, you should probably be aware that you are even more effective than an intentional troll, in terms of driving away readers.
I can't stomach this anymore. Bye, guys. It's been...interesting.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
----------
Run along now. Man talk.
Mixed reactions on the trailer on twitter. Search tucker max for some funny.
I've been following this trainwreck for such a long time that I was excited and nervous for the trailer. Excited, because some undeniable evidence would finally be available to make my assessment, and nervous because I was afraid it would be good (why would it be bad if it were good? Well, I think it would be bad for Tucker if his movie were a success--assuming he's not already unredeemable, a successful movie career would almost certainly push him over the edge; moreover, I think it would be bad for (or indicative of a bad) society if a movie glorifying TM's lifestyle were applauded; finally, it would make me feel guilty for ragging on his aesthetic abilities for so long).
That said, I, a Tucker hater, didn't think the trailer was that bad. It looked more like a professional movie than I expected--I thought it was edited well, and had the feel of something important (a feeling probably due to the music). I thought the acting was spotty; there were times when I felt the actors were in character, but just as much of the time I could see the 'acting' pouring off of them (except Bradford, who didn't seem ever to have a good line delivery). The "you're next, Gertrude" line elicited a chuckle. The scene where TM was surrounded by adoring women while bathed in a blue light was off-putting--it confirmed the whole Mary Sue-ism motivating this film project--but the scene where he was running through the hotel in a rectal panic was enjoyable, mainly because I wanted to see his character get his just desserts.
Overall, I'd say it was better than a straight-to-DVD trailer, and if I didn't know as much as I do about the movie, I'd be open to seeing it, as long as the reviews were positive.
Tucker Max tried to rape me!
Well I don't know about the rest of you, but I definitely see a genre-defying, paradigm-shifting, artistically sound film there.
"Is it telling you to kill that fat girl over there?" will go down in history with some of the most profound quotes of our time.
I can't believe he's been aware of this shit for a year and calling it his "art". He knew people were gonna see it eventually...?
That's just embarassing.
Wow. Trailer Tucker Max failed.
"What a load of crap. That's some feminist driven bullshit distortion. They claim consentual sex when the female is drunk is rape and other such dishonest drivel. I lived in South Africa for 7 years and never met anyone who was raped. Be critical of what you read, especially when it sounds so alarmist and sensational."
Take it easy my good chum. I'm from South Africa, and have a number of female friends that have been raped.
Let's assume that the number is distorted though (I may even have heard it wrong). What if it's one in fifty? Or one in 100? Surely that's still one too many?
I'm male, incidentally, so I'm not just traipsing with wreckless abandon into the joys of feminism. Just pointing out that for every woman that has sucked a greater number of cocks than is safe or reasonable, there's a horror story about a controlling guy that abuses his girlfriend.
People suck.
See Tucker fail. Fail, Tucker, fail!
Seriously, it's going to be hilarious to witness Tucker's reaction when his movie doesn't even break even. Who will he blame next?
Take it easy my good chum. I'm from South Africa, and have a number of female friends that have been raped.
-----------
1 in 3 ?
Bullshit. Anyone proposing such crazy distorted numbers is pushing an agenda. Even 1 in 100 would shock me, really shock the socks off of me, if it was true. I'd guess a much lower % if we're talking about the conventionally understood definition of rape. Anyway, let's not bore people and keep this Tucker Max related.
I hate Tucker Max as much as anyone , but the perspective that he promotes rape etc plays no part. To hate Tucker Max because you're a femnist is to be even more of a douche tan Tucker Max. Any women willing to shag this guy deserve everything they get.
I'm in the "can't stand Tucker but the trailer was well done camp": if the editing in the movie is as crisp as the trailer, it could be decent.
Of course it has no distribution along with the 80 other problems already debated ad nauseum, so we'll see.
If it were any good, a real distributor would have jumped on it.
IFTB
I'm male, incidentally, so I'm not just traipsing with wreckless abandon into the joys of feminism. Just pointing out that for every woman that has sucked a greater number of cocks than is safe or reasonable, there's a horror story about a controlling guy that abuses his girlfriend.
People suck.
-----------
The fact that there are men that suck is not only well represented in the media and the zeitgiest, t's in fact over stated and sensationalised.
On the other hand the fact that women are not all pure of heart princesses and innocent victims is grossly under reported. And it's been this way for years.
Anyone thinking women's agenda's and rights are what needs more focus in this day and age are really redundant and boring. We get that idea shoved down our throats in some of the most hyperbolic ways and I'm simply pointing that out.
Seriously. Back to Tucker.
How was the trailer good in any way ? Not a single line was funny, original or made me want to go watch this film.
Please explain to me what's not aweful about this trailer ?
check out all of tucker's fans http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/threads/
hahya haha aha haa ha haha
the trailer is total suckage.
haha ah aha ha ha mostopholes
so obvious you are working for/with tucker dudette.
haaha ha ha ah aha h aha ha.
tucker must have promised you a seat in his private jet for all your hard work in exalting douchebaggery.
the best part about riding on that tucker jet will be when you look out the window and see the fuel truck pulling up to fuel on plane. but instead of saying "jet fuel," it will say DOUCHE on the side. and then, and only then, will you start wondering if it just might not take off after all, as tucker promised, as beads of sweat form on your back. but still, you will be too afraid to say or do anything, as you have invested too much in the lie and cashed out too much of your soul to evil. even though tucker is incapable of the third act and thus art, that does not mean that life is.
haa ah aha ah aha ah aha ahaa.
http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml
you worship tucker because he rose to power by making fun of innnocent bystanders--of minorities and overweight women. you worship tucker because he is art's antithesis--a poopy stroy desecrator and debaucher. you worship tucker because unlike the innocent bystanders he pleasures himself and his friends in torturing, you have no soul:
11:17: The girl starts saying something about what a horrible person I am. I stare at her, but I am not listening. I am preparing myself. I am B-Rabbit. This is the final battle rap. I will win the hostile crowd:
[I interrupt the fat girl] "Ward, I think you're being a little hard on the Beaver, [as I point to each in turn] so is Eddie Haskell, Wally, and Miss Cleaver."
[To the fat guy with greasy hair in the camo vest] "Look out everyone! It's the Pillsbury Commando! Hey Chunk, when was the last time you washed your hair? Does it give you more hit points to have that grease helmet? I hate to break the news, but +5 defense only counts in Dungeons and Dragons."
[To the ugly Asian girl] "Why you no rike me? You want me frip over? You no piss me off! ME FIND YOU IN POCKING ROT!! YOU NO TAKE MING ARIVE!!"
[To the small frail dork--I notice he has a lazy eye] "Dude--Look at me when I'm talking to you--BOTH EYES AT ONCE. Are you really this ugly or are you just playing? EVERYONE, BE CAREFUL, THIS GUY LURKS UNDER THE STAIRS AND TRIES TO LICK YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU PASS BY!"
[To the original fatty, pause for effect] "Why do you do this to yourself? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF? Look, I'm gonna give you some advice-leave the party, take the geek squad with you, go to Denny's, order about 10 Grand Slam Breakfasts, and eat your pain away. Won't be the first time will it?"
that is the spirit that pervades and drives the trailer.
--http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the_absinthe_donuts_story.phtml
The trailer leads me to believe the movie isn't going to do the story any justice.
Yes. I did say that. That's how fucking terrible the trailer is.
The trailer reviews are pretty funny. The Tucker fans come across as lame high school kids. They're not exactly scoring points for the home team, are they Tucker?
Ok. I've watched the trailer.
Overall, it's pretty well-made (in a technical sense. Well edited and all that). Other comments:
1) It's clear that the acting is below par. I was convinced that Czuchry was about to summon the Lost Boys. Which is quite appropriate for Tucker Max, now that I think about it, "We'll never grow up!"
2) The opening scene is moderately funny. Unless you're obese, obviously. Which surely means a large chunk of Americans will be offended.
3) The Scott Peterson reference is kinda obscure. Is he really so well known that kids are going to be rolling in the aisles?
4) The scene at the end with Paul Wall (whoever the hell that is), is all sorts of retarded. It would have made more sense to have Snoop Dogg resident from Scrubs look at the camera and go, "Where my ho's at?"
5) The rest is pretty lame/generic.
That's about as objective as I can be.
If the trailer (and movie) were made by a group of college students for film class (as part of a thesis or whatever) I would think it is fairly good. But as a real movie? Kinda shitty.
Last night I'm out with Bunny and D-Rock at my new favorite Chicago bar. He sees a girl he wants to hit on, and of course, I am obligated to talk to her fat friend.
But this was a different fat girl. This fat girl thought she was smart. That is a bad thing for a fat girl to think...especially when she is almost criminally stupid. And around Tucker Max.
She asked me what I did for a living. I told her she wouldn't believe me. She insisted I tell her. I told her I was a diet consultant. She asked me where I went to school. Then it got bad:
Fat girl "Where did you go to school?"
Tucker "University of Chicago."
Fat girl "What was your degree in?"
Tucker "Econ."
Fat girl "Econ? What can you do with an econ degree?"
At that point, I was laughing so hard I had to walk away. D-Rock just shook his head.
Fat girl "No really, what can you do with an econ degree?"
Tucker "You obviously went to a state school. A BAD state school."
Fat girl "I want to know what you can do with an econ degree."
Tucker "Do you even know what finance is?"
Fat girl "You can't work in finance with an econ degree. You need a finance degree."
God bless her oversized heart. I haven't laughed that hard in months. While I composed myself, D-Rock tried to explain to her that an econ degree from the University of Chicago is one of the top five most marketable degrees, along with engineering/comp sci from MIT and maybe one or two Harvard degrees. And that a finance degree is basically just a watered down econ degree for stupid state school idiots. I finally composed myself and came back for the resolution:
Tucker "Seriously, what state school did you go to?"
Fat girl "Michigan State."
Tucker "HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHAHA. YOU ARE SO STUPID I FEEL BAD FOR YOU! HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH."
Unintentional comedy at it's finest. It's not easy to make me laugh that hard.
My 2 cents:
well, there was one funny moment.
Based on a true story
... unfortunately
Oh, and czcxery sipping on the coke indifferently.
Sorry tugger, but it looks like the revolution won't be appearing in theatre either.
"1 in 3 ?
Bullshit. Anyone proposing such crazy distorted numbers is pushing an agenda. Even 1 in 100 would shock me, "
In South Africa, those numbers are about right. Yes it is shocking. No it does not get reported, because The Story that is Allowed(tm) to come out of SA is the glorious revolution of blacks taking over from evil whites and making everything better. If blacks take over and everything gets worse, well, we can't have THAT. So all sorts of relevant facts about SA just do not get reported in the media.
(And often it is blacks raping other blacks, so there's no reverse racist crap to bring in here. They're just that decivilized.)
Pain is an illusion of the senses; despair an illusion of the mind.
COWARDS DIE IN SHAME.
Hey Tucker! Don't listen to the haterz. That private jet is still within reach.
What you need to redo your movie, but this time as a comedy rather than a tragedy.
To anybody who is not a teenager and has an IQ of at least 80, hearing about Tucker lampooning himself with lies and unsubstantiated bravado is far funnier than any intentional humor that ever came from his camp.
Tucker life story:
1) Five year high school plan
2) Most watered down degree at a school he didn't earn his way into
3) After that name brand school got him into another school he didn't earn his way into, performed poorly and was essentially blacklisted from legal profession before graduation
4) Never passed bar exam
5) Fired from a Dad job
6) Desperate attempt to fetishize his youth and worldview via made up stories
See...the whole Tucker punchline that he wants to create for you with his fish tales is that he was this high achiever with this crazily progressive world view. This works better if the unstated backdrop of Tucker's youth is that he will move on to bigger and better things as a productive member of society.
But what happened in real life? His laziness and incompetence was exposed early in adulthood, and once exposed as a fraud, he has spent the better part of ten years in a desperate attempt to gain validation through this fake persona on the internet who creates these widely exaggerated stories, which ultimately only exposed him as more of a fraud since almost everybody can see through them.
Tucker is working on the private jet, just as soon as he figures out how to pay the electric bill since his 22% interest credit card is maxed out. He might have to trade in his Chevy Malibu soon, but it is all part of a bigger plan.
What's with this claim that only 5% of the jokes are in the trailer?
Wow! No shit? I mean, it's not like we only saw 2% of the movie...
Or maybe even the fanboys were only expecting about five jokes?
In South Africa, those numbers are about right. Yes it is shocking. No it does not get reported, because The Story that is Allowed(tm) to come out of SA is the glorious revolution of blacks taking over from evil whites and making everything better. If blacks take over and everything gets worse, well, we can't have THAT. So all sorts of relevant facts about SA just do not get reported in the media.
(And often it is blacks raping other blacks, so there's no reverse racist crap to bring in here. They're just that decivilized.)
-------------
Don't get reported ? You serious ? If you believed the media you would think you were lucky to make it to work alive in South Africa. Be honest now, you're a horrible awful racist who has a serious agenda to want to believe the country has gone to hell. Whatever ! Take it elsewere ! You want to talk about femnism or Tucker Max, this might be the place. But don't come here with your boring white south african horror stories to try and push your right wing extremist agenda. We don't care !
Jokes?
The only funny bit of the trailer was that paul wall down-syndrome look alike right at the end.
Oh, and that 'based on a true story' bullshit.
@3:04. Dude, seriously, are you still talking about rape statistics? Right wing extremist agenda?
:/
Here's a link:
http://www.sundayindependent.co.za/index.php?fSectionId=1042&fArticleId=2238856
"Though the Law Reform Commission estimates there are 1,7 million rapes a year, on average only 54 000 rape survivors lay charges each year. Why? It is because rape survivors are treated so badly by so many."
That's about 54000 too many.
Anyways, this thread is being derailed by rape. The Beers in Hell trailer is legitimately shit. Crucify it!
Wow! Is that trailer really for a movie that is going to be shown on movie screens throughout the country? Who would pay $10 apiece to see that pile of shit? Based on that two minute trailer, it's clear that the guy playing Tucker is not a good actor. Also, the "jokes" were incredibly lame. I thought that a trailer was supposed to make people want to go see a movie. I guess I was wrong.
Where is the revolutionary website? No, I'm serious. Tucker said the website would be mind blowing. That it would do things that no other movie website had done before. That it would retain it's usability after the movie hype was long gone.
So, where is it?
The website presented is a low budget piece of shit based entirely upon standard movie websites.
Could be worse. Could have been done by Bunny.
According to Gawker, Tucker said, "Yes, the tickets are only $10. I know we could have charged $20 or even $30, but we decided that if the point of this is to reach out to fans and experience the movie with them, then we should make the price as low as possible to include as many as possible."
Did he really say that? Was he serious???
Here are some reviews of the trailer:
http://blog.spout.com/2009/08/04/i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-trailer-is-awful-today-in-film-bloggery-080409/
http://videogum.com/archives/trailer/someone-has-cleary-fasttracked-tucker-maxs-i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-for-the-worst-movie-of-all-time_082841.html
"Someone Has Cleary Fast-Tracked Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell For The Worst Movie Of All Time
In case you don't know who Tucker Max is (lucky!), he's some shithead blogger who blogged about what a shithead he was and then turned that into a book and now they've turned that into a movie, and holy shit, you guys, I hope you brought your cyanide capsules because I'm not sure how we're going to get out of this one! The enemy is all around us!
What is this? This is a movie? This is not a movie. It's like they swept up The Hangover's cutting room floor, Tucker Max jerked off onto it, and then dropped it into a vat of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? "Dip." (No offense to The Hangover.) My apologies to Driven and Pay It Forward and Bicentennial Man. You are all wonderful masterpieces in this new world order. (Elizabethtown is still a piece of shit.)"
"econ degree from the University of Chicago is one of the top five most marketable degrees, along with engineering/comp sci from MIT and maybe one or two Harvard degrees. And that a finance degree is basically just a watered down econ degree for stupid state school idiots. I finally composed myself and came back for the resolution:
Tucker "Seriously, what state school did you go to?"
Fat girl "Michigan State."
Tucker "HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHHAHA. YOU ARE SO STUPID I FEEL BAD FOR YOU! HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH."
Unintentional comedy at it's finest. It's not easy to make me laugh that hard"
Considering Tucker doesn't have an econ degree from UoC.
And an Econ degree is in no way comparable to a degree in engineering from MIT.
Michigan State is actually one of the top engineering schools in the country (and business too on the MBA).
But of course, being Tucker. His degree in letters and law is not as marketable as an econ degree. (Which also is really not that marketable, you get the MBA if you are going all out econ)
The website is junk. A bit of flash & the same links that have always been up? And Tucker paid them how much for this?
I do think the tour could be a success, and the key to making the movie work/build buzz: if the press attends (a HUGE if), and the theater is packed with Tucker fanboys, they'll likely get some coverage. However since Tucker's fans are almost as big a douchebags as him, it could backfire.
If I were grading so far:
Trailer: B-
Website: D
Leaked footage: F
Tour rollout: B
Living up to Tucker's hype: F
Fail Factor: A+
IFTB
If I was the girl from Michigan State, and I was going in engineering, I would have laughed in Tuckers face.
Unlike that douche, engineers don't back down from "Econometrics" because of some "Tough" math.
Engineers also often go into econ/MBA professions because it can be picked up readily without having to take many classes.
And again, I'm sure Tucks degree in letter and law gave him the right to gloat. What a loser.
All of this noise about feminism and rape makes this board sound like the women's studies class I took freshman year in college to fulfil a requirement. (don't ask). Nobody learned from each other or even managed to have civil discussions. Everyone who spoke got on a soapbox and just shouted. This board used to be so cool, man, and now it's a sounding board for hackneyed theories about sexism and racism? For real?
And dude, it's really uncool to go sound calling folks "uncivilized." more uncool than fucker max and his stupid Magic Johnson joke.
Ok guys,
I think digg (or more accurately, diggers) are fairly stupid. That said, I'd guess they're a good representation of tucker's target audience.
Well, they have a thread on his movie, and the results aren't good. Read for yourself.
What's the deal with that Magic Johnson joke, by the way?
It's either incredibly dumb, or there's some facet of it that I'm not getting.
...I'm obviously assuming the former.
I'm a hater. Watched it once on mobile youtube. Was edited well. Would have laughed at the fat girl line if it wasn't so awkwardly delivered. Couldn't understand most of that they said. Was edited like an action film.. Not a comedy.
4:22 PM: From the leaked script.
TUCKER
It’s not that bad, dude. You always
get stuck in these cycles. When you
get depressed like this, you need
to ask yourself What would Tucker
do?, and then go do that.
AARON
I already know what you would do,
and I have no desire to get HIV
from one of the cum dumpsters into
whom you shoot your emotional pain
every weekend.
TUCKER
You know HIV is basically curable
now. It doesn’t even show up in
Magic Johnson’s blood anymore.
AARON
You’re telling me that Magic
Johnson is black AND has he has it better than me?13.
Whoops -- last line was supposed to be:
AARON
You’re telling me that Magic
Johnson is black AND has AIDS...and
he has it better than me?
http://www.facebook.com/s.php?init=q&q=i%20hope%20they%20serve%20beer%20in%20hell%20movie&ref=ts#/photo.php?pid=1358174&op=1&o=global&view=global&subj=26805618&id=574954755
This pic sums up Tucker's douchiness: a crotch grab in a photo at age 34.
Nils has a lazy eye. Or is retarded. Not sure which is worse.
A comment from IHTSBIH facebook page:
"Matthew: Just watched the trailer! I predict this movie to top Hangover at the box office. See you in Chicago!"
Wow. What a delusional fuck that guy is.
Oh my god. That trailer was an abortion.
Jesse Bradford possibly has the worst deliver I've ever seen in comedic film.
His HepC, Scott Peterson, Majic Johnson was some of the worst I've ever seen.
The Hep C deliver may be the #1 worst line I've ever seen in film. I'm not even kidding. His deliver was so over acted, trying to emphasize the joke too much.
Like if he doesn't, we won't get it.
I honestly did not even crack a wry smirk. Not once. The opening line is creepy, "Watcha doin" he sounds like a stalker.
And Matt was the absolute wrong actor for the role. He comes off nice, and high pitched voice, and too pretty.
It was just horribly bad. I mean, I don't like Tucker anyway. But objectively I would never pay to see this movie ever.
I had about 10 people watch it who have never heard of Tucker and they all said they wouldn't pay to see it at BO or on DVD and if something better was on TV that day, they wouldn't even watch it then.
Ok, I just watched the trailer. I've changed my mind. I actually think this is going to be a good movie. I think it's going to be fun. Normally these drunkard comedies are just stupid, but this one looks like it's straightforward enough to avoid trying too hard, which is what kills most modern comedies.
Tucker, after I see it, I expect to come back here and post about how I was wrong. I'm a big man, I can do that. I'd still like you to admit you made up the donut shop though.
"And dude, it's really uncool to go sound calling folks "uncivilized.""
Oh, right, like mass rape and honor-killing beheadings and sacrificing chickens to the gods in the apartment building stairway IS cool.
Nope, uncivilized is exactly the right word for a whole bunch of people on this planet.
ill just leave this here
--
OK. Time to put men out of your misery. Feminism was and is the biggest con in history. We talked endlessly about "equality" yet that was the last thing we wanted. You men have yet to realise that women never say what we mean. It is always shrouded in hyperbole and imagery.
So now, we are so close to having our cake and eating it. Here are just a few examples.
1) We can take you to the cleaners in divorce. No suggestion of equality there. We can have affairs and divorce you and we STILL get the house and maintenance for as long as we need. There is now absolutely no risk in a woman filing for divorce. You men don't even have the right to shag us any more. More and more women are making their husbands live celebate lives in marriage. Once we have that ring on our finger we rule! I am only 27. I have been married three times. Each one I stayed with for three years and then took for every penny I could get. You see, we only have to convince a judge of "irretreivable breakdown" of the relationship. And how is that determined? Easy. When ONE party does not wish the relationship to continue. My current husband needs another year I would say. The business he has built up is not quite where I need it to be yet. When it is, he will go the same way as the others. The house is already mine "for tazx reasons". At least thats what he thinks. I "allowed" my name to be put on the deeds, but he will find come the day that this just means the house is mine already. I tend to go for cash settlements with regard to maintenance which leaves me free to start again. Not that I need to now. By the time I have ditched this poor sap, I will have more than enough to live a very good lifestyle with for the rest of my life. Even if money starts to run short I can always do it again. It's not as if I have to have sex much either. I pick men who are on the way up building their buisnesses. The hours they put in mean they are usually too tired and if they have affairs with their secretaries, well, that just makes it easier for me.
2) We get far less severe prison sentences for the same crimes. We can even murder our new born children and it is written off as Post Natal Depression. Women's groups all over the world are working for the day when no woman will ever be sent to prison for any crime. ANd trust me, that day will come.
3) In the work place not only do we get paid for taking time off to have children, but now we even get pay rises while we are off, an absolute right in law to return to the job we left and in some cases now, we even get promoted while we are on leave. Employers have to invest in our training, but we are free to screw them over by taking all the training and qualifications we can get of of them and then leaving.
4) We now have senior politicians who advocate "positive descrimination" . In other words, if you are a white male, you are where you belong. At the bottom of the heap. Women are eased into top jobs and ministerial positions in Government. The Sisterhood is alive and well and working beautifully. The Labour Government, always breathtakingly stupid has actually gone as far as prohibiting the selection of male candidates in some wards. Fantastic.
And you poor men. What can one say? All you need is a little show of panty now and then and you are putty in our hands. You and you alone have allowed us to take this supremecy and you have done so without a whimper. When I joined the feminist movement, I didnt really buy into the more vitriolic mantras of "all men are pigs" and "the only good man is a doormat", but now I see you for what you are. A means of providing what I want.
Is that Tucker as a COP on the right at the 1:31 mark?
http://www.myspace.com/trailerpark
hahha
8/04/2009 5:35 PM: Man, I hope you're joking.
"Normally these drunkard comedies are just stupid, but this one looks like it's straightforward enough to avoid trying too hard, which is what kills most modern comedies."
Watch Jesse Bradfords delivery of every line. It is forced, unnatural, and over emphasized.
And don't feed the trolls.
TDG, Cute Feminist, and anyone else who has been driven off by the idiots getting off topic...I hope you stick around and do what the rest of us are doing, ignoring them. They'll go away, they always do.
Commenter expat wrote in response to yesterday’s post about women falling deeper in love with guys like Chris Brown who physically abuse them:
After six months of casually dating a tweenager, I caught her having a fling. I might have put up with the fling, but she broke dates three nights in a row, and I became enraged by her rudeness. Those two left jabs to her face remain vivid in my brain. I must say it was an extremely intense moment – a moment of pleasure.
She says she fell in love with me at that precise point. She took me much more seriously after that.
I’ve never forgotten that life lesson. I do my best not to put myself in a situation where I’ll choose that action again. I don’t want to be that guy. But having been that guy shows a world we are told does not exist.
This is going to be a very difficult post for some of you to handle. I suggest those of you who faint at the thought of pulling off a band-aid or getting an erection at an inappropriate time pack up your dog-eared copy of The Vagina Monologues and leave now. Furthermore, anyone who can’t distinguish is from ought would be best served leaving as well.
Expat’s observation of the effect his hit had on his woman, and the experiences of those men who have talked to me about similar scenarios, mirrors my own experience. One time I backhanded my girlfriend across the face. Hard. I won’t get into the details of what led up to the altercation, except to say that the slap was fully deserved. She stumbled backwards, her hair flying in ribbons, and looked up at me holding her hand to her face. She was quiet. A few seconds of silence passed. I went and sat on the sofa in the other room for a while, then stepped outside for a walk. She was still there when I came back later that night. She sidled up to me and began pawing my chest and crotch, frantically pulling my shirt off over my head with one hand while unbuttoning her jeans with the other. No words were exchanged. In seconds we were naked, as the streetlamp outside cast shards of yellowish light on the walls.
Not to put too lewd a point on it, but her pussy was wetter than it had ever been. As she was preparing to straddle me, long streamers of mucousy pussy juice dripped from her labia onto my rock hard cock below. I remember it clear as day — the viscous juice was a faintly pale yellow, illuminated by the streetlamp light and the flicker of a TV nearby. I put my hand on the spot in between her breasts, and her heart thumped like a bass drum. She moaned in a deep, gutteral way that you only hear from big predators as they are hunched over a kill gorging themselves. My cock was burning up inside her pussy, which felt like a coal fired oven.
It was the hottest sex I had ever had with her. Her passion exploded like a fireworks finale, finishing in a thermonuclear bomb of lust. Afterwards, she said her orgasms were so intense that she had almost passed out. She described seeing pinpricks of light dancing in her mind.
I have taken this experience with me to this day. I’ve had verbal fights with girlfriends before. I’ve walked out on girlfriends. I know how great after-fight sex can be (I prefer the term “after-fight” to “make-up” sex, as it better explains the underlying dynamics at play). But nothing came close in passionate intensity… no sex was hotter… than that time I backhanded my girl across her cheek. It was simple math to me — my unexpected and sudden slap had turned her on so much it left her quivering in bodyshaking orgasmic release.
I’m not going to argue in this post whether hitting a woman is alpha or beta. My belief is that on average it is the method of a lesser alpha — a transcendent alpha substitutes self-possessed mindfucking for hitting, but a nascent lesser alpha who is relatively unaccustomed to the psychoflaying provocations of especially beautiful women will often let his emotions get the best of him. I have never known a beta to hit a woman; they simply don’t have the testosterone or ballsack to do so. Most men are deathly afraid of the idea of hitting a girlfriend when she gets out of line, even more afraid than the thought of hitting another man. Therefore, I do not subscribe to the argument that hitting a “weaker woman” is inherently beta. In fact, if betas landed at least one well-placed, exquisitely timed slap on a bitchy girlfriend, many of them would see their relationships improve. This is an ugly truth about women that so many refuse to confront.
Women especially do not like to confront this fact about themselves because they fear their own untameable contours of sexual desire. Women understand that if men knew what actually motivates their libido, they would be taken advantage of as their will crumbled under the onslaught of his refurbished masculine energy. They would lose their leverage in the sexual market. They would be compelled to surrender, utterly, completely, totally.
i loved that he was so powerful i was nothing.
- O, on her sadistic lover
Note that hitting a woman is context dependent. You cannot walk up to a random woman on the street, slap her in the grill, and expect her to jump your bone. Nor can you hit a woman on the first date, hoping it will close the deal. Hitting, in powerful SINGULAR bursts no more than one slap at a time, will only have the intended pussy moistening effect on women who are already in your sexual orbit. She must be your girlfriend or lover. If she isn’t already intrigued by you, hitting her won’t make her so.
For practical reasons, you should never hit a wife. Although it will fire up her loins and deepen her love for you in the moment, when the divorce comes (50% chance) at a future date, her sleazebag lawyer will coax those pleasant memories out of her and use your moment of expressive masculinity against you to royally screw you for all eternity. Yet another reason not to get married.
Commenter Paul “Faygala” Gowder wrote:
Roissy claims that the refusal of domestic violence victims to speak to the cops reveals that women like being beaten. That is such utter idiocy and dangerous drivel that it makes me practically dizzy to see that someone wrote it.
Paul is your typical lickspittle betaboy SWPLer feminist suck-up who has imbibed deeply of the reigning orthodoxy. His pinched soul is a warped and shriveled nutsack of legalese sophistry. His shoulder is drenched from years of unattainable girls crying on it. Behold him, for he is the personification and the foot soldier of the Great Lie.
I am not claiming that women WISH to be beaten. Naturally, if you ask a woman, she will say “No way I don’t want to be beaten!”. What I do claim is that despite a woman’s conscious feelings towards abusers, her loins and her heart melt for men who abuse them, as can be seen by not only their return trips to the poisoned well (50% of women return to their abusive lovers), but by their very REAL and GENUINE love for their violently abusive lovers. Nothwithstanding to the contrary all the feminist squid ink attempting to whitewash in proper PC politesse why women go back to men who hit them, the simplest, and most parsimonious explanation, is that women return to abusers because THEY LOVE THEM. They are drawn to them. I have looked into the eyes of women who were in relationships with men who hit them, and I saw love. True, deep, fathomless love. If you have ever seen the eyes of a woman in love, you’ll know what I mean. They look as if they’re cavorting on another plane of existence.
Even beautiful women like Rihanna, with nearly illimitable options on the sexual market and an extensive support network that would protect her from abusive boyfriends, cannot help but keep going back to the man who hits her. Rihanna is said to be lonely without Chris Brown. She could have almost any man, but she chooses the man who punched her in the face.
I believe this is an ingrained hindbrain preference generally shared by most women that refuses to comfort the egos of the faint of heart and the blind of reality. Now whether this innate preference is a misfiring of the female brain’s coding for dominant men, or simply an extreme example of such a preference that lies along a spectrum of lust for men possessing varying degrees of dominance is open for discussion. But one thing is clear:
Chicks dig power, and hitting a woman is a form of power.
My thesis, based on this fundamental understanding of female psychology, is that women get turned on by the display of power when a man delivers a hit, even, maybe especially, a hit that targets herself.
Roissy Maxim #2: Women are turned on by displays of male power. Striking in anger or contempt or disciplinary scorn is one such form of power.
Be aware that none of what I’ve written above is a deliberation on the morality of hitting women. I explain reality and human nature as it is, and in so doing give you the tools with which to advantage yourselves. I leave the decision of what to do with these tools up to you. The Dark Church of Roissy exists beyond the shackles of morality, where angels fear to tread.
Personally, I don’t advocate hitting women, despite knowing full well that it works. In this day and age, it is a risky venture, and there are better methods of training your girlfriend to be the best woman she can be to you. The right frame of mind and tight game will be just as effective, if not moreso in the long run, as a firm slap for turning your girlfriend into an Army of One Loyal Pussy.
Furthermore, it has been my experience that reaching the heights of alphadom precludes frequent emotional outbursts that would result in a physical confrontation. Striking in anger every time a girl tests your mettle is not the way of the rock solid alpha. Amused mastery and grace under pressure, in most circumstances, is the superior attitude. But an infrequent blast of animated masculine zeal, sometimes in the form of a slap to the face, will reaffirm your love for her in her eyes, and convince her of your worthiness. Not to mention set her pussy aflame. This is a reaction she will not be able to control, no matter how many feminist manifestos she reads.
I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong in hitting a woman, though I don’t recommend you do it the same way that you hit a man.
- Sean Connery
Also, I'm a hater but I'm right in Tucker's demographic and I tried really hard to be objective, but I thought the trailer was horrible. Just so terribly cheesy. ScriptReader was right when she said the movie is a long attempt at getting people to like Tucker. No way in hell that trailer could get me to pay ten bucks plus gas.
P.S. I had to look up who Scott Peterson was before I remembered. It's a pretty obscure reference at this point.
6:22 and 6:24 is me. Not the loony bin.
"You're telling me Magic Johnson is black and has AIDS and has it better than me?"
That joke is just so old and busted it doesn't even register as offensive. He ought to put some jokes about AOL and TV dinners in his film to bring it up to date.
Tucker's delusional... he said something about how the comments on Digg are like 90/10 (good/bad)... is he reading the same comments I am?
Let's recap for a moment. This trailer:
* Advocates Killing fat women
* Makes fun of both Hep-C and that hil-air-e-us AIDS virus
* Give props to a man who killed his pregnant wife on Christmas Eve
* Thinks black people are inferior
* And features a guy with down syndrome (or crackhead Bob from the Stern show)
^^^^
Theory 1:
Tucker only read the first half of the comments:
Tucker's story's are funny ... but largely bullshit and this movie looks like it suck's ass
Theory 2:
Tucker has a hard time with numbers.
Man, shut the fuck up you troll.
"Tucker's delusional... he said something about how the comments on Digg are like 90/10 (good/bad)... is he reading the same comments I am?"
I thought it was 10/90, even Youtube which is full of retards who think Tucker is cool is overwhelmingly negative.
Ok, just for kicks I counted up the sentiment on the digg comments (first 51 because I'm not going to login for that shit).
I ignored comments that didn't give an opinion on the movie/trailer.
Good: 2
Garbage: 13
neutral/backhanded compliment: 6.
I guess tucker is revolutionizing counting.
It looks like negative comments are being edited off the Youtube trailer. I noticed earlier there was 3 pages of comments, several negative reviews are now missing.
I think the poster is blocking people who have negatively reviewed other TM youtube posts.
What a bunch of little bitches.
Everybody: this is a fucking anonymous forum. If people want to talk about proper technique for beating a woman, learn to fucking deal with it.
But 7:53... it isn't people. Tucker sent bunny and slf to finish their fight here & disrupt haterz reviews about the trailer. Let us review...
Leaked footage: major trolls pulling us off topic
Silence for days.
Trailer: major trolls pulling us off topic
I love beating women, almost as much as I love masturbating myself to sleep whilst using my tears as lubrication. I hate Tucker Max with a passion
"Ok, just for kicks I counted up the sentiment on the digg comments (first 51 because I'm not going to login for that shit).
I ignored comments that didn't give an opinion on the movie/trailer.
Good: 2
Garbage: 13
neutral/backhanded compliment: 6.
I guess tucker is revolutionizing counting."
Come on, fellas... don't you see what's happening here? It's not that people think the trailer is bad; it's that this film is SO revolutionary, people don't even KNOW they like it yet.
Oh dumbass haterz. That new site is revolutionary. Admit it. Look at the lead cast in polaroid frame. No movie about a bachelor party thought of using stills from the plot to promote their film or get attention. That is new shit.
Oh.
Wait.
Nevermind. That was just the funniest part of The Hangover.
"Everybody: this is a fucking anonymous forum. If people want to talk about proper technique for beating a woman, learn to fucking deal with it."
Shut the fuck up.
^ Go fuck your mother, shithead.
^^^ Go shit your head, motherfucker.
^ ^
Eat shit and die asshole
I hope you get hit by a bus, a bus full of AIDS
FUCK YOU
Stop being morons. People will write whatever they want. If you don't like that, join the TMMB, see if that works out better for you dipshits.
I'm going to leave a few words about Tucker's movie trailer before I go about picking it apart in an in-depth analysis.
When does the hilarity ensue?
More tomorrow
^ ^ ^
You aren't as hilarious as you think. The Anti-Tucker roadies build you up just like Tucker's fan boys build him up.
Neither of you are witty or funny
Whenever Tucker uses movie-biz lingo like "age-gate" and a&r I feel like he's doing one of those school projects where you have to write a story using all of your vocabulary words.
Our FILM has a large A&R budget, but we have to AGE GATE our TRAILER. I guess that's the PRICE of PRODUCING art.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXTmNApNrxM
"You aren't as hilarious as you think. The Anti-Tucker roadies build you up just like Tucker's fan boys build him up.
Neither of you are witty or funny"
I'm sorry you don't like my work. I will try harder.
However, I never claimed that I'm hilarious, witty, funny or anything for that matter. I merely claim that Tucker Max is a douchebag and point out exactly why I have come to that conclusion. Whether or not you found anything is funny is irrelevant. I will stay on point.
Again, I will try harder.
-TDG
By the way, spdaile, thank you for adding the CONFEDERACY OF FAILURE to the IMDB board lexicon. I'm flattered.
"However, I never claimed that I'm hilarious, witty, funny or anything for that matter. I merely claim that Tucker Max is a douchebag and point out exactly why I have come to that conclusion. Whether or not you found anything is funny is irrelevant. I will stay on point."
Don't listen to those jackasses anyhow, dude. Most of us appreciate your insight. Keep it up and don't change a thing.
That black chick @ the beginning of the trailer is totally crosseyed. I know this because my browser got stuck there while trying to play the trailer. It's unfortunate and she looks "special" if you catch my drift. Seriously, if I was smart enough to post photos, I'd share a screencap. Bless her little heart.
Many of the recent comments are from Tucker's gang. They're attempting to derail any discussion of why the trailer sucks. It's really pretty futile, as the commentary outside of this blog absolutely condemns it as a piece of shit.
Not being someone who'd ever watch Gilmore Girls, I was shocked at how poorly Matt Czwhatever portrayed Tucker Max. I figured that any actor portraying Tucker would at least attempt to be masculine. Matt Czwhatever looks like an underage chior boy seeking a date with a priest.
On TV right now, Doug Benson, Comedy Central, doin a bit on the McGriddle...
Who came first? Slingblade or Doug???
Just saw the trailer. Well, it was edited ok enough but I didn't laugh at all. I almost laughed at the fat girl joke but the delivery of "fat girls aren't people" is stupid.
I'm not motivated to see it based on the trailer. I'll probably watch it for free once it hits megavideo, et al.
BrianH, you, of all people, have the nerve to call out the haterz. How quickly we forget our past dear.
Don't flatter yourself; if the movie does well, I think we will all be surprised but that has little to do with Tucker sucking ass.
PS, algebra, help me out. If we think Tucker is a douchebag, and Tucker pretty much established that you were the biggest douchebag on earth, but accepted you back into the fold for the movie, what is the yield of your combined douchebaggedness?
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
BrianH
Stupendous Man, Bitches
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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I think not putting funnier jokes in your first released footage is screwing you temporarily. Yeah it's great to not have a bunch of pissed off people leaving the theater figuring they could have just watched the trailer and saved their money, but The Hangover's trailer gave away fucking everything, and look what happened to it. Seriously I just rewatched it and every goddamn joke is in there, the tazing, the Asian guy, every single joke that was above a 5 on the funny scale except for like one. But nobody cared; everyone says The Hangover was the best movie ever and they'd suck Todd what's his name's dick. The fact that the trailer gave way the good parts is what got the butts in seats. If they had filled their trailer with a bunch of lame lines (I'm not saying these are lame they're decently funny, my point is lines that are lower on the movie's funny spectrum), nobody would have gone and seen it. Based on you talking, I understand that this is a small taste of a very large meal. But most people aren't gonna be listening directly to you.
Set expectations low and deliver high.
The trailer is good, but a lot of the jokes fall flat to me because they are out of context. The Captain Kirk joke, in the scene, made me cry from laughing the first time I heard it performed by Jesse. Here, it doesn't do anything for me (mostly because it isn't the whole joke). The haters have plenty of ammunition to go on ranting and making a big scene, which will only flare up tremendously if the movie performs well at all.
Posted by Tucker on his board talking about the haterz
The funniest thing is that this is playing out almost exactly like the book transition from the website, except about 100x larger and faster. But all the details are the same.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Actually, Tucker, that's not true at all. I was around (your inner circle) for the website/book transition and it was NOTHING like this backlash. You had a lot of support, especially from your messageboard. There were some haterz but they were few and far between. I know it felt a lot worse because it stings to hear those things about your book BUT you need to get real with reality and see that this outcry from the haterz (even Gawker for God's sake) is excessive, even for you. Just because you beat the odds once doesn't mean you'll beat them again. GodSpeed son, you'll need it.
Wow, looks like more posts from trolls than haterz. Am I too assume that the majority of haterz have swarmed back to the flock?
I'm a hater and I was never in the flock.
I miss TDG.
My attempt at deconstructing:
"Thank you. Said brilliantly. So fucking funny that you picked out Lebowski--Nils and I used that EXACT trailer to guide us on this trailer."
They must have watched it a hundred times whilst others were doing the actual work.
"What makes me laugh about all the people who are freaking out on this thread, it's just...I've already done this once people."
Yeah, he has already made a fool of himself, people.
"I've already come out of nowhere and doing things no one said was possible or reasonable,"
Like driving into that donut shop?
"I created a huge brand and wrote a generation defining book out of it. And with this movie..."
You'll destroy that miniscule brand.
"You know what? There's nothing left for me to say now that the trailer is out."
Because even Tucker knows that it's shit.
"I have laid out my plans already on the movie blog. I spent 18 months explaining what we were going to do and why. I filled in almost every gap."
And yet the trailer was still a month late. Don't worry though, I'm sure it was part of your master plan. I believe in you.
"If you have read what I've written and you have half a brain, you can probably figure out what the overarching plan is,"
Equals: "I'm going to Tucker Max Fail!"
"why we are doing what we're doing,"
Equals: "We're morons"
"what our limitations are,"
Equals: Reality.
"and how this green band trailer fits into the overall plan."
Destroying any remaining credibility?
"You might even have enough artistic sensibility to get what Mick got from the trailer."
hahahahahaha
"It's going to be fun for those of you who 'get it' to watch it all unfold, so enjoy the next 52 days."
There'll be a lot of poop. Not everyone gets poop. You get poop.
"And if you don't get it...that's OK too. You'll understand eventually. And you can even tell your friends you knew all along."
I'll be sure to tell my friends that I knew all along that his movie was gonna be shit, even BEFORE its legendary failure.
"I think we can close the thread on that note, everything that could possibly be said has been said."
Equals: "Holy shit! Even the dumbasses that suck my cock don't like this!"
More stuff from TDG and fake story guy (the one where otto meets troy duffy) please.
You two have more comedic talent in your little fingers than tugger does in his whole flabby, douche filled, cyst strewn body
I just played the trailer for my girlfriend, who knows nothing of tucker max. The first words out of her mouth were, "What is this supposed to be? a poor man's Hangover!?"
HAHAHAHA
im pretty sure the lying douche will try to bullshit about about how much his awful B-movie takes at the BO.
if the book sale lies are anything to go by, expect it to be multiplied by approx 3
I figured that any actor portraying Tucker would at least attempt to be masculine. Matt Czwhatever looks like an underage chior boy seeking a date with a priest.
Fuck!!!
"if the book sale lies are anything to go by, expect it to be multiplied by approx 3"
Fortunately, it is an objective third party that calculates the box office results. Unfortunately, DVD sales are going to be a different story...
The whole "best jokes aren't in the trailer" is just spin, as always. Covering their ass because the response to the trailer wasn't good.
"Fortunately, it is an objective third party that calculates the box office results. Unfortunately, DVD sales are going to be a different story..."
http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/weekly/thisweek.php
DVD sales are tracked pretty accurately. He won't be able to really cover that up as well as Booksales which are hard to confirm.
I officially retire
Nooooooo.......
•Devin Faraci at CHUD.com would be fine with a Tucker Max movie if it were actually good:
Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with being a privileged white douchebag misogynist, as long as you’re entertaining about it. And there’s not looking like much entertainment in this trailer, which looks like a National Lampoon Direct to Cable knockoff of an American Pie Direct to Video movie.
•Katey Rich at Cinema Blend makes the Hangover comparison:
Of course, it’s ultimately a story of redemption, but in the meantime you get to enjoy watching Tucker insult strippers and fat people, land his buddies in jail, and generally ick people out. It’s one thing to see a trailer this gross, but it’s another to think of it in context of The Hangover, a movie that wasn’t remotely mature or subtle, but at least wasn’t outright hateful.
•Gabe at Videogum also references The Hangover while declaring IHTSBIH a strong candidate for the worst movie ever made:
What is this? This is a movie? This is not a movie. It’s like they swept up The Hangover’s cutting room floor, Tucker Max jerked off onto it, and then dropped it into a vat of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? “Dip.” (No offense to The Hangover.) My apologies to Driven and Pay It Forward and Bicentennial Man. You are all wonderful masterpieces in this new world order. (Elizabethtown is still a piece of shit.)
•Daniel Carlson at Pajiba recognizes that this is even lower than the low of Hollywood:
[Tucker Max]’s the worst kind of person there is. So of course, he got a movie deal…starring Matt Czurzchruzhchy and Jesse Bradford and what looks like $27 for set design, editing, and what have you. Watching the trailer makes you realize that there are some depths to which not even Dane Cook would sink; it is that bad, that shameful, that bracing, that depressing.
•Not even Alex Billington at FirstShowing is excited about this movie:
it’s worst than I could’ve ever imagined…I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell looks about as amateur as anything I’ve ever seen. No wonder the studios all stayed away from this - it shouldn’t have ever been made.
•Commenting on Defamer, “Rufus T. Firecrotch” assures you that this movie does not speak for all our gender, and he’s willing to do something drastic to prove this:
On behalf of men everywhere I will now shave my balls with a rusty Bic and squat in a bowl of kerosene as an offering of apology for this abomination…It would be infinitely more entertaining than anything Tucker Max has ever created, I assure you.
•And just to show how even the marketing of the film is so far a failure, here’s something from Max’s blog from back in May:
-When is the trailer coming out?
Start to ask about it again on July 4th–if it’s not out by then, we missed our internal deadline to have it done. Hopefully this will be the first deadline we hit on time.
___________
Reviews of the Trailer...looks overwhelmingly bad.
People are putting it in contention for worst movie of all time already.
TDG, why?
I'm not sure if that's really TDG.
This blog has been trolled by fanbois the past few days. TDG, fake story guy and others have clearly gotten under Tucker's skin. Poor Tucker; while he insults others, it's a cover for being a wee sensitive lad.
I don't want TDG to go either. But maybe his work here is done.
The board has been messed up for about a week now. Too many side stories.
The name of the Board is "Tucker Max Is A Douchebag" that is why this place exists. To highlight that.
The theater booked for Boston is the Loews Harvard Square theater in Cambridge. This is the same theater (pretty much the only one) that showed indy movies like The Wrestler. At least that's where I had to go in order to view it.
The theaters themselves are rather small. I'd be surprised if he can fit more than 200 people in there, 250 tops. It's just not that big.
I am now going to be curious to see how the reactions are to this movie and also to the theater ticket and DVD sales, both of which are a lot easier to track. No more making up numbers or talking about # of DVD's that were printed; now we'll actually know what the sales were.
No, guys, this movie actually is going to be good. You're all caught up in hating Tucker so much you're missing the fact that it's an enjoyable story and fun to watch. But it is good to see the focus on hate coming apart at the seams. The fact is a nice little project like this doesn't come along all the time and everyone involved is going to end up feeling good about it.
Yeah, the idiot fanboys are here in force.
Does anyone want to help me write a movie?
"everyone involved is going to end up feeling good about it."
Apart from the investors,
And Darko, who will go under in
12-18 months at this rate.
And the actors, whose hollywood cache will be damaged by being associated with this turkey.
Only the delusional-fatty-douchebag-tiny handed-lisping-salad tosser himself will be able to eke out any positives here. (most likely of the HIV kind)
Walter Mitty you have a successor!
How can Tucker even put a positive spin on the trailer? If the internets agree on anything, it's that this trailer is an epic failure.
I'm not an idiot fanboy. I really like the movie. I look forward to seeing it.
"I'm not an idiot fanboy."
The standard disclaimer for all idiot fanboys
@8:01, I'm glad to see there's someone else here with a bit of sense. I like the movie too.
Well I just saw the movie (Tucker was kind enough to arrange a special advance screening) and I may have to revise my opinion of Tucker. I don't know how it happened but this seems to have worked out ok. This may actually help restore his reputation.
You can't deconstruct something that's solidly constructed. That's why I'm retiring.
TDG
"@8:01, I'm glad to see there's someone else here with a bit of sense. I like the movie too."
You are almost universally alone. See the post a few lines up from reviews. Almost every review of the trailer has been really, really bad.
Only unlike Transformers II, if this gets rated 22% by the critics, it won't make any money.
Several reviews have already put this in the running for worst movie of all time.
TDG, what?!
XOXO
- The Original Cute Feminist
Omigod. Omigod. I just saw the movie. Tucker flew out personally to show me the movie. First of all, he's so cool. Second, the movie is REALLY GOOD. TDG, I understand now. Everybody else, this is a really good movie! You'll enjoy it.
XOXO
- The Original Cute Feminist
Don't listen to these fakers, i haven't seen the movie yet and i'm pretty sure it will be as shitty as everything else tucker has produced so far.
TDG
Tucker Max is a liar and a douchebag
This story is totally true and verifiable, good catch Beefwell
I think it's really, really sad that some lamer is faking posts to try to talk up the movie.
I mean, it's not like the movie NEEDS fake posts to make it look good. It's plenty good on its own! I haven't seen it yet but I'm going to enjoy it a lot when I do!
So please, could we stop with the trolling? It's just sad and lame and really not cool at all, so don't do it. Let's get back to talking about the movie and what all our favorite bits are. I'm sure everyone has plenty! Ok, GO!
"Anything The Hangover can do at the box office we can beat. Easily." Tucker Max, June 2009
THE HANGOVER box office as of 07/16/09 ---
Domestic: $226,309,780
+ Foreign: $74,700,000
$302M total
The best part of this movie is when it will tucker max fail in sept
Raptor Jesus says: "Don't Do Like Tucker Max"
RAPTOR JESUS DIED FOR TUCKER'S SINS
Read script today for the first time. I've been a hater here for ages but I must say the script is WAY better than I ever thought. And that's considering I never thought it could be as bad as I would have imagined.
Even done wrong this movie is going to be better than I expected. I'm not so sure of total failure now myself.
I credit Nils with the parts of the script that were actually good however. The parts that seek of Tucker are lame as can be expected.
DON'T TAZE ME BRO!
That Tucker's posse of internet retards has shown up is oddly satisfying.
Dude, what happened to us giving you fantastic, free publicity?
Seriously. TDG and Cute Feminist would never post such stupid things. How pathetic is it that Tucker feels the need to control the spin on the anonymous comments section of a blog devoted to hating him?
Why is he so focussed on negative attention, when he constantly says things like "I'll just have to let the trailer/movie speak for itself".
Cos he never does...he just says the people who find it shit "don't get it".
If you're gonna let it speak for itself, then shut your mouth.
"How pathetic is it that Tucker feels the need to control the spin on the anonymous comments section of a blog devoted to hating him?"
On a scale of 1 to 10, ill go with a 9.9, mr anonymous.
"Why is he so focussed on negative attention, when he constantly says things like "I'll just have to let the trailer/movie speak for itself".
Cos he never does...he just says the people who find it shit "don't get it".
If you're gonna let it speak for itself, then shut your mouth."
In the words of tugger, EXACTLY. The lying douche is also a massive fucking hypocrite dont ya know.
People, seriously, I'm not Tucker and I'm not a fanboi. I'm just really excited about the movie and happy to be welcomed here in this community of fellow fans of Tucker's work.
raptor jesus approves of this message
11:58
"People, seriously, I'm either Tucker or a fanboi. I'm just really excited to shit on a fratboys dick"
^^^^^^
THERIOUTHLY!
He's not even the coolestht one of his thriendths!!!
I know! That was so funny! I'm glad you liked that bit too. Tucker really is a good writer once you realize you have to take him seriously. What's your favorite line by a female in Tucker's writing? I can't help but be really impressed by the bit with the turtle girl - I keep remembering it and chuckling to myself!
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