The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 7601 – 7800 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Don't be so easily fooled. He's been forced to take that tone because he realises his puffery has fallen flat. It speaks more of the extent to which things haven't worked for him, had things gone his way he'd be a raging douchebag about it all as always. The man is a study on what happens when you tempt fate once too often.
-----------------------------------
Well, regardless of the reasons for it--and I imagine you're right, if TM had been successful with his film, the streets would be running red with megalomania--the exchanges were still interesting, and partly because of Tucker's reasonable tone.
If he had been maintaining that tone the whole time, this blog would most likely not exist, except in a dessicated form.
However, because we've all seen the lizard underneath the mask so often, he could be reasonable until the cows come home, but chances are everyone will say, "too little, too late".
Plenty of Tucker's cronies have already been outed here. Slingblade, Jojo, and now Hate.
^^^ PWJ, too.
Hey @11:21 AM, could I get a recap on those? It's interesting to put faces to names.
Deconstructing a Tucker Apologist: (or why deprogram when you can cut a cult member in half?)
In this episode, we find some douchebag on the IMDB boards defending Tucker using arguments that have already been dispelled by pmc, Mojo, GenericUser and others. Yet like any cult member, reality clearly isn’t enough which is why I’m taking the white gloves off.
“This is my first time to these boards, and I was surprised to see all of the vitriol.”
I’m assuming it’s because you have yet to venture outside of the TMMB since 2005, but yes, it’s true, people think Tucker Max is a douchebag outside his board.
“Personally, I find Tucker Max to be entertaining, though not enlightening, and have heard things on both side of the issue of his character/truth/whatever.”
But of course you’ll ignore the other side because Tucker fucked a dwarf in a car parked in a broken camera shop or whatever…
“I like to think I've formed something of an opinion: the guy is human. “
I’m really convinced that Tucker’s fans are all retarded. OF COURSE HE’S HUMAN. Douchebag is not a species.
“He is a narcissist - which is ironic,”
Because you’re a Tucker fan who never heard of the word “narcissist” or even “irony” before Tucker started using the words.
“because that seems to be true of all of his e-detractors,”
Fuck yeah dude!!! I’m going to have a movie based upon all my deconstructions of all things Tucker Max. It will be revolutionary, but not as revolutionary as me being the first person ever to deconstruct another person’s work. Under the dictionary definition for “deconstruction” is a picture of me, The Deconstruction Guy.
By the way, FUCK YOU BANNED for taking a tone with me.
“as well - makes some poor decisions, treats people badly.”
You know, as a mod on RMMB, you will be banned for saying the sentence you just made.
“But honestly, I tolerate negative traits in my friends, I expect them to do that same of me,”
And I bet they trade positive rep while ignoring the fact that they’re all douchebags.
Part II:
“and I'm not going to hold someone I've never met to a higher standard just because he is enjoying the life he has made for himself. “
Of course you’re going to hold us to a lower standard even though we haven’t met.
“Anyway, I was responding to this post, and made some points that I think work to address a lot of the things I've seen while reading on here for the past half hour: “
That’s awesome dude, because your whole argument is so lame that I won’t even spend time deconstructing it.
“I've read these boards, and there are some valid points, but they are lost in a sea of guesswork, Gawker fact-checking, naive viewpoints, and unreasonable hatred for someone that actually enjoys his life.”
Really dickhead? How about CALLING THE ACTUAL SOURCE OF SOME OF HIS STORIES AND FINDING OUT HIS MOVIE DEAL, WHICH HE CLAIMED IS REVOLUTIONARY, IS CONSIDERED “STANDARD” BY THE RELEASING COMPANY.
Also, come on, you think Tucker Max enjoys his life? He has to hate it. He’s usually just one step away from being exposed as a fraud and a liar. His true stories aren’t all that true, he’s got to make up stuff to make himself feel better and he’s lost a lot of friends in the process of him becoming “famous”. Alcoholics with anger issues don’t really seem like happy people, do they?
“(Nobody - least of all him - claims that he is rich, or 'successful' in those terms, but he has succeeded on his own terms.”
Tucker strikes me as being a cheapskate. Everything about him cries it. It’s why his revolutionary company has no office, phone or paid employees. He owns a shitty car and doesn’t own property. In fact, he’s living life exactly how somebody in college would live life.
That’s success to you?
“Everyone saying he is a loser for not being a lawyer and making more money, you're what's wrong with this country. Tucker has mentioned numerous times that he is/has been in debt.) “
No, we’re saying he’s a loser because that’s exactly what he is, a fucking loser. The fact that he skated through law school is only part of the equation.
“Nothing in the stories is particularly unbelievable,”
You mean except for the parts of the book that have been clearly exposed as lies? I think the only part of the book I can truly believe is “I’m Tucker Max, and I’m an asshole”.
“which is why I was surprised to see so many people (or just the same people being so passionate) fervently against the book.”
Like I said, getting out of the RMMB and seeing the rest of the world must be a fucking shock to dickheads like this guy.
“Here are a couple of points that come to mind, in no particular order: “
Oh goodie!! More shit to play with.
Part III:
“1) James Frey comparison is bunk. (from the poster here, Mojoxn : "You think James Frey got it bad? If, by some miracle of fate the vast population of idiots in this country love your film and it becomes a household name, you are completely and totally screwed.") First of all, there was PROOF there.”
It’s true, it is “bunk”. James Frey sold a couple million books, Tucker still hasn’t sold 1/2 a million. People knew James Frey, whereas Tucker is a very small niche market being catered to in PAPERBACK.
“Second of all, people on here have been saying that he will fall the same way James Frey did once he got bigger. Right, guess who sold MORE books after it was discovered that he was lying? James Frey, because of the hype and controversy surrounding it, and the fact that he is a great writer, and created a product that people enjoyed. If any of this is sounding familiar... “
Did you get this info from the mod board on RMMB?
Bullshit, his books plummeted in sales the moment Oprah called him out on in PUBLICLY.
“2)How is anything so crazy about these stories?”
They’re not that crazy, but they are fabricated and embellished.
“I'm not going to claim that they are one hundred percent accurate, “
That’s great, however, Tucker does claim that they are 100% true and accurate.
“and there may be some intentional lies thrown in. The buttsex story was one of his earliest, before there was any kind of fan base for his material, and he could have fabricated the ending for his friends or for the sake of the story.”
Again, that would be fine if Tucker said “I was wasted, so some of the story might be a bit foggy so I might have invented some shit to connect point A to point B, but for the most part, this is what happened.” But he didn’t do that. He claimed 100% TRUE STORIES. If he threw some intentional lies, then his claim is false. What’s funnier is how Tucker would attack anybody who claimed his stories might be a bit embellished.
“He was finding a literary voice that, at the time, may have been more fictional than not.”
What “literary voice”? He writes like a 10th grader in a special needs class who is excited that he finally finger fucked Molly Rottencrotch, but is going to tell everybody he got laid anyway.
By the way, if he had tried to market this book as FICTION, we’d never have heard of his name, but at least he’d be honest.
“Or maybe it's all true- I won't discount that.”
I hate it when people pose a question to themselves and then answer it. You sound like Donald Rumsfeld.
Part IV:
“The donuts one is a big one people mention, also. Maybe the amount of damage was exaggerated. It certainly wasn't an actual donut shop. And he moved the car away, so the owner had no reason, as far as we know, to suspect that a car was driven in to it. There is no reason to believe there was damage to the car.”
Maybe he just jumped the curb and left it sitting on the curb next to a donut shop. That’s probably what happened. Everything else he talks about in regards to the story has been proven to be total bullshit.
“But generally, the things in his stories are things that happen to young adults who don't get married or become lame after college. People in their mid-twenties have disposable income, the have libidos, they have insecurities and personality flaws - which Tucker has never claimed to be immune to - and as such, interesting *beep* just happens. Yeah, it's true. So, less time hating, and more time having some experiences maybe? “
Or maybe he’s just a liar, and you’ve bought into the con and are trying desperately to reclaim the dignity you’ve lost by following a con man?
“3) Something I saw mentioned on here that I just wanted to address: people saying his distribution deal is no good.”
Seriously, it’s not even a distribution deal. His deal is the equal of a fat kid in school paying people to hang out with him because there’s no other way they would otherwise.
“On the "Biz Insider Destroys Max on His Own Board" thread, the post the person linked said: "Honestly man. The idea you're breaking some kind of ground with this distribution strategy is laughable. To use an example from just this week alone -- THE COLLECTOR. Opens on 1500 screens this Friday. Distributed by Freestyle". On the "Tucker Fights Back" thread, posted by tempestnam: "How is that Tuck. Freestyle, whom you are paying to distribute your film, only has access to 450 (Non-Chain) movie theaters."”
The Collector also got a wide release through a certain MAJOR distributor when they realzed that there was a potential profit to be made. Freestyle isn’t the only releasing company of the Collector.
“Something is up there. Both people were arguing against Tucker, so there isn't really a bias involved...and that first guy was cited by someone trying to shoot Tucker down as a "biz insider." So I think it's safe to say that Freestyle can distribute to more than those 450 theaters. Secondly, there are MULTIPLE distributors. At the same time, I don't expect the opening to be huge. “
No, there isn’t ANY distributor attached to IHTSBIH. Freestyle is a RELEASING COMPANY, not a distributor. A distributor would pay the P&A on the film and no matter what you do, the film would make a profit because THE MONEY WOULD HAVE BEEN PAID UP FRONT. IHTSBIH could not find a distributor as EVERYBODY PASSED ON THE PROJECT, so they had to pay somebody to release the movie.
“And that's how you make points that actually have something to back them up.”
Thank you random guy.
“As far as the success of the film, no one can really predict that. First of all, everyone should go back to his message board and see the discussion that just finished.”
You mean where the person with knowledge of the industry eviscerated Tucker’s entire house of cards argument on how the film would make millions and/or be revolutionary in less than 3 posts?
“It was enlightening, if you're interested in the film business. “
Dude, seriously, if you’re learning anything from Tucker’s board, it should be that Tucker is delusional about the success of his movie.
Part VI:
“but much sleazier people have succeeded in Hollywood without being upfront about their sleaziness.”
But have much douchier people succeeded in Hollywood without being upfront about their douchiness?
“I believe most of his stories to be true, because despite the large number of people who wish them to be false,”
We don’t wish anything. They are false, they are false.
“there is no evidence, no witness, that anything is fabricated.”
Um, midget story. At least three witnesses say it never happened, including the girl whose apartment the story alledgedly happened in.
There’s certainly no evidence that the donut shop story is true. I check the Lexis-Nexis database, and nothing came up. Also, HE COULDN’T HAVE DRIVEN INTO A WINDOW WITHOUT CRASHING INTO A SECURITY GATE FIRST. IT IS LAW IN CHICAGO FOR SMALL BUSINESSES TO HAVE A SECURITY GATE AND AN ALARM SYSTEM TO GET INSURANCE.
Checkmate motherfucker.
“However, there are witnesses to the contrary - I can suspend judgment,”
Dude, I realize you’re an RMMB member which means you’re borderline retarded, but PAY FUCKING ATTENTION!!!
“and if there were proof (not an "anonymous" email that someone at Gawker wrote to himself, later to be discredited by the person they were implying was the author of said email), I would accept it.”
No you wouldn’t. You’d find some hole in the true story that would negate the entire message, like perhaps the person who wrote it was fat or ugly, then you’d say “they made it up because they are fat and ugly and Tucker is not”.
I know the M.O. of the RMMB. You guys are the literary equal to professional wrestling fans.
“So far it seems like logistical issues that one wouldn't even question unless they wanted to disbelieve in the first place. “
Dude, not only are you a retard, but you’re completely illogical.
“Even if the stories aren't true, they are still entertainment. “
If the stories weren’t true, then your hero is LYING TO YOUR FACE. Then they cease to be entertaining to me because I don’t like to be lied to. It is your own character flaw that allows you to be entertained by somebody who is lying to you.
Plus, if he’s lying about his stories, what else could he be lying about? Perhaps the quality of his script? The quality of his movie? Perhaps everything he’s said about his movie?
Then it doesn’t become “entertaining”, it becomes a D-Level con game by a F List celebrity who is taking advantage of his fan base by lying to them because he knows no matter what, they won’t mind being lied to, because as long as he says it happened, it won’t matter despite mountains of evidence to the prior.
“I would think less of Tucker Max, but not of his art. “
Somewhere in the middle of Asia, a baby just died of AIDS.
-TDG
^^^^^^Nice work TDG
"“Even if the stories aren't true, they are still entertainment. “
If the stories weren’t true, then your hero is LYING TO YOUR FACE. Then they cease to be entertaining to me because I don’t like to be lied to. It is your own character flaw that allows you to be entertained by somebody who is lying to you.
Plus, if he’s lying about his stories, what else could he be lying about? Perhaps the quality of his script? The quality of his movie? Perhaps everything he’s said about his movie?
Then it doesn’t become “entertaining”, it becomes a D-Level con game by a F List celebrity who is taking advantage of his fan base by lying to them because he knows no matter what, they won’t mind being lied to, because as long as he says it happened, it won’t matter despite mountains of evidence to the prior."
Thank you TDG, this sums up exactly what I've been thinking for over a year. He clearly is a liar, but people who like him think it's okay, because he's a "straight shooting liar" or whatever that means. But seriously, there doesn't seem to be a day when Tucker doesn't overinflate something or just flat out lie about it.
Like for example, take the Oscar Award Winning Director. I was really impressed by that, but a month later when I think somebody on this board told us that it was some guy who directed a doc about the Holocaust I began to suspect a lot of what he was saying is embellished in his favor or totally fabricated.
Thanks to guys like TDG and others who basically put Tucker's career in perspective, a perspective that shows him for exactly who he is, a bullshit artist and a con man.
"Bullshit, his books plummeted in sales the moment Oprah called him out on in PUBLICLY."
I couldn't believe he said that. It's common knowledge that he was hated once he got exposed.
Or you haven't seen the sequel to "A million little pieces" man! It killed! Oh wait...James Frey now writes article slots for Gawker! Of all places.
A million little pieces (2003), and My friend Leonard (2005) were both his most successful books. Before he was exposed in 2006.
Oprahs exposing him was so ruthless (and filled with accountability) and many writers appluaded it. They openly wrote about Mr. Frey being publicly snapped in half.
It was so damning that Frey was dropped within the month (January 2006) by his Literary manager, in February Riverhead (who published My friend Leonard) dropped out of a 2-book SEVEN figure deal (7 as in 1,000,000+) with him.
Random House (who published A million little pieces) had to reach a legal settlement with "readers who felt that they had been defrauded by Frey's A Million Little Pieces would be offered a refund"
Random House spent 1.3 million dollars in legal fees to make that arrangement possible. (Though few ever claimed their refunds)
Let's compare "Bright Shiny Morning" (2007) to the other 2 Books. While a best seller, not nearly of the same magnitude. And was reviewed poorer than the other books as well.
He has a new book deal, but nothing like the 7 figure he had before.
"Fuck yeah dude!!! I’m going to have a movie based upon all my deconstructions of all things Tucker Max. It will be revolutionary, but not as revolutionary as me being the first person ever to deconstruct another person’s work. Under the dictionary definition for “deconstruction” is a picture of me, The Deconstruction Guy."
AHUAUAHABAUAAUHAAHAHAHAHA.
TDG, I would actually pay to see your movie. As opposed to just shiting on Tuckers.
"Seriously, it’s not even a distribution deal. His deal is the equal of a fat kid in school paying people to hang out with him because there’s no other way they would otherwise."
TDG, you are mean, but we love you anyway.
:-P
poetic justice--tucker has to go on a tour with a trailerless turd with no distrbution but only douchestribution
what do you think will be in the schwag bags?
1) bottles of douche
2) astro glide
3) pieces of the broken video tape from the secretive anal sex taping without the girl's consent
4) donuts from the donut shop (if nils didn't eat them)
5) "how to" manual on how to succeed by making fun of minorites, asians, and overweight girls, secretly taping anal without the girl's consent, destroying careers/reputations of beauty queens, and having sex with midgets for publicity instead of making a trailer for the film as the other 100% of indie filmmakers do.
6) a collection of greatest hits from teh rudius bloggers--haha ha ha--you know--the posts which revolutionized media.
7) hitherto unreleased poopie stories
and now god gets the last laugh--he sentences tucker to load up the money-sucking bus with millions of scwag bags.
'tis poetic justice--tucker has to go on a tour with a trailerless turd.
hilarious how he tries to blame the lack of a trailer on the MPA.
ha ha ha ha ah aha aha ha ahaahhaha aha ahahah aha ha.
3:19 you forgot 30,000 rape whistles
TDG,
Dude, you need to go to Gawker with this shit. It's fucking funny as shit and shit.
Tucker just made the following comment on RMMB:
"I won't lie, so I'll just stop talking."
Oh, the irony.
I think it's fucking hysterical that in the last week this comment section has gotten over 1000 posts, whereas his movie section has had less than 200 posts total.
Has anybody noticed that Michael Ian Black has ANOTHER TV show on Comedy Central?
IMO, he's up 2-0 on Tucker Max even before a punch is thrown.
@3:19, why is there no mention of Mexicans, mane? Tucker's calling card is crude reliance on the most obvious Mexican stereotypes.
On an unrelated note, here is a recent status update of Tucker and Nils frantically working on the trailer compliance issue (based on my spy).
Tucker wakes up at 10:45 AM on Thursday after a late night of aimless porn watching, Nattie Light swilling and Grand Theft Auto playing, and frantically calls Nils.
Tucker: What's up, bro. Dude, I know we've been working on this movie, like, 24/7, and we're both exhausted, but we've got to fix this trailer so that it can gain approval by our deadline today.
Nils: Not now, I am in the middle of a hot dog eating contest. It's me versus my record of 17 set last week.
Tucker: Dude, that should totally be our next megahuge hit movie. It'll be about how Tucker got in a hot dog eating contest with this fat girl who is a mascot, and hilarity...
Nils: Sounds awesome, but I am working on my hotdog eating technique right now. It's fundamentally sound, just like my baseball swing. Did you know I hit .319 in my final year of little league?
Tucker: Bra, I hit .342.
Nils: Well, I wrote seven of the ten funniest jokes for our movie.
Tucker: Well, I was the one to come up with the parenthetical aside pointing out that Jeff was a thick-necked high school athlete, not to be messed with by some metrosexual poseur or slanty-eyed asian girl. Plus, I just remembered I hit .342 as an eight year old. And I videotaped every hit, which was awesome because they were all hard line drives. And Tucker fucked 14 girls that season too. My mom lost the...
Nils: Maw maw maw (sound of hotdogs being absorbed into the blob)
Tucker: Dude, Tucker calling some Asian girl slanty-eyed. That is the most piercing Tucker Max witticism ever. I just need to create a story where it seems kind of realistic that Tucker might do this. Maybe a party...
Nils: Get Holiday on the trailer, dude.
Tucker: What? Hmmm, I forgot why I called you. Never mind, right now Tucker needs to focus on Ryan's tasks for tomorrow. Today I have him in Santa Monica with a beachcomber trying to scrounge up some change so we can pay Gaijin Smash his $72 royalty for last quarter.
Line goes dead. Tucker rambles for 15 minutes or so, obliviously daydreaming about how every word is being uncritically absorbed by a throng of millions of adoring proteges. His third movie will be about God secretly eavesdropping on Tucker's thoughts, and using them to change the world.
Three hours later, a sweaty and defeated Holiday returns to find Tucker in a daydreaming coma. And the story goes on...I just don't feel like reporting it anymore.
~ FDG
LET ME PREACH HIS NAME!
8:05, you are a fool stuck in your ancient time. For starters, most independent artists are actually quite happy with sharing their craft amongst peers, being able to be heard by masses through p2p and social sites. Nowadays they have MORE of a chance to get signed considering these big labels only see numbers, and obviously the demand would grow and the label would be there for the supply.
Do you know how many artists there are? Difference today is that we actually can listen to the ones who aren't signed on Columbia. And don't give me that "well if they aren't signed then chances are they aren't good!" bullshit. For every Bob Dylan there's 10 Soulja Boys, for every decent metal band there's a pact of hundred From First to Last style bands.
People do enjoy the lyrical content, hence why they're listening to it and more than likely using a Google search engine to read them. Album art? Yeah, we appreciate it when there's a .jpg of it in the folder of the album on our desktops.
Besides, record labels make most of the money from sales, as to where artists/bands make their money from touring. And it'd be seriously retarded to not acknowledge bands/artists who've got their popularity solely from music sharing.
I myself am a huge record nerd. I'd never buy a compact disc, but vinyl? Pass me the kool aid. With that said, I have over 20,000 files downloaded from Soul Seek. If I bought every single one of those albums I'd be bankrupt, not to mention it'd be nearly fucking impossible to buy every single one in a lifetime.
Look, I hate Tucker Max just as much as the next guy, I am here reading posts nearly everyday awaiting his failure, but you are seriously naive when it comes to file sharing.
So uh ... enjoy buying your next Flo-Rida single faggot.
Slingblade is Aaron Kellerman
PWJ is Sean Trende
JoJo is Kamau Cour
I'm lonely haterz.
Do you think since Tucker is lonely too that he would be my friend?
I like to play Mariokart and eat pizza. Do you think Tucker would like to do those things with me?
Sometimes, I'm just so lonely I want to cry. It hurts from my heart to my shoulders.
I don't understand why I don't have friends and came get a job. I have lots of interviews but no one ever calls back.
I think tucker would be a good friend because he might understand.
Thank you for listening. Haterz are such good people. I wish I could hug you.
SEAN TRENDE:
http://www.hunton.com/bios/bio.aspx?id=16721&tab=0013
KAMAU COUR
http://www.uhlaw.com/kacoar/
FUCK WITH THEM. SEND EMAILS TO THEIR BOSSES. LET EVERYONE KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. FUCK TUCKER MAX AND MAKE HIS FRIENDS SUFFER.
Not to get us sidetracked, but before you fuck with them, remember that their role in these stories a) happened almost a decade ago, and b) was created by a pathological liar who probably made all the interesting stuff up.
As a fellow Duke grad (and it seems that there are many on this board, surprisingly, to know all this), I'd prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt that they have outgrown these shenanigans and/or never asked for the exposure from Tucker's imagination in the first place.
A couple of his friends were pretty douchey in law school, even up to par with Tucker (and I am no longer tempted to point out which ones), but some were good guys, regardless of an association with Tucker.
Just giving an honest and sensible perspective, no need to debate, or to cause too much collateral damage.
~ FDG
Instead of working out, I'm going to post a request for maturity. I want everyone to think about life after the TuckerMaxFail.
If the history of the internets has taught us anything, it is that large groups of people clumped behind screennames can be dangerously detached from awareness of consequences.
There's the "I told you I was hardcore" kid and the kid from the Misc boards. Others, too, melting down in front of an audience.
What if something here pushes Tucker toward suicide? I'm not saying it would be anyone's fault but all of us who posted cruelty would be a tiny bit responsible.
I don't want douche blood on my hands so this is my apology to Tucker.
I'm sorry said some meanassshit. I hope you find some peace and get some professional help.
Sorry that my conscience got me guys. I just need to move along to new entertainment. I don't want any part in hurting someone here or in real life.
Rock on and thanks for the laughs. Sorry for the taunts I tossed Tucker.
"There's the "I told you I was hardcore" kid and the kid from the Misc boards."
I have no idea who you're talking about.
If you'd brought up the Megan Meier suicide, however, I'd say: Yeah! That would be TOTALLY COOL!
Re: Kamau Cour, if he's Jojo, he's one of the few that can tell Otto he's full of crap on the RMMB and not get banned for it. And he does. Leave 'im alone.
If those two people listed are actually part of the stories that Tucker wrote about.... that should have zero bearing on whether or not it is right for you to "fuck with them and call their bosses."
Don't fucking do that. Yes, Tucker may be a douchebag but we would be sinking to his level of douche if we resorted to petty bullshit like that.
Tucker doesn't need anyone to fuck his shit up. He's proven time and again he'll do it himself. Come September 25 or October 16 or December 31 or whenever the movie is coming out, we'll be done with this. One way or another.
Personally, I'm invested in this emotionally only so far as when I see one of Tucker's fanboys randomly call a female fan of his a whore for no reason. Its that mentality that I fear and while it won't go away with Tucker Max, it'll certainly be dealt a blow if he just goes away forever. He might take his rage out on his co-worker at Ponderosa, but at least it will never be videotaped.
So in conclusion, don't bother going to ANY trouble fucking with Tucker. He'll do it himself and we'll all have a clean soul by simply watching the train wreck.
Indeed, fucker hax is just a farcical train wreck well in progress. No need to do anything just sit back, relax, and watch.
"For every Bob Dylan there's 10 Soulja"
I hope this is sarcasm. I really do.
If you go thru the list of time, and asked 100 years from now name me the artists that would be considered legends of music.
That list would be the largest in the 50s-60s, and then shrinking till you get what you have today.
In which I can name only possibly 5 bands from our generation who will be considered legends.
(To give you an idea...The Beattles over the last 10 years sold more Albums than anyone except 1 artist)
"but you are seriously naive when it comes to file sharing."
Yeah, because file sharing has really resulted in that pure creativity we love to see...
It's resulted in what you get when you don't want to pay for talent.
That is Less Talent.
"For every Bob Dylan there's 10 Soulja"
I'm still trying to get my head around this. 100 Soulja Boys wouldn't be equal to Bob Dylan. How many instruments does Soulja play BTW?
I think Dylan played several, wrote his own songs (instead of looping someone elses beat, and having someone write your lyrics)
Beyond money, there's a prestige factor that brings the cream to the top.
If I ask to hear the most talented violinist in the world, I'm going to see them in a name Orchastra (and they will also be highly paid).
Not someone who thinks playing the Violin on the weekends is cool and uploads their stuff before they run off to go shoping.
I like the digital age as much as anyone. But if the movie industry was getting picked clean by file sharing, you would never see movies like Lord of The Rings, Batman, and Pixar movie ever, write on down the line. No one would invest in the CGI.
Oh, is there some band of college kids that are banding together between Bong Hits that are better than ILM, WETA, and Pixar? Gee, I've never heard of them.
"Just giving an honest and sensible perspective, no need to debate, or to cause too much collateral damage."
I'd agree. Slingblade is my favorite character from his book. But he apparently has moved on, is married, has a real job, etc and is not involved in this in anyway.
Just leave them be, they have little to nothing to do with Tuckers current trainwreck.
Tucker's shit he pulled with ViolentAcres was petty and douchebaggy, so I also vote no messing with the "real life" PWJ, JoJo, et al.
I vote to drink grape juice.
I vote to drink the Cherry Kool-Aid
got any douche flavored?
OK, haterz, here is a five step program to get back on track (before you feel obligated to defend the honor of the brilliant Violent Acres, trash Tucker's friends, etc.)
1) Ask yourself "what would Tucker do"?
2) Tell yourself "why would i ask myself what Tucker would do"?
3) Observe what Tucker does.
4) Don't do that.
5) Cleverly mock it instead...or just do nothing, sit back and watch him descend into a level of self-parody that the internet-based world has hardly ever seen.
On an unrelated note, we should lure Violent Acres to this board, if she isn't already here...she is hilarious.
~ FDG
Yeah, don't mess with those guys, considering they haven't associated with Tucker in years and that JoJo is actually funny. Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised if Tucker stole a story or two from JoJo/Kamau.
Tucker hasn't been funny since 2005.
He never says funny shit on his message board, or even in his speeches, all he talks about now are serious topics, in-depth business stuff, following your dreams, etc.
If this movie has any witty jokes at all, it will be because the funny shit was written was by D-Rex. Of course, Tucker will still take credit for those jokes. It's Robert Greene's Law 7: Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit.
But Brain, what if I WANT to host a tea party with only Tickle Me Elmos and Furbies?
That is Jojo's real name. Get the nickname now? His initials are KC. KC & Jojo. Hahrhar!
He's also friends with Tucker on facebook and links to Tucker's stream on flickr (or did).
Honestly, though, I wouldn't mess with him. He seems to be more of the level-headed type. He's called Tucker out a couple of times and can be legitimately funny.
Slingblade is uhm, an FBI agent. So I probably wouldn't mess with him either.
Isn't it funny though how all of Tucker's law school friends who have been identified all seem to be successful and easily pulling in over 6 figures a year? My assumption is that Tucker is trying to prove himself to them. To show that he is also as successful, if not more.
I'm laughing so hard at this pic of Tucker's law school friends: http://web.archive.org/web/20000525201546/tuckermax.tripod.com/images/fraternity.jpg
Those guys had, like, totally cool adventures and stuff.
I say we leave personal stuff about Tucker's friend off the boards.
Their punishment is being friends with an ahole. That's enough.
This blog is about mocking Tucker and his fantasy world. Let's not stoop to the level of dape rape fratties.
"I say we leave personal stuff about Tucker's friend off the boards."
Anything I said was public information. And has already been disclosed on this board before. Nothing "revolutionary".
"This blog is about mocking Tucker and his fantasy world. Let's not stoop to the level of dape rape fratties."
I would think that showing the success his friends have is another form of mocking the shit out of Tucker, though. And his friends are mocking Tucker by showing what putting a law degree to use can do. You know, like have a steady income.
Not for nothing, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of these posts about 'leave Tucker's friends alone' were written by Tucker or one of his cronies. It would be prototypical Tucker to laud himself for 'steering' the direction of the very messageboard that mocks him, simultaneously protecting his homies.
I'm not saying that's what's happening, and I'm not saying anyone should take to hassling those guys... but it COULD be. Also, wouldn't hassling Tucker's crew perfectly send the message to Tucker that actions have consequences, and that what a person does affects others? This is something he still doesn't understand.
Case in point: if the Buthseckths incident really DID occur, there's probably a poor girl out there somewhere who feels like trash every time Tucker tells his silly, nasty story at her expense.
I'm just sayin'.
Tucker won't be learning any lessons. Part of the fun is how ignorant he remains despite the pedigrees and the sharply focused and often hilarious criticism. Also, anyone in the know could confirm that his old friends do mock him, publicly and privately. If he doesn't listen to them, do you think he will learn his lessons from a chorus of anonymity?
Regardless, these guys aren't his "crew" now...they are a bunch of thirtysomethings, many with families and all with real responsibilities. Who knows if they are still friends with him, in some cases? I could be one of these people...you never know. Or maybe I am just fucking with Tucker the right way with that last sentence. Which is it?
FOOTAGE LEAK!
Quick before it's pulled
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2TZdSy_qog
Ladies and gentlemen: I present to you, compliments of Youtube ... scenes from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2TZdSy_qog
Laugh now ... or, at least try to.
"FUCK WITH THEM. SEND EMAILS TO THEIR BOSSES. LET EVERYONE KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. FUCK TUCKER MAX AND MAKE HIS FRIENDS SUFFER."
Not even a little bit cool. Really, Tucker has put himself out there in the world and is fair game. I am assuming that most of Tucker's stories are BS and that the only crime these guys have committed is not calling him on the BS. You bother people at work and home, particularly lawyers; and they are going to get ISP and identifying data to address the harassment, particularly since one of them is an FBI agent. Plus they have wives, kids, and all that. Its not cool at all. Mocking Tucker without mercy is totally fair. Harassing people because of their associations ten years ago is way beyond the pale.
I've got a copy of the FLV from YouTube. If it gets pulled by the time I get home from work around 10:00 EDT or so, I'll put it on Rapidshare.
Jesus Christ, it's even worse than I thought.
This cinematic abortion is going to Tucker Max Fail.
clips from tucker's movie!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2TZdSy_qog
ahahhaaha
Ha! Operating piss-him off time: Post the link to Tucker's board. See how he responds.
It's worse than I thought. That make up is terrible, looks like something out of MJ's Thriller.
That is actually a bit funnier than I expected. Stults and Bradford are good actors- Czuchry is NOT. Ironic I guess since he is probably considered the biggest draw of the three. But he is so FUCKING FAKE and does not sell the confidence at all. Tucker is always saying on his blog how nice of a guy Czuchry is- and it really shows here. He just doesn't sell the confidence that role needs.
From the clip it appears to be totally unwatchable. The guy playing Tucker is a complete woman. This is a tucker max fail.
wow, i see they've gone with the 'lets replace all the jokes with the word Fuck' strategy for the trailer then,
12:02 PM: I hope you're joking. All bias aside, those clips suck.
epic tucker fail!
this is a case study when u of c economists and duke lawyers try to create art!
ha aha ha ah ahaa.
and the awesome thing about it is that you can see tucker directing every scene, standing behind bob gosse!
it caught his douchebaggery!
and now he has to tour with it!
haa aha hahaha aha !
now we know why there's no trailer!
So I guess that was the real script that leaked. Not some fake publicity stunt. Several of the lines are verbatim.
Don't taze me bro!!!!
@7/31/2009 11:56 AM: rapidshare isn't necessarily the best place, if you have a free account I think there's a limit of 10 downloads per file. Mediafire or megaupload work well in my experience.
Grr ... silly work websense keeping me from seeing the disaster ... hopefully it won't have been pulled when I get home in a few hoiurs
someone link it over at the imdb boards. and download it in case it gets pulled
Why would they pull this down-I see no incentive, assuming these are actual clips from the movie. If he's really confident in his "art", he should want this clip to float around the internet for free publicity.
Of course, if he does cite copyright to get this clip taken down, we'll know that he thinks it sucks too.
Just looks like a less funny version of American Pie.
fuck!
does that suck!
"someone link it over at the imdb boards. and download it in case it gets pulled"
It was linked at the imdb.com boards. That's how it came to here. Someone linked it on there first.
Well, I did a trusty Ctrl+F on some of the lines in this clip and his script and ... what do you know? Looks like most of the leaked script was indeed legit. Unless he wasted his investors' money by filming fake scenes also!
Revolutionary!
Holy crap, it's pretty bad. I wonder if they could have worked the word 'fuck' into the script a bit more.
Matt Chszxuchkry sucks... Tucker used to carry on about how they were creating a character that hadn't been done before... and they're right. Unfortunately, that character sucks and is lame.
Why would it get pulled? It's obviously an intentional leak.
12:38: Yeah, I think it may be their response to the whole MPAA issues. "Let's leak some raw footage via Youtube."
It does make sense. But I don't think it helps their case at all.
Notice the Youtube account also. It was created just to upload that leak.
Sneaky.
Yeah, this was definitely put up on purpose. It's too well-edited to be anything else.
Yeah, its totally leaked since they cant release the trailer.
That was embarrassing to watch.
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fucker
Fuck
BALONEY!!!!
As a (male) (nongay) Gilmore Girls fan, Czuchry actually did a decent job with that role. My biggest problem was with how the character was written, particularly in the later episodes. He's certainly capable. It wouldn't surprise me at all that he just didn't try very hard with a role that clearly is a dead end.
"The idea of leaking the trailer actually comes from the fact that Judd Apatow did that with Pineapple Express. In an interview, the film's director - David Gordon Green - stated that because Tropic Thunder picked the same release date as them, Apatow leaked the trailer for Pineapple Express. When it got a hundred thousand views, he sent the link to the studio releasing Tropic Thunder and told them, 'You don't want to go up against this.' Tropic Thunder had it's release date pushed back a week.
So - to keep this on topic - does the MPAA come down on the producer's for a 'leaked' trailer, or does Apatow just have enough clout that he can pull that off?"
On Tucker's board last night. Is Tucker taking ideas from board members again? Tucker? You there? BALONEY!
"There's clips of the movie on Youtube."
Was posted on Tucker's board. Was removed in a dash. Haha.
Could this be the red band trailer without music then? I reckon he'll pull it though (if he indeed 'leaked it), saying it's unfinished, before colouring, sans music yada yada...He'll think it will leave his audience wanting more.
It's just beyond poor anyway.
Expanding to more screens on October 16th my eye...
As soon as the numbers come in from the first weekend theaters will be looking for other movies to put in those slots.
I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, that I may just be wrong, but I'm not. It's awful.
I feel so bad for everyone involved in this movie, except Tucker.
By the way, the leak... is it Tucker getting around the MPAA? And it doesn't seem to be making any sort of rounds so far, even though it just got leaked. By posting it, do we become complicit in his marketing?
Matt Whocry's voice cracks a lot in it too.
"By the way, the leak... is it Tucker getting around the MPAA?"
It has already been theorized that this is the case.
"And it doesn't seem to be making any sort of rounds so far, even though it just got leaked. By posting it, do we become complicit in his marketing?"
Of course we do. However, the only message our marketing sends is: "This art will shit on your dick".
Really, we aren't helping him.
Well, its important that we frame the debate then. If he did leak the footage, then when his fans get to it we can already head it off from a comments and rating stand point.
If he didn't leak it, then its even worse for him because it kills the buzz for the movie. One of his idiot fan boys will get a hold of it if they don't pull it and it'll be "dude, bro, this is awesome lolz"
Haterz,
How can you not say that this is NOT the most original genre busting comedy ever.
Did you see the look on Matt's face and the way he walked right before the shit scene, I mean that was totally original. I mean it was even better than the shit scene from two separate American Pies, Dumb & Dumber, Along Came Polly, Austin Powers, Bad News Bears, Big Mommas House, Hamburger the Motion Picture, Me Myself and Irene, any Cheech & Chong movie, Not Another Teen Movie, Police Academy, Porky's 2, Spring Break, Threesome, Trainspotting, True Lies, Two Weeks Notice, Van Wilder, Weird Science, and White Chicks.
Best.Shit Scene.Ever.
" slobartender (5 minutes ago)
How can you say this is terrible? It's a stolen leaked edit. For all you know this stuff was swept up off the cutting room floor. "
The Tucker apologists have found the video. Rut roh!
Time to get the Amazon army together for some "OMG, AWESOME, CAN'T WAIT" youtube comments.
Is it really that bad ?
See this film is dialogue driven . . . not hijinx! Note the way the characters use the F word in every possible context. This is really groundbreaking dialogue. I mean to juxtapose the character's true status as rich privileged kids attending one of the better law schools in the country and having them try and sound like gansta rappers-- brilliant. I mean the dialogue is so clever. And the make up work. The blood on the character's face looks like something you would see in a high school play, which only adds to the realism that some random cop would beat a rich law student and leave obvious cuts and bruises to support a brutality case. It's epic. I mean not since Porky's have we seen the whole small town cop beating up a kid having fun cliche. And the scenes in the strip club are so much more real than the hundreds of other movies that have used gratuitous strip club scenes. I haven't seen anything like it since Eddie Murpy's 48 hours, but this is better since instead of a street smart convict, it is a smug privileged kid wearing something that looks like one of the Outsiders would wear.
I don't know about you, but this is exactly what American Filmaking Art has been waiting for. Call the Academy, we need to nominate Fuck, Fuck, Fucker, Baloney for best screen play. Zuckerman had to have been serious with no hint of sarcasm when he told tucker that this was oscar caliber screen writing.
"Is it really that bad ?"
IMO, yes. Have you not seen it yet?
Wow. No one loves a good expletive more than this fucking bitch...
but that is ridiculous.
I hope all of those didn't make it to final cut.
PS, I'm impressed this is a "real" film as I was half expecting him to have pieced it together from cell phone video clips.
PPS, I'm 30 and I still laugh at the ironic profanity of the South Park movie but NOTHING in this clip made me laugh.
Ok, I saw it.
That's actually funny.
Czuchry does a good job of making abysmally bad writing into something decent.
The overuse of the f-bomb is very obviously intentional.
I can't believe I'm saying this. That movie, targeted at the right demographic, might actually do decently well.
There'll be absolutely no living with Tucker if it does.
"The Tucker apologists have found the video. Rut roh!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHABUAHUAHAUA...
Look out scoobey do!
"Czuchry does a good job of making abysmally bad writing into something decent."
IMO he is too nice and completely unbelievable as an a-hole, I don't believe him for one second.
That he's this pussy getting, excessive drinking, ultra confident dude. He looks like he'd have trouble hurting a fly with that cracking cowards voice.
"That he's this pussy getting, excessive drinking, ultra confident dude. He looks like he'd have trouble hurting a fly with that cracking cowards voice."
But you forget: he's playing Tucker.
I can't believe thats a trailer to get people to watch the movie.
Seriously, that has to be a joke, like the first trailer they rejected.
"Czuchry does a good job of making abysmally bad writing into something decent.'
Actually, you just can't help hating him intensely. From the tight fitting white t-shirt, to the whiny voice, he just seems entirely clueless.
Superbad, American Pie, etc were all about the underdog getting lucky. Nobody wants to watch a rich smarmy tool act like a faux tough guy and get his buddies in trouble
Epic Fail.
These clips are so bad, I almost feel like...what's the point of making fun of Tucker anymore?
"But you forget: he's playing Tucker."
Oh you're right, Tucker has a frail cracking voice and is completely unimposing in real life! I forgot.
Just bad. Not creative, not cutting edge, and certainly not funny.
Ok, the book was mildly amusing for 2-3 stories, and then it became repetitive. This though is shaping up to be an epic train wreck.
And of course it was released to be viral---its simply a recap of all the "fuck" scenes in the movie. Was this supposed to be controversial? Jesus, Tucker is dumber than I thought. Is this, 3 years into the process, the best they can come up with for building buzz?
Worse, it matches the leaked scripts exactly---and that certainly isn't a good thing.
Whomever posted that this is evidence of why they didn't get distribution is spot-on.
IFTB
"Ok, I saw it.
That's actually funny.
Czuchry does a good job of making abysmally bad writing into something decent."
I sincerely hope you're joking. Some of the lines that Czuchry said made me cringe. And the ways he delivered them made me cringe also.
i.e. The entire midget scene. Painful.
I am the target demo... In that I will laugh at almost anything and find true debauchery amusing.
This is not something I'd watch based on these clips.
I only laughed when the kid from bring it on said something about getting his kidneys stolen. The rest was awkward. I feel bad for the cast.
I am also the target demographic. And I didn't like it. I don't know what it was about it, it just, didn't seem right. Maybe because most of the jokes are out of context, but I don't see them surviving within the dialogue either.
*Shrug*
Get your pussies ready ladies,the Confederacy of Fail Bus Tour starts in 11 days!!!
No rush on disclosing theaters or ticket info. In the days of twitter, a few hours notice is all you have to give of such an epic event. You've seen the leaked scenes so you know you'll be getting sharp dialogue with a minimum of hi jinx.
It's a torrent on The Pirate Bay now. This was done by Tucker or one of his bitches- almost no question.
"This was done by Tucker or one of his bitches- almost no question."
Of course. It's been questioned based upon the timing. Trailer can't go out, so fake a leak? Okay!
Only problem is the leaked video sucks.
BALONEY
Does Nils Parker have a thyroid problem?
Wow, I can't believe how bad the leaked footage is. I mean, wow...
But LEAVE CZURCHY ALONE. I'm sure he's a decent actor, but that can only do so much with such an awful awful script. I feel so bad for the actors in this movie.
If Bob Gosse already had a minimal directing career this isn't going to be the movie to save it.
I mean, wow. I knew it'd be bad, but I wasn't expecting this.
Are you kidding? The material may be weak, but Czuchry's delivery made me cringe.
Get your pussies ready, ladies.
3:18, you gotta imagine delivering lines from a script with no natural flow, no substance. i'm sure the guy would do really well with a good script, but I think he's doing DECENT with the script given.
i don't think any of the actors in this film will be adding "i hope they serve beer" to their headshot resumes.
The video was taken down. WTF? I guess it wasn't a strategic leak.
3:32 PM: Here, get it elsewhere:
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/5034994/IHTSBIH_tucker_max_I_hope_they_serve_beer_in_hell_LEAK
It's still on Gawker.
http://gawker.com/5327579/lowlights-from-tucker-maxs-terrible-movie
3:32 there's no way it could be. Tucker's an idiot, but that leak is total sabotage, pass that thing around enough and his members on his board would tally down to 0, and he wouldn't wind up selling even one ticket.
That leak made Wild Hogs look hilarious.
"3:32 there's no way it could be. Tucker's an idiot, but that leak is total sabotage, pass that thing around enough and his members on his board would tally down to 0, and he wouldn't wind up selling even one ticket."
I disagree. Tucker's an idiot for thinking this is good, but the video was removed by the original poster, not by YouTube. Usually, when YouTube takes a video down, we see the 'violation of terms of service' banner.
3:46 you're probably right. I wouldn't be surprised if it were removed after seeing the negative reactions.
Can anybody enlighten me here?
Did Tucker (supposedly) decline his major studio distribution deal before or after his movie was made? I think I read somewhere on his blog he apparently declined for total creative control, but if it were the latter, creative control over WHAT? Promotional material that, a month before release, doesn't even exist?
Or was it because they were going to make it straight to DVD and he was such an egotistical moron he just HAD to have his shit movie displayed in movie theaters?
On that note, who the fuck goes to the movies to see a comedy, unless it's the Hangover or a Apatow team release (obvious track record there to expect something worthwhile)?
If it was leaked by them, they rolled it out really badly. A Friday afternoon in the middle of the summer? Tucker's demographic isn't sitting by a computer at 4PM searching for this stuff. There wasn't a twitter campaign around it, nor a fake Facebook group that had it posted. It got less than 500 views and it was pulled by the user.
Boy, if this is Carrot Creative then they're pretty bad. I have no clue what the video was but its funny that Gawker got it. Someone from here send it to them?
Like I've said, fucking terrible brand management. You release this type of shit on a Wednesday.
- NO LOGO
(after viewing "leaked" fuck-footage):
with face frozen in an expression of shocked amazement, I stand and slowly begin clapping. as triumphant music swells I am overcome with emotion and begin to weep openly. I am applauding with all my might now, desperately wishing to send my appreciation (via applause, adulation etc.) to mr. max through sheer willpower. finally, overcome by the power of art, I collapse into my computer chair. bravo, Tucker. bravo.
I'm pretty sure Tucker Max's art just took a shit on my dick.
On Gawker:
UPDATE: Max wrote in to urge we remove the clip:
That clip was not a promotional stunt, it was stolen illegally. Just take it down, you guys will be welcome to host the trailer as much as you want when it releases next week.
From Gawker
DATE: Max wrote in to urge we remove the clip:
That clip was not a promotional stunt, it was stolen illegally. Just take it down, you guys will be welcome to host the trailer as much as you want when it releases next week.
Cough. Bullshit. Cough.
I think Gawker and Tucker are working together.
"That clip was not a promotional stunt, it was stolen illegally."
As opposed to something that's stolen legally.
Of course Tucker can't say "Yup! That was us who leaked it."
However, how hilarious would it be if a person on the crew leaked it because he got tired of listening to Tucker's bullshit?
I'd laugh.
I didn't know that stolen needs a qualifier of "illegally."
Thou doth protest too much dear Tucker. Seriously, those near him, keep eyes open for depression/suicidal ideations.
-licensed psychologist
Could somebody post a link to rapidshare or some such similar service with the leaked clip?
TheBunny is ugly.
http://gawker.com/5327579/lowlights-from-tucker-maxs-terrible-movie?autoplay=true
You know, I just had a nice-Tucker memory. There was a drunken evening many years ago where I posted too much personal info and sent Tucker a pm asking him to remove it. He did so without any mockery or spite.
I have genuine empathy for him right now. Sometimes, you put shit out there and have immediate regret. Wow. I can't believe I feel badly for him but I do... How awful that his bubble is busting in such a public way.
Tucker, if you read this, I'm siding with those who have chosen to walk away from the train wreck. I'm so sorry shit isn't going as planned. I hope this can serve as your rock bottom and that you head back up with more kindness and awareness of self and others.
4:30
You just have to wonder how much BS spin Tucker can put out there before it all collapses in on him. When the script was leaked, Tucker inferred that they had done it intentionally, and were using the media (Gawker in particular) as pawns in his marketing scheme. I'm sure he'll try to play this angle again (if he even addresses it to the 20 or so "fans" who frequent his blog) with this snippet of the movie.
Regardless, the chickens are quickly coming home to roost. The movie looks just awful: poor production values, horrible script (the argument that TM made that the script that was leaked was an early version, and that the movie was 99% different, was obviously a lie), C list actors, D list director, and E list internet blogger/producer = Confederacy of Fail.
Was it just me, or did it seem like all the actors were just trying a little bit to hard to make something out of shite?
IFTB
poor li'l ol' tucka!
Guys-
The piratebay video has 0 seeds, but is almost 40 MB. The gawker video is ~6 MB. Is it the same video, just encoded differently?
"The piratebay video has 0 seeds, but is almost 40 MB. The gawker video is ~6 MB. Is it the same video, just encoded differently?"
Yes, different compressions most likely. I can tell you the Gawker video is no where near as clear as the Youtube video was. The Pirate Bay video will probably be more clear.
"I have genuine empathy for him right now. Sometimes, you put shit out there and have immediate regret. Wow. I can't believe I feel badly for him but I do... How awful that his bubble is busting in such a public way.
Tucker, if you read this, I'm siding with those who have chosen to walk away from the train wreck. I'm so sorry shit isn't going as planned. I hope this can serve as your rock bottom and that you head back up with more kindness and awareness of self and others."
This is gay TO THE MAX!
Tucker gets 100% of what comes. I still think he (or one of his biznitches) put up the video, but if not, this is great.
I don't know if anyone else noticed (since you were all cringing at the bad dialog), but there's no background music, background noise, etc.
Maybe somebody in post-production made a clip a few months ago of every "fuck" in the movie and passed it around. Or maybe tugger even requested it. But it doesn't look like trailer material and I find it hard to believe tugger would leak the unfinished product.
Assuming this isn't an intentional leak: Who would have the kind of access needed to edit and leak these clips without being a financial beneficiary of the film?
It would be awesome if somebody would post the leaked youtube flv, for posterity's sake.
7/31/2009 4:51 PM:
Oh, it was noticed. It just doesn't mean shit. That really was painful to watch.
This movie got butt-fucked by a garbage truck
"It would be awesome if somebody would post the leaked youtube flv, for posterity's sake."
Somebody mentioned that they got the flv and will post it later tonight.
Mods? Any inside panic occurring?
Whenever Tucker does something he thinks is cleverly strategic, he can't shut the fuck up about it.
This is clearly not a planned leak, the message board has been completely silent.
BRING IT.
If you want to promote humor of trashing (and wahooing people), YOU ARE FAIR GAME.
JOJO and PWJ, emails are inbound, please report back on unemployment and how Tucker's success is working for you.
barrybater2001@yahoo.com
Email me and I'll send you the .flv video.
get your pussies ready! (offer only available for the next 10 downloaders)
Email is going out right now to PWJ and JOJO's boss. and don't worry when we get to your sexual perversion games JOJO, they'll love that stuff a-hole.
:START:
Please be advised of your employee Sean P. Trende's association with controversial figure TUCKER MAX. Links included below. Assuredly, this is not someone clients would want representing them.
His alias is PWJ on that site and it will take very little investigative work to coroborate his involvement in the racist, sexist, highly offensive stories.
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?postID=117436504077523328&blogID=21127102&isPopup=false&page=40
WWW.TUCKERMAX.COM
With friends like Tucker, who needs enemies?
What about JoJo's sexual perversion games?
Calls will be going out to HR first thing.
Does anybody in their right mind think corporate clients want anybody associated with this kind of racist, sexist, rape-advocating scumbag associated with them? Hope Tucker has a job lined up for you PWJ and JOJO. Think Ryan Holiday or BC Woods-type pay.
Doubt it.
I notice you're not sending one to the F.B.I. about Slingblade/Aaron Kellerman. Pussy.
^LMFAO, good job on Jojo and PWJ.
So, JOJO, I mean Kamau A. Coar,
Does Ungaretti & Harris approve of you spending your days on the TuckerMax Messageboard imploring girls to invest in butt-plugs, blow-up dolls and massive dildos? (ALL DOCUMENTED AND PROVABLE UNLIKE YOUR BOY TUCKER'S STORY'S. YES ASSHOLE WE HAVE THE PROOF, therfore NOT LIBEL. BELIEVE IT? No, I'm sure you just REMEMBER.)
IT'S FUCKING ON. You assholes want to wahoo people for years, payback is a bitch Motherfuckers.
JOJO:
Kamau A. Coar
Partner
Chicago
312.977.4343
kacoar@uhlaw.com
PWJ:
Sean P. Trende
Associate
Litigation & Intellectual Property Practice
Richmond
(804) 788-8517 Phone
(804) 788-8218 Fax
So the IHTSBIH trailer is coming out on Tuesday, and Tucker & Co. have actually sprung for ad space on myspace.
Didn't think they had that sort of cash, but not a bad plan of attack....except that 80% of myspace regular users are <17, and thus won't be able to see the movie.
Tucker Max Fail.
IFTB
PS. NILS PARKER IS STILL AN EPIC DOUCHEBAG.
Over/under before his ugly wife leaves him is now 6 monts. Start the VBOOKIE EVENT.
http://nilsparkerisadouchebag.blogspot.com/
I heard that Tucker Max gave Michael jackson the idea of using anesthetic meds to sleep.
Also, I got an email saying that Tucker paid the Cambridge PD to harass Dr. Gates.
Tucker hates blax.
PS: Since the TMMB has absolutely no problem invading anyone's privacy and hiding behind the first amendment, PLEASE POST ANY AND ALL TUCKERMAX GROUPIES/FRIENDS/MODS Information here.
Not Jon Tando though, we all know he lives in a dumpster with ZERO income. Thank you. WAHOO Time Mother F'rs.
and just a friendly reminder:
SEAN TRENDE:
http://www.hunton.com/bios/bio.aspx?id=16721&tab=0013
KAMAU COUR
http://www.uhlaw.com/kacoar/
FUCK WITH THEM. SEND EMAILS TO THEIR BOSSES. LET EVERYONE KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. FUCK TUCKER MAX AND MAKE HIS FRIENDS SUFFER.
I'm going to have to agree with whoever said the people posting here are starting to cross some serious boundaries. Tucker's friends/minions jojo, hate, and slingblade might have made a stupid choice to hang out with Mr. Max, but they don't deserve to have their livelihoods destroyed. Do many people outside of RMMB know who these fellows are? I was under the impression they were semi-anonymous in the scheme of things. I'm no Tucker apologist; Tucker deserves a karmic bitch-slap for what he did to Miss Vermont...but I know that many of us do thongs in our free time our bosses might look askance at.
They are posting their own info.
They want you to harass so they can file charges.
Seriously.
They are playing you. Bunny, jojo, and nils are all here posting trying to the heat off of tucker.
^^^^^^^
dammit...iPhone corrected my misspelling of "things" to "thongs." there goes my hope of being taken seriously.
Well, if anybody is interested in playing "guess the rest of Tucker's law school friends" .. here is the class list from 2001:
http://www.law.duke.edu/alumni/reunion/2006/2001list.html
Gris=TDG
Emails already out to HR at JOJO and PWJ's firms. More to follow. Keep the contact info coming!
EXCUSE ME, I MEANT:
Kamau A. Coar and SEAN TRENDE.
Do these idiots really think there are no copies of the old board? Hard copies? Remember kids, it's NOT LIBEL IF IT IS TRUE.
"Credit" is Eric Smith
Good luck googling that generic name.
BUT TUCKER ISN'T EVEN THE FUNNIEST ONE OF HIS FRIENDS!!!!!!
^^^^^^
dude, for real!? This is their marketing strategy/damage control?? This is almost not funny anymore. It's a case study in the self-destruction of a narcissist. What are they going to do when the audience boos at one of ther shows or when Tucker gets heckled...only the first few stops are going to go in knowing nothing about the filIm. Are they going to make everyone put their heads down and stay late?
At this point I think their iPhone app should be a Tucker max suicide watch of some sort.
So much for PWJ's legal career. You can thank your best buddy Tucker Sean (although, let's be honest the underage girls probably would've ratted you out first.)
6:47 PM: Here's a start:
http://www.avvo.com/attorneys/10022-ny-eric-smith-984687.html
Haterz, you're being set up. Do not fall for it. Keep your right mind about you. They are muddying the waters.
Why the hell do I keep saying PWJ (PASTY WHITE JUSTICE BTW, great nickname loser). It's SEAN TRENDE:
http://www.hunton.com/bios/bio.aspx?id=16721&tab=0013
Being friend's with Tucker has it's advantages. It's like Amex. But with more STDS. and career downside.
No joke about the suicide watch app. More sane people than tuck have decided to check out.
Who's being set up? Tucker is already an EPIC failure (lives w/roommates in seedy part of LA, movie about to bomb, no trailer, no income, etc etc.) His friends are much more fun to talk about.
THEY ARE ACTUALLY SUCCESSFUL. And not following their fucking ART!!!
Well not successful for long having connected with one of the world's most epic losers. Ya know.
I'm the girlfriend of one of the cast. It is hurtful foe this to come up when I google his film. He did his job.
Haterz are being set up. Most non tucker posts are written by tucker's camp. Erin nils sean mike kumou
They are trying to provoke harassment to discredit the haterz as insane thereby invalidating their opi ions
and no offense to JOJO (KAMAU COUR)or PWJ (SEAN TRENDE.) .. But NILS PARKER IS THE MOST EPIC LOSER OF THE GROUP. MESSAGEBOARD GROUPIE SUCKED UP TO TUCKER ENOUGH TO GET A WRITING CREDIT. (Took a fall for a DWI in NY, and infinite other pathetic revelations coming soon..)
Many more stories to come on how pathetic Nils Parker is, almost unbelievable. Stay tuned to: http://nilsparkerisadouchebag.blogspot.com/
BTW, keep eating Nils. your wife thinks you're hot. and talented. HA"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHaHA
Who's Girlfriend are you? Matt's?
Yeah, his 'Don't Taze me Bro' is going down in cinematic history.
Trying dating non-douchebags. Just an idea. Whore.
"Haterz are being set up. Most non tucker posts are written by tucker's camp. Erin nils sean mike kumou"
Set up for what? Nothing on the board has been illegal. Publicly disclosing names is not against the law.
7/31/2009 7:05 PM
^^^
You conspiracy theorists are the funniest. We're BEATING A DEAD HORSE:
TUCKER SUCKS. HIS MOVIE SUCKS. EVERYONE KNOWS. Let's move on. There's other material to work with, like his pathetic friends. Get on board doofus, we're all on the same team.
Fine. Don't listen. Your arrogance is no less pathetic than tucker's crap. I was just trying to worn you guys before you undo all of your hardwork.
And I've got $100 that fat bastard NILS doesn't make it past the first leg of the tour for health reasons.
Thyroid problems.
Running out of In-and-Out.
Not enough of Tucker's dick in his mouth.
Still too fat.
Heart attack. (kinda too much to hope for.)
"Fine. Don't listen. Your arrogance is no less pathetic than tucker's crap. I was just trying to worn you guys before you undo all of your hardwork."
I haven't done anything, so I don't care really, but I'm still curious: you just being sarcastic or do you know something?
7/31/2009 7:13 PM
^^^
Guy, we all get it! Tucker is the text book definition of douchebag. We are allowed to expand the discussion, -it is OK. We can return to the topic as he posts more ludicrous posts (TODAY: MPAA wouldn't let us release in more that 100 screens. bastards.)
Let us have some fun in the downtime.
Tucker thought the internet would revolutionize his movie. And he's right, but for the wrong reasons.
The internet leaked his script (2 versions!) before he started shooting.
The internet leaked the director and actors, before him (or any trades).
The internet leaked stories of tugger being a douchebag on the set.
The internet leaked the facts of his (lack of) distribution.
The internet leaked footage from his movie.
Yep, thanks to the internet we know that tugger's movie is an epic failure.
^^
I know that PWJ, JOJO, CREDIT, Mr. Jake, JOHN TANDO and anyone else we can get contact info for is going to have MASSIVE employment problems.
How does that work for you?
Fun=doing exactly what you criticize tucker for doing?
No thanks. Not interested in your type of fun. You are still thw same lame fanbois who posted idiotic stuff on rmmb and now it is being brought here.
I'm out of my 20s... Not as much time for games.
Guys, lets get our asses out of our heads. If you email the employers of those guys, nobody will care. You'll just be blacklisted with the spammers. Nobody cares what those guys may or may not have written semi-anonymously on some messageboard. And nobody is going to get sued for anything, either. You can email anybody with anything, that's not a crime. When was the last time a cyberbulling lawsuit was filed (on behalf of somebody over the age of 15)?
PWJ was quiet and not involved in shenanigans.
Jojo was perverted and in it to get laid but was sweet and respectful and never went through with it.
Tando is a good guy who is friendly and fair. He was always kind.
Luke is a goodguy who was def in it for kink but has settled down over the last few years. He was always kind too.
The assholes of radius are not th guys you listed. The assholes are the new mods. Kungfumike gris suapyg geigs captcapital
7:05, um, set up for what? There's maybe, 2, 3 people here who post with names? Does anybody give a fuck if our opinions are "discredited"? I have no fucking clue who anyone is who posts here, and I really couldn't careless about being imaginatively set up.
Relax man, unplug your computer and considering getting a job, most people are here for entertainment and nothing more.
7/31/2009 6:27 PM ^^^
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
Half of Tucker's fame is for harassing people who wanted nothing to do with him!!!! HAVE YOU READ HIS STORIES YOU IDIOT? Miss Vermont, Dimeo... How many WAHOOS on the Messageboard?
For the uninitiated, Tucker groupies used to psycially call/email/harass the living shit out of anyone they decided was a douchebag (think Jersey guidos.) TONS OF TIMES.
GUESS what ASSHOLES? IT WORKS BOTH WAYS.
Continue to post MODS/Friends/CULT-Board Members/etc (NOT Bunny she is busy being anal raped in rehab.)
IT IS ON.
If you people are so fucking worried, write emails from an unsecured wireless location or through a proxy.
Tucker is too easy a target. We are going after his minions now.
AND NOT RYAN (I edit the amazon ratings Holiday) or Jon (Dumpster Diving Tando). The ones he cares about.
Game on.
Oh, my bad, I didn't know ignorant hypocrisy was entertaining.
Grrr, I hate liars but I like telling lies.
Grrrrrrrr, idiots who treat people badly deserve fails and they deserve to be treated badly by me.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, wahooing was such a dick move so let's yahoo them now.
Grow the fuck up you little FAS baby.
"If you people are so fucking worried, write emails from an unsecured wireless location or through a proxy."
No need to be. Everything I've seen posted here seems to be legal. *Shrug*
It's awfully suspicious all of the contact info for Tucker max's camp pops up right before his tour gets started. They want to accuse us of harassment and shut this place down.
This isn't 4-chan, people. We're anonymous but not ANONYMOUS.
IT'S A TRAP!
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