The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,918 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 6801 – 7000 of 15918 Newer› Newest»" he still hasn't told us the theaters were the college tour is coming."
I went to my local Mexican "espiritsta" witch or whatever and she looked into her crystal ball and plugged it into her netbook and printed out this Tuckerupdate from some point between now and September:
"Ok, guys, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that after a lot of work and looking over the details of the thing, we've decided not to do the college tour. I know, you all were really hyped up about this and ready to buy the tickets as soon as they came online and have been waiting for months for the chance. Well the good news is that we're not doing it because we're doing something better! I've been talking it over with Nils and Sean and Bob and Matt and Keri (who I am totally fucking day in and day out - she called me up out of the blue one day, saying "Hey Tucker, I kept thinking back to our days on the set and really missed you" and just hasn't been able to get enough of my cock since, because I am totally awesome that way) and anyway we all came up with this totally awesome revolutionary plan for showing the movie. Trust me, it's awesome. I can't tell you more about it right now because of complicated legal stuff but when this gets announced it is going to totally overturn every single applecart in Hollywood, everybody is going to be talking about this, in the streets, at the water cooler, over lunch, you're not going to be able to go anywhere without hearing people talk about how totally awesome and revolutionary what we're doing is. This is the dawn of a new age of art, and I'm the one bringing it into existence. Me, Tucker Max."
Why do you people want this movie to fail? If you don't like Tucker Max don't read his books. You think his stories are lies because your own life lessons are so boring. Trust me, if you have ever been at a large college fraternity party you'd see that real life dwarfes any antic Max has written about.
You guys have yet to see one single frame from of the movie and yet you seem to have all the answers. I guess Tim Ferris is wrong. I guess Charlie Hoehn didn't do his homework. From what I've read the film is hilarious and edgy. I'll let the film speak for itself and not worry about some losers on a blog.
"You think his stories are lies because your own life lessons are so boring."
Yeah, that's the main reason for concluding that something is a lie. Like when I thought Bush was lying about Iraq...it was because my ownn life was so boring that I thought he was lying. Not because he was actually just lying.
"Trust me, if you have ever been at a large college fraternity party you'd see that real life"
I was unaware that a college fraternity party was "Real Life" I must be missed something about the other 80 mfing years I will spend no where around a college campus being real life.
"dwarfes any antic Max has written about."
Yeah, Fraternities are such valueable guidelines to form society around. And entertaining as heck. Not like they are total cockfests most of the time.
(Hey, like anyone in college I was around Frats, let's not over glamorize them ok)
"From what I've read the film is hilarious and edgy. I'll let the film speak for itself and not worry about some losers on a blog."
You along with every other major who was chomping at the bit to make this movie.
Maybe I'm forgetting about the dozens of reviews that have already been made by various sources that have deemed this movie near unwatchable.
You said he couldn't become a writer and now he's a NYT bestselling author for three years.
You said he would not last in Hollywood and now he's about to realse a summer comedy.
Even if this film doesn't make 200/300 million it will still be Tucker's movie. He owns the prints and masters. He owns the franchise. Why do you think they didn't make a union movie? Why did they turn down much larger deals in order to do it their own way? It's called creative control. Putting ownership back in the hands of the artist.
"I'll let the film speak for itself and not worry about some losers on a blog."
7/20/2009 10:08 AM
-----------------------
DON'T TAZE ME, BRO!
"You said he couldn't become a writer and now he's a NYT bestselling author for three years."
In fairness, I haven't been reading Tucker that long. I was in that target demographic of "at the airport bookstore with nothing to read"
But on point...he's on the "supplemental list" and that's "off and on" not 3 years straight.
And I didn't know Toilet Books could be considered writing. But I guess to each their own.
"You said he would not last in Hollywood and now he's about to realse a summer comedy."
Has he made any entry into Hollywood? I'm confused. I see other celebrities (even D-listers) all the time. I never see Tucker on anything.
"Even if this film doesn't make 200/300 million it will still be Tucker's movie. He owns the prints and masters. He owns the franchise."
I bet the guy who owns Gigli is saying the same thing.
"Why do you think they didn't make a union movie?"
Because a union crew would have kicked his ass on set?
"Why did they turn down much larger deals in order to do it their own way?"
Because he's an idiot, has no business sense at all, and the offer never existed.
"It's called creative control. Putting ownership back in the hands of the artist."
The artistry of shitting on dick.
10:08 & 10:47, you're the best troll yet. Keep it up!
You haterz make me sick. Look at the blog post I found from James Cameron about two months before The Titanic was released;
Trailer: We finished the trailer today, and I think it's really fucking good. It is awesome without giving the best awesome parts away, it tells you what the movie is about without giving any plot twists away, it has a lot in it without making you feel like you've already seen the movie, and MOST importantly--it maintains the spirit and edge of the movie while still being within the parameters of a green band trailer (at least I think it is, we still need MPAA approval). It'll take another week to test it out on a few audiences and do the audio mix, and we will probably post it either next week (hopefully) or the week after.
-Poster: The one sheet is almost done, at this point it is at the semantics stage, which is still important. I think this will be done and ready to go by the time the trailer is.
-The Premiere Tour: The Tour is basically locked and dates are being booked as we speak. We should have everything booked by Friday, and the minute we book the last stop, I will post the official tour schedule so people can start planning. We are thinking nursing homes are a good demographic because they remember the whole shipwreck and everything.
-Tickets: Tickets WON'T go on sale immediately though. We will do two things before tickets go on sale; post the green band trailer on the internet, and get the new site up. This means that tickets for the Premiere Tour will probably go on sale during the week of July 27-31st. Maybe before then, but I will obviously give plenty of notice. Speaking of the new site...
-New site: Carrot Creative hit a fucking home run with the site. I expected a lot, and they exceeded my very high expectations. It is awesome. Wait until you see it--it is the coolest movie site I've ever seen, because not only is it really sleek, but it is also very functional and useful. I don't know how long until that is up, but it won't be long--it'll be up before the trailer is up or the tickets go on sale.
Take that you haterz
"Why do you people want this movie to fail? "
Because we think Tucker is a douchebag. If we wanted Tucker to succeed, then we would post comments on Iwannasucktucker off.com
"If you don't like Tucker Max don't read his books.'
Can't we read book (singular right) just to make fun of it?
"You think his stories are lies because your own life lessons are so boring.'
No, my life lesson when I took out a telephone pole drunk, was that the next thing I would see would be a black and white cruiser with a light on top. So from that life lesson, I assume that something similar would happen if I parked my car inside a downtown story. Excitement enough for you.
"Trust me,'
Howdy Tucker. And for those playing the drinking game, that means a shot of Jaegermeister.
"if you have ever been at a large college fraternity party you'd see that real life dwarfes any antic Max has written about."
Yeah, ask the Duke Lacrosse boys how things stay secret? No police report there, right.
"You guys have yet to see one single frame from of the movie and yet you seem to have all the answers."
The Distributors saw it and didn't buy it. They bought the Love Guru. Next question.
"I guess Tim Ferris is wrong. I guess Charlie Hoehn didn't do his homework. "
What distributors do these guys work for. if they think its so great, why don't they put up the money that real distributors would not.
"From what I've read the film is hilarious and edgy."
Don't Taze me Bro. Hilarious and edgy.
"I'll let the film speak for itself and not worry about some losers on a blog.'
I'll let Freestyle Releasing and no P & A speak for me Broseph.
"Yeah, ask the Duke Lacrosse boys how things stay secret?"
Considering how that whole thing was a pack of lies told by the stripper and unquestioningly trumpeted by the anti-white racist media and none of the lacrosse players were ever charged and the prosecutor who whipped the whole thing up was eventually debarred for misconduct, I think you could pick a better example.
Why do I want Tucker's movie to fail?
Because, as a writer, I am disappointed by Tucker's lack of writing ability. When Tucker produces trash and calls it "art," he desecrates a noble craft that I love and respect. Content aside, Tucker's command of language leaves a great deal to be desired, and he demonstrates a pointed disinterest in improvement.
As a woman and a feminist, I am offended and saddened by Tucker's attitude toward women. The way he, personally, treats women does not particularly concern me, because there will always be assholes who take advantage of unintelligent women with low self-esteem. But by propagating that attitude, he encourages immature, uneducated, undiscerning young men to see women as objects rather than human beings. To propagate the notion that women are undeserving of basic respect is destructive to both women and men.
As a human being with a basic sense of decency, I am disgusted by Tucker's existence in general. To glorify such behavior does a disservice to humanity. I am an idealist. I envision a world in which empathy and compassion are fostered and celebrated. Tucker's stories have no place in such a world.
This is why I root for and relish in Tucker's failure.
XOXO
-Cute Feminist
correction, none of the lacrosse players were ever convicted. They certainly were charged and had to blow an awful lot of money on lawyers defending against essentially bullshit accusations.
I'd also like to point out that I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is on the paperback nonfiction bestseller list. If the book were correctly classified as fiction, it would never even have a shot at the supplemental list. Also, to give you an idea of the company that Tucker's "art" shares, Glenn Beck's Common Sense is currently #1 on the paperback nonfiction list.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
"Why do I want Tucker's movie to fail?
Because, as a writer, I am disappointed by Tucker's lack of writing ability. When Tucker produces trash and calls it 'art'..."
Hi Bunny!
Glad to see you're finally seeing sense!
:-)
Ew, I am SO not The Bunny.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
Charlie Hoehn: "I’m helping Tucker Max with some of the online marketing for his movie that’s coming out next year."
http://charliehoehn.com/2008/12/22/ihtsbih-predictions/
So it's literally his job to say good things about the movie. How is he at all a credible source? What do you expect him to say, "The movie was a total piece of shit"?
I think the funny part is that TDG isn't really a guy at all.
"http://charliehoehn.com/2008/12/22/ihtsbih-predictions/
So it's literally his job to say good things about the movie. How is he at all a credible source? What do you expect him to say, "The movie was a total piece of shit"?"
Yeah, I saw this guys site. And I called him out on all of it to which he said...
"I don't even have to respond to this blatant and obvious lies."
He is on Tuckers nuts, he's not a legit reviewer, check out his other reviews. Complete tool.
Comic-Con panels for next week. Saturday:
THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II
(Room 6DE, 3:30-4:30 PM)
Really? This is actually happening? The original movie barely got a theatrical release, and the documentary OVERNIGHT revealed why – success went instantly to director Troy Duffy’s head, and he vastly overrated his own importance, ultimately pissing off Harvey Weinstein and getting effectively blacklisted in Hollywood.
Yet BOONDOCK SAINTS merchandise continues to sell apace at Hot Topic, action figures are due this fall, and it seems there is finally a part two, with a trailer that will premiere here. Join Duffy along with stars Sean Patrick Flannery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr., and Julie Benz.
But who is distributing?
Are we talking about THEE Charlie Hoehn?
"Yet BOONDOCK SAINTS merchandise continues to sell apace at Hot Topic, action figures are due this fall, and it seems there is finally a part two, with a trailer that will premiere here. Join Duffy along with stars Sean Patrick Flannery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr., and Julie Benz."
I've always like Boondock Saints, a lot. But as you said, watch Overnight and it becomes apparent why Troy Duffy "Tucker Max Failed"
Yeah, ask the Duke Lacrosse boys how things stay secret?"
Considering how that whole thing was a pack of lies told by the stripper and unquestioningly trumpeted by the anti-white racist media and none of the lacrosse players were ever charged and the prosecutor who whipped the whole thing up was eventually debarred for misconduct, I think you could pick a better example.”
Well, it was an example that consistently poor judgment leads to big and public problems. If you recall, after that event, all the minor offense that some of the accused were involved in came out as well. The point is that the whole wild and crazy college life with no consequences is an overplayed cliché. Just because you are in college or grad school (or an athlete or fraternity member) doesn’t put you in a special cocoon where the laws of unintended consequences no longer exist. Drive your car into a building has consequences whether you are Joe Fraternity or Joe Sixpack (maybe even Joe the plumber). To my knowledge, Tucker doesn’t even have a DUI citation. . . . remarkable for a guy allegedly living so close to the edge for so long.
And no offense, but the anti-white racist media didn’t hold a gun to the head of a bunch of pampered privileged brats and make them hire strippers for entertainment. Criminals, no. Clueless poor little rich kids with no judgment, yes. Basically, these idiots were trying to emulate the whole drunken debauchery with no consequences that Tucker has been selling. And if you had a conversation with them beforehand and said, “OK, you are going to put ourselves in a vulnerable position with some street girls that literally have nothing to lose.” They would have responded, “What are you a fag, we’re Duke Lacrosse players, the king of the school, fuck off.” I will tell you, when I was in college, we didn’t need to hire pros to have fun.
Just so you guys know, The Tucker Coffin Tour starts in Portland August 11th and on to Seattle August 12th.
I've been a reader of this site for a while and currently live in Seattle, so I'll gladly go check out the theater beforehand and report back on the massive crowds rioting to pay $30 to see a bad indie movie that no one has even heard of.
Three weeks out for Seattle, and still no theater listed.
Great marketing plan.
Maybe I'll grab a cup of coffee across the street for an hour or so and try to catch some people walking out.
I'll report back, and anyone in Portland should do the same.
When asked why there is no marketing in place for a movie that opens in eight weeks Tucker Max said:
"Yes, I know we are not marketing this movie like other movies. We aren't pushing the trailer out six months ahead of time, we aren't blanketing the press with made up stories written by PR hacks, we aren't "leaking" photos or scenes to favored sites, we aren't doing ANY of the standard Hollywood bullshit marketing. And that is for a reason, something I have talked about multiple times:
We are marketing this movie under the assumption that it is a great product. When you have a great movie, the best thing to do is to limit the amount of time you spending marketing it, so you don't burn people out. When you have a great movie, you put the finished product in front of as many people as possible and then help them talk about it and tell their friends in every way they want possible, you don't try to trick them with false advertising. There is no better marketing or advertising or PR than great word of mouth, and great word of mouth ONLY comes from having a great movie and creating a great experience for the fans, and that's the only thing we are focused on doing.
The only reason you need to spend 80 million dollars on carpet bombing the public with bullshit for a year in advance is because the underlying product SUCKS (ahem, GI Joe), and you need to trick them into theaters. Let Hollywood spend months of effort and gobs of money trying to squeeze blood from rocks. Let Hollywood release all the cool parts of movie before it comes out to trick people into theaters, only to have then be disappointed when they see the actual movie. We don't need to do that, and we aren't going to be like that. We aren't going to fuck our fans.
We have a great movie, and the market for a great movie is always much larger than the supply. "
if you have ever been at a large college fraternity party you'd see that real life dwarfes any antic Max has written about.
I lived in a fraternity house for three years. Every house has a handful of guys with wild stories. The stories are amusing, and I'm sure everyone embellishes a bit. However, some of the fools (like Tucker) are actually delusional enough to start believing their own bullshit. I'm sure there are elements of truth in a couple of the earliest stories, but the rest (Absinthe Donuts, Anal, etc.) are transparent fabrications from the first sentence. I had a friend like that in the fraternity, who made up stories about wild sex and celebs that he hung out with during weekend parties. The stories were harmless name dropping exercises and wild sex episodes at first, but then the stories got wilder over time. He just couldn’t find a way to sustain our interest without resorting to obvious lies. You should keep that in mind when you read about Tucker’s purported sexual exploits with a midget.
Tucker is no different then most delusional bullshit artists, and that’s his downfall. A smart bullshit artist might tell a story to get a free drink, maybe loosen up a potential client in a bar or golf course. A delusional bullshit artist is like Tucker; they’re the ones who become defensive and controlling, as they carefully crafted image is at odds with who they really are. If Tucker was clever and self-aware, he could have used his bullshit stories within a movie (or book) to both entertain and show his own insecurities. People could have both laughed with Tucker, and laughed at Tucker. It’s too late for that now, as his inner demons have pretty much doomed him as a writer and entertainer.
THE DIARY OF TUCKER MAX
20th July, 2012
Today I will revolutionise the way that people purchase fries with their Big Macs. There is a paradigm shift taking place within the fast food retail industry. My employers at MacDonald’s don’t get it, so fuck them. Tucker Max Fries are MacDonald’s fries cooked in a revolutionary way, in a portable deep fat fryer, out in a parking lot behind the restaurant.
(At this point Tucker Max explains in laborious detail how to cook French Fries)
Instead of selling my Tucker Max Fries over the counter my plan is to distribute them independently around college campuses at $30 for a medium portion. I predict that by following this business model I will be a multi-millionaire by September.
I tell Marty - the 14 year old kid who I work with – about my plan, but he is dismissive. He says something about a guy called Troy Duffy who did a similar thing over at Burger King and ended up getting fired from his job. Now he works in quality control at the big condom factory testing the resistance of the latex to bite marks.
I am like: “Fuck you Marty, you’re banned from this branch of MacDonald’s.”
Marty replies:
“Dude I’m your manager you can’t ban me. Now go and fish that dead possum out of the toilets.”
Seattle Guy - I live in Seattle too. I cannot think of a venue actually within the city of Seattle that Tucker would be able to book on less than a months notice. Still, I'm excited to check out the carnage from across the street of whatever venue he eventually books. The way things are shaping up there may be a bigger crowd across the street from the theater than the one actually attending the amazingly fan-friendly $30 movie screening.
TDG - Kudos and props, please keep posting your witty & insightful deconstructions.
Cute Feminist - You are delightful, you should keep posting as well.
Last but certainly not least: Tucker fan / Tucker defender / Tucker - You should keep posting most of all! You are the greatest and best troll in all the vast recesses of the intarweb.
-gH0$t d0g
The 67 Day post is just the gift that keeps on giving. It is so delusional, it almost seems like something written by fake story guy, or someone on this website to embarrass Tucker. Please TDG, take it easy on this one or it will start to look like we are picking on a retard. Tucker's comments on marketing alone are manna from the gods of deconstructing artists.
"When you have a great movie, the best thing to do is to limit the amount of time you spending marketing it, so you don't burn people out."
Very zen. To market, you must not market. Marketing 101 for the clueless.
"We have a great movie, and the market for a great movie is always much larger than the supply."
-- I must have missed that when they put the Transformers Advertisement on the side of the Luxor Hotel (Pyramid) in Las Vegas.
That didn't influence me at all to see that movie generating hundreds of millions of dollars.
And since Hollywood has no idea what they are doing or the American Publics movie tastes it's obvious why that giant marketing campaign failed so woefully.
They've only been doing this for about 100 years, it's not like they've developed massive computer programs that perform millions of iterations, track consumers credit card spending habits, or get audience survey feedback on anything ranging from how important advertising is, to what makes them want to see a movie more than once.
Who is Tucker Kidding?
"so you don't burn people out."
Yeah...people get really tired of advertisements for great movies. I remember when I saw about a zillion advertisements for Batman how that ruined it, and I didn't want to see it at all.
"you don't try to trick them with false advertising."
Do you live in America Tucker? Jeez...in order to sell massive amounts of anything you have to get 300 million people with widely varying opinions to march in the same direction.
But what do I know, it's not like companies like MSFT, Apple, IBM (who all make pretty good products) do any advertising at all. They just let their great products speak for themselves.
"The only reason you need to spend 80 million dollars on carpet bombing the public with bullshit for a year in advance is because the underlying product SUCKS (ahem, GI Joe),"
Is he really this dumb? I can't believe this guy graduated from Chicago University. I simply cannot believe it. He knows nothing apparently about business at all.
For every example of massive advertising that failed for a bad product, I can give you an example of good and bad products that made it work for them.
Transformers is prime 1. It is the worst reviewed 400 million + dollar domestic Earner of ALL TIME.
Worse than Pirates: Dead Mans Chest, worse than The Phantom Menace.
It's got a 22% overall from Critics (and they are mainly right, it's a woeful movie in terms of judging what makes a movie). Something must have worked?
Terminator? That grossed over 100 million and was woeful.
How about good movies? When's the last time you saw one that did a lot of business that didn't use advertising on TV, previews, radio, toys?
I'm just baffled at Tuckers statements.
Especially in regards to movies which are so much different than "products" - If I have a good product, I can make it better, improve it, bring in more customers over time, etc.
Movies are nothing like that, you can't go back and make it better, once it's out there it is. And it's very, very hard for word of mouth to make a small movie into a big one. It can happen.
And you need to open big these days. Titanic and My Big Fat Greek are the only 2 movies I can think of in the last 15 years that didn't open huge that eventually got huge.
20th July, 2012
Marty replies:
“Dude I’m your manager you can’t ban me. Now go and fish that dead possum out of the toilets.”
__________________
I laughed at the whole story. But I liked this part the best.
The only place I could imagine him getting a theater in Seattle is somewhere on the University of Washington campus- but I seriously doubt it. With all our film snobs Seattle is a huge indie market, and the theaters here book months in advance.
Maybe Conference Room G of the Days Inn on Aurora Avenue- they can wheel in an 18" TV set on a cart, and Tucker can slip in the Betamax tape.
At least that way he can shovel in a bunch of prostitutes and homeless drug addicts so the theater looks full.
"When you have a great movie, the best thing to do is to limit the amount of time you spending marketing it, so you don't burn people out."
Very zen. To market, you must not market. Marketing 101 for the clueless.
_________
I tried to analyze his thoughts, but I almost got lost in his delusion.
I mean really, I was near baffled that he actually said some of this stuff. So much so I don't think my responses were particularly good because I'm not really mocking him.
It's like I'm trying to explain the purpose of a cup to a retard. (No offense to retards of course)
I mean, I thought he was delusional. But he's Arthur Kade delusional now. (And if Arthur Kade is in fact just a joke, that puts Tucker into new levels of douchebagery because we know he's real)
"It's like I'm trying to explain the purpose of a cup to a retard. (No offense to retards of course)"
People at my job are now staring at me as I laugh my ass off.
I try to explain why to them but they always end up saying "who the hell is Tucker Max."
"You guys have yet to see one single frame from of the movie and yet you seem to have all the answers."
The Distributors saw it and didn't buy it. They bought the Love Guru. Next question.
__________________________________
Funniest thing I read all day.
By the way, Seattle guys, please let us know what happens. I live outside of Austin, and may try to do the same when Fucker comes down here.
Word of mouth can be very powerful. If Tucker plays his cards right the college tour could payoff huge. Either way it's the first time I think something like this has been done
A good example of another film doing well without marketing would be the 2007 film "Once"
It was a foreign film, R-rated, and a musical that was made for $150,000. It opened in 10 theaters and eventually expanded to 150. No advertising or marketing.
Domestic: $9,439,923 + Foreign: $11,270,590 = Worldwide: $20,710,513
It won 14 prominent awards including an Oscar
This was all done by word of mouth. If the product is solid and doesn't insult fans then the marketing doesn't really matter one way or another.
Can't wait to see the Beer In Hell trailer.
Only one award nomination for "Beer in Hell"... Best Dog in Show.
Jerry Seinfeld did it his way. Barack Obama did it his way. Going against the grain shows genius. Ergo, Tucker is a genius.
Saving money on marketing is more cash in his pockets. Do you think he cares about your opinion. The artist would exist whether or not a fan is around to witness the hard work.
Tucker is a great writer.
^^^ "The artist would exist whether or not a fan blah blah blah"
You fuckstick. Everything Tucker does is designed to draw attention to himself because he's so mentally and emotionally broken that constant attention- good or bad- is the only thing that validates him. When are you fanboy-retards going to get that?
"Tucker is a great writer."
Tucker is a great writer like Jonas Brothers is a great band, like Transformers is a great movie, and like 'Yes, Dear' was a great television show. They're all popular specimens in their respective media; that doesn't make them great.
Fuckstick yourself.... Don't bring Yes Dear into this... I liked that show.
Maybe we "fanboys" are the only ones who get it. Maybe the rest of you are just too dense to appreciate the atypical beauty of Tucker's work. Maybe you are jealous of a man who gets through life with no consequences for his actions.
Tucker has friends, family, money, and a career beyond definition.
He is a winner and that makes most of you...losers.
"Maybe we 'fanboys' are the only ones who get it. Maybe the rest of you are just too dense to appreciate the atypical beauty of Tucker's work."
That's a possibility, but it's equally possible that you 'fanboys' are the ones who DON'T get it, which would make you giant fools for buying into Tucker's insubstantial 'work.' To that end, I'd be interested in hearing your ideas about what makes a work beautiful, and how Tucker's 'work' qualifies.
"Maybe you are jealous of a man who gets through life with no consequences for his actions."
If Tucker's figured out a way to get through life with no consequences for his actions, then he's the first human being in history to do so. There are ALWAYS consequences for actions, and though they may be delayed, they ALWAYS come. Call it fate, or karma, or the whirlwind... call it whatever you like. Tucker will get his.
"Tucker has friends, family, money, and a career beyond definition."
Family? Where is Tucker's family? Are you talking about his philandering, self-absorbed father- the one who did such a great job of instilling integrity and social responsibility into his son? Are you talking about his mother- the one who gave him such a profound sense of respect for the fairer sex? Is this the family of which you speak?
Friends? TheBunny is his best friend, and a more well-adjusted, healthy person I've never known. Sure, Tucker has friends... everyone likes the sideshow freaks.
Money? Let's be generous and say Tucker's sold a million books and made a buck off each one. That means he's made a million bucks in a little under three-and-a-half years. Not bad. He probably also pocketed somewhere between $250,000 and $500,000 of the movie budget. Again, not bad. Not mind-blowing, but solid. I guess.
As for 'a career beyond definition', we definitely have to agree on that point. I know I can't define what Tucker's career is. Writer? Not so much? Movie producer? Not according to the crew-people who've posted here. Blogger? Yeah, there's a winning career path.
"He is a winner and that makes most of you...losers."
No. What he is, is an exhibitionist who achieved marginal fame through a medium- the internet- that is like public access television,in that ANYONE can have a voice on it, so long as they invest a little money and time. We're just now emerging from the 'wild-west' years of the internet, and it's only been in the last few years that internet-consumers are finally savvy enough to refine their consumption. Guess what? Tucker's hits are down, and NOBODY'S TALKING ABOUT HIM EXCEPT HIM (and us, but we do not matter in the grand scheme of things).
So let me leave you with this, fanboy: you tell me what lasting value Tucker's work has, and I'll try to listen objectively. honestly. Tell me what timeless qualities his 'art' (that poor little AIDS-baby) possesses. Tell me that future generations will be able to relate to Tucker's discussions of McGriddles and In-N-Out burgers and portable breathalyzers.
you can't see the forest for the trees, and that's why you're a Tucker fanboy. That's why we hate.
"People at my job are now staring at me as I laugh my ass off.
I try to explain why to them but they always end up saying "who the hell is Tucker Max."
I mean, I was staring in disbelief at what Tucker was saying about marketing.
I just can't believe he went to University of Chicago and does not get this. He is really that insane, delusional, etc.
I'm concerned about feeding the trolls. What if they have communicable diseases? Are you taking proper precautions before interaction?
"A good example of another film doing well without marketing would be the 2007 film "Once"
It was a foreign film, R-rated, and a musical that was made for $150,000. It opened in 10 theaters and eventually expanded to 150. No advertising or marketing.
Domestic: $9,439,923 + Foreign: $11,270,590 = Worldwide: $20,710,513
It won 14 prominent awards including an Oscar
This was all done by word of mouth. If the product is solid and doesn't insult fans then the marketing doesn't really matter one way or another."
1. It wasn't a musical. A musical is a movie that is done in song. This was a movie about making music. Big, big difference. Mamma Mia! Is a musical.
2. Have you heard the music on that movie? It's great. The music alone sold the movie like selling a CD.
3. IHTSBIH has no foreign distribution at all.
4. They spent 6-10 million to make this movie...the one your exampling spent 150k. At least they know how to stretch a budget.
I do agree. Word of mouth is powerful. But I think if the general public gets one look at this they say..."This isn't near as funny as The Hangover"
"Tucker has friends, family, money, and a career beyond definition."
I hate feeding the fire. But we've already established that exactly 0 of Tuckers lawschool friends are still posting.
Beyond that, 0 original members of the TMMB scene still post. Since Tucker spends around 20 hours a day online and no one in the online world will befriend him, he has 0 friends.
Family? Like who? Daddy Max?
Money? Is this why he drives a Chevy Malibu?
This sounds like Aurthur Kade style self promoting. "I'm such an Amazing Writer, I'm Tucker Max."
I'm all for bashing Tuckster about his movie, site, lifestyle, etc but I think family should be out of bounds. He can't help that he has a super shitty lineage.... Only choices after birth are his fault.
I posted on his board off and on for six years and I think there's plenty of other shit we can discuss.
Let's talk about how pathetic it is that he cares enough about what we say to come here and
Tucker just confirmed the slow roll-out plan for his movie!
From RMMB
"Like I have said, oh about 10 times--it could be as few as 400 or as many as 1200, depending a few factors. And like I have also said numerous times, as long as you live in one of the main 25 markets or in a college town, it'll open near you the first weekend, and if not, then during the second week expansion.
"Like I have said, oh about 10 times--it could be as few as 400 or as many as 1200, depending a few factors. And like I have also said numerous times, as long as you live in one of the main 25 markets or in a college town, it'll open near you the first weekend, and if not, then during the second week expansion."
That's funny because Free Style doesn't have access to that many screens.
"you don't try to trick them with false advertising."
-Tucker Max
If this isn't one of the most ironic statements of all time, I don't know what is.
One thing people have somewhat touched on, but haven't discussed in detail, is that Tucker is clearly writing his "blog" entries as a way to create hype - in other words, he is clearly hoping the distribution people are reading his blog and thinking "oh man, I better buy that movie before it's too late."
Sure, some of his posts are/were designed to get the fanboys excited about the movie, but other posts were clearly attempts at self-promotion in order to land a distribution deal. For example, Tucker previously wrote about how he was in talks with multiple distribution companies.
Why write that? To create a false sense of demand. Unfortunately for Tucker, the few distribution people that actually saw the movie also saw beyond his silly tactics...because once they viewed the actual movie, they realized that his movie was not all it was cracked up to be.
Well said, 6:05.
I also have to admit that I'm pretty disappointed by the way Tucker's movie played out, because I was (previously) looking very forward to the movie. Call me a sucker for his bullshit antics and promotions, but I thought some of his stories were hilarious, so for awhile, I actually thought he was going to put out a good movie. And then I read a couple versions of the script and was disappointed...and then we've learned that Tucker couldn't get distribution, and I got even more disappointed...and now at this point, I really have no desire to see the movie anymore.
You can make fun of guys like Charlie Hoehn all you want. The guy has 23 years experience in marketing so maybe he knows what he's talking about.
Forget what I wrote about Charlie Hoehn. I misread his bio. He's 23 years old.
From rmmb,
"Quote:
Originally Posted by Tucker Max:
Maybe now in your infinite wisdom bore of nothing but baseless assumptions, you can tell us why we SHOULD be there (there being Comic-con, which hosts fantasy novels, movies etc).
Jojo:
Ahem ... your post did say fantasy novels, right?"
BWAHAHAHAHA!
"The guy has 23 years experience in marketing so maybe he knows what he's talking about."
So funny.
I just can't imagine anyone but the few remaining die-hards (and how many of them are there- 500-1000, maybe?) paying $30 in this economy to see a movie that they could see for $10 in a few weeks.
Fake Story Guy, I'm eagerly waiting the next installment. You might be my favorite person here.
forgot to link
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=27289
Jojo is pretty consistently there to make fun of Tucker. He typically doesn't even respond to when Jojo says something like that. I live in Chicago, I'd love to hear what this guy has to say. He's still posting though, he must get SOMETHING out of it.
Tucker edits JoJo just like he edits everyone else on the boards. MANY conversations (spats) between them have been deleted over the last few years at least.
JoJo is a super intelligent and overtly stable individual. He never really rode the ho-train that trailed off of the board around ''04 - ''05... I think he was there out of curiosity.
I LOVE it when JoJo calls out Tucker. That's why I spent so much time there over the years. It's a better case study than an internship on a locked psych ward.
"A good example of another film doing well without marketing would be the 2007 film "Once"
It was a foreign film, R-rated, and a musical that was made for $150,000. It opened in 10 theaters and eventually expanded to 150. No advertising or marketing."
Once was shopped to festivals extensively, which is the typical way an indie breaks out. It secured spots at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival and the Dublin Film Festival and received the audience awards at both events.Fox Searchlight picked it up for distribution and gave it very good P & A. This movie has nothing to do with Tucker's vanity project. Like Uwe Boll's films, it is being distributed by Freestyle and marketed only by its own brainchild.
From Wikipedia:
"Narcissistic Personality Disorder
DSM IV-TR criteria
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:[1]
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love (megalomania)
3. Believes they are "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, people (or institutions) who are also "special" or of high status
4. Requires excessive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement
6. Is interpersonally exploitative
7. Lacks empathy
8. Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Hypothetical causes
The etiology of this disorder is unknown, according to Groopman and Cooper. However, they list the following factors identified by various researchers as possible factors.[3]
* An oversensitive temperament at birth
* Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents
* Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem
* Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback
* Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents
* Severe emotional abuse in childhood
* Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or talents by adults
* Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for poor behaviors in childhood"
Tucker Max, in need of intensive cognitive therapy, without a doubt. Let's try not to be cruel. No one wants Tucker to suicide; the last thing the intarwebs need is another lawsuit blaming the anon-idiots of the world for the downfall of civilization.
Individuals with Cluster B personality disorders are the WORST patients to treat for most professionals and have the LEAST success with treatment. Many experts even suggest that the family learn how to change to better react to the patient than that the patient expect to be able to change.
So, everyone, let's support Tucker in his endeavors. Are you able to wrap your mind around the good kharma that could come your way if you said one nice thing to Tucker each day. If you modeled positive behavior and the love and support, unconditional of course, that he craves.
We could change Tucker Max. We could prove the experts to be incorrect in their assumptions about Cluster B's!!! We could make T into the man Bunny wants to marry. I'll start...
Tucker, what you don't realize about yourself is that your most interesting story is the one you have yet to tell. You have struggled against the world as a singular unit and that's not easy. We are here for you big T... let it out.
See, easy peasy!!! Now, you go...
Let's have a writing prompt...
"At what moment did you know the movie was destined to Tucker Max Fail?"
I was still visiting the boards when filming started. I had taken off the previous six months or so but decided to check back in to follow the drama.
I had my first cringe of prophetic nausea when Tucker went on and on and on about how Matt Czusjklkdfjklsa wanted to get to know him and be his friend.
I mean, you guys just don't understand, he really liked Tucker and he was really interested in everything about his life. Really? They were like best friends and Matt was just so kind and interested.
Of course, all of the cast wanted to be best friends with Tucker, but Matt was the first one to really click with Tucker on that personal level. Really, guys, really.
I'm too lazy to search for the original postings but it was similar to the above... I think. It stood out to me because even though I'm farther from Hollywood than a swamp in South Georgia, I knew that dear Matt was likely just trying to find out information to better portray Tucker on screen.
Tucker totally misreads people. I think that's his greatest single flaw. He perceives threat where there is none, lust where there is love, and sincerity where there is mockery. If he was smarter, I'd joke that he has Asperger's... but let's face it, he's not that bright.
Wow, some lengthy posts showing up here...
Someone's cable out tonight?
"Jerry Seinfeld did it his way. Barack Obama did it his way. Going against the grain shows genius. Ergo, Tucker is a genius."
Are Uwe Boll, Ed Wood, and Ted Kazinski geniuses as well? Is everybody who goes against the grain a genius? Jerry Seinfeld worked his butt off in every comedy club in the US before he hit it big. And did it with the help of Larry David who spent decades on the circuit and a season or two at SNL. Explain to me where Jerry just wrote a few dick and poopie stories on the net before NBC gave him a show. Barack Obama was elected in Chicago and as a senator. He paid his dues.
"Saving money on marketing is more cash in his pockets."
When you have a product that needs to be marketed, and movies are all about marketing--you have to spend money to make money.
"Do you think he cares about your opinion."
Sure. But more importantly, the opinions of the distributors who didn't buy his film are more important to him.
"The artist would exist whether or not a fan is around to witness the hard work."
Another baby died of Aids. If Uwe Boll is an artist, then I geuss Tucker's movie qualifies. Hard work. Look at the IMDB of the director of the film Once, which was cited as a surprise success. Many years working as a TV director before hitting it big. Tucker has been a moderately succesful blogger. If he had shut his mouth and worked with the pros at Comedy Central when he had a chance, and learned something, then maybe, he could have made a respectable movie.
"Tucker is a great writer."
Yes, we will have to put the midget story up there with "For Whom the Bell Tolls."
Does anyone else find this painfully bad? I feel like i'm taking crazy pills.
INT. LAW SCHOOL CLASSROOM - A
LITTLE LATER
Jeff and Tucker are next to each other in an auditorium style
class. Everyone has laptops open in front of them.
TUCKER
I almost shit myself when those
cops busted in. I thought she set
me up or something.
JEFF
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna
do, whatcha gonna do when you’re
fucking a deaf girl and the cops
come for you?
The professor is perturbed with the talking in the back.
PROFESSOR
Mr. Max. What is your take on this
issue?
TUCKER
I’m sorry, what issue is that?
PROFESSOR
Are you not paying attention Mr.
Max?
TUCKER
I wasn’t, I apologize, I was busy
talking about having sex with a
deaf girl.
The class laughs.
PROFESSOR
Charming...and oddly appropriate.
Do you or do you not feel that
Little People should be a protected
class?
TUCKER
You mean midgets?
PROFESSOR
Yes, Mr. Max, if you must, midgets.
Do you think they should be
protected?
TUCKER
What are we protecting them from,
eagles and poachers and stuff? Like an endangered species? The class erupts again.
JEFF
Poachers?
TUCKER
It could happen. You know if Kanye
showed up to a club in a midget
stoll, they’d be extinct in a week.
PROFESSOR
Mr. Max if you didn’t do the
reading, then...
TUCKER
No, I don't think midgets should be
considered a protected class for
the purposes of employment
discrimination law. I think their
physical limitations put them
squarely within the business
necessity and reasonable
accommodation defenses of the
Americans with Disabilities Act.
PROFESSOR
Where do you draw the line then?
TUCKER
I’m not sure. I figure it’s like
riding a roller coaster. You must
be this high to get ADA protection.
Tucker puts his hand at chest level and the class laughs.
PROFESSOR
Very funny, Mr. Max. What if I told
you that I just finished a pro bono
case involving a gentleman's club
that terminated the employment of a
dancer with dwarfism because she--
Tucker lurches forward in his seat.
TUCKER
You represented a midget stripper?
PROFESSOR
They prefer the term ‘Little Person’.
TUCKER
Was she fired?
PROFESSOR
No, they gave her her job back.
Tucker has that mischievous twinkle in his eye.
TUCKER
What club was it?
PROFESSOR
Mr. Max, if you’re genuinely
interested in the case, come to
office hours and I’ll fill you in.
Until then let’s remember this is a
constitutional law class, not Adult
Friend Finder.
TUCKER
Touche! I will shut up now.
Aside to Jeff, as Professor drones on about the case.
TUCKER (CONT’D)
So, you ready for your bachelor
party tonight?
JEFF
Locked and loaded.
TUCKER
I’m gonna go get Aaron, meet us at
the campus bar after class.
Tucker closes his laptop as we go to black.
Actually, I like that scene. I would laugh if I saw that on film. If that's the worst of it... maybe it's not going to be as horrible as I'm thinking...
PS, I'm not a troll, fan boy, etc... I'm one of the haterz who post here regularly. I'm such a hater, I haven't dared read any of the leaked script stuff. So, this is my first exposure.
Serious question... is this really the worst?
It wasn't exactly a quote from "Gone With the Wind" but it's better than some shit I've wasted my money to see.
"Serious question... is this really the worst? "
The Love Guru
9:29, you sure sound like a Tucker Mod using kinder, gentler but still unpersuasive tactics to win over the folks who may be influenced by the "haterz" (some on this board may be "haterz" with an axe to grind, but most of us are simply regular, reasonable people who happens to have opinions that represent the vast, vast majority of non-moderated opinions about our favorite misogynistic narcissist and sociopath).
Back to the script (which I have read, and it is as bad as you could imagine). Not only are all the jokes terribly unoriginal, adding nothing to the genre, but Tucker's bag of tricks is limited one-note humor geared toward the lowest common denominator mixed with faux intellectual dialogue destined to turn off those very same people.
If you find it tolerable, you have very low standards.
Even worse, Tucker and his rotund donkey-faced hack of a sidekick have no idea how to write for dialogue on screen; pacing, etc.
For example, pretend you are Jeff, and try to say the "bad boys" line out loud and make it sound funny.
Exactly. Now get back to work looking for a job, Tando!
Or if you are really interested, google Cecilia the scriptreader's take: http://filmindustrybloggers.com/thescriptreader/2008/07/29/the-tucker-max-movie-idiots-delight/
~ FDG
I'm @9:29 and I was just using the term "haterz" to be a smartass. I'm not Tando... nor am I any other mod.
While I don't have an axe to grind, I don't care for Tucker either... so I wasn't trying to manipulate anyone. I'm just a kind and gentle person. Those do exist!!
As for my standards... I am easily amused. I will watch anything that will make me laugh. I'm 30 and I watched America's Funniest Home Videos last night and laughed my ass off. It doesn't take much.
Still, I was expecting far worse than the quoted scene. I was anticipating crap bordering on... well, I can't even think of something as horrid as what I imagined.
I agree with the link you sent. This is just one scene and I'd expect more from a feature. I'd want some sort of development and progression. You know, all the things Tucker has failed to do in his real life come to fruition on the screen.
Maybe he could write sketch comedy. Short little tidbits... maybe that's his deal. He blows his wad in a three joke exchange and that's where he should leave it.
Seriously, though, please don't call me a Tucker-ite again. That made my soul ouch.
No prob, 9:29. Having sat through many classes with Tucker, there are three more instances of the class laughing with him in that (hackneyed and completely unrealistic law school) scene than what happened in three years of law school. In law school, there were mostly sideways glances and eye rolls.
Also, there is a difference between being easily amused (I qualify as well) and being willing to be manipulated into paying $30 for two hours of marginal entertainment to support a hack who has contempt for his fans and the concept of art, which is mostly what we are discussing here. Of course, I am preaching to the converted because nobody could make it through five posts on this board and still consider himself or herself a potential victim of Tucky's greed!
Ha, yeah, I have never had any interest in paying $6.50 to see the film... much less $30.00 to sit among a group of his peers.
I'm sorry you had class with him. We might know some of the same people. I dated a guy who went to law school with him too.
I started dating the guy about 10 months after I found Tucker's site and we only talked about it once. The one time I asked if he knew him, he said, "Oh yes, Mr. Max, we all know of him but no one wastes time acknowledging it."
I was into the guy so I didn't want him to think I was a loser for visiting the site. In my defense, it was early 2004, so it was a total crime against humanity to participate at that time.
I feel sorry for Tucker; in all honesty. I would feel sorry for anyone who was so clueless that they isolated themselves from everyone. Something really crappy must have happened to him to make him devalue every relationship in his life.
I just don't see how this can end well for the fella and I'm an eternal optimist.
This can end well for Tucker, Duke Law Girlfriend ("DLG" if you want to keep posting under a moniker, like all of the cool kids on the TMMB). In fact, we should help him.
Tucker deserves a legacy, and that legacy should be widespread introduction of the phrase "Tucker Max Fail" so that it is cemented as the next great internet meme. Rickrolls and Lolcats will have nothing on this phrase.
It should become so entrenched that Troy Duffy will whine about how if he were only born ten years later, he could have enjoyed the same sort of Q list celebrity in the aftermath of his own self-destruction and disintegration into e-irrelevancy.
Either that or somebody imprint Tucker's face on the keyboard cat.
~ FDG
^ So... are you a chick, or are you gay?
^^ This comment is for 7/20/2009 10:43 PM, not for FDG, obviously.
Aww, thanks for the nickname FDG but I doubt I'll post very often. I'm a chick; by the way. Looks like there are at least a few of us around these parts. Girl power unite or something.
The Tucker Max Fail (TMF) does sound like a meme for the hall of fame... it just has a ring to it.
As for Tucker sliding face first toward destruction, I don't know that I would find any joy in that scene. I'm happiest when he's being called out by people and he's oblivious to it. I don't want anyone to get hurt in an irreparable way.
At the same time, I damned sure don't want anything he does to be a raging success. The last thing he needs is reinforcement for his mega dumbassery. I wish someone had the balls to just knock him down a few pegs instead of kissing his ass on the off chance that they might make a few dollars off of his arrogant ignorance.
I think I'm just too tender hearted for total destruction scenarios. I mean, realistically, it seems like he's already there. If his movie isn't getting distribution and his friends have pretty much stepped out of his life, then that's pretty much a bottom kind of place.
In closing, one way I'm comfortable being cruel is to point out that I don't think Tucker is anything more than slightly above average intelligence. I'd guesstimate his IQ around 120'ish. Maybe I'm wrong and his brilliance is clouded by his personality disorder, but I seriously have a pet peeve with the fact that some people believe he is smart.
There's a huge difference between occasional high achiever and actually being highly intelligent. I don't think he knows he's not smart though... I think he truly believes that the only reason he wasn't a top scholar is because he was lazy. It's my experience, however, that a lot of people self-sabotage so they can have control over their failure instead of leaving it to its inevitable conclusion.
Ok, sleepy eyes now. I agree with the poster up there that wants him to get help for his illness. I think that's the best option at this point... even if that person was being a smartass about supporting Tucker, I hope that his friends are at least stepping up to be there when this movie stinks up the universe in a way that makes T4's stupid plot look Oscar-worthy.
@9:29:
The reason that scene was picked is that it shows that the script is Tucker's Mary-Sue--the Tucker character is how Tucker would like to be, and this comes across with a particularly naked obviousness.
It's not nearly the worst scene, though. The opening scene is pretty terrible; it culminates in "Don't Tase me, bro!", which is like a movie released in 1987 where the big joke is "Where's the beef?!"
Hey, I'm the guy who posted the law classroom scene.
"For example, pretend you are Jeff, and try to say the "bad boys" line out loud and make it sound funny."
Exactly.
No, this is not the worst scene. It's just an example of how jerky and unnatural the dialogue is. If the actors aren't terrific this is going to be unwatchable. It's like
Tucker jammed every crappy "joke" done in this last 20 years into his script.
ONE MORE NOTE: PLAGARIZING THE SIMPSONS DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE WIT!
Amazon guy,
That is interesting, i had no idea amazon hosted 3rd party sites.
Do any other hack-douchebag 'artists' (lol) hawking their cheesy wares have the same corrupt arrangement as our 'Mr Buft-thecths'???
btw,
webiteoutlook.coms' Faq answers how they obtain their data (alexa, + estimates, + "a formula" for page views, ad revenue etc).
The douche makes approx $62,800 from ads per annum according to them.
Just to compare that,
Scott Adams, a crappy cartoonist who does Dilbert.com has an estimated daily ad income off approx $555, and has several times the number of page views of tugger, as well as being 15 THOUSAND places higher on alexa rankings.
His ISP however is 'Cox communications' which appears a bog standard service provider.
im just wondering if this means tucker and amazon are in business together, like to keep the book selling or whatever. its pretty suspicious.
good find,amazon guy!
Someone needs to tell me how to make a site that pays a few hundred or more a day.
Handicap: I stay clothed... I'm a respectable chick
"Forget what I wrote about Charlie Hoehn. I misread his bio. He's 23 years old."
Gee...you mean he's getting paid by Tucker to help with marketing, he's 23, and he thinks the movie will be awesome?
Well, I'm sold!
"Does anyone else find this painfully bad? I feel like i'm taking crazy pills."
Yeah...just like his stories. The reinforcing audience laughter, forced dialogue, etc.
I cringed when I read Jeffs "Bad Boys" lines...is that for real? That's embarassing.
"The douche makes approx $62,800 from ads per annum according to them."
That sounds correct, I think myself and others estimated the income to be around that based on the site traffic.
"Scott Adams, a crappy cartoonist who does Dilbert.com"
Hey now...us engineers like that comic strip.
Not to mention he's published in the "funnies" in just about every newspaper in the country.
Wrote 2 Best Selling New York Times books, that have sold millions of copies.
Had a TV show for Dilbert that ran for 1 season on Comedy Central.
And he's actually funnier than Tucker (when it comes to the office life, which most office workers relate to)
____________
Someone was mentioning 800,000 copies sold for IHTSBIH, the common figure I have seen is 400,000, sometimes 500,000.
On the wiki page one reference says the book sold about 70,000 copies in the first year in 2006.
And someone also mentioned him getting paid for making the movie? I don't see it. Especially with investors, they are last money in, first money out in those deals.
He might have paid himself as "writer/producer" but at a 6 million budget, I'm sure he wasn't higher paid than the actors.
I think a figure 250-500k was thrown out? I don't see it. Jesse and Geoff probably cost that much because 1s been in name films and lead actor before, the other in long running TV series. But no way he get's as much for writer.
Remember they never sold the script, so they had to go get investors to get the movie made.
Hmm 60K, not really enough scratch to have a lot of hijinks-y, debauched, adventures. Is it Otto?
"Does anyone else find this painfully bad? I feel like i'm taking crazy pills."
Yeah...just like his stories. The reinforcing audience laughter, forced dialogue, etc.
I cringed when I read Jeffs "Bad Boys" lines...is that for real? That's embarassing."
It's almost like the script for Delta Farce. What worked for these guys (LTCG, Bill Engvall, DJ Qualls) in a 5-30 minute stand up set; (and worked well in front of their fans)just doesn't work on a feature movie. Tucker thinks that what worked with his buddies while playing play station in front of the TV can make a full movie. It doesn't. The script is not even as funny as the stuff folks have been posting on line.
In order to be funny. The humor has to be self deprecating. In order for this to work, the professor has to be an arrogant tool; and Tucker's humor exposes his arrogance. Or, Tucker is an arrogant fool, and the professor has some fun at his expense.
Like all of Tucker's stories, the professor is just a prop to have Tucker be the wittiest and funniest guy in the room. Tucker basically just doesn't understand the whole idea of humor.
As someone pointed out, the only marginal successful comedy where the "hero" was a slick clown who got by at everyone else's expense was Ferris Beuler. But there was a good foil, the overzealous Vice Principal; and the only real victim was the father whose ferrari was trashed; and we can justify that because we believe that the dad cared more about his toys, objects, and image,; then the pain of his own son. The more common comedy is the underdog comedy.
Here, what has the law professor or the class done to have to deal with Tucker's antics? Is he arrogant? It's jokes a sight gags in search of a story; rather than the opposite.
"Hmm 60K, not really enough scratch to have a lot of hijinks-y, debauched, adventures. Is it Otto?"
Definitely not in LA, where everything costs way too much. No wonder he has roomates.
I think the $200 per day figure is a guestimate on the high side. I suspect the formula they use hasn't been updated to reflect the weakening market for advertising (it's the economy) and particularly for web-based advertising. Tucker's audience is neither appealing nor difficult to target using other sites. A general purpose and possibly dated algorithm used by websiteoutlook.com wouldn't take that into account.
I haven't been to the various crap site properties of Rudius or even TMMB in ages. If Tucker is still relying on fake absinthe ads and other shallow-pocketed sponsors, then he is definitely making far less than $200 per day.
If you notice - a majority of that traffic goes straight to the message board, bypassing tuckermax.com altogether.
The latest thread on the movie board (67 days or whatever) is hilarious. Bunny posts a story that is so obviously made-up that *two* people call her out (extremely politely). I'm surprised they haven't been FYB'd yet. Of course, some cocksucking fanboy steps in to the rescue.
The posts are still up there for now if you want to read them.
"Someone needs to tell me how to make a site that pays a few hundred or more a day.
Handicap: I stay clothed... I'm a respectable chick"
Well shucks 'n darnit. Lemme think about this some more.
Ok, here's a start: be successful and well-known at whatever it is you do in real life. Then, make a website to support that business. Your day job gets a bit of a bonus from the various things an online presence can do; but as a percentage of overall income, it's marginal. Can't be anything but.
Now, the way we apply this to Tucker's situation is
uh
...
um
Oh, hey, look at that over there!
I will bet anyone here one TRILLION dollars that Tucker doesn't see more than four-to-five hundred dollars a month from his website ads. If that.
He has the same people, a few thousand at that, comeing back to his site seeing the same ads everytime. Ad companies track IP addresses and know how many unique visitors are coming and when. He has d-level ads -- no prominent companies, advertisers. If you didn't click on the 'Why so Syria' TEE-SHIRT the first time, ahhhhh. Whatever.
60k? I have a bridge I'd like to sell ya.
"I will bet anyone here one TRILLION dollars"
Goldman Sachs employee spotted
The board is banning people right and left.
They should be banning people right and left. There are newbie trolls appearing, some of which are probably previously banned members using a proxy server; others are probably stragglers from IMDB that are going to screw with the mods for the hell of it (a reverse wahoo). When the Tucker bus tour begins, they'll rip Tucker, his movie, and the message board to shreds. Imagine new lurkers showing up to see the "FUCK YOU, BANNED!!!" messages.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Tucker-Max-The-Movie-A-Huge-Failure-In-The-Making
Nice article, totally shreds Tucker.
Tucker's latest rant against the "haterz" is hilarious. I'll let TDG handle it, but it basically comes down to the usual: 1) They're jealous! and 2) They're doing my work for me!!!
The argument that the "haterz" spend too much time TAT is dead. Just look at how much time he spends thinking about the haterz.
Friends, friends, friends. We're all friends here, right? Now, friends, I ask you. Why all the hate? Why all the negativity? Why the vicious attacks upon this poor, earnest young man, striving his best to be all he can be? Friends, is this any way to treat a fellow human being - and a friend? For Tucker is a friend of ours too, even if we daren't admit it to ourselves. Now, friends - there is no shame in forgiveness, no fault in human frailty! Look upon his face, friends! Is this not a human face? Is his pale complexion not pitiable? Do his heavily-lidded eyes not weep? Is his pudgy flesh not streaked with sweat? Are his living conditions not redolent of ungathered dog excrement, soiled masturbatory cloths, and rotten hamburgers left lying behind the couch? Friends! It is in our power to save this man! It is in our power to save him and raise him up to the proper status of friendship, that he may look to a bright future with us all! Friends! I call upon you, generous and good as you are, stretch forth your hands of friendship, and let flow your divine powers of goodness and joy! Yes, friends, YOU can save this man! For only a small donation - $20 or more, in cash, mailed to the address below, the eternal satisfaction of knowing yourself to be a good person and a true friend SHALL BE YOURS forevermore!
The Tucker Max Salvation Fund
P.o. Box 1386
East Bumphoque, W.VA
Please, friends, act now. You're so rich, and I'm, I mean he's, so poor. So very, very poor. Out of the goodness of your hearts, friends: give. Give generously.
"Please, friends, act now. You're so rich, and I'm, I mean he's, so poor. So very, very poor. Out of the goodness of your hearts, friends: give. Give generously."
Now that's some funny shit.
Begging guy,
You can BOTH fuck off
Earlier Anon is right.
I would guarantee you guys Tucker makes a maximum of $500 a month off advertising on his site, if that.
Internet advertising isn't what it used to be.
"You can BOTH fuck off"
Yes sir! Yes sir! The Tucker Max Salvation Fund has product plans for all service levels of customers! Our "both fuck off" plan comes in three installments at $15 each, or one lump sum of $40 - that's a whopping five-dollar savings, gents! You can't get deals like that anywhere anymore! Hurry up and take advantage of it quick before we change our minds! Send in your money now!
I'm sorry I don't give to charities (one of the reasons I wont be paying to see IHTSBIH!), I find it distasteful.
Especially when the recipients are douche-nozzles.
"I'm sorry I don't give to charities (one of the reasons I wont be paying to see IHTSBIH!), I find it distasteful."
Yes, yes, very sorry, very sorry indeed it is that you don't give to charities. BUT NOT TO WORRY! The Tucker Max Salvation Fund also offers a fully staffed professional investment department to help YOU place your money advantageously in these trying times! Just speak to one of our helpful and friendly representatives, and YOU TOO will be on your way to making FORTUNES on the stock market! Call 1-900-TUKRMAX to speak to a customer service investment professional NOW! CALL NOW! CALL NOW! The stock market waits for no man, and stock prices always go up long term! You'll want to get in on the ground floor of this HISTORIC MONEY-MAKING OPPORTUNITY, courtesy of the legendary TUCKER MAX!
Certain per-minute telephone charges may apply.
seriously, how sad is it that I can come up with these at least vaguely reasonable scams in between moments of frustration with work, and the best he can do is "Rudius Air"?
anyway
here we go
again
SNYPE
Apparently here is the complete post from Tucker:
"That's been one of the funniest aspects of this process for me, is watching those people like you who are so obsessed with hating me that they literally spend more time reading about me than any fan does, try to deal with each step.
I mean, remember when I announced the movie early last year, and because the trades didn't write about it, you all went nuts with ridiculous claims about me lying and it all being a charade...and look what happened, we attached a director and actors right away. Or remember when I announced that we were financed, and it didn't run in the trades for like two weeks, and you went nuts claiming it was all *beep* look what happened, we got the finance deal of the centruy. And remember when that failed writer claimed to have read the script and hated it, and they went nuts celebrating...and looked what happened, we are being mentioned as potential Oscar nominees. And remember when the distribution deal took a few weeks longer to close than I thought it would, and they went nuts, and look what happened...we not only got distribution, we got an AMAZING deal.
And after each one of these steps, they just ignore all the predictions and proclamations they had made perviously--because they are now obviously false--and they move their target to the next step. "Well, he may have got a deal, but whatever, anyone can do that--IT STILL WON'T BE IN THEATERS!, "Well, it may be going in theaters--BUT IT'LL STILL FAIL!!"
That to me is going to be the funniest part of all of this: Watching the haterz try to explain away the huge success of the movie. Because make no mistake, that success is coming, and irony of ironies, they are actually HELPING to make it happen. Their hatred is helping to create the situation they are most dreading: Me as massive star. I could easily temper expectations, but the slight overpromising that started by accident has continued on purpose. It has become so rewarding because it causes SUCH a reaction from the haterz. They go nuts. It's awesome to get such an intense emotional reaction from such a small thing as optimism and enthusiasm--you can't buy that sort of energy. That hatred drives them to do all kinds of stunts that they think hurt me, but actually help, and help immensely. IF you understand how media works at all, you understand why.
From a psychological standpoint, the behavior is also interesting for another reason. I mean, look at what they do: They don't care about the movie or anyone involved in it, they only care about it as an extension of their almost pathological hatred for me. It's basic psychology to understand that people do not hate things they don't care about, so that became the question for me--why do these people who don't know me care so much?
There are the ones who get banned from here or who I insult over email--they lose their *beep* and rage at me, but that only lasts a short while. They register 20 times, post insane rants against me (os sometimes SLF), or they post things about me on some other forum, but eventually the person moves onto some fresher anger in their lives, as I was just a passive focus for their rejection anger."
"But what about the ones who have been reading this message board for like, four or five or six or even seven years, not really posting, instead just silently hating, or just posting on one of the hate sites. The ones who claim to despise me, but when they write about me, they know every *beep* detail of everything I have ever written about, like, to a level of detail that is almost frightening? The ones who spend hours and hours on my hate sites, writing long diatribes against me or elaborate treatises trying to explain away my success, or lengthy logic chains trying to claim for some reason I am actually a failure. These are the ones that really interest me, because they expend so much of their time and effort hating on me--its like they are running a parallel life to mine, doing as much work as I am, but instead of accomplishing anything, it's all just hating me.
Why are some people like this? I do not know for sure, but here is what I can gather, after getting numerous emails from a few of them over the years:
This type is ALWAYS male, usually very close to my age. They are the type that see themselves just the way I see myself--except they aren't actually living that life. They aren't taking risks, they aren't living their dream, they aren't following their passion. They WANTED to that, but have done the opposite, they have accepted the safety of the system in exchange for it's security, and they did it because they convinced themselves there was no other way, that they were doing the right thing. And then I came along--the same age, same intelligence, same looks--and succeeded EXACTLY where they failed. Maybe they even saw my success and thought they could beat me and tried and failed--and they can't handle the fact. Instead of facing their own shortcomings, learning from them and moving on, they instead look to heal their ego by trying to "prove" I am not a success.
Seriously--go read any of the hater blogs, or some of the nutjobs who post on the IMDB forums or something. It's almost unbelievable the amount of effort they put out trying to "prove" something I have said about the movie is either untrue or doesn't matter, and they have been doing this for YEARS, and they are wrong EVERYTIME! Of course they ignore all the stuff that doesn't support their arguments--the book spending four years on the best seller list and coming up on a million copies sold, for example. Just look at the massive argument they are in over distribution, that sometimes finds its way over here--they are in a tizzy because I haven't announced who both of our distribution partners are or how many screens its going to be on. This is somehow proof that everything is a fraud!
AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA--The movie is done, it's going to be in theaters all over the country on September 25th, and that's it! It's over! But they're desperately struggling to hang on to anything that they can that will allow them to think I am a failure, so that they don't have to face the pain of their own existences, it's like...amazing.
They have put all of their sense of self into me failing--I don't know what they're going to do when the movie is a massive success, but I really can't wait to see it. They have invested so much emotional capital in my failure, when the opposite happens, at some point, the rubber will meet the road in their psyche, their cognitive dissonance is going to collapse, and they are going to lose it in a bad way.
THAT is going to be what's interesting. Not me failing. I have failed many times before, and I will fail many times in the future. I know how to deal with it, because my sense of self is not based out of individual projects: I process it, learn from it, and move on. I mean, if I fail at movies, no big deal, I can still write many more best sellers and do many other things. But what can someone who has based their sense of self on me not succeeding do when they can no longer construct elaborate arguments explaining away my success?"
Of course, Tucker pathologically exaggerates his finances (like everything else) as part of his con game, but he (along with everybody on his team) is probably pretty close to bankruptcy right now.
The rough evidence:
- He took nothing but points on the back end in order to get this movie made, and thus will never see a dime from any role in the movie, including writing the script (which not only makes sense given how similarly risky film projects are funded, but evidence on this point is out there based on what Tucker has written in the past).
- He leads an expensive lifestyle (constant travel, partying, living in major cities) that has probably cost him over $500K since leaving law school, and that is conservative
- His advance did not equal cash in his pocket (while he proclaimed it was $300,000, that was probably a lie, but at the very least it had significant strings attached, which Penguin has surely exercised given his failure to deliver a viable manuscript in 1-2 years - again, there are industry standard ways of dealing with this and evidence is out there)
- Even if he has pocketed some cash for Assholes Finish First, he will never see any more as demand for his next piece of writing has all but evaporated, and even with that cash his liabilities greatly exceed his assets right now
- He has probably made $200-300K on all revenue streams related to his book to date, which has been his only viable revenue stream in eight years since he left law school with debt that probably exceeded $100K plus interest, and can't be discharged in bankruptcy ($100K is conservative, since he spend 7 years at very expensive private universities - it might be triple that)
- His website has probably made an additional $100-200K in total, but remember that there are a few people on payroll at Team Rudius and have been for years, and this (along with some of his other revenue streams) is all divided amongst them and spread out over many years.
- His only other revenue stream (speaking) has resulted in revenues of about 50K-75K spread out over a few years (even most recently he commanded only 8K less expenses for his Ohio St speech)
- His last gasp hope for money via the IHTSBIH tour has a significant cost structure of at least 50K-75K that will not only eat up any earnings from the tour and more, but also cannibalize his weak expected revenue from theatres and DVD
Basically, his liabilities far exceed his assets right now even using rose colored glasses, and his future opportunities to make money in the entertainment industry have evaporated as the relevant doors have been slammed in his face.
Tucker and his crew (none of whom appear to have real income streams or have for years) have probably funded a good deal of their collective dream on credit cards.
Nils, Bunny, Ryan and anybody else who was once conned into thinking they could ride Tucker's coattails into a legitimate living has probably figured it out by now.
Has Tucker? Not sure, as he is basically holed up in his bunker like Hitler in March, 1945.
Happy destruction, Tucker!
I'd like TDGs comments on Tuckers latest haterz rant.
And yes, he has seen the IMDB board, he specifically commented on it.
So anyone bearing the argument..."You have no lives, you rag on this guy on the internet." - Yeah...but if he's so successful...why pay attention to message boards like IMDB?
Just to refresh everyones memory as its a new page,
"Anything The Hangover can do at the box office we can beat. Easily." Tucker Max, June 2009 THE HANGOVER box office as of 07/16/09 --- Domestic: $226,309,780 + Foreign: $74,700,000
Good work Tuck, attempting to simplify and demonize the enemy and rally your remaining five half-wit troops.
Unfortunately, most of your "haterz" are more amused at the entertainment value of your self-destruction than emotionally invested in your failure, and nobody is buying your blustery forcefulness to the contrary.
Do you even believe yourself here? Don't project your own pathology onto others.
" we are being mentioned as potential Oscar nominees"
...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*headsplosion*
"They aren't taking risks, they aren't living their dream, they aren't following their passion"
FYI, Tucker, I quit college to become a full-time computer game tester. Did that 3 years straight. Best 3 years of my life. After that - partly because 3 years of anything can wear a little - I decided to try "real" work. Been enjoying that. The work isn't as fun, but it pays better, and I have a lot more free time - and the game stuff got me solid experience and real-world skills (technical and social - yeah, social, what you ain't got) that have been invaluable since. So I've had the best of both worlds. Still no degree. Haven't missed it. Certainly don't miss the student debt my classmates racked up going for masters and phds and law degrees and medical school and whatnot.
Keep lying to yourself, buddy; don't try lying to me.
"and they are wrong EVERYTIME!"
Yeah, lots of specific counterexamples here. Not. Where's the police report from the donut shop, Tucker? What's the name of the hockey team whose mascot you beat up, Tucker? Why do the hotels deny your poop-lobby story ever happened, Tucker? Where's the video your friend filmed from the closet, Tucker?
" I can still write many more best sellers"
When's AFF coming out, Tucker?
Don't tell us, Tucker. Show us.
"I mean, remember when I announced the movie early last year"
This may shock you Tucker. But I never heard of your ass ever. Until I bought your book at an Airport book store (which is what your Novel is by the way...a bathroom book sold at kiosks)
I was on a business trip, I needed something to read. That was March of this year. Shocking I know. And I know lots of D-list celebrities, but you weren't one of them.
"we got the finance deal of the centruy."
This from the business plan of owning gun ranges, starting an Rudius Airline Company, and the belief that companies with massively successful products (like say an Ipod) need no marketing whatsoever.
You wouldn't know a good finance deal if it smacked you in the face with a 12" cock.
"we are being mentioned as potential Oscar nominees"
By who!? That's right, the reviewers that "send" you e-mails.
"we not only got distribution, we got an AMAZING deal."
Remember. The AMAZING deal they made you pay to get?
Try writing AMAZING in all caps a few more times Tucker. I won't thik ARTHUR KADE is your mentor at all.
"they are actually HELPING to make it happen."
He has to be delusional. Hasn't it been conclusively proven that internet buzz does not translate into BO success? And his plan now is the haterz are going to create Buzz?
"I could easily temper expectations, but the slight overpromising that started by accident has continued on purpose."
Slight? You said you would easily beat the Hangovers BO. You planning on pulling that 300 million out of your ass after Nils takes his small dick out of it?
"of stunts that they think hurt me, but actually help, and help immensely. IF you understand how media works at all, you understand why."
You're not getting the publicity of having a Paris Hilton sex tape you idiot. You have a low rated internet site (ranked below 20,000 in popularity). Just look at your Youtube videos...if you were going Viral I've never seen it.
Since it's obvious you're reading the sites. What do you think about the multiple fans who are interested in beating the shit out of you in front of everyone?
"From a psychological standpoint, the behavior is also interesting for another reason."
Doctor Max is in. Let's all listen. Not that he suffers from narcissism at all.
"hate things they don't care about"
Man, I hate green beans. Do you honestly think I give two shits about green beans?
"But what about the ones who have been reading this message board for like, four or five or six or even seven years"
You are referring to long time members who are in fact regular posters, who are now mocking you.
Or guess what, people like me who were never on your board.
"because they expend so much of their time and effort hating on me--"
This might again stun you Tucker. But I can whip out a diatribe in about 10 minutes with no source material.
I know it's hard for you to well, write anything original ever in the last 3 years. You must have writers block.
"This type is ALWAYS male, usually very close to my age."
Well, since we have multiple females here. Errr! Wrong again Tucker. And apparently TDG is younger than me even. I'm about 10 years younger than Tuck...but please continue with your rational, cogent thought.
"They aren't taking risks, they aren't living their dream, they aren't following their passion."
Does that involve being the 34 year old creepy guy in the corner at college parties? If so, I can see why they are not following your "dream"
"Maybe they even saw my success and thought they could beat me and tried and failed--and they can't handle the fact."
In terms of post ITSBIH, how would you measure success Tucker? You apparently have no money, no degree to fall back on because no firm would have you, you only hook up with broken women, virtually every picture of evidence we have on you shows you with Chicks that are not appealing.
Some of us are perfectly content with having a wife, family, a good job. I know it might suprise not everyone is a self involved child who needs to be the center of attention to validate themselves.
"they are wrong EVERYTIME!"
Tucker. You didn't have any haterz till after your book success. So when have they been wrong after this? It appears they've been right, right, right.
No real distribution (by your own description), No AFF for 2 years now, pushed back 1 more year for...? And declining popularity of your site.
"--the book spending four years on the best seller list and coming up on a million copies sold, for example."
Every number I've seen is 400, 500k copies, 100 weeks (not continuous) on the supplemental NYT list.
"I haven't announced who both of our distribution partners are or how many screens its going to be on."
Yeah, you know Fox, Sony, Paramount they all wait until a month before a movie is going to launch before they announce that they are the distributor.
"it's like...amazing."
Welcome back Arthur Kade. What a copious vocabulary you posess.
"--I don't know what they're going to do when the movie is a massive success"
Though I very much doubt that. I will chalk it up to Transformers. You don't have to make a good movie to earn millions in box office.
"I know how to deal with it"
Yeah, not like you've ever displayed psychotic tendancies. Like freaking out when you found out you fu**** a guy.
"But what can someone who has based their sense of self on me not succeeding do when they can no longer construct elaborate arguments explaining away my success?"
Since we have lives beyond your characature of narcissism we will be fine. We have jobs, lives, hobbies. I think that's a better asked question of someone involved in his own fairytale.
Here's the deal with the amazon web hosting:
Amazon got pretty good at network infrastructure and high uptime under massive loads (consider all the last minute Christmas shoppers). Most of the year, though, they have capacity to spare. A couple years back, they started leasing online storage (S3 -- simple storage system), then online computing capacity (EC2 -- Elastic Compute Cloud).
Tucker's hosting service outsourced the infrastructure to Amazon Web Services rather than self-managing a computer in a rack at a data center.
"FYI, Tucker, I quit college to become a full-time computer game tester. Did that 3 years straight. Best 3 years of my life."
It's beyond Tuckers capacity to understand how "normal" people who have families, jobs, friends could ever have a good life and be happy.
He just can't fathom not needing to continually be the center of attention in other peoples lives.
Most who are famous, aren't famous because they pursued fame. It's because they wanted to be the best actor, the best writer, the best basketball player, the best singer. Not for anyone else, but for themselves.
Tucker shows the maturity of a child who still needs to say "look at me! look at me!" and have other people reinforce that he has value.
At times it really is sad. I see shock therapy and years of ink blots at age 40 to deal with all the issues he never grew out of.
i think its funny how tucker's latest temper tantrum addresses EVERY SINGLE ONE of good points being made here and on imdb, yet its written in a style thats supposed to make you think 'oh, he's ten steps ahead of everyone, and he already knows all the objections, and he's already got an answer for each one. too bad tucker sucks as a writer or he might have pulled it off.
If what we are doing is helping him, why is he trying to debunk and deconstruct it ? Shut the fuck up you pasty skinned chubby short arsed douchebag.
Now it's, "They just want attention from me." He really doesn't get it: some people just don't like him. It has nothing to do with jealousy, or obsession, or messed-up lives. Some just think he's a doucebag.
"i think its funny how tucker's latest temper tantrum addresses EVERY SINGLE ONE of good points being made here and on imdb"
I think it's funny that we have confirmation he sits around and reads these sites all day long.
Unlike Tucker, I'm at work. And guess what, I'm also working when I'm not posting here Tucker. Are you familiar with that? You know, work?
Ok, the website outlook numbers are ridiculously inflated and I'd guess tucker's daily ad revenue is under $20.
Daddy Don't Hit Me hasn't been updated in 2 years, yet they calculate $3.88/day.
BC Woods stated:
I didn’t expect a whole lot of money (25% of the gross was my cut) but at no time did anyone say “effectively zero” which, in my opinion, is at least a little bit dishonest. I was paid $82 for six months, for your information.
That works out to $328/6 months, or $1.79/day. At a time when he was posting fresh content weekly and ad rates hadn't dropped due to click fraud, etc.
^^^ Naw, dude, his numbers are higher than 20 bucks. i hate the cuntbag as much as you do, but lets not go overboard. hes not making millions off his site, but hes not making peanuts either.
AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, That greasy little cunt is even more delusional than usual if that's even possible.
He's gone back to talking about oscars and massive BO takings, in his latest blog comments.
It's amazing how he imprints his own neuroses on people he can't see, hear, or ever met.
He is making peanuts.
Tucker's various websites did well a few years ago. Since that time his traffic dropped more than 50% (closer to 80% from his hey day), while the rates for click-thrus, impressions, etc. also dropped quite a bit. I'd say the estimates of $500 to $600 per month are not that far off the mark.
Take a good hard look at the bozos who advertise on his site. Do you honestly think they make much money, and that they collectively generate much ad revenue?
For the insufferable chronic masturbators humiliating themselves at the doormat of the RMMB - aka Fanboys- there's always little clues for you to take note that Tucker writes nearly every single positive comment on his movie message board. Take wit:
2:32 PM
"Jojo" writes:
I already told Max this and now I'm telling the rest of you. The trailer is fucking phenomenal. It's so great, I don't have anything bad to say. Not a single fucking joke to be made. It does not give away most of the funny at all. Maybe one or two good jokes, but none of the ones I would call standout.
Think about this for a second. If I don't have anything bad to say, how fucking excited should you people be?
Got it fanboys?
Yet only four minutes later at 2:36, "Bunny" miraculously shows up to make a comment directly off the "JoJo" comment. Ironic, considering the following post looks like it took maybe, oh, say, FOUR minutes to write.
"Bunny"
It so is.
The final version came through my email when I was in a coffee shop, and no one else was there, so I figured it would be okay for me to have a peek.
But I forgot about the guy who worked there. He heard the opening line and ran around the counter. He had no idea who Tucker was, or what the movie was about, and he said, "That is the funniest shit I've ever heard."
I don't exactly live in the kind of place that would embrace Tucker's material, either. Unless he wrote something about aliens and crystals, and how both of them talk to us.
LMAO
Yeah, some coffee guy at work just "overhears" some complete stranger playing a video, drops everything to "run" over to a stranger (I mean, uh Tucker) to invade her privacy, admit he was eavesdropping, and tell her "OH my God, that was the FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!"
How the fuck did that clown get into Duke?
__________________
Well sar, I was about to drop out this here airplane, when I heard a fellow paratrooper sing "Bad boy bad boys what you gonna do when Tucker Max fucks a deaf girl for you." It was so fucking funny, we fell out of the plane without our parachutes.
Tucker,
You care.
Stop caring.
Move on.
You have art to create.
Love,
Non-hateful Hater
Funny. Tucker's "haterz" seem to me to be pretty diverse in age and gender (I'm female and younger), but similar insofar as they consistently come across as more normal and articulate than his remaining defenders. I can see why Tucker doesn't defend himself on a neutral forum - he would get trounced.
Instead, a childish rant to his forty or so remaining followers. Tucker is not just soon to be financially bankrupt, but he needs a stimulus package to help with the insolvency of his integrity as well. If he didn't treat people so badly and insult their intelligence, I might feel bad for him...but he doesn't make it easy for me to join the pity party.
"He had no idea who Tucker was, or what the movie was about, and he said, "That is the funniest shit I've ever heard."
Yeah, I know when I here random shit on other peoples computers, as an employee at a coffee shop, I feel obligated to come running over...
After all, it's like there's work to do at the coffee shop.
And isn't this the continual theme...?
It's always someone who has NO CLUE WHO TUCKER IS but thinks he's the funniest shit ever.
That's classic Tucker writing to himself.
TAH
Keep Thinking About the Haters, tugger.
Butht Thecth!
*Didn't spell hear right...begging the publics pardon.
I'm a well-known poster over on RMMB, and though I'm not going to reveal my identity there, I just thought I'd drop in to let you fuckwad losers know that we're all laughing at you over there.
Tucker's been pretty stingy with showing the movie or even the trailer, even to those of us who are in the 'inner circle', but I got a chance to look at it, and whether you believe me or you don't, this shit is funny as hell. It's clever, it's edgy, and it's all the things that we would expect a Tucker-helmed movie to be.
Let me give you shit-eating losers an example. When I saw the movie, I was working, and I wore headphones to watch it. However, one of my co-workers evidently was walking behind me, because I heard a loud "CRASH!" behind me, about halfway through the trailer. I turned around to see him standing there with his lunch spilled out all over his feet and the ground- he had dropped it when he caught a glimpse of the trailer out of the corner of his eye.
"Holy fuckdragons", he bellowed, "what is that you're watching?" When I told him, he assured me that he had never, ever, ever heard of Tucker Max at all, and that he wasn't even sure what great art or the internet were, but that, upon seeing only a half-second of the trailer, he knew he was looking at something almost impossibly great.
"Please," he begged me, "you have to let me watch this trailer, over and over again. I'll give you money- whatever you want. This thing is so fucking funny, I can't focus on anything else. I've never even heard of this Tucker person, but I think this two-minute movie trailer might be changing my life, even as we speak."
Well, the boss heard all the commotion and barged in to see what the fuss was about, since by this time, productivity had come to a grinding halt in the office, and everyone- literally EVERYone- was fighting over who would get to watch the trailer next, and who had been the most unaware of Tucker's existence prior to having just seen it. People were coming in from outside on the street (I work in office space leased at the top of one of the biggest hotels in the city)- people who didn't even work here- and getting in on the madness. My boss yelled "Quiet down!", but when he caught the tail end of one of the lines in the movie, he immediately canceled work for the rest of the day, ordered everyone into the conference room, and we just watched the trailer over and over for the rest of the afternoon. At one point, one of the girls from accounting was doubled over, laughing so hard, that she accidentally vomited, which of course caused the girl sitting next to her to vomit ,and before I knew it, there was just this big conference room full of people who had all simultaneously vomited all over everything. It was INSANE. "The craziest part," my boss said in between uncontrollable fits of uproarious laughter, "is that I've NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THIS TUCKER PERSON. TRUST ME."
Anyhow, on my way out of the building, I accidentally shit uncontrollably all over the lobby. People thought that was about the funniest thing they'd even seen.
Wait, what was my point? Oh, yeah, Tucker rules.
"they consistently come across as more normal and articulate than his remaining defenders"
You're just begging viacom guy to return.
You know what's bad. I almost had trouble distinguishing that from one of Tuckers real posts...
It's almost to the point where sarcasm is now believed to be Tucker.
Once again pmcdonnell4 over at the IMDB beer in hell discussion board has a rational, mature, logical refutation of the douches latest childish rantings.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/143321229?d=143334942&p=1#143334942
For those folks (including myself) who are curious enough to download this when it hits torrent. Has anyone considered that this may not even have a chance to get pirated, simply due to limited release?
I think TM should consider leaking it himself, at least that way he will have ready excuse when it fails.
"The pirates stole my profits! Wah!"
^^^^^^7/21/2009 5:09 PM^^^^^^
I have to give this post props, that was one of the funniest things I've read.
-TDG
"I have to give this post props, that was one of the funniest things I've read."
It was so good I was loading the guns for a response, then I continued to read.
I almost mistook it for a real Tucker post. Now what does that say?
http://www.hbg-international.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/Sell%20Sheets/2009%20Individual%20Sell%20Sheets/I%20hope%20they%20serve%20beer%20in%20hell%20movie%20tie-in_kens.pdf
There's your promotional campaign right there. All laid out in a format other than Tucker's.
Is this kid an insecure fucktard or what? Reading his haterz response is like reading the diary of a madman.
I love the promotional materials linked above. Tucker was complaining last year when they mentioned "Big Mama's House" in regards to one of the producers. Now he has approved promo materials touting "Big Mama's House". Way to be consistent.
"There's your promotional campaign right there. All laid out in a format other than Tucker's."
Although half this shit is already untrue.
I just saw a movie this last weekend...his trailer isn't out there. And it's not online either. So I guess 7/18 is the Tucker Max I'll get around to it sometime date.
There's no 45-city tour...he already cut that to 30.
He does not get 1.5 million unique hits, Tucker Max.com is about the 20,000 most popular US site. If he gets 1.5 million unique hits, how come only 50 people post on his boards?
National TV spot? I haven't seen one.
An Fox is not distributing this movie to Box Office.
Funny add though, I like to see Max trying to sell Stills for $300 Bucks.
- Bright Star (limited)
- Dil Bole Hadippa (limited)
- Splice (limited)
- The Boys Are Back (limited)
- Brief Interviews with Hideous Men (limited)
- The Damned United (limited)
These six movies are all releasing limited the 18th and 25th. I've never heard of any of them, I'll never see a single ad on TV or in a Theater for them. And I highly doubt I'll see anything online before they come out.
Yet, IHTSBIH with it's very limited budget is going to make the Transformers ad campaign push?
Excuse me while I laugh on the floor uncontrollably...Tucker Max style of course.
max + movie = megasales!!!
3 month max-imum marketing campaign!!!
You've got to be fucking kidding me right?
This is his Machiavellian marketing strategy?!
Rofl-Turds
I really do love the we're gonna sell these stills for 300/368 Canadian...don't you want them!
keep in mind this--Tucker isn't even the coolest one of his friends.
;)
Notice he didn't get a Producer's credit.
"Notice he didn't get a Producer's credit."
I imagine that can happen when you get kicked off the set of your own movie.
By the way, I'm the one who found the above file. I'm not obsessed, I'm not jealous, and I'm not outright rooting for Tucker's demise. It was a fucking "bored on a Tuesday" google search after reading this blog. Simple fact - the outside materials being prepped, printed, and distributed are flat out wrong because of the man supposedly managing his own brand.
He doesn't manage his brand well and this is another case in point. There are errors in timing and information all over that. And what the fuck is up with the dancing devils? THIS is art?
"TAKE YOUR MOVIE EXXXPERIENCE TO THE MAX!*
*for only $30 and an hour drive"
- NO LOGO
"The only reason you need to spend 80 million dollars on carpet bombing the public with bullshit for a year in advance is because the underlying product SUCKS (ahem, GI Joe)"
From the guy who has no grasp of reality...
No movie carpet bombs with an 80 million dollar advertising budget. Any movie, like Terminator, Star Trek, Transformers, etc that thinks they are going to be 100, 200, 300 million plus movie...spends a lot on advertising, but not 80 million dollars.
This is typical of Tuckers grasp of reality.
"And what the fuck is up with the dancing devils? THIS is art?"
Still laughing...thanks for the link.
Arthur Kade and Tucker Max should get together and make a love baby.
everyone be sure to save this promo document to your computer before Tucker pulls it and claims 'it NEVER existed. You people make me LAUGH.'
Dancing Devils, that's how we roll.
Dancing Devils, We own your soul.
Dancing Devils, all is well.
I Only Hope They Sell Beer in Hell!
Paul Wall, 2009
Deconstructing Tucker's attempted deconstruction of "haterz" by TDG
"That's been one of the funniest aspects of this process for me, is watching those people like you who are so obsessed with hating me that they literally spend more time reading about me than any fan does, try to deal with each step. “
Don’t lie Tucker, you really don’t have anymore fans. You’re down to like 200 people who regularly live on your website who still buy into your bullshit. The rest are there to mock you and watch you Tucker Max Fail.
“I mean, remember when I announced the movie early last year,”
Yes, and since then it’s been followed by many announcements. You’ve lied on at least 1/2 of them and didn’t follow through on the other 1/2.
“and because the trades didn't write about it, you all went nuts with ridiculous claims about me lying and it all being a charade.”
No Tucker, we listened in a little bit closer and figured out that you were a liar on a lot of other levels. Most serious isn’t that you’ve lied about your stories, that’s comical but acceptable, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s that you’ve lied about the quality of your new material. Not only lied about it, but bragged about it, as if there were no more moving parts in Hollywood who might hear what you’ve said and called you on your bullshit. Here’s the funny part; you’re nothing. You’re lying through your teeth on a number of levels and nobody cares enough to say anything because you don’t matter. Now, I might not matter to you because I don’t like you and it’s your defense mechanism to shut down and find fault in somebody elses personality rather than your own, but that’s okay because you’re a passing fad. No, what I find even funnier is that you with all your accolades mean nothing in Hollywood. Zero. You’re a known factor as being a “do not touch” full of shit guy with little to moderate success, but nobody cares enough to write about it.
The big deals you brag about getting? They are never reported about because they don’t matter. They’re just not that big of a deal to anybody within the know in LA.
And the thought that you are not only insignificant in the eyes of your peers means a lot more than me not mattering to you. It’s probably why you don’t sleep well at night.
Oh, that and the fact that if you do hit it big, you’re toast. I’m not a writer or even a journalist, and if I could find out all this information exposing you as an out and out liar, think what might happen if a real journalist takes your story.
You’re toast.
Sleep well.
Part II:
“and look what happened, we attached a director and actors right away.”
Dude, no offense, but Bob Gosse and Matt Whocry? That’s like bragging that your film is so awesome because it has a steadicam and a driving rig. Oh wait, you did that too.
“Or remember when I announced that we were financed, and it didn't run in the trades for like two weeks, and you went nuts claiming it was all *beep* look what happened, we got the finance deal of the centruy.”
Really dickwad? What trade announced this as “the finance deal of the century?”
“And remember when that failed writer claimed to have read the script and hated it,”
Wait, which failed writer was that? Was it Kung Fu Mike, The Bunny or any number of your stable of failed writers on Rudius? Did they come clean on your script?
So that’s what really happened to Kung Fu Mike, he was just honest.
“and they went nuts celebrating...and looked what happened, we are being mentioned as potential Oscar nominees.”
Tucker, this is why you are full of fucking shit. First off, nobody worth their weight is mentioning anything this outlandish publicly they wouldn’t be taken seriously as a professional. I’d love for somebody to talk to David Zuckerberg personally on this, because I’d almost guarantee that he’ll say you’re 1) embellishing or 2) lying.
“And remember when the distribution deal took a few weeks longer to close than I thought it would, and they went nuts, and look what happened...we not only got distribution, we got an AMAZING deal. “
Yeah Tucker when you’re stuck in a sweaty bus for the 15th straight hour of listening to your own bullshit on the way to a 1/2 sold out show (between 5 colleges) keep telling yourself how AMAZING your shitty distribution really is.
“And after each one of these steps, they just ignore all the predictions and proclamations they had made perviously--because they are now obviously false--and they move their target to the next step.”
Which prediction is that? That your film is going to open wide to thousands of theaters or that your film will beat The Hangover. Which one of us said “cough cough FOX”?
Oh wait, you made those grand proclamations, not us. Fuck dude this is a short list, people here can come up with a list of your false proclamations that will be at least as long as your own shitty script. You’re the king of empty promises, not anybody else but you.
Part III:
"Well, he may have got a deal, but whatever, anyone can do that--IT STILL WON'T BE IN THEATERS!, "Well, it may be going in theaters--BUT IT'LL STILL FAIL!!"
Here’s my prediction Tucker, and I’ll stand by it: When real people count the Box Office, your film won’t make a 1/2 million dollars. I’m not counting your bullshit tour where your going to count t-shirt and book sales as part of the money made, or the fact that you’re ripping off your fans with a 30 buck fee anyhow. I’m talking at the box office that is legally tallied by legitimate people.
“That to me is going to be the funniest part of all of this: Watching the haterz try to explain away the huge success of the movie.”
Actually dude, the funniest part of all this is watching a liar explain away the huge missteps and failures of the movie. It’s like you’re in a constant state of damage control and spin. You have to recognize you have little talent and the thought of you realizing that has to be the funniest part of all of this.
“Because make no mistake, that success is coming, and irony of ironies, they are actually HELPING to make it happen.”
Yeah dude, all that negative word of mouth is going to totally make your film sell. It did wonders for Battlefield Earth.
“Their hatred is helping to create the situation they are most dreading: Me as massive star.”
You’re being ironic, correct? Because I certainly am not dreading you becoming a massive star at all. I’m fucking praying for it. If you become a star, the level of scrutiny your bullshit stories will face will make James Frey look like a kid who lied about eating cookies before dinner.
“I could easily temper expectations, but the slight overpromising that started by accident has continued on purpose. It has become so rewarding because it causes SUCH a reaction from the haterz. They go nuts.”
Yeah, we go on hate binges. I’m going to sacrifice a douchebag in front of my alter of Tucker Hatred because Tucker has foiled me again.
Is it me, or does Tucker monologue an awful lot? It’s like he’s writing a continual infomercial for his movie, and this is the part of the infomercial where he has to persuade anybody who still cares that he’s really a success through THE TUCKER MAX METHOD.
“It's awesome to get such an intense emotional reaction from such a small thing as optimism and enthusiasm”
Yes, we’re crying while we write this. And there is nothing small about your optimism (or realistic either).
“--you can't buy that sort of energy.”
Yes you can, it’s called RED BULL MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
“That hatred drives them to do all kinds of stunts that they think hurt me, but actually help, and help immensely.”
Yes, because without some random feminist group protesting at your OSU speech YOU ACTUALLY GOT SOME PRESS. If not, you were buried on page 12.
By the way, what “stunts” do you speak of? You mean like how I planned on you to go into Opie & Anthony and made to look like a fraud? Yes Tucker Max, it was me, your arch nemesis THE DECONSTRUCTIONATOR.
Does it ever tire you out to be this full of shit?
“IF you understand how media works at all, you understand why. “
Yes, Tucker has shown to “understand media” so much that he’s untouchable to any reputable agency or management firm. So much so that his film wasn’t touched by any distributor worth note.
Tell me when his vast understanding of media begins to pay off with legit ticket sales.
Part IV:
“From a psychological standpoint, the behavior is also interesting for another reason.”
This is where Tucker Max: Marketing Genius/ Auteur turns into Tucker Max: Forensic Psychologist.
“I mean, look at what they do:”
I write on the comments section of a blog. That being said, more people are talking about me taking you apart then the other way around.
“They don't care about the movie or anyone involved in it,”
Yeah, I don’t care about anybody involved in the making of the movie, so FUCK YOU SHREVEPORT!!!!
Oh wait, that’s already been done.
“they only care about it as an extension of their almost pathological hatred for me.”
The extension is a pathological hatred of a pathological liar as they use that hatred to expose the lies of the pathological liar. It’s pathological and shit.
“It's basic psychology”
And if there’s nothing more than Tucker loves more than beer and pussy, it’s psychology.
“to understand that people do not hate things they don't care about, so that became the question for me--why do these people who don't know me care so much? “
Pssst, because you’re a fraud and it’s fun to pick on you because now I know you’re listening.
“There are the ones who get banned from here or who I insult over email--they lose their *beep* and rage at me, but that only lasts a short while. “
By the way, still on your message board, just got more postive rep today.
“They register 20 times, post insane rants against me (os sometimes SLF),”
Or maybe they’re posting insults to your face that you’re not nearly clever enough to understand while still getting positive rep.
“or they post things about me on some other forum,”
Or other forums just post things about you being a douchebag with nearly universal acceptance.
OR SOMETIMES, you and a few of your friends will post things about you on some other forums, about how cool you are or how great your book is, or how awesome your movie is. They’ll never truly give themselves away until they do things like post…
“but eventually the person moves onto some fresher anger in their lives, as I was just a passive focus for their rejection anger. “
Yes Bunny, and how’s that rejection anger doing in rehab? Still taking it up the ass to erase that anger of being rejected by Tucker even after he treated you like shit and you still didn’t get even an Associate Producer credit like you think you deserve?
“But what about the ones who have been reading this message board for like, four or five or six or even seven years, not really posting, instead just silently hating,”
Tucker just mentioned the majority of the population on his message board. Seriously, RMMB is DEAD. They’re recycling the same threads at a rate of every other month. Plus, most all the really cool people have left.
I was never around for the “good old days” as I joined in 2007, but all those great threads, the people who dominated them are all long gone. Now it’s just a really bad cult of personality with somebody whom I’ve lost all faith in.
That’s why I’m here. I’m saying everything I want to say without having to deal with that cult of personality directly (while dealing with them directly: thanks Tucker!!!)
Part V:
“or just posting on one of the hate sites.”
Tucker should post a “THEY GET IT” links to this rant, because clearly the hate sites are the only people who really get it.
“The ones who claim to despise me, but when they write about me, they know every *beep* detail of everything I have ever written about, like, to a level of detail that is almost frightening?”
It’s almost like we’re in your inner circle, isn’t it Tucker? Like maybe you shouldn’t talk to other mods on your message board about stuff when those same mods give us juicy details on your life (btw, most of them think you’re full of shit too, notice how the good ones are no longer active?)
“The ones who spend hours and hours on my hate sites, writing long diatribes against me or elaborate treatises trying to explain away my success”
“Explain away my success” is code for “telling the truth”.
“or lengthy logic chains trying to claim for some reason I am actually a failure.”
See, this all depends on your definition of “success”. Meaning this, your movie could make a billion dollars and you’d still be a fraud and a douchebag in my opinion. See, that has to tear you up, because I’m clearly not the only one who thinks this. It has nothing to do with envy or hate or how we want your success or that we’re failures. Those aren’t even original excuses, they’re the kind of excuses douchebags use to explain their own shortcomings.
No matter what you do to get you fame and/or money, you are nothing more than a fucking douchebag in my eyes.
“These are the ones that really interest me,”
Interest him so much that they’re banning anybody who they even think is associated with this site.
Except me, because I’m still posting.
“because they expend so much of their time and effort hating on me--its like they are running a parallel life to mine, doing as much work as I am, but instead of accomplishing anything, it's all just hating me. “
Actually Tucker, I’m getting a book deal out of this. It’s through the same publisher as TheBunny’s upcoming novel that you helped broker. That was some accomplishment, huh?
“Why are some people like this? I do not know for sure, but here is what I can gather, after getting numerous emails from a few of them over the years: “
You know that Tucker has a ENEMIES LIST?
“This type is ALWAYS male,”
Wrong as usual Tucker Max. Percentage-wise you have just as many females on this board then you do on your own board.
Unless you believe your bullshit that it’s 50/50.
“usually very close to my age.”
Which age is that, the age you tell people you are or your actual age of 36? Don’t believe me, do a search on “Tucker Max” on all those USSearch sites, they don’t list him as 33-34.
Why do you think that is?
“They are the type that see themselves just the way I see myself”
I see myself as a scared and paranoid little boy liar with massive daddy issues who knows full well that if I don’t oversell the quality of my movie then I’ll be bartending at Max’s Grille by 2011?
No dude, I doubt I can ever see myself that way. All you.
“--except they aren't actually living that life. They aren't taking risks, they aren't living their dream, they aren't following their passion. They WANTED to that, but have done the opposite,”
You’re right Tucker. I thought about it, and your right. I figured it out one day in late June while I was finishing up my last session with a 6 year old who came to me in September with possibly the worst text book case of a stuttering I’ve ever encountered. I remember how she finished up her last sentence to me without any stutter at all and I thought how I wish I were an overgrown adult who lied my way to infamy and how this adult actually believed his work about fucking and shitting was indeed “art” and how he really believed he was “helping people”.
I mean, fuck all that shit with actually really helping a dofus kid with a stutter when I can live the dream like Tucker, TheBunny and Kung Fu Mike.
God, you pegged me. I'm a broken person now.
Part VI:
“they have accepted the safety of the system in exchange for it's security, and they did it because they convinced themselves there was no other way”
Do you believe that when Bunny is taking it up the ass by a total stranger in rehab that she looks back at the moment where she decided to take the Tucker Max Method To Living Life And Shit with regret or with hope?
“that they were doing the right thing. And then I came along--the same age, same intelligence, same looks”
You do realize Tucker is touching himself when he writes about himself. I’m sure he has a lifesize version of himself and sometimes he fucks the doll in front of the mirror and exclaims things like:
“Look Dad, It’s me… fucking meeeeeeeee…… Even you couldn’t do that Dad!!!”
“--and succeeded EXACTLY where they failed. Maybe they even saw my success and thought they could beat me and tried and failed--and they can't handle the fact.”
Dude, the more I read your new stuff, the more I come to the conclusion that it’s like reading a comic book villain who is writing an infomercial.
“Instead of facing their own shortcomings, learning from them and moving on, they instead look to heal their ego by trying to "prove"”
If only Tucker understood what irony means.
“”I am not a success. ‘
MOTHERFUCKER, I KNEW I COULD GET YOU TO UTTER THAT SENTENCE!!!
“Seriously--go read any of the hater blogs,”
Which most likely you already are, and thank you for your patronage.
“or some of the nutjobs who post on the IMDB forums or something.”
Yeah, nutjobs like:
Frank P. Cirillo, a 21-year-old jut-jawed student. On his MySpace page, Frank wrote the following in answer to the question about who he'd "like to meet": "TUCKER MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HERO www.tuckermax.com[.]"
Awesome. Great endorsement. Tucker Max probably gets a few thousand of those a day. But police say Cirillo, a student at the University of Connecticut, took the "rapey" part of "rapey-fratty" way too far.
Cirillo was arrested on Saturday for allegedly forcing his way into a sleeping woman's apartment and raping her.”
Yeah, those fucking nutjobs like that Tucker?
Part VII:
“It's almost unbelievable the amount of effort they put out trying to "prove" something I have said about the movie is either untrue or doesn't matter, and they have been doing this for YEARS,”
Like, when Tucker was a little boy, he totally planned all of this was going to happen. He’s been doing it for YEARS.
“and they are wrong EVERYTIME!”
I quote to you Marc from the comments section of the ScriptReaders blog:
“This film has no chance of getting picked up by a major studio. You’ve heard it here first. This film has absolutely zero chance of getting major distribution- Marc”
“What I think might happen to him is that he will go out and bang on people’s doors at smaller individually owned theaters located near major colleges.”
“Does Tucker write some drivel about how film critics are failed writers and what they say mean nothing, yet still posts a few good reviews by other film critics?”
“Best Case Scenerio:
I see Tucker getting tiny distribution at a few theaters near big colleges for very short periods of time.”
Tucker, there are literally pages of this guy getting the future of your film almost exactly right in every instance. He predated Gawker and had you fucking pegged. You are Bizarro with your own predictions compared to his Superman.
“Of course they ignore all the stuff that doesn't support their arguments”
Ignoring stuff like…. the lies you tell, which is almost every post. You lie so much that if you said “Good morning” to me I’d think you were lying.
“--the book spending four years on the best seller list”
Again, not four years straight, and only the Supplemental List, because if this were listed correctly as FICTION, then we’d never would have heard of Tucker Max.
“and coming up on a million copies sold, for example.”
Over a million douchebags served.
“Just look at the massive argument they are in over distribution, that sometimes finds its way over here--they are in a tizzy because I haven't announced who both of our distribution partners are or how many screens its going to be on. This is somehow proof that everything is a fraud! “
Dude, everybody already knows. Here’s the other funny part, the news of your revolutionary film getting distribution? IT DIDN’T MAKE THE TRADE MAGAZINES!!!! That’s how small and meaningless your “art” is considered!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
“AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA--The movie is done,”
Thank you for agreeing with me Tucker.
“it's going to be in theaters all over the country on September 25th, and that's it! “
Yeah, after blowing your wad on your 30 dollar a pop tour that will most likely have all your hard cores coming to see the movie, it will be a film that had been picked clean of any and all potential theatergoers and you’re right… that’s it.
“It's over!”
Fini!
“But they're desperately struggling to hang on to anything that they can that will allow them to think I am a failure, so that they don't have to face the pain of their own existences, it's like...amazing. “
No dude, it’s not like I’m going to have to face myself if this is a failure, and/or you get caught as a fraud and a liar later on.
Part VIII:
“They have put all of their sense of self into me failing--I don't know what they're going to do when the movie is a massive success, but I really can't wait to see it.”
We’ll still be here and we’ll still be calling you a douchebag. Bet on it.
“They have invested so much emotional capital in my failure, when the opposite happens, at some point, the rubber will meet the road in their psyche, their cognitive dissonance is going to collapse, and they are going to lose it in a bad way.”
Yeah, we’re going to lose it so bad we’re going to shit on your dick!!
“THAT is going to be what's interesting.”
It certainly will be more interesting than my lame movie.
“Not me failing. I have failed many times before, and I will fail many times in the future.”
September 25th being the example we’re all going to see.
“I know how to deal with it,”
Cough, cough LIE, cough!!
“because my sense of self is not based out of individual projects:”
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
“I process it, learn from it, and move on.”
Yeah, you really learned from your TV show debacle.
“I mean, if I fail at movies, no big deal,”
You’re right, no big deal, but HYSTERICAL.
“I can still write many more best sellers”
Yeah dude, I mean, Assholes Finish First was fucking awesome!!!
“and do many other things.”
He Strong Like Hulk!! Grrrrrrr!!!
“But what can someone who has based their sense of self on me not succeeding do when they can no longer construct elaborate arguments explaining away my success?"
Actually, we’re not constructing anything. We’re exposing your elaborate arguments on why you believe you are successful. But as I’ve said before, if your movie is a success and you become as famous as you believe you are, you become a target of a massive amount of scrutiny, and we’re just seeing how much scrutiny you can take before you go on an insane rant.
You will always be a douchebag to us.
Fini
-TDG
"Or maybe they’re posting insults to your face that you’re not nearly clever enough to understand while still getting positive rep."
I hope your not doing the sarcastic encouragement I see on the Arthur Kade board. That's just mean to retards like Tucker...they will believe you, you know.
“And remember when that failed writer claimed to have read the script and hated it,”
Wait, which failed writer was that? Was it Kung Fu Mike, The Bunny or any number of your stable of failed writers on Rudius? Did they come clean on your script?
TDG, I love your verbal parlay skills.
Well, I've had a nice evening reading this. I've also been getting drunk.
Unfortunately I have to go help a stripper celebrate her birthday. And despite guaranteed fucking tonight, and excessive alcoholism...
I will be at work tomorrow. Being productive. Bright and early...
So tell me, how is Assholes Finish First coming? I imagine there is nothing preventing you from finishing this masterpiece.
After all...if a Hater like me can go into work on fluid dynamics equations drunk and still smelling of stripper, I expect you to finish that book on the double.
“--and succeeded EXACTLY where they failed. Maybe they even saw my success and thought they could beat me and tried and failed--and they can't handle the fact.”
Dude, the more I read your new stuff, the more I come to the conclusion that it’s like reading a comic book villain who is writing an infomercial.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! That's exactly who he is now!!!
It's come full circle. Tucker is now Cloud, leading his own Heroic Destiny Squad and fighting against the tyranny of "the man" and "the system" while righteously defending the honor of art and the artist.
I conclude that karma is smarter than all of us put together. Well played God, well played.
It's his latest spin, that he didn't really mean all the ridiculous predictions, he just said it to piss of the haterz.
TDG, great work as always.
Does he really think there's a single person here who literally won't know what to do with his/her life if the movie does well?
Oh, Lord, TDG... you are truly the king of Tucker hatred. I can't stop laughing.
Also, whoever wrote the fake-RMMB-trailer-guy thing: classic. And whoever wrote "Well played, God, well played." Perfect ending.
Oh, how I love this blog.
Clearly TM reads this blog. His post was desperate and fatal.
You're a mean dickhead Tucker Max. You attack women and immagrent children. Let's see you say some shit to an adult male while not surrounded by navy seals you gay fucker. The world is on to you and your bullshit. You have lost control and now you will have to deal with reality. it's going to get ugly bitch!
“--you can't buy that sort of energy.”
Yes you can, it’s called RED BULL MOTHERFUCKER!!!!
----------------------------------
Dear TDG,
My love of your writing has completely replaced my former hatred of Tucker, for whom I now feel naught but pity and disdain. I wish you great success in all your future endeavors.
gH0$t d0g..................OUT!
This blog is the funniest place on the intertubes right now. Either that or Tucker is has the world's biggest "kick me" sign on his back and his pathology just makes it so easy...
Tucker as comic book villain writing an infomercial is a great metaphor, TDG.
When Tucker criticizes the "failed writer" (“And remember when that failed writer claimed to have read the script and hated it,”) I think he is talking about Cecelia the film industry blogger, even though lots of people (i.e. pretty much every objective source) trashed the script. If so, he is pretty stupid to call attention to her criticism, because it was a hilariously insightful review from someone who clearly doesn't have an axe to grind (beyond a distaste for lack of talent) and yet manages to eviscerate and expose Tucker in a very entertaining way.
And calling someone who is much more accomplished and intelligent than you a "failed writer" shows you didn't learn anything in law school, Max Tard, since the first thing that one is taught about debate is that personal attacks are the weakest form of argument.
Of course, when you are a narcissistic bully lashing out anywhere you perceive weakness to compensate for your myriad failures, I guess you just can't help yourself. Pussy.
Seriously, can somebody kick this guy's ass already?
(In)famous Duke Law grads: Ken Starr, Richard Nixon, Bill Campbell (Atlanta mayor convicted of fraud a few years ago who shamefully played the race card in his legal defense), Drew Rosenhaus, Claude Allen (advisor to Bush convicted of compulsively shoplifting from Target by claiming false refunds)...but only one is destined to be famous enough to have "fail" embedded after his name.
Tucker. Max. Fail.
But at least he (snicker) got the financing deal of the century.
Tucker, tucker, tucker. Nobody is "raging" over here. Regardless of whether your particular project succeeds (or you are able to spin it as a success somehow, most likely by grossly exaggerating everything about your tour when you are in control - the well worn Tucker MO), we don't care that much.
Win or lose, you still Tucker. Max. Fail. at life.
And pushing your buttons is fun, even though you are too stupid to experience any kind of personal development from this.
It's come full circle. Tucker is now Cloud, leading his own Heroic Destiny Squad and fighting against the tyranny of "the man" and "the system" while righteously defending the honor of art and the artist.
I conclude that karma is smarter than all of us put together. Well played God, well played.
----------------------
Perfect sum up. This site also has gone a long way from turning my loathing for tucker into something far closer to pity. I'm still laughing of course, the joke is just too well set up , ironic, and cathartic not to laugh. This whole things plays out with the perfect life affirming finale.
I think he'll learn a life lesson through all of this , stop taking himself so seriously and learn to laugh at himself like one THOUGHT the Tucker max in his stories would. Because if you can't laugh at yourself , everyone else will.
Another Scene. This one comes with a good/bad cops and sub title humour. Haven't I seen this in every failed comedy in the past 20 years? Sep 25th should be a day of national mourning. Crazy Pill Guy (CPG).
INT. MECKLENBERG COUNTY JAIL - A FEW MINUTES LATER 56
Jeff is in the drunk tank, surrounded by a bunch of Mexicans.
JEFF
I need to get out and talk to my
wife or she’ll never take me back!
Who’s with me!?
MEXICAN NUMERO UNO
I’m da only one who speaks English,
mane.
65.
Jeff enthusiastically jumps up on the bench.
JEFF
Esta bien bendejos, yo hablo
espanol! [subtitle: It’s okay
bitches, I speak Spanish!]
57 INT. OUTSIDE THE JAIL CELL - SIMULTANEOUS 57
The cops behind the desk hear some screaming from the cell.
GOOD COP
What is going on in there?
BAD COP
I’ll check it out.
58 INT. JAIL CELL - SIMULTANEOUS 58
JEFF
Yo veo los tenedores! Tendremos una
revolucion estrenimiento!
[subtitle: I see the forks! We will
have a constipated revolution!]
The Mexicans stare at each other in confusion.
BAD COP
What the hell is going on in here?
JEFF
Su madre es puta para baaah baaaah!
Sigame al bano!
[subtitle: His mother is a
prostitute for goats! Follow me to
the toilet!]
Bad Cop whacks Jeff with his night stick and he collapses on
the floor.
THE DIARY OF TUCKER MAX, 2012
TO: Tucker Max
FROM: Burger Grill Head Office
RE: Tucker Max Fries
Dear Mr Max,
Thank you for your recent correspondence regarding Tucker Max brand Fries. We value input from employees at all levels of our company. I note that you are currently paid to dress up in one of our giant hamburger costumes and parade around outside the Compton branch of our restaurant dispensing menus and coupons. People like yourself are the public face of Burger Grill and in that sense our most valued workers. In another sense you are easily replaced, minimum wage proles. I will take his opportunity to remind you that if you remove your burger bun hat in public and expose your real face, you will be in breach of your contract with Burger Grill and will be fined a day’s wages.
With regard to your letter, I will address each of your points in turn:
1. We have made a careful study of the Tucker Max Fries that you kindly sent us through the mail. My first observation is that they appear to have been crudely manufactured from recycled cardboard. This has not been recognised as an acceptable potato substitute since 1974.
However, we are an open-minded company and in that spirit I fed a handful of your eponymous fries to the office intern. I am sorry to report that he found them very difficult to swallow and was subsequently rushed to a nearby E.R. Our conclusion is that $30 is an unrealistic price for such a low quality food item, even when a toy is included.
2. The ‘toy’ in question – a join the dots puzzle sheet, which you claim that when completed will “form a totally awesome picture, like something you would see hanging in an art museum” and will be worth “in excess of $1 million” - appears to have some quality-related issues.
After our office intern returned from having his stomach pumped I asked him to complete the puzzle with the intention of hanging the finished masterpiece on the wall of my spacious corner office. When he finished it two minutes later we were both somewhat surprised to find ourselves staring at a childish drawing of an elephant, balanced on one leg, on a circus trapeze. It is hard to see how such a puerile rendering could have any market value, nevermind the heavy price tag you ascribe to it. Furthermore since this would be a mass-produced item, the sheer volume would have a negative effect upon its market value within the art world.
I am amazed that you cannot see the elephant Tucker. Maybe we have joined the dots incorrectly.
3. You inform me of your plan to roll out Tucker Max Fries nationwide on September 25th. Initially you claim they will appear in 400 Burger Grill restaurants, prior to a larger scale release in the run up to Christmas. To address this last point, Burger Grill currently has 403 restaurants in the US, impeding the larger scale release you envisage.
Furthermore our promotions and menus are planned in-house at least a year in advance. Using our restaurants to sell food that has been unsanctioned by Burger Grill Head Office is not only a breach of your contract but will also leave you open to both civil and criminal prosecution.
4. Here at Burger Grill we pride ourselves on our high quality fast food. However we not in the business of fine dining and you are unlikely to receive the unprecedented ten Michelin Stars for your Tucker Max Fries that you claim are guaranteed.
5. I have spoken to representatives of chef Gordon Ramsey. He claims never to have visited Afghanistan. It is therefore unlikely that you saved his life there when you working for the CIA.
I hope that the above answers all of your questions.
Yours
Robert Douglas, CEO Burger Grill
^^^ Dude... when I first started reading this, I thought to myself: "I can already see where this is going. This will be stupid, though well-intentioned."
Then I kept reading, and I couldn't stop laughing. The '403 restaurants' thing pushed me over the edge. Awesome. Well-done, old chap.
"I am amazed that you cannot see the elephant Tucker. Maybe we have joined the dots incorrectly."
Pristine!
This blog is funnier than anything i have ever seen RMMB!
Tugger still has a massive amount of sand in his vagina about distribution (douchetribution in this case).
"Originally Posted by Rudyjax View
Post:
I know you've said you're going to announce it when you can, but WTF can't you? It seems like every other movie out on the 25th has it's distributer announced. Freestyle can only open on 450 screens. How did you break the mold to open wide? I want to see the movie, but I don't want to drive to the Angelika to see it.
You've told us that it's a kick ass distribution deal, and I guess the longer it goes, the less I beleive it. Proof is in the pudding.
Tucker:
This makes me laugh so much--you have no idea what you are talking about. You truly are stupid in the purest sense of the word.
What the fuck does either who distributes the movie or what the distribution deal is have to do with ANYTHING you care about? Nothing. Name your ten favorite movies. Now tell me who distributed them? I bet you can't name two, if even one. Beyond that, do you even know what a good versus bad distribution deal would be? Fuck no. You have no fucking clue. You are talking about shit that matters to NO ONE except the people WHO HAVE POINTS ON THE MOVIE.
There are two things everyone else cares about:
1. Is the movie any good?
2. Is it going to be in theaters?
That is it. Nothing else could matter in the least to anyone else, and the fact that you think it does makes you a fucking moron, because you are listening to a bunch of other idiots who have no clue what they are talking about.
I have not talked about the distribution deal because, like I have said 100 times, Darko has asked me not to. End of story. Believe me, I would LOVE to explain what we have done and why because I think it is fucking brilliant on so many levels, but that decision is not mine. But again--it doesn't matter. The movie is going to be in theaters, end of story; we may open on 2000 screens, or 1200 screens, or we may do a slow roll out--like those little Oscasr winning movies Juno and Slumdog Millionaire--and open on 400 screens and expand from there. All are national releases, all cover at least 70% of the US population, and all have their advantages and disadvantages.
You aren't even smart enough to have the perspective to understand that the fact that you even know ANYTHING about ANY of this is BECAUSE I did something brand new: I included the fans in these discussions through the blog. You wouldn't even know enough to have the wrong opinions about any of this had I not written the blog for a year and talked about things no one ever talks about. But congrats, you are just smart enough to get it wrong. I'm sure your parents are proud.
And BTW--Freestyle can everything any other distributor can do. They can open on 3500 screens if we give them enough money. Does the italicized part give you an idea of why the distribution deal is so good? Because if you know about the economics of feature films, you should be able to understand the implication of that portion of the sentence, and why our deal is fucking revolutionary. But you don't understand why, because you have no clue what you are talking about."
He's so fucking thin-skinned its unbelievable. Still come bring himself to come out and say
'We got no real distribution so we had to go DIY'.
'Still CAN'T bring himself...'
Tucker's Response to Burger Grill Correspondence
Mr. Douglas,
What you haterz fail to understand is that my fanbase is already excited about Tucker Max Fries. Your intern having his stomach pumped is the kind of thing these real Americans live to see. It is truly sad that your hatred of me has made you hold this product in contempt.
What about the fry cooks? What about the cardboard manufacturers? It is as if you don't care at all what happens to these people as you wish for my fries to fail.
If you spent more time really living life instead of being domicile with vitriolic lust aimed at destroying my genius, then you, too, could see more than an elephant.
I will await your letter backtracking and asking to open more stores just to distribute my fries once this shit blows up the way we know it will do.
The Tucker Max
Tucker's Response to Burger Grill Correspondence
Mr. Douglas,
What you haterz fail to understand is that my fanbase is already excited about Tucker Max Fries. Your intern having his stomach pumped is the kind of thing these real Americans live to see. It is truly sad that your hatred of me has made you hold this product in contempt.
What about the fry cooks? What about the cardboard manufacturers? It is as if you don't care at all what happens to these people as you wish for my fries to fail.
If you spent more time really living life instead of being domicile with vitriolic lust aimed at destroying my genius, then you, too, could see more than an elephant.
I will await your letter backtracking and asking to open more stores just to distribute my fries once this shit blows up the way we know it will do.
The Tucker Max
PS I'd like you to know Paul Wall wrote the jingle for these fries. It is in the bag.
And BTW--Freestyle can everything any other distributor can do. They can open on 3500 screens if we give them enough money.
Oh fuck! Tucker isn't even self-aware enough to realize that he's admitting that his distribution deal is a disaster after pumping it up. This is like picking on someone mildly retarded. I'm beginning to feel guilty.
I wouldn't be feeling guilty. This blog isn't doing anything TM hasn't done before to others, the Antony Dimeo saga being a prime example. Now I am not saying that Dimeo wasn't deserving. The guy all but begged for it with his outlandish claims of success and popularity, brazen arrogance and delusions of granduer... Karma?
"And BTW--Freestyle can everything any other distributor can do. They can open on 3500 screens if we give them enough money."
http://www.freestylereleasing.com/news.htm
This article is telling. (IMO it actually makes freestyle look bad)
They are bragging about hits like Bottleshock, The Illusionist, Dragon War, In the Name of the King.
To be fair, I liked Bottleshock (3.6 million box office) and The Illusionist (6.3 million box office) but neither movie made Enough at Box Office to pay the actors, let alone the costs of distribution to Freesytle, or production.
And these other movies are woeful. In the name of the King is possibly one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I mean, it's in my top 10 of worst all time, which includes Gigli, Howard the Duck, The Postman, and other Razzie winners.
http://www.freestylereleasing.com/library.htm
And let's analyze the DVD feasibility here. Blockbuster is the biggest brick rental draw, at 5,000 stores (let's assume combined other stores total 2,500, like Hollywood video)
Of the films on that list 75% were never bought to my knowledge by Rental Chains. I go to blockbuster all the time, and I never saw them. If they were there, that means they only had 1-2 copies per store, and I simply didn't notice.
I noticed Bottleshock, Nobel Son, In the name of the King, Dragon Wars, etc. They had copies of those when they came out.
What about Netflix? Well, bad news there. Netflix stocks fewer DVDs than blockbuster because they operate on a pull (like Toyota).
Which is why you can't always get a DVD you want on Netflix, they stock according to demand and distribute from various distribution centers.
So when BlockBuster buys 10 copies of Dragon War (which they did) and takes a bath on it, Netflix doesn't. Because they have a total of maybe 5,000 copies because that's about how many people want to watch that movie.
The other thing on the back end to remember is retailers like BlockBuster/BestBuy don't pay anything near what you see at retail. They pay a reduced price to the distributor, and the owners get royalty out of what's left of the retailer profit after overhead, sales tax, etc on a percentage.
Now, DVDs are good because they usually carry a high level of profit. Cheap to make, retailers pay low costs, and they can charge 15-20 for new DVDs, so there's quite a bit of profit to be split.
Of course, Tuckers "back end deal" isn't talking about DVDs, it's BO. FOX thinks they might turn a buck on DVDs, but that means they aren't giving Tucker everything after say 10 million, they are taking it for the life of the DVD.
Indeed, Fox would never come in on the DVDs unless they were sure of getting a portion of every single sale and getting paid up front.
Being realistic here...I'm seeing a possibility of maybe 10 million in DVD sales.
http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/weekly/thisweek.php
Here's a list of DVD sales. I think I'm being generous to Tuck assuming his movie moves somewhere around 600k total copies.
You'll see that most movies average closer to $15 per sale than $20.
That list is funny...
The Sandlot, and Twister still hold spots on it, after 10 years in release in Twisters case.
The ones that command the $20 range are movies like Twilight, Transformers, Harry Potter, blockbusters in other words.
Of the 30 on that list only 3 have more than 60 million in total sales. (And of course on DVDs, the studio takes a cut, sales tax, retailer, manufacturer, actor royalties, etc, etc on down the line, so getting 60 million in sales doesn't mean the "owner" is banking that)
http://www.the-numbers.com/dvd/charts/annual/2009.php
I don't see a single movie on this list I think that IHTSBIH could beat.
tucker max is a liar and a douchebag, everything else is just semantics at the end of the day.
don't lose sight of that my fellow shit-cocks!
Every time I see "FOX", I think: "Megan Fox"
Just thought I'd share that.
You know, I really wonder what the guys at Darko think of Tucker's historonics. I mean you gotta figure at this point that can't wait to be rid of him.
"I will await your letter backtracking and asking to open more stores just to distribute my fries once this shit blows up the way we know it will do."
Again, I'm hoping sarcasm at play. It's so hard to tell on these boards now, because even the most ridiculous post can look like Tuckers handiwork.
Nicey ol' buddy ol' pal, your sarcasm detector is badly in need of a tuneup. Every time you've said "I hope that's sarcasm" has been in response to an over-the-top parody.
By the way, I am, as far as I know, neither your buddy nor your pal. Except to the extent of the comradeship generated by anonymously ragging on Tucker.
"You know, I really wonder what the guys at Darko think of Tucker's historonics. I mean you gotta figure at this point that can't wait to be rid of him."
Darko has its own problems. Southland Tales, World's Best Dad? It's early for The Box, but we'll see how Warner markets this low budget horror film. It has Cameron Diaz in it, so we will see. I really don't believe that Darko is pushing Tucker's movie in any way that could adversely affect its own movies.
"Probably?" Bitch, I'm spot on.
What I was going to say was that I was actually shocked by your earlier response. For somebody who has such a narcissistic personality, you also have the ability to (sometimes, but apparently not always) see things from the perspective of others. It's that certain ability that separates the "10 percenters" from the other 90% of the population. As you yourself have said, most people see the world only as they know it, while a small portion of the population can see the world for what it really is.
In this situation, you are being that person who tries to explain things to others, but your knowledge is based on certain understandings that others do not possess. You speak with the assumption that others know the same as you, but they don't. There are a thousand analogies I could use here, but I won't, as I'm sure you know what I mean; you're speaking above the heads of others.
Now, the reason you cannot wrap your head around how other people are thinking is because you are resorting to the narcissistic side of you, and not seeing things from the viewpoint of others. It's not just about how they think; it's also about what they know. The others haven't seen the trailer. They haven't seen the movie. They haven't been behind the scenes with the different meetings, deals, etc. that have occurred during the various phases of this movie. What they have, though, are assumptions based on what they know - as opposed to what they don't know. They also know what others are saying, and as of yet, you haven't refuted some of the statements made by the haterz (except to say they should be ignored because they are just haters.) So, these are people that fall into the 90% of the population whose understanding is based only on what they know, or want to believe, and not what really is. You really can't fault them for that, though. It would be like kicking a dog for eating your slippers; it's not their fault, it's what they do."
This RMB post has to be from someone who is just playing with Tucker on his own message board. It is funny on some many levels. "Tucker, you're a narcissist who sees the wold from other people's perspectives." IOW, Tucker, you're an obese POS who eats like a skinny fit person. This is so freaking funny.
Minor Internet Movie Reviewer: Could we, uh... talk to Tucker Max?
Nils: Hey, man, you don't talk to the Tucker. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in a corner, and he'll say, "do you know that 'if' is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you"... I mean I'm no, I can't... I'm a little man, I'm a little man, he's... he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas..."
Honestly, this is where the Message Board is heading.
Nils: I wish I had words, man. I wish I had words... I can tell ya something like the other day he wanted to kill me. Somethin' like that...
Internet Movie reviewer: Why'd he wanna kill you?
Nils: Because I took his picture. He said "If you take my picture again, I'm gonna kill you." And he *meant* it
Tucker should get together with Sarah Palin. They could discuss what heroic visionaries they both are, and commiserate about all the jealous haters who are pathologically obsessed with bringing them down.
XOXO
- Cute Feminist
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