The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 5801 – 6000 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Tucker Max's myspace movie page has 624 friends:
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
If each one of the fans buys a $10,000 ticket, then Tucker will be able to pay Donnie Darko Doucho back.
The twilight movie has over 1,000 times the fans as Tucker--652231 .
Also, Twilight has hundreds of fan site. Tucker has one--run by Tucker Max & Kungfu Mike.
And another thing is that Tucker's fan base is getting old. Who wants to market to a bunch of aging douchebags who are losing their hair and getting fatter than nils? Tucker is soooo 2002.
"Tucker Max's myspace movie page has 624 friends:
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
If each one of the fans buys a $10,000 ticket, then Tucker will be able to pay Donnie Darko Doucho back."
Hahahah haha. True that.
Think about all the Duke douchebag MBAs at viacom who must sell their souls so as to destroy true, epic, exalted literature and replace it with secret tapings of anal sex.
Hahahaha. hah ha hahah ha.
Matt Douchesky and Jessica Bradford have no careers now.
They drank the douche-aid.
Bets on how long it takes before that page quietly disappears to avoid explanations of why there are so few people interested?
I love how you haters are getting awfully quiet these days as it seems IHTSBIH is going to be huge. There's even talk of an Oscar for the script.
The film played in Cannes to soldout shows. An unknown American comedy had them laughing in France. Think about how this is going to roll out in the states.
It's 'haterz'
"There's even talk of an Oscar for the script."
No there isn't.
"The film played in Cannes to soldout shows."
No it didn't.
"An unknown American comedy had them laughing in France."
That never happened.
"Think about how this is going to roll out in the states."
To as many theaters as Mr. Lonely.
I would be genuinely interested if IHTSBIH did really, really well in Cannes like the Tucker fan has stated. But I've looked for some kind of report or article about IHTSBIH at Cannes and can find nothing. Do you have any proof to back up your claims, Tucker fan?
Tucker is such a fucking lying douchebag. His piece of shit film didn't play at Cannes.
Here's a link to a page that shows ALL of the films screened at Cannes, both in competition, out of competition, and otherwise:
http://www.festival-cannes.fr/en/archives/2009/allSelections.html
Notice that IHTSBIH is nowhere to be found.
Maybe Tucker isn't out and out lying.
Maybe he (or whomever) rented a theater in the city of Cannes for a night to show his vanity project, so technically, he's being truthful when he says, "Yes, we showed the movie at Cannes".
But my money would say that he's 100% making this shit up. I mean that's what he did with all of his stories, so why not?
He knows that his fanbase is too fucking stupid to question the veracity of any statement made by their hero. Unfortunately for Tucker not everyone is that gullible.
So let's review:
There is no mention of IHTSBIH anywhere on the official website of the Cannes film festival.
Tucker's "evidence" consists of nothing other than unsourced e-mails that he probably wrote himself.
A Google search of "I hope they serve beer in hell"+cannes shows NOTHING other than Tucker's page mentioning that it was shown.
In summation, the Douchebag is lying, and his mongoloid fanboys are buying it hook, line, and sinker.
Tucker's film did indeed screen in Cannes. Not as part of the festival. He never said that. Ever.
Cannes is also a place where thousands of film distrubutors go to acquire new films. Films are screened around the clock for foreign distributors.
A cheesy film with Carmen Electra and Ed Asner on the poster holding guns could sell the rights to South America for 200k. And get another 50k for the exclusive right to be screened in Romainia.
Tucker has never implied that the film was in compettion in Cannes.
The screenings were strictly business. The fact that the film blew peoples doors off was just icing on the cake. A very large cake that is owned, in fact, by the good Dr. Max ;)
^
Nice try, you already got called out on your bullshit on Cannes.
Let's hear about the Oscar. Seriously... there are lies, and there are "Tucker Max lies".
^ Just like there is fail, and then there is "Tucker Max Fail"
If Tucker's movie is screening so well all the fucking time, then why has the HSX stock been consistently falling?
http://movies.hsx.com/servlet/SecurityDetail?symbol=IHTSB&day_span=all&field=
THIS WEEK /\ H$2.85 \/ H$2.59
THIS MONTH /\ H$3.63 \/ H$2.59
THIS SEASON /\ H$5.32 \/ H$2.46
THIS YEAR /\ H$10.78 \/ H$2.46
Guys, everything you predict turns out false. Do you not see that? You're insane.
This movie will be about as big as American Pie: Beta House
superflous 18-25 co-ed extras
and predictable humor at every turn.
And he is so cocky about this movie. If its so good and already edited than why not have at least a teaser or something?
And have you noticed that when you watch those crew interviews they seem so uncomfortable and just say shit like "We're doing our best with what we have" What does that even mean?
He needs to drop this phony "I'm alpha, I'm a best selling author that writes about whimsical drunk stories and always getting away with being an asshole cause I run the Tucker Max show".
Oh there will be beer in hell, Tucker, except its my fermented STD urine.
So I just read the script. You can get it online just google the movie title and what not.
I don't really read scripts so I don't know how they are really suppose to read but shit This is horrible
The jokes are so lame and it seems he sold out his book big-time
Most of the dialogue comes from other stories apart from the Austin Road trip. It feels rather boring.
And some of it just down-right offensive just to let us know that indeed Tucker is an asshole. There was nothing that compelling about it cause its so obvious.
The character development is so fucking predictable. Its funny how his friends are the stupid ones to follow him along yet they get pissed off at him for taking them to the strip bar near the end. This is followed by Tucker coming to the realization that he is indeed an asshole and he needs to be nicer to his friends.
So yea its awful but you never know maybe the actors bring it to life.
BIG NEWS!
Tomorrow Tucker is going to announce that he is going to announce that he is going to announce that he is going to announce that he is going to announce that he is going to announce that he is going to announce his douchetribution deal!
Or maybe he'll just lie about Cannes.
Big day either way.
"Guys, everything you predict turns out false. Do you not see that? You're insane.
5/27/2009 4:17 PM"
Oh, yeah, Tucker's predictions always pan out.
i predict that tucker will be a douchebag
pw3d
Funny how the producer's of the movie decided not to let Tucker tag along to Cannes to sell HIS MOVIE!!!
tucker is such a loser
www.arthurkade.com
They're making fun of this guy at TMMB...ironic when you think about it...
Was Arthur Kade too busy to star as Tucker in IHTSBIH?
He's at least douchetastic enough for the role.
Wait, let me guess, he has all his hair and was disqualified from being given the shot to be the James Bond of the frat boy set.
Tucker Max's myspace movie page has 624 friends (broseph douchebags):
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
If each one of the fans buys a $10,000 ticket, then Tucker will be able to pay Donnie Darko Doucho back the $6,000,000. This does not include all the marketing expenses.
The twilight movie has over 1,000 times the fans as Tucker--652231 .
Also, Twilight has hundreds of fan sites. Tucker has one--run by Tucker Max & Kungfu Mike.
And another thing is that Tucker's fan base is getting old. Who wants to market to a bunch of aging douchebags who are losing their hair and getting fatter than nils while their x-girlfriends are talking about people putting their thumbs into their anuses while in rehab? Tucker is soooo 2002.
Arthur isn't douchey enough to play tucker.
http://arthurkade.com/
it's funny how both the economy and tucker max are collapsing, as like the duke and u of c professors, all are a product of the fiat dollar which must kill the osul so as to maintain its value.
yes--the federal reserve created tucker max at duke and u of c to poke his tiny cock into women's anuses and rob them of their souls. don't believe me? why is bunny in rehab?
Bunny isn't in rehab, she's being deprogrammed.
TUCKER MAX IS A LIAR!!! HIS FILM DID NOT PLAY AT THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL!!!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22beer+in+hell%22+site%3Awww.festival-cannes.fr&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
Your search - "beer in hell" site:www.festival-cannes.fr - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.
Try fewer keywords.
taking a page straight out of tim ferriss's book, tucker is spamming the internet with phony mentions of his screenplay:
http://goldderbyforums.latimes.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/2246025764/m/557107282?r=577109282#577109282
eah, I don't really "follow" his films, so I wouldn't know his kind of style, but when I saw the trailer, it caught my eye as something "interesting."
2010 Oscars FYC:
Lead Actor - Morgan Freeman, The Human Factor
Lead Actress - Carey Mulligan, An Education
Supporting Actor - Richard Kind, A Serious Man
Supporting Actress - Mo'Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
Adapted Screenplay - Tucker Max & Nils Parker, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
TUCKER MAX IS A LIAR!!! HIS FILM WAS SNOT SCREENED AT CANNES!!!
TUCKER MAX IS A LIAR!!! HIS FILM DID NOT PLAY AT THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL!!!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22beer+in+hell%22+site%3Awww.festival-cannes.fr&btnG=Search&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
Your search - "beer in hell" site:www.festival-cannes.fr - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords.
Try fewer keywords.
Let's all just calm down here. I'm sure Tucker has an explanation for everything.
*turns expectantly towards Tucker and waits*
Listing of 2009 Cannes Festival films, in Competition and otherwise:
http://www.festival-cannes.fr/en/archives/2009/allSelections.html
BIH isn't on the list. Tucker's blog says:
"...the decision was made by Darko to take the movie to Cannes and screen the movie for buyers."
Screening a movie for distributors in Cannes (the city) during the time of the Cannes Festival is an eloquent display of disinformation. This is like me driving to the Indy 500 and telling people I drove at Indy.
I now officially believe that the "bocaboy7" post mentioned by Tucker here:
http://goldderbyforums.latimes.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/2246025764/m/557107282
...is actually Ryan Holiday. He's been posting there for an entire month, awaiting his moment to drop a deuce of further disinformation.
tucker's a lying douchebag.
i remember when i drove at the nascar coca-cola 500.
i drove there, parked in the parking lot, and drove home after the race.
just like tucker showed his movie at cannes, except it wasn't in cannes and he wasn't there and it isn't a movie, but just douche with no douchestribution.
tucke writesL
-How many theaters/screens?
No idea. We may do a slow roll out, and hit the 50 major markets first before going super wide. We may just go straight wide. This will be figured out in the next few weeks, but if you live near a big city or college town, you should be covered fine from the get go.
hahahah--maybe zero screens. distribution with zero screens is cool.
-When does the marketing start?
You mean aside from the marketing I've been doing for over a year on this blog and other places? Well, you will see a media push start about a month out, and the big media dump about ten days out from release. Commercials, print ads, billboards, all that shit starts light in August, and gets heavier as we get closer to September 25th.
billboards. hahahah ha. notice that there will be no trailers shown in movie theaters.
-When is the trailer coming out?
Start to ask about it again on July 4th--if it's not out by then, we missed our internal deadline to have it done. Hopefully this will be the first deadline we hit on time.
imagine if star trek or terminator forgot to make a trailer ontime.
hahhahaha hahah.
i can see christain bale and McG "hopefully we will make a trailer on time!"
ha hahahah hahaha
looks like he got douchetribution with no douchestributor worth mentioning.
ha haha h ahaha h ahahahh ha.
let me see if I can clear this up once and for all. We never said the movie played in competition at Cannes. It was screened there for foreign distributors.
We are only concerned primarily with domestic distribution. Any money we get from foreign markets will be gravy. Much welcomed by the 15 of us who have points on the backend.
You people are so stupid my brain hurts. Get a life already.
isn't it funny how much tucker reads this blog, reloading it every five minutes?
we have a big surprise coming up too. :)
is it just me noticing this, or does every one of tucker's posts seem to begin with, "dear tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com."
he cares more about us than his fans, as his fans eat his shit.
and even though he is mostly feminine, at the end of the day real men love honor more than money, sycophancy, and bunny sluts.
hahahaha. they don't teach this at duke and u of c. hahahah ha.
the film played at cannes without playing at cannes and now he has douchestribution with apparently no douchetributor.
if tucker wants to get rich writing comedy, just let a camera follow him.
yes--global douchestribution with maybe 50, a billion, or zero theaters and no named douchestributor.
the good thing about getting douchestributin with no douchestributor and zero theaters is that there is no need for a trailer.
seems that they could have saved $6,000,000+ by not making the movie in the first place.
but if they hadn't spent $6,000,000 on the movie, how would they have then a) not shown it at cannes and b) not made the trailer and c) distributed it nationwide in zero theaters with a nameless/noname distributor?
you're just jealous because your movie didn't play at cannes either and you're not man enough to lie about it and tell everyone it did.
let me see if I can clear this up once and for all. We never said the movie played in competition at Cannes. It was screened there for foreign distributors.
We are only concerned primarily with domestic distribution. Any money we get from foreign markets will be gravy. Much welcomed by the 15 of us who have points on the backend.
You people are so stupid my brain hurts. Get a life already.There are also non-competition films playing at the Cannes Festival. Did the BIH screening have anything whatsoever to do with the current Cannes Festival, or did the screening simply happen in the city of Cannes? There's a huge difference, and the wording would suggest some involvement with the Festival.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=832104&postcount=54
Quoting boy wonder here: "WE SHOWED THE FUCKING MOVIE AT CANNES FOR FUCKS SAKE."
Let's try that sentence another way: "WE SHOWED THE FUCKING MOVIE AT CHICAGO FOR FUCKS SAKE."
Would you say "at Chicago" or "in Chicago". When Tucker says "at Cannes" he's implying the Festival. His film isn't on the Festival list. Which means he's shown it "in Cannes" with the hopes people will presume participation with the Festival. This kind of manipulation might be why Shakespeare wrote, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
So, now that he has distribution, what other failure are you guys going to fixate upon for months, that will eventually be proven false?
Who cares if it was in the festival or not. IHTSBIH screened at Cannes. Thet right there in and of itself is a major factor toward the potential for the film.
Haterz are the suck.
my favorite part is that Tucker or one of the "15 people with points on the backend" of IHTSBIH comes here more than any of the haterz ... just to prove us wrong of course. so nobody has a life? nobody at all?
good point Anonymous 5/28, 9:07 p.m.
Get the script right here:
http://rapidshare.com/files/135879102/IHTSBIH.pdf.html
pretty awful
The thing is, no matter how you look at it, Tucker has a much richer history of lies and failure than he does of truth-telling and success. Check the box office, bitch.
Look, the movie will come out. Darko got Southland Tales released and they'll do it with this. It's more a matter of Tucker living up to his own hype. Even an ounce of genuine humbleness (not the faked crap "for the fans") in regards to the movie would be nice.
I'm just amazed at the level of overcompensation coupled with bad marketing across the board that this has so far.
It's based off a book that has a significant amount of spelling, grammatical, and printing errors in the first edition.
If you look at any major or minor entertainment website (Variety, THR, Coming Soon, Imdb, etc.) there is no mention of the release date posted, which is a scant four or so months away. Darko Entertainment does not have the "official" release up yet as well.
Now, that doesn't mean the movie won't come out on that day. I'm just saying that as brand management goes, Tucker Max.. well, Tucker Max Fails.
"Assholes Finish First" website still says the book is coming out Fall 2008. Lack of control. What most likely is the script came out and was mocked by people, though that could slightly work in his favor. Still, lack of control. The OSU story gained ZERO traction news wise or blog wise outside of the local area, other than Feministing, Gawker, and this blog. Meaning, no guarantee of word of mouth outside a few sources. Lack of control. Also, the protest just used him as an example - if Michael Savage showed up the same time instead of Tucker, the same protest with the same goals would have occurred. He was just a poorly paid target. Lack of control, even in the face of badly implemented direct action.
I just find it hard to believe that this will happen without some major disaster, like the tour derailing nearly completely or the trailer coming out in late July or early August.
And unless the distributor sucks or plans are really still being "finalized," we can only assume whoever it is doesn't want their name out there yet so they can conduct a few test studies of their own on his "brand."
Everyone else involved in the movie is being sunk by this guy and they need to distance themselves. I'm not a "hater," I'm more concerned of the poisonous influence this moron has on privileged white kids who think they can go around getting women drunk and fuck over their friends. Its cultish and pretty weird, to be honest.
The distributor is "The Collective" according to: http://www.hollywood.com/movie/I_Hope_They_Serve_Beer_in_Hell/5248526
Here's a news article about it:
http://www.screendaily.com/the-collective-acquires-i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell/4038278.article
Maybe the distributor changed over the last year, but the article date above is April, 2008. Also, the Hollywood.com has The Collective as the distributor? Is it possible TM was bullshitting the whole time? So unlike him.
^^Best post this blog has seen in quite some time. I totally agree.
(Talking about the 5:02 post, by the way)
TUCKER IS SMART TO NOT MAKE A TRAILER. THEN EVERYONE WOULD SEE HOW MUCH THE MOVIE SUCKS FOR FREE.
why does maddox hang out with a douchebag?
tucker must be paying him viacom cash to hang with him.
tucker represents the end of an entire era.
doucebaggery
fiat inflation
the federal reserve
feminism (tucker agrees with feminists & the federal reserve bankers that women should slut it up so the feds can destroy the family)
viacom douchebaggery
duke and u of c douchebaggery
http://weblogs.variety.com/thompsononhollywood/2008/08/tucker-max-and.html?query=i+hope+they+serve+beer+in+hell
The thing that is most entertaining is when people who are actually in the know and have a real stake in the movie peruse this insane site and see posts like these:
Anonymous said...
the film played at cannes without playing at cannes and now he has douchestribution with apparently no douchetributor.
if tucker wants to get rich writing comedy, just let a camera follow him.
5/28/2009 7:13 PM
Anonymous said...
yes--global douchestribution with maybe 50, a billion, or zero theaters and no named douchestributor.
5/28/2009 7:16 PM
And they laugh and laugh because some random who lives somewhere in the country and is totally disconnected from everything is speaking as if he understands how Anything works. Like he is "in the biz" or has an "inside line". It's funny, a little strange and sad, but mostly funny.
^^ that's hilarious that tucker and viacom and donnie doucho read this site more than they read tucker's. Guess they must love truth more than money and douche. Too bad they forgot toinvest in it and live for it.
People who are "actually in the know" tend to know better than to get involved with a shit sandwich project like this one.
There are a million shitty movies out there. Maybe this will be one million and one. Maybe not. I don't really care.
This is what I know:
1. Tucker Max has never contributed anything of genuine value to the art world, the entertainment world, or any other world.
2. He is long past his prime. The garbage he puts out has no place in the current zeitgeist.
3. He is pathetic. His transparency and astonishing lack of self-awareness are both sad and amusing.
wow
i haven't visited this site in a long ass time but it is great to see you weirdos still here and interested in this guy's life.
i really have to wonder if this blog was just set up by tucker to gain more fans, even if they are negatives.
and judging by my reading of these posts....."viacom guy", man....you need to grow up.
When no one will have sex with you, you have a lot of time on your hands to play around in blogspot comment sections.
^ Yeah, well at least I'm not the one lying about getting distribution.
Hey, when you find out he's not lying about distribution, what are you going to fixate upon next that won't come true, like all the fixations that have not come true this year?
^^ Who cares if he DOES get distribution? Tucker's just a product of the twisted postmodern mentality that if there's an audience for something, it must be worthwhile.
There's a HUGE market for heroin; I guess that makes it worthwhile.
You see where I'm going with this.
that's so funny that tucker's employees love this blog and cannot live without it. at the end of the day, even the debauched long for the truth that sets their souls free, while tucker's lies emprision and enslave them to viacom's bottom line.
to the anonymous poster commenting on how anonymous posters in blogspot blogs aren't getting laid enough: you do realize how your comment reflects on you, right?
and me as well, I suppose. I freely admit I'm not getting laid enough though.
What critics of this blog fail to take into account is that, while most people who post here dislike Tucker and regard him as a barely qualified member of the human race, we still find him entertaining. This holds whether his movie succeeds or fails.
Even if Tucker's film does get screened it is unlikely to gross the huge box office receipts and critical plaudits that its deluded architect believes are coming his way.
Any exposure that the movie does earn is going to draw unflattering comparisons between the version of Tucker portrayed on the screen and the pitifully unfunny real-life specimen, whose only talents are the ability to fool people long enough to get them to part with their money, and an eye for surrounding himself with easily victimised people who, when pushed, won’t push back.
If the movie succeeds in a significant way the ghosts of Tucker’s past are going to rise up to haunt him: The Rudius Media shitstorm, the factual discrepancies in his allegedly true stories, The Opie & Anthony debacle, the entry in his production blog where he brags about filming his unsuspecting assistant being rendered unconscious after being placed in a chokehold.
Tucker is banking on the movie earning him the kind of influence and fuck you money that will keep him insulated from the consequences of his past actions. I don’t think it’s going to happen. He’s setting himself up for the biggest pratfall of his life.
If the movie tanks then it will be less funny, but it will still be funny. As others here have already mentioned, Tucker is the kind of person who comes out of bad situations relatively unscathed. Where there is glory he takes it. Failure is someone else’s responsibility. It’s the fragile people around him who will suffer more in the long-term.
we don't find tucker entertaining.
that is why we never visit his site, but only come here.
what we find entertaining is the federal reserve's attempt to detsory freedom, truth, and beuaty, and remake the world in the image of the debauched dollar.
tucker's failure happens to coincide with the fed's, as they, viacom, duke, u of c, and tucker are different heads of the same tiny-cocked beast.
"we", kemosabe?
so why did tucker announce distribution without naming a distributor?
that's like announcing to your friends that you're getting married without saying to whom.
how come tucker never, never, never speaks out against all the bailouts and government and corproate corruption?
http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/107459-0/
^^ Who cares if he DOES get distribution? WAY TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR ONLY SELF-RIGHTEOUS VENT SOURCE.
Tucker's just a product of the twisted postmodern mentality that if there's an audience for something, it must be worthwhile.
OH PROTECTOR OF ALL THINGS GOOD PLEASE CONTINUE IN YOUR UNENDING FIGHT TO CHANGE THE WORLD, ONE BLOGSPOT COMMENT AT A TIME.
There's a HUGE market for heroin; I guess that makes it worthwhile.
SMUG IS THE LEADING KILLER OF SELF-RIGHTEOUS INTERNET NERDS WHO HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST LIVING LIFE. HATE IS GOOD. UP IS DOWN. PEOPLE ARE STRANGE WHEN YOU'RE A STRANGE. FACES LOOK UGLY WHEN YOU'RE ALONE. WOMEN SEEM WICKED WHEN YOUR UNWANTED.
You see where I'm going with this.
HAHA, CHARADE YOU ARE. YOU LIKE THE FEEL OF STEEL. YOU'RE HOT STUFF WITH A HAT PIN. AND GOOD FUN WITH A HANDGUN. YOU'RE NEARLY A LAUGH BUT YOU'RE REALLY A CRY. YOU'RE NEARLY A REAL TREAT. ALL TIGHT LIPS AND COLD FEET. AND DO YOU FEEL ABUSED?
5/30/2009 3:03 AM
that is so cool that tucker is out there living life and making fun of asians and fat girls and filming secretive tapings of anal sex and lying about donut shops/police reports and lying about having his film play at cannes.
I FORGOT THAT YOU HAD TO CAPITALIZE TO MAKE A VALID POINT. THANKS FOR THE REMINDER.
Tucker writes, "Yes, we showed the movie in Cannes - May 27, 2009"
Ha! hahahah ha hah ha haahah ha!
Liar. No record on the cannes website of any such event.
Boy is he getting desparate with his shitty douchetribution deal.
His movie page has 623 friends.
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
Ha. haa h ahaha ha.
douche and secret tapings of anal sex are soooooo 2002.
btw--who is douchetributing the movie? youtube?
this page is the who's who of the butt-ugly girls on myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
that is fucking hilarious!
this page is the who's who of the butt-ugly girls on myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/ihtsbih
that is fucking hilarious!
It's a lie.
His film wasn't screened at Cannes.
Nobody from the movie outside of the executive producers were there to "promote" IHTSBIH. Not Tucker, not Nils, not Bob Gosse, nobody from the cast, not even the steadicam operator.
The Collective (which is basically a couple of the producers from Darko) went there with ONE COPY of the movie to show to potential distributors in Europe, they also brought along EVERY SINGLE FILM THAT THEY HAVEN'T SOLD YET.
For the record, not one non-American market has picked up distribution for IHTSBIH. Not Europe, not Asia, not Australia.
The cries of "Matt Who-cry??" came from many a few hotel rooms in Cannes this year.
"Look, the movie will come out. Darko got Southland Tales released and they'll do it with this. It's more a matter of Tucker living up to his own hype. Even an ounce of genuine humbleness (not the faked crap "for the fans") in regards to the movie would be nice/"
5/29/2009 5:02 AM
Apples and Oranges
Southland Tales had name stars and was the follow up film for a very successful indie/cult film. Of course it was going to get distribution even if the film was almost completely inaccessible by just about all 10000 people who saw it in theaters.
What's funny about this blog is the level of paranoia that exists on both sides of the debate.
In all honestly, I have no clue if Tucker Max looks at this blog and would even know who the fuck TAT Guy, Viacom Guy, the Military Wives Guy, or that new dude who supposedly got his email highjacked by Tucker would be. It's like that guy at the OSU talk who introduced himself by his RMMB (TMMB) avatar name. Weird and cultish, as I've said before.
The movie is the biggest gamble this guy has done, simply because it involves too many people. He can lie about his stories when no one can confirm them, but he's raised the bar way too high on this one and involved too many people who he can bring down.
Simply put, through the sheer force of his will it'll either succeed or fail. Like I've said before, it is based on the "Tucker Max Brand" and my central point is that it is unsustainable. Guys who are 24 think its "cool" what he did when he was their age but think its fucking pathetic if he keeps that up. I had that conversation today. None of the guys in the bar I was working at had a clue a movie was coming out, yet had read the book.
Lack of control. He has as much control of his brand as he supposedly did of his bowels in the Embassy Suites. Tucker Max can't update webpages in a cohesive manner, can't get a broad based marketing strategy together other than "Dude, look at this YouTube of people talking about the movie," (YAWN), and some shitty merchandise that anyone could CafePress. Lack of control.
I liked the point someone made about the moving failing, how he'll just blame someone else. I don't doubt it and that's what is sad about the whole thing - for all his degrees, for all the books he's read, for all the women he's supposedly been with, and with all the money this guy supposedly gets.... he's still a whiny jackass who has a Napoleon complex.
And anyone who brags that much needs to have a counterpoint. That is why I check out this blog.
- LoC
bring down tucker max
I don't see why he has to have a movie, the book was just about getting drunk, being an asshole and hooking up.
Thats all been done before, not that original
And stop calling it fucking art.
It's art like how some people consider a woman fucking a donkey in Tijuana "art".
if you're as big a douchebag as tucker max, the last thing you want to make is a trailer, let alone an entire movie saying to the world, "HEY! I AM A DOUCHEBAG!!!"
Tucker Max didn't even realize he was creating "art" until he go his movie deal. Up until then, his stories were just made up stories to his friends. Now, they're just made up stories captured on film (which is a step up from a made up story lost on film).
that it's evoked this much emotion makes it art by definition.
that's it's by tucker max makes it shitty art.
again, it is not tucker's max's writings which this blog discusses, but his douchebaggery.
nobody reads the stories here. they are boring and made up. what is fascinating is the corproate-state's utilization of tcuker's tiny cock to serve viacom's bottom line as the pennies trickle in and they rub their tiny little hands, considering themesleves to be great artists as they receive individual pennies for promoting secret tapings of anal sex and tiny-cocked douchebaggery.
that is the theme of this blog--not tucker's silly stories.
we keep referencing Tucker's small body parts, but does his diminutive stature really matter? If Tucker was hung like a horse, would we like him any better? Would he be a better human being if he had large, catcher-mitt sized hands? Or would he still be the same bag of douche we love to hate and hate to love?
You know... if tucker didn't have small hands, didn't have a lisp, if his mother wasn't an alcoholic slut... maybe tucker wouldn't need to overcompensate, maybe he wouldn't be a douchebag.
And let us not forget the wide hips, like an old Russian grandmother.
Part of what some of you say makes Tucker so bad is that he makes fun of asians, and fat people, and women in bars, and he ridicules how people look. So part of your response is to bring up that he has small hands? For one thing it doesn't appear that his hands are any smaller than normal to me. I was watching this speech just now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=303UJ3VePo0
and his hands appear normal, his hips appear normal...but thats not really the point. The point is that you seem to judge on appearance and ridicule appearance just like Tucker Max. All thats really left is for you to make money off of it, and call it art.
^^^ don't I just wish I could make money by artistically mocking Tucker Max. When you figure out the business model for that, post it here so we can do this full-time and get paid to do so
Tucker's schtick is running low
^^^ Well, you could start by emailing info on Tucker's movie to the godhatesfags.com people. I want to see them come out and picket the movie's premier.
Attention reporters. Please Google "tucker max liar" "tucker max fake" "tucker max owned" "tucker max douche" "tucker max lies"
http://www.hollywoodfail.com/2009/02/tucker-max-is-giant-liar-with-movie.html
http://www.penguinblogs.ca/davidson/archives/00000079.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAbreeMofRg
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2008/09/tucker_max_fan_accused_of_rape.php
http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/2006/01/tucker-max-is-douchebag.html
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/a-z-of-rudius-part-2.html
http://gawker.com/5043697/tucker-max-calls-out-gawker
why would they do that? what story would they write? "liar's lies turn out to be lies"? oh joy
let the reporters go back to pretending to be important in white house press conferences
Why hasn't there been an announcement about IHTSBIH getting picked up for distribution in any trade magazine?
"Why hasn't there been an announcement about IHTSBIH getting picked up for distribution in any trade magazine?
6/01/2009 8:47 AM"
Because it's so cutting-edge and revolutionary that the world doesn't even KNOW how huge this is going to be. Tucker's revolutionizing EVERYTHING.
Maybe Tucker has already revolutionized the concept of a revolution, and the new concept of revolution is so revolutionary that we can't tell a revolution is happening! And Tucker is doing it! And it's composed entirely of douche! Douche: revolution for a new generation.
If Tucker's movie actually gets wide distribution, I will look foward to gleefully reading all the terrible reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. And then I will smoke a joint and fuck my boyfriend, because I am a hot girl who gets laid as often as she wants. And then I will work on my own screenplay, which is entertaining and good. Because it's quite possible to spend five minutes a day reading this blog at work, and still lead a happy and productive life.
Distributor: Freestyle Releasing
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=ihopetheyservebeerinhell.htm
Release: 450 screens
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/schedule/?view=bydate&release=theatrical&date=2009-09-25&p=.htm
Competition opening weekend:
- Fame
- The Invention of Lying
- Surrogates
Too bad there isn't an opening film called Ironical as well... would have capped that off nicely.
Ha, ha, ha... once again, While Tuckster dicks around and takes months to announce something, the sleuths at The Doucebag Blog have scooped him.
happy and productive life = spending five minutes reading and commenting TMD, smoking joints, and getting fucked.
This is what the matriarchs of women's lib dreamed about.
I don't think that the matriarchs of women's lib would have a problem with the fact that I enjoy rooting for Tucker Max's demise, getting high, fucking my boyfriend, and writing my own screenplays, which happen to be feminist in nature.
^^^ Keep talking about smoking pot and having sex, but go into more detail. Describe your outfit....
I don't generally wear outfits when I'm having sex.
Wait. What happened with Fox saerchlight?
FREESTYLE RELEASING?
Friday / 9/25 NEW IN THEATERS
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(Comedy) Freestyle Releasing 450 theaters.
450 theaters is huge for an indie. And, this is a slow rollout as well.
Would have expected 50 theaters to start. 450 is a solid confident number for a 6 million dollar movie.
They are doing 50 to start, remember the Premiere Tour? 450 is the wide release. As per Dick Cheney, torture is not torture if you call it enhanced interrogation techniques. A 50 screen opening is not a 50 screen opening if you call it a Premiere Tour. Perhaps screening BIH at Gitmo for prisoners instead of waterboarding them will get Amnesty of the U.S. administration's back... or maybe not.
With 450 screens, approximately 7000 people are going to have to go to every theater playing the movie (assuming an 8 dollar ticket) in order for Tucker to get his 25 million dollar opening weekend.
BIH reminds me of Tyler Perry's series. No one even knew who he was yet all his movies open at number one.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=madeasfamilyreunion.htm
6 million budget on Tyler's first led to 30,000,000 opening weekend.
Twilight swept MTV awards last night. There are many crossover factors in both Twilight and BIH that point to huge returns. How many here think BIH will sweep MTV Awards next year?
-How does this affect The IHTSBIH Premiere Tour?
Since lots of schools start in mid-August, we are going to start the tour in late August and run it all the way up to the release, and maybe even a week or two past the release. We are figuring where we are stopping and when right now, and will post that info ASAP.
-How many theaters/screens?
No idea. We may do a slow roll out, and hit the 50 major markets first before going super wide. We may just go straight wide. This will be figured out in the next few weeks, but if you live near a big city or college town, you should be covered fine from the get go.
-When does the marketing start?
You mean aside from the marketing I've been doing for over a year on this blog and other places? Well, you will see a media push start about a month out, and the big media dump about ten days out from release. Commercials, print ads, billboards, all that shit starts light in August, and gets heavier as we get closer to September 25th.
-When is the trailer coming out?
Start to ask about it again on July 4th--if it's not out by then, we missed our internal deadline to have it done. Hopefully this will be the first deadline we hit on time.
6000 douches?
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell from Freestyle Releasing rolls out on 450 screens to steal $25,000,000 box office weekend
Tucker Max brand launches as sequel deal inked!
Haterz of envious blog commit mass suicide.
Any word from the film's director Bob Gosse?
Here's one fan that will miss the first weekend.
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2008/09/tucker_max_fan_accused_of_rape.php
UConn Student and Tucker Max Fan Accused of Rape, Home Invasion
Posted at 4:32 PM Sep 14, 2008
Author and moviemaker Tucker Max is a pretty brilliant guy. Some time ago, Max took aim at a particular audience on the Web, and with an admirable single-mindedness, he gave them what they wanted. Stories about stupidity, sex, alcohol, more sex, poop, vomiting, liquor (see what I did there?) and did I mention the sex?
Tucker Max became hugely popular with the college crowd. Particularly college-age white boys with a yen for the things Tucker wrote about (often with a great deal of wit) -- you know, the stuff I've already listed above. (I did mention the sex, didn't I?)
I mean hell, here's how Tucker introduces himself: "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole [...] I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead."
What's not to like about that?
The funny thing about "Freestyle Releasing" is how are they still in business?
Their record as a distributor is horrible.
http://www.freestylereleasing.com/library.htm
They were basically the distribution wing for Bob Yari productions (who is bankrupt right now btw). Now they seem to distribute anything., but with usually bad results. I mean, they're the American distributors for Uwe Boll films.
Well, I guess the joke can now be said:
"What does Tucker Max have in common with Uwe Boll?"
Answer: They're both douchebags hacks who share the same distributor.
Answer: They
^^^^^
Nice call on the Uwe Boll/Tucker Max comparison.
Freestyle Releasing is known for giving shitty deals to shitty films. Tucker isn't going to see much money from this.
There is no way this film breaks a half a million.
If that's Freestyle's reputation, maybe that's why Tucker's doing the 50 city Premiere Tour... could be a good way for him to pick up $150 in income. Looks like Freestyle will be doing to Tucker what Tucker did to BC Woods.... just without the patronizing sermon. They won't even bother answering his emails to tell him to fuck off.
I wonder if Tucker was stupid enough to take his points on the net instead of the gross.
Of course it's from gross receipts. Net profit particpants from Lord of the Rings still have yet to see a dime.
^^^ welcome back Tucker
Hey Tucker, what happened to that mega Fox Searchlight deal?
Freestyle Releasing? WTF. Failure isn't revolutionary.
Heh.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=831573&postcount=519
Tucker hates "The Most Interesting Man in the World" commercials. Who saw that one coming? Beuller? Beuller? Tucker's threatened by fictitious competition. TMIMITW is Tucker Max but without the lies, babushka hips, uncontrolled public bodily function and lies. Did I mention the lies?
Go figure, a funny, creative ad campaign where you actually remember the product. No wonder Tucker hates it, it's accomplished and effective. I'd drop $10 to see a TMIMITW movie.... now there's a personality worth paying attention to.
The Tucker fan posting all this information and making predictions for IHTSBIH based on some kind of positive correlation with Twilight is pretty far out there. The differences between Tucker Max's book and the Twilight series are so numerous and significant as to make any comparison between the two -- let alone a comparison of derivative works -- simply laughable.
Besides, the Tucker supporter is missing the point. We hate Tucker, but not because he isn't successful. We hate him because he is a douchebag. Even if IHTSBIH does really, really well and sweeps the MTV movie awards next year (would that finally verify Tucker's writing as serious art?) I don't think anybody here will like him more. Just because somebody is rich that doesn't mean what they produce is "art", it doesn't mean they contribute anything to society and it doesn't give them any intrinsic worth as a human being. A successful douchebag is still a douchebag.
Anyway, KTATAMF
tucker is so full of douche that his new book is going to be stories of secret tapings of enemas to unsuspecting women and nils
There is a VERY STRONG connection between Twilight and BIH.
Both are best selling book aimed at young college-aged adults.
Both have a tremendous word-of-mouth cult following.
Both have been made into films using unknown casts and feature strong type-A male leads.
If you can't see the pattern then no matter how many times I spell it out for you it will all be in vain.
Tucker HATERZ are a lot like the people who use myspace; as in, you're losers, weirdos, stoners, queers, disloyal and from broken homes, high school educated, lower-income
Tucker FANZ are like Facebook; people who are socially acceptable, from good families, educated, sportsminded, goal-oriented, affluent, mostly caucasian, driven
You'll never understand us or why we always win.
Tucker won, you didn't.
TMIMINW uses neither Facebook nor MySpace. Stay thirsty my friends.
tucker is so full of douche that his new book is going to be stories of secret tapings of enemas to unsuspecting women and nils
I was very impressed with Fox Searchlight deal. Um, er..but
IMDB page for BIH distributorNever heard of this company.
That company did Artie Lange's Beer League
Anyone see it?
Budget - $2,800,000 (estimated)
Opening Weekend
$275,606 (USA) (17 September 2006) (164 Screens)
$302,908 (USA) (17 September 2006)
Twilight is a hugely successful cult book series about pretty vampires aimed at young girls. Tucker Max's book is a moderately successful cult book about being a douchebag. Aside from "cult" and "book" I see no correlation.
Never heard of the distributor? How about never heard of 90% of the movies they've distributed. This has Tucker Max Fail written all over it.
Tucker, what happened to Fox? Couldn't keep your big mouth shut?
How is Freestyle Releasing the "REALLY REALLY FUCKING AWESOME" distributor option that you were bragging about?
The funnies just keep on rolling.
Tucker's newest 115 Days post is maybe the funniest thing he has ever posted.
Where can we setup an online bet that 90% of the "tasks" on his list will only get partially done.
Tucker Max Fail indeed.
You are going to get mocked mercilessly for a completely justifiable reason: you spelled 'douchebag' wrong in your URL. You idiot! I mean, yeah, Tucker Max wrote hilarious stories that happen to be untrue, but at least learn how to spell the name of your own site.
And since I'm neither Tucker Max nor you, I get to make fun of both of you with impunity. Deal with it.
Yeah, seriously! Tucker Max might in fact be a 'douchebag', but is he a 'doucebag'? What the hell is that? Nice job. Had you spelled that right, you might have truly owned Tucker. Instead, you're just one idiot making fun of another idiot.
a/s/l?
wait, who removed this blog? LULZOMGWTFBBQ
It's true, Tucker Max is Twilight for 17 year old boys.
"Twilight swept MTV awards last night. There are many crossover factors in both Twilight and BIH that point to huge returns. How many here think BIH will sweep MTV Awards next year?"
lol wut
"Tucker HATERZ are a lot like the people who use myspace; as in, you're losers, weirdos, stoners, queers, disloyal and from broken homes, high school educated, lower-income
Tucker FANZ are like Facebook; people who are socially acceptable, from good families, educated, sportsminded, goal-oriented, affluent, mostly caucasian, driven"
i am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter
this blog got pwnt!
??
Hey Tucker fanZ:
Don't you ever get sick of being lied to? Seriously, has Tucker ever said anything to you that has been "100% true" as he claims.
Take for example his distribution deal where he mentioned being distributed by "Fox Searchlight". When somebody talks about the distribution they are getting, but can't mention the name, but then go "cough, cough FOX", you have to admit, that's the direction he is going. Anything else is semantics because he was tipping his hand in that direction.
So then when the truth comes out, that FOX was never in the game and TUcker got distribution by the people who bring you Uwe Boll movies, didn't you get upset?
I mean, you come over here and try and claim that as a victory? But really, are we the ones who are playing you for suckers? Are we the ones who keep telling you things that are evidently untrue as time passes by?
Tucker has become the Dick Cheney of the literary world. Not so much in power, but in the way they tend to say something definitively that never seems to come to pass.
Why does he do this?
Because he is treating you like suckers, and until you break out, he will continually treat you as such, because for all intents and purposes, that's exactly what you are.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That"s just one of a huge number of things he said that either was a 1/2 truth or an out and out lie.
Cannes being the most recent example.
sucks that this blog got shut down.
too bad 99% of the idiots that commented here have no idea what "cache" means in google results.
I love this place!
I'm having my say here
http://fuckermax.blogspot.com
"How's that little bump on your head I gave you in Detroit?"
Hey guys, I don't know what happened, but my blog was deleted for some reason. I guess we were really getting to Tucker Max! The fact that he or one of his cronies would push to delete this blog shows just how pathetic he is. He only became moderately famous by posting stories filled with obviously fabricated details about other people on his own website. However, he could not handle any criticism being thrown his way.
I haven't added any new posts since March 2007, yet he still hated the criticism so much that he had to get this blog deleted. Is there any doubt that Tucker Max is a piece of shit? I hope his crappy movie fails and he is exposed as a fraud.
I created a new blog, "Tucker Max Is A Lying Doucebag" (http://tuckermaxisadouche.blogspot.com/)
I will eventually add all of my posts from the old "Tucker Max Is A Douchebag" blog. I may have trouble finding all of the images that were used on the old blog, so if anyone can find archived versions of those photos, please let me know.
Cockly McBeefwell
^^^ Cockly, why did you create a new profile instead of using your old one?
^^^ I don't remember the password anymore. I think it was saved on an auto-fill password entry on Netscape back in 2006/2007, but my Netscape crashed at some point and I had to upgrade my browser. Unfortunately, my password was lost and I cannot find where I wrote it down. Blogger used to let you sign up for blogs without adding a verification email address. So there is no way for google to email a password to me.
^^^ So have you been following this blog the entire time? What do you think of having some 6000 comments on a two-year-old post? How come you haven't said anything until now?
No, I check in once in awhile, but I have not been commenting because the people who have been commenting here have filled in where I left off. I only set up this blog to get the word out that Tucker Max was full of shit because the websites and other commentary about him in early 2006 was all pro-Tucker.
I couldn't post anything new to this blog because I lost my login/password a couple years ago. I think that this blog must have served its purpose if Tucker Max went to the extraordinary measure of getting it shut down. I seriously would like to know which terms of service I violated, as I assume that was why my blog was deleted.
or maybe because you hadn't posted in 2 years so they thought it was inactive...asshat. Your laziness ruined our fun
YAY! Let the bashing continue, with updated Gawker-ness!
THIS COMMENT THREAD WILL NEVAR DIEEEEEEE
by the power of greyskull i swear it
"[MrQuickFoot:]
Will there or won't there be a sling blade action figure?
[Tucker:]
If the movie does really well, we might do a limited run, for the hardcore fans. Maybe like 1000, numbered and signed by both Jesse and the real SlingBlade or something cool like that."
ahahahahahaha
he's making plans for action figures
hahahahahaha
Tucker's thoughts on Hangover movie, from his site.
"Our movie is nothing like The Hangover except in the vaguest plot descriptions, and in the most important way--humor--its way way better. Like, not even comparable. The worst jokes in our movie kill the best in The Hangover, even ignoring the fact that pretty much all the best lines were in the trailer.
Plus, I am super excited to see that movie do well. It proves the market for our concept--that hard R movies without stars, about guys and drinking are viable--and anything that movie can do at the box office, we can beat. Easily. It's like watching someone fight your opponent first, and you get to see exactly what you are in for.
If there do end up being a lot of comparisons, it will go poorly, but not for us. The Hangover is probably one of the best comedies of the last ten years, but all that means is that comedy has sucked for ten years. The days of being able to pass off dogshit like The Hangover as great comedy end on September 25th. We are going to sweep in out of nowhere and shake up the comedy world. The bar will be raised.
And if you doubt me, that's cool. Stand in line behind all the other the doubters--the ones who said I couldn't be a writer, or my website couldn't be a book, or my book wouldn't be a best seller, or I couldn't write a movie, or I couldn't get that movie made, or I couldn't get the movie distributed, etc, etc, etc. They have been wrong every time in the past, and they will be wrong this time."
Wow, don't know where to begin. Not sure how he can beat a 44 million dollar weekend on 450 screens.
I wonder if there's a newer version of the Beer in Hell script or something- like, if they changed stuff from the second version that was floating around a while back. Could Tucker be so deluded that he believes that terrible script is great comedy? Maybe he knows something we don't.
Watch out! With the brief demise of this blog, Tucker's fan sites have tripled to three! Viva la revolution.
Tucker,
What sort of publicity stunts have you planned for the 30 city tour?
Tucker is now talking to himself on his site.
"Quote:
Originally Posted by Rex_Everything
Whats up with distribution? Word on the intertubes is some DIY studio is releasing and not a major a la Fox Searchlight? Freestyle even has your movie on their website. If they are going public, why aren't you?
I NEVER said Fox Searchlight. I said Fox. Not the same thing at all. They are different companies; Searchlight is a division of Fox. (Incidentally, Fox Searchlight is the studio that made us a huge offer on the script over a year ago though).
And I am not supposed to talk about distribution on the blog until the distributorS and PR people have decided how they want it put in the trades. I have said this like, ten times.
But none of it ultimately matters to any of you: The movie is going to be in theaters on September 25th. That's all that matters to anyone sitting in a seat at a theater. Who ships the film cannester to the local theater is irrelevant to anyone who doesn't have backend points in the movie. Don't think so? Without looking it up, name the distributor of Terminator. Star Trek. The Hangover. Watchmen. Dark Knight. Harry Potter.
Exactly.
If you aren't in the business and care about this shit, you have no idea. All you care about as a fan is the movie itself, and whether or not it is in theaters. What matters is GETTING distribution. Not WHO distributes. No one has ever said, "Who's up to see that new Warner Brothers* movie?"
*People do say that about Pixar movies, but Pixar is a studio, not a distributor. There is a difference."
He created an account to show that he doesn't delete negative posters. Very, very transparent.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=26887
Nobody is going to care who distributes the movie, because nobody cares about the movie.
Fact of the matter is that, yes, he got a movie made, a movie that he produced and "wrote" based on his "100% true stories". Yet nobody cares. It's not even a blip on the radar.
It's a shitty film based on a shitty script. Nobody worth note (I'm not talking to you Traci Lords) is in the movie, because it was a shitty project in the first place.
I really need to meet Tucker and play poker with him, because he is easily one of the worst liars on the planet. He should go into business with Lenny Dykstra.
In fact, I'll go one further, Tucker Max is to literature and art as what Lenny Dykstra is to financial advice.
20th Century Fox home entertainment is likely distributing the DVD (post theatrical). They did the same thing for other Freestyle DIY release failures such as Nobel Son, Bottle Shock, and In the Name of the King.
^^^^^^^^^
Yeah, I can see it now:
"Do you not realize how HUGE this is that we got distribution by FOX? Did you not see how much money that Night In The Museum 2 made for FOX? They obviously thought a lot about our totally awesome movie which is better than any other comedy put out... EVER!!!"
Of course what's not mentioned is that it's the DVD copy which means nothing except that Tucker will be making even less money.
Tucker Mucker Bucker Wucker
What the Bom Bom Bigelow?
Don't forget the soup.
The soup?
You mean, the...
TAINTGUY SOUP????
Tucker says:
"Instead of some crappy plastic bag that you immediately through away, we are spending the money and getting one of those cool bags with strings on each side you can use as a backpack, like the ones you get at the Mac store, except even better quality (fabric instead of plastic). So even the bag itself is going to be usable."
OOH, EVEN THE BAGS ARE USABLE!!!! What a dipshit.
Yeah, cuz, y'know, most bags people give out aren't actually useable as anything, they're just sortof bagshaped, but aren't actually baggy bags, y'know. Like, if you put soup in them, it would just fall out onto the floor. Whereas Tuckerbags, the soup stays right there. In the bag.
^^^And who doesn't enjoy soup? I know I do.
tucker is changing the face of hollywood, I mean usable bags..genius
by pmcdonnell-4 1 day ago (Fri Jun 12 2009 10:52:23)
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
punkinbeer,
"I couldn't imagine a better release date really. School will be in session for practically 100% of all colleges and I can't think of something more appealing to a college student than to go see a movie about drinking and screwing with his/her friends."
You would think. . . . Not. Look at Box Office Mojo for the top college movies. You will see that only two were released anywhere near 9/25. The best ever September release college film was Sydney White, a Universal film distributed on 2100 screens, a wide release, that opened at 5.1 Million and grossed at 12million. The second best college release near that date was "Kicking and Screaming" a Trimline release that opened at $19,000 and grossed $718,000. The rest of the big college movies have been released when all big releases happen, either the summer, or Christmas.
Fortunately, given that your parents have paid more than 30k in most cases for you and your buddies to have fun at that 4 year summer camp we currently call college, you and your cool bros have more fun things to do, than watch a movie about "drinking and screwing." Two of those things might be actually drinking and screwing, which is what all the cool kids will be doing that weekend, rather than watching a movie about fictional characters, drinking and screwing. The other option is to attend one of the many parties that are happening on campus, where there is a possibility of "drinking or screwing."
If college is now a place where kids go to watch movies about college aged kids drinking and screwing, then things have changed since I was there. If I saw 2 movies in a theater while school was in session over 4 years, they were on very slow nights when absolutely nothing else was going on. The only one I actually remember seeing was "Nightmare on Elm Street," which I saw with a girl and a few other couples on a friday night and we were waiting for her parents to leave for a weekend trip and needed to kill time. Although I did not drink that night because it was a long drive, I did "screw." Surprisingly, it did not involve humiliation for either of us, no coercion, and it seemed like both parties had a good time. Further, because I enjoyed it so much and actually liked this girl and enjoyed her company, rather than go back to my dorm and brag, and tell everyone what a slut she was, I kept quiet about it, and went back for more and more. In fact, we were pretty sober every time we "screwed" because it seemed better that way, and she was comfortable enough with herself and with me, that she didn't need to be drunk. It didn't work out and we both moved on, but I remember her a lot more than I remember the plot for the movie, have seen her at some class reunions since then, and will always think of her fondly and be glad that we shared that together. I must confess that other times with other girls, I was a d***, and I don't have those same fond memories-- just the shame and regret I talked about in another post.
if this blog was canceled, why is it here?
is viacom/the corporate-state threatening blogger?
next thing you know, the campus police will be called in by viacom/the fed/duke lawyers to round up brosephs on tucker's "didn't get distribution but only douchetribtion" tour and force them to watch secretive tapings of anal sex (where tucker didn't tell the girl he was taping her) at gun point.
one must question the use of taxpayer-funded facilities to spread epic douchebaggery far and wide, just so donnie darko can make back his six million pennies and viacom can make a few pennies more from making fun of asians, minorities, and overweight girls while filming secret tapings of anal without telling the girl.
do viacom/the fed/duke lawyers really own ohio state just because they print the money?
you know this site actually may help out ole tucker max. I mean even though I think he is a douche, I'll probably go see his movie just to see if its good or not.
Its kind of like Howard Stern when he first started out. People who hated him still tuned in to his provocative show.
^^^^ was howard stern's show available for free bit-torrent download when he first started out? the ease of online movie piracy might will help the people who hate tucker and want to see if his movie is terrible without putting any $$$ into mr. max's pocket. I am planning on watching IHTSBIH and I am not going to pay for a ticket, rent it at the store or buy it at Goodwill.
^^ yea thats true. And I don't think its going to be that popular. The main reason why some comedies do so well is because of the big named actors.
Jesse Bradford?? come on.
the funny thing is that tucker cast a bunch of brosephs who look/act/talk like girls.
that is how he sees himself--as a little girly man/bitch.
In my college life, I watched some movies at the second run theatre ($1, but needed someone to drive across town). The university had free movies on Friday nights, but I don't think I watched more than a couple since I usually had better things to do.
Maybe (maybe) once did I watch a full price movie.
Of course, in Highschool during the summer, a buddy worked at a theatre, so I watched a bunch of movies but never paid.
matt douchesky/whosky
jessica bradford
tucker max
nils parker
=
the douche pack
I love how Tucker says that his movie is so much funnier than the Hangover.
Even if Tucker is arguing that he has some "big" named actors, the Hangover had Todd Phillips for its director. Who did Road Trip and Old School. If IHTSBIH is funnier I'm sure Todd Phillips would have signed on.
Old School > IHTSBIH
and it's not even close
one of things that you are forgetting is that tucker had sex with a midget for publicity, while the writers of hangover forgot to do this. this means that tucker's script is funnier than theirs.
no serious, big-named actor, director, studio, agency, nor distributor wants anything to do with someone who tries desperately to make up for their complete lack of talent by filming secretive tapings of anal with girls without telling them, having sex with midgets while demeaning them, and making fun of fat girls and asians, while having no fan sites but for those he runs himself.
The Hangover has already made $105,389,000 in just 10 days.
I wonder if Tucker still thinks they will 'easily beat them at the box office".. Not just beat The Hangover, but beat them EASILY!
What tricks does Tucker have up his sleeves?
Is he personally going to buy 100,000 tickets pre-sale on Fandango at 10 bucks a pop and then re-sell them on ebay, stubhub and craigslist?
He has stated on his site that the college tour ticket sales, which he expects to bring about $600,000 give or take a grand, to be inlcuded and factored into the 'opening weekend box office' numbers. That's a long 30day weekend, and a 600,000 tally before the first official screening
Rudius also has a few LLCs, and a certified charitable fund that they plan to use to 'promote ticket sales and ticket giveaways' If you read between the lines they will be buying up their own tickets, taking a tax deduction in the process, then reselling them for a profit. This is known as 'papering' and it is done all the time at rock concerts that have undersold a tour.
Yea he was really cocky about beating out the Hangover.
Part of the lure of Hangover was the cast and the director. People know who Todd Phillips is and his credentials back it up.
He is so delusional to think that his kick ass road trip to Austin is going to be universally better than the Hangover. What a dumbass
freestyle distribution is what bob gosse is to directing is what matt whosky is to acting is what jessica bradford is to actressing is to what nils parker is to dieting is what tucker max is to writing.
it all kindof just worked itself out in the long run.
"one of things that you are forgetting is that tucker had sex with a midget for publicity"
If you ask the people who were there, Tucker didn't have sex with a midget or dwarf either.
It's funny how Tucker's stories don't really hold up if there isn't just his sycophants around.
Tucker never said he'd beat the Hangover. Never said. Not. Once.
The more money the Hangover makes the better it is for BIH.
The success of Hangover just shows that there is an audience for r-rated comedies about guys having fun and drinking beer. That was always the belief and foresight of the creative force behind BIH.
Tucker had to create his own DAMN GENRE, give credit where credit is due. If anything BIH probably paved the way for a film like Hangover to get green-lit. A book that is on the New York Times bestsellers list for three years does not go unnoticed by Hollywood.
yes--"someone who tries desperately to make up for their complete lack of talent by filming secretive tapings of anal with girls without telling them, having sex with midgets while demeaning them, and making fun of fat girls and asians, while having no fan sites but for those he runs himself," is definitely creating their own genre of unprecedented, epic douchebaggery.
definitely give him some credit for taht.
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