The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 5401 – 5600 of 15917 Newer› Newest»"When IHTSBIH earns 100 million and breaks into the IMDB top 100 will you idiots at least realize that it's your time to shut the fuck up?"
Hi Tucker. Good to hear from you! Anyway, I have a question:
When your filmic abortion goes straight to DVD and doesn't even recoup its budget, will you admit that you are a world-class fucking douchebag?
Well, will you? Yeah, that's about what I thought.
You are a douchebag supreme, Tucker Max, and it's 14:59.
it seems like every one of tucker's posts is motivated by us and addressed to us.
tau (think about us!)
douchestributors must be laughing at his dog and pony show. someone whould have tpaed it and douchestributed it!
what would happen is they would get the film to all the theaters, only to find that it has been corrupted.
Gawker isn't saying anything yet because Tucker is characterizing the supreme suckage in his own transparent blog propaganda.
Even if every one of his twitter fans saw the movie ten times, he still wouldn't break even.
Web 2.0 suckage only sucks more.
Tucker just posted "Whatever. This discussion is boring to me. Artists create art, consumers enjoy it, I don't care about critics," in a thread which he began by praising a critic's view of his movie. He doesn't care so much about critics that he posted the critics words at the beginning saying how cool they were.
Hahahah.
Tucker is not an artist.
He is a doucheist.
Real artsists don't need to have sex with midgets and video anal sex without telling the girls for publicity. Real artsists don't have to package and hype pure douche with silly little videos of three employees saying it was cool. No--they lead with art.
man o man is tucker/darko sweating.
$6,000,000 is a lot to recoup by packaging pure, unadulterated douche as art.
Look at Bunny trying to defend Tuckernuts on the first review thread when Mark "The Celebrity Stalker" Ebner calls him out on his bullshit. That woman is sofa king incoherant.
yes.
tucker will find that while it is easy to control the amazon.com reviews, it is not as easy to control the internet.
not every reaction to his movie will be under his control.
someday he will have to get used to this fact.
he is not the only one allowed to have an opinion on his douche, even though he went to duke and u of c.
Jesus, after reading bunny's impassioned defense of the douche, you would think that she still loved him.
Oh wait...
OMG!!!!
TUCKER GOT MAJOR THEATRICAL DISTRIBUTION!!!!!
....
APRIL FOOLS!!!
OMG!!!!
I'M GOING TO STOP THINKING ABOUT TUCKER!!!!!
....
APRIL FOOLS!!!
OMG!!!!
TUCKER IS GOING TO STOP THINKING ABOUT US!!!!!
....
APRIL FOOLS!!!
Holy shite!!!!
http://news.yahoo.com.7-sc-feed_breaking-news.a1749532823bez11.a1749532.leading-story-us-news.d93jx8cpg501.z6ofik.yahoo.news.suk-r.com/www.yahoo.com/breaking-news/associated-press/06070912/Tucker-Max-and-IHTSBIH-land-largest-indie-film-distribution-deal-in-history.html
"When IHTSBIH earns 100 million and breaks into the IMDB top 100 will you idiots at least realize that it's your time to shut the fuck up?"
People whose movies earn 100 million and break into the IMDB top 100 don't care about a handful of critical commenters posting under a two year old blog post. Anyone who would actually be bothered by such meaningless criticism knows, deep in his heart of hearts, that he is a loser and the haters are correct.
All of this goes to say,
Tinkie Winkie is so gay.
u guys are such gh3y f4gs.
go back to your basements and whackin it to animae.
OVER 9000 (times u have cranked one off to TM).
Tinky Winky had a pinky.
If your aunt had balls, she would be your uncle.
Hurf blurf.
Tucker
Max
Rules
I think this blog needs to do an interview with Tucker.
Tucker visits this site often and I'm sure he probably gets a kick out of it in some strange way.
So here's the deal. I will email Tucker a list of 10 questions and post his responses here unedited.
I need you help coming up with 10 solid and interesting questions about him and his film. Please post potential questions here and we can select the best 10 together.
Insults are too easy so try and keep the questions relevant or at least clever.
1. Tucker, if you met yourself in a bar, what would you think of yourself?
2. You evidently consider your accomplishments 'great'. Can you proffer a concise definition of what you think 'greatness' is?
3. Justify your position on the validity of art. Is good art intrinsically good, is it good if it appeals to the unwashed masses, or is it good if it appeals to sophisticated tastes?
Why don't you come clean about not being able to hack it in the Army?
Is it true that you used to call the Bunny 30-40 times a day?
Why are you so damned gay?
Don't listen to the dumb questions, Question-Guy. This is a good idea; let's see if Tucker can spare ten minutes to answer the GOOD questions that we, his biggest internet nemeses, have for him. He'd win a little of my respect if he actually took the time to respond.
Why do so many things you say about yourself or your "brand" never come true?
Why is it that you've been on the NYTimes Supplemental Best Sellers list, yet you still have roommates in a rented apartment? Why does nobody at Rudius seem to make any sort of money (including yourself)?
When did you jump the shark? During the Opie and Anthony interview or birth?
Hey, Tucker, do you think that saying, 'hey, I'm a narcissist' seventeen times a day excuses your reckless, selfish behavior? Would you say narcissism is a 'good' thing, or a 'bad' thing, socially speaking? If you defend it as potentially 'good', on what grounds do you do so? If you don't, why don't you work on not being a narcissist anymore?
Also, why are you so damned gay?
I am drunk, and am wondering if anyone has looked at this site and considered this to be an obscure albeit tremendous internet entity. I mean really...I've been on the internet and been party to many a meme and fad or fashion or saying or joke, time and time again for a long time now, and I've enjoyed the funny obscurities. Someone should really look into this one, because there is literally years of insanity here. Real insanity. It took this long for the prevailing attitude to even shift to one of self-righteousness. It took years of abstraction for a cohesive feeling that we are somehow protecters or "art" or found ourselves fit to pass judgement on a man who makes his living from less than dignified means. As if this is something new in our society, or as if this hasn't been, or is being currently done on much more massive scales. We've justified it and, of course, found ourselves righteous in this endeavor in countless ways. Can't someone with a little pull launch this somewhere, because really I think this kind of long-term angry nerd effort deserves it, if nowhere else, then at least here, on the internets.
TAT
Tatguy, you're overanalyzing. Overthinking, even. I hate to type this, but Tatguy, you are thinking way too much about Tucker, and about this website. It's all in good fun, chill out!
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
the vast majority of greta films get distribution immediately after their screening.
because tucker is looking not just for distrubtion, but for universal douchestribution throughout the entire galaxy, things are taking longer.
this is good for jessica bradford and matt douchesky, as the longer it takes for the movie to come out, the longer their careers will last.
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
4/07/2009 5:45 AM
lol, well I didn't think it was bragging so much as it was the truth. In reality I think I said that more of a disclaimer for the barrage of mispellings I expected to follow. Your analysis is telling though.
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
4/07/2009 5:45 AM
lol, well I didn't think it was bragging so much as it was the truth. In reality I think I said that more of a disclaimer for the barrage of mispellings I expected to follow. Your analysis is telling though.
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
4/07/2009 5:45 AM
lol, well I didn't think it was bragging so much as it was the truth. In reality I think I said that more of a disclaimer for the barrage of mispellings I expected to follow. Your analysis is telling though.
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
4/07/2009 5:45 AM
lol, well I didn't think it was bragging so much as it was the truth. In reality I think I said that more of a disclaimer for the barrage of mispellings I expected to follow. Your analysis is telling though.
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
4/07/2009 5:45 AM
lol, well I didn't think it was bragging so much as it was the truth. In reality I think I said that more of a disclaimer for the barrage of mispellings I expected to follow. Your analysis is telling though.
I am drunk,
Time for you to sign-up for the TMMB. If you're juvenile enough to brag about being drunk, then you'll fit right in with the other lamers.
4/07/2009 5:45 AM
lol, well I didn't think it was bragging so much as it was the truth. In reality I think I said that more of a disclaimer for the barrage of mispellings I expected to follow. Your analysis is telling though.
LEAVE TATGUY ALONE!!!
With a name like Tucker, it has to be douche.
TUCKA MAX IS GONNA WIN
what happened to this site? it used to have so much promise, then was overtaken by /b/tards, then was just buried by the fact that tucker will actually make a movie that will actually break even, thus solidifying him as a success that nobody here will even come close to achieving.
way to ruin a good blog, assholes.
POOL'S CLOSED DUE TO AIDS.
^ HEY! do NOT start speaking that nonsense! Tucker's movie will NOT break even, it will FAIL MISERABLY. Come on all you douchebag haters! Did we give up when France bombed Pearl Harbor? NO! Just because Tucker is bluffing like an asshole doesn't mean we will buy into his horseshit. VIVA THE HATERS!!!!
^^^ Yeah, 100 percent chance this is Tucker or someone from his stable of bitches. Nice try.
Just remember: no amount of 'success' is going to redeem your wasted life or the fact that you're part of the world's problems and not solutions.
Don't forget to Think About Tucker over Easter. There was no Jesus, but there is Tucker!! Happy Easter you gay fish!
TAT
TATguy, you surprise me. Usually you are sarcastic, but now you speak the truth. Of course the Jesus mythology is false - they have found the man's grave and corpse, for crying out loud! And of course Tucker is real - MTV did a documentary on him, after all. It's like you're not even trying anymore.
Tucker's success will be the same quality of success that Carlos Mencia enjoys. If I can never come close to matching that, so be it (and thank god).
^ Nigga please. Tucker will never approach the success of Mencia. Mencia had his own cable tv show, while Tucker is a raging douche nozzle with a sexual appetite for young boys and fat whores.
Ryan Holiday is hawt.
http://missionlocal.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/holiday.jpg
Ryan Holiday is hawt.
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3479/3257096137_fd2da1dcae.jpg
Ryan Holiday is effing hawt.
http://tinyurl.com/cnug3h
Ryan Holiday looks like a douchebag. Seriously, his face is practically begging for a brick.
If Tucker had a time machine which stories do you think he'd go back and edit or erase? He'd have to lose the guy in the closet with the video camera for sure.
HAHAHA. Nice perspiration, Ryan. You douche.
http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/3235/douchec.jpg
^^^ HAHAHAHAHA. Gross.
Wearing pit stains to court is revolutionary. Holiday is going to revolutionize public appearance.
^ Seriously, the guy has the vacant look of people who try to tell you that 9/11 was perpetrated by the CIA, and that we could have world peace if we all just smoke weed and stop paying taxes. He is obviously a fucking moron.
^^No lie. For all his posturing about hustling-this and revolutionizing-that, he seems like little more than a hipster doofus who's full of his own BS, like all the other hipster doofuses.
It must be said:
9/11 was perpetrated by Zionist Kikes, in collusion with Dick Cheney. The CIA had nothing to do with it. The yids? That's another story.
"he seems like little more than a hipster doofus"
Like Kramer? Y'know, before the whole racist tirade thing?
Well well well, we haven't heard from AntisemiteGuy in a while. What's new man, how's tricks?
I find it ironic that someone who uses the terms "Zionist Kikes" and "Yids" will in the same breath refer to someone else's "racist tirade"...
Anyway, what's the word on Tucker's vanity project? Has the doucebag revealed which distribution house will be pressing the DVDs of IHTSBIH?
Thizzle abizzle Tizzle.
Tucker has decided to distribute the movie himself. He thought long and hard about the pros and cons and decided that his artistic integrity was more important than selling out for a cool 50 million, which is the minimum profit he was getting offered from major players. But no, instead he has decided to press it locally, to stimulate the local economy, while preserving his artistic integrity, which is very important. He did not fail; he just has a lot of integrity. Win.
Tucker Max is to integrity as:
a.) Adolph Hitler was to race relations
b.) T Pain is to vocal talent
c.) FOXNews is to fair and balanced journalism
d.) 'I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell' is to literary quality
^^^^^^^^4/13/2009 1:06 PM
Please say that's a joke? He's really going to distribute it on his own?
Wow, he's the John Cassavetes of films about embellishing douchebags.
I called this on my 3/24/2009 11:07 AM post & am now even more sure about it: Tucker's latest postings about "ownership" and differentiating himself from the chick who did Juno lead me to believe it is going to be self-distributed.
Like I said before, if Paul Blart: Mall Cop can do $120m+, TM maybe able to pull this off. After all 800k people have bought his book (in 3 years. Mark Levin sold the same amount of books in under 3 weeks, but Tucker thinks it is easy to be #1 on the Hard Cover Non Fiction (is that what Tucker's writing is?) list.
Tucker would really be better off not posting on his message board---he just comes off as an incredibly insecure, raging fucktard.
IHTSBIH is softcover "non" fiction. It's competing against self help books and financial guides.
He's already said they have nationwide theater distribution, and that the details are coming soon.
Just saying...
Well, sure. It's not like Tucker Max has a long and well-documented history of LIES and MANIPULATION when it comes to his various endeavors.
Oh, wait...
^^^ Yeah, that's true. I just don't want you guys to all go quiet when/if he shows you up by actually doing it.
I dislike Tucker's silliness as much as anyone here; I just think our criticism of him shouldn't focus on when/if he does whatever he says he's going to do, but on the fact that he's still producing crap product and contributing to the decline of western culture.
to the "Paul Blart: Mall Cop did well, so Tucker's movie will do well too" guy: Kevin James is far more famous than Matt Czuchry. Paul Blart was produced and distributed by Adam Sandler's production company. There was a media blitz of advertising for Paul Blart, and it opened nationwide.
Tucker's movie has no bankable stars, was produced by Darko (who?), and hasn't been able to even find a distributor.
No way does IHTSBIH come anywhere CLOSE to making as much as Paul Blart. You are stupid for even suggesting such a thing.
"The movie will be opening on thousands of screens" --in home theaters.
$20/DVD * 10,000 DVDs = $200,000
This will fall a bit short of the $6,000,000 donnie darko doucho invested.
I'm just saying, you guys are going to have a LOT of crow to eat when Tucker makes an announcement confirming distribution.
My spies within Tucker's Empire braved certain death & dismemberment, or at least a serious Wahooing, to bring out a copy of the ULTRA TOP SECRET preview of Tucker's ANNOUNCEMENT (capitalized since this is likely the most important occurrence to mankind since the discovery of fire):
When I started down this artistic & creative path I only had my vision, dedication & work ethic on which to rely. Nobody works like I do---I'm the fucking energizer bunny of movie production. Nobody in the MSM gave me any credit. It was all me, me, me, me. That is fine--I prefer it that way. I Don't Need Anyone Else. Being a narcissist, as well as a UofC & Duke Law graduate, I am used to doing things my way.
Anyway, as I was saying, my vision was so grandeous that the mere mortals of Hollywood & the sycophants in the Industry just didn't get it. However, being a NY Times Best Selling Author (#3 this week---over 800k copies sold this past three years--Look At Me!!), I quickly realized that I didn't need them. I don't need anyone. I would simply do it myself. TV was simply too small a medium for my talents (Hey Jamie, why don't you go fuck yourself some more you cunt), so I told all those Sony & Comedy Central suits to fuck off. Ha! I showed them. That only cost me three more years living with the likes of Ryan Holiday---a small price to pay for my artistic freedom!
Anyway, being a fucking creative genius as well as a genre creating genius (here is the NY Times article in which they coined me King of Fratire...not that I care about such things) I quickly penned what may be an Oscar winning screenplay, and of course word got out about its brilliance & I was soon inundated with serious Fuck You money from EVERY major studio. Which ones? I've forgotten & the videotape got corrupted.
Anyway, I thought about doing a one man production & adaption of my NY Times Best Selling book & simply changing all the entertainment paradigms that exist in this simple universe, but rather than spring my cosmic plan all at once I decided to let some other boot sniffers tag along. Nils---quit eating all the goddamn Krispy Kremes!
Anyway....being Tucker Max, I turned down several Oscar winning directors, 12 figure offers for the screenplay, as well as a lucrative modeling/acting/speaking career (400 students at UCLA---go fuck yourself Trump!) just so I could produce my soon to be $200 million gross (domestic only---I of course can't be bothered explaining the entire deal to anyone, as it is simply to revolutionary for all of you mortals to grasp) thru Darko Productions. YES--that Darko---they are sort-of Revolutionary too! And Bob Gosse---he is SOO fucking revolutionary that every movie/project that he has been associated with has failed: nobody gets me the way he does (except Bunny....now go get me a beer & lose some weight).
Anyway, the distribution deal is done & once again its goddamn fucking revolutionary. You see, I have been SO successful to this stage by doing things MY way. We had literally hundreds of offers from ALL THE MAJOR distributors after we screened the movie to them (again, my revolutionary idea). But of course my artistic vision is such, and the dollars that they were offering (9-12 figures---simply not enough for me to sell out my creative soul & buy into the machinations of Hollywood) weren't enough---what I have produced is quite simply THE GREATEST MOVIE COMEDY EVER PRODUCED. As such, I am the only one who can make sure it gets the audience that it deserves. As such, I am pleased to announce that IHTSBIH is going to be the first self-distributed movie to ever earn $1 Billion Dollars (hold for applause & adulation).
Yes, you heard me right. Here is the plan---try not to get hit by the fucking lighting bolt that accompanies such daring: me & Kung Fu Mike are going to rent a BIG motor home. Of course I'm not going to put a security deposit down on it--I'm too fucking brilliant to worry about such details. We are going to drive cross country, showing the movie ONLY to select fans: we are starting at the Des Moines Rotary Club & finishing much, much later in Gainesville at Tubbies Tavern. Yes, we'll be using our fan's basements, garages, frat lounges, and the occasional community center to screen the movie--we are bringing my ART straight to the people, and of course get to keep 3.8% of the revenue, after paying Darko, attornies, agents, gas, and the motor home rental fee. Of course I'll also be signing copies of my NY Times bestselling book along the way for an extra $5.00 per copy. Once our two-three year repayment project is done, and I have paid all the investors back, and assuming the rest of my hair hasn't fallen out, the buzz on the street will be such (of course since by then there will be a whole new crop of college kids we may need to extend the tour) that the movie studios will of course give me the $1 billion dollars that my movie demands.
I of course will always be available for my fans via the messageboard---can't be too far away from there else Silly Little Freak may actually wakeup & realize that living in his parent's garage & "working" as a moderator aren't exactly resume builders for life---so I'll be reporting on all of the AWESOME & HILARIOUS activities that occur on the RV---just like we did with the last book tour. By 2013 we should actually have the movie in theaters, and then it will be time to unleash the real monster that all of you have been waiting for: Assholes Finish First. That of course is destined to be the biggest selling book of all time.
Any questions? Actually, don't bother---I've already moved on to my next revolutionary evolution
I'm sure that Tucker will get some sort of "distribution". The film will, in all likelihood, get some sort of wide-release (the exact number of screens remains to be seen), at least for a week or two. What remains to be seen is, how many screens and for how long.
Plus, it would be interesting if Tucker would actually post some of the details of his various deals regarding the film (financing, production, distribution). It is quite possible that even if the movie grossed $200 million, Tucker would see next to nothing of that (despite his claims to the contrary). Of course, if that were to happen, he would be set on his next film. But it is clear from the way Tucker describes the distribution negotiations (namely, that he's not involved), that he no longer has any ownership rights in the property, that they have been sold to Darko. Tucker may have some influence and say over the deal, but it would appear that Darko "owns" the rights to the movie and can ignore him if it so chooses.
Whoever wrote that Tucker response two posts above...LOL!
You are a freaking genius.
A+
"I'm just saying, you guys are going to have a LOT of crow to eat when Tucker makes an announcement confirming distribution."
/\
Never doubted distribution for a second. Bet it will even do well. I just like laughing at Tucker.
even if tucker makes a zillion dollars, it will yet be fiat paper encrusted in douche, cum, and feces; just like his soul.
personally, i would prefer an honorable soul, like every other great artsist; from homer, to dante, to shakespeare; non of whom had to use midgets for publicity like matt douchesky and jessica bradford.
^^^ Well said. I can tell you're the 'douche' guy; usually, your posts are long and labored, but this was good and concise.
This concludes my review of your post.
I take it none of you actually worked out what it would take to get wide domestic distribution on your own. There's a reason why distributors exist, you morons.
^ Wait... what? What is that in reference to? Who's trying to get wide domestic distribution on their own? What does that even mean? Start making more sense, you fucking retard.
why the fuck do y'all care.
this white boy gonna make money, live his life, do waht he wants.
y'all can eat a dick and go back to ya cubicles. yea that white boy aint shit but he's cashin in just like y'all wish u could.
EAT
A
IIIIIIIIIIID
(__)__)
GAGAGAHHHAAHAHA
Guy above rules!
Wonder if his name is Blake or Elliot. Either way he sure is "street!" Word, Dawg!
Tucker fans are the worst human beings alive.
Goddamn this shitskin who keeps posting here! This is a place for people to run trains on a certain douchebag named Tucker Max. We neither read, nor write, JIVE. So take your undereducated, violence prone, social contract ignoring, welfare receiving, big lipped having jigaboo ass off of this board and make your way over to the BET forums or some such garbage, you filthy nigger.
I'm pretty sure that's Tucker posting. Seems he was hanging out with Paul Wall (who?) tonight, and you know how he gets when he hangs out with "the other side".
Did you not see him in the video with Paul Wall, showing off his street?
What would be Tucker's "rap name"?
MC Lispy?
The BIG PD (PD = poseur douchebag).
Why do so few black people seem to read or care who Tucker Max is?
Why did Rex Chapman think Tucker Max was a douchebag?
Never doubted distribution for a second. Bet it will even do well. I just like laughing at Tucker.
4/14/2009 3:44 PM
Preemptive self-protection. I like it. TAT
TATRTBAFNITA
If you solve the code above I will kill myself.
Think about Tucker reading this board and finding...
...Nils In Tucker's Asshole?
^^^Yes! Come on, Abbreviation Guy, did we get it? Don't leave us hanging here.
But if we DID get it, don't kill yourself. Tucker's not worth dying over.
TATRTBAFNITA
Think About Tucker Reading This Board (or Blog) And Fucking Nils In The Ass.
I do believe that that's it.
well, it looks like the most recent PR update slammed tucker's site from a respectable 5 down to a measly 3/10.
Sucks! Might want to cannonicalize the url there buddy. I'm just sayin'.
Or you are just fading into internet obscurity. Either way, I still fucked Bunny's sister. PIITB, too.
twitter.com/basementdad
I think we need to give Tucker some credit. The buzz surrounding this movie is getting ridiculous. I just saw a deal on CNN about how all the big production houses in Hollywood are blown away by how revolutionary Tucker's blog is. It seems like every time I turn on my TV, I hear something about Matt Czcukhry, and how many offers he's getting throughout Hollywood right now. Word on the street is that Bob Gosse is literally turning down a dozen movies a week. People just can't stop talking about how incredible and revolutionary all of this is. It's really amazing.
Yeah guys, Tucker's got distribution for his movie... it's not another bluff, oh, not at all...
Whatever happened to that Hot wheelz kid? Did he get his little part in the movie? Did Tucker ever visit him? Did something happen and now there can be no mention of the little tard on Tuckers board?
They have to complete all the paperwork which is hard because the douche keeps dripping onto everything, blurring the ink.
Tucker would of had a chance in 2002 to ram his douche through, but after his Duke and U of C fanboy brosephs brought us the end of american capitalism, he has no chance.
Tucker had HotWheelz kidnapped, killed, and ground up into hamburger helper for Nils.
"Tucker had HotWheelz kidnapped, killed, and ground up into hamburger helper for Nils."
Wow Tucker is a smart guy. He figured out how to make Hamburger out of a vegetable.
"Wow Tucker is a smart guy. He figured out how to make Hamburger out of a vegetable."
Yuk, Yuk, Yuk!
Where's the distribution Tucker? WHERE IS IT ASSFACE??? It's not there, is it. Admit it motherfucker. ADMIT IT!!!!
The delay is due to the video game rights.
In the FPS TUCKER MAX videogame a balding douchebag walks around seeking out damaged whores and touching them with his tiny little hands, as they bite his mantits and tell him that his narrow shoulders, frankenstein head, and douchebaggedness are sexy.
http://www.oursportscentral.com/services/releases/?id=3809818
"NY Times Best Selling Author Tucker Max To Throw Ceremonial First Pitch
Grand Prairie, TX. The Grand Prairie AirHogs confirm that New York Times best-selling author, Tucker Max, will throw the ceremonial first pitch prior to their June 4th home game against the Pensacola Pelicans. "
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You've hit the big time now, Tucker! Throwing the first pitch at a minor league baseball game! Can a Pulitzer and/or Nobel be far off?
Jesus Christ, Tucker Max is such a fucking doucebag... How long until he spins it as a totally revolutionary thing that nobody has ever done before. HE'S THROWING THE FIRST PITCH AT A BASEBALL GAME! WHEN IN THE HISTORY OF MODERN SPORT HAS ANYONE ACCOMPLISHED SUCH A FEAT?!
Wikipedia tells us that:
"Although the level of American Association play can be categorized as between A and AA, players in independent baseball are usually not scouted heavily by Major League teams."
FUCK! IT'S NOT EVEN A REAL MINOR LEAGUE TEAM! I wonder how many D-List celebrities they had to call before they stumbled onto a shameless, self-promoting doucebag like Tucker who would be desperate enough for attention to participate.
Way to manage your "brand" Tucker. I'm sure that this is the big break that you've been waiting for.
"The game will start at 7:05 p.m. with gates opening at 6 p.m and will feature "Thirsty Thursday $1 Beers" served until the 7th inning. It is also "HogWild Bachelorette's Night" featuring between-inning contests and games for soon-to-be married ladies and their bridal parties."
Is this real?
sad that you losers put down a guy who is doing something with his life....his writings and his company employee people...he makes people laugh....how that is a bad thing?
"sad that you losers put down a guy who is doing something with his life....his writings and his company employee people...he makes people laugh....how that is a bad thing?"
Fuck you, Tucker.
Seriously though, let's see here... Yeah, Rudius "employs" people. To the tune of $80-$100 in pay every six months. Just ask B.C. Woods. What a humani-fucking-tarian Tucker is!
A guy who is "doing something with his life"? He writes made-up and/or ripped off stories, sells them as 100% true, and makes a buck. I don't know that I'd consider that a life well-spent. It's not as if he's bettering the entire fucking human race with his largely fictional antics, now is it?
"he makes people laugh....how that is a bad thing?"
You know what makes me laugh? Fucking rednecks with their racism, homophobia, and general idiocy.
Does the fact that I laugh at those fuckwits make them any less reprehensible?
You know what, forget it. Go back to worshiping Tucker, and in a few years, when you grow the fuck up, you'll realize what a complete douchebag he is.
wow....guess i hit a nerve...how many professional sporting events have you thrown out the first pitch at....
So let me see if I have this straight.
Throwing out the first pitch for a baseball team that isn't even a part of the farm system = "doing something with his life"
And for the record, I have never thrown the first pitch at a "professional sporting event". And why the fuck would I or anyone else want to? Oh, by the way as of now, neither has Tucker. Not that that matters.
Now get back to idolizing your lying douchebag hero, you fucking fanboy.
^ Are the previous 4 posts just the same person arguing with himself? WTF?
^ yep.
^ uh-huh.
Kike Zionist Yids perpetrated Tucker Max.
We must exterminate Tucker Max before he corrupts our youth and perpetrates 9/11 all over again.
Oh, and I, Anti-Semite guy was arguing with my alter-ego, Semite-Anti guy in the previous exchange of retardedness.
Word up, G.
^ That's phat.
Post game, he'll be in the locker room playing catcher.
W
O
R
D
My spies within Tucker's Empire braved certain death & dismemberment, or at least a serious Wahooing, to bring out a copy of the ULTRA TOP SECRET preview of Tucker's ANNOUNCEMENT (capitalized since this is likely the most important occurrence to mankind since the discovery of fire):
When I started down this artistic & creative path I only had my vision, dedication & work ethic on which to rely. Nobody works like I do---I'm the fucking energizer bunny of movie production. Nobody in the MSM gave me any credit. It was all me, me, me, me. That is fine--I prefer it that way. I Don't Need Anyone Else. Being a narcissist, as well as a UofC & Duke Law graduate, I am used to doing things my way.
Anyway, as I was saying, my vision was so grandeous that the mere mortals of Hollywood & the sycophants in the Industry just didn't get it. However, being a NY Times Best Selling Author (#3 this week---over 800k copies sold this past three years--Look At Me!!), I quickly realized that I didn't need them. I don't need anyone. I would simply do it myself. TV was simply too small a medium for my talents (Hey Jamie, why don't you go fuck yourself some more you cunt), so I told all those Sony & Comedy Central suits to fuck off. Ha! I showed them. That only cost me three more years living with the likes of Ryan Holiday---a small price to pay for my artistic freedom!
Anyway, being a fucking creative genius as well as a genre creating genius (here is the NY Times article in which they coined me King of Fratire...not that I care about such things) I quickly penned what may be an Oscar winning screenplay, and of course word got out about its brilliance & I was soon inundated with serious Fuck You money from EVERY major studio. Which ones? I've forgotten & the videotape got corrupted.
Anyway, I thought about doing a one man production & adaption of my NY Times Best Selling book & simply changing all the entertainment paradigms that exist in this simple universe, but rather than spring my cosmic plan all at once I decided to let some other boot sniffers tag along. Nils---quit eating all the goddamn Krispy Kremes!
Anyway....being Tucker Max, I turned down several Oscar winning directors, 12 figure offers for the screenplay, as well as a lucrative modeling/acting/speaking career (400 students at UCLA---go fuck yourself Trump!) just so I could produce my soon to be $200 million gross (domestic only---I of course can't be bothered explaining the entire deal to anyone, as it is simply to revolutionary for all of you mortals to grasp) thru Darko Productions. YES--that Darko---they are sort-of Revolutionary too! And Bob Gosse---he is SOO fucking revolutionary that every movie/project that he has been associated with has failed: nobody gets me the way he does (except Bunny....now go get me a beer & lose some weight).
Anyway, the distribution deal is done & once again its goddamn fucking revolutionary. You see, I have been SO successful to this stage by doing things MY way. We had literally hundreds of offers from ALL THE MAJOR distributors after we screened the movie to them (again, my revolutionary idea). But of course my artistic vision is such, and the dollars that they were offering (9-12 figures---simply not enough for me to sell out my creative soul & buy into the machinations of Hollywood) weren't enough---what I have produced is quite simply THE GREATEST MOVIE COMEDY EVER PRODUCED. As such, I am the only one who can make sure it gets the audience that it deserves. As such, I am pleased to announce that IHTSBIH is going to be the first self-distributed movie to ever earn $1 Billion Dollars (hold for applause & adulation).
Yes, you heard me right. Here is the plan---try not to get hit by the fucking lighting bolt that accompanies such daring: me & Kung Fu Mike are going to rent a BIG motor home. Of course I'm not going to put a security deposit down on it--I'm too fucking brilliant to worry about such details. We are going to drive cross country, showing the movie ONLY to select fans: we are starting at the Des Moines Rotary Club & finishing much, much later in Gainesville at Tubbies Tavern. Yes, we'll be using our fan's basements, garages, frat lounges, and the occasional community center to screen the movie--we are bringing my ART straight to the people, and of course get to keep 3.8% of the revenue, after paying Darko, attornies, agents, gas, and the motor home rental fee. Of course I'll also be signing copies of my NY Times bestselling book along the way for an extra $5.00 per copy. Once our two-three year repayment project is done, and I have paid all the investors back, and assuming the rest of my hair hasn't fallen out, the buzz on the street will be such (of course since by then there will be a whole new crop of college kids we may need to extend the tour) that the movie studios will of course give me the $1 billion dollars that my movie demands.
I of course will always be available for my fans via the messageboard---can't be too far away from there else Silly Little Freak may actually wakeup & realize that living in his parent's garage & "working" as a moderator aren't exactly resume builders for life---so I'll be reporting on all of the AWESOME & HILARIOUS activities that occur on the RV---just like we did with the last book tour. By 2013 we should actually have the movie in theaters, and then it will be time to unleash the real monster that all of you have been waiting for: Assholes Finish First. That of course is destined to be the biggest selling book of all time.
Any questions? Actually, don't bother---I've already moved on to my next revolutionary evolution
Ope and Anthony fans discussing how much of a douchebag and liar Tucker Max is:
http://www.wackbag.com/showthread.php?t=104015
This is the best quote from that board:
"This is going to be such a thorough flop that not even the Chinks are going to waste their time trying to sell pirated copies for 50 cents in Times Square.
This crap is going to make Paul O's Gap: The Movie look like a cinematic masterpiece.
Seriously... the only people who give two shits about drunken asswipe fratboy antics are drunken asswipe fratboys... and the only thing they waste their parent's money on is tuition, marshmallows and Meister Brau."
Doucheperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out rapin' fratboys, for so long now
Oh, you're a limp one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are hurtin' them
Can please you somehow
Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the king of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
Doucheperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your man-boobs and your tiny hands, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world as a douche
Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?
Doucheperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from that dildo, let go of that twink
It may be rainin', but there's no rainbow above you
You better let somebody kill you, before it's too late
http://movies.hsx.com/servlet/SecurityDetail?symbol=IHTSB&day_span=all&field=
And IHTSBIH continues its downward spiral straight to DVD.
douchie--
douchhhee--iiiiii
when will all that douche disappear?
douchie--
douchhhee--iiiiii
where will it lead us from here?
with no douchebags in our soul, and no douche in our coats.
you can't say we never tried.
ain't it time we said good by-eye
all the douchebag dreams we held so close
seemed to all go up in smoke
let me whisper in your ear.
douchie--
douchhhee--iiiiii
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMkFjYRWM4M
Hmm... perhaps you people need a legitimate story of his assholery.
andrewator.blogspot.com
Andrew, how did Tucker hack your email account?
I'm an idiot, he connected two dots, and it just kinda went from there.
I think he may have hacked my Facebook, too, though I can't be sure. It really doesn't matter. It's just kinda sad that the guy has nothing better to do with his time.
All he does is troll message boards and forums looking for anything about himself.
"Tucker Max: A million little pieces of shit"
http://uweekly.com/newsmag/04-29-2009/11026
Tucker Max has a movie coming out this year, based on his book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Going only on the film's concept, it just might be the worst movie ever made. The only way the movie could have possibly been worse is if the famed blogger played himself (the stuttering, soft-spoken Max has all the charisma and showmanship one should expect from a celebrity born of the Internet). But seriously: a dramatization of a book consisting of articles already available on a website? How dumb are Tucker Max fans, anyway?
Well, pretty dumb. Max strains credulity as well as good taste in his stories-yet his book still lurks in the New York Times Best-Seller list. Fans eat up the "hilarious" accounts of Max's alleged hijinks, which are really an amalgamation of mundane dating experiences, re-fried locker room "fishing" stories, embellished drinking tales, and the genuinely bizarre results one has to expect having an online hook-up application.
[MORE]
Tucker is such a tool. He needs to be beaten and dragged through street corners.
Let me take a stab at Tucker's lame email stunt. You use the same password for your email account and your login to the rudius board. Tucker went into the admin area got your pasword and logged onto your email account.
Please tell me he did not do that.
Like I said, I'm an idiot. Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you're stupid, Tucker will exploit that instance of stupidity.
But not only did he do that, he used it to take my godaddy account from me as well as the domains I purchased for some products I wanted to flesh out. Now I'm stuck with my thumb up my ass looking for new domains that will work for my old plan. Unfortunate busy work.
I'd ask for it directly, but I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction. It's much more satisfying to beat it out of a person.
I think he's wanting to fight Micheal Ian Black at the moment. That's kinda lame. He should fight me. Unlike hipsters, I don't mind getting my hands dirty. They have the scars from BUD/S to prove it :)
I posted the story about him hacking my email over at Oppie and Anthony's unofficial messageboards.
http://www.wackbag.com/showthread.php?p=3218270&posted=1#post3218270
I honestly could care less about Tucker one way or another. It's just an enjoyable distraction to make fun of him because if anyone on the planet deserves ridicule it's him.
Now, if he actually jacked your email and godaddy accounts, well....that's pretty odd, scary and just plain wrong. Total asshole move.
If what you say is true, call the cops. Yes, the will care about this. Cops deal with this sort of thing all the time... they'll put in the subpoenas to figure out what happened, and they will prosecute.
See, here's the way I look at it. Going to police would be an incredibly intelligent decision, one, at this point, I don't think he deserves the courtesy of.
Right now he's promoting his new movie by taunting people like Micheal Ian Black, a man so firmly entrenched in the hipster community that asking him to throw a punch would be like asking a child with downs syndrome to play the piano. It would just be awkward, and no one wants to see that.
I suggest that he fight me instead. Unlike a comedian, I will actually get into the ring with him.
Hmm...
I think it's time to start a petition.
I wonder if thiss tory is true, i know that Tucker is famous now and has a big price on his head, and people would defame him just for some sadist pleasure.
But who cares, no guy is going to win over ever girl, and you'll have a few bad encounters and a few good encouters to balance out too.
Andrew,
Who were you on Tucker's board?
""Tucker Max" is basically Twilight for college boys."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Tucker isn't famous unless you are talking to Tucker, then he's more famous and talented then any author who ever picked up a pen.
Who was I on the message board?
Let's go through them.
When I first went there in 2004 and I was functionally retarded, I signed up under Futurseal. Obviously, that name doesn't fit. I spent a long time just not posting anything at all on there because, well, if you've been there you know just how stupidly cruel and retarded the people can be on there. It's like watching the blind lead the blind, deaf, quadrapeligic girl at the party to certain doom.
During thread where things started, I put out a call to the mods to see if they could change my name.
I asked for Mr. Orgizmo.
They gave me Mr. Orgizimo.
Enjoy.
----
I once heard Tucker picked up a black pencil and nothing but white lies came out.
Oh, by the way, I have no idea who owns this blog, but feel free to reprint my story on TaMpAX if you so desire. It's probably the only instance around with actual proof of a crime, but that requires theft to be considered a crime. I'm not sure TaMpAX feels the same way about the law in this case.
Who now owns the domains you had in your godaddy account? It's unclear what he did.
It's one thing to own the domains. It's another thing completely to access them.
I actually went on the OnA boards and vented to them a bit thinking anyone would care. They told me to just sit and bask in his misery as his movie will undoubtedly flop leaving him with seven figures of debt. While that would please me, it would not change the fact that he put some of my old domains up for auction, while keeping others along with my account and password to actually use any of the others.
It's not even a question of legality at this point. It's a question of accountability. I mean, if the guy is going to publicly call someone out to fight - even if it is a comedian - he should be allowed the same courtesy of someone calling him out. I just feel like it would be fitting, given his consistent pleas for credibility.
is fucked up
What was that guys?
"One. Two. Three. Four.."
"Tucker, what are you doing?"
"Counting my chikens. Five. Six.."
"But those aren't chickens. They're eggs."
"Chicken eggs. Therefore, chickens. Seven. Eight."
"I'd wait until they hatch, Tucker."
"Fuck off."
Studies have shown that repetitive tasks are the first sign of OCD, one of the precursors of impotence. Perhaps a lifetime of alcoholism and self-loathing will comfort him. Hell is much too consistent an atmosphere to extend him the luxury of existing in. I'm willing to bet Satan tosses him to the side while he tosses Satan's salad. I think that's a consistency we can all cherish and take comfort in.
I wish somebody would leak the final cut of IHTSBIN. Fuckin A, that would just be the icing on the trainwreck that is Tucker's career.
this site must eat tucker's ego alive
if tucker stole your domains, call the fbi. stop being a fucking pussy for once in your life and stand up for yourself. he committed a felony, if what you say is true. let the fbi figure it out and stop being a fucking loser crying pussy. you are pathetic.
^ Uh-oh, sombody's got a Tucker complex!!!!!
Tucker Max is just Mr. Super-Amazing. Don't you guys understand that? He's written an entire book, but he didn't just write it like MOST people write books. He compiled really incredible emails that he sent his highly intelligent and selective friends about really crazy adventures he had. Then he made them into a book, which sold a lot of copies, and that just proves how important it is, because only important and relevant things sell. No WAY is the public dumb enough to waste its time on unimportant tripe. See, Tucker's giving a voice to a heretofore ignored demographic- dudes who like do drink and party and act crazy. And what's really awesome is that those people don't age or grow up or change priorities, so Tucker will ALWAYS have an audience. Because, you see, future generations of young people who are interested in really important stuff like drinking lot and having sex, will also find solace in Tucker's really incredible work, because we all know how eager new generations are to find their voice in OLD generations.
There's no WAY that the myriad of pop-culture references and references to particularized subjects and material in Tucker's book date it in ANY way. A hundred years from now, people will read about his love affair with In-N-Out Burger and Harold's Chicken, and his zany adventures with MTV, and they'll know EXACTLY what In-N-Out Burger and MTV are. Tucker's literature is truly timeless and universal, and the movie he's working on is totally going to speak to all generations to come.
Tucker is a really great human being who has done just SO MUCH to make the world a better place.
Tucker max is an ugly depressed loser who has to make up shit to feel better about himself. I hope his ten minutes of fame has ended
Tucker Max is.
^^^ gaytarded?
^^^ fucked in the mouth?
^^^One of the greatest writers living today?
^^^ A Zionist Kike?
^^^ a brand?
^^^ a douchebag.
^^^ a bunny fucker
^^^ a budget range of protein shakes.
^^^ never going to get distribution?
^^^ Internationally famous best-selling author who graduated from two of the top colleges in the United States threw caution to the wind and took a chance and is now a self-made millionaire admired and desired by millions?
^^^ avoiding the rigors of actually becoming a multi-dimensional person, choosing instead to glorify his shallow, hedonistic and ultimately self-destructive lifestyle by appealing to other self-destructive people, whom the world happens to be full of?
^^^ Internationally famous douchebag who graduated from two of the most dumbed-down, immoral colleges in the United States who also killed the baking industry nd the fanmily, did the sure thing by conforming to duke and u of c's code of corproate douchebaggery, took no chances by taking a job working for the viacom corportation as a culture- destoying douchebags, and is now a self-pleasuring corporate-state tool ignored and detested by millions, living with kung fu mike and ryan holliday?
^^^ Zoinks, yo!
Baking industry?
^^^ Five pounds of flax???
TAT
"and is now a self-pleasuring corporate-state tool ignored and detested by millions, living with kung fu mike and ryan holliday"
Whoa there. Take a chill pill. I think we can all agree that no one wants to think about whatever kungfumike, tucker, and ryan holiday do for body warmth in their New England cabin during those frigid nights.
In BUD/S it wasn't gay to ask another guy to pee on you. In fact, the only reason they wouldn't do it is because that would be wasting body warmth. Peeing on yourself is a lot more efficient. Last I checked, Tucker invests heavily in german scat. I believe he has his own production company where each of the newcomers have an option of orifices and one splintery sword to play eenie-meenie-miney-moe with.
"if tucker stole your domains, call the fbi. stop being a fucking pussy for once in your life and stand up for yourself. he committed a felony, if what you say is true. let the fbi figure it out and stop being a fucking loser crying pussy. you are pathetic."
Yes, the person that is using his real name on an anonymous comment section is the pussy.
I would think that the pussy is the one that can't update his blog but still has time to pick on disabled veterans. I would think the pussy is the one that agreed to a fight with an aging hipster for PR only to ignore the gauntlet being thrown down in a real octagon. Like I said, unlike MIB, I'll actually take a swing.
Andrew,
Seriously, you're annoying. Go back to your own blog. You're killing the room.
How stupid are you people? Get a life. There is an announcement coming this week regarding IHTSBIH and distibution with a major. Maybe if you guys weren't so busy hating on everything that is good in this world your lives would be better.
In fairness to Andrew let's keep in mind that by his own admission he rode the Tucker fanboy wave for four years. Now, like a Scientologist leaving the cult and seeing the error of his ways for the first time he is trying to wipe the douche from his skin. It will take some time. Be strong Andrew. Walk away from the douche. Embrace a world without being redacted.
"How stupid are you people? Get a life. There is an announcement coming this week regarding IHTSBIH and distibution with a major. Maybe if you guys weren't so busy hating on everything that is good in this world your lives would be better."
If Tucker Max is your idea of goodness, this old world is in a heap of trouble.
How stupid are us people? Stupid enough to believe yet another vague claim by an admitted narcissistic asshole who has a history of leading his rabid fanboys on with promises that never pan out?
"How stupid are us people? Stupid enough to believe yet another vague claim by an admitted narcissistic asshole who has a history of leading his rabid fanboys on with promises that never pan out?"
He probably has distribution. This movie will probably happen. None of that changes the fact that he's an idiot and a douchebag.
Less than 48 hours before you hipsters get your asses handed to you by Mr. Max. How does it feel?
"Less than 48 hours before you hipsters get your asses handed to you by Mr. Max. How does it feel?"
How is he handing anyone their asses? I'm the guy who keeps saying the movie is probably going to happen. Tucker Max is a fool who's part of the breakdown of integrity in western culture. That's MY point. When he (or you) care to demonstrate that I'm wrong, I'll entertain the notion that he's fixing to do something other than taking his place in the pantheon of douchebags.
"How stupid are us people?"
Best question EVAR! And it answers itself!
"Tucker Max is a fool who's part of the breakdown of integrity in western culture."
I've always thought that the very best part of this strange comment section phenomena, this exercise in time wasting neurosis, was the self-righteousness ploy that is used so elegantly to reassure oneself. While you take on obscure internet personalities in defense of all of Western Culture, I'll be laughing at the irony of that.
TAT
KTAT
"I've always thought that the very best part of this strange comment section phenomena, this exercise in time wasting neurosis, was the self-righteousness ploy that is used so elegantly to reassure oneself. While you take on obscure internet personalities in defense of all of Western Culture, I'll be laughing at the irony of that."
Will you also laugh at the irony that, in order to mock those who read and post here, YOU have to read and post here?
Damn, I keep returning to this blog at irregular intervals, hoping that Tucker will finally make a major announcement. Will Tucker finally get distribution for his damn movie?!? He unintentionally supplies great comedy relief, to which this blog pool owes a debt of gratitude.
Tucker... for the sake of this blog continuing, please do something. Your act is old, and the chronological gap between you and your few new fans is grower larger. The midget fetish just made you look even more mean and small minded, if it ever really happened (which your friends doubt). Come up with a new schtick, please!
Tucker says:
"Actually, the reason this took so long is because we did it in a very unconventional way."
Yes, shipping DVDs by mail order from SLF's mom's basement is very unconventional. Good job, dumbass!
You guys embarrass me. You embarrass yourselves.
How about instead of hating on someone who has actually accomplished something, you go out and actually accomplish something yourself?
That's what most people do when they are failure's themselves. Failed authors become editors or english teachers or critics.
How about you guys grow a pair, take some of Tuckers actual advice, and go out and take a shot at your dreams?
"You guys embarrass me. You embarrass yourselves.
How about instead of hating on someone who has actually accomplished something, you go out and actually accomplish something yourself?
That's what most people do when they are failure's themselves. Failed authors become editors or english teachers or critics.
How about you guys grow a pair, take some of Tuckers actual advice, and go out and take a shot at your dreams?"
You're right, I'm going to be just like Tucker and take a bunch of stories I've heard about through friends, the internet or urban myth, then I'll cleverly add my name into the stories, so it makes it seem like I actually did them. Then I'll sell the book and tell everybody that I'm the real deal and anybody who has any criticism of the book that they're just "haters" because they've never really accomplished anything.
Then I'll sort of become successful and make about enough money to lease a shitty car and live with a number of roommates, but I'll just tell everybody how "successful" I am because my book sold enough books to be ranked up there with "Chicken Soup For The Soul" and the "Drew Barrymore Diet" on the NYTimes PAPERBACK list, all the time I will wonder why if I'm so popular that the book company doesn't have the foresight to print me in hard cover? Also, I'd be wondering why some "successful" writer like me has to LIVE IN A RENTAL APARTMENT in a shitty section of Los Angeles with A NUMBER OF ROOMMATES. Then I'd claim that the reason why I'm broke is because I put all my earnings back into my big company even though IT HAS NO PAID EMPLOYEES, OFFICE, PHONES, ETC. But if I repeat the story enough, some fan boys will believe me, I mean, they believed me after I was caught in a boldfaced lie about a number of my "true" stories.
Some people just can't take a joke...
^^^ What if we don't know what our dreams are? Not everyone has the focus of Tucker.
"because my book sold enough books to be ranked up there with "Chicken Soup For The Soul" and the "Drew Barrymore Diet" on the NYTimes PAPERBACK list, all the time I will wonder why if I'm so popular that the book company doesn't have the foresight to print me in hard cover?"
I cannot tell if you are actually a fan and busting my balls just to screw with me.
Let me get this straight, you are ripping on him for actually being on the bestseller list?
I can understand ripping on someone for writing a shitty and critically panned book, but the guy's book is doing great and has been doing great for the past 3 years. If you are going to rip on him, at least hate on him for something worth hating him for.
That right there is the definition of envy. It certainly sounded like you were just coming up with reasons why being on the NY Times bestseller list is not a good thing rather than coming up with a valid point.
"What if we don't know what our dreams are? Not everyone has the focus of Tucker."
Everyone has something they've always wanted to do or accomplish. Usually we never have the guts to take a shot at it. It looks like a lot of those people are the ones that infest this comment board.
^^^ very true.
Tucker
Why do so many people hate on you?
Any theories you can share with us?
"I can understand ripping on someone for writing a shitty and critically panned book, but the guy's book is doing great and has been doing great for the past 3 years. If you are going to rip on him, at least hate on him for something worth hating him for."
Is the book critically acclaimed? Do shitty books, records, and movies not frequently make money? Your problem is that you equate popularity with greatness. The two are not the same.
"Everyone has something they've always wanted to do or accomplish. Usually we never have the guts to take a shot at it. It looks like a lot of those people are the ones that infest this comment board."
Why does it look that way? Because fame and fortune = ultimate success? It doesn't. Believing otherwise is the modern Western fallacy.
I can't speak for anyone else here, but you couldn't pay me enough money to have either Tucker's 'accomplishments' or his 'success.' The price- personal integrity, and the wherewithal to actually do something positive, lasting and meaningful- is much too high.
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