The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3601 – 3800 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Tucker Max was on my little league team. He batted ninth and struck out like everytime he went to the plate.
oh yeah, and he played right field when the coach let him play at all.
Tucker's nickname in little league was "Lupus".
i was there during the absinthe donut story. tucker didn't really crash through the window of a donut shop. what happened was this: he borrowed his friend's 1992 honda civic and was driving around blasting rap music, trying to look cool. he saw some girls walking by on the sidewalk. he revved it up and dropped the clutch to peel out and a rock shot up from the tire and hit the window (not even cracking it). tucker knew this wouldn't make for a good story so he changed it to crashing through the window.
I'm the girl from the buthsexth story. Tucker DID throw up on me, but only because he was so used to seeing MEN'S genitalia that he didn't know what to do when I took my pants off.
Also, his friend WAS in the closet, but only because Tucker had promised him 'some good secret closet-loving' after I fell asleep.
hahaha oh shit. anybody else here witness tucker's stories?
Tucker Max: I challange you to a fight. I'm talking a street-fight, none of that MMA bullshit. No weapons, no ref. Other than that, everything goes. I am completely fucking serious. Post your response on your blog, and I'll get in touch by email.
Sincurly yours,
Anonymous.
I accept as long as there are also no witnesses so only I can recount the accuracy of the confrontation.
--otto (who will own your sorry ass)
I invite all of you idiots to the RMMB so we can destroy you. I'll open a thread in a few minutes; your posts will not be deleted. And to the guy who can't spell, challanging (sic) me to a fight: You don't have a chance. I have extensive MMA training.
Tucker Max
Me, too. I'll break y'all's faces open.
~KFM
Light,
You forgot to mention that "The Midget Story" did not happen like it was written by Tucker. People who were there that night have stated that there was no way that he fucked the midget. In fact, Tucker was so drunk that somebody else had to talk to the midget FOR HIM.
This is why Tucker's book won't get published. The second it gets released he's got a ton of people who were "parts" of his stories this round who outwardly hate him. Think his "100% true" claims will hold up to that kind of scrutiny?
I witnessed the Tucker has sex with a Tranny story. It's true. He had sex with a Tranny. Put the Tranny was pre-op, and Tucker was the catcher.
I should know. I'm that Tranny. And I gave that boy the deep dickin' of his life!
Tucker: If you're reading this, call me. I want to put my penis in your butt again.
Does anyone know where I can get a hardcover copy of IHTSBIH?
Is it out of print?
My book has only been released as a paperback so far. Order from my website and I'll sign it.
Tucker Max
when is the major press going to start reporting on tucker's douchebaggery?
just because they're in bed with viacom does not mean that they shouldn't be reporting the truth.
Tucker's no where near important enough to rate as a blip on the radar for the national press.
The press isn't here to report the truth. Their primary job is to protect the pyramid power structure. Secondary is to distract you with constant coverage of liberal vs conservative, left wing vs right wing. Now that you're all divided (an conquered) on politics, the status quo is ensured of survival. There's more truth in Doonesbury than there is on the front page of a daily or newscast. Tucker's just a cog in the distraction, they're certainly not going to out him.
Don't look at Tucker, turn around and look behind you. There's the truth, waiting for you to notice.
The major media is SO old media... it's all about Gawker now... you know, the website that is simultaneously so obscure that most of the RMMB posters haven't even heard of it, yet so important that when Tucker challenges them to a bet, the same RMMB posters go nuts at how bad-a$$ he is for standing up to them.
Just you people wait... the national media will be all over our campus launch events.
Tucker Max
Who is the GC on RMMB?
The GC is Slarvey is Mike Soloway.
What's really funny about Gawker and Tucker Max is that all of his posters are pretending they don't know who Gawker is, yet around October of last year Tucker was linking to Gawker when the John Fitzgerald Page story broke.
All of those posters who stated that they've never heard of Gawker before posted on the JFP thread. Yeah dude, you've never heard of Gawker even though you LINKED TO THEIR PAGE LAST OCTOBER IN A FUCKING POST.
TMMB is like a breeding ground for liars.
As big of a douche as JFP is, he only got 3-4 articles written about him on Gawker. Tucker got 3-4 articles about him on Gawker last week.
Let's just go ahead and state the obvious:
By not responding to Tucker and his lame-ass bet, Gawker has once again completely fucking owned Mr. Max.
He claims to want Gawker to keep talking about him. Then he claims he will just be quiet and let the "jackass continue" to bray. Then he says he is controlling the stories on Gawker by leaking fake stories. Then he tries to take control of the situation by issuing a stupid semi-bet that no one gives a shit about.
And Gawker serves it right back in his face by not even taking the bait. Tucker claims to be some sort of marketing genius, but he could learn a thing or two from Gawker. They are controlling the flow of discourse on this douchebag. He only gets mentioned when they want to mention him. He tried to dictate some coverage and got completely fucking ignored (except for the awesome slapdown from Ian Spiegalman, but even he admitted that was more of a personal response than anything "official" from the Gawker staff).
Tucker Max, this game is over.
I love how Tucker claims that the "intern story" letter was fake because his douchebag assistant Gregg said he didn't write it.
Right Gregg, you didn't write it, Ian Claudius however did write it.
Tucker is claiming that the letter is false when he knows it's one of his other ex-assistants wrote the fucking thing. That's intellectual dishonesty at it's worst.
Tucker Max is a douchebag.
You fucking idiots; neither Gregg NOR Ian wrote the letter. It was I who wrote the fake piece just to prove that Gawker doesn't fact check anything.
Tucker Max
i think it is funnythat whenyou think about it, tucker is viacom's greatest artist.
now, what does that tell you about viacom and sumner redstone/leslie moonves?
I say it's time for an intervention on Tucker. He's gone over the edge and needs to be brought back to reality.
He comes to this blog several times a day, so we know he'll read the words that we type to him.
Any one else down for an online intervention?
An intervention is traditionally done by people who care . . .
Now, if you want to intervene and can figure out how to make his actions even more humorous, that be something worth trying.
i went to high school with chicago. that kid has major mommy problems. she abandoned him and really fucked him up. maybe that's why he hates women.
*with tucker
To the moron claiming to have gone to high school with me: who was our history teacher? Thought so.
Tucker Max
Our history teacher was named Mr. Absinth E. Donuts. He had a habit of exaggerating the truth so far that it became unrecognizable. Also, he was a giant douchebag. All the kids at our high school (SRDBA or Spoiled Rich DoucheBag Academy) knew he was your favorite teacher. Because you used to blow him in the teacher's lounge.
Those were the good ol' days...
Our history teacher was name Opie N. Anthony, Tucker. That's why you can't remember a damn thing.
You fucking morons make me sick. It was a trick question - I didn't HAVE a history teacher; I was taught that successful people invent their OWN history to suit their objectives.
Idiots.
Tucker Mac
Hey guys I'm the girl from the Absinthe Donuts story...you know, the one whose car Tucker crashed through a donut's shop. Only it wasn't a donut shop, it was a dildo shop. See, Tucker was really horny and wanted me to put on a strap-on and deep dick him (something about being a green fairy or something). Unfortunately the dildo shop was closed, so Tucker threw a hissy fit and drove my car through the window. When he realized what he did, he began flapping his small hands and crying, so I wiped away his prints and threw my keys into the bushes. Then he ran away, or I should say waddled...he is pretty doughy. As to why I wanted to have sex with him in the first place...well, I'm a whore.
Hi, this is the guy from the sushi pants story, the one who totally owned Tucker when we went shot for shot at the sushi bar.
Only it wasn't a sushi bar, it was a cock bar. See, I'm a bouncer at the Wet Willy, a well known gay establishment in Boca Raton. Tucker stumbled in one night, drunk off his ass and blowing on a giant pink dildo that he swore was a breathalyzer. He kept waving it in our faces and asked us to "blow" for him. Oh blow we did. We all had a good round, and then Tucker bought us all shots...cognac and alize I believe. He then kept blowing on the dildo, lisping about how his BAC was rising. Well, something was rising all right. He ended up passing out with his pants down (figure out why) and we dragged him out of the club and threw his ass into his car.
Oh you fags. You bitches. You think you're all so smart. Keep posting this hateration. I'm logging all your computers and downloading your identities as you read this...just wait...in the next 2-200 years, I'll unleash a counterattack so vicious your assholes will weep in remembering the day you first heard of "Tucker Max."
-KFM
^oh shut up, Cloud's bitch.
KOCKFUMIKE FIGHTS LIKE A GIRL
TUCKER MAC HAS TINY MIDGET HANDS
NILS PORKER INHALES PIZZAS ON A REGULAR BASIS
And no, Mike with the weather
Isn't silly little stink..I mean freak like 37 years old.
He has a post about how he went "skating" the other day.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=9837&page=232
37 and he stills goes skate boarding. You have got to be kiding me? How can not feel embaressed about that?
Come on dude, a helmet covers up the bald spot.
I remember, a few years back, that Tucker bragged about having sex with a celebrity who was "Almost Famous." Kate Hudson? For some reason I just thought of this while watching E!
hey, i was the guy who went on the opie and anthony show with tucker. i work as a liaison between tucker and actually funny people. anyway, after tucker's mom abandoned him and he started hating women, he really started to take criticism badly. that is why he is so delusional, because he is just trying to please daddy (and hes never good enough) while trying to get back at mommy (who stopped loving him). so as the liaison for tucker, the opie and anthony appearance was a real disaster. talk about someone's fragile ego being shattered. truth is, he drowned himself in his own tears that night. normally he cries himself to sleep, but that night, he literally the tears drowned him until his heart stopped. it was only through the good fortune of the miss nebraska midget he was banging that woke him up and saved his life. and that is why he will never discussion opie and anthony, because his mother doesnt love him and his father is never impressed. signed, tucker's high school classmate
This is Tucker's mother. I'm a great big whore; does anyone have any vodka?
37 and skate boarding...so much funny there. He also went and saw his friends band perform at some no-name club (He posted pictures in the "samsung moment thread)
If I had a friend at 37 who is still in a club band I would re-think my life. Or kill myself.
I Guess SLF just ask his mom to bring another PB&J and a glass of milk to the basement. Then try to find a human he deems not worthy of posting at TMMB. God I hate that DICK!!!
On a side note... Sarah Palin is the most evil demon-slut in the long history of female chicanery and deception.
37 and skating?
lol
i guess it must be the quickest form of transport when travelling between the houses of playboy models, right jon?
right, jon????!
can anyone copy SLF's stinky skate post? the thread isn't public
does tucker have a son named bryan?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,416362,00.html
Doughnut Shop Hook Up Gone Bad Turns Wild Rampage
Serious moment:
I concur on Sarah Palin. She scares the shit out of me. While it's fun to bag on a worthless shit like Tucker, Palin is a lying, intolerant, narrow-minded book banner, incapable of leading a suburban (not small town) PTA. I'll be the first to admit that I was disappointed with Obama, as he understands the problems, but doesn't really have fresh solutions. But given how the religious right stole the convention away from John McCain, and the way they are stealing our civil rights, I'll take Obama and Biden seven days a week and twice on Sundays.
But as Nixon once said, we Americans are suckers for style. She's out there to get the sympathy vote from independent and cross-over voters. If you think about it, she's the female Spiro Agnew, with the same intolerance towards the press or dissenting opinion. Like Agnew, she was nominated as a symbol to steal votes from the other side. And like Agnew, I bet she has some skeletons in her closet, as she strikes me as someone who is far too compartmentalized to realize how fucked up and out of control she really is.
McCain-Palin '08!
Nixon-Agnew '08
Max-Porker '08
"I bet she has some skeletons in her closet, as she strikes me as someone who is far too compartmentalized to realize how fucked up and out of control she really is."
says someone who really can't imagine that some people have pretty normal lives that actually do focus around family and community and aren't fucked up in any serious way. These places and people do exist, and not just on TV; I grew up surrounded by 'em. Now, Tucker and the TMMB crowd, there's not a one of them that _doesn't_ have serious disfunction somewhere - that's part of what attracted them to Tucker's nonsense in the first place. Which probably explains the distaste here, as this population is drawn from the TMMB, and nobody who's fucked up likes having normality shoved in their faces, it shows 'em what they're missing. Easier to believe the whole world is just as screwed up as you are.
Intolerant? She's not opposed to discussing creationism in school but thinks it shouldn't be required. Last I heard, that's the definition of open-mindedness - the real test of which is how we handle ideas most people disapprove of. Lying? If you believe what the NYT and MSNBC and DailyKos tell you, then it might look that way - but if they tell you the sun rises in the east, I encourage you to double-check the facts yourself.
She's a woman who is not afraid. If you DO scare easy, then no, you won't get along with her.
I liked Sarah Palin better when she wrote the "I Fucked Tucker Max" blog.
Barack Obama reminds me of Tucker. Why?
Well, the first time you read Tucker's stories, you probably thought they were funny. MAybe you were even impressed he was living life by his own rules. Then, you realize his stories are all basically the same, moderately bullshit, drinking stories everyone has. Only difference is, they're told by an egotistical douchebag with fanboys.
Now consider Barack Obama. You have a fresh, exciting guy (particularly compared to Hillary Clinton or John McCain). He talks about change, self empowerment, etc. The kind of stuff everyone likes. Then when you get into specifics, "Change" means more taxes, more government, and a guy who can't string together 2 coherent sentences without a teleprompter (Tucker much?). But he's got fanbois, also known as CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, etc.
I'll take a woman that can skin a moose over a professional politician any day.
There is only ONE issue for this election, and that is who is going to keep the Islamonazi creeps out of this country. Rag on Christian fundies all you want. Maybe they dislike gays and abortion. The pieces of shit in Iran kill gays and women who want divorces.
Barack Obama = Tucker Max.
They both lived in Chicago.
They're both bullshit artists. If you buy into Tucker's line of bullshit, well no big loss. Unless you're Ryan, Erin, Ian, Gregg, Luke, Jordan, Darko, etc.
If you buy into Barack's bullshit, no big loss. Unless you have a job (more taxes) or drive a car (higher gas prices) or own stocks (higher capital gains taxes) or don't like the government making decisions for you. But if you're unemployed or an illegal immigrant or don't like thinking for yourself, vote for Barack!
I see that the Viacom douchebags want their fiat dollars to keep coming in from supporting the GOP.
Viacom=Tucker=McCain
Tucker did serve in the military where he wrecked two planes. He never got a chance to wreck a 3rd due to "The McCain Rule", which doesn't allow drunken sons of privledge to wreck 3 US aircrafts.
Nice try, but Viacom has published 2 books by Barack Obama. He was given an advance to write a biography while he was still in law school. He had less to write about than Tucker Max, yet viacom paid him $100,000 up front and the New York Times reviewed his book -- a biography of (at that time) a completely insignificant lawyer.
Maybe you should ask yourself: Why Viacom/CBS, GE/MS/NBC, Disney/ABC, AOL/TIME-WARNER/CNN love Barack Obama? Why do they hate a woman from Alaska?
I liked Sarah Palin a lot more when she wrote the "I Fucked Tucker Max" blog.
In this country we need a bigger government and more taxes. Yes, I am completely serious. It's easy for people who are privileged to bemoan the evils of having to pay taxes and having the government interfere in their lives. (I find it ironic that the people who can most easily afford to pay taxes are also the ones who complain the loudest.)
Kudos to the poster who mentioned the dangers of Islamofacism. It's not PC, but it's reality.
And one more thing: JFK got it wrong. Ask not what the people can do for their country. Instead, ask what the COUNTRY can do for its PEOPLE. Because, lest we forget, our constitution begins with the words, "We the people."
...yeah. Anywho, Gawker is gonna laugh it the fuck up when Otto's movie fails. Even SLF and KFM will realize that Otto is just a washed-up bitch.
RAND corporation created the empire that stands today, the infrastructure composed of the billions of intricate particles and minutae that dominate the world...FUCK TUCKER MAX
Oddly enough, Sarah Palin's nickname in high school:
Bunny
I don't think SLF can ever let go of Otto's lies. To do so, he would have to admit that he's an utter failure that's basing his failed existence on an utter failure. (Who's the bigger failure, the failure, or the failure that follows the failure).
I looked at Light's blog. Damn, SLF looks like a pedophile.
I looked at SLF's blog. Damn, Light looks like a pedophile.
http://thepoint.breakpoint.org/2008/09/sharing-a-pint.html
Can we make a list of all the Rudius douches for easier reference?
Tucker Max
Nils Parker - Drex
Erin Tyler - TheBunny
Ryan Holiday
Donika Miller
Ben Corman
Jon Tando - SLF
Luke Heidelberger - MrJake
I think I've read KFM's and other names on here. Just copy the list and add them.
^^^Let's also make sure to call KFM by his REAL name, Michael Boulerice. He tries to maintain anonymity by being called KungFu; we discourage that here.
Chunky chick sort of kind of digs Tucker:
http://www.blueblood.net/2008/09/tucker-max-vs-gawker/
Hey Amelia, we dislike Tucker because he's full of shit.
^^^Jesus, look at Tucker's fucking mishaped head. It's shaped like a fucking ice cream cone. What a horse-face.
http://www.blueblood.net/boards/showthread.php?p=179385#post179385
"I was trapped in an RV with Tucker Max as he drunkenly sped through Harlem and caused numerous hit and run accidents against parked cars and almost a couple people. He's a grade A shitbag and I will never again contribute to his success."
"It was when we all met up in NY for "Tuckerfest" way back in 2001. It was supposed to be for a good number of the messageboard regulars to meet. Tucker rented an RV and him and a bunch of the forum regs, myself included, went driving around. One of the other members threw a beer bottle out the window and it hit an SUV in the next lane who started chasing us through Harlem. Tucker lost control and went banging back and forth up the rows of parked cars on either side. When the camper stopped I jumped out and said fuck you guys, enjoy prison. I was underage at the time and fairly drunk. I walked all the way from the north of Harlem to the Port Authority. Tucker and the crew got arrested and by the time I got home I had been banned from the boards and wasn't even allowed to tell my side while they talked about how I "ran away" at a full sprint like a pussy. Fuck those guys. Fuck 'em all."
Tucker Max is a Doucebag.
I was driving on tuesday and listening to bubba the love sponge in the afternoon.
some mark for tucker called in and was trying to convince bubba and spiceboy to get tucker on for an interview....
how many people think that it was one of his rudius staff members that was put up to call in for that bullshit? HAH.
I really hope they get him for an interview, I emailed the show and sent them the links to the opie and anthony callout video, spiceboy responded and basically said that this guy is a james frey hack and they knew that this caller was trying to work them into a shoot.
nice try tuck. if you ever do end up on BTLS, be sure that I'll be calling in to rain on your parade.
Hey, who's a doucebag?
^^ Tucker Max is, I heard somewhere.
^^Mucker Tax is a boucedag.
^^No kidding. They better not raise the mucker tax again this year. I can barely afford boucedags as it is.
Remember when Tucker and Ryan totally dismissed the Amazon Kindle?
...yeah, it's the number-one selling electronic device on Amazon.
Remember when Tucker and Ryan totally dismissed Hulu.com?
...yeah, it's #624 on Alexa.com.
...just sayin'...
Don't know if this has already been linked but here: http://sfts.nothingroom.com/?p=175
oh yeah, I met tucker once...at 36-hour, all-man anal-play "deep as you can go" party. he was a hot, sticky mess that night. I was just there...uh...dropping off a friend. yeah, that's the ticket.
Tucker brags about the time he sold-out the theater at Duke. Does any one know how many seats and how much each ticket went for?
He posted a poll at his site on 09/01 asking his fans to predict how much money his movie will make.
Six days later and 700 people have posted their guesses. Only 700 people in 6 days?
If each one of them brings a friend to the see his movie on opening weekend he'll be seeing a hefty 14 grand.
Where is this fan base?
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6374594.html
somebody contact Jeremie Ruby-Strauss and find out what the deal is with assholes finish first.
Ruby-Strauss: No, the website is like a super long proposal. It might nail the concept or we might have to reconfigure it. If you look at Real Ultimate Power, Robert Hamburger’s book, you’ll see that it is much deeper than his site. That difference was the result of eighteen drafts. But you could just tell that the guy was a genius, and that it would pay off. Tucker Max, on the other hand, wouldn’t even let me fix his punctuation.
http://www.slushpile.net/index.php/2006/05/17/interview-jeremie-ruby-strauss/
Predictably, Tucker turned to Rudius and had his board members edit his book after it was published. The editing mistakes they found filled dozens of pages in the thread. But that's okay, from Thomas More to William Goldman, that's how all the greats writers have done it — publish first, then have strangers point out the grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and punctuation inaccuracies for free.
Did Thomas More write about fucking a midget in Utopia?
Rum Tum Tucker is a curious doucebag.
New post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sFw5YIXSrU
That's hot.
Light, you're a man of your word. Plus, burning trash is environmentally responsible. Nice job!
I'm to the point now where I want McCain elected, I want the middle class to diminish at a faster rate, I want the government to have a broader license to investigate regular Americans, I want the police to have more leeway, I want everyone to be suspected of terrorism until they are proven innocent, I want former members of skull and bones running our CIA, I want current members of bilderberg and CFR and Trilateral and the Bohemian Grove dictating our foreign policy. I want all these things so that the stupid gullible fucks that trust our government and still have their cocksucking mouths wide open for the spoon will get everything they deserve. You thought by supporting these shitbags that you were somehow on the team. Didn't you? You thought maybe you had a seat at the table. Didn't you? They won't throw your fear-driven, sycophantic ass a scrap from their table because your are a larval human to them, a CONSUMER, an EATER!! The whole puppet show, the big production, worked so hard to divide you against the faggot liberal, the America hating democrat, and the democrat was fooled as well, against the jackbooted, war loving repug. Unfortunately the recruits on both sides are oblivious, the result of a well-played out emotional schematic in the tradition of Lippman and Bernays! The worms, the genetic underclass, keep rattling cages, emoting (as lower beings are wont to do) and acting out in fear, losing reason, and being dragged down by the stone. Oh I wish! I wish I wish, the worst would come to pass. Perhaps they culd orchestrate another depression! Oh that would be wondrous!! You sleeping fucks, you divided, you uninformed and knee-jerk reactionaries. I want you hungry now. I want you suffering.
Tucker,
Are you allowed in any of the editing sessions?
JGB
No, they banned me from the editing sessions for life after I shit explosive diarrhea all over the editing room.
Anon 9/08/2008 1:29 PM,
SHUT THE FUCK UP and go to Alex Jones' website if you want this black helicopter conspiracy bullshit. This place exists to expose Tucker Max for being a lying douchebag, not for you to give us your bullshit.
Tucker: you have still not responded to my challange to a street-fight, and therefore you are a pussy. You're a big man pickin on comedians who are obviously joking around, but when a real man calls you out, you run. Well then, admit it motherfucker. You're a pussy. ADMIT IT!!!
@ 7:59 PM
I guess you should call out (or is that "wahoo") Tucker on his message board rather than here. It's not like he'd instaban you and delete your post.
Oh, wait...
This is great! Even YouTube people hate Tucker:
http://youtubereviewed.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/burn-tucker-max-burn/
SLF's latest post at rmmb
"P.S. - I'm a boring faggot nancyboy that needs my teeth kicked in by a tender compassionate bearded self-hating posable action figure who knows nothing other than what he is spoon fed by other self-loathing cretins.
But that's another thread. S'Lichot service is coming up and we have much to atone for."
Huh?
Anon 9/08/2008 1:29 PM,
black helicopter conspiracy bullshit
9/08/2008 6:46 PM
There is no such thing as a conspiracy. All conspiracy theorists are crazy people. FDR didn't know about pearl harbor in advance and Operation Northwoods is a document concocted by wacko conspiracy theorists.
Horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max has been quiet lately. What new shenanigans will he get into?
douchebaggery is not a conspiracy.
it is just the modern, degraded, short-term manner of doing business that they teach at duke/u of c and fund at viacom/darko.
tucker is douchebaggery's pinnacle performer, and he is well compensated for destroying honor and integrity, as that makes it easier for wall street beomoths like fannie mae and freddie mac to get government bailouts from the taxpayers.
do you not see? whether tucker is impregnating your wife, or they're taking your tax dollars and bailing out vast corproations where the execs make off with billions, they are transferring all the risk to you, and the wealth to themselves. you get to pay for teh propagation of their douchebag dna. that's why they got rid of real men on university campuses.
otto's making himself obsolete. Maybe I'll hope for for the demise of the axis of evil now.
Tucker Max is gay, y'all. That's all THAT is. Get over it already.
^^^Word up, dun. Word up...
Horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max is on vacation. Apparently, almost ruining the filming of a movie is tiring.
As for conspiracy theories:
"We don't appear to have been visited by aliens. Why would they only appear to cranks and weirdos?"
-Stephen Hawking
Horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max should agree to be castrated if his movie makes less than 10 million. If he truly has balls, he needs to put them where his mouth is.
^ As KungFu Mike would say, "Are you theriouth? Are you theriouth?"
Otto's message board traffic has fallen off the cliff, per alexa. His site used to rank in the close to 10,000th most popular during its heyday. Now it is in the 70,000 range. Otto has firmly become a relic of the pre-youtube Internet.
wow.
not that alexa is the end all be all of a gauge for a website (although tucker thinks it is), his site is falling dramatically.
those absinthe websites must be contemplating pulling their ads..
http://www.otto-max.com/
kikes
the kikes
the dirty fucking kikes
kikes
the kikes
the dirty fucking kikes
kike yids
the filthy zionists
the dirty kikish yids
bunch of filthy zionists
all of the kikes
all the dirty fucking kikes
all the dirty fucking yids
kike yids
the zionists
zionists
zionists
all the dirty fucking kikes
kike yids
the zionists
zionists
zionists
zionistic fucking kikes
all the dirty kikes
all the filthy kikes
dirty kike zionistic yids
It's interesting and telling that the 'deals' link was removed from the Rudius Media site.
-Bunny's book?
-Philalaywer book?
-Philalaywer movie?
-The TV show Tucker was bragging that he'd brokered?
All gone.
^Dude, what are you talking about? Kikes are some of the smartest, cleanest, most successful people in the world! Somebody's jealous...
So if I'm reading correctly nine of these pending projects have yet to see the light of day?
Yes, nine have not ever gotten off the drawing board. And this was posted almost two years ago. Other than the Philalawyer book and the movie, none of the projects are going anywhere.
BTW, the Philalawyer book is getting quite a few bad reviews on Amazon. Tucker has the anti-Midas touch, everything he touches turns to shit.
look at the 5 star reviews. Some are legitimate (amazon vine), half of them (Jon Tando) are from people who have only written 1 review. Yet they reviewed a book which hasn't been released yet. Smells like tucker.
And as is par for the course, Jon Tando (SLF) immediately gives the five stars. And lies about how he just happened to get a copy of the book. Pathetic.
I like Philalawyer, but it's pathetic how Tucker is trying to manipulate reviews of this book as well.
I work for Harper Collins (PhilaLawyer's publisher) and this book is being leaked/stolen like crazy. Manuscripts have disappeared and it's now being closely guarded. They do send advance copies to the press, and I'm sure they spread some around the Rudius crowd.
With that said, the rumor is that Tucker has been totally uninvolved with the project. It sounds like he promised a lot of help and then completely disappeared. I guess that girl editor of PhilaLawyer's has been doing the work on Rudius's behalf, without Tucker's cooperation. Way to support your writers and staff when it matters, Tucker!
Where is part 7 of that play?
Philalawyer hates Tucker. They had a falling a while ago when Tucker abandoned Rudius to become a filmmaker.
Robert Greene doesn't even answer Tucker's phone calls anymore.
As for conspiracy theories:
"We don't appear to have been visited by aliens. Why would they only appear to cranks and weirdos?"
-Stephen Hawking
9/10/2008 5:03 PM
Very Nice. This is what Edward Bernays, or even Lippman, would refer to as diversion/ridicule/redirection. First you bring up conspiracy theories, then you couple this broad topic with one singular ridiculous item (aliens) and a quote, and to the sheeple that you have directed this at, their simple little brains will identify and relate the broad topic of conspiracies with something silly and inane. This is how propagandists protect conspirators, by convincing us all that conspiracies are silly, and simply don't exist. By painting anyone who seeks to expose the reality of something, as a wacko.
My ex girlfriend actually knows who the Philalawyer is and where he works. It seems the man cant really keep his mouth shut when it comes to his blog. i dont get the point of anonymity if your just gonna blab it.
Or it actually may have been tucker who blabbed. idk i think she met up with him at the book signing thing or whatever.
PhilaLawyer stole Hunter S. Thompson's style, and his "morals" are cynical and stupid.
I used to read PL's stuff. It was good, but felt boring fast. Most of the reviews echo that sentiment.
Here's silly little fag's "review":
I was given an advanced copy of this book today by a friend [object of your gay love] without knowing what it was about nor the author's name [because you're too busy on the rmmb and fucking playboy bunnies to read rudius blogs?]. Turns out this was for the best after reading some of the reviews.
I love this book. I love it for the same reasons I love Bukowski [because it sounds like bukaki?]. The same reasons I love Sedaris [Tucker told you to love Sedaris?]. This is a flawed man who sees things in a way I can only get mere glimpses of [since you spend all your time writing fake reviews and banning people on rmmb]. These are stories that I would never want to live but relish knowing that someone has. Just like I have lived my own life, lived my own adventures, made my own mistakes and successes; the author let me into their world. I shared their failures and foibles, laughed with them and at them, and knew who they were at those points in time of their lives.
I believe that was the whole point. There is no grand scheme, there is no grand finale, there is no denouement. There is just a sharing of experiences. [Every other reviewer (that didn't put it down in disgust or boredom) mentioned closure in the final chapter. Did you even read the first chapter?]
Unfettered, raw, course, lovely and abrasive.
Give me more. [Isn't that what Tucker said? Give me more reviews?]
John Tando is such a fucking liar. Of course he knew who wrote the fucking book. He even asked other mods how they could get him an advance copy.
Hey John, how's Inane?
Tucker has fucked twins, an amputee, and a midget. All that's left is for him to fuck a man, and he can officially claim the title of "fuck-up."
For most people, "fuck" implies penis/vagina or penis/ass interaction. But tucker lives by his own rules. And his own English. So, masturbating while in the same room as a passed out midget is considered fucking.
Tucker didn't fuck a midget, at least not in the story in which he claimed. If he does claim it there are at least 3 people who were at the place the alledged fornication occurred who will call him out as a liar.
Maybe that's why tucker hasn't written anything new. He's "famous" enough now that when his "true story" happens, there's half a dozen people calling his shit. Hell, people from 10 years ago are calling bullshit.
SOMEONE POST A REVIEW ON AMAZON EXPOSING THE FACT THAT TUCKER HIRES STOOGES TO MANIPULATE POTENTIAL BUYERS!
EXPOSE SILLYLITTLEFAG
SLF's mom was considering putting out a missing persons report on Jon. He wasn't at his computer posting fake reviews and his skate board was still in the garage.(It still kills me that he's 37 and still skate boards) She look everywhere for him and couldn't find him. She was really scared. Then she heard a sound that was strange to her...
It was the sound of the shower running. After all her concern over SLF's where abouts turns out he was taking his monthly shower to wash the stink off himself.
You guys say what you will about SLF and KFM and Tucker, but leave the Bunny out of it! She is a sweet, caring, sensitive person who deserves respect and sympathy.
nobody associated with tucker & co. deserve sympathy. the bunny might be damaged goods but she could walk away from tucker. the fact that she hasn't is why i have no sympathy for her.
Bunny is like a cult member. When I met her she kept talking about Tucker's stories and how they applied to our conversation. The problem was, the stories she claimed were true were the same ones that he definitely lied about.
She's drunk off the Kool-Aid and it's not going to stop. No mercy.
The video of the fight between Kung Fu Mike and Cloud Starchaser has been taken down. Apparently Mike Soloway Esq. has threatened legal action if this video was not taken down.
Mike is Tucker's attorney btw.
In the video a much skinnier Cloud fought Snot Face Mike to a virtual draw before Mike Soloway (Tucker's attorney) had to step in to break up the brawl.
^^^ What is his cause of action? Invasion of privacy? I question whether he has a legal claim - that video was filmed on a public street.
He was videotaped without his consent, he says it in the video.
Remember when Tucker fancied himself as a hero of free speech?
Why does everyone (including Cloud himself) say that they fought to a draw? When one fighter pins the other to the ground and screams "You're my bitch, Mike!" that's not a draw.
You don't need consent to video tape someone in public. If that were true, the paparazzi would be out of business. I guess freedom of expression ends when your ass is getting kicked by a guy with no training.
Britney Spears (for example), being a public figure, doesn't have the same right to privacy that joe nobody (eg, kunt fag mike) has.
Under the DMCA (not the issue, but similar), if someone complains to youtube, youtube will take down the video (to avoid any liability), regardless of merit. The original uploader must then respond as to why it's legal, fair use, etc.
Gawker has done exactly the right thing by not justifying Tuck's bullshit with a response. Now, Tucker just looks like a puppy yapping at the wind with his bets and challanges.
^^^ Oh, yeah, dude, no joke. Tucker thought the Gawker thing would swell up into this big public feud, drawing attention to him and his stupid vanity project... instead, Gawker basically sent the message that 'we talk about little Tucker whenever WE want to.' It totally invalidates the stance Tuckster tried to take a few weeks before when the script leaked and he had to do damage control: "Look, y'all, I'm pulling everyone's strings and stirring up attention for my artwork!" No, Tucker, your strings got pulled, you tried to pull back, and you ended up looking like an idiot.
The funniest part is that during the Gawk-fest, Tucker kept acting like this was all great press for his big movie. Well, brah, the movie's still, like, seven months away, and guess what? The big media people didn't pick you up, your traffic didn't skyrocket, the Michael Ian Black thing didn't launch you into the public eye (don't you get it? He didn't blow you off because he's scared. NOBODY CARES THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO FIGHT HIM. NOBODY'S IMPRESSED THAT A GROWN MAN, WELL ON HIS WAY TO MIDDLE AGE, IS WILLING TO GET DRUNK AND HAVE A FISTFIGHT. YOU'RE NOT COOL, EDGY, AND UNPRECEDENTED, YOU'RE SAD.), and now, when the movie comes out next Spring, nobody will remember the Gawker thing, except to say, "oh, yeah, wasn't that the dude that website ripped on last year or something?"
Nice marketing, new-media-master.
That Ryan Holiday's girlfriend is a looker, huh?
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2056/2043341397_ecd0094b84.jpg
And, by 'looker', I mean 'not attractive at all.'
^^^It's not that she's unattractive, but somebody does need to tell her not to grimace like that. And is that what Ryan Holiday looks like? Holy shit, what a douche. His face is just asking for a fist.
How did you find that pic of Holiday and his "beard?"
ugh he's like a younger version of tucker
The striped pink shirt screams "man's man."
3799
3800
BUFTHSECTS!
C'mon all you tucker max douchebags.
C'mon.
You called down the thunder.
And now all you pussies are running.
Running on back to burrow your heads in Tucker's VIACOM mantits--to cuck that VIACOM cash--as your mothers were Bunny whores with cum all over theirs.
C'mom. C'mon. C'mon!
THIS SITE IS ALIVE AND KICKING!
09/13/08
KARMA.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN A NICER HUMAN.
RYAN HOLIGAY looks like the guy whose lunch money I used to take...
His face sure is a fist magnet.
Where is the rest of the Tucker interview? I have been checking back here every day because I'm dying to find out where Tucker is!
Come on, Interview writer guy! Don't leave us hanging!
Alan Greenspan said this is the worst US economy he's ever seen. He also said Tucker Max is a douchebag.
Tucker, if you read this:
Interview writer guy has more talent in his appendix than you will ever have. You creative black hole.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2056/2043341397_ecd0094b84.jpg
Ryan Holiday's girlfriend looks like a real live witch. don't cast the spell of mediocrity on me, shape-shifter!
good work, holiday. your girlfriend is literally the ugliest human being i have seen today. power couple!
This "blog" sucks ass.
It's Logan the douchebag $30,000 millionaire and his soritute girlfriend!
At least Gayan Holigay saves 5 minutes getting ready for male prostitution every morning, seeing as the overexposure to estrogen in his mother's womb, combined with weak paternal genes, has made it necessary for him to undergo hormonal replacement therapy (testo shots!) at the tender age of 17. At least that's what his ex-girlfriend says. She also said that everybody used to make fun of him because his balls hadn't dropped at said age. And, well, she told everyone after she had a fallout with him (he wanted to wear diapers all the time, citing neglect during early childhood as an excuse).
Results, i.e. FACIAL HAIR, have yet to manifest, however. They may have to put him on shark steroids to see any improvement.
^^^Dude, that's extreme. I mean, Ryan Holiday does look like a pedarast, but shark steroids? Holy shit.
^^^Like I said: He was so underdeveloped that he would hang out with kids 3 years his junior. His ex also said that she went out with him a few times out of pity; she quickly got fed up with his numerous insecurities and him calling her all the time. The diaper thing was just the straw that broke the camel's neck, but at least it gave her "a way out", so to speak; she basically snapped and told everyone what his -ahem- sexual preferences were after he started spreading rumors behind her back.
And why is it harsh? Have you never heard of doctors inducing puberty in underdeveloped boys by administering testosterone?
Apparently he experienced testicular torsion at hte age of 16; he almost lost a nut (actually happened to a friend of mine).... Now LOOK UP at what age boys USUALLY suffer from this; basically the risk is almost zero as soon as your balls drop... And as I mentioned, testosterone therapy doesn't really seem to work for him, unfortunately. Shark steroids are rather dangerous, though (at least that's what I've heard).
She mentioned that he used to be THE SWEETEST GUY, bordering on stalkerish. After the humiliating events and meeting Otto, however, he started this misogynist stuff. That's why he hates that violent acres chick with a passion.
AS TUCKER MAX' "PR SPOKESMAN" OR WHATEVER RYAN WILL SURELY BECOME TUCKER MAX FAMOUS IN HOLLYWOOD AMIRITELOL??!
Holy shit! For real? That's umm, Wow.
You see? The preceding comments demonstrate why and how this "blog" sucks ass.
^^why dose this blog suck ass ryan???? inuqiring minds want to know
yeah you gotta love how you KNOW when t.m., SLF or ryan post here. because everyone else agrees with this blog :)
"You see? The preceding comments demonstrate why and how this "blog" sucks ass."
Off course this BLOG blows -- it's about Tucker!
It's just fun because we all know that he and his angry powerless army of idiots come here everyday and they're forced to read the unfiltered truth.
They have no control over this, Who knows how the fuck his movie will do. It might be great. He actually made the movie happen. Credit where credit is due. However that doesn't negate the tooliness of his soul.
I bet Tucker likes this site. It's fun. He has to have a sense of humor about himself right, otherwise he's doomed.
"why dose this blog suck ass ryan???? inuqiring minds want to know"
Wow. You guys are a bunch of geniuses.
"Wow. You guys are a bunch of geniuses."
why thank you!!!! my mom would always say that I'm speshuuuul too. just like your mom told you, Ryan.
I heard you're a PR behemoth (look it up - oh wait, you REAAAD so much, silly me) working for rudius for the amazing salary of ZERO US DOLLARS. Surely it is worth dropping out of college for.
You little genius you
OH NOES THE BROWN SHIRTS ARE GONNA "WAHOO" US FOR THAT.
People don't actually work for Rudius do they?
I mean like filing out paperwork for payroll taxes, 1099, expenses, etc.
Is it an actual company or four idiots on Yahoo IM?
http://personalbrandingblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/an-interview-from-hell-with-the-famous-tuckermax/
Have you guys checked out that personal branding douche blog yet? It's hilarious. Two micro (or shall we say pico) celebrities fellating each other. LOL
^^ Ryan is "observing" Hollywood, remember? JUST YOU WAIT! IMMA REVOLUTIONIZE TEH HOLYWOODZ!! RAAAAAAA RAAA RAAAA!!!
Riding on coat tails much, Ryan?
Too bad there isn't too much to get a hold of, right?
who came up with the glorious term "wahoo", anyway?
I bet Tucker and his team are behind the fake interviews posted here.
"I bet Tucker and his team are behind the fake interviews posted here."
There's NO WAY any of his drones (nor him, for that matter) could come up with something as genuinely funny as "Nils goes into the kitchen and inhales a pizza" and the other stuff...
As his wannabe therapist, Ryan could also (as he often does) point out how Tucker's a narcissist, as if it were some kind of achievement, adding that he (Tuck) is thus incapable of making fun of himself.
Newsflash: not having a soul is not an achievement, Ryanna. Is it okay if we call you Ryanna, Ryanna?
CaptCapital = J. Patrick Dewey
Ryanna = TheBunny sans penis
You know what might be awesome? Tucker's film comes out and pulls like four million at less than a five hundred theaters. He'll do some creative math to show us that "per available seat count my film outpreformed both The Dark Knight and Titanic" blah blah. It will hit DVD and do decent numbers with retards and idiots.
BUT, the film will somehow screen in Barcelona, Spain and be HUGE. Picture Tucker being flown into packed Bullfighting arenas via helicopter, etc. He becomes one of the biggest stars in Barcelona. However, no one in the USA or any other part of the world cares. So he's basically landing back at LAX and walking to his car unnoticed. Zero fanfare. Sitting at bars nursing beers like he's invisible mumbling "raise your hand if you ever fucked a bullfighter's sister..."
I must say, thanks for the entertainment you provide us Tibor. Not as you planned it AT ALL, but entertainment none the less.
lol
i love reading shit like that, great find!
Tucker Max is fucked. Think of it:
1. His movie fails. We mock him, he's an utter loser, the end.
2. His movie does mediocre. We still mock him, people call him out on his bullshit, he's fucked.
3. His movie does great. He makes millions. We mock him anyway, and wait until he falls. He'll fall.
I wonder if the financial meltdown of Wall Street means someone doesn't the funds anymore to pay for the editing of a beer/fart/puke movie.
As Neil Young would say, "I'm wonderin'..."
No problem, Light. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Even some chick who initially wanted to fuck Otto realized in short order that he's a liar, and above all, that Tucker Max is a doucebag.
You'd be amazed at the interesting stuff you can find starting with a Google search for: tucker max liar
And then take it a few pages deep, modify your search... Be creative!
There is plenty of evidence out there that conclusively demonstrates that Tucker Max is indeed a doucebag!
P.S. http://www.otto-max.com/
And would the writer of the Tucker interviews reveal him (or her) self? We are all in awe at your skill at mocking Tucker, and would love to find out what our doucebag anti-hero is up to next.
@ 7:51
You forgot shit. Explosive diarrheal liquishits in public places. Oh, and Mexicans, especially those who perform a servile function. And midgets. Because they have chubby little sausage fingers and are funny because they're small.
That's what comedic revolutions are made of.
Keep in mind this. Tucker has never ever once in his life had to worry about money. His dad is a multimillionare and has been for many years. When Tucker moves to places like NYC he doesn't ever worry about the price of rent or deposits. He is covered 100%.
The movie "making him millions" will not be enough. He already has millions. Guy has never sweated a single bill in his entire life. he's living with 20 nets below him. zero risk.
Anyone think the real reason Tucker has gone radio silent over on the movie blog is because the whole project is about to fall apart based on the terrible footage that Darko and the financiers are finally getting their eyes on? Can you say "dump it straight to DVD," Tucker?
My guess is he took his "vacation" at the request of Darko executives. As in: Get the fuck away from our people and let them work so we have some prayer of recouping our losses on this piece of shit.
"We wrap principal photography on my first movie in two days. As soon as we wrap, I am getting in my car and taking my beloved mutt Murphy and driving back to LA to take a two week vacation, both from this blog and from life. This has been the hardest six weeks of my life, and I need a break. This post, and one more very special post on Friday and I will be gone until September 15th, when we'll come back with a vengeance, with posts about editing, distribution, and all sorts of videos and things we just didn't have time to get to during shooting."
tucker max, would you please ask your fans to stop raping women? thanks http://www.truecrimereport.com/2008/09/tucker_max_fan_accused_of_rape.php
Tucker is mid 30s now. He lives with 3 (maybe 4) other people. In new York, he had room mates. In chicago, he had room mates. In texas, he had room mates. Is he a total loser, or will landlords not rent to him?
Tucker Max is failing now,
Failing now,
Failing now,
Tucker Max is failing now,
My fair lady.
Haha!
In addition to sanitizing his own forums of any single negative comment, Tucker has to work overtime cleaning his wiki page.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Tucker_Max
How will he cope when this thing explodes?
For a guy who claims to be a marketing genius he really dropped the ball by censoring his forums. If he let anyone post that place would be a daily visit for tens of thousands not hundreds.
He shot himself in the foot. But I guess you're only as good as the people you surround yourself with.
Tucker Max's wikipedia entry is a joke. It used to be "fair and balanced," but now all of the negative stuff has been excised and only positive "facts" of dubious origins remain. What a douche! He must get so pissed off when he visits this blog because he knows he cannot control what is posted here.
He (Tucker) was supposed be be done vaction on the 15th he promised all kinds of updates about the movie. He is still non exsistent on his OWN board!
I check his site earlier today and 8 people were viewing the "Movie board" Way to go Tucker! Ton's of people are waiting your return. The movie is gonna a be a smash..as in smashed into the back of the straight to DVD bin.
Oh yeah Can anyone confirm that Jon Tanto (Silly little freak) really smells bad? I know it's hard to smell a 37 year old "Skateboard king" as he cruises by you but, anyone caught a wiff of Silly little stink?
Tucker Max made his own postcard:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/SMMS_NkVnyI/AAAAAAAAF54/sPKc18Huwxs/s1600-h/tuckermax.jpg
What a fucking doucebag...
Is it September 15th yet? 'Cause I'm REALLY excited to see the 'Beer in Hell' blog come back with a vengeance!
Post a Comment