The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
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Matt Czuchry's bio on IMDB:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0194516/bio
Matt Czuchry's listed height: 5' 9.5"
~~~~
Jesse Bradford's bio on IMDB:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0103038/bio
Jesse Bradford's height: 5' 8"
~~~~
Photo of Tucker standing beside Matt and Jesse:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/2647333533/in/set-72157605851343813/
Is it a felony for Tucker to lie about his height on his driver's license? Or maybe Jesse and Matt are just standing on a lunch box or bag of weasels. Finding something true out of Tucker's mouth is starting to take on Grail like proportions... it's now a search for something mythical and improbable.
i think the 6' in tucker's height comes from nils's width.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/2647333533/in/set-72157605851343813/
i bet the management at viacom has all the interns read this blog so that they can learn about the new media revolution being lead by their new media guru tucker max.
Ha, ha, ha.... otto repair... hee, hee, hee.
Viacom has heavy tabs on Tucker Max, I'm betting that Ian Claudius was a mole for Viacom. The CIA has long been watching the activity on his board, as some of Tucker's posts are actually cryptic codes for other like-minded sleeper agents. His mods, if left unchecked, have the power to delete the entire nation's database of douchebags and millions of people could disappear in an instant.
Years from now they will be teaching the "Tucker Max Business Model" at the most prestigious business schools in America. HIs film will be studied as the piece of fine American art that it is. Literature classes will dissect "The Famous Sushi Pants Story" as a turning point in American culture.
A university will be built in his honor, its motto will be: "Did you shit on my dick?"
Another piece of Tucker's revolutionary marketing plan emerges. An interview with some douchebag who runs a blog on "Personal Branding:"
http://personalbrandingblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/an-interview-from-hell-with-the-famous-tuckermax/
Seriously, do yourself a favor and go look at the blog just to check out the dude's Facebook picture that he posts on the right-hand sidebar. Fucking classic.
The Tucker Max marketing revolution continues!
"What makes me write them? Why does any artist create anything? "
Who is the artist?
viacom isn't a conspiracy
it's just what happens when
boomer douchebags
hire douchebag ivy leaguers
to create
art
and
destory the culture
as the bankers on high
command them to
as they print money
grow the government
sieze property
destroy the family
and enlarge the corporation
transferring wealth
to the small men
at the
top.
the problem with tucker is that he's blowing viacom's cover. . . and it will not be long. . .
Viacom IS a conspiracy, you impotent redneck...they are part of the splinter faction formed in the late seventies when RAND first consolidated the AWOW and Defensive Air Tactics into one mega conglomerate. It was around this time that their work in bio-engineering was about to reach a new level of paradigmatic technologies that instilled within competing marketers a great fear of the zeitgeist of the 80s that were so characteristic of the RAND juggernaut.
Hence, Viacom and its subsidiaries, (including Darko of course) entered a pact with the RAND twelve, an elite group of politicians and scientists whose nefarious deeds include a failed coup of the presidential election in 1972 (endorsed by none other than Mr. Nixon) and systematically erasing the nation of Boubwei off the map (see references on the Maori treaty of Waitangi settlements for more details), conducted a meeting under the basement of the D.C. department. Along with numerous plots regarding the dissemination of media to vulnerable targets (i.e. the general public), one in particular captured the hearts and minds of the sacred twelve.
That one was Tucker Max.
To spread douchebaggery, to spread his lies across the global curtain would spark a revolution of sorts, a mass hysteria of men and women who would grow to worship this debacle, this mistake of mankind. The pleb would throw down the hoe and grab a ho, eschewing hard work and productivity for the sake of vomiting and pissing on crack whores. It was a grand dream of the RAND masters, who would fill the void once populated by the intellectual, the debater, and the thinker, with their own nefarious agents. The intellectual would become the hypersexual, the debater the masturbater, and the thinker the heavy drinker, and the world would be ripe for the plucking.
RAND dreams that we all bend over for Tucker Max, the agent of destruction who will drain our brains of any cognitive protest as they sink their tendrils into the systems that were so precariously set up by our forefathers. It won't be long that while we bask in the glow of utter douchebaggery, RAND will emerge as the new Big Brother, casting his disapproving glare down upon us all.
Take action now before the avalanche crushes us all!
BAN VIACOM!
BAN DARKO!!
BAN RAND!!!
AND BAN TUCKER MAX, THE ULTIMATE AVATAR OF DOUCHEBAGGERY EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!
^^^^^God, way to ruin a FUN blog^^^
We wanna hear about the funny stuff like, Bunny's non-exsistent book. The degree of Silly Little freaks stinkiness. (Serious can anyone confirm that he stinks for real?) Corman pimping his sister to the RMMB. Tuckers real age ect...
Of course if anyone has an idea of tuckers "Revolutionary" advertising campaign please post it. Right now it seems his plan is to have all kinds of people write reviews of how big of a douchebag he is.
HELLO tucker 2003 is is calling and they want thier number one ASSHAT back!
Jon Tando is gay, and also, he hasn't posted on the Rudius Gay-Arse Media messageboard in several days, and also, he's stupid and gay, and he has sex with family members, and is stupid.
Seriously though, he hasn't posted in a while. Y'all must've hurted his wittle feewings.
Why can't we just focus on the greatness that is Tucker Max?
He made a movie about himself and it's awesome. Plus it's never been done before.
He was offered 8 figures $$$$ for his script. He said so himself and the guy is only about honesty so I believe it. That means that a studio was willing to pay at least $10,000,000- and he turned them down. True story.
He'll be going back home this weekend to LA. I wonder if he will beat the Bunny because of all the pressure he's under right now. At least his secret PR campaign is going exactly as planned. We're like sheep and he's the master herder. Anyone who discovers him from sites like gawker will instantly become a Tucker fan because of Tucker's sheer awesomeness.
He also didn't look foolish at all in that photo of him wearing a skirt and flip flops while he tells Bob how to direct the movie. Not foolish at all.
Face it. We're getting killed while Tucker and his circle of charismatic, intelligent and instantly likeable superstars ride into the sunset of coolness.
Oh yeah, next year when he's bald as Homer Simpson, Tucker will brag about those 'fools with hair that are slaves to the shampoo companies!' 'you people make me laugh with you hair and all.'
Hey, do you guys remember when Tucker said he would have regular sunday updates? That lasted all of 2 weeks.
Hey, do you guys remember when Tucker made part of his stories accessible only to paying subscribers, and he said that he would eventually make them public? That never happened.
Hey, do you guys remember all those "coming soon" stories that Tucker has mentioned in passing? When will it finally be "soon"?
Tucker has a habit of building himself up with elaborate plans, and then never following through with them because he gets distracted by something else. That's success if I've ever seen it!
for what it is worth, i have fucked thetrixie several times in the past two years, always bareback avenger style. and anal.
ask me anything and I'll tell you. she told me all about erin and tucker .
dude, just tell us everything then. it's like celebrity gossip, except that the celebrity is an F-list "internet celebrity." But it's still fun.
Remember when Tucker was touting The Alphabet of Manliness, telling everybody it was one of the greatest books ever written, and how it was going to outsell Anne Coulter's latest diatribe?
I really wanted to like Maddox's book, but in all honesty, it was very disappointing. Although I never really held it against Maddox, he wasn't on-line hard selling the book to his fans.
Tucker was doing that. I lost a lot of respect for him that day and began taking everything he would say with the thought that he overstates everything if he likes it.
Sort of like his script, the one I also read and was massively disappointed in.
Lol, I just took a look at KFM's ginsanity crap. It's funny how he makes himself out to be this tortured hero who runs around beating the crap out of people. I guess he forgot to mention the time that Cloud took him to the ground and humped his head, screaming "You're my bitch, Mike, you're my bitch!"
^^^ Dude, you're dead wrong. Kungfu Mike is a deep, tortured artist, who has endured struggles in life like nobody else.
You know, because nobody's father EVER dies.
Hey dude that fucked trixie up the pooper, I had some questions:
Does she ever call it "butt sex"?
Does she giggle after she says "butt sex"?
Do you ever secretly film it while you wreck her ass?
Does she ever shit on your dick then vomit uncontrollably?
Is bunny a pre or post-op tranny?
Does she get paid for her blog?
To Dude humpin' theTrixie:
I just wanted to salute your bravery. I don't think i'd fuck anything that's been near tucker without wearing a wetsuit.
Where's hippyville?
Can we please get back on focus here? Who the fuck cares about Bunny or her stupid, vapid, sister? We want dirt on Tucker, and proof of his lies.
ROFL
No posts on TheBunnyBlog in 3 weeks.
No posts by Sillylittlefaggot in 4 days (which is AMAZING)
IHTSBIH messageboard has started moving so slow as well, ever since the day last week when board members called out and all the mods decided that they are perfectly entitled to control the tone of threads.
Btw, as for the person that said we should try and get a boycott for the movie, that would be really dumb. Boycotted movies get alot of "good" bad publicity.
I mean:
"Bad" bad publicity - Gawker says the script sucks, people complain that the producer is a douchebag
"Good" bad publicity - Christian mothers groups slam the film for being immoral, The Pope tries to get it banned
One situation of bad publicity means that no-one will care for the movie, the other will stoke interest in it.
Ideally we'd just want to spread the word that it's a crap film.
@7:18 PM
I want to hear more from Viacom/RAND/Douchebaggery Conspiracy guy again. If Jim Morrison were still alive today, that's what he'd be saying. "The West is the Best. Ride the manure spreader." You know, MKULTRA Jim.
Normally I'd post this at RMMB, but the sound of crickets over there gives me the willies.
Did the remaining RMMBers finally go to FreakSafari?
i love how it seems viacom is sending people here to write the rand conspiracy crap.
somebody said it earlier.
it isn't a conspiracy.
it's a reality.
the federal reserve funds decadent media companies so as to destroy motherhood and fatherhood and the family and bails out huge banks like fannae mae and freddie mac.
tucker is a natural immoral tyrant--a dictator and thug--a soulless provacateur. the comedy comes from his unintentional aspects--his unmanliness, small hands, narrow shoulders and wide hips and enlarged head relative to his shoulders, like a woman--especially in that one picture of him wearing the skirt/shorts. further comedy comes from his gulag of kungfu mikes and silly little freaks and fatasses like nils who fight his fights for him, creeping up behind their victims, and choking them, as that video tape showed. further comedy comes from his hyping f-list actors who are playing him who look like the kid from home alone.
but ultimately, viacom is funding this as part of their master plan to destroy morality and expand their power by killing the family, manhood, and womanhood--by killing the soul.
Out of the millions of manuscripts they recieve, tucker max is the chosen one, as he best represents their anti-judeo christian values and hatred of the common man's wife that duke embraced by paying tucker thousands to speak there about girls throwing up condoms. never forget that viacom almost backed him with comdey central and did back him with mtv.
http://www.greaterthings.com/Constitution/Associates/10Marx_planks.htm
DESTROY THE FAMILY AND YOU DESTROY SOCIETY…VLADIMER LENNIN.
http://www.themoneymasters.com/quotations.htm
now tucker and nils are two of our nations' top lawyers/legal scholars. they are our most successful lawyers, with brilliant minds, and they have masterd therobert greens laws of power, and thus detest everything jefferson, madison, hamilton, and lincoln stood for. they destet god, faith, justice, morality, honor, and integrity.
and that is why major corporations and bankers have chosen nils and tucker as america's top lawyers--to further transfer our homes, families, and private property to the fiat banks and fiat bankers, who print the money they loan out via lawyers who graduated with tucker and nils, and who grow the corporate state while killing morality and the family.
http://www.themoneymasters.com/quotations.htm
and now it's time for the viacom fanboys to stick up for viacom, the ever-burgeoning corporate state, the decline of civilization, and the expansion of the federal reserve's power, as for the first time they are bailing out corporations. tucker is a pawn in their game--their master plan.
they have replaced jefferson and jackson and madison and lincoln with tucker and nils, and this is why:
If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks...will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered.... The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.
... The modern theory of the perpetuation of debt has drenched the earth with blood, and crushed its inhabitants under burdens ever accumulating. -Thomas Jefferson
History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and its issuance. -James Madison
If congress has the right under the Constitution to issue paper money, it was given them to use themselves, not to be delegated to individuals or corporations. -Andrew Jackson
The Government should create, issue, and circulate all the currency and credits needed to satisfy the spending power of the Government and the buying power of consumers. By the adoption of these principles, the taxpayers will be saved immense sums of interest. Money will cease to be master and become the servant of humanity. -Abraham Lincoln
Issue of currency should be lodged with the government and be protected from domination by Wall Street. We are opposed to...provisions [which] would place our currency and credit system in private hands. - Theodore Roosevelt
Despite these warnings, Woodrow Wilson signed the 1913 Federal Reserve Act. A few years later he wrote: I am a most unhappy man. I have unwittingly ruined my country. A great industrial nation is controlled by its system of credit. Our system of credit is concentrated. The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men. We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated Governments in the civilized world no longer a Government by free opinion, no longer a Government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a Government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men. -Woodrow Wilson
http://www.themoneymasters.com/quotations.htm
http://www.savethemales.ca/180302.html
"Gloria Steinem: How the CIA Used Feminism to Destabilize Society
By Henry Makow Ph.D.
March 18, 2002
"In the 1960's, the elite media invented second-wave feminism as part of the elite agenda to dismantle civilization and create a New World Order."
Since writing these words last week, I have discovered that before she became a feminist leader, Gloria Steinem worked for the CIA spying on Marxist students in Europe and disrupting their meetings. She became a media darling due to her CIA connections. MS Magazine, which she edited for many years was indirectly funded by the CIA.
Steinem has tried to suppress this information, unearthed in the 1970's by a radical feminist group called "Red Stockings." In 1979, Steinem and her powerful CIA-connected friends, Katharine Graham of the Washington Post and Ford Foundation President Franklin Thomas prevented Random House from publishing it in "Feminist Revolution." Nevertheless the story appeared in the "Village Voice" on May 21, 1979."
--http://www.savethemales.ca/180302.html
it's all making sense now...
you know how in the movie braveheart, the king declares "primae noctae" on all the scotish women, and sends his nobles forth to sleep with them before their husbands can? well, in their mad grab for power, that is what viacom/duke law are doing--sending tcueker, kungfu mike, and silly little freak to sleep with your wives before you do.
seriously, would you marry a chick who selpt with tucker?
hello no. and so it is that viacom is destorying the family, as the ten million women tucker has slept with, who embraced his narrow shoulders and wide hips and larger, goofy head, are unmarriageable.
they sent nils forth to sleep with women too, but i think he got engaged so he could sit home with the hagen daz and ben and jerry's.
@8:22 AM
Thanks, that was like a breath of fresh air. Except for the Henry Makow stuff, he's actually part of the Rothschild-Lazard-Loeb-Chase-Warburgs dictate operating through the Eight Families of Canada. Own both sides of the argument, and you always win, so to speak. Oh, and remove Hamilton from the Honor Roll of Jackson, Madison and Jefferson. Hamilton also worked for the cartel.
The greatest irony, is that Tucker has zero understanding of the very systems he studied in school.
http://www.libertyforum.org/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=news_business&Number=293860642&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=365&part=
http://www.barefootsworld.net/
Stay thirsty my friends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRaTekm9Ak8
that is the funny thing.
tucker has no idea of his greater role and who he's really working for.
but they don't teach the systems at U of C and Duke Law.
the aging, ignorant boomers teach by fiat. fiat money, fiat feminism, and fiat douchebaggery. more = better. more debt = better. more douche = better. more fiat currency = beter.
tucker is certainly the star student of his class--who else has received as much money from vast corproations such as viacom? while most duke lawyers work behind the scenes to dismantle civilization and transfer property to the fiat masters via divorce, subprime lending, debauchery, and copyright communism, tucker has taken the battle to the front lines and he has been rewarded for his valor in douchebaggery. without viacom, how else would a big-headded, small-shouldered, large-hipped, balding man with a lisp reach such great heights?
we put hamilton in there just to see who was paying attention. good to see we're not alone here.
Y'know, I am not about to argue against the claim that the Fed is a bad idea and overall negative for the country, but is this really the place for it? And what's the obsession with Viacom? I come here to see what stupid thing Tucker Max has been doing, not Viacom. Corporations can't force a person to be a stupid jerk.
Incidentally
http://roissy.wordpress.com/
A commenter on one of the posts even referred to "tucker-maxish exploits". "Roissy" somehow seems to be less overtly stupid than Tucker. Or maybe I have too much faith in humanity.
good to see everyone finally seeing this for what it is.
the fiat bankers profit via war, and tucker represenst the ultimate war on morality and the soul, on fiath and the family, and so he is given the highest honors and paid off with $300,000 fiat dollars from viacom and $6,000,000 fiat dollars from darko.
the only problem is, the fiat bankers are realzing that they are overplaying their hand.
tucker misprepresented himself so well, that the viacom and darko brass thought that the was "the one" who would take douchebaggery to new heights.
they thought this six-foot-tall, muscular, manly icon could finally make douchebaggery the rule.
but it turned out he goes though flabby, pasty periods, like a woman, and too, he has wide hips, narrow shoulders, tiny hands, and a lisp.
and instead of being the fiat banker's next great thing, he turned into their "tell."
they "tipped" their hand as to their debauchery and degradation and soullessness and debauchery and soullessness and degradation.
and now the world is seeing viacom and darko for what they are, as they make plans to put tucker's picture on all future fiat currencies, photoshopping and enlarging his shoulders, while shrinking his bloated frankenstein head.
tucker hates the unborn and advocates abortion
viacom hates the unborn and advocates abortion
fiat bankers profit from war, and as tucker picks on the weakest and chokes them from behind, as was done in that video, he is their hero. the unborn are the weakest, and thus 50,000,000 have been murdered by the fiat bankers as they took women outy of the homes and placed them in their corproations to serve mammon and tucker instead of god.
looks like czurchsky's career is over, as the people are rising against viacom's tyranny of fiat douchebaggery and fiat abortion.
Hey Crazy Viacom Guy,
You are singlehandedly ruining this blog.
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE YOUR CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
No one's catching on to anything, and everyone can tell your responding to yourself. Your energy is entirely wasted here.
Again:
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE YOUR CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Thank you.
Where the hell is Interview # 7? Come on already, that is best thing that has Tuckers name in it!
Waiting.........
this is obviously from high up in the viacom tower, where they must protect the federal reserve and tucker max--the future of media which will guarantee the destruction of the family, motherhood, morality, fatherhood, and the unborn:
"Hey Crazy Viacom Guy,
You are singlehandedly ruining this blog.
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE YOUR CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
No one's catching on to anything, and everyone can tell your responding to yourself. Your energy is entirely wasted here.
Again:
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE YOUR CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Thank you.
"
printing fiat money and seizing property is great work, if you can get.
killing the family and growing the corporate state is a lot of fun.
note how the federal reserve bails out fannae mae and freddie mac and bear stearns, but it never sticks up for the unborn and the common man.
is it any wonder viacom is trying to make tucker the king of kings and lord of lords?
Any word on when interview number seven is comming?
Well say what you want about Tucker being a douchebag, because he is...but that post actually was legitimately good.
I agree, 10:48. That may be the best thing that Tucker has ever written in his miserable, pathetic excuse of a life.
But he's still an epic doucebag.
The post may have been decent, but in typical fashion, Tucker went out stealing material from others. His paragraph on the failure being his alone but success the result of the efforts of a lot of people is just a longer way of repeating the famous dictum that "success has many fathers, while failure is an orphan."
Besides, humble, trite and considerate Tucker will last all of two days. He'll be back to the asshole and we all love (to hate) soon enough.
Don't get me wrong, he is still an idiot, and untalented...but the post came off as genuine, and it was probably the most professional thing he's done so far.
It's a very cliched post.
Wonder what happened with Bob?
And Tucker, I'd like to thank YOU! You've given me so much entertainment while you blathered on and on (and on) about how wonderful and creative you are, never seeing the black hole you've created for what it is. You can't buy that kind of entertainment.
Bunny, he recognized you. Little old YOU!. Get your head out of the oven for a little while longer.
@10:17 AM
Hey Crazy Viacom Guy,
You are singlehandedly ruining this blog.
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE YOUR CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Now, now. Censorship and brow beating is the domain of Lewdius Media. There's enough room here for everyone. I don't scream at McDonald's employees for having salads on the menu, even though I don't like salads. Say your bit.... read or ignore others. Give others the same freedom.
Oh, and what did the platypus say to the bartender when he got his drink?
"Put it on my bill."
Hey Marine, we're waiting for you to post a broader conspiracy, linking Viacom to the JFK assassination, and your inability to sustain an erection due to Viacom fluoridating your water supply.
Tucker wasn't a "bad boy" on the set, he was a total fucking douchebag. This isn't him "wrapping his first film", it's the wrapping of his entire film career.
The stories Sean McKittrick was telling his people in LA quickly became common knowledge. This is Tucker's one movie, there won't be others. Nobody is going to want to work with him again. The guy who said he was telling Darko "I told you so" is part of a lot of people. Tucker can lie to his message board, but other than Darko and maybe another couple smaller straight-to-DVD production houses, everybody passed on this movie.
You've heard it here, Tucker lied about the amount of people who were willing to finance his film.
Back to Tucker...
Does anyone else sense that there's a valedictory element to this post? I get the feeling Tucker now knows the movie will most likely fail. He has lost control of his movie, script, message board, and life. He's marshalling the dead-enders (Bunny & RMMB crowd) to continue.
RAND owns viacom.
RAND owns tucker max.
can we have an update for interview number 7?
Viacom marine, nobody gives a shit, except for those voices in your head. I realize you suffered traumatic brain injury in Iraq, but think this through: If Viacom gave as much a shit about Tucker as you, they (not Darko) would have financed the film, and not for a paltry $6 million or so.
I want to hear more about the stories circulating through Hollywood.
When Tucker's silly movie is modestly successful, a la Road Trip, American Pie, etc. etc., and he becomes another in the long roster of 'artists' in Hollywood who produce the kind of vapid, hedonistic nonsense that has replaced real art in modern western culture, a lot of you will be proven wrong.
He won't just 'crash and burn', he'll become a typical Hollywood personality. That's not so bad - Hollywood is mostly where true substance goes to die, so Tucker's definitely in the right place.
He won't become the social antichrist that spearheads of secret society's master-plan for world domination.
He's just a self-important man-child who is taking the path of least resistance to moderate fame and wealth, which he equates with accomplishment and greatness. The world is filled with these people; he'll come and he'll go, like so many before him.
Relax!
"When Tucker's silly movie is modestly successful, a la Road Trip, American Pie, etc. etc.,"
I'm assuming you haven't read his script. It's very bad, extremely bad in fact.
boy, the viacom fanboys are out in force today.
what--do you guys watch this forum 24/7? are viacom/tucker max untouchable now that they have been anointed?
i agree with the dude above--there is no conspiracy, but let's face it. viacom has a vested interest in growing the corporate state, destroying the family, putting women in the workplace, and killing the unborn and morality, so as to destroy the family and enlarge daycare and the divorce industry, where duke lawyers profit. why do you think they support tucker's douchebaggery? can we at least agree on their monetary incentive?
i've never seen so many well-funded, pro-abortion corporate-state sycophants slaving away for the federal reserve's destruction of morality, the family, truth, honor, and the soul.
haha.
it's true.
why do criticisms of viacom's raging douchebgaggery always receive such emotional response?
check out the other boards discus
I read a copy last week of the script. Only read a few scripts in my life. Was it really THAT bad?
I laughed a few times. Wasn't blown out of the water either. Reason I ask is because if you call something that is publicly declared decent by many Hollywood readers/agents a pile of crap just because you don't like the guy who wrote it, isn't that like being Tucker and ignoring reality and truth for your own benefit?
^^^ Yeah, I read it. I'M assuming YOU haven't taken note of what movies, records, books, and television shows achieve success in our ignorant, hedonistic world. Is it really so hard for you to entertain the notion that something so completely devoid of substance and redemptive value would find an audience?
You give the moviegoing public far too much credit.
The comment at 2:38PM was intended to be a response to the comment at 2:30PM, by the way.
The script did stink. Tucker and Nils just aren't funny, which tends to be a problem when you write a comedy. Unless Matt C. has the talent and instincts of a stand-up comic, this movie will absolutely fail.
haha--more viacom fanboys trained at duke law, trying to shore up corproate profits for soulless debauchery:
"I read a copy last week of the script. Only read a few scripts in my life. Was it really THAT bad?
I laughed a few times. Wasn't blown out of the water either. Reason I ask is because if you call something that is publicly declared decent by many Hollywood readers/agents a pile of crap just because you don't like the guy who wrote it, isn't that like being Tucker and ignoring reality and truth for your own benefit?"
how much are they paying you in those fiat dollars? better spend 'em quick! before they print more! hahaha.
The script is bad. It's badly written, it's not very funny, there are no surprises.
It's like taking a bunch of Tucker's story's that you've already read, but getting to see them acted out in a vessel that doesn't add up to anything in regards to story and plot. The stuff that I've found funny from reading his site a few years ago has long since gone stale, so like I said, no surprises.
In between the book to screen stories, you are left with a badly plotted, badly written and badly thought out screenplay. This is about 70% of the entire film and not only is it not funny, but it negates any humor in between.
You were promised the "revolution", and what you got was a bad film based upon an even worse script. On top of that, it most likely won't be distributed due to the mismanagement of Tucker's career by Tucker. Somebody said it earlier, but do you really think that Hollywood is going to now distribute his movie after he's been badmouthing them for so long?
This film could be Pulp Fiction and it still won't be distributed.
Jesus, the viacom guy is spending waaaay too much time thinking about this blog.
The Viacom guy is from the RMMB.
As someone close to the people involved in production I can tell you this: They have a full court press planned to get this movie into the public’s psyche.
There is a physical playbook that Tucker actually carries around with him. Some of the strategies planned include:
1) Pre-Spring Break College Assault. They are planning a massive attack on strategic campuses across the USA. Beer filled screenings with strippers, etc. In Tucker’s words “If kids aren’t quoting my words on the beaches during spring break I will eat a bag of smashed assholes.”
2) Religious Right. We have already mapped out churches and other institutions that surely will not like the title or message of this film. Theaters are being booked in those cities and protesters WILL BE PAID to protest the film. It will be the lead story on every newscast and breaking news site like Drudge and others.
3) Major Social-Networking site will brand their site for one weekend. And have all sorts of multimedia and social apps available to create viral buzz.
4) Major Product Placement: Stone Management of Los Angeles has been retained to provide these services. When people find out what products we have integrated they will be blown away.
That’s just a taste. The film wraps in a few days. But that’s just the end of the beginning.
Holy shit, Viacom/RAND guy - I know what you're trying to go for, but seriously you're not amusing anymore.
Ahem.
The new post is interesting, certainly a more humble Tucker than we've seen before. The thing is, I doubt he's been humbled by the film-making and more by the need to appear "humbled" following the whole Gawker/chokehold/badscript/on-set-douchebag incidents that have been reported.
There's still a long time to go before the film is even going to be finished editing, and then there's distribution to worry about.
Questions -
[1] Does anyone care to speculate on what will happen with distribution? Where does it go from here? Would Darko already have a distributor lined up or what?
[2] What could Tucker be planning to announce tomorrow?
- a teaser scene? unlikely..
- release date for Assholes Finish First?
- a crafty explanation as to how Gawker feel hook-line-and-sinker for his bad publicity trick?
- something underwhelming???
why so serious when someone questions viacom?
[1] Does anyone care to speculate on what will happen with distribution? Where does it go from here? Would Darko already have a distributor lined up or what?
A --> The Deal for distribution is done apparently they will be using:
Distribution Companies:
The Collective
Credit: Domestic Distribution Rights
See the rest here: http://www.hollywood.com/movie/I_Hope_They_Serve_Beer_in_Hell/5248526
do not be fooled by tucker's latent, faux humility.
he built his entire empire off douchebaggery, not humility.
humility is but a marketing ploy.
funny how so many people here defend viacom . . . hmmmmm
Collective Films is acting as the sales agent, not the distributor. Collective films has only distributed one film so far (from 2 years ago):
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0963187/
They don't distribute films, but set up potential buyers by organizing meetings with potential distributors. That's really all they do.
Any sales agent will tell you that the first and sometimes only question you get asked is:
Potential Buyer: "Who is starring in this movie?"
They don't care who Tucker Max is, or whether or not he's a best selling offer, or even if the movie is any good. It's simply one question. Here's how I see those phone calls going down:
Potential Buyer: Matt Whocry?
They will not get major distribution, so they should get used to hearing that line over and over.
this collective?
The Collective is a group of filmmakers, photographers, and mountain bikers. The Collective will create films that portrays the newest, cutting edge images of the Freeride progression, while exploring the thoughts and personalities of the riders leading that progression.
If that the distributor, straight to DVD would be an improvement.
This is the Collective:
http://www.imdb.com/company/co0029103
"[1] Does anyone care to speculate on what will happen with distribution? Where does it go from here? Would Darko already have a distributor lined up or what?"
I can only speculate, but as of right now they have a very minor league company as their sales agent.
"[2] What could Tucker be planning to announce tomorrow?
- a teaser scene? unlikely..
- release date for Assholes Finish First?
- a crafty explanation as to how Gawker feel hook-line-and-sinker for his bad publicity trick?
- something underwhelming???"
Probably a little bit of everything, but who cares what he says anymore? Sure he might have gotten even with Gawker or whatever but it won't make his script any better.
"Beer filled screenings? Where? What theaters allow alcohol to be served? None.
Strippers? These things cost money, I'm doubting that they have this kind of money available to procure the services of multiple strippers to come to a bunch of "strategic campuses". What distribution company is going to allocate funds to something like this? "
Wrong on all counts. Do us all a favor and don't assume anything.
We are targeting colleges with a legal age drinking student body. The screenings will be private events where alcohol can and will be served. We are not flying in strippers, we are pulling from local sources.
You people are so dumb my brain hurts.
"Wrong on all counts. Do us all a favor and don't assume anything.
We are targeting colleges with a legal age drinking student body. The screenings will be private events where alcohol can and will be served. We are not flying in strippers, we are pulling from local sources.
You people are so dumb my brain hurts."
Hey Tucker!!!
Are we going to be seeing more of you in here now?
You are going to rent out a venue and show a movie and serve beer and hire strippers, and you're going to charge more money for the movie along with the beer, and hope you will make 6 million dollars back?
Okay.
Tucker, did you hear that sound coming from the West Coast? That was the sound of me laughing at you.
Do you realize the overhead? The insurance alone... Hahahahahahaha. Beer costs, the fact that it takes weeks or months to pull these things together ahead of time and the staff you'll need to hire to pull it off... Hahahahahahahaha.
One bad review from one campus, one student saying you they didn't get served beer because of blah blah blah. It won't matter, people won't come.
You do realize that more than half your fans are not old enough to drink, and even then most of them don't go to college?
It's sort of like Joe Francis, except instead of chicks flashing their tits, you're going to get them so drunk they won't mind a shitty film.
Hahahahahahahaha. So you're saying your script was horrible and you need to get the audience shitfaced in order to watch that piece of shit?
That's your revolution?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
@5:06: Hey Tucker/SLF/Ryan/Corman - Don't come over here and spout off your standard "don't assume" bullshit.
I "assume" Tucker is a liar and his stories are 99% bullshit. Until he produces a police report for the Absinthe Donuts story or a video tape from the infamous buthfect story, my "assumption" is spot on.
I "assume" SLF is a stinky, unemployed 37-year old loser who lives with his parents and pretends he's hot shit on the internet by banning people on a dying messageboard. Until he can prove he isn't a giant fucking nothing, my "assumption" is accurate.
I "assume" Tucker's movie is going to be a gigantic failure and a total embarrassment to everyone involved that will negatively impact the careers of the lead actors and leave Tucker spinning tales of blame to explain why his vision wasn't the "revolution" that he promised. Until you all can score a distribution deal and actually get this movie in theaters and make this one of the most groundbreaking comedies of the last 10 years (as Tucker claims), my "assumption" is dead fucking solid.
And, finally, I "assume" that your "revolutionary" marketing plan is nothing but a bunch of tired, hackneyed bullshit attempts to trick a few mouth-breathers into buying your direct-to-DVD flop of a movie. And based on everything I've seen so far (interviews on Gilmore Girl fan sites? Interviews on personal branding blogs that no one reads? Serving beer at a screening? Paying fake protestors?) my "assumption" is a god damned fact!
Go back to your messageboard and get your e-cock sucked by your sycophants and minions. No one over here gives a shit what you think about what happens when we "assume."
You know who also did this? The "targetted colleges" thing?
Troy Fucking Duffy, that's who.
Seriously, Duffy would schedule Boondock Saints to be shown at colleges, then would provide a party to go to afterwards where the students would get to meet Troy Duffy and Dave Della Rocca while drinking with them.
I think Tucker is a real asshole. His book was sort of funny. When he said he was making a movie I was shocked. It seems like he had a vision and went after it. Can't blame a guy for trying right? If the film is anything like the book then I will love to see it. Tucker speaks the truth and that's what matters for better or worse. And since tomorrow is my birthday it looks like I'm getting Tucker Max drunk. God bless us all.
@5:50: Really? "Tucker Max Drunk?" Good for you. If I ever met someone who used that term in real life I'd know I was in the presence of a world-class douchebag. Just like you.
Happy Birthday!
Is Tucker Max drunk where you drink so much you totally black out, yet somehow remember everything perfectly, enough so to claim that you "never lie" and your story is "100% true".
Tucke Max Drunk is when you get so drunk that you almost forget the account number to your trustfund account. Almost.
"Tucker Max drunk"? Who uses a fucking clueless expression like that, high school juniors? Anyone dumb enough to say, "I'm going to get Tucker Max drunk" to his friends, is probably dorky enough to say "LOL" in public.
By the way Tucker, you're a far bigger dumbshit than I imagined. You're opening a movie, Otto, not traveling to some frat house for a book signing. Think about the logistics and manpower to ferret out and transact with the strippers. Put that oversized head to use, and think about your assumption as to how many theaters will serve alcohol, constrained by the distance those theaters are from a major college campus.
And that's just scratching the surface, Otto. First you have to find someone willing to distribute this film. I suggest you get them Tucker Max drunk first, and then try butt-thex. With your sagging man-tits, how can they refuse you Otto?
Shut the fuck up, you morons! The campus showings will be a hit. And to the fuckhead yammering about the "dying" forum: Did I ban you? Guess you deserved it, then.
Um... you all DO know that most college campuses HAVE movie theaters, right? The marketing people don't need to 'find' theaters that will allow beer, because the movie theaters on campus have no such restrictions.
...just sayin'...
"Um... you all DO know that most college campuses HAVE movie theaters, right? The marketing people don't need to 'find' theaters that will allow beer, because the movie theaters on campus have no such restrictions."
Sure, but consider this:
Those theaters don't have insurance that covers alcohol being served.
They don't have lisenses.
They have to get the permission from the University, who might not be too quick to jump aboard this idea. These places don't just say "place for rent" and just allow a beer party to be thrown. That just doesn't happen.
He's going to have to hire a whole team of people to go college to college and set this whole thing up. Things like these do not just come together.
Also, most colleges have DRY CAMPUSES, meaning alcohol is not allowed on the physical property of the campus. If he has to bus people to a 2nd venue, then he's got a whole new headache to get around: renting enough busses, etc.
Troy Duffy tried this, and it failed miserably, and he had a much better project.
@7:21: The dying messageboard is a fact. The number of users on any given moment is significantly less than a year ago. The number of entertaining posts are dwindling. And there is nary an original thought or legitimate debate to be found on the site because you and your fellow mods delete anything that makes Tucker or his bros look bad. Opie & Anthony incident? DELETED! Cloud Starchaser/KFM fight thread? DELETED. Any post that attempts to slap Tucker's e-cock out of a mods mouth? DELETED!
Go back over to the board. Go to your secret mod board and whine about how dumb everyone is because they don't "get" Tucker. And then come back over here and wring your hands all night because it's just KILLING you that you can't edit and delete the posts over here that you don't like.
Hey dude that fucked trixie up the pooper, I had some questions:
Does she ever call it "butt sex"?
Does she giggle after she says "butt sex"?
Do you ever secretly film it while you wreck her ass?
Does she ever shit on your dick then vomit uncontrollably?
Is bunny a pre or post-op tranny?
Does she get paid for her blog?
1. no. she just said to put it in her ass. she was drunk.
2. no.
3. i might have a few camera phone pics of her but it's only of her sucking my cock.
4. no poop on my cock, i don't think. although w/lube and all that comes with anal, i'm sure there might have been some. i think she puked in the morning but only b/c we were both pretty hammered that night.
5. bunny is cool, she's just a beaten person. i could tell by the way tucks would treat/talk to her and she would just comply with it.
6. no, she doesn't get paid. i mean c'mon, her blog sucks. she's just a typical semi-cute northside girl that claims that she 'never does anything like this' and wants labels and to seem higher class than she really is. it was easy pussy(and ass) and another notch on my bedpost, that's all. i'd hit it again.
btw, marpie, call me!
Tucker implies he's deceitful:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=700967&postcount=8
i love how tucker freely admits, nay brags about having mods post fake reviews like it's cool. this is the problem with having nobody in your orbit who will give you honest feedback, just a bunch of dumbshit ass-kissers.
and that's really tucker's whole problem; honest feedback is just praise, telling him how great he is, how all his "work" is genius etc. if you disagree, you clearly don't get it. duh.
HA Ha HA. Tucker a guy in his 30's is going to market his movie, "His Art", "His revolotion" to college students? Sometimes the comedy just writes it self. College students don't have any money to waste on t-shirts and posters and plastic beer glasses.
This is a guy in his mid-30's that made a movie with both the words "beer" and "hell" in the tittle. I'm sure George Lucas REALLY wanted to call his movie "Star Beers" or maybe "Hell wars"
Whoever said the majority of his fans are High School kids was right. This whole thing is going straight to DVD.
OH and does Silly little freak really smell? Like if your standing near him can you smell the retched stank coming off him?
The best thing this silly little blog has done is expose that douchebag for being the basement dwelling, nothing, stinky, hippy, loser, that his 37 year old ass is.
SLF- "MOM! is my beenie weenie and manwhich ready yet? I'll be up in a second I just have to ban some guy who's on to Tucker Lies and I'll be right there....can I have sheese puff and pepsi later...better make it Mountain dew lots of people are attacking my man crush Tucker so I'll be up to 5 am.
Holy shit, what the fuck is going on here? First of all, we do not criticize people for using the term "Tucker Max drunk" as long as its use is within the bounds of irony. Secondly, the most Tucker would be capable of is setting up projectors in frat houses to show his movie. Frats would go for it, especially if Tucker hires strippers. Fuck.
5:06 PM is clearly Tucker. So funny it hurts.
Frats would go for it, especially if Tucker hires strippers. Fuck.
Not a chance in hell they'd go for it. After Tucker sponged off of their infrastructure for his book tour, he slapped them in the face during the "Logan" scene of his movie. I can tell you from experience, all the popular houses will shun Tucker. He screwed himself... oh, but that was part of his brilliant marketing plan, wasn't it?
@ 7:36
I'm 7:21. sorry, dude, I was just trying to impersonate SLF/Tucker, I'm actually on your side and completely agree how pathetic (most) mods over there are... It's true, there's hardly anything posted over there these days. Again, I apologize. But it was fun :)
the dude that fucked thetrixie on bunny,
"bunny is cool, she's just a beaten person. i could tell by the way tucks would treat/talk to her and she would just comply with it."
sounds like you actually met tucker, does he come off like a douchebag in person, is he anything like his stories make him out to be, do you think he is completely full of shit?
I thought you all might enjoy this tid bit from Otto:
Yeah, McKittrick explained the plot behind Rogues Gallery to me, and it sounds really fucking cool, and I know he liked the script a lot. Sean was going to direct that until they got our script, and he instead came and produced our movie and passed the directing of Rogues off to another guy.
I don't think IHTSBIH is anything like FBDO. Nothing at all. Nothing like American Pie either. It's the same thing as when people compare my writing to Hunter S Thompson or CHarles Bukowski--they are alike only in the most superficial aspects.
I'll write more about this later, but trust me people: This movie is going to surprise you in a lot of ways. Its not what most of you think it will be.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=23164&page=3
Can you really take this guy seriously? After reading that post I have no doubt that he can write comedy.
Link for rogues gallery: http://www.hollywood.com/movie/Rogues_Gallery/5282561
You can't be serious that McKittrick past on Rogues gallery to be on Otto's set, when Rogues gallery has established hollywood actors.
These are my favorite parts:
"This has been the hardest six weeks of my life, and I need a break." = Holy shit, I actually did something other than drink and make up stories. I'm fuckin' exhausted. I don't know how you 40 hours a week people do it day after day.
"She was my rock. Without her, I wouldn't be writing this, because I would have given up a long time ago." = y'know when you get so frustrated you want to scream, well, that's what she was there for, I screamed at her, it was a great way to relief tension and cheaper than a masseuse.
"Nils has been more important to this movie than I have" = The teamsters would have kicked my ass and buried me in a stadium if Nils hadn't shared his burritos.
"Aaron is one of the few people I've ever met who I will admit is smarter than me" = this guy didn't cave to my bullshit and still politely pointed out my flaws in a way to not wound my ego, I'd seriously suck his dick if I could.
"The two biggest cliches in Hollywood are the great script that never gets made, and the writer who gets screwed by the system." = Fortunately I didn't have a great script, so we avoided the first cliche'. Secondly, I'm not really a writer so have only screwed myself, not been screwed by the system.
"Bob had the impossible job of containing and dealing with Tucker Max on his first movie" = Darko signed a contract that stated Bob was allowed to kill me if I was involved in the editing process.
"For the rest of our lives, Matt Czuchry and I are going to be inextricably linked" = Matt buddy, your career is over dumbass.
"Geoff Stults is still better looking than me, richer than me, more successful than me, and still has a hotter girlfriend than me, but I found something else out about him on this movie: He's funnier than me too." = so he'd like most other people on the planet.
what is everyone at viacom thinking?
I called Viacom and asked them 'hey, what are you guys thinking about?'
They paused for like two minutes and then a guy said, 'do you know what bufthsects is?'
I told him that no one has a fucking clue what that word means and were also wondering as well.
Say what you want about Tucker. You can't deny that he is a genius. He has one of the most popular blog sites on the web. A number one selling book. And now a soon to be blockbuster movie. It seems everything he sets out to do comes to fruition, and not only wins but wins in a huge way.
Say what you want about Tucker. You can't deny that he is a douchebag. He has one of the most popular blog sites on the web, funded by viacom, the home of corporate douchebaggery. A number one selling book, in his own mind, in the category of douchebaggery, as viacom funds the postings of fake reviews and douchebag hype, as tucker is ultimately working for the federal reserve who print the money vaicom parcels out to douchebags and the destroyers of civility. And now a soon to be "blockbuster" movie which means that it will be in the bargain bin at blockbuster. It seems everything he sets out to do comes to fruition, and not only wins but wins in a huge way, as the federal reserve and viacom and duke support him fully in his corporate destruction of traditional forms of manly honor and integrity, preparing us for the tyrannical rise of viacom's money masters, whence all of humaity will be forced into anonimity by kungfu mike and silly little freak.
"Say what you want about Tucker."
Okay, I will.
"You can't deny that he is a genius."
Yes I can, he's not a genius. He's mildly intelligent and highly manipulative, but he's not a genius.
"He has one of the most popular blog sites on the web."
Actually it's not even in the top 5000 "blogs" on the web. His film site, the one where he spends the majority of time "blogging" isn't even in the top 100,000 sites on the web.
"A number one selling book."
What list are you gazing at?
"And now a soon to be blockbuster movie."
Sure, with a shitty script, no-name talent and remarkably bad press I'm sure it's going to start a revolution.
"It seems everything he sets out to do comes to fruition"
Yeah, I know, I just watched his television show on Comedy Central, it was fucking hilarious and revolutionary. Same thing with Bunny's book, groundbreaking.
"and not only wins but wins in a huge way."
Depends on your definition of "win". Like say for example I had a NYTimes Best Seller and was bragging about making 5 figures a month as a blogger, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't consider "victory" to be living in a rental space with roommates and driving a shittier car than I had in high school to be a "win". At least not "in a huge way".
"And now a soon to be "blockbuster" movie which means that it will be in the bargain bin at blockbuster."
Funniest. Line. Ever.
- I deny that he's a genius.
- He doesn't have "one of the most popular blog sites on the web." 90% of his traffic is to the message board. Translation: he has a niche message board. With declining popularity.
- His book is on the paperback nonfiction bestselling list. It's an accomplishment (usually reserved for self help, diet, and personal finance books).
- Tucker failed at being a lawyer, failed at army basic training, failed at working at his dad's restaurants, had a forgettable MTV appearance, forgettable (as in, he wants you to forget) radio appearances, and blew his Comedy Central TV show. Oh, and what happened to his monthly "celebrity" poker tournaments? I guess when you can retroactively edit your life, everything is a success.
where are all the viacom defenders today?
did they take off for the hamptoms?
are they hanging out with their douchebag/mba bros, coming up with ways to bail out fannie mae and and bear stearns and tucker max and freddie mac while screwing the honest worker, artist, saver, and writer?
Tucker's next movie will be about the trials of being Tucker Max while writing and making a movie about Tucker Max. The project is called "Buffthets and Me", it's partially kind of based upon stories that never really happened that way in the first place.
Unfortunately Matt Whocry will not be available to reprise his role of Tucker Max, as he can't afford to get off the schedule as a bartender at The White Horse Tavern (Tucker hooked his shit up, yo). However J. Jim Bullock has apparently won the coveted role since he understands how to say "buffthets" correctly.
The producers are trying to get Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz) to play Nils Parker, cuz like he's really fat.
The character of the Bunny will not be part of this movie in any shape or form.
Tucker is now calling out Gawker with a $10,000 bet.
"What really pisses me off about the collection of hipster doofus illumnati at Gawker is not that they don't like me--they don't like anything, why should I be different--it's that they think they know what they are talking about, when in fact, they are the most clueless ones out there. They think they are arbiters of taste, of culture, of cool, but in reality they are nothing more than armchair critics, sitting on the sidelines shitting on the efforts of those who try, while too afraid to do anything of their own. To me, that sort of hypocrisy is disgusting and unforgivable.
Is it legal for Tucker to accuse someone else of hypocrisy? I would think that should be another felony, to go along with the driver's license height thing.
Tucker's entire career was made of sitting on the sidelines and being a prick to others, and selling it to corporate america and the fiat masters who agreed to kmake him and kungfu mike the arbiter's of cool because they write about feces on penises better than anyone else. Tucker is far worse than gawker--he is far, far douchier, and that is the only reason viacom funds him ahead of all else: "They think they are arbiters of taste, of culture, of cool, but in reality they are nothing more than armchair critics, sitting on the sidelines shitting on the efforts of those who try, while too afraid to do anything of their own. To me, that sort of hypocrisy is disgusting and unforgivable.
"
Yeah, Tucker's whole schtick is that of mocking capitalizing on the perceived shortcomings of others. He truly believes that he has traded this immaturity for wisdom, but he doesn't seem to recognize that his popularity comes from being a jerk to others. Read between the lines: he's mad that someone (even if that 'someone' is a substance-free trash site like Gawker) would challenge the legitimacy of his 'work.' He doesn't understand that he is only successful because the state of western culture is such that emptiness and decadence are rewarded, to the detriment of real art.
It's a sad world in which we live.
HAHAHAHAHA, holy fuck Tucker is calling out Gawker! That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen! It's even worse than when Ryan Fucking Holiday got it on with that Violent Acres site. Didn't it say anywhere in the 40fuckingsomething laws of power that if you want to be perceived a certain way, you have to act the part? If Tucker wants people to think that he's a cool, professional movie writer and producer, he needs to ignore shit like Gawker. If he allows himself to be provoked into responding, he's just proving that he's at the same level as they are. Seriously, do successful people who attract a lot of criticism (say, Tom Cruise) give a shit? Do they even bother responding? Of course not.
Ugh..
the gawker call-out is so fucking lame. fanboys are already starting to go nuts over it
I would hack off my nuts with a rusty hacksaw if it would guarantee this movie fails. I'm not sure how that situation would develop - but goddammit I'd do it.
it's annoying as hell that the release date is so far away. "here bro, make this ridiculous bet with me - and in 8 months time we can see who wins"
i want to be proved right or wrong NOW
How long until Tucker calls this site out?
yes--never forget that tucker is a product of a fiat banking system, where old, aging men at viacom must protect their poer by killing romance, honor, and integrity. that is why they like tucker and fund him. with all their billion upon billions of fiat dollars, they are yet that desperate, because when it comes down to it, those fiat dollars are worth nothing, and thus they must destory the whole world and bring it down to their own level.
there--i think i deserve the nobel in economics, which i'll get long before tucker's douchetard movie gets distribution, as the value of them dollars is falling.
REALLY?!
That's Tucker's master plan to get Gawker?
A stupid "bet" that isn't even really a bet?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And posting it after 5 pm ET on a Friday before a three-day weekend?! This dipshit who claims to be a marketing genius obviously doesn't know shit about striking while the iron is hot or even how to get the most bang for your buck.
This is the best Team Tucker could come up with after stewing about this for three weeks?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This officially settles it. Tucker Max is a fucking joke.
And did he really link to an article in n+1 to prove his point that Gawker represents a bunch of snobby, pseudo-intellectuals?
n+1 is the fucking BIBLE for those types!
Tucker! Stop it! You are making a fucking ass of yourself!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Just posted this on the RMMB. I'm sure it will be deleted so I thought I'd throw it up here:
Also, I'm sure this will be deleted promptly, but while I'm here I thought I'd share an anecdote with Tucker and his merry mods.
I used to lurk and occasionally comment on this message board. I had never heard of Gawker until they started making fun of Eric Schaeffer. You guys talked about it here, so I clicked over to Gawker to see what all the fuss was about. I found that the conversations at Gawker were funny, intelligent, and interesting. And I never came back to the RMMB.
And yes, I know, I suck and didn't add anything of worth to this message board anyway, so of course you don't care and good riddance. No need to respond, I'm going back to Gawker now anyway.
i would like to bet tucker that no matter how many fiat dollars his movie makes, he is still a douchebag. and not a fiat douchebag, but a through and through douchebag.
[T]he economics of the film business have gone into the crapper. The causes are not dissimilar to what precipitated the U.S. housing meltdown: too much easy money luring too many wannabes into the market. Over the past four years, $18 billion (U.S.) has flooded into Hollywood from Wall Street investment funds. That, combined with growing government subsidies around the world, has resulted in a movie explosion. Last year, a record 5,000 films were made. Yet, as Mark Gill, CEO of independent Hollywood producer the Film Department, noted in a much-discussed speech at the Los Angeles Film Festival in June, there's only room in the marketplace for maybe 300. "That means everything else just dies," Gill said. "Most of these pictures are preordained flops from independent distributors who forgot that their odds would have been better if they'd converted their money into quarters and taken the all-night party bus to Vegas."
All the clutter means it's more expensive to get noticed: The cost of releasing a movie has soared by 60%, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. Meanwhile, Wall Street has closed its chequebook amid huge losses and a flailing economy. The result: Major players such as Picturehouse and Warner Independent have disappeared. New Line Cinema is down to 10% of its staff. "The film industry has been hit by the perfect storm," says Lantos. "The beaches of Malibu are littered with the carcasses" of naive, idealistic or opportunistic investors who didn't realize that their odds of making money are—as Gill helpfully calculated in his speech—0.1%.
http://www.reportonbusiness.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080825.rmentone/BNStory/specialROBmagazine/home/?pageRequested=4
Tucker just got served over on Gawker. That didn't take long. And I think they put it in terms even he could understand.
Once again, Tucker's feeble attempt at "marketing" explodes in his ugly face.
Fucking brilliance.
http://gawker.com/5043697/tucker-max-calls-out-gawker
Horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max has issued a challenge to Gawker. He bets ten grand that we will underestimate how much the film version of his silly book for teenagers who like to watch each other jerk off will earn at the box office. And accuses us of being elitists who presume to be arbiters of taste. Surely, we are elitist, in that none of us consider a ham-fisted frat shit like him who has never committed an honest emotion to paper in any effectual way to be, in fact, a writer. At least that is my stand. I think he is merely a frightened little wuss who has to treat people badly because he thinks his mommy stole his penis. But let's get into his challenge, and my—not Gawker's—response after the jump.
Here is this fool's accusation against Gawker as a whole (read the rest here):
As you may be aware, the media blog Gawker has, for the last three weeks, been posting about me and this movie. Gawker's schtick is to be hateful and snarky about everything other than themselves, so of course they are comically negative and attacking in their posts about me. For example:
They seem to think it's controversial that I'm an asshole, they don't like that I have hot girls in my movie, they apparently hate the FBI, they accuse me of plagiarizing myself, they think my stories are fake and in the SAME post say everyone has similar stories, they believe clearly made up emails (even when my REAL assistant writes to say it's fake), and they even criticize me for being professional to actresses and loving my dog. And of course, they think my movie sucks, even though their "source" on set tells them that it's good.
First, we haven't been arbitrarily hateful in quite some time, you fucking twerp. We are hateful against you because... Oh, wait. I am only writing for myself. Let me begin again.
I don't hate you, Tucker. I think you're a sad piece of nothing that floated along and got caught on some corner of the net when it was still impressed by college boy antics beyond giving them two minutes of Youtube time. I say your stories are fake at THE SAME TIME (wow, Tuck, caps are an effective rhetorical device!) as I say every frat boy tells those stories, because every frat boy's stories are mostly bullshit. Most frat boys only try to sell their crap to their friends, and not for money. Even Opie and Anthony called bullshit on you. How often do they call bullshit on anyone? You know most of your stories aren't true, and that's part of what makes you behave like a caged-in fucking maniac.
The other reason I would hate you if you were worth the passion: You soooo clearly fucking hate and fear women, brah! My God, can you write one word about them where you're not demeaning—literally—the shit out of them? It's not okay with most people that a guy who sells 400,000 copies of a bad book he mostly invented should fucking hate women, should keep telling story after story about how he tricked some girl with not enough self-esteem into a place of lesser self-esteem. Why don't you at least get creative about it?
Because you cannot. You haven't got the mind. You are, frankly, quite stupid and dark and a misery to contemplate. If you've had all the sex you claim to have had—though I don't think all the shitting and vomiting you describe actually describes any kind of actual sex—why not be philosophical about it? Why not be Henry Miller?
Why not? Because you, Tucker Max, are a thug, an unimaginative punk, and, at heart, a tiny little vapor.
As for your bet. Nick will deal with that.
As for me, before you bother googling me: I have written two novels and they did not sell much at all. If you think that's the measure of me as writer, James Frey has sold roughly five or six times more copies than you, not including his bad novel.
In the end. We hate you because you suck. Hating you is the least cynical thing any Gawker writer ever did.
Now die.
Ian Spiegelman, 8/29/2008
Tucker's argument is flawed at best.
Gawker said he was an untalented douchebag. They also said that his script was bad. Yes, THEY said that along with the millions of people who read their site, and the millions of people on the internet where it was also posted for mockery.
The film *may* be good. In my opinion, I don't see how, but it's possible. And if there is any possibility to it, it's because of who you surrounded yourself with, not because of you, Tucker. THAT'S what Gawker is saying. They never once said your movie will be bad. They said that your screenplay is bad, that you're a douche, and that you have less professionalism than a drunk getting fucked in a mall fountain.
I hope Gawker is smart enough to pick up on that. I realize you need all the PR you can get because you will have a hard time with a distribution deal, but not everybody is this stupid...and I hope Gawker is one of those people.
4:45 PM:
Actually, Tucker knows exactly what he's doing by posting it after 5 PM on a Friday. He is counting on Gawker's staff not being out and their not responding to it to "prove" to his fanboys how lame they are and back down "the second someone calls them on their shit." Tucker is actually being rather strategic here, at least as far as proving it to his fans. He gets no credit in the rest of the world, however, for basically challenging everyone in the room to a fight, when the room is empty. In other words, this is just more empty bluster from Tucker.
Incidentally, the hypocrisy and sheer amount of deceit in Tucker's post is mind-boggling. Wait, so Gawker is bad because they are snarky and make fun of everyone they perceive as not being as cool as them? And TUCKER IS THE ONE TO CALL THEM OUT ON THIS? Jeebus, that complete lack of self-awareness is truly awe-inducing.
And Tucker, no Drew Curtis did not tell Gawker that the movie was "good". He only said that the actors were "doing a great job with the material", the obvious implication being that the material (read: script) is subpar at best. But you keep on believing whatever you want Tucker. If the sky is red in your mind, then by God, the sky is really red and everyone else just "doesn't get it."
It's amazing how many of Tucker's fanboys had "never heard of Gawker" before they started ripping on him. Really? This is a site that gets about 4x Tucker's traffic and was featured on a 20-page thread on the RMMB a year ago when the ripped Eric Schaffer, and yet somehow, none of Tucker's mouth-breathing sycophants has ever heard of Gawker. AMAZING! How convenient. To any RMMBer here: just because you're a 16 year-old virgin who spends all his time in his mother's basement -- excuse me, your "Fortress of Solitude and Coolness" -- that doesn't mean that there isn't a wider world out there with the rest of us. And it's funny, Tucker's usual response to any challenge is to drop Alexa rankings, as if being more popular on the web proves his point, yet that little tactic is strangely absent from his Gawker rants. Why? Because he would kill any of you for their traffic.
He's a has been looking to make a splash because during the course of filming he realized he's finished in Hollywood and has no other options left.
I'm done.
I've been on TMMB since 2004 when he reopened the place. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Tucker calling out somebody for "making fun of people they consider to be inferior" showed me that he's completely full of shit. I don't care about his film, I don't care about his book, I don't care about Tucker Max.
What a fucking tool.
I like how Tucker announced "The time for worthless talk is over." What a fuckstick. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO TALK. Tucker needs to learn that people talking are beyond his control. You can't always put somebody in a chokehold just cause they posted stuff online.
So it looks like Gawker is in. I was kind of hoping they wouldn't take Tucker's lame bait, but then I realized that Gawker also owns the similarly successful Deadspin, Consumerist, Defamer, Lifehacker, ValleyWag, Gizmodo, and a few other way more read than Rudius blogs so the potential to spread Tucker's douchbagginess to several different audiences is great. The irony that Gawker media can use the Long Tale strategy against the Revolutionary Tucker "King of New Media" Max is almost of Greek proportions.
I love the response. From now on I am going to exclusively refer to Otto by the expression "horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max."
TheBunny is flipping her shit over Ian Spiegelman. It's already been deleted, but SportsBrah posted:
"I don't understand why you immediately jump to violence. Aren't you the crown jewel of Rudius' writing empire? If you can't be civil, then what intellectual legitimacy does the organization have?"
Proser replied:
"Are you serious? If you'd been here more than a month, you'd realize how retarded you sound...or not. Either way, shut the fuck up."
Now how could the RMMB be losing posters?!
Horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max has yet to comment.
Fuck, I'd take that bet. 18 Million dollars? He won't hit 10% of that.
If I were Gawker, I would have upped the bet to 50K, put the money where YOUR mouth is Tucker.
Gawker should have punished Tucker for being a douchebag by placing the bet at 300K. They don't have anything to prove to that shiteater, so why should they play his little game?
Do the earnings of this movie include DVD sales and rentals, or what? It takes years to figure out total earnings like that.
^^^^
The way Tucker phrased it in his post, no, DVD sales and the like would be excluded. He seems to be saying that it will only be first-run North American box office receipts. But, in typical Tucker fashion, he left it vague enough so that later, when called out on it (see his wager regarding the sale of Maddox's book vs. Ann Coulter's), he can wiggle out of the wager. Tucker's smart, and knows that if things turn against him, all record of this will be deleted.
I would love to hear from our mod friend on what's going on behind the scenes tonight.
Someone on the message board said:
"I don't get why Tucker's detractors always reference the Opie and Andy thing. It's been a while since I watched the YouTube video, but I thought they were jerks, being underhanded, rude and downright disrespectful in an appalling way."
Fucking hypocrits. Tucker's "brand" consists of him being an underhanded, rude, disrespectful jerk. And in an appalling way, no less.
RE: OPIE AND ANTNE
"Someone on the message board said:
"I don't get why Tucker's detractors always reference the Opie and Andy thing. It's been a while since I watched the YouTube video, but I thought they were jerks, being underhanded, rude and downright disrespectful in an appalling way."
Those guys are indiots and dicks just like Tucker. Did they own Tucker? Not sure. Not really relevant. What is relevant and telling is that Tucker thinks he can make it disapear by pretending it never happened, when it clearly happened and happened very publicly and badly.
What other things does he think he's going to be able to 'wish away to the cornfield' as this shit storm grows way beyond his control.
Come on tucker post the O&A (Interview thing) thing.. Is it scary that a couple of loser DJ's. Put you in your place and called you on your bullshit? After they smacked your sorry dumb ass into a wall, you pandered and ran away! DOUCHE!!
I know (Tucker) your reading this ...or maybe the bottom line of B.O Silly little freak is.
I have a question? I'll post it her because if I posted it at your site it would be deleted and you would never answer it. So here's my (KFM Die you fuck!) (SLF Hows the tempeture in your Mom's basemenT) question (Tucker, What happened to the "Party House?) you were going to set up also Do you know what a "cameo" is MMMF, TTFFT MLOV fighters are not famous people ...again you fail!
Now for the serious stuff.
Is tuckers plan for advertising, really to give out "Free beer" and have stripper at the sreening?
What kind of theaters will host this?
I figure most multi-plexes won't want a bunch of drunk loser's fucking trashing thier bathrooms, insulting thier staff and puking in thier theaters. Being all hype up and yelling at families and and jerking off on the floor of the movie house.
To top it off no place wants protesters (Paid or not ) Harressing people who are just trying to see a movie (that isn't a retarded freak show)
In the entire history of bad ideas this whole plan is the number one bad idea.
Is this really his plan?
@10:00
Exactly. At the very least, Gawker needs to demand a time limit. With the current definition of the bet, the movie could gross the $18mil the opening weekend or 10 years from the opening weekend, and horrible piece of garbage Tucker Max would still win the bet.
I wonder if any larger site made fun of Tucker, if his reaction would be the same. If Maddox said, "Tucker was a douchebag," would he say, "Wow maybe there is something wrong with me?" Or maybe perhaps Fark, where the creator is Drew Curtis. Maybe if Drew Curtis who runs a hugely successful site said something negative about me, I'd do something about it. Maybe. If only such a thing happened. Or maybe Film Drunk! A site hosted by his "friend" Ryan...who owns a network site that Rudius aspires to be. If only one of those people made fun of Tucker's script...then it his perception would change. Right?
Right?
the bet should be made in none-fiat dollars.
fiat dollars favor douchebags and douchebaggery, as they try to place all of entirety in monetary and spiritual debt to expand their corporate-state power.
fiat dollars are ultimately worthless, as all paper currencies are.
fiat dollars are based on debt, and thus viacom throws fiat dollars at tucker to place the country in spiritual debt.
no matter how many fiat dollars tucker's movie makes, the nation's debts will rise. so ultimately, tucker's movie can only lose money.
is it still a mystery to anyone that tucker is the paragon of the fiat douchebags who enlarge their empire of small-souled men with large heads and tiny little hands and lying, devious, douchebag ways?
tucker has already lost the bet, as lies, dishonesty, and douchebaggery generate no wealth, but only debt.
the fact that he is paid in fiat dollars printed form thin air by a private cartel and dipped in douche does not make him a rich man, and it never will.
tucker is the ultimate product of a fiat system, which always tends towards douchebaggery, so as to protect the giant secret at the core of the society.
From the comments section of the Gawker piece:
"I have two of the most boring Tucker Max stories ever, but I suspect they sum up all true TM stories.
I went to a book signing of his at Scorekeepers in Ann Arbor (only at the behest of a TM fan I knew!) - TM probably thinking that the frattiest bar in town would bring the customers - and there was simply no one there. So TM instead sidled up next to me at the bar to talk loudly on the phone about how he had a *huge* signing upcoming in Chicago and that this one was small potatoes for him. No one paid him any mind at all, and it took ages for him to get his drink. He eventually slunk off (sadly, not to oblivion).
Next, my roommate hooked up with the co-writer of the amazingly original "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" script, and TM and the co-writer recently harassed her to provide them $50k in financing for the movie. She bought a house instead. I guess based on the winner of the Gawker bet we'll see if her investment in a home was a foolhardy one!"
Can anyone find out when Nils hooked up with that girls' roommate? It may just be the case that Nils is a philanderer.
I imagine hooking up with Nils Parker involves leaving a trail of donuts leading towards the bedroom.
some things to get in writing before betting with tucker:
1) will tucker's minions be able to sneak up and choke you from behind, as tucker giggles like a girl in te ebackground?
2) will tucker be able to spam fake reviews, or have his minions do so?
3) will tucker be the one counting the boxoffice receipts?
4) will viacom be funding kungfu mikes to fight tucker's fights?
5) will darko be funding ryan hollidays to espouse/hype crap?
6) will they be adding up all the receipts from the popcorn/m'n'm's/goobers nils consumes?
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=23180&page=10
I'm the one who spoofed the email - the whole idea was to have Gawker accuse Tucker of making it up himself that they'd accepted the bet.
It worked alright, but I guess Ian Speigelman (Gawker's weekend editor) got in touch with Tucker like "wtf? no we didn't say that."
If any of you moonlighting RMMB mods ask Tucker for the full email transcript you'll see the legal byline at the bottom, which I added for "authenticity"
hamilton@gawker.com
Ref 9CN/R6J (or something like that)
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWED, GAWKER MEDIA DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES INCLUDING WARRANTIES FOR MERCHANTABILITY, NON-INFRINGEMENT AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
Really thought he wouldn't be dumb enough to fall for it... but he did, then Gawker told him it was fake (damn you Gawker weekend staff!)
Oh well.. would've been funny if it had of worked.
HHAHAHAHAHAHA That's awesome.
"thux! Those mean gawker jerkth are playing trix on uth!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Good job dude! Tucker's an idiot if he thinks that other people are going to play his idiotic games.
I too can't believe Tuckster fell for that either. He must have been proud as a peacock walking around the offices 'oh, it's on!'
Right now he's in his truck with his dog heading west. Probably stopping now and then to find wifi to read blogs like this.
Tucker, if you are reading this, let me say please have a safe trip. Take a break for a few weeks. You do deserve it. And please get back to entertaining us. Because you do entertain me.
Never change. Well, maybe ditch the GIANT shorts!
Your Pal, JGB
Am I the only one who thinks Tucker pointing out how Gawker got "owned" by Jimmy Kimmel, while completely forgetting to mention anything about him getting raped on Opie & Anthony is just a LITTLE precious?
He is such a fucking douche. And I wouldn't even say Emily Gould got "owned" per se. The internet is accessibility, and quick information about celebrities is just one part of that. And who the fuck is Jimmy Kimmel kidding? HE DOES LOOK INTOXICATED ALL THE TIME! Look at his eyes, he just has one of those drunk faces, no matter how sober he is. I'm not saying what Emily Gould endorses is right, I'm saying it's part of the internet making information so accessible. Tucker of all people should get that.
And, I kind of lost respect for Kimmel's argument the moment he said, "I don't know why someone would want an ad on a website." Nice going.
FEEE, FIIII, FOOOO,FUUUMMM! WHAT STINKS?
It must be basement dwelling JON TANDO! AKA: "Silly little freak" The RMMB mod, who has nothing else going on in his life then RMMB. How many t-shirts did you sell this week Jon? I would think you would sell a ton. You are a grphic artist after all.That "Thumbs up" version of yourself you put on a shirt. That cartoon. (You know the one that looks like its ripped off a page of 1997 Calvin and Hobbes strip)
Never mind. I'm going to go get some coffee. Then I'm gonna drink it out of a regualar cup that doesn't have "Banned" written on it. Or have "Red dots" printed on it.
While I'm drinking my coffe I'm going to fan myself with 21 one dollar bills. That would be the amount you excpect brainless people to send for you "BANNED" Coffee cup.
Damn Jon you took down your awesome t-shirt of yourself!!! Why? It was the funniest thing on the internet every. If you wanna buy SLF crap, garbage, go check out the "Awesome stuff" this basement dwelling Mac & Cheese eating, mountain Dew drinking loser has to offer.
Stop chewing or drinking anything you have. When you view this losers merchandise you may spray it on your PC>
http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/slf
it's hilarious that he made the "bet" in the first place. it's even more hilarious that he actually thought they were going to take him seriously on it.
Thtop it, guyth. Thutht thtop. Theriouthly, guyth, it'th not funny.
buftthectth?
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
Light, you're the man for tricking Tucker.
You'd best be careful,though, or Snotface Mike may show up at your house and pull your hair.
Hey Light, send Tuckernuts another spoofed email suggesting that the loser of the bet get a vasectomy.
imagine getting $10,000 from tucker, hot off viacom's/the fed's/wall street's presses.
imagine the green dollars, all dipped in douche and still steaming and dripping, and all stating "in god we trust" as tucker secretly videotapes himself shoving his cock in girl's anuses and viacom wires fiat dollars to tucker's team to publicize it all on the gilmore girls' fansite and all the viacom interns have sex with midgets and make fun of them and different ethnicities and overweight people to boost booksales, just like tucker, using abortion as a humorous prop and parceling out viacom cash for fake reviews and sneaky attacks from behind, and two-on-one fights where tucker's minions fight like the girl tucker secretely videotaped.
imagine matt czursky's agent seeing all this, signing him up for the trainwreck, and destroying his career with immortal corporate douchetardery.
imagine matt picking up his paycheck--imagne the fiat dollars, all dipped in douche and still steaming and dripping. "in god douchebaggery we trust."
Go Tucker, Go!
Good work, Light!
Hey, Viacom Guy, thanks for keeping me entertained now that Anti-Semitic Guy is gone.
Are you the same person as Anti-Semitic Guy? Hmmm...
I have some thinking to do.
"College" opened this weekend to $2.1 million dollars.
This does not bode well when Tucker goes to get a distributor. Same target audience.
^^^
Yeah, but "College" had no-name actors and a weak script. IHTSBIH has ... oh, never mind.
tucker is the true hater--he thwarts Moses's law, and viacom/darko reward him immensley for doing so, as they wish to destory the Judeo Christian Heritag/morality/the family/manhood/honor and grow the corporate state, where we all worship the fiat dollars they print.
Tucker hates Moses's laws:
6 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery;
7 you shall have no other gods before me.
8 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me,
10 but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.
11 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.
12 Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you.
13 For six days you shall labour and do all your work.
14 But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you.
15 Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day.
16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
17 You shall not murder.
18 Neither shall you commit adultery.
19 Neither shall you steal.
20 Neither shall you bear false witness against your neighbour.
21 Neither shall you covet your neighbour’s wife. Neither shall you desire your neighbour’s house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Commandments
tucker regularly violates and scoffs at these commandments, and viacom is supporting him and funding him as he profits from it.
are we not allowed to criticize tucker and viacom from being immoral?
is the jack-booted fascist corporate-state beginning? are kungfu mike and silly little freak going to show up tonight in jack boots, wearing leather, and making out, riding tandom on a harley to instill the new world order, like those nihilists in the big lebowski?
Now Tuckernuts is gonna have to call this site out. Perhaps he will challange us all to an MMA bought against him.
indeed, tucker does hate moses's law:
Tucker hates Moses's laws:
6 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; (tucker/viacom/darko want to enslave us to the immoral corproate state--just read robert greens 42 laws of power)
7 you shall have no other gods before me. (they have exalted the fiat dollar over the true Lord, Moses, and all teh prophets and poets)
8 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. (all they do is worship idols, like Paul Wall)
9 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me, (Tucker/viacom/darko are aborting futur generations, so that's no big deal, i guess)
10 but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.
11 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name. (They print "in god we trust" on all their fiat dollars)
12 Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. (I bet tucj
13 For six days you shall labour and do all your work.
14 But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you. ( i bet that tucker never takes a day off of being a douchebag, and that all his personal assistants have to work on sundays to support his douchebaggery, or else they'll get choked from behind, and other things from behind might happen too)
15 Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the Lord your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day.
16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (does tucker honor is parents in his storie? i forget...)
17 You shall not murder. (tucker aborts babies as a comedic device)
18 Neither shall you commit adultery. (need we even begin?)
19 Neither shall you steal.
20 Neither shall you bear false witness against your neighbour.
21 Neither shall you covet your neighbour’s wife. Neither shall you desire your neighbour’s house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.
(if bunny were your grilfrend, wouldn't you be coveting your neighbor's wife?)
new article:
http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080901/LIVING08/808300301/1005/ENT
here're some links of potential interest that the article might have mentioned:
http://gawker.com/5035006/even-shock-jocks-hate-tucker-max
http://tuckermaxdoucebag.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2216899883
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAbreeMofRg
http://www.amazon.com/Amazon-censored-my-review/forum/FxFIT6WSO238TC/Tx19AAIJLF8PV9N/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tft_tp?%5Fencoding=UTF8&s=books&asin=0806527285&store=books
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=tucker+max+douchebag
http://gawker.com/tag/Tucker-Max/
Viacom guy, you gay.
"Viacom guy, you gay."
Well now Tucker, there's a brilliant argument against Moses's Law, exalting everything you learned at Duke and U of C.
It's funny, but I find these Moses/Viacom/fiat dollar meanderings to be more interesting than Tucker. I can't help it. One dimensional jokes about bodily functions and vapid teens just aren't that interesting. At least Moses/Viacom/Federal Reserve Bank have aspired to a certain degree of accomplishment. Namely, parting inland seas, attempting to monopolize mainstream media and deceiving people out of their hard earned labors through dissemination of privately minted money. I mean, breaking down a Pharaoh with God's help or fleecing the "richest" nation on Earth with the Devil's, are far more interesting pursuits than the trite insights of a prevaricator who has spent zero efforts engaged in self-examination.
You go Federal Reserve Bank! Strip that nation of all its wealth, to the point that you lose everything. You go America! Nail that drunken, insecure coed, all the while ignoring that you're spending 50% of your life's energy keeping .00001% of the population in a state of unbelievable wealth.
This message brought to you by the Council of Thirteen. We're so powerful now, we no longer give a fuck if you know who we are.
no--there is no council of thirteeen.
it's just tucker/nils and some viacom/darko/federal reserve/duke/u of c douchebags who oppose Moses's law it seems.
To paraphrase:
Moses' Laws? Fuck Moses' Laws, it's Tucker Max laws!!!
its bad karma to oppose moses's law.
tucker "fiat" max is insulting abraham.
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil. Isaiah, 5. 20
I'm pretty sure Isaiah is tallking about Viacom/Tucker Max and Darko.
Look it up in the Old Testament, if you don't believe me.
i don't know about you guys, but i'm waiting upon the Lord, as darko/viacom/tucker max rule for the moment:
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah, 40. 31"
holy shit. shut the fuck up.
awsome:
http://www.collegeotr.com/james_madison_university/the_cure-all_to_lame_parties_11106
tucker is targeting the college market with his douchebaggery:
" But among all of the social calamities lurks one great thing about attending parties as an upperclassmen and that is the chance to see guys (who are most likely douche bags no different than Tucker Max) hit on the eager-to-please-or-tease freshman girls and FAIL.
"
http://www.collegeotr.com/james_madison_university/the_cure-all_to_lame_parties_11106
yeah right--they'll all be lining up to see his epic fail movie.
there's a much larger makret for Moses and Isiah, but the viacom/duke faculty/administrators will allow tucker on campus, but not the immortal prophets, as they place the students in massive debt and teach them to worship the fiat dollar, enslaving them to corproate cubicles at viacom, will they will have to wear suits and ties to come up with pr campaigns to rebrand tucker's failing douchebaggery.
eh, let the douchebag viacom guy spew his crap. we can just scroll past it, but think of all hours of his life he wastes on it.
Viacom guy = Cloud Starchaser
I thought Starchaser killed himself a while ago.
Come on guys, Cloud is a good guy. A little eccentric, but still a good guy. He's a much better person than Tucker.
The last we ever heard from Cloud was that Heroic Destiny Squad didn't quite work out, and that he regretted not sticking with college.
Say what you like about him, but I found his Tucker Max baiting hilarious - there hasn't been anyone who stood up like he did in a long time.
^^^No, I agree, I'm just saying, I thought the word on the e-street was that he offed himself. If he didn't, I'm glad.
I remember that video he did a while back, where he was, like, taking food to homeless people or something, like trying to be a modern-day superhero. It was weird, but cool... better than parading rampant narcissism around like it's a life-choice, like some people I could name.
Oh the joy of articles that Tucker Max posts on his message board verifies a scene from his shitty screenplay that they're calling fake:
http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080901/LIVING08/808300301/1005/ENT
"During a scene where actor Jesse Bradford ("Flags of Our Fathers," "W."), who's playing Max's real-life buddy Sling Blade, is connecting with a kid through toys, Max pulls Bradford aside. He shows the actor how to set up an L-shaped ambush with little green army men. Lesson learned, Bradford steps away and Gosse steps in to consult about the camera angle."
Erm ... so that FAKE SCRIPT POSTED BY THEM seemed to be sooooo good that they're using "fake scenes" in the movie?
Looks like SLF and his lies are showing through once again.
BWWWWAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Fanboys and losers think his movie might do 200,000,000!
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=23216
I love this delusional bastard and his angry gang of followers.
There's no council of thirteen. It's 12. Majestic 12. They're at war with the Illuminati. Get it right. Tucker is a tool of mass hypnosis disseminated by Echelon 4, which they are building under Area 51.
The Council of Thirteen is the Illuminati.
One jackass wrote: "You obviously haven't been following Tucker's blog at all. Tucker is not only outperforming studios, he's setting precedents that I'm willing to bet a lot of other producers are going to do a poor job of emulating.
I didn't vote because the numbers mean nothing to me, as an observer, but this is going to be a success.
Not just because it will be a good or great movie, but because Tucker is an excellent marketer. He has created a good deal of press for a movie that really should have been unheard of not just before post-production, but after the initial release.
Since Tucker has already made some great marketing moves, and because I'm sure he has some more ideas in the works and will have more free time to think of even better ideas, the movie is going to gross big."
- Uh... Tucker's outperforming studios? What does that even MEAN? Studios make movies. Tucker's in the middle of one movie. How is he 'outperforming studios?' This makes no sense at all.
- 'He's setting precedents...' And, what would THOSE be? Silkiest legs for a dude? Most days showing up-to-set in flip-flops? Has anyone else been decidedly underwhelmed by the non-revolutionary-ness of his blog?
- 'He has created a good deal of press...' Really? Outside of the Gawker thing, which only started because his script got leaked, which he had nothing to do with, what publicity has he created? Everyone on the RMMB keeps mocking Gawker as an irrelevant site they've never heard of, yet the Gawker thing is his big marketing accomplishment thus far? They can't have it both ways.
Here's another one: "I voted 76-100 million but I think it could do way better than that. I mean, come on. If slapstick, stupid-funny 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo' can do $65,538,755, I have complete faith that Nils and Tucker can write and execute something that far exceeds that number. How much effort did it take to write fucking Deuce Bigalow?"
Um... conflate much? She acknowledges 'Deuce Bigalow's' success, but doesn't seem to realize that it Was Rob Schneider who sold that movie (God only knows why); then she proceeds to conclude that because Tucker's movie is better-written (which must mean that she hasn't read the script), it will do better. Fifty bucks to whoever can spot the fallacious reasoning here.
Well, Tuckernuts will just have to eat crow when his movie fails like that time when he fucked a fat girl.
viacom guy(s) are the coolest/most insightful ones here. say what you want, but they're onto something. no big conspiracy, as someone said, but just the rise of corporate/state douchebaggery and now it has a face (& frankenstein head) tucker max.
isn't tucker's posting fake reviews and removing real, true ones a lot like the corporate douchebaggery of lying about earnings/etc.?
how come none of the duke faculty speak out against this and embrace their douchebag son?
perhaps because they all worship the corporate fiat state of which tucker is destined to be king, where he shall rule all of society like his message boards, by fiat, with an iron douchebag?
SARAH PALIN FACTS:
Global warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin kills polar bears - with her bare hands.
The Russians sold Alaska to America because they knew even before she was born, Sarah Palin will not submit to autocracy.
Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.
Sarah Palin's enemies automatically get added to the Endangered Species list.
We'll never know who would win a cage match between Chuck Norris and Sarah Palin because no cage ever constructed can hold her.
Sarah Palin has shown us how to save Social Security.
Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity's war against the machines.
Tucker Max has never claimed to have had sex with Sarah Palin. He's too scared.
Tucker Max's poop-in-the-hotel-lobby story is actually true. Somebody had just mentioned Sarah Palin.
i bet every producer is reading this blog and wonderinghow they can emulate tucker.
i saw matt douchesky walking aorund the other day, weeping tears of douche.
while one can manipulate the nyt bestseller list by buying copies of one's own book ( a couple hundred should do the trick), it's more difficult to fake visitors to one's website:
http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com
http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com?site0=tuckermax.com&y=r&z=3&h=300&w=470&c=1&u%5B%5D=tuckermax.com&x=2008-09-02T20%3A30%3A36.000Z&check=www.alexa.com&signature=xgWghCH87fwDuGBmHIdG9v3T%2Fbk%3D&range=max&size=Medium
3 months change - down 32%
And approximately 6 months before there's even a final cut of the film. So what's going to happen in that time?
i done did a new post at
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/09/is-tucker-max-suffering-from-writers.html
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Light,
His book never got published because his manuscript got rejected by the publisher right around the time his TV show went up in flames.
I'm sure Jojo is posting here just to piss Tucker off...
Why isn't anyone calling out (or... LOL, "WAHOOOOING") Tucker for exploiting HotWheelzorz or whatever he calls himself. I mean THAT is just tasteless!
Light - good post as always (although your best work to date was "pranking" Tucker) but you need to get back to that A-Z of the message board. That shit was gold.
Imagine the film's first private screening, in a recovering inner core neighborhood of Pittsburgh. Rudius icons Tucker, Bunny, SLF and Slarvey (sans Ryan) are seated center and mid theatre in a splendid 1920s art deco Hippodrome, with seating for 1,500. The Rudius Four are scarfing down Dove bars, popcorn and Mike and Ikes, chased by diluted Coke Zeros and warm, smuggled beer. A half dozen rows behind them are six minor cast members (none of the crew), the director (semi lucid) and the AD (stoned). Three rows behind them are two Darko reps, greasing palms and talking shop amidst hooker jokes with a few potential distributors who happen to be wearing ill fitting ersatz suits and speaking with Hungarian accents. In the very last row of the theatre are three men sitting quietly in the shadows. These are senior patriarchs of the Rothschild branch of the global fraternity of fiat banksters. You're familiar with the Rothschilds... hemophiliacs... no earlobes... Rothschilds.
Two centuries of inbreeding have not loosened the Rothschilds' grip on the puppet strings of civilization. "Let me issue and control a nation's money, and I care not who writes its laws." Historically, one of them was stupid enough to say this out loud, but fortunately, none of the common people were listening, then or now. And here three of them sit, quiet and unmoving, eyes darkened once by the dormant theatre lights then again beneath caterpillared brows, patiently awaiting for the film to begin. Firstly there is Robert James de Rothschild, the selector of this stage in Pittsburgh. Not because of any arcane practice of sacred numerology, nor tarot prophecy, nor other arts, but because Robert James owns an open nursery of chrysanthemums and gardenias just north of the city, where a branch of the Ohio river still runs clear. "If I must attend this function, I wish to kill two birds with one stone and visit my nursery", he said in French to his Mandarin concubine. Beside him sits Nathaniel Robert, gold depository magnate, poloist, fencer, and prime beneficiary to the assisted suicide of English relative Amschel Mayor James. Lastly, and closest to the aisle, sits Ernie de Rothschild. Black sheep. Misfit and malcontent. The only O-positive in the Rothschild clan. Pyramid cap investor to Tucker's magnum hopeless. Ernie is here to view the labors of his social engineering colossus, the master magician's attempt to stupify the masses from armed rebellion against treasonous usury and villainous servitude, and their accompanying protections in law. Tucker, yeah this Tucker, shall be the mail which protects the delicate porcelain necks descended from those which bled red in wine and blood at the Bastille. This time, shielded by vomitous douchebaggery, there shall be no rebellion upon the masters. There cannot be this time.
Despite the friendly weather outside, the theatre feels cold. The attending Rudius mods, the ignored cast, the Darko reps and Budapest buyers all feel their hair lift and necks shiver. The theatre darkens further, as the music and opening credits begin. The six eyes of the Rothschild men reach forward through the seats. A Darko rep sits upright, breaking his sales pitch. Not because his company's logo is flickering on the screen, but because it feels like the back of his suit had been split and spread wide, exposing his skin. It's like a breeze has hit his spine, and passes into his body, expanding to touch every cell. It's an energy which seems to read every thought, and pore every memory. The rep is not afraid that the men behind him can read his mind. He's afraid because they know everything he feels. "I cannot hide" he thought. He was like a mouse caught in the open meadow by a raptor. If I freeze like prey, perhaps I won't be taken. He suddenly holds his breath, and the hair on his crown rises. He knew it wasn't working... he knew now that his backers were not simply men of money, they were an abyss to be avoided. But it was too late. His eyes scan those seated in front of him. Everyone sat as he did, bolt upright and shoulders hunched, as if lifting some heavy weight in the hands. He sees the faces of those beside him, and they were all terrified. "My God" the Darko rep thinks to himself. "I had no idea. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He weeps a soft tear, feeling it arch over his cheek and fall from his face. I cannot move. I cannot run. I am helpless to what I have done. And every other person in the theatre felt exactly the same way.
Except for Tucker. The film was starting and Tucker began to hoot at the top of his lungs — he rose hard from his chair, pumping one fist in air and spraying popcorn all over his friends — Coke Zero, snot and artificial butter blew from his nostrils as an erection started to swell in his pants. Tucker had no idea there was anyone else in the room.
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