The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3201 – 3400 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Also, is there any doubt the reason the Greg D. chokeout video was removed is because someone over at Darko finally caught wind of it when it hit Gawker, and they called Tucker and gave him the ass-chewing of a lifetime, saying that he may be used to acting like an irresponsible idiot on his own dime, but now he's fucking with their money, and they'll be damned if they are going to sit idly by while he ruins their reputation by posting videos detailing assaults occurring in a production office that they are paying for, involving two "employees" that they are also paying for?
What a dummy. Time to grow up, little Tucker. Welcome to the real world, where sometimes you have to take off your crusty basketball shorts and put on your big boy pants and accept responsibility for acting like a total moron.
"part of an alleged mod's post:
"I've overlooked a lot of bullshit. I overlooked it when a bunch of mods like Bunny, Luke and others used to give fake negative rep points under the assumed aliases of other board members in order to drive a wedge into the community."
This is pretty interesting, why would they want to drive a wedge into the community?
and "assumed aliases of other board members" - so they were faking fake accounts that were ultimately attributed to real board members? all while maintaining the illusion that those real board members had created fake accounts in order to criticize other board members?
These people sound batshit crazy."
Here's what Bunny, Luke and a few others did that ended up driving out some of the best posters on TMMB.
Originally Bunny would complain that a few people would rep each other every single day no matter what. It began as a little joke she would say on the mod board, but we could tell that it was getting under her skin because she wasn't in the top 5-10 in posters with rep anymore.
So, she began to leave negative rep for people, THEN she would sign the negative rep to another person.
On top of that, she and Luke would go into people's accounts and change around their signatures. People thought it was a joke at first, but it became very prevelent on the board. Many people complained about it, and here was Tucker's response to all of them:
"Let me explain something to the whiney cunts who have been PMing me about their fucking signatures or whatever being changed:
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I don't care. You shouldn't care either, but if you do, I don't want to hear about it. I don't care about your signatures, I don't care about your rep points, I don't care if a mod is leaving negative reps and signing them from one of your buddies, I don't care about any of that shit. If you take that shit seriously enough to PM me about it, you need to fucking check yourself.
Do you people think I have the time or the desire to deal with your petty problems? In case you are unclear about this: I don't. From this point forward, I am going to just immediately ban anyone who bothers me about these things.
If you think a mod is being unfair to you, PM that person. If it goes poorly for you, tough shit. Deal with it, create a new account with a new username, or just don't come back. Contrary to what you may believe, this place doesn't need you. I don't care how many rep points you have, or how good your posts are, you are easily replaceable.
The TMMB should be an entertaining place, a place for diversion, laughter, and maybe some intellectual discourse every now and then. That is all. If it becomes more than that to you, you need to go. Nothing that happens here with regards to signature and rep points matters at all, so I don't want to hear about it."
This thing with it was, Tucker KNEW BUNNY AND LUKE WERE DOING THIS. He would laugh about it on the board, and there was no doubt that he knew his own moderators were fucking with people's accounts for petty reasons. So, when people began complaining again, they were banned. When one or two of them were banned, a bunch of really solid posters left the TMMB.
It still goes on over at TMMB. If a girl enters the board and announces herself, Tucker will go into her account and check through her PMs. Any moderator who hasn't gotten a PM from a female wondering aloud if somebody had messed with their account is a liar. Tucker still does this.
"I was just pointing out that he linked to the news article that clearly shows that it was the homeowner who said the part about the generator. If you want to show he's an asshole you should at least use the truth --- Heaven knows there is plenty of evidence. There is no need to lie --- unless you are an asshole."
The difference is that Tucker is writing about "changing people's lives," using this as an excuse when it's nothing unique at all. Yeah, the woman said something really stupid, but Tucker is taking responsibility for it. It's rather silly and unnecessary.
The thing that separates Otto from Troy is that Troy had an original script, not a rehashing of the same I got drunk and acted like an ass story told ad naseum.
Ryan Holiday has an assistant? How far down the skill-set ladder to you have to be to be an assistant to that pretentious fuck?
I'm Ryan Holiday's assistand and I do it for the free Tucker ball sweat and Bunny turds.
"Think about the resources you'd free up for solutions if you didn't plan your actions under the cloud of knowing you'd have to justify your decisions after the fact. I'm guessing you'd make gutsier decisions. You can give that freedom to yourself. I'm lucky because people have given me that luxury. Now, the economics are starting to pull that weight too. "
Is he fucking serious? I'm...I'm at a loss for words.
omg is matt czursky a douchebag:
4:30 a.m. The cab ride from Bourbon Street to our hotel with Matt, Jesse, Geoff, "Rachel," "Tim," and "Amy." We all talk drunken politics and "Amy" claims that Barack Obama quote, "LOVES ABORTIONS!" Jesse tries to reason with her, but gives up and finally says sarcastically, "I LOVE ABORTIONS TOO! DOES ANYONE NEED ONE? I'LL DO IT WITH MY FUCKING THUMB RIGHT NOW!!"
http://ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/
Good thing Czurchy is an actor. His blogging sucks bigger balls than does tucker's
These actors are freakin' morons. Do any of them have an agent? If my client was posting and/or being quoted on a blog talking about giving thumb abortions, I'd remind them that, as a solid D-Lister (which, face it Tucker, all these dudes are), they can't afford to be quoted saying horrendous shit if they want to continue to work in the future. Especially the Gilmore Girls dude. I guarantee that guy is going to have to go back to making ABC Family movies of the week after this. How's he going to explain to the ABC Family casting agents that he was just blogging in character?
Douches all around.
Someone left this awesome comment over on one of the Rudius network blogs called ShrinkTalk:
Posted by: Gabrielle at August 21, 2008 11:30 AM
I stumbled upon your blog after purchasing Tucker Max's book. Not only did I promptly return the book for a full refund after reading the first 40 pages, but as a fellow mental health professional, I am deeply concerned that you have chosen to align yourself with an individual that is so clearly in need of professional help. I enjoy your blog and think you have good things to say - informative, accurate, and helpful - so why link yourself to such a disgusting person? It really undermines your credibility.
Has anyone been able to confirm that Greg quit? I read Tucker's story about it and was shocked. Tucker is such a dick that he thinks that someone simply making fun of someone else on a message board deserves to be choked out by a bully with martial arts experience. I guarantee that the Jeff guy wouldn't have fucked with someone his size who knew how to fight. The fact that he choked out someone practically incapable of defending himself shows that he's straight-up pussy. What even worse is that it seems like Greg didn't even see it coming; intead the other guy attacked him.
Tucker is a total douche for writing about it as though it was hilarious. That was a battery and Tucker was cheering the guy on and celebrating about it. I'm sure Tucker wouldn't think it was so funny if someone did the same thing to his pussy ass.
By the way, how is it that Tucker has never gotten the shit beaten out of him? If he's really as big as a smart ass as he claims to be, he would have had to have fucked with the wrong guy by now. I wonder if he'd talk so much shit if he didn't have a group of his faggot fanboys following him around.
I saw the video of Cloud and would have loved it if Cloud and Tucker came to blows without Kungfu Mike and the fat guy in the sweater protecting him.
10:08 PM
Greg didn't quit, he is still a doormat of Tucker.
Ian Claudius however did quit, and he was the person who sent in the story to Gawker. His website is:
www.turningpro.net
Ian also could sue Tucker, show how that there is a system set up to physically intimidate and humiliate his assistants and still walk out with a six figure payday. The best part is, it wouldn't hurt his career. People in Hollywood are sympathetic to an assistant like Ian and that low rent frat boy bullshit doesn't play well anymore. It might work if you are Joel Silver, but if you're a nothing like Tucker, it's doom.
we want part 7 of the tucker interview!!
tucker's website is losing ground reallll fast:
http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com
looks like all this free internet press is going great (at bringing tucker down). i wonder how tucker and company plan to get a wide distribution. this is going to be a disaster, can't wait to see who tucker lays the blame on for why this film won't turn out to be revolutionary.
Hahaha. All of the vitriol has humbled Tucker a bit.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=698598&postcount=67
"Hahaha. All of the vitriol has humbled Tucker a bit."
He just called us jackasses you dumbshit.
Oh, boy, let's all hold hands and dance around the flowerbush and, and, and, SING!
♪ No-body cares about Tuck-er-Max, Tuck-er-Max, Tuck-er-Max,
No-body cares about Tuck-er-Max, An-y-moooore! ♪
^not a mod or a tucker fanboy
^not lying
^not lying about that either
^very much honest and happy to see mister tucker to bye bye yes yes sir very much very much honest yes
^most importantly: not gay
^totally not, swear
^no, really not, look i'll do a chick right now to prove it, you got any handy?
^i do chicks all the time it's like boring now
^ok ok i'm totally tucker my awesomeness just soaked right through my underpants in spite of myself
^yes its awesomeness what the hell are you implying?
fuck you, i can't grow enough dicks to handle all the pussy that's thrown at me
More dicks! More dicks! I MUST GROW MORE DICKS!
People better keep talking about Tucker. I want to see the cosmic implosion and count the bodies left in the wake of the Epic Failure that is Otto. He can't just vanish before the film is released (straight to DVD). What will Nils do? What dumpster will Ryan live behind? Will KFM ever realize he won't make it while under the Rudius curse (though he states he makes enough money to eat 3 or 4 packs of Ramen Noodles monthly)?
I don't want to find a new hobby.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Bufthsects!
What?
Bufthsects!
I can't undrestand a fucking word you're saying.
Bufthsects!
Do you have balls in your mouth?
Bufthsects!
Get the fuck off my porch!
Bufthsects!
Leave now or I'm calling the cops.
Bufthsects!
Yeah, is this 911? Great, listen there's a kid knocking on my door and screaming some word that I'm pretty sure is not in the english lanuage. Can I describe him? I'm looking through the peephole and all I see is a giant skull propped up on a tiny body. He's wearing elastic shorts and flip flops... Yes, he does look like he's shrinking actually, how did you know that? He's going away? Like forever? Oh, he's THAT ASSHOLE who is making that movie??? I almost feel bad for him now. Of course I'm not gonna let him in - I don't want to be anywhere near such failure. Okay, you too, thanks and bye.
Bufthsects?
Sorry, Tucker. I can't let you in.
Bufthsects!!!!?????
Gawker's latest article on Tucker features a firsthand account from Drew Curtis in which Curtis alleges that Tucker is "completing out of control," that Nils is "really the brains behind the operation, and that Tucker is "just a control freak."
http://gawker.com/5040547/a-cameo-in-the-tucker-max-movie
Tucker is ruined. Even Drew Curtis thinks Tucker is a bad person. Since Curtis' account is on Gawker, anybody who wants to, can see the reality that Tucker tries so hard on his message board to cover up.
However, this is old news. It is well-known that Tucker is controlling and combative. Even Tucker admits that, along with being a narcissist and a sociopath.
The only real consequence I can see for the revelation that Tucker is a narcissist is the suggestion that Tucker's stories are untrue. It stands to reason that a narcissist's self-glorifying stories would be false, given that narcissists are given to embellishment, braggadacio, and deceit. The numerous contradictory allegations don't help either.
@1:21
I think he was referring to Gawker. Either way, Tucker was humbler. He said that he can't predict the future. He even said, "You give me too much credit," meaning a narcissist turned down praise. Incredible.
I just read the Drew Curtis interview, and it struck me that everything that Marc and Vincenzo said on the Script Reader's blog a few weeks ago was apparently dead on accurate.
That is fucking awesome.
Tucker Max is about to Tucker Max fail at life. He'll certainly NEVER work in Hollywood again.
It's 14:59, Tucker.
It's shocking how subdued Tucker is with the latest Gawker post.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=698850&postcount=70
Guess he has no other choice. This is one he can't chalk up to disgruntled former employees or "haters" on the interwebs. This is a quasi friend and someone with a much bigger internet presence (that Tucker needs to leech off) who gives an honest account. I'm sure we'll see no more commentary about it from the RMMB, the fanboys will just ignore it like it doesn't exist ("IF I DON'T LOOK, YOU'RE NOT THERE!!!!") and Tucker certainly can't spin this as all part of his "plan."
Stick a fork in him, he's done.
The grips and electrics on the set of IHTSBIH would like you to know that this story:
http://ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/archives/get_back_to_wor.html
...is completely fabricated. This conversation never occurred. Nobody on the set has any respect for Tucker, and the G&E people avoid him at all times.
The interesting thing in all this is that no matter how well this film does (unless it breaks all comedy box office records), Tucker is finished in Hollywood. I am reluctantly coming around to the conclusion that this film may actually do decently, in the low to mid eight figures range, when all is said and done, with very decent DVD sales figures, so that it ends up turning a healthy project. It won't matter though, because Tucker will be radioactive in Hollywood. Most doors were already shut to him and the stories coming off the set are that he's almost impossible to work with. No one will want to deal with him; the only work he'll be able to get is (maybe, but doubtful) as a screenwriter who is kept off set. Maybe he'll be able to sell a few of his stories as movie ideas, but he'll have no involvement in the development.
Hey, even Boondock Saints eventually made some decent money. Ask Troy Duffy how that worked out for him in Hollywood next time he's getting you your grande half latte at Starbucks.
I'd love to read the damage control attempts on the mod board today.
The set review from the Fark guy is obviously a bit of a plant. Sure, he confirms that Max is an asshole, but that's old news. The fishy thing is Max obviously invited Fark guy to appear in the movie, so they must know each other, etc. And it's kind of funny how Fark dude claims the movie looks really great, but Tucker is an asshole. I think Tucker encouraged this dummy to send this to Gawker to try and take the heat off the movie and trick people into thinking it's going to be good. But who gives a shit what a guy who runs a link farm site thinks about a movie, it's not like his taste matters. This movie will still suck.
@1:36
I was both disappointed and glad that Drew Curtis claimed that "apart from him [Tucker] this is a really good group, who all seem to have their shit together." I am disappointed that Tucker might make money, but I am glad deserving people like Bob Gosse might get something for putting up with Tucker.
At least it's true that, even if he makes money off this film, Tucker will never work in Hollywood again. Like you say, nobody will want to work with him.
Furthermore, although idiotic teenagers may still be fooled, for anyone with any kind of maturity, any credibility at all for Tucker's persona has been destroyed. He is NOT as he presents himself in his stories. It's true he's an asshole, but he's the obnoxious and deplorable and not the charming kind.
@1:46
You really think Tucker orchestrated this?
@ 1:46
I'd be inclined to agree except that, a) Drew doesn't care about him enough to do something like that. He was in the movie, cause hey, who wouldn't? Other than that? I doubt it.
b) He doesn't really praise the movie. He agrees the script is shit, basically says the cast is doing the best they can, and says it will be great for the NASCAR audience. That's not really praise. At all.
This won't get huge distribution regardless. It's simply not a good film. Tucker has pissed off the wrong people in Hollywood, and he could be bringing them the next Citizen Kane and they still won't distribute it. He has effectively ended any and all chances of this film being successful in any meaningful sort of way.
This film was doomed before it went to preproduction.
@2:09: I do, although I think "orchestrated" might be giving him too much credit. I think he asked the Fark dude to basically vouch for him on the internet. Not that Fark's reputation is all that impressive, but it at least put a twist on Gawker's coverage of this piece of shit movie and gave them a reason to run something that is kind of positive about the production.
Again, there's no way I think Tucker is some kind of mad genius like he makes himself out to be, it's just that the Fark dude's write up seemed a little suspect given how glowingly he talked about anything related to the flick.
tucker owes his success to his douchebaggery, which makes it not success, but douchebaggery.
nyt bestseller = tucker's douchebaggedeness
movie = tucker's douchebaggedeness
From Gawker:
""I guess Drew did not ask Tucker about knocking up one of the extras? Or having his credit card declined at a bar and then not leaving a tip for the cocktail waitress who had to tell him three times his credit card did not work.""
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Does Tucker even know what a "Cameo" is? According to dictionary .com a cameo is:
4: a small theatrical role usually performed by a well-known actor and often limited to a single scene; broadly : a brief appearance or role
MMA fighters and a dude from Fark are pretty much as far away from "Well know actors" as you can get. Jared from the Subway commercials is better know then those people. Tucker should aim higher and get the kid from "The Stars Wars" you tube video to do scene. Actual John Fitzgerald is more well know then the cameo's he has now.
"Jared from the Subway commercials is better known then those people."
Jared is a spokesperson for one of the largest food chains in the world. Tucker's special guests are known to him and his fifteen fools.
I sure as heck hope that Tucker isn't in a room with a calculator going: 'if phree millions peoples come to Fark each day and they all buy fucking tickets that's like earth shattering numbers."
I agree, a cameo should be by someone well known to the public, not by the guy behind the guy, behind the guy. Inside jokes don't put asses in seats.
^^^Agree^^
At least try to get Burt Reynolds or Adam Sandler. Hell resurect John Candy. The "Cameos" tucker has posted obout..suck! How about Chevy Chase (Lord knows he needs the work) or how about "Paulie" from American Chopper or Paul senior. According to Otto' schoolof thought, thier big NAMES.
Maybe Paulie Shore would make a good strip club bouncer? You suck Tucker the cameos your presenting are shit!
With Tucker's "cameos" you can see his attempts at being "new media." It's an interesting idea/approach, but one destined to fail. Clearly, by using MMA fighters and the guy from Fark, Tucker is hoping that they'll hope spread the word about his movie, lowering his advertising budget. In his wildest dreams, Tucker is hoping that the guy from Fark, who has a large internet presence, will hype his movie. Plus, he's hoping that the MMA people will be clamoring to see fighters in a movie, thus driving up interest and ticket sales. The problem is, no one is going to go spend $10 just to see their favorite MMA fighter/the guy from Fark on screen for 30 seconds. Tucker's movie will probably get a couple of mentions on Fark, as in the "hey, check this website out (the movie site), you should go see it" and a few brief mentions on MMA message boards. But ultimately, this will be forgotten about in 10 seconds and Tucker's "new media" ad campaign will be a failure.
It's an interesting concept, and gets points for creativity, but one that fails on actual execution. None of the "cameos" is invested enough to actively pimp out the movie and drive up numbers. So their efforts are wasted.
^^^^Me again.
One more thing, it's amazing that 13 hours after the Gawker post from the Fark guy, there is still no more mention/discussion about it on the RMMB. Tucker was REALLY hoping for some good press/recommendations from Fark about the movie by including him. His lukewarm, at best, review is obviously something Tucker wishes never happened.
So much for Tucker's brilliant marketing campaign.
So Tucker is using The Long Tail strategy for his movie? Tucker's already shot his wad by being such a domineering ass and narcissistic self-promoter (which I realize he thinks are positive traits) that it looks like many of these niche groups will avoid the movie because of Tucker himself. Not that I think any Fark posters actually give two shits about seeing Drew "act", but the threads on Fark and on MMA boards about the movie have pretty much been 98% negative towards Tucker and his schtick.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=699107&postcount=419
[i]
Quote:
Originally Posted by ebm View Post
I can understand not wanting to answer this question, but how well would this movie have to do at the box office for you to consider it a success?[/i]
Tucker's response:
To make me money, it would have to make between 15 and 20 million.
For ME to consider it a success, the number is much higher. I'll disclose that at some other point, much later in the process.
one of the problems of being a douchebag is that all your marketying efforts are punctuated by this.
no matter what tucker says or does, the consumer will say.
oh really? who? oh yeah--that douchebag dude with the oversized head and tiny little hands who makes fun of midgets for publicity. isn't he being played by that other douchebag--matt czursky? and they have that douchebag director bob gosse! and that fatass to end all fatasses nils parker!! why doens't tucker make fun of his tiny hands and his fatass friends? what a douche!!
the first fark headline will be:
"douchebag duke lawyers finish film about douchebags and douchebaggery"
On MMA they will say, "douchebag film makes brokeback mountain look like mad max: return to thunderdome."
"no matter what tucker says or does, the consumer will say."
Most likely the consumer will say:
"Tucker Who?"
Then they will look at what critics say about it and probably rent The Hulk on PPV.
Here's the truth:
The public has spoken. Tucker Max is a douchebag. It's everywhere, and it's become hip to diss him, even when it's not fully justified.
Wherever he goes, he will know that when people recognize him, a good more than half will secretly (or overtly) think he's a complete tool.
That must suck, poor guy.
Hey guyth, thtop. Theriouthly, thith ith really mean. Itth hurting my feelingth. Thtop.
Otto says the he will make money as a net profit participant if the film makes $15,000,000?
So let's do some basic math.
Cost of filming: $6,000,000
They will need to stike at least 2000 prints for theatrical. Estimate 50k per: $10,000,000
Advertising (TV trailers, print ads, etc): $10,000,000
So on the conservative side, they'll need to spend at least $26,000,000 beofe they take in one penny.
So I guess Otto is right. He'll personally make money at $15,000,000. It just makes sense.
Numbers don't lie.
"Otto says the he will make money as a net profit participant if the film makes $15,000,000?
So let's do some basic math.
Cost of filming: $6,000,000
They will need to stike at least 2000 prints for theatrical. Estimate 50k per: $10,000,000
Advertising (TV trailers, print ads, etc): $10,000,000
So on the conservative side, they'll need to spend at least $26,000,000 beofe they take in one penny.
So I guess Otto is right. He'll personally make money at $15,000,000. It just makes sense.
Numbers don't lie."
15 million sounds about right for a 6 million dollar film. Of course Tucker won't get distribution in 2000 theaters, I doubt he gets it in one.
The controversy around this film isn't about how offensive it is, or how people are protesting it's release. It's about how bad the script is and how difficult it is to deal with Tucker. Unless the distribution company needs a big tax write off, then I can't imagine anybody touching this project. Too much negative baggage attached.
It might get limited distribution around colleges, but probably not enough to make a profit. Then it will most likely get a PPV/DVD audience, but that too will be small. Not enough people know about or care about Tucker Max and the film doesn't look like it will be good. It might sell okay on DVD, but not enough to make back it's money. Tucker's ever shrinking audience won't be able to bail him out on this.
Darko Productions will be screwed. I can't imagine their team of investors wanting to put a dime into the company after this embarrassing debacle. Darko and Tucker have zero in common, their audiences are too dissimilar. Also, how is Darko going to explain how they gave somebody like Tucker "full creative freedom?" There is no good answer to this other than "we fucked up... big time."
They will need to stike at least 2000 prints for theatrical. Estimate 50k per: $10,000,000
Um, a print only costs about $1,500-$2,000.
http://www.howstuffworks.com/movie-distribution1.htm
Distributing to 1,000 theatres would cost a million or so.
^I'm dumb. I meant two million or so.
But these are revolutilzonaries prints.
Cost of 35mm studio prints:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080316230317AApm65t
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080818170307AAWKzfK
The theatrical release doesn't have to be big or even successful for the movie to make money if it has a life on DVD and downloads. Kevin Smith said that the reason why he will always be able to make movies is that his movies are cheap and they sell a lot of DVDs. The theatrical releases of his films are not part of the equation whether they are profitable or not, since the theatrical release is basically a commercial for the DVD.
"The theatrical release doesn't have to be big or even successful for the movie to make money if it has a life on DVD and downloads. Kevin Smith said that the reason why he will always be able to make movies is that his movies are cheap and they sell a lot of DVDs. The theatrical releases of his films are not part of the equation whether they are profitable or not, since the theatrical release is basically a commercial for the DVD."
Interesting take on it.
Kevin Smith has an extremely loyal following of fans that love dvds, games, comic books, etc. Plus people like Kevin because he's funny and down to earth. The press like him as well.
Too bad Tucker is hated by 99.9% of the population.
"Kevin Smith has an extremely loyal following of fans that love dvds, games, comic books, etc. Plus people like Kevin because he's funny and down to earth. The press like him as well."
Kevin Smith also has something called "talent".
what you have to realize is that VIACOM and DARKO are douchebags too, along with the rest of corporate america and duke university and u of c.
i think it's awesome they are all going down like bunny in front of a douchebag with tiny hands and a frankenstein head.
this blog right here has been far more than a tucker max callout blog--it has been the start of a revolution.
when you think about it, we stay anonymous because tucker has VIACOM/DARKO cash to spend to pay losers like kungfu mike and fatasses like nils to go after us. so in a way, it is VIACOM, DARKO who is going after us. now, they might be populated by duke law douchebags who, like tucker, are fans of sectret tapings of anal sex, but soon, even they must realize that douchebaggery is a bad long-term investment.
sure--2003-2004, it might have been good to make a few grand off douchebaggery, but the problem is, we now know your names, your brands, and your name brands--Darko, Vicaom, Tucker Max.
this is only beginning.
the best is yet to come.
2:32, you are wacko.
3:23 I think 2:32 has a point. . .
they're placing this in a larger cultural context--something that becomes apparent over time.
what makes you say 2:32 is wacko?
3:23 is Nils Parker
He could only write a short message because he is eating:
1) four frozen pizzas
2) three cheesesteaks
3) four bowls of nachos
4) six boxes of fruitloops
5) five shole chickens
6) seventeen big macs
7) four boxes of cinamin poptarts
I want to weigh in on that question. 2:32 is a whacko because he makes paranoid and unrealistic claims much like schizophrenics do:
"when you think about it, we stay anonymous because tucker has VIACOM/DARKO cash to spend to pay losers like kungfu mike and fatasses like nils to go after us. so in a way, it is VIACOM, DARKO who is going after us. now, they might be populated by duke law douchebags who, like tucker, are fans of sectret tapings of anal sex, but soon, even they must realize that douchebaggery is a bad long-term investment."
Calling that "placing this [the discussion] in a larger cultural context" is ridiculous. That is kooky nonsense.
The movie could have a life on DVDs and downloads, because the movie might turn out to be good. By all accounts the rest of the cast and crew are doing good jobs.
its awesome how darko and viacom are sending people here to distance viacom and darko from tucker.
notice how they are trying to make it illegal and "kooky" to talk about viacom and tucker in the same sentence.
well, ye shall know them by tehir fruits.
ultimately, viacom and darko are producing douchebaggery.
ergo, they are funding douchebaggery that hist the ny times bestseller list and movie theaters.
ergo, this discussion is occuring in a greater cultural context.
^^^
HAHAHAHAHA!!
Man, this site is so addictive. I'm really thinking of spending $10 to watch the movie. All the unintentional comedy Tucker has provided over the last two years are certainly worth it. And who knows, if the movie is not a colossal failure, he and his entourage might decide to entertain us a little longer.
Tucker Max represents global oil interests in Southeast Asia? How so?
Tucker Max = epitome of douchebaggery
Douchebaggery = White men who go to Asian countries and fuck their women
White men drive high power vehicles that consume more oil than standard Kyoto approved vehicles.
High power vehicles require OIL!
Tucker Max is the spearhead in the plot for America to invade Laos and Cambodia! By his deeds we will be instigated to war and the blood of innocent children will flow.
BAN TUCKER MAX! BAN OIL INTERESTS! BAN WAR ON LAOS AND CAMBODIA!
Tucker Max represents global oil interests in Southeast Asia? How so?
Tucker Max = epitome of douchebaggery
Douchebaggery = White men who go to Asian countries and fuck their women
White men drive high power vehicles that consume more oil than standard Kyoto approved vehicles.
High power vehicles require OIL!
Tucker Max is the spearhead in the plot for America to invade Laos and Cambodia! By his deeds we will be instigated to war and the blood of innocent children will flow.
BAN TUCKER MAX! BAN OIL INTERESTS! BAN WAR ON LAOS AND CAMBODIA!
Kevin Smith and tucker do have something in common.
oops, I mean Kevin Smith and nils have something in common: their BMI
The Third Reich was instigated by RAND corporation, the same RAND that serves under the umbrella of Viacom...RAND promotes the slaughter of innocent children in Laos and Cambodia, RAND brought the thunder on the Nuremberg war criminals to subvert their own accountability.
RAND is the back shareholders of the Tucker Max/Viacom conspiracy. In 1986, six men in RAND corporation were arrested, their names were Taylor, Ulysseus, Coleman, Kent, Erlinger, and Railor, spell out their first letters. Coincidence? No, a secret pact was formed in 1977 to create the ultimate man of douchebaggery, the one whose future antics would justify a full war on global oil interests.
RAND falsifies statistics for the sake of corporate interests!
RAND has over thirty contracts in the DoD!
RAND owns Viacom, which in turn owns Darko, which in turn owns Tucker Max!
This is not conjecture. Actual documents are in the possession of key muckrackers who will blow this to the open. Watch the newspapers and keep your ear to the ground. We will bring down the house and the revolution will be disarrayed.
We MUST keep our eyes open. September 11th, 2001, eyewitness accounts of a fat mantittied man running through the scene, crying and vomiting sushi on his pants. Coincidence? Or was he the agent inserted in the structure, the one who brought the whole thing down. FIRE CANNOT MELT THE TWIN TOWERS! DOUCHEBAGGERY BLESSED BY VIACOM/RAND/DARKO AGENTS WAS INVOLVED!
Ban Tucker Max!
Ban Southeast Oil Interests!
Ban RAND!
Ban Viacom!
NO DOUCHE FOR OIL
NO DOUCHE FOR OIL
FUCK TUCKER MAX, PUPPET OF THE PLAYMASTERS!!!
^^^^^^^
it's good to see that marine guy is back.
thedirty.com > tuckermax.com
wtf? tucker is a douche, viacom has always sucked. but what the hell has this shit turned into? talk about tucker's lies and how his 'art' sucks.
Tucker is owned an ass-kicking. To jog your memories:
[And I give blanket permission to everyone: If you ever see me in a shiny shirt at Hyde hanging out with Brody Jenner and Joe Francis, please kick my ass. I have mocked those guys for years, and I'd rather cut off my nuts with safety scissors than become one of them. If I fall victim to the LA bullshit, I deserve to have my ass kicked.]
someone at viacom/darko is really sensitive.
awesome--tucker max is becoming a household brand--for douchebaggery:
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/08/nicolas_cage_to_get_in_a_ridic.html
The Picture of Firth: Colin Firth will star with Ben Barnes in Dorian Gray, based on Oscar Wilde's story about that guy (Barnes) who ages in a painting instead of real life — you know, the book you pretend to have read? Firth will play Lord Henry Wotton, an aristocratic douche bag who corrupts Gray with his life of hedonism — a Victorian Tucker Max, if you will. HR]
richard "donnie douchebag darko" kelly done fucked up:
http://fek.tumblr.com/post/44693552/is-there-a-bigger-douchebag-than-tucker-max
Is there a bigger douchebag than Tucker Max?
katiebakes:
No, seriously. Is there?
Hey - some people aim high. Depressing to know that Richard Kelly’s production company is making his movie
funny to see that czursky is betting against the internet/people and for the dictionary's definition of douchebaggery:
http://tmbg13.livejournal.com/1052.html
matt churchskie must have really been desp...
he is soooo 2002
These allegations of Tucker Max's doucebaggery only scratch the surface.
Consider:
1935 - One fully year after the trials of the Lindberg kidnapping, a stained T-shirt wearing man is seen eating a double double In & Out burger and having the mayo drip all over his tiny hands.
1947 - Seigel was Moe Greened, his employers more than dissatisfied with the snail pace progression of the Flamingo. His coroner was named "Max Tucker," a balding middle aged frat boy who joked about how he would have sex with the corpse - through the eye hole. Truth, or speculation?
1958 - The Iraqi revolution commences. Abdul Karim Qassim, with the blessings of the United States government, took control after overthrowing the monarchy. Half a century of war over natural resources would commence. In this period, documentation of a man titted lisping man was procured in which he is believed to have been at the execution of the disposed monarch. Samples of the transcript as follows:
King Faisal II: My son! Oh my son!
Nurse: We are losing him. A breach in the tunica externa shows massive blood loss...we must administer the drip.
King Faisal II: They shot us, like dogs, oh Allah, oh please...
???: Hey guyth, thtop healing him. Cuz like, I'm thuper therious. He needth to die, so U-TH-A can have oil and I can someday make a movie about fucking fat girlth.
1974: Largest series of tornados in US history pummel over a dozen US states. Rumors of a man who leaves donkey sized diarrhea in the wake of the tornados abound. One man took footage of a figure running IN FRONT of the tornado, dropping feces quite enthusiastically.
1995: Aum Shinrikyo releases Sarin gas in Tokyo subways, threatening the lives thousands. A naked lisping man is seen at the scene of the crime, drinking Absinthe and vomiting it promptly back up. He informs the police that he is "Shiva, destroyer of worlds."
2003: The Human Genome project is completed. Curiously, Tucker Max is nowhere to be found. Coincidence?
2008: IHTSBIH movie begins production. The US is in no better state than it was ten years ago. Do we see a pattern emerging?
BOTTOM LINE: RAND corporation has taken control of Viacom (as it did thirteen years ago) and has unleashed Tucker Max's wave of douchebaggery across the nation. Millions more will suffer unless HE IS BROUGHT TO A STOP. Tucker Max must not prevail! Down with Viacom! Down with RAND! Down with Tucker Max!!!
who are the viacom fanboys?
they're really getting worked up.
it seems like a satire they're writing, but is it?
Tucker Max and Rudius Media, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires are forcing our parents to go to bed early in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner.
We're through the looking glass, here, people...
Also:
http://progressiveboink.com/archive/connor.htm
“I know who you are. You’re that website guy who writes purportedly true, most assuredly emotionally stunted stories about your alleged sexual misadventures. You grossly exaggerate or entirely make up stories about yourself because you so desperately seek the fraternal approval that has been missing from your life ever since you graduated college and all your friends grew up, and you know that the internet is a vast wasteland of insecure, socially inept young men who have let years of timidness and rejection fester into a palpable misogyny that your tall tales can validate, and they will worship you accordingly."
tucker max is a douchebag.
viacom is funding him.
viacom is run by douchebags.
no conspiracy there.
donnie darko jumped on the douchebag wagon, probably before reading about how the entire internet thinks tucker is a douche bag.
donnie douchebag darko probably didn't understand that the amazon.com review system could be gamed.
well, they'll learn it the hard way.
I don't really blame Darko. It was a bad business decision. They saw a guy who was a "NY Times Best Selling Author" who had a "huge" following on the internet. They bought into the bullshit without doing their due dillagence. This happens a lot in Hollywood.
Part of the reason they rushed into business with Tucker was the fact that the SAG strike would have stopped work again, and Darko didn't have any projects ready to greenlight. So, they heard Tucker's pitch, thought that his internet popularity would lead to huge box office gains and signed to the project.
Of course if you ask Kelly or Hamm right now they'd tell you that they've made a big mistake but are doing their best to make the best film possible. Problem is, I doubt either of them read the script before they bought the project.
Tucker's internet popularity is steadily declining and this won't change as they go through 3-6 months of editing. I doubt at this point that TUcker is even allowed into the editing room. The stories popping up around the internet of him being a total douchebag to work around are most certainly true. I think Marc mentioned it on the other blog that Darko was looking for legal means to lock him out of the edit, and I believe they've found a few. Nils will probably be there with McKittrick and Gosse, but I'll bet Tucker won't even be allowed into the editing facility.
At this point, the film will be much better off without Tucker's input. He should stick to running his message board and lying about himself, it's really all he's good at.
I don't blame Darko either.
It isn't their fault they are working with a douchebag.
It is somebody else's fault they greenlit a douchebag.
I am working on the identity of this person and will get back to you.
10:21 is obviously from Darko/Viacom
It's funny how they bank on douchebaggery and then try to say "hey--the movie is different from douchebaggery."
Actually, the movie is about a douchebag, from top to bottom. From left to right. From the alpha to the omega.
It was written by douchebags, and douchebags chose to act and direct in it, and douchebag studios and major corporations chose to back it.
So tell me, how exactly are you going to save it from douchebaggery?
SillyLittleFreak's real name is Jon Tando.
http://www.jontando.com/resume.html
He's an unemployed videogame artist. He's only really been a lead artist on two projects, and those projects didn't work out so well for Nova Logic.
I worked with Jon over at NovaLogic and found that he was pretty talentless. He did work hard until he finally got the lead artist title, and then became totally unbearable. There is a reason why he hasn't been asked to be a lead artist on other games or other companies. He has not been employed here for years and no videogame company picked him up. His work speaks for itself.
If he's telling you that he's still making money on videogames, he's lying. IMDB also includes videogame credits, here is Jon's IMDB page:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2572261/
As far as his 2D animations goes, he's also a shitty tattoo artist.
His company "Shapeless Design" hasn't earned him a dime for a number of years.
Unemployed?
Talentless?
I'm sensing a theme on RMMB.
"I worked with Jon over at NovaLogic and found that he was pretty talentless. He did work hard until he finally got the lead artist title, and then became totally unbearable. There is a reason why he hasn't been asked to be a lead artist on other games or other companies. He has not been employed here for years and no videogame company picked him up. His work speaks for itself."
If you worked with us at NovaLogic you would know that he left the company to start up a new studio taking a number of artists, designers, and programmers with him. The guy wasn't unbearable unless you were a dick or incompetent. Then he called you on it. If you were on LinkedIn you'd know that he's worked for at least two game companies since NovaLogic as a Lead or Senior as well as done some film work.
Now that NovaLogic has gone belly up I wonder what you'll be doing for a job with that kind of attitude.
@2:27: HAHAHAHAHA! Hi, Jon aka SLF! It's tough hanging over here, isn't it? Where you can't just edit/delete anything you don't like or that exposes you for the douchebag you really are.
Did you seriously just name check LinkedIn? HAHAHAHA! What a loser.
Go back over to RMMB and try to reshape the truth about your pal Tucker as his crappy little wannabe "empire" crumbles as each new nugget of truth about him is exposed.
Also, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
"If you worked with us at NovaLogic you would know that he left the company to start up a new studio taking a number of artists, designers, and programmers with him. The guy wasn't unbearable unless you were a dick or incompetent. Then he called you on it. If you were on LinkedIn you'd know that he's worked for at least two game companies since NovaLogic as a Lead or Senior as well as done some film work."
Uh huh Jon. How many of those people did you actually take? I'll answer it for you. None, unless you count easily impressed interns who have ended up moving past you on the food chain.
Oh, and as far as your "film work" goes, where? You're not listed on IMDB for any art work whatsoever. You do realize that films actually list those credits on IMDB, right? Oh, and they list videogame credits too, unless you were on a game that never got released...
Jon, you left the company when? 2003? That's five years ago. Since then you've been a fringe player in the business. If you were good you would have been easily swept up by larger companies when you left. You have since done absolutely nothing other than being a post-production supervisor.
You were disliked by your co-workers and you smelled bad Jon. These are things you did to yourself and lying about it to gloss it over will do nothing for you.
FAIL.
Man, that Jon Tando plays the game of life by his OWN rules, huh?
And, by 'plays the game of life by his own rules,' I mean 'Jon Tando sucks and is gay.'
I bet name-dropping LinkedIn and bragging about stupid video games or whatever just SLAYS the babes, though.
Jon is so successful that he's openly trolling for work on other people's message boards:
http://www.freewebs.com/natasgirl/graphicdesigners.htm
"I am interested in getting back into
the game industry after a few years doing freelance work and film
post-production. If you need any logo or design work done, please don't hesitate
to contact me.
jontando@gmail.com
IPAddress = 72.132.37.89"
Say Jon, how is Shapeless Design doing again?
@2:47: Totally. How do you think he attempts to steal Playboy playmates away from dudes who "invest" in Gawker, as he detailed in his infamous post trying to slam the Gawker crew (which, of course, he later deleted when he realized how fucking stupid it made him sound)?
By namechecking LinkedIn and pretending he designs video games, of course. I imagine it went something like this:
"Hey, pretty lady. You should ditch that dude who invests in Gawker and come home with me. I know, it's a pretty funny website and gets about 10 times the traffic of Tucker Max's dying site, but still. Did I tell you that I have a profile on LinkedIn? Yep, that's right. I just namechecked a lame-ass social networking site that is only used by corporate lackeys and people who are too stupid to figure out how FaceBook works. Oh, and did I mention that I design video games, too? Yep, that's right. I design video games. Um, nothing you've probably ever heard of. I actually design video games IN MY MIND. That's the best place to play them, because it's easier to imagine them then to actually create something original. My favorite imaginary video game that I created in my head is kind of like Donkey Kong. Except instead of a giant monkey at the top, I stand up there with a T-shirt on that has red dots and says "Banned." And instead of Mario trying to climb the ladders to save the princess, Tucker Max tried to climb the ladders to save The Bunny from her latest bout of self-loathing. And instead of throwing barrels down the ladders, I throw blowjobs. Because I want to suck Tucker's dick. Hey, where are you going? Darn it. The Gawker guy WINS AGAIN! Damn you, Gawker guy! You haven't heard the last of SillyLittleFreak...I mean, Jon!"
The funny thing about Jon's Linkdn page is that the four people who recommend him are people off of the RMMB, none of whom have anything to do with the videogame industry.
BTW Jon, this is your moderator friend from RMMB, just so you know we all know the truth about you.
This has to be Inane from RMMB "outting" SLF.
2:27 is so clearly Jon. He was only unbearable to those who were dicks or incompetent? Oh, hey, that's the EXACT same logic he uses on the RMMB.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm..........
Woah.. Jon, you are dumb.
Someone posts about you being a dick to work with, and within an hour you post pretending to be ANOTHER NovaLogic employee who thought that you were a wonderful person to work with. I can't begin to grasp how you thought you'd get away with that..
If you were at college in 1990 like your Resume on www.jontando.com states then that means you're pushing FORTY years old. And you're spending your time talking yourself up on this site... failing at life much?
Fuck I love this site. Nothing better than seeing pompous assholes like you exposed for the failures they are. Even the other mods hate your guts!
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/sillylittlefreak.html
(Warning: the above link contains a picture of SLF and should not be viewed without protective goggles.)
"At this point, the film will be much better off without Tucker's input. He should stick to running his message board and lying about himself, it's really all he's good at."
Nope. He's not even good at that.
Oh no...a phone number.
818.521.6771
Dare we call it?
leave the guy alone. It's fun to bag on these idiots, but let's not stoop to their levels. let's destroy them with humor, not personal information. My 2 cents
It's probably his Mom's house anyway.
I think it would be much more fun to post it to the RMMB and claim it's Hamilton Nolan's (gawker) phone number.
Can one of the moderators from RMMB tell me what it takes to become a mod on that board?
It seems the better part of them offers the board nothing more than undying loyalty to Tucker. Now I can understand the loyalty, but none of them seem particularly creative and RMMB has sucked for a while now.
Just wondering, SLF, feel free to answer too, you fucking loser.
SillyLittleFreakWhoBroughtDownNovalogic has to compensate SOMEHOW for smelling like someone who never showers, right? Why can't he ban users on the RMMB if it makes him feel less miserable?
Oh, I GET IT!!! Y'ALL JUST JEALOUS!!!
Tucker Max and the RAND machine that has its hands up his fat pasty ass will soon dissolve into the puddle of vomit and viscous they truly are.
It needs to be said again:
Tucker Max is a Doucebag.
Oh, and Corporate Guy, you're fucking awesome.
Deranged, but totally awesome.
Holy shit, I just watched the Cloud/KFM fight. So it turns out that the infamous KFM, the virtuoso moderator of the TMMB, is just a small nappy-headed nerd? Is that really him? It would explain why he's honed his online fighting skillz. I liked the part where Cloud took KFM down and yelled "you're my bitch, mike! you're my bitch!"
Yeah, I've been in a few fights (not proud of it), but I have NEVER seen a coward and / or lame-ass fighter as sucky as "Kung Fu Mike".... Give me a break... And the FAT guy was a coward, as well, what with all the attacking Cloud from behind... Cloud may be a weirdo, but he at least showed some balls.
Snot Face Mike had an open shot and could have ended the fight with one punch.
Of course SFM slapped him. Why was Mike so worried about the camera? That didn't make sense? Cloud assaulted him first, that's on tape. At the moment he got hit by him first he should have known that he was just defending himself. Fuck, he has a lawyer as his witness.
That says to me that SFM isn't that much of a fighter because he couldn't size up the situation and how it was completely advantageous to him at that moment.
Nothing against Cloud, but it's fairly obvious that he's not a fighter. SFM should have taken him apart.
Yet another myth of the TMMB uncovered.
So, let's take score here... (and bear with me, I'm pretty drunken at present)...
So, Tucker is doing damage control on his damaged brand.
His lackeys and acolytes finally realize, for the most part, that he is a doucebag extraordinaire.
He's been nearly banned from the set of his vanity project (Oh, and Tucker, they call it a vanity project for a reason).
Tucker Max has fucked up in the worst (best?) way possible. He'll never again get another gig in Hollywood. He'll never publish another book of his "true" stories.
His "new media" career just imploded irrevocably within the past 4 weeks.
Where does that leave him?
As a loyal follower of "Tucker Max is a Doucebag" for the past two-odd years, I must say that it is infinitely satisfying to see Tucker fail in such a spectacular fashion.
Adios, Tucker. Have fun vying with Carrot Top for bookings, you fucking doucebag.
Again, it's 14:59 Tucker.
One minute 'til closing time, and no last call for alcohol, because the barkeep knew you were a worthless doucebag as soon as you stepped through the door.
It's 14:59, buddy. Make the most of your last gasp in Hollywood.
Because when the fat lady closes her mouth (and no, I don't mean the apperitions that inhabit your fictionalities, friend-o) you're back to square one: A big chin, small hands, a small cock no doubt, and a whole litany of fabrications that you can whip out in the pursuit of fucking a 20-year-old midwestern girl who is just asserting her independence.
Congrats. You really hit the jackpot, guy.
Color me impressed (with your unerring doucebaggery, that is)
The other guy with KFM was Slarvey (ex-minion, all posts deleted from RMMB). After the fight happened, Slarvey posted that Cloud had KFM in a hold for a moment, but that Mike reversed it. Tucker beamed on his board about Mike/Slarvey's version of victory. A day or few later, Cloud posted the video of the fight on his own site.
Slarvey had forgotten to mention that "Mike reversed it" meant Cloud had KFM pinned, and only let him up because Slarvey was tugging Cloud's shirt while saying "Enough, enough, enough." Since Slarvey had already kicked Cloud once from behind at the start of the fight, Starchaser showed enough sense to get off Mike, risking another Slarvey backside attack. One KFM headbutt later (a non-kung fu move might I add), and the fight ended in a draw.
Tucker had enough sense to strip the entire Cloud thead off his board after the video went online. Apparently his own contradictions are enough to keep track of, without having to worry about those of Mike and Slarvey.
Does "Silly Little Freak" AKA: Jon Tando really, physically reak? Can someone verify that he smells bad? The "Bunny's" post of when they first met hints at this, and some of the posts here bring it up.
Is Jon really the ideal picture of "the computer nerd, living in his parents basement?" That would be great! When I first joined the "TMMB" before it was the "RMMB" My user name indicated that I didn't like Hippies or thier agenda. I got negative rep from some one saying "My hatred of hippies was unoriginal and not well thought out" (This was before rep points came with board users names attached) I always thought it was Jon (SLF) that sent me this.
Is Jon a dirty, dirty, stinky, hippy? Or is he just a basement, mooching of mom & Dad loser?
Bunny also said that Tucker doesn't shower, either. Maybe she's just oversensitive. Or maybe that's the 41st rule of power: smell like a homeless guy.
It looks like Tucker is already starting to change the release date like he did with his book and television show.
"And the release date is still up in the air. It could be spring, it could be summer, it could be fall. By finishing filming, we are only ending the beginning."
This is extra funny because all we ever get from Sillylittlefreak on RMMB is him talking down to people to make something of their lives, and to stop wasting his precious time.
I love this blog so fuckin much.
Slarvey is the GC idiot.
The Trixie = Marnie Marie Tyler
sad that when the curtain is pulled we finally get to see the tiny group of losers behind Tucker's website. Not one of them has an ounce of charisma or coolness. They're just bland, lame and meaningless.
Less than ordinary, actually.
The Trixie is pretty horrendous. Reading it is like scraping sandpaper across my eyeballs.
New Gawker piece:
http://gawker.com/5041385/the-movie-crew-on-tucker-max-prick
It seems part fake-ish, part true.
Lately the stories have been, "Oh Tucker is a dick. But the movie's pretty good."
The following is from:
http://louisianamovies.blogspot.com/2008/06/i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-to-drink.html
"Well.... filming is going on in Shreveport, Louisiana. Insiders say that on todays shoot involving female strippers, an openly gay man was asked to leave the set following a scene in which he had to "swipe" a credit card down her backside reminisent of "Jack and Karen" of Will and Grace. The stripper, who reportedly works in the adult film industry, asked Glorioso casting to have the man removed from the set insinuating "sexual harassment". Apparently, the "stripper" was unaware of the sexual orientation of the extra. Insiders report that following the young man's departure, there was much verbal "gay bashing". Another gay extra subsequently walked off the set, feeling uncomfortable as a result of the name calling and open discussions (i.e. "c@$cksucker", "yuk", etc). Other female strippers on the set were reportedly dumfounded by the young man's dismissal, and openly verified that the gentleman who was asked to leave was in no way, shape or form inappropriate with the stripper/adult film star. Other observers on the set concurred. Shame on Glorioso Casting for not standing up for the young man, shame on the set director for allowing the continued derogatory remarks. I, for one, will definitely not see this movie."
Lawl... Tucker Max is a doucebag.
Can you actually do baby talk with a lisp?
Oh, and I almost forgot... Tucker ripped the "credit card down the ass crack" gag off of Family Guy.
Jesus Christ, is Tucker so fucking stupid that he doesn't realize that anyone with a modicum of familiarity with exceedingly popular comedic and/or other entertainment enterprises is going to realize that he's a plagiarist?
Running tally:
Stole "man talk" from a Bond film.
Stole the "King of England" bit from Overheard in New York.
Stole "The 30k Millionaire" from the guy who was pitching his idea to film studios.
Stole "pickle races" from Billy Madison.
Stole the "Credit Card Down the Ass Crack" from Family Guy.
Are there any that I left out?
"Are there any that I left out?"
Yeah, he stole his entire persona from Mack Tight.
Stole the McGriddle line from his buddy Slingblade.
Stole "fellate a hot curling iron" from someone on the board.
And "Oh, and I almost forgot... Tucker ripped the "credit card down the ass crack" gag off of Family Guy."
That's an old joke from the mid 90's, possibly earlier. No seriously, Tucker is telling jokes from the 90's.
OH, Stole the ending "Free Pussy" scene from a picture on college humor.
Tucker stole his career path from Troy Duffy.
Violent Acres was fucking right.
He's a creative black hole. Nothing about him is original. I mean, who the fuck asks a group of retards what the character's name is going to be? And what kind of fucking retard actually answers him when he asks such a retarded question.
At the end of the day, this film is going to be EXACTLY what his hard core fans will want to see, all 100 of them that will be left by the time this abortion goes straight to PPV.
30k millionaire was stolen from nik richie of thedirty.com btw.
Here's what V wrote about Tucker on http://www.violentacres.com/archives/155/the-5-worst-bloggers-on-the-internet
"Tucker Max
Even without mentioning his penchant for lying, I could write a book about the reasons I don’t like Tucker Max. But, in the interest of saving time, I’m going to stick with one, solid reason:
He is a creative black hole.
Don’t believe me? Browse his message board for a week. This guy is constantly drilling his fans for ideas on everything from what his television show should be about to what he should say to someone if they insult him during an interview! It’s pathetic. I mean, he doesn’t even give them a kick back after he rips them off!
I don’t give a flying shit what extended best seller list Tucker Max managed to get on. You don’t see Stephen-fucking-King begging the readers of his blog to come up with a title to his books."
Has anybody noticed that Tucker has a receding hairline, but covers it up with some hair he swoops down from the middle?
Look at that picture that went up today on Gawker.
I propose that when Tucker's straight-to-DVD motion picture hits DVD (if any copies are ever actually pressed, that is) we all pony up $1.00 to buy a copy and put it on Bitorrent hours after it goes on sale.
We could create a Paypal account for this purpose, and ensure that the Doucebag's film is a financial failure (a Tucker Max Fail, if you will), thus ending his career (as if he's not doing a wonderful job of that all by himself).
Thoughts?
^^^ Yeah, that's a swell idea. You get right on that. We're all behind you.
From http://progressiveboink.com/archive/connor.htm:
“Just an average Connor X Tuesday night,” I thought as I double-dogged two broads from behind. Whoa. Hold on. Back up a minute. Rewind. Let’s start at the beginning.
I was chilling with my boys, watching “the game” and doing tequila shooters. No big whoop. Like I said, average Tuesday night. I was maybe thirty shots deep when my boy Shawn suggested we go down to the trendy new nightspot where all the vapid cunts and collar-popping asshats got together to try to bump uglies. So we all piled into the patented Connor-mobile (heh, of course I’m not drunk driving, officer…) and went to the spot.
Now bear in mind, I’ve got like seventy shots in my gut at this point, so I’m a little sloppy. But hey, I’m Connor X. The night’s just getting started.
We roll into the club and I just see this vast expanse of vapid cunts. One vapid cunt steps up to me and barks, “you’re kinda cute.” I look at my boys and just know. Countdown to destruction in five…four…three…two…I smirk and reply, “Yeah, I know. Now who ordered a doggie bag? ‘Cause we’ve got a genuine d-o-g on our hands!” Her lip quivered and then she pulled out a gun and shot her face off. Roasted. Toasted. And burnt to a crisp. I high-fived my boy Steve-o and walked to the bar.
I started pounding beer shots. I had probably eighty mugs of beer before the barkeep said, “Whoa, fella, I think you’ve had enough.” With a wide grin spreading across my beer-encrusted face, I told him, “Enough’s enough, ‘fella’.” He toppled backwards into the shelves of beer and booze and his head fell off. Score one for the Con-man.
I slammed about twenty more beerskis and…whoa. Let’s just say I was starting to feel it. “Let the games begin,” I told my boy Jakester.
I scoped out the room. “Jokers to the left of me; jokers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with me, myself, and I,” I thought. I scoped out one broad and the veins in her rack were busting out of their seams. I sidled up to her. “Hey, I think there’s something wrong with my receipt.”
“Hm?” she asked inquisitively.
“Yeah,” I yeahed. “It doesn’t have your number on it.”
She laughed like a hyena and then laughed some more. I took this opportunity to pound a booze shot. I had her eating out of my hands, literally!
Just then a popped-collar assbasket walked up from literally out of nowhere. “Is this guy bothering you?” he asked the broad douchely.
“Not as much as your breath is bothering me, twathandle,” I deftly proclaimed. “Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, say hello to the dog-faced boy. I don’t know whether to shake your hand or give you a pat on the muzzle.”
I knew I had another burn in me before I closed the casket on this one. I tore off his popped collar and threw it across the mighty Potomac , deftly proclaiming, “Fetch, Lassie.” He aged two hundred years right before my eyes before promptly decomposing, like that dude in the end of Last Crusade. I flashed my infamous “pwned” grin and with a twinkle in my eyes, turned on “the game.”
I told the broad my infamous “dirty knees” story and before long, she was literally eating out of my hands. “I think you should meet my friend,” she flirted in my direction.
“Game on,” I volleyed back.
Flash forward to two hours later and I’m sack-deep in some premium poon tang. The two broads are doing orgasms left and right. We’re getting it on so hard. Racks are bouncing everywhere. Clits stand at attention and then nut girl stuff all over the place. You name it, these broads and I did it. 69. Doggie style. Karma sutra. Just low-down, nasty sex stuff. If I told you, you wouldn’t even believe me. Let’s just say, do the words donkey punch ring a bell? We made sex for like three days (Viagra? Yeah, right! Meet Connor-agra!) and I was just nailing these broads. Racks, boobs…you name it, I nailed it. It reminded me of the time I got a blowjob while skydiving off the Eiffel Tower . But that’s a story for another day…
Then it hit me. These weren’t just broads; they were vapid cunts. I hastily busted my nut and shuffled them out the door. “Call me?” they said in unison. “In your dreams,” I shouted back, slamming the door in their vapid faces.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was my boy Chas. “We’re hitting the new hotspot nightplace; you wanna come with?” Without hesitation, I duded in the affirmative. We rolled out. Oh yeah, I was also totally drunk, having done lots of beer while slamming the sleazes. But not too drunk, because I have a very high tolerance (what can I say? When you “get your drink on” as much as Connor X, you’re bound to build up a tolerance). We rolled up to the hotplace nightspot. It looked new and shiny in the crisp autumn air.
I took my pants off and we went inside. The bouncer stopped me. “What do you think you’re doing, sir?” he meekly asked. “It’s the no-pants zone and I am the zonester,” I hurled back as I strolled in with nary a care in the world. He fell backwards in his bouncer chair and cracked his skull on the baseboard. Brain matter and spinal fluid leaked out in a gross way. I didn’t give a crap.
I scoped out the broad situation. Affirmatory. Broad at 10 o’clock . I sauntered up. “I’m Connor X. Spank you very much.” She melted like butter in my hands and was also literally eating out of them. After I shot the shit with her for a while, I said, “my place or yours?” She vapidly suggested mine and we got a cab and headed back to Connor X H.Q. for a night of romance. Or so I thought. On the cab ride over, the broad began:
“I know who you are. You’re that website guy who writes purportedly true, most assuredly emotionally stunted stories about your alleged sexual misadventures. You grossly exaggerate or entirely make up stories about yourself because you so desperately seek the fraternal approval that has been missing from your life ever since you graduated college and all your friends grew up, and you know that the internet is a vast wasteland of insecure, socially inept young men who have let years of timidness and rejection fester into a palpable misogyny that your tall tales can validate, and they will worship you accordingly.
“I have no doubt that you are the ‘asshole’ you claim to be, but not in the way you claim; your stories are a study in embellishment and l’esprit d’escalier. You go out with your friends and maybe call a woman fat behind her back, but then you go home and write down everything you wish you’d been clever enough to say. Even if I’m supposed to believe you consistently have the presence of mind to cut all your adversaries to the quick with your witty barbs, if you truly drink as much as you claim, there’s no way you’d remember all your little quips.
“And anyway, even if every one of your stories is true to the word, they just show a startling hatred towards women and an utter disregard for others. You write these stories about your borderline sociopathic tendencies, demonstrating an utter inability to relate to others on a basic human level, and you’re lauded for it by thousands of internet users with a similar lack of empathy. It’s as though you’re autistic, except your inability to understand others as human beings with wants and needs just like yourself extends to a kind of malice that would never occur to someone with autism.
“You’re a sick joke. A little boy. But what’s scary is that your hostility and outright lack of any sense of connection with your fellow human beings, whether truly actualized in your supposedly factual stories or not, is something that a large sector of internet males who are similarly alienated from the rest of humanity admire and seek to emulate. You are a cancer and the world would be better off without you.”
“…”
Then we bootiefucked.
Connor X indeed.
How does it feel to know that the majority of humans who are aware of you want you dead, Otto?
The newest Gawker piece:
http://gawker.com/5041503/field-guide-tucker-max
I'm telling you, either Tucker or Darko (or both) are behind the last couple of "leaked" set reports that Gawker ran. It's just too convenient that they both follow the "Tucker is an asshole, but the movie is going to be really great" line.
It seems obvious that Darko or one of their financiers reacted to all the negative press the film was getting and is trying to do damage control. The easiest way to do that is to heap more of the "he's an asshole" type posts onto Tucker while trying to convince the potential movie-going public that the movie will still be of value, despite Tucker's rogue behavior.
Tucker has been uncharacteristically mellow when posting links to the Gawker stories on the RMMB. Just a couple of weeks ago, he was telling anyone who would listen that he was behind the stories, and this was all part of his grand marketing scheme, blah, blah, blah. Now he posts links to the coverage with the kind of "aw, shucks, they got me again" attitude that's indicative of someone trying to serve as a lightning rod so the production can maintain a chance in hell of making a couple of bucks.
Don't believe the hype, folks. Yes, Tucker is an asshole, AND this movie is going to suck. You all read the script! You know that this movie would be garbage even if it starred a young Paul Newman as Tucker, a pre-fatass Marlon Brando as SlingBlade, and was directed by the zombie-corpse of Orson Welles!
woah, they DESTROYED him
WTF is up with that last picture? Those shorts look ridiculous with that t-shirt.
http://acerbicbubblegum.blogspot.com/2008/08/this-is-work-of-fiction-any-resemblence.html
"WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2008
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblence to persons living or dead is purely coincidental blah blah blah.
Imagine, if you will, a young man. He is a bit awkward and socially alienated, and naturally resentful of those who are neither awkward nor socially alienated. When girls reject him, they attempt to do so gently, saying things like, "You're a nice guy," or "I see you as a friend." He grows increasingly bitter and envious of those higher up on the social hierarchy, like the inexplicably popular fraternity types. "Nobody likes the nice guys like me, and everybody seems to love assholes," he tells himself pitifully. Finally, he makes a decision. A decision to become one of those popular assholes. But he won't just be any asshole. He'll be the biggest, most obnoxious asshole of them all.
And so he begins on his quest to become an alpha-male. He'll have to drink a lot, of course, and treat women as disrespectfully as possible. Oh, and he'll need to insult other people and make them feel bad about themselves. That's what those other alpha-assholes do, so he'll have to be even drunker, even more disrespectful and even more insulting. At first, his quest to become the ultimate asshole doesn't seem to be working. In fact, the other alphas are just irritated by his attempts to become one of them. That's when he realizes that he needs back up. So he begins to assemble a team of followers, other alphas with "thick necked athleticism," to support him in the event that he insults someone who might actually retaliate. He becomes increasingly fixated with members of the military - the ultimate alphas, in his mind.
To his glee, this persona that he has crafted begins to get the results that he's been hoping for. He invents or exaggerates stories of his outrageous behavior, and uses them as propaganda to support his invented persona. "I am an asshole!" he proclaims, over and over. "I am a narcissist!" This, despite the fact that no genuine asshole or narcissist would ever admit that to himself, much less publicize that fact. Other, lesser alpha-hopefuls latch on to his inspiring tales. He spreads the stories first through emails, then through a website, and eventually through books. He creates a message board to gather even more alpha-hopeful followers, an army of sycophants who will feed his needy but ever-expanding ego and rally against critics and nay-sayers. He'll show them. He'll show them all. All those assholes who looked down at him. They'll be sorry when he's a New York Times bestselling author! Or, maybe they won't notice, because real alpha-assholes tend not to read much, or care what The New York Times says. But when he's a Hollywood celebrity, with his own MOVIE about how awesome he is! Then everyone will know that he is the best, the biggest asshole, the most alpha of them all.
On a completely unrelated note: www.tuckermax.com"
Nice...
viacom = tucker max
darko = tucker max
tucker = viacom
tucker max = darko
so many scripts/books out there, and darko/viacom went with the douche.
"Are there any that I left out?"
These are Fark cliches:
- 'Die in a fire'
- 'i would hit that so hard whoever pulls me out would be named king of england'
Remember that time he invented 'hilarity ensues'?
OH WAIT HE DID NOT.
The "Your face here" picture is also stolen. Some comedian did it first. I thought it was Dave Attel but a search for it turned up nothing. I am 100% positive about this. Tucker even aknowledged it a few years back on the message board.
AHAHAHA!!!! MUCKER TAX HAS GIRLY LEGS!! AHAHAHA
http://hollywoodbackwash.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/nicole-richie-legs.jpg
Dave Attell -- Skanks for the memories (2003).
Tucker did mention it once.
here you go:
Dave Attell steals from me [EDIT: Not really]
Select quotes from bipolar bro Tucker:
I am the idiot. ... I am stupid
YOU FUCKING PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID. Seriously, how retarded can a person be?
God Tucker is a douche. That "your face here" thing is a rip-off of those storybooks where you put your picture in the book and you become like an astronaut, bee, and leprechaun and all that other shit.
Wait, he REALLY thought he invented that? I thought it was just a parody!!! NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!
Tucker's finger really isn't on the pulse of comedy. And Tucker, don't lie more, Bunny thought of it, you douche.
Those of you who have followed the RMMB/TMMB for a bit will remember Tucker's clash with Anthony DiMeo, he of mega-doucheness fame. Well, looks like even those who used to side with Tucker are turning against him. That ain't a good sign.
From Philebrity.com:
Oh jeez, remember this? We first met über-bro Tucker Max (pictured, um, with “you”) back in The Great Blueberry Wars of 2006, when local promoter/publicist/blueberry heir/Rittenhouse ubiquitron Anthony DiMeo III seemingly went on a rampage and threatened to sue anyone who ever said anything kind of dicky about him on the Internet. (There was a lot of us.) At the time, we were unfamilar with Max’s ouvre, and when he contacted us to co-conspire/commiserate about DiMeo, it was one of those situations where saying you don’t like one person immediately puts you in the company and high esteem of people you like even less. After a judge ultimately dismissed DiMeo’s case, citing it as “frivolous” to take people who talk shit about you on a messageboard to court, we pretty much forgot about Tucker Max altogether. That was until Gawker started running excerpts from the script to Max’s forthcoming film adaptation of his book of the same name, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. And with the benefit of two years’ worth of perspective, it began to hit us: Maybe we owe yon Ant-ny an apology. Before you roll your eyes so hard and so fast that they begin to make hollow wooden sounds in your head, grant us the benefit of some comparisons.
Whereas DiMeo seemed to merely suffer from an outsize ego that comes with privelege, the bulk of Max’s humor seems to suffer from an outsize egotism that stems from his great pride in being white and male, which would be gross enough even if it weren’t completely out of date. While DiMeo certainly seemed to build himself up for the ladies, Max uses women primarily to make himself feel better by debasing them for yuks from from his “bros,” which is usually the first big sign that someone really, really likes cock but for whatever reasons, cannot be man enough to admit that to themselves. And whereas DiMeo got press in these pages and others just for being kind of cheesy, Max is actually borderline sociopathic, a kind of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho without the taste or, truth be told, balls.
Tucker Max is everything we were born to hate. We’re sorry, Anthony. Can you ever forgive us?
Viacom is just the pawn of RAND.
RAND is the source, don't be fooled.
BAN RAND!
dude what the fuck don't be stupid
viacom = darko
darko = tucker max
tucker max = viacom
leave rand out of this ok
more unfunny jokes that he included in his script (but didn't come up with on his own):
"Don't taze me, bro!"
and this was in his first script but wisely got deleted from the final version:
in the end of the movie he was going to put a sign up next to a dead cat that says "free cat".
for the unaware, this picture has been on the web for a good while:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/
pictures/view/1427/
TATGuy, we miss you.
Please grace us with your presence.
I'm thinking about Tucker, I promise!
But then again, so are you.
And thanks to Gawker, so are a whole hell of a lot of other people.
TATGUY, WHERE ARE YOU? I LONG FOR YOUR WISDOM!!!
"Wait, he REALLY thought he invented that? I thought it was just a parody!!! NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!"
Yep 6:23 Otto really though he was on the cutting edge with that shtick! What a fucking moron. Read the link in 6:15's post. Tucker really thought someone stole from him, he acts a bit flattered and then when he comes to the conclusion that he is infact the retard in the whole thing he locks the thread. In typical Otto fashion.
The guy makes Carlos Mencia who his dedicated fucksticks slam all the time look like an honest stand up comedian. Tucker is an ass, plain and simple. He hasn't had an original thought in his entire life.
Does SLF (sillylittlefreak really smell?)
My girlfriend saw SLF's mug and said he looked really creepy. I then explained some stuff about Tucker and his gang to her.Haha, she also noticed Tucker's tiny hands in that gwker pic where he's wearing the mini-skirt / shorts thing. I asked her if she would fuck him (we're open like that) and she looked at me as though I'd suggested eating her own shit. Now she wants to know what's the deal with him and why everyone hates him.
Any tips on where I should start?
Jonny cant be srs now, can he? check this out:
http://www.jontando.com/3D/satdish.jpg
in slfs world, radar dishes aren't round... welcome to 1998, dude.
"it's, like, art, bro! i used like 15 polygons for that radar dish! you would need like a voodoo 2 gfx card to run this in a game. crysis? whats that? some emo stuff i made fun of on tuckers board? hold on, my moms calling..."
HOLY FUCK!! DOES SLF REALLY STILL LIVE WITH IS MOM????? THAT MOTHERFUCKER BANNED ME FROM THE BOARD!!!!
From Tucker's inane board:
"This question is for everyone:
How often does someone get fired/kicked out/etc from a movie set, and what are the reasons? Do they not do the job well? Cell phone ringing during a shot? Smells like shit?
Thanks"
smells like shit? So I guess SOMEONE isn't allowed on set?? I can see the conversation going down:
"But Tucky, you PWOMISED I could be there, PWEEEAASE!!"
"Sorry, Jon, you, uh, NEED to moderate the message board. Besides, you smell!"
In the old script, it didn't say "Free Cat", it said "Free Pussy".
I'm thinking the question about getting kicked off the set is directed at tucker. Don't shower, Don't flush, act like an asshole to everyone, interfere with professionals doing their job ... why haven't you been kicked off set yet?
nah, they're trying to plant the story about tucker allegedly getting kicked off the set, so tucker can then claim he set up every story. dont believe the hype.
This is priceless. So, the dude who is playing Tucker did an interview with some chick who runs a Gilmore Girls fan page (and according to her blog, she is set to interview Tucker soon. Is THIS your fucking genius online marketing plan, Tucker? Doing interviews with fucking GILMORE GIRLS FAN PAGES?! If so, excuse me for a moment: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!).
Ahem. Anyway, so Tucker posted the interview on his blog, and as you can imagine, it sounds like it was written by a barely literate 14-year old (which should come as no surprise since the author runs a fucking GILMORE GIRLS FAN PAGE!). Of course, members of the RMMB start pointing out how poorly written it is, etc. JUST LIKE THEY DO ALL THE TIME! I mean, this board is famous for tearing shit apart on the internet, anything that is poorly written or deemed below their standard gets the full monty treatment.
But this time, fucking sycophant Ben Corman decides he needs to stand up for the girl who runs the fucking GILMORE GIRLS FAN PAGE! This hypocritical piece of garbage posted the following this morning:
"You fucking shitbags make my head hurt. The interview is what it is, she runs a Gilmore Girls fan site. She wanted to find out what one of the actors is up to now that he's no longer on the show.
So go ahead, tear her down. That really shows how intellectually superior you are. You're so funny and cool because you can shit all over someone running a website about a topic they enjoy. Oh! And look. She blogs about cooking gadgets. Fuck someone who blogs about something they find interesting. Fuck anyone who blogs about something you don't put your stamp of approval on.
What the fuck is wrong with you? She didn't come here pimping her site. She simply got linked because, for the moment, something she's interested in and something you're interested in happen to intersect.
You know what? Read the interview. If you don't like it, move the fuck on. Turning this thread into "look she sux, lulz" is a reflection on you, not her."
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! This is why the RMMB is a complete joke. They pick and choose and change their rules on a whim in order to protect Tucker and what I'm not convinced must be his ULTRA-FRAGILE EGO!
Maybe Corman has his panties in a wad because it's actually his sister who runs the fucking GILMORE GIRLS FAN PAGE!
Again, excuse me for a second: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Corman, you are a fucking joke. Just like Tucker and the rest of the worship-squad.
3400:
RAND CORPORATION OWNS TUCKER MAX
The mob has spoken.
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
Hey Bunny!
Everyone is starting to come over here to tell us the truth about your Rilla! How about you show up and tell us your side.
"In the old script, it didn't say "Free Cat", it said "Free Pussy". "
Oh Ok, it's not stealing the same concept from Family Guy either because they're using American Express instead of Discover.
How could I have been so off?
http://modernreverie.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/my-love-hate-relationship-with-tucker-max/
Read two posts down to TUcker's response to this email. He claims to be "working on Bunny's bookdeal".
How's that going for you Erin?
"Maybe Corman has his panties in a wad because it's actually his sister who runs the fucking GILMORE GIRLS FAN PAGE!"
out of 3000+ comments, this one has me laughing the hardest.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Try this email to send it to:
arieanna@b5media.com
this is what viacom and darko and duke law and the federal reserve want--they want to pay tucker to destroy morality so they can print money, abort your children, and take your homes:
"www.gilmoregirlsnews.com and speak to them as a "concerned parent" on why the site is promoting an R-rated movie that is written by a known mysoginist. Post a link to one of Tucker's "hilariously 100% true" stores like "The Anal Sex Story", and how your 14 year old daughter was just reading them through a link that www.gilmoregirlsnews.com just gave them. Email: info@b5media.com
Phone: (866) 652-7189
Fax: (416) 849-0347
"
viacom guy, you're funny! you should blog for rudi-ass.
Is viacom guy the marine?
I think you'll find that Viacom owns the Marines, although obviously they are all part of the umbrella corporation of RAND.
So, are the higher-ups at RAND all Jews, or are there some reptilians mixed in there, too? We need to find this out, so we can bring the REAL masterminds behind 9/11 to justice.
*rolling the eyes*
snake eyes?
http://www.midwestrealtytours.com/3109popham/
Picture of Tucker's mother on the left.
So that's where Tucker gets his manly chin from.
Tucker is also lying about his age. He was born in November 1972, not 1975 like he listed.
Don't believe me? Do a search on one of any people finders on the net. All of them listed him as being 35 and his birthday in 1972.
@6:13
I happen to know TM's birthdate, though he's definitely always played down a celebration or any acknowledgement. Maybe this is why. I've always thought I was older than him by a year, but never fully trusted that. Something has seemed off.
I won't ask for the month or date here for verification, but guy above me... what season is his birthday in? First, middle, or latter part of the month? If you can answer that, I can confirm whether 2/3 of the date you found is right.
Looks like the guy listed the season (Fall) and month (November).
I always thought he was born in 1975. Nothing surprises me about Tucker anymore.
This site is such bullshit.
What are you assholes going to do next? Criticize how Tucker cuts his steak?
Thank Christ you people will never make a work of art like Tucker.
^^^^
True, but who the fuck subscribes to the people finder thing unless for professional reasons? Or am I missing something about public record searches?
Quote:
"This site is such bullshit.
What are you assholes going to do next? Criticize how Tucker cuts his steak?
Thank Christ you people will never make a work of art like Tucker."
SLF, KFM, Corman, Benson. Your Mom is calling from upstairs. She made your 26 to 37 year old ass Franks and Beans.
Come out of the basement now. She (your Mom) might ask you to shower before you sit your hippy, pachuoli smelling rank ass at the table. After your done you can say "Good night" and return to your Mountain Dew/Red-bull & Taco Bell binge.
Tucker site has an "Advice Board" for once KFM was right with his tired (4 year old joke of) "Just drink Drano's foaming pipe snake and all you problems will be solved" That's the best advice I ever heard! If your counting on those losers for "advice" killing yourself is 10 steps above listening to Basment dwelling, going nowhere fucksticks
"Thank Christ you people will never make a work of art like Tucker."
I can only hope he is the exact opposite of serious...otherwise his grip on art is more crooked than Owen Wilson's nose.
He graduated from UC in 1998, and Duke in 2001.
here is a picture of his license (1975 dob).
Yeah, plus Wikipedia put his birthday at November 1975, so you know it has to be true.
Losers.
Wikipedia can't even get Jimbo Wales's birthdate right. Of course, he's also a douchebag who also edits his own entry. Go figure.
Tucker would never ever edit his Wikipedia profile. He simply doesn't have the time.
Do you not understand that making a movie is backbreaking work? Did you not read that Tucker almost had to grip because nobody else can do their fucking jobs correctly on his movie?
What is wrong with you people? Oh, right, you suck because you don't have one of the top ten best selling books ever to be written like Tucker has.
You'll have to excuse me. I'm still laughing my ass off at Tucker's confession on the RMMB that it was his idea to have Matt C. do the interview with the Gilmore Girls fan page.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Is this the revolutionary marketing plan you were talking about, Tucker?! Giving "exclusive" interviews with D-List actors to fan pages of TV shows that aren't even on the fucking air anymore? And a show whose fans are almost entirely too young to see a rated R movie and/or are part of a completely unrelated demographic that doesn't have any interest in your bullshit material?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I think it's safe to close this page down now. Tucker is doing all the work for us. There is nothing anyone over here can point out that is any funnier that the EPIC FUCKING FAILURE that Tucker is showcasing on his own.
Revolutionary marketing plan my ass.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hey, 9:23 P.M...
Next time, post a link for those of us who prefer to not give Otto unnecessary traffic looking for what you're talking about.
That being said, I'm off to mock Otto. Ah, the joys of sockpuppets under different IPs, and a boring Wednesday early-morning spent putting the trash out and mocking Otto in his own milieu.
It doesn't get much better than this. I'm going to go fuck with Otto, drink some beers, fuck my girlfriend, and pass out. Then I'll awake to Herbie Hancock's Headhunters, or Enigma's New Agey Bullshit, I haven't decided yet. Then I'll check this blog, because I have ample sums of money but no obligations, and start mocking Otto again.
Ah, the joys of early retirement at the tender age of 36...
@9:50: Ask and ye shall receive. Here is the post where Tucker "takes credit" for the genius idea of pimping his D-List actor to a Gilmore Girls fan page:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=700217&postcount=11
D-List? That's being kind.
After this, Matt Whocry? (total classic, thanks Anon!) will be an F-list has-been more so than he already is.
I actually feel bad for the guy. I know people who know him, and from what I hear, he's fantastic. As in Christian Bale fantastic. But this may well proove to be a career-ending move for Matt.
It's a shame to see Otto ruin so many careers in tandem. He actually, despite all odds attracted some serious talent to his little vanity project. It's just too bad that his film (or at least the script and general ethos) is the cinematic equivalent of an anal abortion.
And now they (the above-the-line talent) are all basically fucked.
Let this be a lesson... Hook your wagon to a doucebag, and thou shalt reap naught but docebaggery.
And no, I'm not corporate guy, but I am of a philosophical turn this evening.
Let us never forget:
Tucker (Otto) Macx is a doucebag.
Vive le doucebag blog!
If Tuckster ever decides to finally seek professional psychological help for his maladjusted self-image and unrealistic worldview, I feel sorry for that psychologist - he or she better be an expert in OTTO REPAIR.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Hee hee hee hee hee!
No, but seriously, I love you guys.
Matt Whocry? That's a classic.
This film won't end anybody's careers except for Tucker Max. The script was horrible, there's no getting around it. Sure it might turn out better, but it doesn't matter, you can't turn chicken shit into chicken salad.
The names aren't enough for it to gain wide distribution. He might be able to sneak it into a few independent movie theaters, but probably not enough to make a difference. He's not going to go the film festival route, so that takes a lot of luster for "indie" cinemas to take a chance on the film. He also won't be getting indie film press.
On a professional level Tucker has become toxic. Word travels fast to Hollywood, and while I think a number of stories on him were nitpicking, but weight that against all the true stories of his demeanor on the set witnessed by working professionals. There are a lot of people in Hollywood who have been "I told you so" about Tucker since the film started film production.
This will definitely set Darko back, and most likely end Tucker's career in Hollywood. Nobody is going to want to work with him, he effectively becomes Troy Duffy (only with less talent and a literary career to fall back on). He becomes a cautionary tale on "what not to do" in the entertainment industry.
One thing for sure, the reality of Tucker's failure would make a far better film than IHTSBIH.
Ian apparently didn't quit. It was all a ruse to gain free gawker publicity.
http://turningpro.net/
@5:49: What leads you to that conclusion? The latest post on Ian's blog would seem to support the story that he quit.
^^^ Everyone but the most retarded among us figured that out on day one.
Didn't you figure that out when Tucker made a desperate second post about it, or the fact that Ian didn't take down his link to Tucker?
Come on you guys.
To the person who wants us to send an email to boycott the movie, you do realize that would be exactly what Tucker wants, right?
Not only that, you assume it's bad enough to boycott. It's bad, trust me, but it's not in the way Tropic Thunder was. Tucker's movie WONT be funny, just bad. Really fucking bad.
Does anyone else think the reason there haven't been any videos or pictures on Tucker's blog in about 2 weeks is because Tucker has pretty much been banned from set?
tucker is sooooo crafty with his publicity.
he leaks fake stories about his real douchebaggery.
genius.
will viacom/darko drop tucker now that they can no longer deny vast financial backing for epic douchebaggery?
tucker was sort of funny with his stories. but once he spoke in public, that was his worst mistake. He did some interview where he was asked about what makes him interesting and he said something like "no one cares to know if I petted a dog" or some thing lie that.
Petted? Is that a word? I also found audio clips of a satelite radio show he did with two friends and it's just unlistenable. He should stick to blog stories and keep himself hidden from the public at all costs.
Best part of Otto's message board is watching these kids try to write the safest possible posts ever just so they won't get deleted. Instead of asking legit and interesting questions that would lead to healthy debate and entertainment, they write stuff like:
"Was it fun to make the movie overall?" or "Do you like pizza?"
How boring.
the funny thing is will people at viacom lose their jobs for this gross misstep?
or will they let the cancer grow and kill the stock price?
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