The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4401 – 4600 of 15917 Newer› Newest»the purpose of this blog, i have read, is to expose tucker max's douchebaggery.
tucker's darko-funded movie might just trump us in this.
i think it's awesome viacom/darko are helping the cause.
The movie ends with Tucker saying he's sorry for being a selfish asshole and then revealing that he rented a "bouncy castle" for his friend!
REV A LEW SEAN AREA
Tucker Max is a genius!
what tucker never understood is that he's working with a broken foundation. his stories where never that funny to begin with. amusing as an online time-waster, yes. "art", no.
Hahahahahaha! A bouncy castle! Oh, sweet plantation corn, that's hiLARious!! See, 'cause, like, the guy wants a BBOUNCY CASTLE at his WEDDING!! Hahahahahasadness! Who even DOES that?!?! It's like, this guy is SO zany, SO crazy, that even though he's a responsible, productive member of society, he STILL has a little KID in him who wants a BOUNCY CASTLE!!! Oh, GOODness - what a crazy, fun-loving character!
See, THAT'S what makes Tucker so special and awesome and funny. It's like, the Tucker character grows SO MUCH in this artistic film, that by the end, he discovers the true value of friendship and love and glory, and it's an epic transformation that will take the viewing audience on a journey of self-discovery - but you can bet your bottom donut that, along the way, there's going to be some INSANELY funny antics!!
OH
SWEET
LORD
TUCKER
IS
REALLY
FUNNY!!!
Someone should post a picture of Tucker to Ryan Holiday's faildogs.com.
Somebody should submit a photo of www.faildogs.com to www.failedwebsite.com.
These Rudius hacks are fucking idiots.
And you people are fucking idiots for obsessing over them.
Dammit. The world's full of fucking idiots.
How many haircuts does this pile of flawed DNA get each week?
Is he in boot camp?
I can't decide if I liked Bunny's book or Paul Wall's book better. They were both great reads, but I think maybe I liked Tucker's new book best of all.
I'll reread them tonight after I watch Tucker's show on Comedy Central.
q: why is it that nobody thinks that kevin smith is a douchebag while practically anyone who is not on tucker's payroll thinks that tucker is a douchebag?
a: because tucker is a douchebag, and kevin smith is not.
funny = owen wislon
funny = ben stiller
funny = judd apataow
funny = seth rogen
funny = vince vaugahn
funny = will ferrell
douche = tucker max
douche = bob gosse
douchess = kerri lynn pratt
douche = bunny
douche = jamie bradford
douchesky = matt czursky
douchesky = matt douchesky
fatass = nils parker
So I went to Tucker's movie blog. Did I read it correctly? Did he admit that the rough cut of his own movie sucked? Who is he taking a stab at by saying that? if he thinks the movie sucks just imagine how bad it really is.
Not so sure why your guys posting here are jealous of Tucker Max. Face it, the guy took risks in his life that you don’t have the balls to do.
He spent three years in Law school and doesn’t even practice law. He never even passed the bar. That’s not only smart and logical, it’s also very gutsy.
He wrote stories on a website about illegally filming anal sex in the dark. He even had a buddy hide in a closet to film the whole event. All 100% true and proven! Top that assholes.
He drove a car into a donut shop. Not near it. Not next to it. INSIDE IT. Repeat, he drove a car through a wall of a commercial establishment and ran over tables.
He had the courage to tell two of the most powerful people in Hollywood to fuck off. Let’s see any of you do that.
He hates Mexicans.
He has shit in his own pants.
He admits to probably having sex with men. Read his own site.
He did a show on satellite radio with two other guys. He told true stories and said fuck like 1,000 times. All with a high-pitched lisp. Let’s see any of you do that. Did the satellite company ask for a follow up show? No fucking way. He hit the ball out of the park the first time. Only losers look backwards.
The man drank Red Bull when it wasn’t even available in the United States.
He appeared on a news show and said that he “petted” a dog. Whatever the fuck that means. He said it. I think that is true. Nice language skills lawyer bookworm.
He got literally slaughtered by an online blog called Gawker. I’m talking 100% ass-whipped. They played him like a flute and yet he survived. Even after they ignored him.
He has been exposed for posting fake reviews of his own books and having his low self-esteemed slaves spend 24/7 editing his wikipedia page and yet he still stands strong.
Well, he’s not actually standing. He hurt his knee trying to become a MMA fighter so that he could try and pin another man down on the ground while their crotches rubbed together. MMA is hard. But at least Tucker tried.
The dude got kicked off his own film set for 48 hours. Let’s see any of you try that.
Tucker turned down a $10,000,000 plus offer for his script? Think I’m lying? It’s on his site. $10,000,000 just for the script. Want a link?
Tucker created one of the most powerful online media communities called Rudius Media. It was a very creative and original idea. Ask the other hundred sites that did this before he did it and they will explain it better. Some of his Rudius employee made upwards to fifty to sixty dollars for six months work.
I am so sick and tired of beating the shit out of you anti-Tucker fans. You’re all just afraid of Tucker and the people we associate with.
Two last thoughts for you pussies.
The girl who carved a backwards B in her own face and blamed it on a black Obama mugger had Tucker as her top friend on her myspace page. Oh yeah, some other guy who snuck in a fraternity and raped a girl had Tucker as his hero on his myspace page. Want links? Let’s see anyone of you losers pull that off.
Also, Tucker recently stated that he read a 200+ page book written for teenagers when he was four years old AND almost a decade before the book (Hatchet) was published. It’s on his own side, fags!
Keep thinking about Tucker.
^TATguy, tell me that's not really you.
No, Kevin Smith IS a douche. It's just that we let him get away with it because Clerks was funny.
"He drove a car into a donut shop. Not near it. Not next to it. INSIDE IT. Repeat, he drove a car through a wall of a commercial establishment and ran over tables."
This is the best part of what is the best post in days.
wait, did bunny have her book truly published?? i can't see it anywhere.
oh well, at least i fucked her sister.
in the ass.
many times.
^^^ Yeah, dude, her book is out, and it's changing literature for the better.
Paul Wall's book is out, too, and it's revolutionizing the way forwards are written for books.
And, of course, Tucker's new book is out, and it's at the top of the bestseller list.
JUST
LIKE
TUCKER
PROMISED.
Bunny’s book was actually published and I will admit that is much better than I had expected. I’m not a huge fan of her Blog, yet the book is well written and pretty clever.
I think what surprised me the most was the brutal honesty in her work. If something is told from the heart, no matter how painful, the truthfulness of it keeps it above the rest of the crap that people often pass off as literature. I think that’s why both she and Tucker have done so well as writers. Honesty always wins out in the end.
I agree, Bunny's book is fucking amazing. I remember reading it back when I was 5 or 6 - she'd given me an advance advance advance rough cut edition, and to say it blew my socks off would be an insult to it. It literally caused my socks to become animate objects driven by dark sentient forces from another dimension, and they removed themselves from my feet with such force that my testicles were caught in the backdraft and they got bruised.
It was that good.
Bunny's book was okay. I thought it was a little long in places - did anyone else think the foreword, written by Tucker Max, ran a bit long?-, and I was hoping for more closure at the end, but it was still a compelling read.
Anonymous said...
^TATguy, tell me that's not really you.
10/31/2008 3:55 PM
Clearly the comment lacked my signature style, but I wouldn't dissuade anyone from using the slogan, "Think About Tucker" as an tag to their comment. They should be aware however that it really has outplayed its usefulness, since at this point most of you have little choice but to Think About Tucker. Its become unnecessary to persuade or remind you to do so.
- TAT
The dozen or so people that visit tnis obscure website do think about Tucker. That's why we come here. But it's WHAT we think of Tucker that you're not factoring in to the equation.
Tucker is now stating that Troy Duffy stole his idea for documenting a film's production.
If there were a court where people were judged for their ability to bullshit, Tucker wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Oh wait. He has one leg to stand on. The other he broke. All by himself. Genius.
Sorry, Tucker, but I'm going for jog and then I will walk a few places. And then I will 'shake both legs in the air like I just don't care.'
Now go sit on your couch, bitch. I'll be walking, and of course, thinking about you. And your couch. And your leg. As I walk.
Sorrry about how badly the film turned out. When things don't work out for me I just stand up and do jumping jacks. Too bad. You can't do that. Because you screwed up your leg.
Now I'm off to decide which pair of pants to wear, before I go walking. My legs rule.
Keep thinking about Tucker and his bad rough cut.
Luckily he doesn't read this site.
Taint guy here. Neither of the above were me. I've been too busy thinking about tucker to post here. Also, I discovered how awesome it feels to shove a shampoo bottle up my ass when I'm having tucker max masturbation fantasies (which is easily 5-6 hours per day). I prefer a family size shampoo bottle, but according to bunny and ryan, you should use one of those complimentary hotel shampoo bottles for a true tucker max experience.
Think about Tucker.
I was watching an episode of Entourage the other night on HBO. The show has its moments. My personal peeve is that the characters of Turtle and Johnny Drama are one-dimensional and predictable. I get bored when they’re onscreen. I do however like the Ari and Vince even if I don’t understand how Vince makes Ari a dime in commissions lately. Maybe I missed a few episodes.
What I liked about this episode was the way it ended. Ari was offered the job as a head of a movie studio after his arch enemy died of a heart attack on the golf course after yelling art Ari, while Vince secured a private jet to take his best friends on a free trip with supermodels. Actually the whole models thing bores me but it goes with the materialistic Hollywood theme and shallow Turtle and Johnny Drama character bios.
By a twist of fate, both Ari and Vince were invited to take private jets to celebrate their separate victories; Ari was off to Geneva with the owner of the movie studio, while Vince and his gang and their models were off to some photo shoot.
At the airport Ari runs into Vince. Their private jets are side by side in a hangar. Ari runs over to Vince and tells him ‘look you’re the only person who knows this. I’ve been offered the job as studio head. I can get you into any movie you want.’ Vince is excited, but realizes very quickly that Ari will no longer be his agent and probably be out of his life. Ari seems to realize the same, and wonders if he’s making a mistake. It’s a very simple and well acted scene by two talented actors. When Vince says ‘I was kind of hoping we’d finish what we started’ but whatever make you happy. Lines are not verbatim, sorry. They hug and part ways and board separate planes.
And then I noticed one of the most beautiful and emotionally songs ever playing over this scene. It was Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead. Ari and Vince were parting ways, literally. And the things; these ‘dreams’ they were chasing were nothing more that those fake plastic trees. They look like the real thing. Sometimes feel like the real thing.
It occurred to me at that point that a simple yet amazing song and a few key edits, combined with two great actors, a killer visual shot, had won my heart over.
After reading Tucker’s take of his rough cut I figured maybe the people in charge could save this movie. I know Tucker is pretty much out of the picture as this is Bob Gosse’s film from here on out, But if the final scene of Tucker’s movie is a lame wedding speech which has been done 347 times followed by a bouncy castle with a flat and emotionless rap song playing over credits.. Well, sorry.
Tucker, fight to the end till this movie is what you know it can be. Don’t lose your vision.
“Law 5 -- So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life”
Robert
"But it's WHAT we think of Tucker that you're not factoring in to the equation."
Its not factored in because it doesn't matter. It's not the "what", its the "how often". The goal is time, your time, your energy, your life. The more of it is used, the better, whether its in hatred or adoration is of no consequence.
So says I, the "biggest sadsack" and "eternal hypocrite".
TAT
"Its not factored in because it doesn't matter. It's not the "what", its the "how often". The goal is time, your time, your energy, your life. The more of it is used, the better, whether its in hatred or adoration is of no consequence."
It doesn't really take much time, energy or even life to do. Plus it's easy to do. Like farting into your had palmed hand and thena quickly smelling it. You've done it. We've done it. It takes seconds.
Move on.
Take some more pills.
Stop being angry at Nils for leaving you behind.
Keep thinking about Tucker.
He often stands in your mirror.
^ Now thats a rationalization we can all LIVE with!!!
fighting evil is never a waste of time, but for the soulless, effeminate man--the kind of man tucker attracts.
look at bob gosse.
look at matt czursky.
look at tucker.
girly douchebags all. tiny little hands, wide hips, and narrow shoulders. where's that one picture of tucker wearing those shorts/dress? wide hips and narrow shoulders--a sure sign his estrogen runs high.
this explains why tucker -- viacom's greatest hero and paragaon of the new feminized manhood -- is a narrow-shouldered, tiny handed being with no soul nor conscience, unlike classic, epic men like jack london:
http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Publications/10-Key/10key1.html
"Tocqueville visited America in the 1830s which was long before women voted and wrote that America was great because its women were great. He concludes his book by saying that because American women are truly feminine, America is prospering: "As for myself, I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: to the superiority of their women." He said America is great because of"the superiority of its women" who live traditional roles. Feminists write endless books and give countless speeches saying everything is so much better today because women have given up"extreme dependence." They believe that they can make it just fine without a man, even if they have children, and America is better for it.
He warned America that if it was seduced by feminism then America would decline and the men would become"weak" and women would become"disorderly." Father often uses the word"order." He has come to bring order to this disorderly world. He constantly says women are out of order. Tocqueville's Democracy in America is a classic for good reason. "
--http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Publications/10-Key/10key1.html
viacom guy is a pretty cool guy. eh posts irrelevant bullshit and doesn't afraid of anything.
tucker max is a pretty cool guy. eh makes up fake stories and doesn't afraid of anything.
kungfu mike is a pretty cool guy. eh invents fake insults and doesn't afraid of anything.
sillylittlefreak is a pretty cool guy. eh invents computers gamesies and doesn't afraid of anything.
TUCKER DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING, BIZZNAZZNOZZNITCHITCHES!
Seriously, he doesn't afraid of ANYthing! ANYthing!
I don't care WHAT it is, he doesn't afraid of it.
Afraiding of things is not something Tucker Max does.
"Afraiding of things is not something Tucker Max does."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This is a wonderful piece of comedic gold, and I wish we could make it enter the popular lexicon minus any attachment to Otto.
what happens when douchetardery goes out of style?
will viacom drop tucker like it's hot?
drop it like it's hot?
drop it like it's hot?
drop it like it's hot?
drop it like it's hot?
Snoooooooooooooooo--------oooooooooooppppppp
It already has, we're just watching as Otto comes to that realization.
The latest dust-up in that "Yes, Traci Lords is in the movie" thread goes to show how insanely delusional and idiotic Tucker is.
Tucker is probably drinking himself into a stupor now that he has seen his goal materialized, and realized that it sucks.
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Tucker_Max
This site brings the lulz
Holy Motherfucking Shit,
Tucker thinks Tucker's movie isn't very good!?!? Well fuck you bitch, it doesn't have to be good, I'll watch watever comes out of that sonofabitch, whethere that be words, semen or big words that aren't even invented yet like "afraiding".
Motherfucker, he just invented a word! Who gives a fuck whether or not his movie totally sucks, I mean why would Tucker Max give a shit about what Tucker Max thinks? I mean its not like Tucker Max told everybody that he made all the creative decishuns on his movie even though he was locked out of his own film because the people in charge thought he was a loose cannon with the temperment of a spoiled 7 year old child with major daddy issues. I mean... Okay, maybe that's what happened, but fuck you, did you invent a word? No, you didn't you fag.
I'm going to have to do a shot, but I am afraiding of become a drunken hack whose time is about to run out.
Tucker keeps going off on how he's taking risks and pursuing his dreams. He's an idiot. Failing at making a movie isn't impressive. Anybody can fail at anything, it's nothing to brag about. If you or I don't attempt to make movies, it's because we're smart enough to know that we'd fail. He's not better than us for failing; he's worse.
^ Actually I did invent a word, or actually no, didn't invent a word but I did decide I was gonna use the word "strict" to mean like really good or strong or like harsh or something. My friend was like, "Hey is that Appleton rum any good?" and I was like, "It has a great flavor and the afterbite is fucking strict." And then later someone else present used strict in a sense that meant really good but I don't remember the context. Anyway, its gonna catch on.
also I'm drunk
on appleton rum
One of my favorite things about Tucker is how he's really awesome and successful, and also incredibly, side-splittingly funny, and it's really awesome about how smart and successful he is.
Like, this blog he did about the rough cut of his movie is a GREAT example of that. You see, he cares SO MUCH, and he's SO invested in his beautiful, profound art, that HE can't look at the rough cut of his movie objectively! I don't even know what words like 'profound' and 'objectively' MEAN, yo! And, it's like, I'm thinking, "Holy laser gum wagons, that's intelligent-smart-talkin'!!" See, Tucker's such a deep artist that he's totally exploring this new side of his psyche that's all, like, introspective and awesome and stuff.
But the really AMAZING thing about all of this is that, even in the midst of self-reflection, Tucker STILL manages to be really, really funny and revolutionary!! It's like, he's a high-functioning narcissist, so even though he's TOTALLY self-centered (who's even self-centered anymore?!?! And who talks like that's just the way they are?!?!? I'm-a-gonna tell you who, Jimmy: TUCKER MAX!!! Hahahahahahahahamysoulhurts!!), he STILL has a totally unskewed and balanced worldview! HOLY LEOPARD-SPOTTED-CONDOMS, THAT'S AWESOME!!
Tucker invented a new genre: Comedy without humor
FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY!!!!!!!
^ wow
Do you think the American Pie people sit around thinking about how they revolutionized comedy and created great art? Does anyone actually think that movie is great, timeless, beautiful art?
'Slackers'?
'Road Trip'?
Only in Tucker's world does making a retarded, drunk-buddy-frat-whatever, lowbrow, scatalogically-driven, sexually explicit movie constitute great art.
You can't blame him, though - the only alternative is to actually accept that he's lived a wasted life, and we all know he isn't going to do that.
so tucker thinks his movie sucks.
because he has no introspectin, nor conscience, nor self-awareness, he had to spend millions of dollars to find out what everyone could see all along.
he is a douchebag.
it's hilarious that he never relaized it until he saw it on the silver screen.
now this would make an interesting film--a douchebag thinks he is a great artist, all the way until he sees nothing but douchebaggery in his magnum opus. that night he drives into a donut shop, but no police record is ever found.
tucker max is a pretty cool guy. eh drives into donut shops and doesn't afraid of anything.
Cloud Starchaser is a pretty cool guy. eh kicks KFM's ass and doesn't afraid of anything.
What happened to cloud, did he go back into retirement/lock-down?
He, marine guy, and viacom guy, would be a great super hero squade - Champions Doesn't Afraid of Douchebags.
Originally Posted by pf05 View Post
Tucker, I think there's a little foot-in-mouth action going on here. Personally, the information I've picked up from your past couple of posts are "I think my movie sucks...to clarify, SO FAR!" and "be excited, because we have a washed up, D-list, 40 year old pornstar in the movie."
If the first cut sucked, you should have kept quiet about it until it had improved on the second or third cut. e.g. "The first cut blew, my expectations were too high, but oh man guys, I just saw the second cut, and it's FREGGIN AWESOME!" By announcing on your blog that you were going to see the first cut before you saw it, you painted yourself into a corner where you would have to either lie or dampen the public's enthusiasm for the movie if you came out of it not liking what you saw. And the whole point of the blog is to build enthusiasm for your movie.
Thats why you work in a call center, and I am Otto Tucker Max. Because you operate in one week time periods and think PR is supposed to all sunshine and roses, because you think lying to people is advertising, because you think people will only respond to bland puffery. I have been authentic and honest as I could be since the day I started writing, and it has always worked out. Because of that, when I tell a real fan something, they understand that I believe it. I don't operate on your "just pay attention to whats in front of me" time scale, I play for the ling term and the big win, which is another reason why I have lots of difficult long term projects that pan out, and you just make another beer run when you get bored.
And if you think I put the post about Traci up because of the post before it, you are just an old fashioned idiot. That post went up because over the past week, when all the press for Zack and Miri Make A Porno came out, Traci did a bunch of interviews and, like I linked in the post, mentioned that she had done my movie. I got a bunch of email from people asking if this was true, so I posted confirming it. Contrary to what you believe, the world extends beyond what you know or understand of it, and just because you can't figure out the reason for something, doesn't mean there isn't one.
The only part that is truly sad, is that when its all said and done and this movie is a huge hit, none of these people will come back to admit they were wrong or apologize or anything like that. They'll either completely disappear, or find something else to bitch and moan about, pretending like their passive-aggressiveness or their active rooting against me or other bullshit never happened. That's exactly what happened with the book, and will happen with the movie too.
Your post is like that movie about crackpot 9/11 conspiracy theories, Loose Change. Without any understanding of the issues, it might seem somewhat reasonable, and it requires a lot of effort to adequately answer, but in the end, its completely wrong. Everything about it, and in multiple, contradictory ways. How many times can you contradict yourself and argue in circles in one post?
Your position is that I should lie to my fans and withhold information?
Your argument is that because I didn't like a rough cut, no one will buy a ticket?
Your argument is because I disagree with a passive-aggressive fuck who is rooting against me, I have an ego?
Your argument is that because I contest ridiculous claims, I think I can't be wrong?
Do I really even need to refute these idiotic statements? Your positions are not only wrong, they are stupid. This isn't me belittling you; it's just you being wrong.
Let me clear about this, so you can plan your future around it:
I am always going to do everything I can to be as honest as I can with everything in my life. I won't always succeed, but I will always make that my goal. Sometimes, that means I will say things that aren't in my immediate best interest. Such is truth--it's not always pretty. Life doesn't always work the way you want it to. If you don't like that, or can't handle that, fine, you don't have to be here, or support me. Go support liars who blow sunshine up your ass and tell you what you want to hear. People like Scientologists are always recruiting.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by suapyg View Post
I wouldn't "flame" you because you disagree with Tucker - hell, I don't agree with Tucker on everything - but I would flame you because you make a totally short sighted and unintelligent argument.
I literally just got home from having dinner with a CEO of a 600 million dollar company, and we had a conversation about honesty and disclosure over dinner. We talked about how many companies are closing entire departments or laying off bunches of workers, and not saying anything, or pretending that nothing is happening, and leaving their employees and their investors in the dark.
And we talked about how damned foolish that is. Standing up in front of your employees and your investors and saying, "things are not what we want them to be. We will keep you appraised as we attempt to improve them. The truth is, no one knows if the worst is over," is a thousand times wiser. People respect you for it, they know that they're not being bullshitted when you give them good news, and they know that you will treat them with dignity and respect them enough to tell them where they stand. And they won't be filling the internet and the hallways of your company with conjecture and fear.
Unless they're you, apparently.
You're wrong. Not because you disagree with Tucker, but because you don't understand how people work, and how to be forthright and open without playing games.
Honey, this is nice, but don't bother. He's a guido from Staten Island, and he's like twelve years old. Daddy says never show weakness, so he doesn't. Enjoy the alcoholism.
Focus: I once watched a legit copy of a Traci Lords, too young for porno, porno. That girl could really suck a dick for 16. Very impressive.
__________________
(\ /)
( . .)
((")(")
^^^It takes a real artist to type that many words without actually communicating any useful information.
So much for Otto's "I'm a humble artist deeply evaluating my soul posts."
An bunny is still a tool who'd eat tucker's turds while he fucked horse face beth.
Tucker says:
"Like I keep telling you, it's three dimensional chess with multiple moving pieces, and each one affects the other."
Yeah, right. Because being a world-class film producer is more complicated and difficult than being a world-class chess player. Fucking moron.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=735705&postcount=4
ROFL fucking moron. Bunny is so dumb.
^ Wow, that's funny, cause Bunny is telling that guy that he's not thinking for himself, when really he's doing what HE wants instead of what OTHER PEOPLE want him to do. Bunny isn't very smart, is she?
Don't you know, everything is always your parents fault. Don't drink? Parents fault. Raging alcoholic who willingly plays punching back for a sociopath? Parents fault. It's like you guys don't know how stuff works or something. God.
Tuckster Mac is a brand.
Holy Motherfucking Shit!!
Wait, so the movie Tucker (the douchey insecure one who suddenly changed places with awesome Tucker) thinks sucks is the same one he had been saying is "revolutionary" and "one of the best comedies in the last 20 years"?
In the immortal words of Vinnie Barbarino:
"I'm so confused!"
I hate you douchey insecure Tucker, you piss on my brain. Turn back into rapey, fratey Tucker soon. I need something to jerk off to.
what tucker has been leaving out in his recent posts is that he is a towering douchebag who owes every douche-dripping penny to his douchetastic actions and complete lack of art.
and soon the world will see the blockbuster (meaning it will be in the DVD bargain bin of blockbuster) on the silver screen of their home tv.
you retards realize a huge portion of his fanbase is military, and they have an entire board part full of special forces and marines and men from every other service branch as well, right?
Oh, no... Tucker's opening the truth-gates now, you guys... he's going to put every lie and half-truth to rest, and finally prove once and for all that he's a great artist who creates beautiful, meaningful, profound art for the ages. Your days are numbered.
^ Dude, fuck the military. Military people are a special kind of retarded. As Tucker's fanbase so well proves.
I LOVE the thread "debunking" the Tucker myths. First, Tucker asks everyone to freely ask the questions that bother them/they've heard before. He promises answers. Then basically evades them entirely, refusing to answer them and instead attacking the questioner or promising answers "later" in his forthcoming book. As an added bonus, no linking to this site is allowed and Bunny and SLF delete a bunch of questions so no one can read them or generally kill the messenger.
It's typical Tucker. A promise to be "completely honest" followed by evasion and a fixation on issues tangential to the question at hand, coupled with vague promises for telling the whole story at some indeterminate point in the future.
what thread is this?
Military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy. ~~ Henry Kissinger
Tucker has found an appropriate fan base.
I love it. I love it. I love it.
He opened this thread and HAS NOT FUCKING ANSWERED A SINGLE QUESTION. He's either mocking people or totally evading it.
And for the hundred millionth time, Freak Safari was not started because of the TMMB. Rob happened to open it the day that the mods decided to chase off a bunch of popular members. Those members liked each other and congregated on that board.
"But as my site and audience grew, and I became more famous, I somehow went from a normal dude who posted funny stories to this mini-media personality that some people saw as an elaborately constructed fake persona designed to capitalize on the fratire trend (of course, the fact that when I started, fratire didn't exist, never occurred to these idiots)."
No, Tucker. We are not saying that you have constructed a fake persona. We are saying, simply, that you are a doucebag.
The mighty 'fratire' genre. You know, the one that SO many writers are flocking to, that's just burning up the pages of literature periodicals and changing great artwork as we know it.
'Fratire' - a brand new way to say nothing.
somebody needs to ask him, point blank, if he was ever in the army. he completely dodged the hooah question. in fact, he completely dodged every question. what a puss.
Why can't you people just accept that Tucker is TOTALLY AWESOME ALL THE TIME?!?!?!?
That he's REALLY smart?
And REALLY funny?
And REALLY revolutionary in every way?
He's SO COOL!
Why can't you just accept it? He doesn't afraid of ANYTHING, and that's the way it's going to stay.
THE DOUCHEBAGS ARE COMING! THE DOUCHEBAGS ARE COMING!
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=736476#post736476
Pretty funny to see how Tucker deals with an intelligent addition to his message board.
Douchebag Tucker Max writes,
"[EDIT: Now, certain things are private (like where I live), and certain questions I won't answer (for example, anything about my current girlfriend) but even then, I will at least tell you that I am not discussing it and why (because she's not part of my public life and that relationship isn't relevant to anything outside of me and her). This shouldn't be about asking me shit like that anyway--it should be about all the negative and false gossip spread about me.]"
Wasn't there a beauty queen who tucker destroyed by recounting most-private acts with her?
Tucker wasn't a part of her public life, nor were her private actions, until he made it that way--classic, conscienceless douchebag. Make money via hype, douchebaggery to others, and debauchery and then claim a douche-free soul graced with moral santicty.
Ha ha ha aha haah ha!
He built his entire career because viacom et al. funded him to talk about private acts with private people. Without his destruction/desecration of other people/things/marriages, via the use and abuse of their private property like driving into donut shops, he would be nowhere.
hahahaha ha ha
And I love how he keeps it a secret where he lives, with kungfu mike and ryan holliday.
I wonder if Churchsky or the rest of the cast or crew ever talk to him if they're not on the darko/viacom clock/cock.
viacom guy is a pretty cool guy. eh posts irrelevant bullshit and doesn't afraid of anything.
Although he's spot on the money with the beauty queen criticism.
Tucker calls everyone that he doesn't like "passive-aggressive." The fuckwit doesn't even know what passive-aggressive means.
you don't get it. you really just don't get it. passive aggressive idiot! -tucker max, squirming and unable to respond intelligently to valid questions/criticisms
LOL:
My memory's really hazy on this one, so please bear with me.
There is a guy who's banned from this message board, and I think his most recent reappearance revolved around him pretending to be a fan boy and trying to start a cult around you, before you found out it was him again. Handle was something to the effect of Cosmic star puncher? I could be very far off, I'm hoping the events I'm describing will remind you of the person I'm trying to talk about.
I remember youtubing "Tucker Max" when I first found this website, and I found a video of this guy supposedly fighting someone from this message board. Does this ring any bells?
Who is this guy, what happened with him, and why does the board take a ban-on-sight forbidden-topic stance on him?
Could you all do something for me? Could you please start to slip the phrase "doesn't afraid of anything" into your everyday parlance? I really, really want to be able to use that phrase IRL because it is the embodiment of LOL!
Could you all do something for me? Could you please start to slip the phrase "Tucker Mac is a healthy, successful human being" into your everyday parlance? I really, really want to be able to use that phrase IRL because it is the embodiment of LOL!
In less than 32 hours, Tucker closed the "Debunking" thread.
He didn't debunk a thing.
well, bunny-hunny basically admits that she reads this site. not everybody hates you, bunny, i think you're cool. support the bunny fellas!!
by shutting down the thread, tucker debunked the myth that he isn't afraidng of anything.
what would be awesome is an open thread "am i a douchebag?"
check this out:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
this picture belongs on that site!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/2953195220/sizes/l/
although she's more skanky than hot.
she's dating a producer now, who will land her parts in future movies penned by fatass nihls.
so much funny, and tucker ignores it all.
Awesome--amazon.com is allowing honest reviews to go through.
Tucker sure has his work cut out for him in debunking his supreme douchebaggery. I doubt Jeff Bezos of amazon.com is going to help him much longer. What's in it for Jeff and amazon to keep deleting honest reviews?
"Are you kidding?, November 3, 2008
By bubba12 "bubba12" (Fairport, NY United States) - See all my reviews
I wish I read more reviews before I bought this book.
The writing reminds me of standing arount in the basement of a fraternity listening to a drunk alumni reliving his glory years.
The sad part is that there are pathetic losers out there worshipping Tucker, aspiring to be like him.
He and his book are a train wreck.
Can someone tell me how to take a book off my Kindle? Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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worst read ever, November 1, 2008
By Rahul Biswas "rahul425" (Menlo Park, California) - See all my reviews
After reading the first two pages I decided to stop torturing my mind with such inane, stupid and meaningless stuff. This book is a TOTAL TRASH! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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Yawn. College again?, October 29, 2008
By sandy ay go "Sandy" (San Diego, CA) - See all my reviews
Ok, the book looked interesting, I had seven hours of air travel ahead, what the heck?
Flight takes off, so I begin reading the first chapter. ok, not so bad. Makes me even a little excited thinking about my pre-married with children days, and I am on my way to Vegas to boot! Perfect combination, at least until I got a couple of chapters into the book and realized that it sucked. it was poorly written, not at all riveting, and not original or thought provoking. By less than a quarter into the book, I started rooting against Max, hoping that he would pass out from doing 20-something shots and split his head open. I hoped he would get crabs. I wanted to read about the girl he knocked up. But except for one joke from a pissed off former girlfriend, none of that ever came to pass. Bummer.
Like previous posters said, if I want to hear stories about drunken boys getting laid I will hang out with my old school buddies, people I care about. Tucker, I just never cared about you or the shameless way you treated everyone around you. Good luck with your book in a few years called, "I Hope They Prescribe Rogain in Hell". Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
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http://www.amazon.com/review/product/0806527285/ref=cm_cr_dp_synop?%5Fencoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
If his goal was to finally project the impression that he's open to any and all questions, FAIL. He closed the thread less than an hour and a half after the last poster because 'nobody's posting anything new.' Tucker, dude, it's not like you have to pay a bigger bill if the thread stays open, buddy.
And how 'bout Bunny?:
"Dear God. I'm so tired of this shit, that stupid list, etc. I wish I were a stronger person, but truth be told, I have read just about everything every troll has written about me on the Internet, and I cried a lot. Anyone can see I still speak to and am on good terms with Tucker, but in the interest of making my once-a-year, Tucker and Me myth busting post, I'll regurgitate what I told Neel:
Tucker has some problems, obviously, and he can be a dick. He can be thoughtless, hyper-controlling and, at times, full-on cruel. I've experienced this more than anyone, I think, for two reasons: 1) I am super good at self-hatred, and 2) See immediately below.
Tucker can also be incredibly supportive. No one believes in me, motivates, or inspires me as much as he does, and that shit is priceless. Tell me how many people you've got like that in your life. If you say more than one, you're lying. People who go out into the world and attack it the way he does are really rare, and I'm lucky to have befriended one of them.
Caring for him is an awful endeavor. Very push-pull. Very hot and cold. It hurts and it sucks--and it is best done as I do it now, from hundreds of miles away, occasionally calling to make sure he's okay--but I harbor no doubts that had I not met him all those years ago in fucking Florida, I'd still be in fucking Florida, an alcoholic loser, a shitty writer, hopelessly mired in ennui and looking forward to fulfilling my destiny as "youngest" from a family in which "youngest" kills themselves between 35 and 40. "Youngest" isn't supposed to heal, and by God, some days, I wake up happy, chipper, hopeful even. Can Tucker be credited with that? Probably not; he didn't do the work, but he played an important part as a motivator. As you can imagine, I am grateful.
So there. That's that, and stuff. And I am not ugly, for fuck's sake. I'm cute, but I'm also not real sure what being beautiful has to do with being a good writer. I imagine it's important if you want to be a model or a trophy wife, but that's most assuredly not my path."
Wow.
WWWOOOWWW.
Bunny! Girl, are you able to re-read something you've written objectively? Can you honestly not see the sickness in what you've written?
Do you want to know one of the main reasons I love my wife, and she loves me? Because I'm NOT "cruel", and neither is she. Because if I was ever "thoughtless, hyper-controlling, and full-on cruel" to her, it wouldn't matter HOW much of the time I WASN'T those things. EVERYONE'S capable of being "not cruel" sometimes, Bunny, but when a person demonstrates that they are willing to be CRUEL (for cruelty is never an accident, but always a deliberate action), they have shown the real in themselves. SUCH A PERSON IS NOT WORTH DEFENDING.
From Bunny:
but I harbor no doubts that had I not met him all those years ago in fucking Florida, I'd still be in fucking Florida, an alcoholic loser, a shitty writer, hopelessly mired in ennui and looking forward to fulfilling my destiny as "youngest" from a family in which "youngest" kills themselves between 35 and 40. "Youngest" isn't supposed to heal, and by God, some days, I wake up happy, chipper, hopeful even. Can Tucker be credited with that? Probably not; he didn't do the work, but he played an important part as a motivator. As you can imagine, I am grateful.
Oh yes, Bunny, so much has changed for you. Let's recount, you're still an alcoholic; you're still, at best, a mediocre writer; you have no independent sense of self worth; you've become cruel, vindictive and mean to anyone who challenges your poor, precious Tucker, and thus you; and your "career" has gone nowhere. But you're no longer in Florida, so clearly Tucker's motivation has been a rousing success.
One more nugget from delusion-mc-cuntstick:
And I am not ugly, for fuck's sake. I'm cute, but I'm also not real sure what being beautiful has to do with being a good writer.
You are absolutely right. The fact that you look like a busted tranny who is twice the man Tucker is has absolutely no bearing on your writing. Your writing is atrocious for reasons completely independent of your mannish facade. Your outward ugliness, however, does make it easier to judge your writing ability for the completely superficial reason that your book can be completely, and accurately, judged by its cover.
My favourite part is that someone was asking if you really REALLY can treat women as shitty as Tucker does in his stories and still have them stick to you.
And then Bunny posts that.
At least there's one thing Tucker is telling the truth about.
"...by God, some days, I wake up happy, chipper, hopeful even."
Good Lord. What kind of delusional nightmare is your life that this is a statement that's supposed to demonstrate that a guy DIDN'T screw you up? "Some days, I even get to be happy!" That's truly chilling.
Her whole post reads like a battered wife trying to justify why she keeps taking up for, and protecting, her abuser. It would be sad if these people didn't act so self-righteous and condescending, and thus deserve their misery.
How Tucker can read what she wrote and look himself in the mirror is beyond me. How he can expect that the public is going to love him and his vapid 'art,' is even further beyond me.
how can tucker debunk his douchebaggery by acting like a douchebag in his debunking douchebaggery thread?
and awesome, "check this out:
http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
this picture belongs on that site!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudiusmedia/2953195220/sizes/l/
although she's more skanky than hot."
LA is filled with rich, successful, good-looking men.
but skanks have to settle for douchebags, just like d-list actors and directors.
What's amazing is that Tucker doesn't refute Bunny's claim. He's never refuted anyone's assertion that he has problems and issues - he's probably even admitted that he does. What he doesn't seem to care about is that whatever those problems are, they have an effect on people like they did to Bunny. No, Tucker, you're not responsible for other people in the sense that you're supposed to fix their problems for them. But you ARE responsible for other people in the sense that you're responsible for how you affect them. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, hurting people the way you do, and parading around, saying 'oh, it's because I'm a narcissist', peddling your past around in short-story servings like it's funny that you did all this terrible stuff, trying to get rich off of it and never once, taking a step backward and considering that, perhaps instead of trying to be famous, you should actually be DEALING with your 'problems and issues.' If someone told me I was full-on cruel, and celebrated days they were able to wake up happy, I'd be sick.
Catharsis is not healing, and what you do is not art. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
i always thought tucker was a douche.
just found you guys.
douchebaggery is the enemy of all.
for now we must remain anonymous,as someone pointed out, as viacom has money to pay interns to harass us for saying suckagesucks, but we will never forget.
Here's three "debunking" questions for you Tucker:
1) Was your first draft of AFF rejected by your publisher because it was of insufficient quality?
2) Did you call Jamie Tarses a "fucking cunt" to her face?
3) Were you removed from the editing room of your own movie?
Nice juicy rumors in simple question format for "yes" or "no" answers. I didn't bother to ask these on your site because I don't expect truth from you... banning maybe; derisive name calling, propbably; misdirection and subject changing, absolutely.
*****
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=736427&postcount=90
TM: "Yeah. Threads like this always do this, because generally speaking, they are self selecting. The smart people have already found the answers to their questions (because I've already answered pretty much everything in this thread, just not in one place), so they don't ask them again. The dumb people are, well, dumb.
But there are enough good questions here to make it worthwhile dealing with the dumbshits."
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=20941&highlight=spike+lee
TM: "That just makes no fucking sense to me. Why would you be a dick to people who support you? Stupid."
*****
Smart people have already found the answer to their questions. They see the contradiction in your behavior. Your personality is fluid, depending upon your audience. I know you were inferring that smart people "get it", and didn't bother to question you on your debunking thread. Truth is, the people who "get it" don't bother questioning you because you're an unreliable witness to your own life. What you say can't be trusted, because you're not consistent.
We're not all Bunny, easily seduced by the Flattery-Cruelty coin to keep us in check. The fact that anyone can see that the Flattery-Cruel coin exists with you is all the evidence needed to understand the value of your word: nil. There's nothing to debunk when there's nothing worth checking into.
sometime soon tucker is gonna realize something.
when you do a search on tucker max douche bag, why are there 11,300 results?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=tucker+max+douche+bag&btnG=Search
and when you do a search on matt czuchry douche bag, there are only 120 results, most of which are tucker's fault!!!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Matt+Czuchry+douche+bag&btnG=Search
good move matt!!
the only people left at rudius are too dumb to use google, but i bet that tucker's debunking thread will still epic fail.
isn't there a legend about a douche who turned everything to douche when he touched it?
well, look at matt Czuchry's career.
over. finito. finis.
just like bunny's hope for marriage.
only douchetards let douchebags fuck up their lives.
Story about how I found this site:
I read Tucker's stories, and thought they were funny. I listened to his Sirus radio thing, and thought he was a jerk. Then I realized that he can best be described as a "douchebag." I googled "Tucker Max douchebag" to see if anybody agreed with me, and this site was the #1 result.
*= anyone notice that tucker's ears are really small. actually, they are small, but it's the ratio of his weird ass ears to his goofy head thats really strange. fetal alcohol syndrome maybe?
http://www.faqs.org/nutrition/images/nwaz_01_img0099.jpg here is a picture of someone with fetal alcohol syndrome. it does look like tucker
How mant of these Tucker Max haters are shitskins?
Just curious.
http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper863/stills/440da6760ed18-84-1.jpg look at those disproportionally small ears. tucker, your mom drank during pregnancy, is that why you are so mad at her and women in general? your ears are disturbing to my face geometry detector
One of the things I love about Tucker is how he's really funny and smart, and how he's always funny, and he's so awesome.
But one of the OTHER things that's so cool about him is that he's always doing stuff nobody else does - like, he's always pushing the envelope of social norms in an intense, funny, zany way.
Like, you know how he's always saying he's a narcissist? Well, it's like, Bunny's brain is completely fucked up, and she's been all over the emotional spectrum with him, and, like, she has all these horrible stories about things he put her through - AND HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE! Oh, Hahahahahahahahahadestroyinglivesisn'tfunny!!
You know? I mean, who even DOES that?!?! Well, captain questioning-face, I'll tell you:
T
U
C
K
E
R
M
A
X
THAT'S who!!! It's like, he's a narcissist, so he doesn't even care if Bunny calls him cruel and hyper-controlling, because it's just that he's got SO MUCH vision (have you even READ the super-script for Tucker's artistic film? It's revo-gosh-dang-lutionary!), and he's SUCH a deep, tortured artist, and he's SO smart, and SO insightful, and has SO much amazing energy, that it's like, he can't even FIT into the parameters of a normal person!! I mean, look at how unique and amazing his LIFE is! Who ELSE has a website and a book that provides a SIX FIGURE (that's even more than FIVE!) salary, ALL FOR JUST BEING WHO HE IS - A RAGING NARCISISSISISSISIST!?!?!?! Who? Who, I ask you?!?!
NOBODY, that's who! Tucker's whole LIFE is revolutionary, and that's why he's so incredibly funny and awesome, and cool, and it's just incredible about how cool he is.
marnie is a pretty cool girl. ehs took my dong in her butt and doesn't afraid of anything.
(thank you 'thetrixie' for letting me rail you in in the ass all those times. and having lube. and not giving me any STDs!)
^^^
yes we all know that you have had a lot of anal sex with marnie/trixie/bunny's sister. good work, quit bragging.
btw did u creampie her? and do you have stairs in your house?
longcat is loooooooong.
wow tucker, you sure have some tiny mongoloid ears. your creepy ears to fat head ratio might qualify you for disability
I think Ear Guy is one of Tucker's underlings, trying to make this site seem even more petty than it is, and trying to push more substantial posts up, so new visitors won't see them.
Those ARE some gay-a$$ ears, though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4enfUyGWSY
I think Ear Guy is one of Tucker's underlings, trying to make this site seem even more petty than it is, and trying to push more substantial posts up, so new visitors won't see them.
^ Don't you dare think too much about what it takes mentally to write something like this and believe it. Because if you do think about it too long or too often you may just want to go and do something else for a while, or at least until the butterflies subside.
i just heard that rolling stone mag. is giving tucker the cover in its upcoming "new media" revolution.
and on the cover of men's health is going to be fatass nihls with a carton of ben & jerry's.
rudius is my fav. new-media site.
it is whipsmart with a dash of law school rebellion, while also providing useful know-how regarding douchetardery.
imagine if clint eastwood or judd apataow would have blogged about all his movies.
they would have been so much better, like tucker max.
just like wayne gretsky would have been better at hockey if he shot hoops and talked about hockey on the basketball court, building buzz for hockey games.
and bill gates would have been a better businessman if he knew how to cook, and talked software while cooking, building buzz for microsoft.
and nils would be thinner if he played the flute.
Nils needs to lose weight. He is unhealthy.
tucker's ears remind of me a mix of the 'hey you guys' sloth dude from the goonies, and a mother who drank while pregnant. they are small ears. very small. it's just out of proportion. -not a tucker fan, and hopes tucker dies of slowAIDS. sorry for the misunderstanding
I PM'd tucker more than a year ago asking something along the lines of why he doesn't attack or respond to any of the people that come after him.
He said that his retaliation was part of a bigger plan, and that I should just wait for his crushing response. If his plan was starting that ridiculous thread, then it justifies (almost) everything ever said on this site.
If I'm wrong though, I'll have to own up to the fact that Tucker is an awesome dude, and eh doesn't afraid of anything.
why is every reference to cloud starkiller getting deleted off of that thread? tucker keeps posting that he's a stalker and that he doesn't want to give him the attention he's seeking, but since it's a thread addressing the rumors about tucker, and since cloud started a lot of them, shouldn't he at least pretend to answer some of the questions about justin?
real military people know tucker is a douche:
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19107
"After reading some of the "Nick Sadler" blog it seems completely fabricated. I seriously doubt it was written by a US Army Special Forces soldier.
Team Sergeant "
"I havent investigated Tucker Max until recently but from what I read and gather he is BS artist."
"Really Max is into MMA? wow tell him to ask for a refund from his trainer...he looks like fucking shit. " --http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/
and they haven't even scoped out the otehr 100 blogs that testify pretty much the same
One of these days Bunny is gonna snap and castrate Tucker.
One of these days Tucker is gonna snap and castrate Bunny.
The Bunny has already been spayed, dude.
CRod2487 on the Professional Soldier forum sounds like Ryan Holiday to me.
I don't think CRod2487 is Ryanna. Although he comes off as kind of a retard, he put Tucker down a few times (something Ryanna's internal circuitry won't allow her to do), and his posts aren't quite needlessly verbose and self-congratulatory for Ryanna.
On another note, I have a serious question for anyone here who might be able to answer it: Does Tucker afraid? Of anything?
Or is he teh awesome, as I'm hearing around town?
tucker max is a pretty cool guy. eh makes up fake stories and doesn't afraid of anything.
^ This should be posted on his movies and books as a blurb. Credited to "anonymous," of course.
marnie is a pretty cool girl. ehs takes it deep in the arse and doesn't afraid of anything.
'Doesn't afraid of anything' is a pretty cool phrase. Ti just keeps on rolling and it doesn't afraid of anything.
tucker has to know he's a douchebag by now.
if he doesn't, then he's just a bigger douche.
such are the laws of douchebaggery, son.
the 42 laws of douchebaggery will be out by spring--robin greene is wirting it.
you have to give tucker credit.
he made an f list movie with f list actors and an f list director.
how many of you ever accomplish this?
he lead noble souls such as kungfu mike and ryan holliday in a media revolution.
how many of you have done that?
he dates unknown hollywood skanks, and now matt czurchy has to too.
yes--matt went from dating kate bozworth to speaking words fatass nils wrote for him in an f-list script.
tucker and matt dons't belive in the third act--in that epic justice.
well, even if you don't put it in your art, you're still gonna get it in your life, and too, your art will suck.
the purpose of art is not to conceal supreme douchebaggery. it is to tell the truth.
some people have to learn the hard way.
Kungfu Mike looks like the guy from American Ninja.
if a douchebag states that he is not a douchebag, does that mean that he isn't one?
all that tucker has to do is say, "i am not now, nor have i ever been a douchebag."
and it would all be settled, once and for all.
so why is it that he never once denies being a douchebag, with all his millions and the next blockbuster movie and the next powerhouse production company?
and why did he get bob gosse to direct a supposed comedy. now that is funny. hahahaha.
It's not that Tucker is a douchebag, it's that he sorrounds himself with geeky posuer nobody's like Benson the ginger, and Drunkasaurusrex the fat smelly guy. Fortunately for Drunk, he can actually get pussy by being friends with Tucker. It's sad how they ban people for negative repping a moderator, or even suggesting something against the group mentality that a moderator or Tucker creates. Isn't that called Fascism? Regardless, I don't blame tucker, I blame his army of tools.
the big question is why did matt czurchy, with his bright future and academy awards all ahead of him, and starletts galore, throw it all away to play a douche? why did bob gosse--the next spielberg and lucas and apatow all rolled into one--throw it all away to direct an unfunny douchementary?
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
YAY! mr mcbeefjerks is back! now let's all go back to talking about tucker's cock.
It's a repeat, but a classic nonetheless: a perfect depiction of TM's douchebaggedness, his tiny body parts, and his limp-wristed fighting style.
hahaha "tiny body parts". not even 4,604 posts in, and the obsession with tucker's body begins.
Tucker, remember when you went on Opie and Anthony and they asked you why your ears were so tiny? And then they called you a liar, said you were full of shit, and you never mentioned opie and anthony on your site again. Why do you ban people for mentioning this failed appearance? you were so psyched to go on their show, plugging it on your blog and message board, and now it's totally gone. was it because they mentioned your tiny creepy ears?
bunny really thinks she is cute? Really? has anyone seen her myspace pics? Cute? Really????????? wtf. that was tucker's live in girlfriend, she looks like a man. an ugly man. and she has no talent. hope she doesn't cry!
combo-breaker!
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=732970&postcount=11
"The movie blog does not exist to promote the movie."
–––––
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=736082&postcount=15
"So the blog isn't makering? You aren't participating in marketing now?"
–––––
The fetal-alcohol-syndrome thing is starting to make sense. It's like trying to tell a color blind guy that he's wearing a red shirt, and he has no idea what you're talking about.
ACC = Arm Chair Critic
FAG = Fetal Alcohol Guy
Act I, Scene I
–––––––––––––
ACC: Red. Your shirt is red.
FAG: What are you talking about? What do you mean, red?
ACC: Red! Red's a color. Everything has a different color.
FAG: You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You're just wrong. I know you think you're right, but you're not. You don't get it.
ACC: Colors are aspects of the light spectrum, that...
FAG: Shut up. Just shut up, you're only making it worse. "Light spectrum..." HAHAHAHA. Trying to change the subject isn't going to help you dig your way out of your hole.
ACC: I'm not trying to dig my way out a hole, I'm starting to think you're color blind.
FAG: Color blind. Listen to you. Dude* now you're just making shit up. Everything is grey. The world is grey. There's just various shades to a monotone spectrum. Stop talking until you know what you're talking about.
ACC: I guess that's why you always wear grey shirts and shorts. Huh, maybe I was wrong, it looks like you're just bleeding to death.
FAG: Everybody wears grey shirts and shorts. You have no idea how many fucking emails I get from idiots like you that.... that.... fuck, I feel cold.
ACC: There's blood everywhere.
FAG: ...banned.... (blacks out and collapses)
ACC: Wow. What a tool. (walks away)
THE END
(*Dude: key word to Tucker's passive aggressive shift. He uses the word "dude" like a pedophile will gently touch a child's shoulder during their first contact.)
What it do, baby?? DOUCHEBAGS IN DA HOUSE!!
That Tucker "debunking" tread is hilarious! First, I actually read a post where someone wrote that Mr. McBeefwell set up this blog because he is jealous of Tucker Max, as though that could be the only reason for disliking Tucker.
I also read another comment where someone implied that only a douchebag would question the "truth" of Tucker's stories. - Someone wrote
"I never really had a problem believing your stories. I introduced your stories to many of my friends, and they also believed everything. It didn't even occur to me that any of your stuff is false.
I guess I'm simply not a douchebag. "
WCIAM?
It all means that the evil Rudius empire will soon be defeated! And then we will point to Tucker, and say, "Over, your rule is. And not short enough it was."
famous movies about none-douchebags (many academy awards throughout):
8 mile
a beautiful mind
malcom x
ali
saving private ryan
flash of genius
schindler's list
tombstone
wyatt erp
the era of douchebaggery is upon us, and the face of it is tucker max, trained by the elite douche faculty at duke and u of c, funded by the elite douchetards at viacom and darko, all of who have failed at art and life and honor and integrity and epic eternity.
douche does not equal art, but only the desecration of art, and thus douche will ultimately epic fail.
all all the douches, and their skanky douchesses, shall know my name.
I notice Tucker keeps telling us that he is now famous, almost as a given.
Is he really famous? I swear when I mention his name to people virtually 100% of the time they go "who?" And when I show them his site they could not be any less interested. Zero attraction level. But someone must be buying his book.
Tucker isn't famous. He's niche. He's sort of like Gary Gygax, sure he's celebrated by a small group of people but overall nobody knows or cares about him.
tucker will never be as famous as:
1) milli vanilli
2) paris hilton
3) scott petersen
4) new kids on the block
5) the chocolate rain dude
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA
Rudius Media needs to be renamed to Douchebags Unlimited.
the only reason people are buying his book is because it has no competition.
the new york media companies, owned by the corrupt investment banks which are taking trillions of your tax-dollars, outlawed honor and integrity--truth and beauty.
only douchebaggery is allowed through, and tucker jumped at the opportunity.
there is no bigger douchebag than tucker max and thus barnes and noble is commanded from on high to place him on the front tables.
but even this will come to pass.
the only reason people are buying his book is because it has no competition.
the new york media companies, owned by the corrupt investment banks which are taking trillions of your tax-dollars, outlawed honor and integrity--truth and beauty.
only douchebaggery is allowed through, and tucker jumped at the opportunity.
there is no bigger douchebag than tucker max and thus barnes and noble is commanded from on high to place him on the front tables.
but even this will come to pass.
Tucker Max has only one testicle.
i like the comparison of tucker to the creator of dungeons and dragons. tucker is a big fucking nerd like that old dead guy, but tucker has never created anything in his life. he's just a liar and a thief. someone should count all the stolen references and plagiarism in his script. i think it was done on gawker, and the counted like 10 verbatim stolen lines. also the fact that tucker's a huge liar and was caught lying on the opie and anthony show. talk about o&a tucker!! plz!!
Did anyone read Tuckster's 'response' to all the BC Woods junk, etc. etc.?
Wow. Just... wow. How a guy can type so many words without actually SAYING anything, then be so self-congratulatory about it, is beyond me. He truly lives inside his own head, doesn't he?
the arrogance was unbelievable. the whole "who do you think you are talking to me like that?" bit literally had me dumbfounded. tucker is fucking delusional in a way few people are.
it also confirms what a crock of shit rudius is in the first place. tucker takes 75% of revenue?!!!? why? for a bunch of worthless editing and an ugly website? how fucking dumb would you have to be to take that deal.
also note the "1,000,000 dollars in revenue part." subtract tucker, nils and philalawyer (who i suspect will tell tucker to get fucked shortly) and it basically boils down to nobody making money.
i can't wait till ihtsbih implodes and tucker is a complete pariah in hollywood (moreso). seeing a guy like this fail is funny as all fuck.
4:58 PM:
What was funny to me about his "response" was that it basically echoed everything he'd said earlier in the thread, i.e. "I've already answered these questions to my own satisfaction."
He's already responded to the BC Woods thing, in exactly the same way. I think the ones that asked in this thread were hoping to hear something beyond "He was a diva who expected too much. Ask any of the moderators, who will get banned if they say the wrong thing."
I don't remember anyone caring about Paul Levinson, so I'll skip that.
Freak Safari / I don't care about any of the posters on this board.
He spits the same shit. "I don't care about the drama. It just happens on its own. I'm above all that."
Are you telling me that someone who makes money off a web site doesn't care about the portion of it that drives in 90% of it's traffic? A web site thats traffic has gone down big time since most of the good posters have left? Does he really think people are showing up so people can read what BigDaddy69 has to say about anything?
Brett Meisner is creepy. I actually agree with Tucker on this.
But really, does that address 90% of the questions people asked? If Tucker is out, promoting his movie, ha, do you think they're going to say "What happened to BC Woods, bro?" or do you think they're going to ask,
"Why is there no proof of anything you've ever said, like a police report of that donut/subway shop thing? How did you afford to go to law school and piss away the fortune that it must have cost to send you there, especially if your site and its affiliates make no money?
Or, why does Embassy Suites have no idea who you are or why you would be banned?
Or, why do you always seem to run into a fat asian guy in commando pants every time you go out?
Or, why is it that there's a whole comment thread on Amazon about their negative reviews getting disappeared, and despite the low-brow appeal of your book, you have an almost five-star rating?
Or, if you're so funny, tough and on-the-spot as your stories claim, did you storm out the O&A studio so quick?
I'll stop there, but as to the last one, I've heard lots of celebrities clowned on by radio jocks who just want to embarrass their guests.
Just to name two, I've heard Kevin Smith and Reuben Studdard (sp?) get slaughtered on-air, and they rolled with the punches and came out sounding like pretty cool dudes afterwards.
The thing is...both of them were set up to fail in the interviews I heard. Both were on the Kidd Chris Show formerly out of Philly. I'd dig through the audio to find examples but I don't care that much. And besides, if I was making it up, are those the names I would drop?
Tucker signed on to be live-in-studio with O&A and Jimmy Norton. I guess Tucker never listened to the show before. No matter what kind of fucked up, "I was so drunk I did this" story you have, Norton has done worse.
So he could have approached it in either of one or two ways.
1. Gone after Norton. If Tucker's as sharp and quick as he claims he is, he could have told a story or two, riffed something like "Look I'm not Jimmy here, I've never fucked a tranny on purpose, which is why I think people relate to my stories" and gone from there. O&A would not have cut his mike off.
or
2. Been completely humble. "I really don't know why I'm here unless it's because you guys want to make fun of me. My stories aren't that interesting, I've just done a few funny things and made a dopey web site about them that people were drawn to." Again...I'm not an O&A fan, but I think they wouldn't have embarrassed him the way they did.
Instead of choosing those options though, Tucker pretended like his book was so interesting and so shocking and so groundbreaking that O&A really wanted him as a guest. Yessss. So he told his stories semi-verbatim, and got laughed off the air. Whoops.
Oh wait, don't you know the answer to all your questions?
"You are a passive-aggressive small-minded loser who has to compensate for his own lack of self-esteem by shitting on and tearing down others he views as successful. You do know reality exists outside your own perception, right? Oh, wait you don't because the questions you ask are worse than asinine and stupid, they are based on fundamentally flawed assumptions. I used to laugh at such idiocy, but now I just don't care.
If you really care about this anymore, then you are even worse then I thought and you should die."
Tucker's BC Woods explanation basically boiled down to the fact that he was a whiny and annoying diva, and he was fired. Since Tucker provided no evidence of this, outside of referring to his old posts to paint the picture that he is "socially awkward", we are basically forced to accept his explanation on faith in Tucker's judgment. I don't know about you, but that seems like an awfully weak explanation. It boils down to "Trust me. He deserved it."
What also seems odd about the explanation is that BC Woods was just asking why he was paid so little. To his credit, Tucker explained pretty well in his post that it was due to poor ad revenue. Why didn't he just explain this to BC Woods in his reply? While he would still be pissed, I think BC would have accepted the explanation. Also, who doesn't have empathy for someone that makes $86 for 6 months work? Perhaps Tucker was upfront about how much BC should expect to be paid, but outside of specifying he would receive 25% of the revenue, this detail is missing. I feel Tucker would add this if it indeed happened because it would make him look much better.
Also, what's with the Paul Levinson explanation? It says they parted ways because "What Paul does is outside of the sweet spot of the Rudius Media skill set". What is the "Rudius Media skill set"? That seems like another awfully vague explanation. If anyone here can explain it, I'm all ears.
Also, for now, don't criticize Tucker for not answering other stuff. He did say in his post, he will answer other concerns later.
I concur. Those videos are prima facie that Tucker is a dirty fucking liar.
Here's a guy who's published books that are testament to his awesomeness, and when shit goes down IN REAL LIFE he throws a hissy fit, flips the guys off and storms out of the interview. He's polished this image of himself of being quick-as-fuck with one-liners and never loses a verbal fight, and then O&A tear it to shreds.
Also, the latest post in the debunking thread in regard to BC Woods is hilarious. Is he really that delusional that he thinks he has the higher ground? Are people REALLY reading that and agreeing with him? JESUS TITTYFUCKING CHRIST.
REALLY?!?!?learn
So basically he fired BC Woods for being a diva and asking the wrong questions. And this series of events doesn't make Tucker out to be a dipshit... how, exactly?
a grandiose sense of self-importance
preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
believes that he or she is "special" and unique
requires excessive admiration
has a sense of entitlement
is interpersonally exploitative
lacks empathy
is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
-Pathological narcissism can develop from an impairment in the quality of the person's relationship with their primary caregivers, usually their parents, in that the parents were unable to form a healthy, empathic attachment to them. This results in the child conceiving of themselves as unimportant and unconnected to others. The child typically comes to believe that he or she has some defect of personality which makes them unvalued and unwanted.
-To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others’ views, unaware of others' needs and of the effects of their behavior on others, and insistent that others see them as they wish to be seen.
-Though individuals with NPD are often ambitious and capable, the inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreements or criticism, along with lack of empathy, make it difficult for such individuals to work cooperatively with others or to maintain long-term professional achievements.
With narcissistic personality disorder, the person's perceived fantastic grandiosity, often coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically not commensurate with his or her real accomplishments.
after its first screening, they have decided to call the film "douche and doucher."
Who is Brett Meisner? aHHHHHHHHH!
i read somewhere on the internet thattucker is a douche.
has this been debunked?
Tucker is not a narcissist. A narcissist would not admit to weaknesses and a narcissist would not admit to being limited because he/she is a narcissist.
Tucker's narcissism is an excuse he's resorted to because he has not accomplished enough to warrant being such a cock.
If Tucker were a real man, he'd give Light a blog on the Rudius network. Then Tucker h8rz would have a formal blog to converge to, and the traffic would generate revenue for Rudius while at the same time proving that Tucker isn't a little bitch when it comes to criticism.
But Tucker would never do that, because he IS a little bitch when it comes to criticism. I can smell the bitch in him. Hmm-mmm, that's some vintage bitch right there.
^Nice. We should start calling him Ottobitch.
you guys are just jealous because never before in the history of mankind has someone been called a douche by so many, while being one at the same time.
^^ Uh... I think you're forgetting about that famous Welsh douchebag, Dooshie Dooshert. There's a well-known anecdotal recounting of the time he was surrounded in town square, and all the townspeople, and the travelers that passed through the town, all pointed at him and mocked him mercilessly for hours.
It would be interesting to do a lineage study to determine if Tucker is related to Dooshert.
Tucker thinks his movie is on the right track. This is good, because when it fails horribly, he will have that much further to fall.
Wow. Tucker's movie got a 95% on its first screening. Of course, with fifty people watching, and each person's vote counting equally, 95% is mathematically impossible. But whatever.
tucker's vote counted for .5 because he has tiny hands.
Imagine if 5% of your best friends still wouldn't recommend a movie you devoted your life to, and you let them see it for free and game them beer.
Based on the behavior of the sycophantic/psycho Rudius/Douchius/holliday/sillylittlefreak/bunny media fanboys, this would mean that 95% of normal people would not recommend the movie to a friend.
Imagine if 5% of your best friends still wouldn't recommend a movie you devoted your life to, and you let them see it for free and game them beer.
Based on the behavior of the sycophantic/psycho Rudius/Douchius/holliday/sillylittlefreak/bunny media fanboys, this would mean that 95% of normal people would not recommend the movie to a friend.
Holy Motherfucking Shit!!!!
Did you not see the jeanus of Tucker's master plan now?! He got a 95% approval rating on his motherfucking cinemas!!
9
5
%
Take that you bunch of rectally bleeding fags!!! That stat says it all, kind of sort of.
Sure Tucker had most of his inner circle at the film, such superstars like drunkensourusrex, Ryan Holliday (no he's not pretentious even if I don't know the meaning of pretentious) and Mark Fucking Ebner!!!
Mark Ebner is so awesome that I want to go write up to a Mormon and go "FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAG HOLLYWEIRD RELIJUN!!!" Then I'd go to their celebrity centre and get into a fight with Donnie Osman. Man is Ebner cool.
Sure you can't get 95% out of 50 people, but those people aren't Tucker Max. Tucker actually fucked one of the people who gave it a low rating so he got an extra point for that. Fuck you statistics!!!
I'm going to go home a beat off with a calculator until I can get 95% out of 50.
Later fags!!!
It would be typical Tucker fashion to lie about the movie screening. That burnt-out pumpkin of man focuses too much on manipulating his followers.
Oh, an duh... FREE NILLY!!!
95 percent out of 50 friends gave the film props. I'm bad at math. That means 2 and a half people didn't like film?
Never believe your own press.
would you like warm douche on your popcorn?
I just can't imagine that script producing a good movie. His movie script was so fucking awful that I can't fathom anyone, not even the great Bob Gosse who worked on the mega hit Niagra Niagra to turn that script into something worth seeing.
Unless they did something incredible to the script, like rewrote it with talented writers, I can't believe it's good or even ok.
INT. MCDONALDS RESTAURANT KITCHEN
A wretched looking McDonalds employee hastily slaps a wrapper on a McGriddle and fires it down the metal holding chute.
AARON (V.O.)
Where whatever societal reject McDonalds has rescued off the dole that week gently wraps them in cellophane and passes them along to you, the fortunate consumer.
CUT TO:
CONTINUED:
INT. MCDONALDS - CONTINUOUS
AARON
You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies that face them.
CUT TO:
INT. MCDONALDS KITCHEN
A dirty fry cook pours some watery, yellow mixture into a mold and tosses it in a microwave. He pulls a couple strips of something from a box labeled "Fa-con" and slaps a slice of pale, waxy "cheese" on top of it.
AARON (V.O.)
Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait--they didn't add...yes they did, they did indeed. They added cheese. The fry cook dunks an english muffin into a giant open tub of maple syrup. He pulls the english muffin out and accidentally drops it on the floor. He quickly brushes off the larger debris from the floor, and slaps the egg, cheese, and fa-cony concoction between the two sides of the english muffin... And then, then my friend, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information...
CUT TO:
INT. MCDONALDS - CONTINUOUS
Aaron takes a large orgasmic bite from a sandwich that looks like it was smushed into a ball and dropped into a lint trap. Aaron talks with his mouth full.
AARON
It hits them. The syrup nugget. The motherfucking syrup nugget!!! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
TUCKER
So you like them?
AARON
Allow me to phrase it another way.
CUT TO:
INT. TUCKER'S APARTMENT - DREAM SCENE
Aaron is dressed like a ninja, with a McGriddle in one hand. He sneaks up on Tucker and, in one fluid motion, whips the wrapper off the McGriddle, crams it in Tucker's mouth, places the wrapper around his penis and humps Tucker from behind before punching him violently at the base of his skull.
AARON
If you ever speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally come to your home and force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt with the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nugget explodes.
CUT TO:
INT. MCDONALDS - CONTINUOUS
TUCKER
You are so fucking weird.
-------
That scene will be more quoted that Caddyshack and any other comedy. 95%? I say 96%. IMHO
Oh, hahahahahahahahahahastupid! Did you READ that scene?!?! It's brilliant!
B
RI
L
LI
A
NT
!!
If the movie ISN'T a HUGE piece of shit. If it is actually KINDA sophomorically (if that really is a word) funny and does even a little bit well I wouldn't expect anyone in here to conceded anything, that would be damaging to the collective psyche in many ways I'm sure. I've heard some decent preliminary rumblings for what to do in this circumstance. Sentences added to the end of emotional diatribes that are the beginnings of this sort of "protection". I don't think you need to prepare too much because the film probably won't do that well. Just in case though, you should be developing good internal excuses now. It'll save you from more pain later. I mean, if this complete stranger whose entirely seperate life from yours inspires so much emotion now...well, I think we can safely assume that even a moderate achievement on his part, you know like having a successful movie made based off your book, may have dire consequences for those that have been drifting along on the S.S. DouchebagWatch for the past two friggin years.
Um,
Here's the funny part, McDonalds didn't give the film product placement, so there is no "McGriddle" in IHTSBIH.
Now that's hilarious.
^^^^^^^
From what I understand, there wasn't much, if any, product placement in the movie. I remember Tucker talking about how product placement was going to pay for the production of the movie, and I remember thinking how absolutely delusional he was. This was before his producer found Darko films to sucker.. er.. finance IHTSBIH. Tucker really believed that McDonalds, Red Bull and a few others would spend millions of dollars to have their products shown in his movie.
The reality of the situation is this: it doesn't work that way, it never has. Maybe in reality television for a major market, but not for a 6 million dollar film about a raging alcoholic douchebag with no redeeming values. Tucker (and bless his heart for this) has a habit of speaking definitively about something he THINKS he knows about, whereas to people who do know how things work realize he's an idiot.
I'm thinking they had to scrap this entire scene. McDonalds won't allow it's product to be associated with it, do you believe that they'll allow a Greeked product (a fake product that's based upon the real thing) to make it to the film? They'd sue the hell out of both Darko and Tucker if the fake product looks relatively close to their own product, that includes "syrup nuggets".
Plus in context, this scene doesn't work. Why do you need to explain exactly what your characters are doing on screen in a VO while they are doing it? You don't even need the bizarre Family Guy fantasy sequence to make this funny, the dialogue alone works, everything else is overkill.
If Tucker Max's movie succeeds. I will kill myself.
JUST KIDDING!
the only product placement was that one scene featuring rudius douche(TM)
The McGriddle speech/diatribe/scene is funny the first time I read it, i.e. when SlingBlade posted it to the messageboard years ago. But it doesn't translate well at all to a movie (for the rape scene aspect alone) even if done with product placement. But if they tried to go with a generic, fake replacement, then any humor that was in the original is completely lost.
And yes, it is hilarious how Tucker was bragging/predicting that product placement would be a huge part of the financing, part of his "revolutionary" method of making and promoting the film, when it is non-existent. Right or wrong on the companies' parts, there is no way they would want to sully their brand image by being associate with this film.
Somebody explain why he can't mention McGriddles and McDonalds without their permission.
rumor has it that tucker and a few of his friends screened the movie and also recruited a few people from craigslist to watch it also. that is where my buddy came in. he said that the movie was so bad that he literally could not stop frowning. he said it was a terrible movie like that crappy movie 'college' except a lot worse. he wants to know how to remove the frown from his face
McDonalds and McGriddles have copywrights by a massive corporation that spends 100's of million dollars a year protecting their brand name and image.
^ Um... ok guys, I know I'm not very smart, but don't copyrighted things get mentioned on TV and in movies all the time?
"Mentioned" is not the same as "featured".
i wuz at da screenin and lemme jes say it wuz sooooooooooo bad that after it wuz ova we all gangbuttraped tucker max and he cried and lisped for his ommy.
yeah big black cock power
this is a 100% true story and a reporter actually verified it, but his paper went out of business. im juts weaiting for him to get a new job. 100% verified though. so i was at the screening, and some ppl think it has a 95% approval rating, but actually the 5% didnt disapprove, they SUPER approved. tucker actually read a book on quantum physics while the screening took place cause he didnt want to get recognized by his tons of fan. anyway, the movie is going straight to dvd. its a nastier abortion than an incest pregnancy. check amazon.com for the dvd soon, you might be able to pick up a used copy for $1.99. great vanity project, tucker. hope it scores you some new hot girls like bunny, who is about as hot as a elephantiasis foot
Hi, Tucker...
We can't begin to fathom the dread, anticipation, and miscellaneous emotions that you must be experiencing knowing that your movie blows.
You suck, Tucker. Fuck off, and of course, die. Preferably in horribly painful, agonizing fashion, but... y'know, whatever which way suits you.
Thank you,
The Internets
what can tucker do to change the fact that he is a douchebag?
make a movie that beats titanic at the boxoffice?
nope.
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