The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 13001 – 13200 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Fake real mod guy is a fake real fake mod. I'm a real real fake real mod guy. Ask me your questions, guys!
What does H.A.R.M. stand for?
Real real fake real mod guy, if fake real mod guy is a fake real fake mod, and you're a real real fake real mod, how do we know if you're real or fake and if fake real mod guy is fake or real? I just need some clarification.
Trust me.
"Forrest Griffin ran away like a little ween. Lol. I don't know, who am I to talk smack? According to USA today, Griffin left the cage just before the official decision was called. Apparently, this isn't anything new as Griffin has pulled the same garbage after losing previous battles."
Uh no...
He stayed for the decision in the Keith Jardin Fight, The Rashad Evans Fight, The Tito Ortiz Fight...
He's never "Run" physically out of the ring without hearing the call.
And the crowd boo'd him for it. And rightly so.
While I think Anderson Silva is a major douchebag, and the second he gets knocked out cold I would laugh in his face...
Forrest has a Glass Jaw Apparently. I used to think he was tough as shit.
I mean, it took Silva beating Franklin with punch after punch for him to finally crumple. Forest got hit exactly 3 times and he went down from every single one of them.
For god sakes. He cried uncle on the ground and Anderson wasn't even on him. He got TKOd by a back peddling Jab.
Either A) Adnerson Silva is just that powerful (unlikely since we've seen people take loads of punches from him, and his power is likely less in a heavier weight class) or B) Forrest Griffin has a Glass Jaw and doesn't "want it" and it quite possibly a Puss.
Smart man brings gun to fistfight
You know how kids jeans at Kmart came in three different sizes: Small, Medium, and Husky? Nils had to buy Husky.
Nils and his wife will now have to buy used KMart husky jeans on eBay.
Whatever happened to Tucker's shitty homemade promotional brochure for theater operators? I loved that slogan "Profit to the Max". For someone touting himself as a marketing genius, it had the layout of someone who was mired in the ancient WordStar era of word processing.
"U of Wisconsin-Milwaukee is a commuter school for dumbasses who couldn't get into Madison."
don't be a douchebag...like the people who say that Colorado State students all wish they got into CU-Boulder.
the truth is, it takes a moron to get rejected by Madison or Boulder. some of us just choose not to subject ourselves to the douchery of those towns.
"While I think Anderson Silva is a major douchebag, and the second he gets knocked out cold I would laugh in his face..."
Anderson Silva will NEVER be knocked out cold. Not if he fought Fedor, even. Say what you will, but the man is almost unbeatable at ANY weight class.
and Tucker Max is a douche...and Nils is fat. just to keep this on topic...
Hey proser thanks for the inside info- but so far you are just confirming stuff we already knew or speculated. Have anything new? How about a new anecdote of Tucker's douchery.
Thanks.
Holy shit, the mystery-mod is Proser? Wow, that's big. Come on, Proser, you're among friends. Lay it out, man.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/149517370
The billion-dollar corporations love tucker because to them, he represents "Mathsculinity."
And this is why their film is epic failing, as Tucker is to Masculinity what Ryan Holliday is to Success and Richard Kellly/Bob Gosse are to art.
Discuss! Discuss how there are no manly/masculine characters in Tucker's epic fail, but only immoral and amoral pushovers and wimps and little children pooping and making other people clean it up. During the poop scene, what would have been really funny, is have some stranger in a long trench coat witness it, witness teh maid crying, and then just pummel the crap out of tucker, and force him to clean it up by licking it up. That's what was misisng throughout the soulless film.
Gone are John Wayne and Charlton Heston--gone are cowboys and Moses as definitive, rugged, masculine men.
Enter Tucker--the "modern man."
Unlike the true, manly heroes of yore, Tucker
1) engages in sodomy and films it without the other persons' consent
2) makes fun of of innocent bystanders, geeks, and minorities
3) hypes and lies/misleads and spins and twists in an unmanly, dishonorable manner
4) lacks the manly soul that yearns for faith, morality, truth, justice, and family
5) lacks the manly soul which carries the "golden rule" shared by all religions and cultures "do onto others as you would have them do onto you."
On case you are wondering why they wire tens of millions at his epic fail, it is not out of a love of art and film and manhood and profit, but out of a love of sodomy, debauchery, and degredation.
What other ways is Tucker masculine?
Easter Egg hunts?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/149517370
well, look what happens when you let women run things. . .
the family is destroyed as women initiate over 2/3 of all divorces and 100% of all abortions.
the nyt's readership collapses, while tucker rises on the bestseller list, as women-controlled billion-dollar-corporations funnel hundreds of thousands of dollars at him.
http://blog-aauw.org/2009/09/28/time-to-draw-the-line-on-tucker-max/
look at all our feminine wars on foreign shores which are men aren't allowed to win, but only be ground down and killed.
women, who initiate 2/3 of all divorces and 100% of all abortions know nothing of the golden rule. women give birth to 100% of all bastard and illegitimate children.
would you wnat to be aborted? then why would you abort someone else?
women are the ones publishing, producing, and financing tucker max, even though he is a failure who just lost $10,000,000 for richard kelly. thousands are yet lining up to copulate with his epic failure, as women fall for bs and detest honor, compassion, sincerity, niceness, goodness, character, and integrity.
just look at nils' wife. she not only married nils, but invested in his film/fart art.
http://markymarksthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/09/ego-epidemic-amongst-women.html
"A primary difference between men and women is that women will exaggerate problems and/or create them, then moan and complain. It is men's nature to solve problems. Sadly, the 'flaw' that many men have is honesty. If your true nature is a compassionate and reasoning human, show it and you're toast. Also, men have a tendency to believe when they are told something, as though it is true. If they don't lie, why would she? Here's reality--discount most of what a woman says, it is nonsensical chatter or BS. Actions are what matters, watch this and only this. Don't deceive yourself. Oh, and know this: everything you say and do will be used against you. You will meet an enemy with icewater for blood, with no glint of compassion or remorse, one you never knew existed, and this enemy will show such poison, hatred and vindictiveness that you'll feel like you've been hit by a train (unless you've been through it before, then you already know what to expect and can plan ahead for a battle when you see it coming). Don't be an idiot, or plead temporary insanity. Just....don't....do....it. The saying "an ounce of prevention" applies to this extremely well."
http://markymarksthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/09/migs-on-women-marriage.html
It's true! Women are the ones financing, producing, and publishing tucker max!
http://blog-aauw.org/2009/09/28/time-to-draw-the-line-on-tucker-max/
The above author cites an executive summary:
“In study after study, findings have indicated that women more often than men are portrayed in a sexual manner (e.g., dressed in revealing clothing, with bodily postures or facial expressions that imply sexual readiness) and are objectified (e.g., used as a decorative object, or as body parts rather than a whole person). In addition, a narrow (and unrealistic) standard of physical beauty is heavily emphasized. These are the models of femininity presented for young girls to study and emulate.”
Well, this certainly is incriminating evidence!
Now that women have been given the freedom to choose and are afforded with the opportunity to “dress in revealing clothing, with bodily postures or facial expressions that imply sexual readiness,” they jump on the opportunity.
Of course the feminists will argue that neanderthal men are forcing the women to do this, and that women have no choice in the manner.
Should one puruse porn sites on the internent, they will find that far more women partake in them than do men. There are far, far more pictures of women, than men.
Of course the feminists will argue that neanderthal men are forcing the women to do this, and that women have no choice in the manner.
The feminist movement destroyed the strong fathers and fatherhood who would keep their daughters off such sites.
They took the Bible out of all the curriculums as its morality was patriarchal and oppressive. They replaced the classics with sexually-crarged material. And then they wonder and stand agape at the “Girls Gone Wild” phenomena, and blame it all on Neanderthal men.
So it is that the fundamental tenet of modern feminism is that women can a) do whatever they want, and b) are never responsible for their actions.
The interesting thing about porn is that while yes, men watch it and pay for it, women perform it, partake in it, and accept money for it. Porn is degrading, just like Tucker Max. so again, why are so many women funding, financing, producing, copulating with, and publishing Tucker Max, even after his film flopped, and why are so many women partaking in porn?
Imagine if strong fathers were yet around to make women act like ladies.
http://markymarksthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/08/book-of-philateles-iv.html
And let us look at the trainwreck of our politics:
* A "two party" system that is a de facto one party.
* A national debt which has put the USA into hock to the rest of the world, notably China.
* Globalization which has wrecked American jobs.
* The collapse of the borders due to illegal immigration.
* Pathologies such as "political correctness" being elevated to the status of regulation and law.
* Massive social engineering which has wrecked the family.
* A de facto police state built around the war on drugs, child support enforcement, and the PATRIOT ACT, much of which was implemented to "protect women".
* Endless wars for murky political objectives.
* Ad nauseam.
Now, I do not think any of this is accidental, but is a direct result of giving the most irrational sector of the citizenry the vote. Politics has become so much pandering to interest groups. And women are the most easily swayed group. And also one of the more unrealistic groups. I suspect that the national debt is a direct result of female voters not understanding the relationship between earning and spending -- after all, men have all this wealth, right? That's the way it has been ever since boyfriend picked up the tab when dating, or the "ex" sends in his alimony checks.
Or take the increasingly repressive laws re child support, drugs, etc. I can tell you from experience (having done some work in the criminal justice field) that many of these laws have been implemented with the stated purpose of "protecting women"--Bill of Rights be d*mn*d!
Same with globalization, etc. A "manly" foreign policy would defend this country and, if engaged in foreign wars, fight them quickly and to a conclusion (e.g., Spanish-American War). What we have seen instead are indecisive "girlie" wars in Korea, Vietnam and now the Middle East. Can't do anything masculine like actually trying to win them, have to make sure everyone is happy.
All this was understood by the founding fathers, that mass democracy would lead to bread & circuses politics. Hence, the USA was founded as a republic. (Robert A Heinlein, the sci-fi writer, had a thing or three to say about this, by the way.)
Oh well, the collapse of civilization is not too far away, then we shall see who has the last laugh.
http://markymarksthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/08/book-of-philateles-iv.html
"Anderson Silva will NEVER be knocked out cold. Not if he fought Fedor, even. Say what you will, but the man is almost unbeatable at ANY weight class."
Um...did you ever watch him in Pride? Very beatable. In fact, he was 14-7 if I'm not mistaken?
You've never seen him take a clean KO punch. Anyone can get knocked out. There was a time when Lidell looked unbeatable.
If you get hit clean on the button, with the right punch, you're going to sleep no matter who you are.
And on topic...Tucker is a douche. And Nils is fat.
Nils is so fat that he's been seen with some big retarded looking guy eating Baby Ruths while looking for the treasure of One Eyed Willie.
tucker max's epic fail is funded, financed, produced, and published by women and by billion-dollar corporations headed by women. thousands of skanky woman line up to copulate with his epic, ugly fail and tiny hands.
this is what happens when you let vengeful women run everything.
8:20, you're an idiot. The VAST majority of women don't give a hooker's turd about Tucker, and those who do are vapid, emotionally broken imbeciles. Stop the misogyny, please
^ Hi, Bunny! You're up early today - hope you remembered to take your meds! Oh, and by the way, men are better than women, so suck it bitch :-).
^
Tucker, stop slumming and bad mouthing The Bunny.
^ "Hi, Bunny! You're up early today - hope you remembered to take your meds! Oh, and by the way, men are better than women, so suck it bitch :-)."
Just because you're a flaming faggot doesn't mean men are better than women, you dipshit. Try telling that to your mother and see what she has to say. :-)
Time to start recycling "You momma so fat" jokes
If Darth Vader and Wesley Crusher teamed up against Captain Kirk and Kara Thrace, who would win?
"Just because you're a flaming faggot doesn't mean men are better than women, you dipshit. Try telling that to your mother and see what she has to say. :-)"
No, the fact that the vast majority of human achievements have been orchestrated by men does mean that men are better than women, you stupid cunt. Tell your mother to get an abortion next time. :-)
I see the Rudius mods are here en masse today, probably because they have no one left on their own boards since they've banned everyone. You've created for yourselves the exclusive dominion you've always wanted. Is it boring already?
HERE'S SOME ADVICE,SLAANESHI SCUM: STOP FUCKING THE BEASTMEN
I DID NOT MAKE THE KHORNIGORS JUST SO YOU COULD FUCK THEM
OOPS, WRONG THREAD, MY BAD
9:43 AM, couldn't have put it better myself.
And why is every person who attacks misogyny accused of being Bunny? That bitch doesn't know the first thing about women's rights and equality; she spends her time sucking up to Tucker and dreaming of the day they'll get married so he can pull his shit on a regular basis.
I am the real mod that originally called the "real mod" fake. I debated writing a whole bunch of details about why "real mod" is a fraud. Instead I'll leave it at this: I will come back Monday morning.
On Monday morning, without even saying another word, you will know that I am legit.
Oh the stories I could tell, if you all weren't such gossiping, lying little pussies.
"On Monday morning, without even saying another word, you will know that I am legit."
That'll be cool. I look forward to it.
"if you all weren't such gossiping, lying little pussies."
Are you referring to the people here, or the RMMB mods? If the former, you are a fucking hypocrite and an idiot. If the latter, please continue!
I am also a real mod, and absolutely know and can confirm what Real Mod A is predicting.
- Real Mod B
Whatever, Mr Mod, whether you be real or fake.
No one here worries about what an anonymous poster thinks of him or her. That's why RMMB is so easy to ridicule. The folk there do care about their online facade, which is ironic given the lack of abiding by social norms that Tucker supposedly espouses. In practice, Tucker is as scared, scarred and thin-skinned as the rest of RMMB. His attempt to compensate for his character deficits is what attracts the RMMB membership. He does care, and that's what makes him a pussy.
DECONSTRUCTING A TUCKER MOD
In this episode: If there's one thing worse than Tucker, that's a Tucker sycophant.
"I am the real mod that originally called the "real mod" fake."
Oh boy-o-boy-o-boy. You sure got him there. How about I call you a douchebag and a fake? I win, even though I don't have to actually PROVE you're a fake just like you don't PROVE anything other then I am at least 1/2 correct. You're a douchebag.
"I debated writing a whole bunch of details about why "real mod" is a fraud."
Except you're probably just another douchebag who is attention seeking on a board that doesn't give a fuck who you are. Ever think of that? You're an even bigger pussy because YOU FUCKING WAITED FOR TUCKER TO COMPLETELY FAIL FOR YOU TO LEAVE. You realize that, right? Pussy.
"Instead I'll leave it at this: I will come back Monday morning."
Oh wow, are you going to go to the balcony and call out to the crowd so they can all watch you take off your mask?
Here's a guess, whatever mask you take off, underneath will be all douche. You fucking drama queen.
"On Monday morning, without even saying another word,"
Awesome, you were getting to become a tired act.
"you will know that I am legit."
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! You said "without saying another word"!!! THEN YOU SAY ANOTHER BUNCH OF WORDS!!! You fucking liar!!!
"Oh the stories I could tell, if you all weren't such gossiping, lying little pussies/"
Dude, you should have stopped at "without saying another word". Here's why you're a douchebag. You call us "gossiping" while saying you are going to come back Monday and GOSSIP WITH US. Which in fact makes you not only a drama queen and a douche, but a lying pussy as well.
Enjoy the end of your little world on RMMB. In about 3 months it will be just a couple mods presiding over a bunch of dorky douchebags who Tucker hates even more then his mods.
-TDG
*throws panties at TDG*
Well done, sir.
hahahaha way to completely lose your shit TDG. Wow.
"Enjoy the end of your little world on RMMB. In about 3 months it will be just a couple mods presiding over a bunch of dorky douchebags who Tucker hates even more then his mods."
Wrong.
^
Where's your daddy?
RMA, why tease? The TMMB shuts down on Monday. There. Spilled.
Seems plausible.
TMMB could be run on lunch money.
Riiiight, Bankrupt Tucker is going to shutdown one of his last remaining sources of income when the traffic and thus ad revenue is higher than its been in 3 years.
That's fucking stupid. Stop all these retarded rumors.
This is all that's left of TMMB... morons and monkeys. The old crew would have planted a plausible rumor. These fools haven't the brains to pull it off.
Who cares what TMMB mods have to say about anything? They've sucked cock for years and their opinions are now invalid.
A part of me thinks Tucker might just reset his board and try to start over again. Just pretend the movie (and his absurd claims) didn't happen.
It's not entirely implausible. It would be like his response to the O&A debacle. For a long time he just erased any mention of it.
@ 11:50 you act like he's failed to shock you with his unique qnd enchanting combo of stupidity/hubris in the past. He can't keep that board open without getting honest. Which do you think he'd choose?
Purging a message board and closing a message board are distinctly different options.
Tucker will purge content, but there's no way he'll close that board. It's his conduit to diseased pussy.
You'll see on Monday.
What's the point of purging his message board?
(serious question)
"What's the point of purging his message board?"
What was the point of erasing every post relating to O&A?
I know what he's going to do. He's going to come out of the closet as a gay man who has been doing performance art for the past few years in an effort to make fun of the very people who are his fans. He just got in way over his head because the joke worked way better than he anticipated. Plus he was making money from these rubes, so why not continue the facade?
It all came to a head when the movie failed. He realized who he really was in life and how unhappy the entire rouse has made him. He will now go back to being a homosexual male and listen to his Clay Aiken albums while laughing at what complete and total idiots his "fans" really are.
TDG, nice job btw.
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
12:34--
Point taken, but does that mean the IHTSBIH website will be shut down too?
I can neither confirm nor deny that Mod A or Mod B are in fact mods. Nor can I confirm or deny that the post made by "TDG" was in fact "TheDeconstructionGuy" and not "TotalDeadlyGayness". Nor can I confirm or deny that anything in particular will happen on Monday, nor can I confirm or deny the precise nature of what may or may not happen on that day. Nor can I conform or deny that I am or am not Tucker Max.
I can, however, confirm that Nils is fat.
@12:39 PM
I doubt it, but all those embarrassing posts about beating The Hangover will probably be removed. In any event, I'd think the IHTSBIH website is at least part-owned by Darko, so it's unlikely the site itself will disappear. Just don't be surprised if a couple of the posts disappear mysteriously.
Someone said the Rudius Air messageboard post was removed, though I haven't checked it out personally yet.
Again, there's a difference between purging and closing a message board. The real/fake/whatever mod alluded that the message board would close, and inferred it wouldn't be for a short period of time. That does not make sense:
1) Source of revenue for Tucker, though not as much as most believe;
2) Close TMMB and you risk members leaving, never to return when you re-open;
3) Tucker's remaining social status is tied heavily to TMMB (including his sole ability to get laid).
Some enterprising soul needs to copy all of Tucker's boastful remarks regarding Beer In Hell and paste them onto this blog, so Tucker can realize that they, like his herpes, will follow him forever.
why are you guys still working on any of this?
you won! Tucker lost! it's pretty much over! go back to your basements and eating hot pockets.
@12:50 PM
Seems unlikely to me, unless they close for "routine maintenance." I'm too lazy to check now, but didn't something like that happen before? The boards crashed and all the data was lost, or some such thing.
I'm pretty sure the real/fake Tucker mods are just full of it though.
@12:52 PM
Much of that has been done already:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/149014356?p=1
@12:57 PM
We'll go back to our basements when we're good and ready if it's all the same to you.
I really hope Tucker reveals that his past 8 years has been an Andy Kaufman-esque experiment in human behavior, centered on the effects of mass psychosis and the mob mentality. He'll reveal the ISP's for every post on his own board, this blog, IMDb... everywhere. We'll all get called out as sniveling tomato throwers. That would actually make me laugh and tip my hat to him.
Realistically, maybe Tucker's shutting down Rudius because he picked up a job in the mailroom of CAA, and will try to change the system from within. God only knows that true artists need a good man on the inside, willing to work for the greater interests of creativity. Wait a second, that seems even less likely than the Andy Kaufman scenario.
Alright, I predict that on Monday, after 24 hours of waiting, Tuesday will follow.
i find it fucking awesome that in Chicago, where Tucker had the most theaters for the opening, now has.........ZERO.
zero.point.zero.
there are a few that are showing it, but they are in the suburbs.
fail. Scoresman, got a tattoo.
i find it fucking awesome that in Chicago, where Tucker had the most theaters for the opening, now has.........ZERO.
zero.point.zero.
there are a few that are showing it, but they are in the suburbs.
fail. Scoresman, got a tattoo.
Think what you want, theorize about purging vs. closing. The thing is shutting down on Monday. Check pwj's recent posts in the advice forum for clues.
I have told you monkeys over and over, I will talk about all of this after the theatrical run. Believe me, there are a lot of things I want to reveal about a lot of people, but where do you people get your huge sense of entitlement. Really, I have written the most honest truthful comments ever on a blogger comment board about another message board blogger who made a movie about his blog exploits ever in the history of comments to a blogger making fun of a blogger, and you still want more from me.
Well I can tell you that the fake mod calling out the real mod is in fact a fake mod on another fake message board where many of the original stories are fake. But I will reveal the full truth about the fake mod calling out the real mod on Monday-- unless this message board crashes or closes--or the TMMB closes or crashes or is just purged.
But before I reveal all on Monday, I do want to leave you with this tantalizing tidbit. Nils Parker is not the comedic sniper he claims he is. He's not even a sniper. Nor is he a comic. Therfore he certainly is not a comedic sniper.
What I am really getting to is that Nils is really fat.
^^^
The above post is the best.post.ever. But I could also be a fake poster praising heaping fake praise on the previous poster calling out the fake mod who is calling out the real mod on a message board originated by a blogger posting fake stories about himself.
In other words, this could be a repeat story and totally made up.
PWJ opined on girls in the advice forum.
*gasp*
You mean some of you Tucker fly bois are heterosexual?!?
Just a little info from someone who runs a site with more traffic than Tugger's little homoerotic haven- let this end the discussion about his website.
I guarantee you Tucker does not make any more than $300 a month in advertising revenue off of his site. My guess? Maybe $100-$150.
I GUARANTEE YOU.
It takes A LOT of traffic to even earn a paltry sum, and Tucker's traffic doesn't even qualify as paltry.
Some posters on here have this strange notion that he's earning $2,000-$3,000 a month or something.
Which he ain't.
I'm not sure of the range, but I do believe it is less than $1,000. I have a friend who runs a similar site in terms of traffic and demographics, and only recently did they stop asking for donations to keep it going.
Bandwidth is cheap... but pulling the plug has non-monetary impact on Tucker. I think he's a borderline social recluse and retard. No TMMB, no support structure for Otto.
"I guarantee you Tucker does not make any more than $300 a month in advertising revenue off of his site. My guess? Maybe $100-$150."
Yeah, that always seemed to me a lot more likely than the thousands people were claiming. Those ads he has just can not pay very much at all. I compare to Something Awful which has all sorts of traffic and all sorts of ads and a simply huge userbase and STILL needs its tenbux. Message boards aren't money makers, particularly when the advertisers are that minimal.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if at this point the site isn't even paying for itself. In which case closing it would be a (gasp) sound business decision on Tucker's part.
"But before I reveal all on Monday, I do want to leave you with this tantalizing tidbit. Nils Parker is not the comedic sniper he claims he is. He's not even a sniper. Nor is he a comic. Therfore he certainly is not a comedic sniper."
He's not even funny even though he's really really fat.
Nils seems like he would be an ok guy to have over for beer and videogames.
He needs to bring his own chips though.
Where did it all go wrong?
1) Tucker putting way too much faith into the writing abilities of Nils Parker.
Please make additions where you see fit.
2) Tucker's father not using a coat hanger after he knocked up that airline stewardess.
Thursdays revenues: $26,623
$100 Per Screen Average
Total to Date: $1,301,109
Where's Tucker hiding? In the rafters above the garage?
3) Tucker calling Jamie Tarses a cunt...for someone as allegedly bright as he is, that was a stupid fucking thing to do.
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
4) Tucker picking Darko to produce and market the film, even though they've had limited success as producers and even less experience making comedies.
Yes they raised the money, but they've been horrid in every other aspect.
5) Tucker on insisting that he retain creative and marketing control. He doesn't have the brains, judgement or people skills for either.
HAHAHA; Google "aaron kellerman sling blade" and this is the first result:
http://members.calbar.ca.gov/search/member_detail.aspx?x=216161
He was suspended from the bar for failing to pay fees!!
5.) Tucker deciding that, rather than this being a fun fad-ride where he could make a few bucks and have a few crazy adventures, he was a serious artist and it was all about the art and changing entertainment forever.
6.) Nils' mother putting Crisco in his baby bottle.
original mod-who-fell-from-grace here. i know nothing about the message board shutting down, as i am not active there. however, if i had to guess, he will be wiping the board because he is really just wiping the criticism and starting over. its his life. it will stay up in some form. he will claim too many people were banned or not enough FOCUS:
but we all know its due to the criticism
Must.... sustain.... interest in.... Tucker. Fight off boredom.... don't give up.... paying attention.... now.
Fuck. No good.
Sorry Tucker, nothing left in the tank for you. Enjoy the rest of your days, whatever happens.
Oh shit, I found one of Nils' wedding photos on-line:
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/10/09/awkward-couples-photo-contest-winner/
Hi Tugger! That's a good point about people being responsible for their views.
For example, I predicted a $250,000 opening weekend, a 3 week run, $800,000 total.
Boy was I wrong! I've got douche all over my face!
Did you make any predictions about your movie?
since nils and his wife met online, his best man was Google.
I even sent Tucks that positive review on Spearhead. He never posted it. Maybe he didn't believe me when I said it was positive? Maybe too many people have been sending him reviews with "haha" type notes attached? I wonder why they'd be doing something like that? It certainly couldn't be due to anything our good friend Tucktucks has said or done.
^
Japanese spammer reminds me of a joke.
A blind guy walked by the fish market. He tipped his hat and said "Good morning ladies."
(bhadda-boom)
Tucker Max is the John Rocker of literature.
9:06 PM: That joke is gold. Thank you.
9:06, 11:18, if that's what you think pussy smells like, I feel verrrrry sorry for you.
--girl about to get fucked
tucker max can't handle criticism. that is why you cannot talk about opie and anthony or criticize him in any way. if he does accept a 'criticism' he will manipulate it in his brain so that you clearly do not understand, you are a moron, or you really complimented him. he probably has the lowest self confidence of anyone around. he lives in constant fear. his only self defense mechanism is to pretend he's fearless.
failed writer, failed artist, failed lawyer, failed restaurant worker, failed movie maker... successful crossbow salesman? successful private jet owner? yes please
If hes going to purge the boards make sure to archive your favorite "Tucker quote"
"Anything The Hangover can do, we can beat... .easily"
Tucker is purging the boards.
Nils is purging his dinner.
Too late on both counts. Damage assessment - total.
tucker's max was a stewardess. do you guys know what whores stewardesses are notorious for being? the one my buddy fucks is literally the dirtiest girl ive ever heard of existing. she asks him to write nasty things on her body in sharpie and send it to his friends e.g. "this cunt belongs to steve".
tucker hates women because his mom was a whore. guaranteed.
(corrected version - i was so excited to call tucker's mom a whore that i made an error)
tuckers max's mom was a stewardess. do you guys know what whores stewardesses are notorious for being? the one my buddy fucks is literally the dirtiest girl ive ever heard of existing. she asks him to write nasty things on her body in sharpie and send it to his friends e.g. "this cunt belongs to steve".
tucker hates women because his mom was a whore. guaranteed.
....
L
A
W
FUCKING
L
x Infinity....
I didn't even know this movie had come out already, and I was waiting for reviews or even a commercial on tv. But Jesus Christ on a stick, it didn't even get THAT!
That is truly priceless. Especially after all the hoop-law he was making it seem to be.
I'm going to go laugh myself to death now.
出張ホスト said...
女性会員様増加につき、当サイトの出張ホストが不足中です。女性の自宅やホテルに出向き、彼女たちの欲望を満たすお手伝いをしてくれる男性アルバイトをただいま募集しています。興味のある方はTOPページをご覧ください
Yes I know. Nils is so fat that when he broke his leg, gravy came out.
Nils is so fat, his blood type is Ragu.
From Nils' twitter:
Garry Shandling is on Real Time. He looks swollen, tight-faced & high off his ass. He was already ugly, now he looks like a balding tranny.
What is that old saying? Fat dugongs in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. What i'm trying to say is that Nils is a fat load of ugly fail.
At least Garry Shandling has a career, and didn't squander his wife's money.
Swollen? He weighs 150 lbs. less than you Nils. I guess what I'm trying to say is Nils is really fat.
"Garry Shandling is on Real Time. He looks swollen, tight-faced & high off his ass. He was already ugly, now he looks like a balding tranny."
Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day. I'm getting your point about Nils havinf put on a few pounds lately and maybe not being in top physical condition. In other words that Nils is really fat.
BUT, as much as I love Chandling and was a huge Larry Sanders fan, he clearly is not well. I'm guessing he is taking steroids for some sort of inflammatory condition. He's off his game and acted very strange on Real Time.
God help me, I'm agreeing with Nils for once.
"9:06, 11:18, if that's what you think pussy smells like, I feel verrrrry sorry for you.
--girl about to get fucked
10/16/2009 11:43 PM"
11:18 here. Two things:
First, that's cool you come here right before you fuck. Me too. Nothing like a little TDG to get me in the mood.
Second, you said you're about to get fucked. I figure that means you're about to get fucked by a guy.
I'm no Tucker Max, but I've been with enough girls to know that the fish joke isn't that far off base.
Chicks that don't shave/clean/or douce (ha) have rank vaginas.
Fish Joke Guy here...
Uh, if any females were offended, all apologies. Men like fish. We love it. We've been sailing the seven seas for 5,000 years dragging nets to catch fish. We spend small fortunes on bass boats, reels, bait gear and trolling motors to catch fish. Fishing for us is olfactory masturbation because women won't have sex with us 18 hours a day. If you want good oral, find a guy with a spincast and Evinrude.
Ladies.
What's with the recent round of bannings on the RMMB:JV, Tom00, Scotchcrotch, Kubla Kahn, and at least another half dozen with long posting histories and lots of rep points? Some of these guys were totally sucking Tucker's e cock up until recently. Is there a story there? Real Mods, Fake Mods? Anyone Bueler? Bueler?
Oh, and Nils looks like he could lose a few pounds. Well, maybe more than a few. OK, twist my arm and all, he basically is channelling "Fat Bastard."
"Some enterprising soul needs to copy all of Tucker's boastful remarks regarding Beer In Hell and paste them onto this blog, so Tucker can realize that they, like his herpes, will follow him forever."
There's an entire thread on IMDB dedicated to it.
"why are you guys still working on any of this?
you won! Tucker lost! it's pretty much over! go back to your basements and eating hot pockets."
Ha! I am eating a hot pocket! and laughing at Tucker Max at the same time! This isn't work, this is fun!
Prediction: Tugger starts charging for his messageboard.
"Some enterprising soul needs to copy all of Tucker's boastful remarks"
There's an entire doucebagblog devoted to it.
Admittedly, you have to read back through 60+ pages of mixed spam, bad jokes, discussions and vicious virulent boiling white-hot hatred, but most of the good posts have been c&p'd here already.
LET THE BANNINNATION BEGIN
Prediction: Tugger starts charging for his messageboard.
I struggled with that idea as well. On the surface it might be a good idea, but he'll lose a sizable number of regulars. A message board needs a critical mass of posts to be "refresh worthy". Similarly the value of any network is heavily correlated with the number of nodes. What I'm trying to say is that Nils' mom says that her son is just big boned, and has a hormonal imbalance.
My guess is the movie section of the board just disappears into oblivion, and every future mention of it gets erased.
Nils isn't even the fattest one of his friends.
Actually, by Shrevesport standards, Nils is just portly. By the standards of places outside Shrevesport and most of Missisipi and West Virginia, people would run laps around Nils for exercise.
i think it doesn't matter at this point, so i will reveal tucker's big announcement:
Rudius College Online.
it will be an internet college, accredited by Max's Grille in Boca Raton, Florida, and also double accredited by Nils Parker's best friend the Hamburgler. The writing workshops will teach you to ignore the distiction between its/it's, whose/who's, and you/you're. you will totally learn to fumble around the english language just like tucker, dude! instead of citing sources, your footnotes should just say "100% true".
Four elective classes will be offered: Crossbow/MMA training; Respecting Women; Hating Your Mother Isn't So Unhealthy; and Writing Navy Seal Fanfiction (without being a Seal)
get your pussies ready and put on your thinking caps. you too will be able to sell 300k books with the help of your dad buying copious amounts of your books at strategic locations in NYC to artificially inflate your status on the best seller list.
-ryan holiday's intern
p.s. DONT ask me about a filmmaking/producing/screenwriting class. NO more emails about this. It will be for honors students only. More on this later.
You guys are so good at imitating Tucker I sometimes believe it's really him.
Get your pussies ready, ladies
Where the wilds things are starring Nils Parker
Get in my belly!! --Nils
I hope they have chinese food buffets in hell, starring nils parker
i think when tucker said they could outdo the hangover, what he meant was that Nils could eat more whoppers than zack galifinakis
Bixnoffer.
i wonder what kind of myspace angles nils used when he traded pics with his wife when they met online.
nils likes mcgriddles. in his mouth. YESTERDAY.
what a fat disgusting human
At least Nil's wife knows how if feels to be butt fucked by a garbage truck.
At least Nil's wife knows how if feels to be butt fucked by a garbage truck.
10/17/2009 2:32 PM
_____________________________________
Zing!
Will Rudius University have a class on irony?
Maybe it'll have a class on farting. I need to refine my technique.
why isn't Tucker updating his message boards?
Enough about Nils. Let's not forget that Tucker has tiny hands and man tits.
I enjoy soup.
So according to Twitter, Tucker has a new girlfriend. Well timed with his financial downfall, he will probably leech off of her. Dating Tucker will probably end up being a horrible financial decision for her.
Yeah, but I'm telling you people, I enjoy soup.
Look, people- I don't know any other way to tell you this.
I ENJOY SOME FUCKIN' SOUP.
Does everyone here remember the story Tucker told about how after screening his movie for a military base there were soldiers left wndering around saying:
'aw, damn it Sarg, but after seeing Tucker's movie he gone done ruined all other movies. I tried to watch the Hangover but it jus didn't work after Tucker's movie, whatever it were called"
Anybody want to make bets which Gawker posts are the fake ones that TDG's crew planted in RMMB?
I could care less which ones are fake. It's just funny as fuck that the infiltration of Tucker's retarded board goes that deep.
Nice job TDG.
so I went to Tucker's message boards to read some of his older blog entries such as "why you make art" (from July) and "Yes, we showed the movie in Cannes - May 27, 2009" but the site says "page not found."
Is removing all these old threads?
I found Cannes link.
Yes, we showed the movie in Cannes
May 27, 2009
This is already out of the bag in Hollywood, so I might as well talk about it:
OK, so I think I may have kinda lied to you guys, but not on purpose. I have said in the past that we weren’t taking this movie to any film festivals to try to get awards or to get distribution, since we can get distribution without it. And that’s true–we didn’t need to take it to a festival to get distribution. DOMESTIC distribution, which is all I really care about.
But, in order to get foreign distribution, the decision was made by Darko to take the movie to Cannes and screen the movie for buyers. None of us went with the movie to do the Cannes thing, because it wasn’t in competition and we’d already secured domestic distribution and this was just a screening for foreign territory buyers, so the only person to go with the movie was our foreign sales rep.
Now, every person who works in movie sales is, well…to put it politely, a salesman. This includes our foreign sales rep. Of course he told us that the movie killed and got tons of laughs and everything is sunshine and kittens, but I stopped listening to sales guys at least two years ago. It’s not that I thought he was lying, but it’s his job to hype the movie, so I discounted his comments as salesman puffery. Plus, comedy rarely if ever translates between cultures, and this comedy especially is very American, so I had emotionally checked out of the foreign market long ago. If we do well there great, if not, whatever.
Then, last week I got this email from my assistant on the movie, Greg:
“I’m sure you already have heard this, but someone I know from school just told me BIH played super well at Cannes. Apparently, it was the one movie in Cannes that all the assistants wanted to get into. Sold out the market screening and “had a lot of laughs.” Just FYI.”
Wow. Assistants flooding a movie in Cannes? That doesn’t happen. But one report is just that: one report, especially when it comes second hand. Then yesterday I got this email:
“I saw your movie at the Cannes Film Festival. I was an intern working under the American Pavilion there and a bunch of us interns went and saw the first screening. My friends and I were the first ones there because we wanted to make sure we got in after the marketers. Anyways, thought you should know that I am pretty sure it did well due to the fact that all the interns are college students and the majority of us have read your book. In fact, because we liked it so much, one of the marketers actually turned around and asked us if we had been paid to go and watch the movie. Clearly this guy was not in the demographic the movie was trying to reach. Lucky for you, the interns were there to make sure that your movie was received well by everyone in the screening. Thought you would like to know since I am pretty sure you weren’t in Cannes (though a few of us were looking for you just in case you were).
..wait for it..
The movie was great and I will make sure to tell all my friends to go see it.”
I have since talked to two other people–the only two people I know who were in Cannes–and both said they had heard similar things, with one even saying his assistant was one of the ones who went to the screening.
We did sell some territories, and are in the process of selling a few more, but I am not allowed to talk about the specific foreign sales results yet. But I don’t really care about that aspect of this situation–who in America cares about foreign sales (except the people who have points on the movie, of course)?
What really makes me smile is that, without any press or buzz or promotion, both screenings were packed with American assistants, to the point where the marketers thought we paying people to show up. You can’t buy that sort of excitement. You can only get it by making something great.
I keep telling you guys, the evidence is there to see this, you just have to know where to look:
This thing is going to be so much bigger than anyone is predicting right now.
Well…anyone but me.
EDIT 1: And yeah, I guess Charlie Hoehn predicted it too.
EDIT 2: I wasn’t going to mention this, but fuck it, I am too arrogant not to:
David Zuckerman was the first one to say the words “oscar” and “screenplay” to Nils and I in the same sentence. I scoffed at him, thinking he was just being nice to me.
Well, I have had someone else say that. Not to me, but to other people. And not just some scrub, but someone who has an idea of what they are talking about. Their exact quote was something to the extent of “sleeper nomination for best adapted screenplay.” I wasn’t there, I can’t confirm this, but…I was told this by someone who has no reason to lie to me.
Look, I expect massive, massive commercial success for this movie. No theatrical gross you could tell me would shock me for this movie. But any sort of awards-type recognition–that will shock me. I would be blown away by an MTV movie awards nomination, much less a real awards show nom. Not because I think the script doesn’t deserve it, but because we are such outsiders and because this movie is so different in so many ways, I just don’t think it’ll happen. I would take any bets against that happening. No fucking way the Academy is going to nominate two random guys who made an indie movie and aren’t even in the WGA. No way.
I don’t expect any recognition of my work–book, website, movie, whatever–ever from any mainstream organization of any sort. At least not for a long time. But that’s OK–as long as fans love it, I am happy.
EDIT 3: Someone sent me this link, which is from the LA Times movie forum. No idea who wrote that.
EDIT 4: I guess Bunny was actually the first to tell me that our script would get Oscar attention. But she is kooky and usually way far ahead of her time, so I never pay attention to her predictions.
L'il magic sleep-gun,
You just don't have what I need,
That ominous hummm.
Hey tugger,
Why is it that pretty much everything you've written the past two years has been proven to be wrong? Not just wrong, but TUGGER MAX WRONG?
tucker....do you think being passive aggressive with shreveport, La and telling the entire crew to fuck off and calling them and their town cry babies and white trash had anything to do with the film's massive failure?
wow, losers still posting on this blog.
go back to the basement, nothing to see here folks.
"Actually, by Shrevesport standards, Nils is just portly. By the standards of places outside Shrevesport and most of Missisipi and West Virginia, people would run laps around Nils for exercise."
Quit making fun of my state of fatasses you fucking anonymous douche.
At least Nil's wife knows how if feels to be butt fucked by a garbage truck.
Fucking lol.
i found this other posting from tucker, which he's since deleted. this is from 2008
>i> Tucker Max writes:
look guys, i WASNT plannning on releasing this info until after the summer, but the cat is out of the bag in hollywood. everyone is talking about this. here is an email i received:
bonjour monseiur max, allow me to introduce myself. my name is monseiur Gérard Depardieu Cannes III. I am king of the cannes film festival - perhaps you recognize my last name, monseiur.
i see your movie and it is extravagant. the french fries fell out of my royal mouth. if they ever come out with a movie called 'zee hangover' your movie will surely beat it.
might i suggest a crossbow range for expansion of your enterprise?
signed,
lord cannes
Okay, nobody seems even the least bit interested in the fact that I fucking enjoy the hell out of delicious soup. Should I stop posting about it?
Ryan Holiday's Intern: the most devilishly sarcastic poster here.
No, I want to hear much more about your love of soup. And the benefits of Ukrainian mail-order brides, if that's your thing.
/deliberately fishing for trolls.
Sorry!
I also, at times, enjoy a fine steaming bowl of wholesome soup and soup-related products.
How couldn't you? Rice, vegetables, small portions of meat and a silky, shimmering, salty broth.
Perhaps Tucker can revolutionize the soup industry.
"I will turn the soup industry on it's head. People that have never even heard of me thoroughly enjoy my soup and soup related products, including my crackers, spoons and specialty line of soup bowls.
I just got this email from a soldier in {redacted}:
"Tucker,
I've never even heard of you, but I just had a conversation with a soldier I wanted to share concerning your soup and soup-related products such as crackers and specialty bowls.
We were flying on a mission to {redacted} and a soldier came up to me to speak with me about various soup products, crackers, and specialty soup spoons.
Soldier: (In Southern accent) Sar, I just want to tell you I love Tucker's soups. Not like them Campbells Soups that are all dry and non-nutritious."
Me: Where can I try his soups?
Soldier: In the mess, Sar, its the best soups and soup related products I ever done eat."
Just thought I'd share Tucker, and he had never heard of you before your soup came out. Keep up the good soup related work Tucker.
Here's an idea for I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL 2:
After the events of I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL 2, the Tucker character finds sudden internet fame (due mainly to his spamming of message boards and entertainment sites with links to his material) and manages to finagle that into a book deal, and then a movie deal. He does a lot of drunken fucking of stupid girls, pisssing, shitting, and vomitting on his way to the "top" and falls out with his friends (the other two guys in the movie) in the process (both of whom get married and get real jobs). The only one who stands beside him Tucker's old girlfriend RabbitFace, but he ignores and abuses her.
The movie is a tremendous bomb, and Tucker is financially and socially ruined. Crapping over the hotel lobby looks like paradise compared to this. There is no possible way it can be spun into a funny story, no matter how much he excretes.
At the end, Tucker, a broken man and subject of national shame and ridicule, is about to commit suicide. . . until he sees a picture of RabbitFace. He rushes to the airport (she's about to take off for an extended holiday in Kenya due to her shame at being involved with Tucker) and makes an impassioned speech on the tarmac swearing his love to her, that he's seen the error of his ways, etc.
The take off to Kenya together and end up doing volunteer work for the Red Cross with starving children.
THE END.
Am I the only one here who enjoys eating my own poop?
Just wondering.
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
I recommend all single American guys marry Ukrainian girls. Best women in the world! Blonde and thin and hot and love sex! No feminist bullshit!
You fucking losers. You stupid, pathetic haters just can't STAND that Tucker's movie is blowing up, can you? You asshole-eating fucktards will come up with ANYthing to explain away why the movie's making so much money, and why Tucker's suddenly EVERYWHERE.
Well, real fans like me KNEW he wasn't full of shit when he predicted that he was going to take Hollywood and the mainstream media by storm, and you raging dickheads can keep coming up with excuses as to why Tucker's name is on everyone's lips, but at the end of the day, he was totally right, and you all were pathetically wrong, and nothing you say will change that.
I hope Tucker swoops down and blows the roof off your shitty houses in his private jet. Get used to the name 'Tucker Max'- after all the money he's made Darko and his investors, he's a hot property in Hollywood, and you're going to be hearing a LOT about him from now on.
Losers.
As the original soup girl.... I approve of the new guy who also enjoys soup.
This board has my heart but what I'm really trying to say is that Nils might enjoy some soup.
Hey, original soup girl, it's me, the original soup guy (OSG). We should totally date. We can go to a restaurant and enjoy some delicious soup. Also, we could have ice cream for dessert, because Nils is totally fucking fat as all hell. What do you say, baby?
Nils only likes soup if there's a pound of peanut butter mixed in.
I recommend all ukranian girls get their pussies ready!
I always thought TATguy was the original soup guy. What could it all mean?
Whoever said the TMMB is shutting down might be on to something. Tucker has flat out stopped posting, the mods in the advice forum keep alluding to the upcoming week, scooter has his email address as his user title (for keeping in touch?). If that turns out to be true, it adds an extra layer of hilarity. Shutting that boad down without warning is a bit of an f you to his active fans. Mass banning his long time fans beforehand is like giving his loyalist followes the double finnger. I hope that's true.
Boxofficemojo didn't even track IHTSBIH this weekend. I'm thinking it might have had a sub 50k weekend. Fail.
Regarding the boards shutting down: If you go back about 2 months and many of pages ... you will see that I predicted it!
If it comes true, I am most awesome. Trust me and shit.
Really, I'm just trying to make my ego bigger than Nils.
Tucker doesn't make any money off his message board. His Busted Tees ad is just an affiliate link, he might get two commissions off that per year if he's lucky. The message board probably loses money all things considered.
^^^
I doubt if he makes money on it either, as I was generously guessing the income was a few hundred.
I still don't think he'll shut it down, as he'll lose access to web groupies. He's going to be asked tons of questions about the failure of "Beer in Hell". In the months to follow you know some hater is going to register and announce Tucker's bankruptcy filing.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/25/books/bestseller/bestpapernonfiction.html
It seems that Tucker made it to No1 on the New York Times best-seller list.
I don't think damaged whores will stop emailing him just because he shuts down his message board.
people are obsessed to the point that they created a blog to wish his failure.
what could it all mean?
Let's not forget about Horse-faced Beth.
If TMMB shuts down Monday, then Tucker is a far bigger pussy than I thought.
I think this is fan boy bullshit. Tucker is not closing TMMB.
Anyone a user on the board? Ask him the question straight out - are you shutting dow/purging the boards/site? At the very least it will start a rumour and piss him off. At best it will burst his surpise bubble.
Yes I am learning a lot, and in some ways it is very fun making a movie, but if the movie were to bomb, I won't be able to put a nice spin on it. It would devastate me.
-Tucker Max
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=20811&page=5
Why would Tugger close down his message boards? He has to make more money off ads than he spends on bandwidth for his domain. I never believed him when he claimed to make $100k per year off this website, but he must be making at least a few thousand dollars a year.
the idea of tucker going 'bankrupt' is pretty funny. does he even own a car? what are they going to take? his white kmart tshirts and his rudius media online empire? oh no, who will then take control of the restructured ryanholiday.net and thebunny.org?!!!!?
So wait, the movie didn't make more than $1180 for the weekend? On 130 screens?
Can this be confirmed?
I've heard that tugger has a chevy impala, though I don't know if he owns it or is leasing it or stole it from bunny (or ryan).
I thought a couple years ago he bought a ford explorer. He had a fucking thread on what car to buy, and was waiting for the "fuck you" money before buying something else.
IHTSBIH got pulled from theaters on Friday, which is why it wasn't listed on BOMojo. It's last shows were on Thursday October 15th.
^
Bullshit.
Thanks for confirming what I thought: You Tucker faggots are spreading disinformation.
One of the links to RMMB is gone from tuckermax.com. It's still working though.
I don't think I've seen these on IMDB, pmc, TDG, etc. feel free to post them (from 7/21/08)
"I don’t think for a minute that this movie is going to be anything but a massive, genre-defining hit. I think we are going to knock this out of the park, it’s going to be huge, we’re all going to get rich and make a bunch of awesome sequels, and everyone associated with it will always look back on this as being a landmark time in their life, both financially and creatively."
and
"I can see exactly how this is going to play out. Matt is going to nail this role to the wall. His amazing performance is going to rocket him to the top of the A-List, and he’ll be one of the hottest actor celebs in America (he’ll deserve it)."
You fucking losers. You stupid, pathetic haters just can't STAND that Tucker's movie is blowing up, can you? You asshole-eating fucktards will come up with ANYthing to explain away why the movie's making so much money, and why Tucker's suddenly EVERYWHERE.
Well, real fans like me KNEW he wasn't full of shit when he predicted that he was going to take Hollywood and the mainstream media by storm, and you raging dickheads can keep coming up with excuses as to why Tucker's name is on everyone's lips, but at the end of the day, he was totally right, and you all were pathetically wrong, and nothing you say will change that.
I hope Tucker swoops down and blows the roof off your shitty houses in his private jet. Get used to the name 'Tucker Max'- after all the money he's made Darko and his investors, he's a hot property in Hollywood, and you're going to be hearing a LOT about him from now on.
Losers.
Lah dee dah.
"Why would Tugger close down his message boards? He has to make more money off ads than he spends on bandwidth for his domain. I never believed him when he claimed to make $100k per year off this website, but he must be making at least a few thousand dollars a year."
If you think for a second that Tucker makes any bank of that message board, you are retarded. The banner ads are just affiliate links, who the hell is buying enough Busted Tees for Tucker to see any revenue?
"Thanks for confirming what I thought: You Tucker faggots are spreading disinformation."
I'm sorry, where did we say that the movie was a "genre defining comedy"? Or that we were going to be able to build a crossbow range in an airplane/bar? Or that we had massive distribution that would make IHTSBIH indistinguishable from any other Hollywood film?
Is that what you mean when you say "faggots are spreading disinformation"?
Also you're saying that his movie, having 130 seperate theaters made less than 1180 dollars. So would you rather have the bullshit (that it was pulled from theaters) or that the movie was released in 130 theaters and made less than 1180 dollars total? That's not even 10 dollars a theater. Is that what you're trying to say?
Did anybody notice that most of those people on the RMMB who got quoted in the Gawker article have been banned?
They are banning tons of people on the RMMB today and Boozy has been posting, "GO FUCK YOURSELF" as his standard reply all day.
There is a meltdown in process.
Posters who have been on the board since 2004 are being banned left and right.
The writing is on the wall, and the fat lady, I mean Nils is singing.
Tucker has Tucker Max Failed and the shitstorm has come.
I asked a mod what was going on in the TMMB and apparently it's being deleted at midnight tonight.
It was a good ride, I had fun there and yes I like Tucker Max's writing, even if I don't like the guy personally.
from IMDb IHTSBiH Board
Tucker's message boards will be up and running as usual. Don't fall for the fakeout bullshit.
It's a diversion tactic.
Here's the catch-22 for Tucker. He's laying low in Hollywood drowning his sorrows and all. He stopped posting on his forums because of the sheer fact that his film failed far beyond even the haters predictions. It tanked in the worst way possible and now he realizes all the dumbass shit he was saying and how foolish he looks in the eyes of the world--family, friends and Hollywood included.
But now--this week--his book is finally in the #1 spot of the NYT paperback supplemental list. Granted its never been on the official hardcover NYT non-fiction list like Jim Norton or Artie Lange, BUT HEY, it's #1. That's gotta be cool. So why isn't he talking about it? Because he's in hiding. Sure he'd love to boast about his book as he has done for the last 4 years, but now is not the time.
You watch though. In the next month "#1 bestseller" will be thrown around more than a frisbee at a stoner beach. Just not tonight. Sleep it off Tucker. It'll be safe to come out soon enough.
This is a tweet from this morning.
TuckerMax Four different years on the best seller list, FINALLY my book hits #1: http://su.pr/4wFuTq #fb
But he has said zero on RMMB. I think you are right about him hiding.
There is just no way to spin the movie. It bombed, has limited chances on DVD and is a complete Tucker Max Fail
If Tucker unplugs his message board, I'll have to revise my estimated DVD sales for "Beer in Hell".
Earlier estimate: 25,000 DVDs sold
Revised: 24,800 DVDs sold
Originally Posted by suapyg:
So why wouldn't he go all in, and incite all this *beep* to surround it all, to bet on himself in a gamble that says if the movie is great and funny and successful, then he will have nurtured a legend around it, and can laugh at all these people who doubt or hate him? The only thing he has to lose, is everything.
Then Tucker:
People, if you want to understand my media strategy in a nutshell, there it is. For my whole life, I have always bet on myself. This movie is no different. Everything I am doing, my entire strategy is based on the movie being great. If you understand that, you should be able to figure out the rest.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=22985&page=4
Tucker bet it all on this shitty movie. His money, his reputation, future books (He will have to change AFF to Assholes Finish 23 on Opening Weekend), he bet it all. And douchebag screwed his dog.
He is know going to take his ball and go home. Unless he doesn't even have rent money for October now.
Why bother banning people if they're just shutting it down? I'm sticking by my theory, they're going for a complete reboot. Get rid of anyone that knows too much, and completely delete the movie forum.
I was on the board, clicked to go back, and that message came up. Guess they are indeed shutting it down. It's got to be monetary, Tucker has enough dumbass mods to run the board while he's not there.
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