The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 12601 – 12800 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Ok dumbasses, here's a numbered list explaining things to you in simple terms.
1. I'm Tucker Max.
2. Nils is smart.
C. The movie is great art.
VII. You're just dense.
10^8. You don't get it.
Um. I fucked your girlfriend and you're jealous.
Lastly. I'm better than you.
Next. It was their fault.
π. Fuck you. Banned.
Billboard has comprehensive DVD sales and rental charts as well as PPV sales.
He's not going to worm his way out of this one.
Whoa, wait a minute.
Is mister Private Jet F.U. MONEY Assholedomus of Hollywood just pretending that no one will notice his film tanked?
"...we are going to knock this out of the park, it’s going to be huge, we’re all going to get rich and make a bunch of awesome sequels, and everyone associated with it will always look back on this as being a landmark time in their life, both financially and creatively."
- Tucker Max, July 21, 2008
"DVD sales are verifiable."
I think he means he will lie about his DVD deal. Though, technically on the board he told everyone he gave FOX the upfront money on the DVD and took backend points.
Still...he could lie about how much he is getting from each DVD sale.
Hard to lie about getting rich off of DVD sales after you're forced to declare bankruptcy.
He's not going to make any money on the DVD. He still needs to pay back at least 10.5-11 million after theatrical.
He didn't get a "choice deal", since the deal was never signed with Fox, because FOX would never buy a project and give somebody a "choice deal" without seeing what the BO of the movie was going to be.
Tucker got the personality thing mixed up. He thinks that if him being an asshole and making fun of people that people are going to be drawn to that
Sure you dont want to be wimpy puss but dude draw the line between being drunk at a bar and then being a complete asshole to the very people that are buying your book and movie tickets
its sad that hes such an idiot but shit he deserves it.
Listen dudes, I just got 20 different emails from masculinity coaches around the country, and here is one: (and DUDES, dont email me anymore for their names - they asked me to keep them anonymous)
Hey Tucker, I am (redacted) from (redacted) and I teach men how to be masculine. Day one of our course I hand out your book. Keep up the good work.
(Redacted)
Hey Tucker, it's (redacted). I'm the coolest one of your friends. Not you.
Take care,
(redacted)
P.S. Nils has a Ph.D. in fatness.
nils slays the poon. with his penis. and girls like it... a lot. in their vaginas.
true story.
Tucker's movie and Hollywood career have been officially (Redacted).
all the low self esteem broken whores tucker has sex with, we should try to guess how many STDs he has. i say over 5 including hepatitis, which isnt technically an STD but he's got it
everyone on this blog knows how much tucker hates criticism, he even took down his reviews page within 2 weeks of the movie opening, but had it up for over a year before anyone saw the movie.
that said, THIS BLOG MUST EAT AWAY AT HIS SOUL!
hey tucker, that new paranormal film just called. they said lol.
jk. no one knows about your movie. and the ones who do, think its a cinematic abortion. die quietly, max.
"he even took down his reviews page within 2 weeks of the movie opening, but had it up for over a year before anyone saw the movie."
Wow, you're right...what a whiny little pussy.
"he even took down his reviews page within 2 weeks of the movie opening, but had it up for over a year before anyone saw the movie."
Wow, you're right...what a whiny little pussy.
_______________________________
Yeah, no joke. I mean, why not leave the reviews open, so that if someone wants to post a review, they can? He said something about how comments were off-topic, which is why he closed it, but why not just delete off-topic posts? I mean, the mods over there all seem to know how to use the 'delete post' function pretty well.
I guess that what I'm really trying to articulate, as best I know how, is that Nils is fat.
I mean, really, really, 'sweats when he blinks' fat.
nils is a disgusting human. didn't tucker and nils meet on the internet? wow, what a social guy tucker must be, outsourcing to the web to meet friends.... and broken whores who will sleep with him. gross.
nils is seriously an ugly and disgusting human. nils outside looks like tucker inside. gross.
"I mean, really, really, 'sweats when he blinks' fat."
hahahahahahaha... zing!
Anyone remember Tucker's comments that he'd post every review, good or bad?
Um, yeah, about that...
Date: Mon, 11 Feb 2008 21:53:34 -0800
From: tuckermax@gmail.com
To: Mr. X@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Movie Website
Movie budget is 6 million. There are two leads (Tucker and Aaron) and they will be played by nobodies. The two main supporting roles will probably by nobodies as well, though we may get mid level names. I am guessing we open at 20-25 million, and North American gross will end up slightly over 100 million total. About the same as Juno, give or take.
What do you want to bet? Name it, but make it worth my while. I don't play around with piddly *beep*
And beyond that, you are COMPLETELY missing the point of the movie website, and what I am going to accomplish by it. It's comical really. You even make my point for me in your email, yet you don't see it.
I love people like you. It's because of people like you that I am going to totally disrupt the entertainment business. You people--pretty much everyone in the entertainment business--have no ability to see anything other than what already exists. It's awesome. So much opportunity out there because of you people.
LOLZ TUCKER. EVERYONE MISSES THE POINT EXCEPT FOR YOU!!!! olol>
The review thread's there, but it's closed. Still, the move of a gaping vagina.
Who wants to bet that Tucker is buying up tickets for weekday screenings in order to boost his numbers?
"Who wants to bet that Tucker is buying up tickets for weekday screenings in order to boost his numbers?"
I'm game. The stakes shall be One American Dollar donated by the loser to the "Tucker Max is a Lying Douchebag Who is Now Bankrupt fund".
Proof can consist of an e-mail admission by Tucker of such disreputable behavior, or a new, as of yet unforeseen submission of Tucker's lisp and/or douchebaggery.
I shall pay in full immediately as soon as you can show that Tucker is purchasing tickets on weekdays in the furtherance of a gambit to artificially boost the sales figures of his terrible movie.
-YG
Addendum: I also propose that I can embark from Leicester Square at the hour of Noon To-Morrow, and traverse the Globe arriving back at the same point of Embarkation 80 days hence. Would you have that wager, Good Sir?
OMG two weeks out and it has yet to reach $1m.
This much be so painful for Tucker et el. I almost feel a kind of regret or sympathy......
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Wait...wait....
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!
^^^
So, reading between the lines, and forgive me if I'm wrong, what you are trying to say is that Nils is fat? yes?
I'd now like to summarize the entirety of 13,160 comments on this board:
1. Tucker is not even the coolest one of his friends.
2. Nils is fat.
3. Tucker is an unbelievable failure of a fucking primma-donna omega-male douchebag posing as a successful alpha-male douchebag. Either way, no physical bag can actually contain his monolithic douchedom.
Discuss.
Also:
4. Erin Leigh Tyler may or may not be a filthy cunt whore
5. Marnie Tyler likes it in the ass.
6. Tucker is on the verge of psychotic collapse.
www.archive.org
might be able to find deleted entries there.
I officially declare this blog dead.
--TAT guy
ZOMBIE BLOG WANTS BRAAAAAAAAINS
There are degrees of fatness.
True.
And Tucker has a Master's Degree in Small Body Parts
"The movie is still doing well enough to expand into new theaters, so here is the complete Week 3 Theater List, any of which you should be able to find on any movie ticket site."
Tuckeroo neglected to mention that other theaters are dropping it; 3 of the movie theaters around here (Chicago south suburbs)won't be carrying it past today...
Time to revisit Tuckerolino!
http://www.griffinwrites.com/it-begins/
"I had worked my ass off for months to get myself in this position. ... It sounds lame, but I worked my ass off to put myself in a position to work on the tour. ... . I immediately began working my ass off "
hahahahahahahahaha lamer luser dummy your ass is certainly in the position
Bob Gosse on working with Tucker Max:
LAist: How was it working with a guy like Tucker? My impression of him is that he's almost a brand, and he's very conscious of his brand. And this movie is his first foray into a new type of media. So typically a director of a movie has a lot of control, but I'm thinking that on this movie Tucker would at least try to exert a great deal of influence. What was the balance like when working with him?
Gosse: Well, making the film the balance was pretty even. I encouraged -- to my best interest -- to make sure that he was involved while I was making it. Because there are certain things -- because I wasn't a fan of the book or the blog or I didn't understand the audience -- it was in my best interest to have him close to me so I understood things. Because I had an audience to get things right with. On the other side, he had no idea what he was doing. He was new to the filmmaking process, and he would get very frightened when he didn't understand things. He didn't understand initially the idea of coverage or that it takes an hour and a half to move the camera and re-set the track and put the wedges under the tracks so that the dolly is even. Then we'd have to tweak the lights and actors would have to go back to make-up. The whole thing confused him. He was very, very overwhelmed. And even during pre-production I'd say, "Hey, Tucker, we're going to go scout this strip club. You should come check it out." And he would come and bring his dog, but he wouldn't understand what we were doing. We were checking the power sources, seeing where we could park the trucks, where would we take our meals, where could we go to the bathroom, could we get air-conditioning units moved in -- he just got spooked a little bit. You know? And the actual shooting of the film was the same thing. He would periodically spin out, and he would berate a crew member irresponsibly for no other reason than he didn't know what he was talking about. And he didn't do it with any malice. He was just doing it because he wanted to participate.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It was all true all along and he didn't see it. Can you imagine being one of his fans and being duped into this crap by a phony?
Look guyth, Tucker hath an Eathter Egg Hunt on hith methage board!!!!
It is my real phone number.
I am completely serious.
It’s not a phone that I got to put in the movie. It is the real phone number I have had for at least five years.
If you know me and have my number, go see the movie and you’ll hear it, right there on screen. If you don’t believe me, try it and watch what happens. Dial that number and it’ll ring to my real phone. I probably won’t answer since I usually don’t answer calls from numbers not stored in my phone, but at the very least, you’re going to get my voicemail.
If you still don’t believe me, watch the movie, put the number in your phone, and next time you meet me, pull out your phone and call that number. I’ll take my phone out of my pocket and show it you as it rings, with your number on it.
And no, I’m not changing that number now. It’s going to be my phone for the foreseeable future, no matter how poor of a decision this was.
^^
Not all that brave when you'll be facing bankruptcy in a month and living at the YMCA.
An Easter Egg Hunt to promote "Beer in Hell"?
Fucking Revolutionary!
The revolution will not be televised, or shown in prominent movie theaters...you can catch it at the Discount Cinema in Tuscon.
"If you still don’t believe me, watch the movie, put the number in your phone, and next time you meet me, pull out your phone and call that number. I’ll take my phone out of my pocket and show it you as it rings, with your number on it."
Someone will eventually get around to posting Tucker's phone number here.
Please resist calling the number.
Seriously, Tucker is now waiting for the phone to ring like that sad girl who doesn't know she's already been dumped (or about to get dumped from a dozen theaters around the country).
Let Tucker know how much you don't care by not calling him. Isn't it much more satisfying to let him have the slow torture of discovering that he's so irrelevant that he's not even worth a crank call?
Hollywood's not calling. Neither should you.
Committee admits: "We did it for the lulz"
Griffin stubbornly resists trolling.
AS a professional troll, I take umbrage at the fact that my excellent stupidity keeps getting rewritten to sound sane and coherent. Even when I asked him a halfway fair question that he actually answered (with corporate spintalk, which is only fair) he saw fit to edit my retard spelling into something gramnatically correct. How the hell can I build a reputation as a flailing retard-child if Canadanian-type controlling personalities insist on forcing me into a mold that makes me look better than I am?
UNFAIR.
I saw that post. I thought it was pretty funnny. This one is better though. ^^^^
How the hell can I build a reputation as a flailing retard-child if Canadanian-type controlling personalities insist on forcing me into a mold that makes me look better than I am?
UNFAIR.
ahahaha Well at least douchebag jr. seems to have a sense of humor about these things. I thought company policy was to delete everything?
The following writers think that Tucker Max is a douchebag.
http://www.mlive.com/movies/index.ssf/2009/10/i_hope_they_serve_beer_in_hell.html
http://www.boston.com/ae/movies/articles/2009/10/09/movie_capsule_reviews/?page=2
1 1/2 stars
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell Web author and novelist Tucker Max brings his bad-boy tales of binge-drinking and serial fornication to the screen. For a remake of “The Hangover’’ that appears to be made by drunk, entitled frat boys on a budget consisting solely of their parents’ credit cards, it’s slightly better than you’d expect. (105 min., R) (Ty Burr)
http://dallasmorningviewsblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/10/on-tucker-max-t.html
I know that I am a teenage boy and that I am supposed to be completely infatuated with women. I should probably think that Max is the coolest guy in the world. But get real. Max is a user. I read a chapter of his book at Barnes & Noble. It's so sad.
The only thing sadder than his view on life is the women he exploits. Do they really feel so worthless that they have to degrade themselves and be subjects of his blog to feel good about themselves? They lack something that all people should have, human dignity. I feel so bad for them.
Max may be living the dream now, but he'll find soon enough that all the one-night stands in the world don't add up to real friends or true love.
http://media.www.csucauldron.com/media/storage/paper516/news/2009/10/05/TheMeltingPot/Theres.A.Word.For.People.Like.Tucker.Max.But.We.Cant.Print.It-3794380.shtml
Max, a "writer," has "written" lots of stories like these, stories that chronicle the ups and downs of life as a single, male, beer-guzzling douche bag, some of which are included in his book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, which will soon be adapted to the big screen.
MORE...
http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=529390
The answers to such questions are further obfuscated by a society in which “Cosmopolitan” recommends sex positions promising “a sense of vulnerability and confinement” (apparently “a huge turn-on”). Or in which professional douchebag Tucker Max can, with a straight face, claim that he “got like 20 e-mails from women who were rape victims saying that, like, they supported me and loved my stuff, and they all had these stories, that were, like, heartbreaking, dude, because fucking rape sucks, dude, it’s not a joke.” (Touching, Tucker.)
Griffin: "As for me, I can say that even if a knew the movie wouldn’t make a cent, I would still do the tour over again in a heartbeat."
Yes, because even if the movie had made a billion dollars, you'd be paid the same amount. Zilch.
323-351-7640
Like, dude, man, fuck.
Tugger doesn't even have a 310 area code?
So Tucker's movie will break the 'One Million $$' mark this weekend after three weeks in release. Far from the $25,000,000 weekend he boldly predicted over a dozen times; and even farther from the $450 million The Hangover has done--a number his film was 'easily' going to beat, in addition to the $209 million for Wedding Crashers, which he was swatting away like a fly.
Whatever. Sometimes the American public just drops the ball.
Let's look at the breakdown for IHTSBIH's tally so far using very conservative numbers.
Domestic Box Office = $1,000,000 (projected BoxOffice Mojo)
MINUS Production budget <$6,000,000> (public record)
MINUS Prints and Advertising <$4,000,000> (public record)
MINUS Theater B.O. percentages <$600,000> (per contract)
MINUS Freestyle Booking Fees <$210,000> (per contract)
MINUS Bus Tour expenses <$465,000> (less ticket revenue, Darko numbers)
Current defecit: <$10,275,000>
The DVD release in January will lead to possibly--at best--a few hundred thousand DVDs being sold over a six-month period. But just for shitz-N-gigz let us entertain Tucker's fantasy and say that he sells ONE MILLION units. (That is the kind of number that films with a-list stars and $100 million plus box office might see in post theatrical DVD, but play along. Remember, this kid was going to buy a private jet just last month.)
FOX moves 1,000,000 units @ $20 a pop for $20,000,000
FOX--as always--takes 80% for marketing, overhead, etc etc.
The remaining profit participants will divide the 20% left. In this case $2 million dollars.
Let's see. Darko and their investors are in the hole for close to $11 million. So yeah, I see Tucker and Nils walking away millionaires. Easily.
i no longer assume the 6 million shooting budget and 4-6 million P&A numbers are separate entities. i think the whole thing cost about 5-6 million, including P&A costs.
this means that there is a slim theoretical hope that the movie will turn a profit, but yes, even in this rosy scenario, tucker max and nils will still be broke ass jokes.
dude the i-phone app kicks so much ass, Tucker, you keep defying what I thought hollywood was all about
truly a revolution
Hollywood numbers guy, your forgetting that Nils and Tucker will get residuals and a percentage of dvd sales from standard wga writers contract. About 2 per cent. Not millions but a few hundred tho to play around with.
@1:48 PM
While the production values are quite low, I haven't heard anyone else claim that this turkey had a total budget that low.
There's someone connected with the industry posting on IMDB. He passed on investing in "Beer in Hell" but seems to know a bit of detail. That poster hasn't disputed the $6 million production budget to date. While the film looks crappy, I chalk that up to incompetence of Gosse and the crew assembled.
@ 2:28 PM
Do tell more. I am not familiar with WGA contracts. I'm assuming 2%is from gross BO?
Prima facie, if "Beer" scores $1.5 million at the BO, Tucker and Nils will have $30,000 (that's 2 percent of the gross receipts). That's not a couple of hundred thousand, and I don't see how there's much money leftover after Fox eats 80% of the revenues on a DVD release.
Anyone know whether Tucker or Nils invested their own money (screenwriter/producer $$ or book royalties/advance) in this POS? If not, they might still be left with a tidy bit of coin.
"@ 2:28 PM
Do tell more. I am not familiar with WGA contracts. I'm assuming 2%is from gross BO?
Prima facie, if "Beer" scores $1.5 million at the BO, Tucker and Nils will have $30,000 (that's 2 percent of the gross receipts). That's not a couple of hundred thousand, and I don't see how there's much money leftover after Fox eats 80% of the revenues on a DVD release."
No. They get 1.5-2% of the producers gross on dvd sales. In HNGs example he used twenty million. On box office they get only what they were paid to write the script and nothing more.
Nils and Tucker are not in the WGA.
@ 2:44 PM
I stand corrected. Thanks.
I think the OP was guestimating high to give Tucker the benefit of the doubt. I don't think Tucker has much of a fan base, not to mention the negative reception from critics and audiences.
I doubt "Beer in Hell" will generate $500,000 in DVD sales.
"Anyone know whether Tucker or Nils invested their own money (screenwriter/producer $$ or book royalties/advance) in this POS? If not, they might still be left with a tidy bit of coin."
Where is anyone seeing this tidy bit of coin from? The film bombed. Do you not understand that yet? All hate and sour grapes aside the film was a disaster. It failed.
Over the past year Tucker had three or four industry people attempt to explain this to him in the nicest of terms on his message boards. They used facts and figures and basic logic to show him what he was up against. They all agreed that he made a movie and that was a great feat. But his logic and understanding of the system is flawed. He would not accept their advice and expertise. He knew better. And know the world knows he was wrong. He has already started laying blame on Darko, Freestyle and his publicity team. He threw Gosse under the bus long ago.
Sadly Tucker is under the impression that given the right amount of time; say, 50 more weeks; this thing will catch on like wildfire. He keeps bringing up Juno and Slumdog Millionaire as examples yet he forgets that both those films have a 93% rating on Rotten Tomatoes versus his 24% rating for Beer In Hell.
This is like Chris Farley in that Chippendales dance scene from SNL where after losing to Patrick Swayze, Tucker does one last dance move after the judges have already made up their minds.
"Hollywood numbers guy, your forgetting that Nils and Tucker will get residuals and a percentage of dvd sales from standard wga writers contract. About 2 per cent. Not millions but a few hundred tho to play around with."
I don't think the HNG is forgetting the WGA contract. Tucker has ranted about the WGA a number of times. He and Nils are not WGA members.
In retrospect wasn't that another brilliant "revolutionary" move by Tugger? Refusing a WGA contract - perhaps his only hope of seeing any gross profit from this turkey - in lieu of holding the copyright. Either way; the rights to the film will never revert back to him because of the investors/Darkos deficit, and, more damning, he deprived fat dugong Nils of any meals their collective %1.8 of ancillaries a WGA contract would've proffered them.
Surprised no one's posted this yet. Tucker's response to an article from a Harvard newspaper that makes him look completely stupid:
"This is so fucking comical I can't get over it. This bitch straight up LIES in this piece, and shamelessly:
Quote:
Logan: So I know you’re living your dream and you go around to different universities giving inspirational and…
Tucker: ASPIRATIONAL? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? DID YOU JUST SAY ASPIRATIONAL? DID YOU BUY YOUR WAY INTO HARVARD? Jesus Christ. I hope you are not a social sciences and humanities major. Aspirational? No the word you were looking for is inspirational. Oh my god. Oh my god. No more college interviews for me. Who are you writing this for anyway?
Logan: I didn’t say “aspir…” Nevermind. This is for The Harvard Crimson.
She absolutely, 100% said the word "aspirational." I mean, it's not even debatable, because what she said was "aspirational and inspirational." She used BOTH words, I remember it clearly, it was only like two days ago, and she even ARGUED WITH ME about that word.
All that is magically gone from the interview, because she altered the TAPED INTERVIEW to make herself look less stupid.
Wow.
I fucking defy them to post the full taped interview. I know they won't, because it will out them as liars, but that is so fucking shameful it's almost unbelievable. I mean, if you want to express all your bullshit subjective opinions, then do it, but to brazenly alter an interview to make yourself look better and the interviewee look worse borders on criminal."
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=21503&page=22
Am I missing something? He's furious from the interview because the reporter may have said "aspirational" instead of "inspirational"? How's it even possible to get worked up about that? I'm now convinced that one of the haters hijacked Tucker's account on RMMB and is making posts for him. And that Nils is still really fat.
And you gotta love how Tucker is posting in his own locked thread.
"Tucker isn't even the coolest one of his friends."
"Nils is really, really fat."
What's amazing is that you can rearrange the elements of these two statements in any other way, but be careful. Sometimes the results are true, sometimes not:
"Nils isn't even the fattest one of his friends."
False. Nils is, without question, the fattest one of his, or anyone else's, friends.
"Tucker is really, really cool."
False. Tucker is to 'cool' as 'Beer in Hell' is to 'successful'.
"Nils isn't even the coolest one of his friends."
I'm pretty sure that's probably true, though I'm suspicious of the implication that Nils has friends.
"Tucker is really, really fat."
Well, not yet. Whether Tucker ever becomes fat is really contingent upon whether or not the servers at Max's Grill (his father's restaurant in Boca Raton, FL) get to eat unlimited amounts of food while they're on the clock. If not, Tucker's going to have to stretch those tips- I hear he has a lot of money to pay back.
Wordplay is fun!
Remember when a Tucker fanboy- I think the PSU reporter kid- misused "aspirational"?
this is a repeat story and totally made up. nice try, Mcbeefsmoker.
So Tucker's movie will break the 'One Million $$' mark this weekend after three weeks in release. Far from the $25,000,000 weekend he boldly predicted over a dozen times; and even farther from the $450 million The Hangover has done--a number his film was 'easily' going to beat, in addition to the $209 million for Wedding Crashers, which he was swatting away like a fly.
Whatever. Sometimes the American public just drops the ball.
Let's look at the breakdown for IHTSBIH's tally so far using very conservative numbers.
Domestic Box Office = $1,000,000 (projected BoxOffice Mojo)
MINUS Production budget <$6,000,000> (public record)
MINUS Prints and Advertising <$4,000,000> (public record)
MINUS Theater B.O. percentages <$600,000> (per contract)
MINUS Freestyle Booking Fees <$210,000> (per contract)
MINUS Bus Tour expenses <$465,000> (less ticket revenue, Darko numbers)
Current defecit: <$10,275,000>
The DVD release in January will lead to possibly--at best--a few hundred thousand DVDs being sold over a six-month period. But just for shitz-N-gigz let us entertain Tucker's fantasy and say that he sells ONE MILLION units. (That is the kind of number that films with a-list stars and $100 million plus box office might see in post theatrical DVD, but play along. Remember, this kid was going to buy a private jet just last month.)
FOX moves 1,000,000 units @ $20 a pop for $20,000,000
FOX--as always--takes 80% for marketing, overhead, etc etc.
The remaining profit participants will divide the 20% left. In this case $2 million dollars.
Let's see. Darko and their investors are in the hole for close to $11 million. So yeah, I see Tucker and Nils walking away millionaires. Easily.
From what I recall, Tucker didn't even qualify for WGA membership. He was bitching that he didn't have the required credits.
tucker's diction sucks cause he lisps like a homo with a cleft palate. plus he went to a 2nd tier school. why would he make fun of anyone else's pronunciation or having gone to harvard? is he crazy?
Insecurity. Tucker is unbelievably insecure about his own intellectual abilities. Take how he claims to have graduated from the University of Chicago with "highest honors"; most people would take this to mean he graduated summa cum laude, but he didn't, since the U of C doesn't award Latin distinctions. What it means is that he was awarded "General Honors," the only type awarded by the undergraduate college itself (the different departments do award their own individual honors as well); "General Honors" equates to a whopping 3.25 GPA (or above). But hey, why just write "Honors" or "General Honors" when you can be deliberately misleading?
Tucker's tendency towards self-promotion is truly a sight to behold.
Tucker will be WGA, but when he signed his agreement for the film he was not WGA. Same with Nils.
Did he actually graduate with highest honors, or, since like most of his stories (tainted with bullshit), maybe he just graduated and lies alot.
He's totally insecure, look at his GOTCHA moment with the Harvard student who did their interview. He comes off like a fucking novice and it doesn't make him look good.
Don't forget, he also flunked out of high school. The only reason he ended up at the University of Chicago was that, thanks to daddy's money, he was able to go to boarding school and get a "do-over" for his failed junior year (which also involved getting busted cheating on the AP U.S. history test). That, combined with being about to fully pay the tuition is the only reason he got in there.
don't forget: tugger edits a large number of his message board comments
I don't believe signing into a WGA late agreement now will retroactively give him a cut of the residuals. Even if he does join it isn't like anyone is gonna give him money to write another project.
Ha! I just discovered that this website is the fourth hit for douche bag on google. Tugger must be proud!
Ha! I just discovered that this website is the fourth hit for douche bag on google. Tugger must be proud!
Someone enterprising young artisan needs to make a Downfall 'Hitler meme' featuring Tucker Max being told of his miserable box office by his underlings.
Funny how now that Tucker's movie is about to break the 1 million dollar mark it seems that the new indicator for a film's success is, well, 1 million dollars. Tucker went on and on about how BIG this movie was going to be, how big of a star he was going to be and how much fuck you money and power he was going to have in the Tucker Max Hollywood system that would emerge from the wake of his giant, inevitable and unstopable success.
Can you image him and his college buddies and message board mods sitting around last month as he filled their heads with visions of them all flying to college football games aboard his private jet? These conversations happened and happened often.
Guys like Jon Tando didn't know what to do. They had opinions on the film that didn't jive with message and marching orders that Tucker dictated to his followers, but they didn't dare speak up for fear that they might be left behind, or worse yet, banned from the private jet.
Tucker talked about art and the hidden message of living the life you want, but at the end of the day it was always about three things. Money, power and attention. And a private jet. So that's four things. Tucker didn't get the money. Tucker was shown how powerless he truly is. There is no jet and there will never be a jet.
I feel bad for him and how awful this whole thing turned out. It could not have gone worse. Is he really that bad of a guy?
^^^ Yup. He is. Lament not his sufferings; rejoice, for cosmic justice is being served.
this blog full of haters, just like tucker's movie forum, is slowly becoming infested by the hangers on.
get over it, we won. he failed. end of story.
when I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom.
Let It Be.
one MEEEEEEEEELLYON dollares
Does anyone know where I might find a Tucker Max commemmorative lunchpail?
Two weeks from now, we'll all be watching some new UNICEF commercial filmed in some random Third World country.
As Sally Struthers barks and begs for us to send UNICEF a check, in the background we'll see a little 6year old boy sitting upon a burned tire and gnawing on a bird leg while wearing a surplus American T-shirt that reads:
"I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell."
(PS. And then someone will say "Tucker makes art" and the boy will immediately die of AIDS solely due to this board.)
I hope Nils' wife is raped and killed one night on her way home from work. I hope that she and Nils will have had a fight that morning, and that Nils will feel so bad about not having apologized for all the mean things he said during the fight, that he'll be broken and haunted until he keels over from a heart attack four years later after eating two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts.
^^^^
No. Nils' only real crime is writing a shit screenplay and hitching his ride to the wrong horse. Irregardless, that's just fucked up. Way to suck the funny right out of this blog.
What I'm really trying to say is, what happened to the nilsparkerisadoucebag bog?
Irregardless = Not a word
What I mean to say is that Nils is fat.
Life has 'fuck you banned' tucker max from success.
"Irregardless"
now THAT is fucked up
"Life has 'fuck you banned' tucker max from success."
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Current per screen averages
IHTSBIH / $178
the informant / 119
Fame / 78
pandorum / 81
all about steve / 61
julia and julia / 91
The Hangover / 116
district 9 / 89
Beer in Hell is BEATING virtually all current movies in per screen average. If this movie went wide it would be huge. Money is the only obstacle that kept IHTSBIH from the masses.
That isn't how per screen averages work. Also, good job comparing it to films that have been out for 4 months as opposed to 2 weeks. Fail.
My movie is a tremendousth successth!!! It has made one million dollarsth which was always my goal!!! Word of mouth is gathering and ticket salesth will soon go through the roof. I am certain that my masterpiece will haul in another $99 million over the next few weeksth to break the $100 million mark. I win and you haterzth loseth!!!
"Beer in Hell is BEATING virtually all current movies in per screen average. If this movie went wide it would be huge. Money is the only obstacle that kept IHTSBIH from the masses."
Please be sarcasm?
I like that name
Why does Tucker constantly call girls "sweetie" and "honey", in a condescending way? Does he think that helps get him laid?
"Beer in Hell is BEATING virtually all current movies in per screen average. If this movie went wide it would be huge. Money is the only obstacle that kept IHTSBIH from the masses."
Yeah, no it's not. Zombie Land, Paranormal Activity, Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs, ToyStory re-release, Surrogates, Invention of Lying, Capitalism a Love Story, Whip It, Bright Star, etc
are all higher. No shot at all.
Nils probably has insulin resistance.
Legit though; how far does the per screen average fall this week? $700 fail dollars? $600 fail dollars per fail screen?
Freestyle will keep finding low-rent theaters for "Beer in Hell":
1) New audiences ensure some degree of opening-weekend-like results,
2) They're already invested in the prints... they might as well close it in one theater and ship the print to another.
Since Darko is committed to a January DVD release, this film will be milked for weeks. I don't know the model, but I'm assuming that Darko will keep showing in select theaters until the incremental revenue cannot cover the incremental (per diem) costs per theater... or until the theater owners just drop the damn film in favor of one more likely to sell tickets.
I'm sad. Now that Tucker Max has failed, what's to become of me? I'm faaadingg...faaaadinggg.....
The film actually lost more theaters then it gained this week. They just reshuffled the prints to other theaters.
Main Entry: ir·re·gard·less
Pronunciation: \ˌir-i-ˈgärd-ləs\
Function: adverb
Etymology: probably blend of irrespective and regardless
Date: circa 1912
nonstandard : regardless
usage Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that “there is no such word.” There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.
So it's not a common or generally accepted word, but it's still found in Merriam-Webster, therefore, it's a word. So kill yourself, irregardless is not a word guy.
"Since Darko is committed to a January DVD release, this film will be milked for weeks. I don't know the model, but I'm assuming that Darko will keep showing in select theaters until the incremental revenue cannot cover the incremental (per diem) costs per theater... or until the theater owners just drop the damn film in favor of one more likely to sell tickets."
It's already lost incremental revenue last week. It cost them about 350K to expand last week, the movie didn't even make that back. His "expansion" is little more than him reshuffling the film prints to lower end theaters.
At this point his movie has actually lost money since September 25th. It makes some sense to try and shuffle the prints since they've already been made, but it's grasping at straws. The movie will never make it's investors a dime, nor will Tucker see any money (let alone FUCK YOU money) from this venture.
Tucker Max
319 Lafayette St #131
NY. NY 10012
323-351-7640
Nils Parker
400 Massachusetts Ave. NW #213 Washington, DC 20001
510-773-9669
So...I was fucking Tucker in the ass the other day and it was lulz.
Tucker,
Look at this.
1. Couples Retreat (Universal) NEW [3,000 theaters] $12.3M Fri, Est Wkd $37M
2. Zombieland (Sony) Week 2 [3,038] $4.7M Fri (-50%), Est Wkd $15M
3. Cloudy/Meatballs (Sony) Week 3 [2,992] $3.1M Fri, Est Wkd $13M
4. Paranormal Activity (Paramount) Week 3 [159] $2.5M Fri, Est Wkd $5.5M
5. Toy Story 3D (Disney) Week 2 [1,752] $1.9M Fri, Est Wkd $8.5M
6. Surrogates (Disney) Week 3 [2,992] $1.2M Fri, Est Wkd $4.5M
7. Invention Of Lying (Warner Bros) Week 2 [1,743] $1M Fri, Est Wkd
8. Whip It (Fox Searchlight) Week 2 [1,738] $885K Fri
9. Fame (MGM) Week 3 [3,110] $780K Fri
10. Capitalism: A Love Story (Overture) Week 3 [995] $760K Fri
What's missing?
" So kill yourself, irregardless is not a word guy."
Irregardless: not regardless, not without regard, with regard, with regard to something specific - that is, the exact opposite of the sense in which you used it.
So kill yourself, moron blabber guy
"If it turns out that this thing rides to a 210 million dollar box office based on it word of mouth starting in the 18-24 year old age group and in select internet circles and is regaled as a classic comedy--then I was right, for the right reasons, and I should be considered an expert. I called it before it happens, exactly how it would happen. If it crashes and burns, then I was completely wrong and I have no idea what I am talking about and shouldn't be making movies."
An then there is this one. Yes, he said this.
"I wasn’t going to mention this, but fuck it, I am too arrogant not to: David Zuckerman was the first one to say the words “oscar” and “screenplay” to Nils and I in the same sentence. I scoffed at him, thinking he was just being nice to me.
Well, I have had someone else say that. Not to me, but to other people. And not just some scrub, but someone who has an idea of what they are talking about. Their exact quote was something to the extent of “sleeper nomination for best adapted screenplay.” I wasn’t there, I can’t confirm this, but…I was told this by someone who has no reason to lie to me."
Art = private jets
"But the thing is, this movie does have a star: Me.... ...my name is going to have a lot more pull than most actors, directors or writers. Fuck man, I could shit in a bag and draw more people than saw David Mamet’s last piece of crap (Redbelt)."
Redbelt: $2,345,941
IHTSBIH: $997,300
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LOL X 10
Tucker please superglue your lips shut before you speak another word!
"...That to me is going to be the funniest part of all of this: Watching the haterz try to explain away the huge success of the movie. Because make no mistake, that success is coming, and irony of ironies, they are actually HELPING to make it happen. Their hatred is helping to create the situation they are most dreading: Me as massive star."
Repeat. He wrote "Me as massive star!"
"Me as massive star!"
Art, Jets and Massive Stardom: The Tucker Max Story
Wow, Tucker lived on Lafayette? I've passed by there a million times. I'm assuming someone else is there now bc there's no way he can afford that AND a place in LA.
That's an old address (though presumably correct phone number). When he lived in NY, he was renting a room. The dude is in his mid thirties and has lived with roommates his entire adult life.
"Irregardless: not regardless, not without regard, with regard, with regard to something specific - that is, the exact opposite of the sense in which you used it.
So kill yourself, moron blabber guy"
You kinda got pwnd, why not just let it go.
Wow. When the movie came out, this place was more happening than the RMMB. Now, this place is dead, IMDB's dead...
...congrats, tugger, you've failed so bad that not even your haters care about you anymore. I guess it really is over for you.
Furthermore, the movie DOES have a STAR...........ME
"But the thing is, this movie does have a star: Me.... ...my name is going to have a lot more pull than most actors, directors or writers. Fuck man, I could shit in a bag and draw more people than saw David Mamet’s last piece of crap (Redbelt)."
This quote is a great find: an all-encompassing review of his douchebaggery and delusion of grandeur.
Everyone in Hollywood doesn't know the entertainment business like myself.
People want the real thing. My stories brought out what its like to live life the right way. Hollywood just wants to stifle me and tell me not to direct my own movie.
WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?!
And no I won't get into the story about that conversation with distribution company, maybe some other time when you all get lives and learn to be alpha like me. It's too soon after and I'm just RED HOT.
Ok whatever fuck it. It was some woman boss. Obviously does not get the Tucker charm. I told her to fuck off and spare me the lecture.
Uh, excuse me, I'm Tucker Max, I know my fan base. I literally get noticed so much walking around town. It's cool I guess its just something you can't understand until once your an ARTISTIC celebrity in LOS ANGELES, no less. Just the high price to pay for such writing talent, I suppose.
This movie is going to be BIG. Obviously my name will be up for an Oscar so I already prepared a speech, more details soon.
Ok I was going to keep this a secret but everyone has been asking me all week on the streets. Yes this movie will be played EVERYWHERE. We are planning talks with NASA if we can get it on the moon. Hollywood says its impossible but fuck that, I know an opportunity when I see one. Thats what you sheople need to understand. I do things my way, get away with it and then bless people with my commentary on it. Thats what REAL people want Hollywood not some Todd Phillips movie
"You kinda got pwnd, why not just let it go."
Moron blabber guy blabbers ceaselessly showing how stupid he is
Moron blabber guy doesn't even know what he's saying and thinks he's smart and is smug about it
Moron blabber guy can keep talking but really would do better to shut up
"But the thing is, this movie does have a star: Me.... ...my name is going to have a lot more pull than most actors, directors or writers. Fuck man, I could shit in a bag and draw more people than saw David Mamet’s last piece of crap (Redbelt)."
Given Tucker credit- If he shit in a bag it would be a better piece of art than IHTSBIH
Charlie Hoehn NAILED it last year. The kid is a rising star in the online marketing world.
"So here’s what I think is going to happen: this movie is initially going to be seen by all of Tucker’s fans. College and high school kids will go to theaters in droves to see it. Then word-of-mouth is really going to kick in, and people who have never read Tucker’s book or been to his site will go see the movie. Multiple times."
This next part he posted in BOLD
My prediction remains the same:
"This movie will be big. Very big. And the mainstream press will not see it coming."
Charlie, Tucker, Soloway, Ebner and the rest of the Rudius think tank knew this was going to be huge. They have always been ahead of the curve and have never been wrong. It must be awesome to be a part of history in such a public way. Making predictions a year and months out and putting haters in their place with sheer wit and courage. Tucker has the last laugh as his jet prepares to head down the runway.
Tucker is now a massive star and very rich from his movie. Nils too.
They planned this very well and showed Hollywood and the world how winners execute their dreams.
Hoehn on 9/29:
"Good questions. I plan on writing a long post about all this after I get back to Colorado (within a week)."
Still waiting...
again..
why are you guys still talking about him?
the film bombed, maybe some of you are scared that it will hit 1 mil this weekend. So what?
it's over. he lost. go find another cause to pile on.
anon never forgets.
"...That to me is going to be the funniest part of all of this: Watching the haterz try to explain away the huge success of the movie. Because make no mistake, that success is coming, and irony of ironies, they are actually HELPING to make it happen. Their hatred is helping to create the situation they are most dreading: Me as massive star."
me is not even the most massive star of my friends
someone had to do it.
-gawker guy
so i heard that this blog was created with the sole intention as being a troll site to deflect any negative comments about the movie.
looks like it is working!
tools. /b/ doesnt afraid of anything.
Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.
Y'all seem to be forgetting the most important thing of all...Tucker Max is, in fact, a raging douchebag.
irrespective?
Didn't you mean respective?
(just kidding, let's get back to mocking Tucker)
If Tucker Max made a sequel in a forest, would anybody care?
Speaking of sequels, that's the last installment of The Tucker Max Trilogy: Assholes Fail First. This tome promises to be the final nail in the coffin, transitioning Tucker Max into Tucker Mux (past participal of "epic fail").
The first manuscript of AFF was rejected by Simon, which means our dull witted friend has run out of poopy jokes. That's also why Tucker is anxious to sell his "tell all" Hollywood expose, as he knows he's run out of things to say about fat chicks, minorities, and having sex with people with handicaps... though he might get a chuckle if he gets a job in a morgue and starts fucking corpses.
Tucker just isn't creative, and now that shallow well as run dry. That's why this squalid tale has one more installment. The final chapter will have him rage at TMMB posters during breaks in daddy's restaurant.
the quote about redbelt is the best though
Comparing it to his shit and getting owned by them. classic
I read Japanese and some fucker keeps typing random topics onto this blog...seriously, the things he says have nothing to do with anything.
Tucker has a new book coming out called "Living in apartments with other dudes into your fifties"
It's a self-help type book I guess.
To all the assholes who said Tucker's film wasn't going to make a million. $1,184,000 as of today's estimates.
Add five million dvds at 15 bucks each and that's over 70 million dollars. Dr Max is rich indeed and dvd rev opens door to sequels.
I'll play along with your fantasy that I Hope They Sell Beer In Hell will be that 'black swan' DVD breakout hit you've been promised it will be by your leader Tucker Max. Hey, guy never led you astray before has he?
Tucker posted that '5 million DVDs' is an easy and realistic number for them to sell.
Keep in mind that huge hit movies--franchises even--are lucky to sell half that with massive studio backing and huge fan bases. Case in point:
1 (1) X-Men Origins: Wolverine 595,469 -75.4% 3,019,131 $10,740,534 $50,937,453
Those number above show That X-Men Origins sold 3,019,131 DVDs in two weeks time. Most sales occur in the first seven days.
So IHTSBINH sells 5,000,000 DVDs at $15 for a $75,000,000 windfall.
FOX takes their standard cut of 80%, or $60,000,000
Darko and their investors are first in line to recoup their $12,000,000 loss on the film.
That leaves $3,000,000 for all profit particpants to divide.
ALL profit participants, not just Tucker and Nils.
Darko and their investors go back to the pile FIRST and take their contracted cut. What's left over is divided by the 12 producers and other non-darko investors.
So yeah, Tucker and Nils will have serious F U money. Easily. Who knows, maybe Tucker will by a KIA Sportage with cash.
Less than $700 per screen this weekend. Ouch.
"Ft. Hood screening going great, same as all the screenings. I cannot wait until September 25th. Private jet, here I come."
http://twitter.com/TuckerMax/status/2733204001
;)
box office mojo has this weekend's estimates.
9/25-27:
120 theaters
$366,909
$3,058 psa
10/2-4
210 theaters
$305,465
$1,455 psa
10/9-11
266 theaters
$186,000 (Estimate)
$699 (estimate) psa
That's about 23 people per screen per day. One of the local theaters is showing it (damned if I know why) 4 times per day, which means 6 people per showing.
TUCKER MAX FAIL!!!!
November 18, 2008:
This is great news because the similarities between Twilight and Beer in Hell are definitely going to help us with distributor negotiations and other things like that. Hollywood is all about imitating success, and this success is coming at a great time for my movie.
That being said, I don’t want to go too crazy with the comparison here, the Twilight series of books (there are four of them) has sold over 17 million copies worldwide. Just the first book in the series has sold like 2 million copies domestically, which is way, way more than the 500k copies my book has sold.
So is Tucker going to claim they are still number 1 in many theaters? When couples retreat (which was horribly reviewed) is averaging 11k per screen, I'm doubting they were #1 anywhere.
700 PSA...Rock on Tucker!
3 more weeks, then out of theaters.
PRIVATE JET HERE I COME!!!
GET YOUR PUSSIES READY LADIES!!!!
Q: What happens when you give a douchebag $6 million to make a movie about how awesome he is?
A: You lose $11 million.
Tucker Math baby!
I was finally banned from TMMB. Their reason was because they tracked me going to this site too many times.
Note: I haven't posted anything for over 6 months. Didn't even comment on the failure of the movie. Yet I get banned because they don't like what other sites I visit.
TMMB: RIP
"so i heard that this blog was created with the sole intention as being a troll site to deflect any negative comments about the movie.
looks like it is working!
tools. /b/ doesnt afraid of anything."
This blog has been around since January 2006 before Tugger had a movie deal.
"so i heard that this blog was created with the sole intention as being a troll site to deflect any negative comments about the movie.
looks like it is working!
tools. /b/ doesnt afraid of anything."
This blog has been around since January 2006 before Tugger had a movie deal.
$186k for the weekend is pathetic. Will this movie be out of theaters within the next couple weeks?
"To all the assholes who said Tucker's film wasn't going to make a million. $1,184,000 as of today's estimates.
Add five million dvds at 15 bucks each and that's over 70 million dollars. Dr Max is rich indeed and dvd rev opens door to sequels."
Is it possible to ban sarcasm on here? I really can't tell the difference between sarcasm and Tucker Max dick sucking anymore. I feel like the poster I've quoted above needs to be ridiculed into oblivion, though I don't want to unnecessarily flame a sarcastic Hater post.
In any event, the movie is doing poorly. I'm almost inclined to believe it has pushed Darko further into the red.
At 266 screens you're looking at print costs of $532,000. So that's $652,000 excluding any costs other than print costs. I believe 30% then goes to Freestyle, which then puts them at $456,400.
Not sure if my math is right, but I am sure that the theatrical release has been an unmitigated disaster.
NNG,
He's reshuffling prints from venues that closed the movie to new theaters, so it's the cost of sending the prints to wherever.
However, they still have to pay Freestyle for the logistics of getting the film into those theaters, so there is that added cost.
Tucker is so stupid that at this point I wouldn't doubt them opening it wide in 3000 theaters next week and watching them make about 300 bucks a theater where it makes it to the top 15 overall for the week, and Tucker claims victory.
Who cares at this point? I said it a few months ago that watching this all play out has been like watching Tucker bluff his way through a hand of poker, but his bluffs smell of bullshit so everybody else stays in, and when he shows his final hand he states proudly "I HAVE A PAIR OF ELEVENTEENS!!!".
He has lost, he has lost big. His movie has barely recouped 10% of the money raised. Anything he says otherwise is just another eleventeen he has up his sleeve.
-TDG
"He's reshuffling prints from venues that closed the movie to new theaters, so it's the cost of sending the prints to wherever."
It still played on 266 screens this weekend, and that requires 266 prints (I think).
But you're right. It doesn't matter which way you look at it, the movie tanked badly and no amount of spin can hide that. That's why TMMB is a ghost town at the moment. There just aren't any more numbers to hide behind.
You guys need to update Tucker's entry on Encyclopedia Dramatica. It's much too easy on him.
Link:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Tucker_Max
Am I the only one who finds it funny that the background for Nils' Twitter Page is his food?
www.twitter.com/nilsaparker
He's so fucking fat!
Here's something I could see Tucker doing (maybe now that I gave him the idea) for his DVD:
Each DVD will have an ORIGINAL piece of the film the movie was filmed on. Not the prints, the ORIGINAL!!!!!
Now that I put this out there, I'm betting he ends up doing it.
Any of the other Tucker oldfags remember the pre-Rudius days, when he was calling it "Festering Ass"? There was a quote, long since deleted, on his message board about how he was never going to sell out and call it anything else. In hindsight, he should have stuck with the old name, as it was a lot more prescient than the rest of Tucker's bullshit.
http://www.upload.mn/view/z8b8tuomvw0rxf55jihq.jpg
Shit... dweeb then, dweeb now.
^^ No kidding. It kind of looks like his hairline was receding even then.
Mr. Esrael has made more money than Tucker, lol.
He has more hair, too.
Is that picture from the person who told that story about Tucker drawing swastikas on his hands or whatever?
I'm curious who Tucker got for his book cover...because I swear that is not the same guy. Tucker never, ever looks that good in any pictures he takes.
"Is that picture from the person who told that story about Tucker drawing swastikas on his hands or whatever?"
Yes.
"Tucker never, ever looks that good in any pictures he takes."
Well, he was like 13 in that photo. He obviously hasn't aged well over the last 21 years. Besides, even at that age, he was a douchebag.
Who could have predicted that he would grow up to be the biggest douchebag in America, if not the world?
"I'm curious who Tucker got for his book cover...because I swear that is not the same guy. Tucker never, ever looks that good in any pictures he takes."
You really think he looks good in that picture? He has this huge vein sticking out of his temple, and his chin goes too his knees. Pass.
tucker looks like a bag of ass in almost every picture ever. That's because he looks like a bag of ass in real life. His book cover looks much better than he really looks (or just about any other picture of him)
why do you people care SO much about this has-been?
You won. Go back to playing WoW and fapping to eel porn.
barrybater201 wrote this on the imdb site just now-
"He thinks his movie is going to blow up on home video the way 'Office Space' and 'Austin Powers' did.
This is one of the core problems Tucker has. He has such delusions of grandeur that he envisions the best-case scenario, then trades on the perceived reality of that scenario. He KNEW this movie was going to be big in theaters, and he wrote a bunch of checks (figuratively speaking) based on that 'knowledge'. Now he KNOWS this movie will be big on DVD, so he's going to carry himself as though it was already the case.
Tucker's talked before about being 'destined for greatness', and that mentality is where a lot of this foolishness comes from. He has a bizarre sense of entitlement and self-importance that is, at its core, his self-defense mechanism for deep, deep insecurity. The insecurity issues, however, are buried so far beneath under all those layers of hubris and false confidence and garishness and what-have-you, that he would literally have to 're-learn' what it even means to be Tucker Max in order to deal with them. This is what we mean when we talk about a truly 'broken' person.
It would be sad, if not for the fact that he decided that being a selfish jerk was the best way to deal with himself, and if not for all the people he's used and hurt along the way. For all the damage Tucker's done to others in the quest to feel good about himself, he deserves every bit of what's coming, and that's why I think we need to keep rubbing this in, mercilessly and without regard for him. He's a waste of a human life, and he's entitled to all the worst that life can toss his way."
that's one of the best takes on it i've seen.
Can I ask everybody here a question? I'm not doing this to condescend, or to flame the board. I'm just seeking honest answers to an honest question.
Why do you dislike Tucker Max?
Does his personality rub you the wrong way? Did he screw you over personally?
Again, I'm not a troll and I don't want to seem like I'm flaming the board. I just want to know what your motivation is?
Thanks in advance.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
To paraphrase Henry Rollins, this is why I hate Tucker Max.
"You think youre going to live your life alone
In darkness and seclusion... yeah, I know
Youve been out there and tried to mix with those animals
And it just left you full of humiliated confusion
So you stagger back home and wait for nothing
But the solitary refinement of your room spits you back onto the streets
And now youre desperate and in need of human contact
And then you meet me and yur whole world changes
Because everything I say is everything youve ever wanted to hear
So you drop all you defenses, Im perfect in every way
cause I make you feel so strong and so powerfull inside
You feel so lucky
But your ego obscures reality that you never bothered to
Wonder why things are going so well
You want to know why?
cause Im a liar, yeah, Im a liar
Ill tear (rip) your mind up, Ill burn your soul
Ill turn you into me, Ill turn you into me
cause Im a liar, a liar, a liar, a liar...
Ill hide behind a smile and understanding eyes
And Ill tell you things that you already know so you can say:
I really identify with you, so much
And all the time that youre needing me is just the time
That Im bleeding you, dont you get it yet?
Ill come to you like an affliction then Ill leave you like an addiction
Youll never forget me... wou wanna know why?
I dont know why I feel the need to lie and cause you so much pain
Maybe its something inside, maybe its something I cant explain
cause all I do is mess you up and lie to you
Im a liar, ooh, Im a liar
But if youll give me another chance I swear Ill never lie to you again
cause now I see the destructive power of a lie,
Theyre stronger than truth
I cat believe I ever hurt you, I swear I will never lie to you again
Please, just give me more chance, Ill never lie to you again, no,
I swear, I will never tell a lie, I will neer tell a lie, no, no
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! sucker! sucker! sucker!
I am a liar, yeah, I am a liar, yeah, I am a liar
I lie you, I feel good, I am a liar, yeah
I lie x4 ooh, I lie, yeah, I lie
Im a liar, I lie, I like it, I feel good, I like it, and again
I like it again and Ill keep lying, Ill promise"
We don't dislike him, we think he's fun to mock. Read this thread and stfu, if you can't figure this out for yourself you're a moron.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220628/board/thread/149014356?p=1
Well, some of us hate him.
Fuck you Maxi Pad, no one owes you an explanation.
His board has gone dead. I'm booooorrrred. No one seems to be giving a shit about the Easter hunt thread. He siad there were about 50 "eggs" to find. No-one can find them. Or noone cares enough to post about them. Whats the point?
Very funny Tucker quote threat going on at IMDB. He was such a tool. $210 Million. Brahahahahaha!
^^^ Anonymous (10/11/2009 8:31 PM)
I don't hate Tucker Max, but I just think he's a piece of shit. He's a total bullshit artist and tries to craft an image of himself that makes him look far cooler than he is in real life.
^^^ 08:31
I dislike Tucker because he insults and spits on everyone who doesn't measure up to his self-designed level of social acceptability. He then writes a book about it and dares to call it art. He then somehow makes a movie where every step of the way he over-inflates, over-hypes and straight out lies about the process, his intentions and his abilities. He continually tells us how intelligent he is (fuck off with the school and college bullshit now Tucker - it's been years. Statute of limitations applies to elite school cred, and yours is long past) while spouting the most incredible, unrealistic, preposterous BULLSHIT and asking, demanding that we beleive every word.
While doing all of this he attacks and insults the very people who gave him even the modest level of success that he did manage to achieve. He cannot, simply cannot grasp that the reason some people find his stories funny is because they themselves are lacking in something (sometimes just maturity) and he does not have the ability to reach a mass audience. He would rather beleive everyone else is wrong rather than look at his own behaviour. In other words, I guess what I am trying ot say is that Nils is fat.
Everyone is so over this, even Tucker himself has stopped posting on his board.
Great summary of points, 1:12. When one the 'Tucker Max saga' down to its elements, what one finds is an immature, self-centered egomaniac/exhibitionist who 'disregards social norms' (his words) not because they're arbitrary or unnecessary, but because he'd rather just do whatever he feels like than learn how to coexist with others. Can you imagine an entire community or society of people like Tucker Max? It would be bedlam for about fifteen minutes, until the whole thing just imploded on itself and nothing was left.
Tucker tries to cloak his disregard for anyone and anything but himself in the guise that he's just being the person he wants to be rather than letting society tell him who he must be (as though anyone twisted his arm: 'you WILL be a lawyer!'); but that's a bullshit copout- society has limits and expectations for a reason, and the reason is that society has to accommodate the needs and desires of everyone in it. Unfortunately, modern western (particularly American) society is so passive and media/entertainment-driven that people like Tucker are given a platform instead of being given five across the eyes.
Additionally, as the poster at 1:12 so deftly noted, Nils is really, really fat. I mean, like, 'close down a buffet' fat.
Hmm, well the film based on Dave Eggars screenplay, AWAY WE GO, has currently made about 10 million on a 17 million dollar production budget.
I know Tuckster hates Dave Eggars; he can enjoy the fact that Eggars pretentious little film made back half of the production budget at least, while Tucker's limp unfunny bullshit hasn't.
"You really think he looks good in that picture? He has this huge vein sticking out of his temple, and his chin goes too his knees. Pass."
Maybe not good, as you correctly note. But it doesn't look like the same guy. His pictures from the book show him to be pudgy, buzz cut, etc. The guy on the cover comes of well dresses, thin, and at least decent hair.
So, just in comparison, cover guy looks better in general than TM (not that cover guy is great looking, but better than TM, though that's not hard to do), but I also think he looks nothing like TM.
My dislike of him is about the same as everyone else.
But...at first, say the first 50-100 pages of the Book, I was actually very interested in the stories.
I thought it was something quite unique, and of course the fact that they were "100% True" made me find them hilarious.
The very first story, you get this sense that there was something beyond just the guy being "fratty" to be so. He talks about his need for the spotlight and other flaws.
That's why I liked Slingblades Character so much (in the book). Now, I think that guy could be truly funny.
But then...after 100 pages or so, the stories got utterly repetitive. Then I went to the board.
And low-and-behold. TM doesn't answer anything truthfully, ever. I honestly asked some questions about the direction of the book which I liked so much in the beginning but seemed to fall flat.
Standard TM response, "You're and idiot and couldn't possibly get my art. Blah blah blah"
Interesting. So, then I wanted to find out if these stories were really so.
The overwhelming evidence says no. Then I realized what TM was and honestly that he should be stopped.
I have no problem with shock humor, but this is not the guy that youth should be listening to. Not because he's offensive, but because he preys on the weak willed, is a complete idiot, and woefully unsuccessful. He is unsuccessful, because he gives up on everything that doesn't work.
This is not the attitude of someone who should be looked up to.
The need was to expose a douchebag, and spread that word as far as possible. I think his movie may have actually shined some spotlight where he didn't want it. Because people started tracking down everything that made him look retarded.
I dislike Tucker Max because he's smug in his ignorance. Also because he acts out the dark side of the Roissy-style alpha male. Being an asshole and attractive to women at the same time is part of human nature, but with power comes responsibility. He's deliberately destroyed everything that could have been good about himself and those around him.
Also, it is fun to point and laugh. It is also mean, and I accept this about myself; I just try to direct that meanness at other mean people.
His board has gone dead. I'm booooorrrred. No one seems to be giving a shit about the Easter hunt thread. He siad there were about 50 "eggs" to find. No-one can find them. Or noone cares enough to post about them. Whats the point?
Well, given the box office numbers, I'd say the reason no one is talking about this is because no one is going to the film. The rabid fanboys on the RMMB have already gone to the movie. The fact that they're unwilling to go back and see the movie again to find all the "totally awesome" Easter Eggs tells you everything you need to know about this stinking turd.
Anyone know where that story written as though bunny did it came from?
It was a few pages ago and went on about what it was like to have a borderline sociopath / narcissist for a friend; comparing it them being stuck in a swimming pool.
It was from Bunny's blog, a year or two back. One of the entries that she deleted soon after posting, I think. I believe it's Light who keeps turning up the Google cache when she does that.
"Why do you dislike Tucker Max?"
Because he's a fraud, a liar and a coward.
He's a fraud on a number of levels. Most certainly, and most recently, having himself refer to his own work as "art" and considering himself (vocally) an "artist". He's an artist the same way the woman who fucks a donkey in Tijuana is an artist, except the woman in Mexico might be able to one day fuck a goat or a dog, whereas Tucker can only really do one thing.
He's a liar because pretty much everything he has said about his movie has been proven to be a lie. He knows it too, which is why his own predictions became larger and larger, because what he was doing was defrauding his own audience into believing his "art" was something that it was not. He in effect became nothing more than an infomercial pitchman hawking a substandard product to people who already bought into his self made mythos.
He's a coward because, let's face facts, he's a coward. Need proof? Notice how he was posting over 10 times daily BEFORE the movie came out, but now that the movie was released and his own fans are giving less than stellar reviews he's completely shut down? Notice how his whole self stated MO towards the review section of the movie thread has changed (we will post both postive and negative reviews). He's shut down. He can't take the heat. He is in fact a coward. A coward who hides behind the safety of friends and the internet.
All of these factors have led me to really dislike him both as a writer but more importantly as a person.
-TDG
Well said TDG!!!
You're right TDG, he is a motherfucking coward. Talks a big fucking game when he can, but when somebody talks back to him he bans them or denigrates them. His whole schtick is one big fucking "i'm one up on you" when in fact he's not. He's a douchebag with some serious mental disorders who attracts weaker people.
He won't defend his predictions because he fucking can't. Now he hides. He is a fucking coward and a pussy.
I thought we were gonna be done with this site and everything once the movie was finished?
"Why do you dislike Tucker Max?"
Well, there are myriad reasons to hate Tucker Max, but I can narrow it down to two.
I dislike Tucker Max because he is a compulsive liar and a raging douchebag who treats people like shit.
-YG
TDG, as you have done so many times before, you've kind of spoken for all the true haterz. Nice work, mate. You said exactly what was on my mind.
I thought we were gonna be done with this site and everything once the movie was finished?
By whose degree, Tucker? Yours?
This blog was compiling Tucker's bullshit well in advance to the movie announcement. As such, I want to see the final installment to the Tucker Max tragedy, when he's forced to wait tables for daddy, or works at a shit law firm as a know-it-all paralegal who cannot ever pass the bar exam.
decree.. cannot type
Yes, Tucker’s one of those obsessively creative types who wants to write, direct, sculpt, and build not for the inherent worth of art, but to be noticed, praised, and handsomely paid. I haven’t hated smeone so completely in years, but Tucker thinks she’s a star; a worthy young man who should garner our sympathies and hugs. I hope for a sequel, but only if it centers on the little cunt’s funeral.
To whomever asked:
"Why do you dislike Tucker Max?":
Have you ever seen Back to the Future Part II? You know the part where Biff Tannen has gotten rich and successful and taken over Hill Valley and turned it into a giant wasteland of sin? Well, Tucker Max is basically a real-life Biff Tannen. Guys like him always have some lackeys (like in the first movie--the guy w/ the shades and Billy Zane and whoever the third guy is.) But when guys like Biff get 10,000 lackeys, that's when some bad shit starts happening.
"You know the part where Biff Tannen has gotten rich and successful and taken over Hill Valley and turned it into a giant wasteland of sin? Well, Tucker Max is basically a real-life Biff Tannen."
Yeah, except that Biff was rich and successful.
I went to one of the premiere stops and asked Tuck a question about the movie. Instead of responding, he yelled at me because he had no other response. I thought it was hilarious and a pretty good microcosm of his issues.
He needs to realize that the movie is terrible. That is why it has failed.
Domestic Total as of Oct. 11, 2009: $1,184,000 (Estimate)
wow. huge money.
"But the thing is, this movie does have a star: Me.... ...my name is going to have a lot more pull than most actors, directors or writers. Fuck man, I could shit in a bag and draw more people than saw David Mamet’s last piece of crap (Redbelt)."
Redbelt: $2,345,941
IHTSBIH: $997,300
Post a Comment