The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2801 – 3000 of 15917 Newer› Newest»tucker's worst nightmare is coming true, he is being scrutinized! this will cause this talentless delusional egomaniac to self destruct.
----- Tucker Max interview part 3 ----
(Tucker meets Troy Duffy)
Tucker: So you’re THE Troy Duffy as in “The Boondock Saints” Troy Duffy?
Troy: In the flesh, man.
Tucker: The Boondock Saints is one of my favorite films!
Troy: Mine too.
Tucker: I’m making a fucking movie as well. It’s awesome.
Troy: Is this your first time directing?
Tucker: I’m not directing, Bob Gosse is.
Troy: Who?
Tucker: He’s huge. Done tons of shit. Even came to our first meeting with a notepad.
Troy: Who’s starring in it?
Tucker: Matt Cuzychry!
Troy: Who the fuck is that?
Tucker: Guy has done tons of shit. Gilmore Girls and like 20 other things on TV. Will be a household name next year. Plus, he nailed me hard.
Troy: Well good luck, man.
Tucker: Listen, I don’t often do this… Since I respect you as a fellow “artist” and you seem to exude a certain fucking vibe that I can also respect, do you have any advice for me?
Troy: Whatever you do, DO NOT film or document the process on a daily basis. I had a film crew follow me around taking pictures and filming cast members, etc. The jealous assholes who did the filming edited the footage to make me look like an asshole after we had a falling out over them not understanding how fucking awesome I am. They released it as a film called “Overnight.”
Tucker: So DON’T film or document the process on a daily basis?
Troy: Never. Worst thing you can possibly do.
Tucker: Interesting take. Not one I fucking agree with. But, I’m Tucker Max, right?
Troy: Also, be very careful about claims you make prior to the film’s release. Never quote numbers. Never even promise a theatrical release. Confidence is one thing. But, looking like the biggest asshead on the planet is painful. Some of your actions can come back to haunt you.
Tucker: Any specific examples of like, things I shouldn’t fucking say?
Troy: Well, I once said… “As for my film career? Get used to it, 'cuz it ain't goin' anywhere. Period.” I also proclaimed that I was going to succeed "on a scale like never before". Also, I said that I had a “cesspool of creativity.” It’s all true, but jealous people might take it out of context.
Tucker: Yeah. People suck. But we have ways of controlling them that is like no other way ever invented in the history of the Internet or society.
Troy: Well, my problem was that I thought I knew more than everyone else – which I do. I created my own press and believed it. We faked script coverage. I pissed off a lot of people in Hollywood, including that dickbag Jew, Harvey Weinstein. Plus tons of other so-called powerful people. Burning tons of useless bridges. Fuck ‘em all, I say. I even called a very powerful female executive a “cunt.”
Tucker: …Well, was she?
Troy: Fuck yeah!
(Troy and Tucker chest bump)
Troy: I think my biggest regret was surrounding myself with an army of mindless ass kissing “yes” men who never called me on my shit. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe… Do you have a posse?
Tucker: Yeah. I have a company called Ruduis Media. We spam message boards and delete anything that makes sense or has relevant counter logic towards are goals.
Troy: Are they loyal to your artistic visions?
Tucker: Fuck yeahs! Watch this shit – (screams to kitchen) Nils, you fucking boxhead, run into the wall three times, NOW!
Nils: Yes, sir… (BAM!) Ohhw! … (BAM!) Ohhw! … (BAM!) Ohhw!
Troy: I’m impressed.
Tucker: The Boondock Saints went theatrical tho, and was huge on DVD so it looks like you got the last laugh, motherfucker!
Troy: Actually, the film was released on one screen and grossed 23 thousand dollars. I signed away the DVD rights so that I could make the movie. The budget was only seven million dollars. I mean who the fuck can make a movie on seven million dollars?
Tucker: …um… Any regrets?
Troy: Regrets? Fuck no. I have lived life by my own rules. I made one of the best movies ever made. The characters in my movie have never been done before in the history of modern cinema. Actually looking back now, everything went exactly as I had planned. I changed the whole system single-handily. I won. Hollywood lost. It was revolutionary!
(Tucker moves in closer to Troy)
Tucker: Can I like, fucking… kiss you?
Reporter: (coughs)… hhhurrummpphh -- Tucker, I’m still here.
(Tucker jumps back and composes himself)
Tucker: This is Troy motherfucking Duffy, dude. He also made a great fucking movie.
Reporter: I know who he is. I brought him here. And I just saw you try to kiss him.
Tucker: You are 100% wrong. Keep making stuff up.
Reporter: Scroll up like three inches. You said “Can I like, fucking… kiss you?” You even puckered your lips.
Tucker: Never happened. You're so banned, asshole!
(Troy looks at watch)
Troy: I’m off to Starbucks.
Tucker: I love their fucking Frapacinos!
Troy: I don’t drink coffee… but I need to be there by five for my shift.
Tucker: (to reporter) See that, you asshole. This motherfucker Troy made one of the greatest movies in history on his own terms and brought Hollywood to their knees! And now he is working for one of the most successful companies in the world. Eat shit, you fucking suit!
Reporter: How long do you think your delusional life will exist before it comes crashing down in flames like the Hindenburg?
(How will Tucker respond? STAY TUNED….)
---- END OF PART THREE -----
Hello to whomever is writing these hilarious Tucker interviews.
This is Vincenzo, from The Script Reader's blog.
That is some funny, FUNNY shit!
If I were you, I would seriously consider taking up penning fiction, especially screenwriting as a career. You have an uncanny talent for putting your words in precisely the fashion that Tucker and/or Troy Duffy would if those two interacted with each other, what with their senseless posturing and all.
I laughed so hard, I woke my brother-in-law up. He was pissed. Then I showed him what I was laughing at... He knows who Troy Duffy is, because I actually like that asshole's movie. It, is entertaining in my opinion, despite its numerous flaws.
I explained Tucker's persona, and/or schtick, and showed him this website, specifically your posts... Hilarity, in the phrase that Tucker stole from Fark.com, ensued.
Again, anonymous, you appear to be a gifted writer, and should definitely pursue that craft professionally if that's your cup of tea.
If so, keep at it, develop some original concepts, and KEEP AT IT. That is some genuinely (at times) clever satire. Low Brow, but that's what sells if it's done properly.
When do we get to see part IV?
Tucker pretends as if the old script post was his doing all along...
...if that's the case, why did he have it removed so quickly the first time, only to have it crop up again three months later?
We know it wasn't Tucker who put it out there the SECOND time...
...how do we know that? Because the version that was on Rapidshare this last time was MY copy - the one I pasted from the PDF into a Word file and emailed out to whoever requested it, in the days following the original scripts appearance.
...I'm sure the Tuckster thinks he's pretty clever, trying to create all sorts of smokescreens and confusion over who did what. It was at least smart, until he start alluding to it in every other post on his messageboard. Overkill, my man... nothing exposes your trickery like the overkill.
You know, legitimate artists just create their art. They don't have to play all kinds of silly games. But, Tucker's not a legitimate artist (uh... no, this isn't performance art, bro. Don't taze me.), so he has to do whatever he can to draw attention to himself, which is his single underlying objective in life to begin with.
Man, his parents must've done a real number on him growing up.
Bravo! Thanks for the interview.
Had Tucker a sense of humility (and an inkling of what would sell), he would have hired you instead of Nils.
It doesn't matter if any of the cast beleives in Tucker's screenplay anymore, as long as Tucker believes in it.
What does Matt Czursky and that butter-faced blond chick they got to play some lead sorostiute think about all this?
Does Tucker let them surf the internet?
I could see him hovering over everyone all day, looking over their shoulder, making sure the truth didn't get around.
Is anyone here on the set of the movie?
Tell us some stories of douchebaggery!!
Matt? Speak out bro! Remember--bro's before hoes!! You don't need Tucker's douchebaggery. Call it out, and walk away a free, better man!
Tucker's trying WAY too hard with the Gawker thing. I could almost believe that he was actually doing some sort of viral/guerilla marketing campaign if he dropped a couple of hints and then let it go. But the fact that he mentions it EVERY DAY is proof positive he's just trying to spin it as his doing despite the fact that this is clearly something that took him by surprise.
Is he still saying that? Even after Gawker posted about Bunny and Tucker's criticism to the other blogger? What a twat.
Even a Tucker fan boy rallies behind Boondock Saits, on The Script Reader's blog:
Also - I think some of you give the film industry too much credit. We see a REALLY good movie once every 1-2 years. Some of the best ones, Boondock Saints, bomb in the theaters and thrive in the aftermarket.
Posted without the slightest hint of irony.
Here's the latest version of IHTSBIH.
http://rapidshare.com/files/135879102/IHTSBIH.pdf.html
Holy shit dude,
I know I should thank you for posting the script, but I really feel like I should punch you in the face for giving me the opportunity to read it.
DAMN YOU TUCKER MAX!!!
Wow.
Ebner is full of shit too by saying the agencies gave the script great coverage. What a fucking douchebag snakeoil salesman that guy is.
Bunny... What can I say that hasn't been said already. I know you're sticking up for your wounded Tucker now, because it's your thing, but how about this, make this part of your life your 3rd act and move the fuck on. You can't be that broken.
Tucker. Dude. That knock on the door, it's reality, and it's only going to get worse.
Here's the fun part for you Tucker, you actually probably have a case against Gawker, but YOU CAN'T SUE THEM. You really can't. A guy who made a living on mocking people with frivilous law suits against you could NEVER EVER SUE AN ON-LINE PUBLICATION WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG. You have to realize that, and you have to know that deep in your heart, you've painted yourself into a career hole that allows publications like Gawker to ILLEGALLY use the script you spent months working on to MOCK YOU.
I, in my wildest dreams could never ever have thought this would be how this would begin to end for you, but it's perfect. Absolutely Perfect.
Oh, and your script is pretty bad. Not as bad as the first pass, but really shitty altogether.
"Is it real?"
"Is it fake?"
"Who's doing what?"
For anybody who doesn't want to read this, here is a sample of what his dialogue is like:
Tucker: Hey, let's do something idiotic.
Aaron: How about I say something really stupid and follow it up with a 5 sentence dialogue that I'll repeat over and over about how you're a douchebag?
Tucker: How about I say something overly dramatic, yet something you'd never hear real people say.
Aaron: Something bitter, something bitter.
Tucker: I'LL SAY IT AGAIN IN BIG CAPS AND TALK ABOUT MYSELF IN THE 3RD PERSON!!!
Aaron: Okay, I'll go with you to do something idiotic, even though my last two lines have led everybody to believe that you're a douchebag.
Holy shit, this is horrendous.
Ha! Gawker now has an entry on the Opie & Anthony embarrassment. Are you still leaking this stuff to them, Tucker?
http://gawker.com/5035006/even-shock-jocks-hate-tucker-max
This was posted at 7:38:
"They love you so much, they are really reaching for the good stuff now.
http://gawker.com/5035006/even-shock...ate-tucker-max
Reading about how they had gotten a ton of mail about you after you had posted the adress here, and then the story featuring ridiculously small hands clearly written by a forums regular, was hilarious.
They are totally destroying you."
It will be taken down in 3...2...1...
There's no way that's the real script. Tucker may be a jerk, but he's not THAT stupid... and NOBODY would get behind that script.
It HAS to be fake; I'm all-but-sure he posted it himself.
By the way, glad to see Vincenzo posting here. In all likelihood, Marc has posted (or lurked) here as well.
Lance
There's no way that's the real script. Tucker may be a jerk, but he's not THAT stupid... and NOBODY would get behind that script.
It HAS to be fake; I'm all-but-sure he posted it himself.
Come on, guys, no hate for Paul Wall and his awesome "grillz"???
Check him out, in all his glory; from a time where he had yet to be "throwed"
http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/5543/dsc022281li.jpg
Can anyone guess (googling doesn't count) what disorder this checklist is for? I mean, thank god Tucker doesn't have any of these traits.
* glib and superficial charm
* grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
* need for stimulation
* pathological lying
* cunning and manipulativeness
* lack of remorse or guilt
* shallow affect(superficial emotional responsiveness)
* callousness and lack of empathy
* parasitic lifestyle
* poor behavioral controls
* sexual promiscuity
* early behavior problems
* lack of realistic long-term goals
* impulsivity
* irresponsibility
* failure to accept responsibility for own actions
* many short-term marital relationships
* juvenile delinquency
* revocation of conditional release
* criminal versatility
"
anonymous said...
Can anyone guess (googling doesn't count) what disorder this checklist is for? I mean, thank god Tucker doesn't have any of these traits.
"
I'm going to say "What is Sociopathic behavior?" for 600, Alex.
CLOSE, 6:49, it's Hare's widely accepted Psychopathy checklist :)
http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Hare-Psychopathy-Checklist.html
Lance Martini?
If that is in fact the shooting script for IHTSBIH then it it's pretty tame. Not God awful, but certainly not something that will stand out. Mayeb the actors can make it sing. But I'm guessing it's a planted fake script to throw people off from the real deal.
Oh god, the checklist above is becoming eerily more accurate by the minute:
http://gawker.com/5034905/how-to-keep-employees-happy-by-tucker-max
Can you say "psychopath"?
That script is a HUGE improvement over the previous one (which was a fucking turd). I'm guessing Bob Gosse rewrote 90% of it.
I don't think it's that much of an improvement. It's better, but it's still terrible.
It's improved from an F to an F+.
Why doesn't TM and his crew do a classic "Wahoo" on the Gawker folks?
The previously leaked version of the script was better.
Because their wahoo would be laughable against Gawker's traffic.
Better. Much better.
Though when you start in the sewer the gutter isn't a horrible place to end up.
We'll see how it plays--much more mainstream--I think TM's fanboys are going to be very disappointed.
10:32 said
"Because their wahoo would be laughable against Gawker's traffic."
That's why I want to see it. I admit it I'm a member of his board and have been for a few years. My post count is about (Maybe in the 50's range). There are no clever people there anymore. There used to be some very, very, very funny people there.
Mr. Jake, was great, BC Woods was awesome, *cough, cough ROB please post here* even that guy who either lived in China or just had a Chinese sounding name --"Exing??" something was funny. Now the place just reaks of failure. I went to the site today and thier were 29 people viewing the "Idiot Board" 29? I have seen number's as high as 515 viewing the "Idiot board" I guess I'm the idiot
8/08/2008 11:15 PM,
I guess nobody here's really hating on TMMB members per se; it's just the cultist like, hive-minded teenage (probably) fanboys defending a psychopath... I've never signed up, but I myself used to read TM's board years ago. True, all the funny / original people are gone.
I guess they couldn't stand fucking nazi moderators like "sillylittlefreak" anymore... God, this prick pissed me off. His ugly face made me want to punch someone... Used to ban people for either not sucking Tucker's cock the right way, stepping out of the cult's line or some other trivial ego-driven bullshit reason.
I mean, I googled his pathetic screenname, and guess what?
HE FRIGGIN SELLS COFFEMUGS WITH RED DOTS ON CAFEPRESS!!! how lame is that? check it out yourself...
So lemme get this straight: sillylittlefreak gets off on banning people so much that he sells merchandise about it? Talk about an inferioty complex...
Sorry, I mean to type inferiority complex...
Anyway, to the guy mentioning things getting worse the more mainstream press gets involved: we all know Tucker's gonna blame someone else for everything, just as per the usual. And what's with his movie blog? "LOOK AT MEEEEEE, I'M MAKING A MOOOOVIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A CAR SCENE!!! REVOLUTIONARY!! AND A STEADY CAAAMMM!!" Give me a break, Tucker. I feel sorry for anyone's career being tarnished by this trainwreck of a movie. Apart from Tucker's, that is, but his 15 minutes are over anyway. He just doesn't want to acknowledge it and noone's got the heart to tell him.
Tucker'th Movie Blog:
Today we catht thtripperth. I know that you've all wanted to know how many, but gueth what, watch the fucking movie to find out. Don't ask me about it either or I'll ban you.
Anyway, thtripperth. We had a lot of them, most of them go by the name "waitress" while they are in Hollywood, and they should be happy as hell that I catht them. This movie is going to revolutionize the roleth of thtripperth in a movie. In one scene, I (I mean my character dumbath) call a thtripper a "whore" and she hates me, but I'm (I mean my character dumbass) so fucking charming and shit that she totally fucks me (actually I did fuck her).
To let you know, we put a cathting call out to Julia Roberth to play a thtripper, but I thaid that thith is a role that they will forever be known for. I couldn't have thomebody like Julia Roberth ruining my movie. Pluth, I doubt she could pull off being thtripper or a hooker, she'th clearly not a talented actreth.
Oh yeah, I got porn thtarth too. They are just like the thtrippers exthept they won't fuck me, because leth fathe facth, doeth Tucker Maxth have to lower himthelf to thcrewing whoreth? Pluth, instead of porn thtarth jutht having thex, they are going to ACT. Haven't you ever jutht rented a porno to thee how good porn thtarth are when they are at acting out thenes?
Holy thit, this film is going to be awethome. You guyth thould be paying me jutht to read thith blog, but I digreth, even if I don't know what the word "digreth" means.
Don't taze me, bro!
this script isn't nearly as bad as the old one, but it still sucks. too much dialogue. the plot is terrible. my favorite (shitty) lines:
(tucker talking jeff into going to the strip club in durham)
Tucker: You need this! WE ALL NEED THIS!! IT'S OUR DESTINY AS MEN!!
Jeff: Yeah, you're right man! I'm in. Fuck yes! Let's go!
I have a feeling the only part of this movie based on a true story are the parts where tucker acts like a douchebag and the part where the milf he meets at the bar to take back to the hotel says, "Stop talking, you're going to ruin it."
Thanks for the script. Not as bad as I thought but in now way "tight" or "a revolution".
But now we know why there's no TV series. The movie is the book is the website. There was not enough material from Tucker, hence Comedy Central wanted to hire some professional writers which Tucker refused. But Tucker hasn't written new stuff in years and the leftovers will be in his second book (if it even exists).
Problem is although Tucker makes a lot of stuff up I guess his stories are based on things that really happened to him or he heard of while in college. Altered and exaggerated of course but somehow based on real events. But he has milked that shit for what it's worth. After this movie he is practically done. He is out of ideas and even together with Drex together they will fail at writing new stuff.
Most of the Rudius' blogs are dead too, no wonder when you look at what happened to BCWoods. And as Tucker is so focused on his movie now that situation is not going too improve, either.
But good to see that Gawker is now publishing all the stuff that is banned on the TMMB.
It would be interesting to know what happened too some "prominent" board-guys that left.
MrJake or SoylentGreen anyone?
This is the end for Tibor.
He had it coming. I'm sure he'll recover, but it's got to suck to get smashed so hard in public.
I counted 5 jokes that were lifted from other sources. I did LOL twice to be fair.
Maybe Bob will save the picture so that it will at least get a limited theatrical run. The title is good but will not fly well in much of the USA. It would have been wise to attach at least one name to the film IMHO.
After reading script I will probably wait till it gets put up on a newsgroup and download it there.
you want comedy? tucker's workout log from earlier this year:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=19177
what a bitch.
Seriously, you should've written the script. You write Tucker better than he writes himself.
Though there's probably more truth in your material.
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
5 Reasons Why The IHTSBIH Script Sucks:
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/5-reasons-why-ihtsbih-script-sucks.html
^^^^Everyone keep in mind, that I doubt it's beneath Tucker to create a hate site for himself to round up IP addresses/ email addresses, etc. to potentially fuck with.
Not that it honestly matters since he can't do much, but it's something to consider.
That's quite alright, Tucker is a pussy and I know where he lives and drinks in Los Angeles.
Let me guess... He lives in the shitty end of town with 3 other people (4 if you count Nils twice).
Like the new site, although I have to disagree with the author's assertations that the script is better than what Cecilia and Gawker would have you believe. It's better than the first, but not much better, not enough to warrant "top 10 comedies" of the last 10 years. Now, I understand being happy about your screenplay and that you're movie is getting made, but he's a total douchebag for trying to sell it as such. A simple "I'm confident that I'm making a quality film that everybody who watches will enjoy" would have sufficed. Confidence is one thing, but this is straight up bullshit by Tucker yet again.
Nobody is going to connect with any of these characters. Not one of them seem like real people and there's no sympathizing with any of them either. The "Aaron" arc is fucking ridiculous. Cheap and cheesy theatrics that I've already seen done and done better and that character didn't warrant that kind of "touching" ending.
Jeff and his fiance are basically props with lines.
Oh, and it's a "road trip" movie, although the road trip is 2 hours away. That's not a road trip, that's a commute.
The dialogue is horrendous. What can be easily said in one sentence turns into a morbid dialogue. Character's change their mind for no discernable reason other than it fits the scene.
Lastly, it's not funny. I mean, not funny at all. Maybe a few scenes are amusing, but certainly aren't funny. Not much to say after that.
My 2 cents: The earlier version was an abomination. The new version is an improvement, but the outline follows the same formula as every other comedy ever written. Revolutionary? It's mediocre. With a studio backing, a script doctor, and bankable talent it would probably make money.
In the classroom scene. Tucker comes off as a slacker/class clown type that glides effortlessly through the world (ala Van Wilder, Ferris Bueller, etc). When he's alone at the bar, he comes off as a bitter asshole. The rest of the time, they try to set him up as some sort of alpha male but it seems like they're pushing the point too hard with horrible dialogue, contrived situations, and prop antagonists [much like his other writing].
ok, im drunk but i have many thoughts. first of all...i was hoping somebody would take over and create another blogspot to expose tucker for a douche. gawker is hitting it pretty good, but cockly mcbeefwell was perfect. this new blogspot has nothing on mr. mcbeefwell. second, i'm sick of people thinking "oh douchebag max must be making these sites for publicity." are you guys so stupid that you believe this. go to the rmmb and read tucker's last 20 posts in order, that should be proof enough that he didn't plan out the whole gawker release. just like matt czurchry was announced here, and people didnt believe it. the updated script is w/o a doubt better than the first, but it still sucks. there's no way that dialogue will work on screen as written. even if bob and the actors try and fix it, this film WILL NOT have a wide theatrical release. if you have read the script, then you know the plot is terrible. once this movie gets released tucker will lose a lot of fans since he tried to play it up ($25 million opening weekend), but we all know he'll spin it as success once it fails and he'll still have some idiots on the message board sucking his dick. like i've mentioned before... this isn't the first time tucker has claimed "this will be revolutionary!" (check out the mtv story). we're watching tucker's downfall, and it is going perfect.
gawker is hitting it pretty good, but cockly mcbeefwell was perfect. this new blogspot has nothing on mr. mcbeefwell.
Well I'll be the first to admit that I've got some awfully big boots to fill. But gimme some time - I only started writing it yesterday..
"Well I'll be the first to admit that I've got some awfully big boots to fill. But gimme some time - I only started writing it yesterday.."
That's great Tucker.
Nah, he can't be Tucker, read his breakdown of the script, Tucker isn't capable of judging his own work that accurately.
Holy shit, the crew and castmember interview videos are PAINFUL to watch. Each one of them struggles to come up with an answer for "how is this project different from other ones you've done". They each try hard to come up with some bullshit, but the reality is, it's not. There's also a presumption that the audience for these videos is a slobbering fan, anxiously waiting for any morsel about the film. Maybe there's a handful of those fans now, but when the movie comes out, it'll be godawful. Then these videos will look really stupid, with everyone talking earnestly about what went into making such a godawful movie.
Since Tucker doesn't come to this site we can say whatever we'd like about the film here.
I have some real concerns about this movie getting a theatrical release. I would never want to discuss these concerns with him so it's safe to do it here in a forum he never visits. Because if he did vist this blog that would mean we were in control of him.
Many films suffer unforseen problems in post-production. As one guy said 'the wheels can come off at any point.'
Tucker seems to think this film will change the world. Really?
It isn't even his film anymore. He is a co-writer and inspiration for the main character. He is one of 11 producers and not even an executive producer.
He is not even needed on the set, which is clear from his 24/7 blogging, vanity surfing.
This is the director's film. Period. Bob even said so himself. 'It will be my voice. An informed voice, but still my voice.'
The film is 12 to 18 months from any possible release. How long do you think any professional person could put up with Tucker's blind ego?
This is going to be very fun to watch. Tucker Max = great entertainment. Only not in the way he thinks.
Thank god Tucker doesn't read this blog.
A prediction for what the excuse will be for the film turning out horribly--
(just like "holy shit, acting is hard. I didn't think so before, but now I know, it's like, way hard dude.") Making a movie is hard, like, way fucking harder than I thought.
No shit, bro. We understand that you had no other choice though, with your back against the wall because everything else you touched was headed for failure. We understand that you think you're more clever than all the Hollywood nimrods that put shit movies out, and we'll understand when you figure out that you're not.
Gawker knocked him down a peg.
What the BC Woods story exposed about Tucker was:
Tucker makes a lot less money from his website than he first bragged about (4000 a week). When BC left Rudius and told somebody how much money he made, either Tucker was a liar or a thief. Yes he did grant BC some bandwidth, but he also lied about how much he actually made from advertisements.
He probably makes around 500 a week and about 25K a year, which is an income, but not quite as lucrative as he once bragged. BC telling the world that he made 82 bucks for 6 months of work proved that there is no possible way that Tucker was rolling in the dough.
There are a few more reasons for this, and mostly it's just logic talking. His advertisers are low-rent. These aren't high end items who are fighting to gain space on Tucker's site. It's fake absinthe and t-shirt ads. No knock on them, but there's no way they're paying Tucker that much money. Also, Tucker has ad space for sale. That means there is no fight to get ads on his site which means companies can pay less for the ad.
So if anything, BC Woods leaving was much worse for Tucker than vice versa.
Another aspect of BC's story was that BC had to ask repeatedly to get paid, so if you read between the lines, there's a good chance that many of the Rudius bloggers don't get paid, like Trixie and Bunny and Ryan and Corman. So not only was Tucker not rolling in the dough from Rudius, he was making what little he did off of the backs of people that are loyal to him. Mr. Jake, KFM, GC, the Bunny, Donika, all worked for free, just for the chance to "be on the ground floor of something that'll be revolutionary".
Anyone want to bet that they'll see a penny of backpay? Any portion of the $6 million that's going into Tucker's pocket?
thedirty.com > tucker
Tucker is so full of shit with what he wrote in his workout log thread: http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=19177
I don't believe for one second that he did 2 sets of 7 reps of 185 lbs on benchpress with a close grip. He also claims to have done three sets of 7 reps on 90lbs for reverse curls. No fucking way did that little out of shape pussy lift that much by himself! People his size who lift that kind of weight generally have broad shoulders and well-defined arms. Tucker Max has neither.
Doesn't this shithead tell the truth about anything?? Anyone who regularly lifts weights could tell you that his weightlifting claims are pure bullshit!
Youtube's got videos of Tucker's thoughts on rehearsal. So much funny here. First, love how the guy has to inject himself into the limelight, talking about all the direction Matt needed to play the simple Tucker character. Second, he says a couple of times about "only in Hollywood" would a narcissist have to learn to empathize, or something like that. No, only everywhere do people have to learn to grow up and quit acting like dicks, if theyre going to get ahead in life.
these fake tucker interviews are killing me. they illustrate an important point also: you're either funny or you're not. the guy who writes these things is funny, and even though he's probably just some guy working in an office somewhere, he can pull comedy gold out of his ass at will.
a guy like tucker can spend months on end trying to craft a decent script, but he's not funny (and let me be clear, when i say not funny, i mean completely unfunny, just another corny middle-america retard) and the result is inevitably horseshit. tucker's just another delusional fuck who overestimates his basically non-existent talents, but, because he's got daddy to sponge off of, he can spend his days spamming message board for traffic and, by grace of striking writers, managed to parlay that scam into a movie deal. in another life he'd just be waiting tables and moonlighting in gay porn like every other wanna-be, and once the wheels come off ihtsbih, that's exactly where he'll end up.
From professional Tucker lapdog BrianH:
Max is an asshole. It's his shtick. He knows it. We know it. He's made a lot of money from it.
But somewhere, he grew up. WE grew up. The messageboard, as a whole, grew up. Being an asshole only goes so far, and then you have to be a real human being.
Sure he has. When exactly did this transformation take place? Was it when Tucker called Jamie Tarses a "dumb cunt" and got his deal with Comedy Central pulled? That must be it.
I find it funny how Brian H is talking shit about anything on that board, considering he got called out in the worst way possible a few years back for being an upstanding douchebag.
He's the last person that board I would take advice from, and that's saying a lot since that board is filled with morons.
Want to ensure that IHTSBIH is a flop? Make all the jokes public---post all of the gag lines everywhere so that they become common, and hence, boring.
NOTHING ruins a comedy like knowing all the gags/punchlines beforehand.
All of the jokes are public, they're already in Tucker's book/stories on the website. Even worse, none of them are funny. It would be one thing if Tucker had actually exerted himself and come up with some new material. Instead, he just copied-and-pasted the "best" lines from his stories. They're funny the first couple of times you read them, but they get old. Fast. Tucker's movie is going to fail because if you've read the "Austin Road Trip" and "Tucker Fucks a Midget" stories, you know 99% of what's in the movie. The rest is just stage direction. This shit was humorous a few years ago when it was "new", now its just pathetic and stale.
That would work if all the jokes weren't already ripped off from 2 year old internet memes.
Gawker is still getting hits off of how big a douchebag Tucker is:
http://gawker.com/5036064/tucker-max-businessman
Oops, I mean Gawker is still being paid by Tucker to post about him to an audience that wouldn't see his movie anyway. That Tucker, what a shrewd business man!
New update at tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/a-z-of-rudius-part-1.html
The A-Z of Rudius, part 1
Where's part five of the Tucker interview already?
You guys wanted the infamous deleted Bunny post? Here ya go
"Think about that...five years. Long time, aint it? Think of all the things you could accomplish if you kept your head in one place for five whole years, focused all your energy toward one goal, really made your life about this one accomplishment.
Now, what if it wasn't your goal? And what if you did all that work for someone else? And say you got to the end of that five year time period, and you were totally exhausted, mentally spent, hundreds upon hundreds of hours taken from you, and it still was not enough. Never enough. You didn't get the big diet coke. You didn't get the right ice. You were around when someone contridicted. You didn't do the laundry correctly. You dared to speak when washing poop off a dog that doesn't belong to you, that you are not responsible for. You dared to exist. You dared to think that a movie project that would unequivocally NOT EXIST were it not for your endless, tireless, ceaseless efforts, would be a fun thing to watch come to fruition. You dared to expect a "Thanks for all your hard work." You dared to expect any damn thing.
That's me. I'm pathetic. Who feels sooooooorrrry for me? Do you feel bad for me? Why? I did it to my damn self. Dumbass. Time to walk.
I need a hug so bad I could puke."
^^^ Yeah, man, that was put up about a hundred posts ago. 'A' for effort, though.
tucker responded to the gawker article. you know these articles are really pissing him off. like he said in the fox news interview, "the truth prevails." i really look forward to seeing this film flop and hearing tucker's excuses.
these gawker articles on tucker are getting a shitload of page views. this newest one already has over 12,000?? no wonder they keep writing about him.
I love it, people really fucking hate Tucker.
One of the earmarks of narcissism is that the narcissist can't distinguish between 'good' attention and 'bad' attention. Attention is attention.
All of you present yourselves as enemies of Tucker, but you're giving him exactly what he wants.
Ha, ha... Tucker mentioned Gawker on his movie-blog-thing this morning.
Do you know why?
Traffic to the Tucker stories slowed. People aren't posting new comments anymore.
They're moving on to the next flavor of the week.
That's not good for Tucker.
He's sure to win the love of the masses with the "I'm not a spoiled rich kid, really!!!" stories.
He's worked hard his whole life.
Anonymous said...
Gawker is still getting hits off of how big a douchebag Tucker is:
http://gawker.com/5036064/tucker-max-businessman
Oops, I mean Gawker is still being paid by Tucker to post about him to an audience that wouldn't see his movie anyway. That Tucker, what a shrewd business man!
8/12/2008 2:26 PM
I don't know, it seems to me that lots of people that hadn't even heard of Tucker are hearing about him and might see his movie now despite the bad press. This blog has quite a few posters and even more readers who might not have known about Tucker before coming here, but now...well sufficed to say I would wager that this blog generates at least some interest to actually buy a ticket to see the movie. Out of a sense of curiosity, or even to sate their own suspicions that the movie sucks. That will be the end result of all this Thinking About Tucker. I have to admit in the time I've been here we've at least suppressed some of the more homoerotic posters interest, and hopefully even lowered the obsessive nature of the research done on a douchebag for the purposes of internet hate (the coolest kind I hear), but for all the shadenfreud I've got a feeling more than one of you will be in the theater. I got a feeling it'll actually be in the theater too. Especially if your ilk keep up this curious endeavor.
TAT
TAT I never post on here, but you're right. We'll watch his movie.
When it gets pirated and uploaded on the internet for free.
Nobody is going to pay one fucking cent to see that bullshit. I won't even download that evil on my hard drive, I'll only stream that shit.
^^^Translation: I'm only KIND of going to watch the work of the man I've been trashing lo these many months.
Don't you get it? Your eight bucks will not be missed. It's your ATTENTION that Tuckster wants, and you'll give it to him by streaming, downloading, stealing, sneaking into the theater, etc. etc. And for every anti-Tuckster schmuck who decides that they're 'only' going to STREAM the movie (or whatever), twenty more will pay to see it - you know, "just to make sure it really sucks as bad as I think it does."
Don't you get it? He's already won.
From the "Gawker, My Only Friend" thread:
"However, it seems like the bulk of Gawker's hate storm is being fueled by the "fact" that you've treated some of the Rudius authors such as BC WOODS like undervalued migrant workers by not paying them shit (which they may or may have not been expecting), and generally keeping them out of the communication loop when they looked for answers.
I just think they have a point in that a post explaining shit like this would do a service to the people who read his and any other similar Rudius sites where the posts just suddenly vanish, and apparently won't be coming back. Fair enough?"
This post will be deleted in 5, 4, 3...
If Tucker genuinely welcomed negative attention then he wouldn't persistently weed out all criticism from his message-boards.
Instead he would welcome discussion of his failed comedy central pilot and the car crash that was his appearance on Opie and Anthony.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpFu_bYkomc
thedirty.com > tucker
There is no 8 bucks getting spent on it, trust me.
And no, Tucker doesn't want the attention as much as he wants the money. If this movie goes to shit, which I believe is quite possible, we win.
Tucker's reaction to that BC post is so funny.
How can you "twist" the reality of 82 dollars...not to mention the pasted email posted.
Im sure that was taken out of context too.
You're an incredibly colossal faggot, TAT.
Don't kid yourself, everyone is goign to watch the PIRATED version of this movie.
Nobody is going to pay for that shit!
DON'T TAZE ME BRO!
I'm done with the TMMB message board. I've fought long and hard for Tucker Max, but I'm finished. His explanation of the BCWoods situation is just flat out wrong. He'll go and get people under his employ to back him? Are you fucking kidding? BCWoods showed proof of what Tucker wrote, but did Tucker explain that? No, he retreated.
Secondly, when Boozy wrote this:
"Originally Posted by Boozy
And several of us (ahem) made it known pretty early on that we thought he was at best a delusional, gossipy, self-important hack and at worst all of those things and a fraud who fabricated most, if not all, of his "non-fiction" work."
I swear to God I thought he was talking about Tucker Max. I've suspected all along that Tucker was a fraud, but out of fear I've kept my mouth shut. Boozy writing this was one of the most unintentionally hilarious things anybody has ever written on the message board.
I've spent over 3 years on that board and have excused a lot of bullshit, but this was the last draw. I'm done. I won't pay to see his movie, I won't buy his book, and I will no longer go to RMMB. I'm tired of the drama, I'm tired of the bullshit, I'm tired of the pettiness, I'm tired of the excuses, and mostly, I'm tired of Tucker Max.
Thank you Gawker, I have seen the light.
"And several of us (ahem) made it known pretty early on that we thought he was at best a delusional, gossipy, self-important hack and at worst all of those things and a fraud who fabricated most, if not all, of his "non-fiction" work."
Since when was Boozy able to spell things!!!? I am excited for him.
So wait, BC's stories are far-fetched, and for the most part are verifiable...yet Tucker who has yet to substantiate, well anything, isn't called out by the same guy?
Well Boozy, you can spell now, but you're still a fucking moron.
"And several of us (ahem) made it known pretty early on that we thought he was at best a delusional, gossipy, self-important hack and at worst all of those things and a fraud who fabricated most, if not all, of his "non-fiction" work."
Man, I can't believe Boozy went off on Tucker like that on the forum.
I love how Tucker mentions how his other Rudius "employees" will back up his version of events in re BCWoods? No shit asshole, OF COURSE those people will back you, they're so desperate to be one ofh the cool kids they'll do anything you say. It's amazing to watch people like The GC (shitty lawyer who couldn't hack it at a TTT firm), Boozy (couldn't even make it at a TTT law school), Nils (see Boozy), and Donika--a 32 year-old "editor" with no college degree who works at the gift shop of a museum--back him up. It's a veritable who's who of failure right there. Nevermind the fact that Tucker wouldn't hesitate to drop any one of them in the blink-of-an-eye if he thought it would help him out. Loyalty is a one-way street to Tucker: you must be eternally true to him, he owes you absolutely nothing in return.
Donika works at a museum store? HA.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahHAAHA!
Tucker is breeding the winners left and right.
^^^
Actually, I have no idea. I just made up that part based on some things she's mentioned around the board, namely (1) she works for free "editing" the Rudius sites (and she's a terrible editor) (2)a couple of her posts where she put up pics of the museum where she works. It was part fiction, but unlike Tucker, I am perfectly willing to admit when I exaggerate for effect. The info about the others is accurate though.
Poor Donika.
No no, i meant that literally. She is poor. Like 0 dollars.
Kind of like how Nils is fat. Like really, really fat.
So wait, Tucker didn't write that email to BCWoods?
There's no way for Tucker to spin this into a positive. Absolutely no way possible, which is why he's shutting this down.
Notice, he's now trying to come off like "I'm not really an asshole". OF COURSE PEOPLE UNDER YOUR EMPLOY ARE PARROTING HOW GREAT OF A GUY YOU ARE, EVERYBODY ELSE THINKS YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT.
I'm going to try and transcribe part five of the Tucker Max interview today or tonight. The original is a tape recording so I have to play it and type at the same time. There's like 10 parts.
;)
Another new post..
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/2008/08/tucker-max-damage-control.html
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
Rudius damage control is HILARIOUS.
Light:
Excellent article, the "print it out and rub it all over me" line was fantastic.
Keep up the great work.
I had a Tucker Max interview tape as well, but then it got ruined he threw up, she threw up, and I threw up after he thaid butth thex.
i found this link in tucker's wikipedia talk page. what a hilarious guy lol!!!1!1
http://www.law.duke.edu/student/act/DLR/issue3/joker.html
Last thing on the Gawker thing. As usual, a bunch of Tucker's fanboys chime in to ask "What's Gawker? I've never heard of the site." Sure you haven't champ. Listen, if you've managed to stumble onto Tucker's never-visited site, then you have to be internet savy enough to know what Gawker is. There are just some things that everyone knows is on the internet. You may not read it often or ever, but you still know what it is. But, the fanboys have to kiss up and act like it is some obscure website that no one goes to.
Unfortunately, these people don't know that they're using the wrong Tucker Law of the Internet to attack it. Tucker Law of the Internet has two parts to "prove" that Tucker is right whenever he is attacked by someone else on the internet. If the other site has less traffic than him, Tucker will say that the other site is just jealous of his fame/higher hit count and the fact that he is more popular is proof that he's right and they're wrong. If, like Gawker, the site gets more hits than his, Tucker will dismiss the site as one where only losers/hipsters go and that "no one" of importance reads that. Thus, Tucker is impervious to attack. Just as long as the fanboys don't ask any questions about it.
Poor Sleven, he just doesn't understand the rules. How long until he's banned?
tucker interview guy, please post more. i need a good laugh.
---TUCKER MAX INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT PART 5 -----
(When we last left off, Tucker was about to prove his stories are true, so he called some friends over.)
(The doorbell rings again. Tucker goes to answer it.)
Tucker: Get in here you assholes!
(In walks 4 people. They are…)
A fat girl.
A small frail dork with a lazy eye.
A heinous Asian girl.
A greasy haired fat doofus in a camouflage vest.
Tucker: (to the group) Tell this idiot about how I met you and what greatness you witnessed as I decimated you through superior debating skills, sheer intellect and the art of war, and shit?
Fat Girl: We were at this exclusive party at some fancy townhouse. They had bartenders and stuff. And food. Lots of food.
Lazy Eyed Dork: Tucker showed up with a small group of Navy Seals. Big muscular guys… I think they were drunk.
(Tucker smacks the Lazy Eyed Dork)
Tucker: I didn’t ask you to “think” you wall-eyed freak!
Asian Girl: Why you no rike me? You want me frip over?
Tucker: Shut up Ming-Mong before I blind fold you with dental floss!
Guy With Camo Vest: Leave her alone, dude.
Tucker: Well, well, well… If it isn’t the Pillsbury Commando. When was the last time you washed—
Reporter: Whoa, whoa – wait a minute. These four people are from one of your stories?
Fat Girl: The donuts story.
Tucker: It figures you’d remember the name, Double-wide!
Fat Girl: I’m not that fat.
Reporter: …um… your body language does say “Arby’s”
(Tucker goes over to ‘hi-five’ reporter)
Reporter: Get those micro-mitts away from me, Chinzilla.
Tucker: Well suit, have my witnesses made my case or not?
Reporter: Let me ask a few questions first.
(Tucker rolls his eyes)
Reporter: Fat girl, what is your name?
Tucker: (nervous) She doesn’t have to answer that. (to fat girl) Shut up!
Reporter: Can any of you four state your names?
Tucker: (warns) Don’t answer, assholes.
Guy With Camo Vest: What’s a name?
(Reporter reaches over and tries to touch Camo Vest guy but his hand just passes through him as if he’s a ghost. The guy is vapor.)
Reporter: Do any of you four even exist?
Guy With Camo: (sheepishly admits) …Up until minutes ago when Tucker summoned us into his fantasy land I was part of a Nimbus cloud floating over Burbank.
Asian Girl: (admits) And I was a brute-a-ful lainbow!
(Pissed, Tucker breaks out a vacuum cleaner and sucks the four witnesses inside the hose.)
(Nils enters, sweating)
Nils: I’m sorry, were you guys just talking about Arby’s?
(Tucker beats Nils with the vacuum hose until he retreats into his feeding room)
Reporter: This isn’t good you know, right?
Tucker: What? This? This is awesome and going BETTER that we expected. You people make me laugh. Keep “talking about my movie.” The word of mouth will make this movie huge.
Reporter: But “Snakes on a Plane” had the largest film buzz and word of mouth in history and it failed.
Tucker: But that’s because the script and subsequently, the film, was not good. In their case word of mouth didn’t matter. The script is the only factor.
Reporter: But people are saying your script is awful.
Tucker: Maybe so… BUT, their talking about it causes tremendous word of mouth. And word of mouth will make this huge. The script is not important.
Reporter: Are you mentally retarded?
Tucker: I’m Tucker Fucking Max.
Reporter: So it seems… Look. I asked for someone you know to call in on speaker phone. Do you mind?
Tucker: I can’t grow enough dicks to handle the pussy that is thrown at me.
Reporter: For the record, I haven’t seen ANY pussy being thrown at you, ever.
Tucker: That’s because you’ve never been here for “Tucker: After Dark” asshole!
(Nils enters wearing a Speedo carrying two buckets of KFC Original Recipe)
Nils: Are you ready for another all-night marathon of ‘Mario Kart’, Tucker?
(Tucker opens a closet, pushes Nils in it and SLAMS the door shut)
(The phone rings)
Reporter: (pushes speaker phone button) Is that you, Dennis?
Daddy Max: To the Max, baby!
Tucker: (surprised) Daddy?
--WHAT WILL MISTER MAX REVEAL? (MANY THINGS)----
STAY TUNED
----END OF PART FIVE ------
"tucker interview guy, please post more. i need a good laugh."
I posted #5 -- but I got to say, what Tucker's Dad reveals in part 6 is weird. Trust me.
That made my day.
haha awesome. i look forward to revelations regarding "why i fired my spoiled son from my restaurant business" and "how large the checks i send tucker each month are".
Dennis Max! Fuck - this is better than mah stories.
Dennis Max, friend to the prostitute.
Tucker's father had a stipulation in a document he signed before he got married, that if he were to fool around on his wife she would get around 50K per year they were married.
Dennis Max then fucked a hooker in a hotel in Colorado, GOT CAUGHT, and then tried to have the legal document dismissed. When TUcker explains that his dad's divorce "made it into Time Magazine" it wasn't because Dennis Max was famous, it was because Dennis Max is a douchebag and Time was exposing that fact.
Oh and Tucker, don't worry, give it 5 years and all the Propetia and Mynoxidil won't stop you from losing your hair, just like your old man.
Well, the turd doesn't fall far from the asshole.
And how funny is it that Tucker slammed the pillsbury dough boy for being fat then hangs out with Drunkafatass rex.
Here's the article about his father.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,999272,00.html
And here's a picture of his father.
http://www.maxsgrille.com/images/pic_dennis.jpg
Hey at least when his movie fails, he'll have that male pattern baldness to look forward to.
http://tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com/
small new piece
Boozy has always been an idiot though. It's nothing new.
Tucker's list of cameos are a virtual "who's that?" of people most people don't know and don't care about.
"Hey guys, guess what? This is going to be huge. In my movie I don't have just one, but TWO porn stars. My film will be revolutionary because in my movie the porn stars don't fuck. That's right people, they're hear to ACT!!!! Is that not genius? Do you realize how many fans of Puma Swede are going to want to see her ACT?!?! I guarantee you that all those people who are seeing her fuck on sites like Freeones have been saying to themselves 'you know, I'd really like to see Puma Swede act, I'm tired of just seeing her fuck'. Do you not see the genius of my movie?"
"Hey, I got some UFC guys to play cops, but not just cops, prison guards. That will automatically bring in all their fans who will want to see them ACT!!! Because I know that all of the UFC fans want to see their hero in a mainstream film delivering my awesome dialogue to my totally revolutionary movie. I'm an idiot for even thinking this was going to make just 25 million on the opening weekend, it's at least going to bring in 50, maybe 75 million with all the Puma Swede and UFC fans who will definitely come to see them ACT."
---TUCKER MAX INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT PART 6 -----
(When we last left off, Tucker’s Dad had just called into the interview. He is on speaker phone)
Daddy Max: (on phone) My little Buckaroo! How the movie stuff coming, kiddo?
Tucker: Revolutionary! We’re having food on the set.
Daddy Max: Isn’t that called catering?
Reporter: I tried to tell him that.
Daddy Max: Well, I tried telling him not to act like a dickhead his whole life – but kids will be kids, right?
Tucker: Daddy! Hang up the phone. This is bullshit.
Reporter: Mister Max we appreciate you taking the time for this call. We know you are a very busy man who owns and operates a large chain of restaurants in Florida.
Daddy Tucker: To the Max, baby. Been in the business since the 70s and things are really cooking. Hard work, strong character, focused goals and a clear vision – plus an all you can eat salad bar - have really paid off! LOL! [editor’s note: Mr. Max actually said “LOL”]
Reporter: You can’t argue with success. The numbers speak for themselves, Dennis.
Daddy Tucker: So true, baby. Oh… can you guys hold for a moment, I have to take care of something – (speaks to someone on his end -- “…Bobby, can you rush two shrimp cocktails out to table eight, and bring some crab cakes to the Siegel’s..” ) – Sorry about that, where were we?
Reporter: We were talking about your restaurant business.
Daddy Max: You mean the business Tucker inherits the day I croak?
Reporter: Well, he does deserve it, right?
Daddy Max: If you call getting two buckets of ice for the bar, wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil for a total of about10 hours, and once working coat check on a Sunday, I’d say no – but the little prick always seems to get what he wants in the end, right?
Tucker: Daddy, I want an Ompalompa. And I want it now!
Daddy Max: What happened to the last one I bought you?
Tucker: …Nils ate it.
Reporter: Can we please be serious for a moment?
Daddy Max: Sure, baby. Sometimes we Max cats just bust out in comedy.
Reporter: As a restaurant owner, you can probably answer a simple hypothetical question.
Daddy Max: Waiting for the words, Kid.
Reporter: If you owned a Donut Shop in a major metropolitan city, what time would your first kitchen staff member arrive each morning?
Daddy Max: Donuts and any bakery related businesses need to focus on one aspect to survive. And that’s freshness. People come to donut shops and bakeries because they know the products have been made that day. A donut business sees 88% of their business in the first three hours of any business day. I would have bakers there prepping around 3am, but no later than 3:30 or 4am at the latest.
Reporter: So if some idiot drove a car into a donut shop’s front window in Chicago at 5 in the morning he’d probably be greeted by an angry staff and/or a few patrons?
Daddy Max: Absolutely. What a ridiculous question.
Reporter: I know, I’m sorry. I just needed to clear up something. Thanks, Dennis.
Daddy Max: Sure, Baby. Anything to help my boy.
Reporter: Speaking of your boy, how did you decide to name him Tucker?
Tucker: Daddy, please just hang up.
Daddy Max: The story of how we named him Tucker is wild, baby. Not sure if I could go into that here. It’s a bit racy, if you know what I mean.
Reporter: Dennis, this is the Internet. Anything goes.
Daddy Max: Here’s the deal, back in the early 70s I was a casting agent for many gay porno movies. I was very good at my job and knew how to spot hot young talent. I eventually managed half a dozen gay actors, including Peter Wang, Rod Johnson, Steve Shaftsmore and Miles O’ Wood. The night before Tucker was born a young guy came to our office looking for work. He had a great body, solid cock, nice back porch – the whole nine yards if you will. But what he didn’t have was a good gay porn star name. So my partner and I came up with the name “Tucker.” It was perfect, baby. The next morning I was filling out the paperwork for the actor’s membership to the Film Actors Guild—
Reporter: Don’t you mean the Screen Actors Guild?
Daddy Max: No, the Screen Actors Guild, SAG as it’s known, was for movie actors. Film Actors Guild, or FAG as it was known, was strictly for gay porn stars.
Reporter: I see.
Daddy Max: Anywho, so what happens is that the morning Tucker was born I screwed up and switched his paperwork with the gay actor’s. I brought the “Tucker” form to the hospital and sent the birth info for “Otto” to the Film Actor’s Guild. The hospital typed Tucker on the form and that was that.
Reporter: So Tucker’s name was really supposed to be Otto?
Daddy Max: Two O’s, Two T’s, baby. Otto Max.
Reporter: Why Otto?
Daddy Max: Well, when we did a sonogram on his mother at the hospital, we saw that Otto’s – er, I mean Tucker’s head was already the size of a full-grown adult. He looked like one of those caricatures drawing from the fifties where the head is like 8 times the size of the body. We had to use a crane during birth. It was a freak sh—
Tucker: I hate you, old man!
Daddy Max: Don’t say that, Buckaroo.
(Tucker starts to sob)
Reporter: But why the name Otto?
Daddy Max: Well, with the giant melon head and all we were sure he’d be a drooling basket case, or at least have learning problems. I figured if he’s dyslexic and reading shit backwards at least he’d be able to spell his name correctly.
Reporter: That’s pretty smart actually.
Daddy Max: The Max mind is always ten steps ahead of the game, baby. That’s how I thrive while the others survive, cheech.
Reporter: What ever happened to Otto, the porn actor?
Daddy Max: Poor bastard never got his career off the ground. We booked him in a film, I forget the name, either “Shitty Shitty, Bang Bang” or “Shower Cops #7” – whatever it was. Otto Rodz never got past his name. It didn’t work. He left after that one film and moved to Los Angeles and lived with some roommates in the shady part of town. Tried to be a body-builder… Wrote some shitty script about his life or whatever. Total failure, baby.
Reporter: Tucker, why haven’t you mentioned any of this before?
Silence.
Reporter: Tucker, are you there?
Daddy Max: Buckaroo?
---WHERE THE HELL IS TUCKER??? ---
To be continued…
----END OF PART SIX ------
Ha, ha, ha.... 'Miles O'Wood.'
I propose that we all start referring to Tucker exclusively as 'Otto' henceforth.
Where is Tucker?! The suspense!
I just read the Time article and all I could think was "That's it?!?!? That's the entire story that Tucker was kinda bragging about how fucked up his family life was? A one-paragraph blurb about the shit his father did when Tucker was already in college/law school." Not exactly the major national news event Tucker made it out to be.
Shocking.
Is it really a cameo if no one knows who those people are?
awesome work again interview guy. one small complaint though; i know the conventional wisdom on here is that tucker wanted to be a bodybuilder, but i'm about 90% sure he wanted to be an mma fighter. that would be more in line with his creepy fetish for ultra-masculine he-man types.
I really wonder if the new Gawker article is true or not. It seems like this is Tucker's plan for trying to "play" Gawker to make up for his earlier humiliations.
I doubt it happened. I think Tucker is just trying to make himself seem like less of a douche when he can "pwn" Gawker.
^^^^
Reluctantly (because I really want it to be true), I agree with this. There are a couple of points that lead me to think this is Tucker's attempt to get back at Gawker.
(1)It's WAY too convenient. This should have come out last week if it were true.
(2)A number of the details -- living in the backyard, maybe let him use the bathroom inside, having crossbows aimed at him -- are identical to ones Tucker joked about doing to his assistant before getting to Shreveport (in the "Help Us Trick Out the Party House" lamefest).
(3)The writing style is too similiar to that of Tucker. Whether he sent it in himself or had an underling do it, I'm sure Tucker'd want to write the "letter" himself.
I'm about 85% sure this post (and only this one) is a plant by Tucker. The reason he's doing it is so, a few days from now, he can show that he was the one that sent it in, and that fact thus "proves" ALL of the Gawker articles were fake. They weren't obviously, but Tucker will use the doubt created by the one to impugn the whole. It's a logical fallacy, but one the fanboys will eagerly eat up, and may even get a few people who are wavering in their support for Tucker to convince themeselves that he's just as "awesome" as he says he is.
All in all, if it is a fake, it's actually a pretty good one for Tucker, he's making the best of a really bad situation.
I call latest PA Gawker email fake.
Must be Greg Dunaway, former (?) photo guy.
Point: He only mentions the choke hold incident in passing.
Counterpoint: the last batch of ihtsbih flickr photos with his credit appeared on 8/12 (taken on 8/11). There's been 1 new photo since then, uncredited, taken on 8/13, uploaded on 8/15.
If no new Greg Dunaway photos show up the flickr account, then it's probably legitimate.
No, I think it's Ian Claudius that quit.
Greg doesn't mention quitting in his blog. http://greggyd.blogspot.com/
Of late he also he also has been infuriated with his other assistant Ian.
Ian doesn't mention it either....
http://turningpro.net/
That was the best interview installment yet! Thanks.
Tucker's really into the scat/watersports, isn't he?
- girls piss in his bed
- pisses his own bed
- butt sex => covered in fecces and vomit
- takes pictures of bunny's giant turds
- as revenge, takes giant shits and doesn't flush toilet
Why does Tucker need three assistants? It seems he spends all day blogging, writing and monitoring RMMB, taking pictures, and shooting boring videos for youtube. I thought this was an "indy"; I doubt any of the real producers or the director has more than one assistant.
I don't think Gregg quit.
I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Gregg is Caducus? He posted on the board today at 3:30 and it still indicates that he's an admin.
If he actually quit, I don't think Tucker would ban him, but he certainly wouldn't be an admin. Tucker usually revokes those privileges faster than you can say, "LIAR!"
How can Otto make a movie and surf/monitor all these message boards at the same time?
Gregg's last blog entry is 8/10. It definitely wasn't a fan's eye view of Tucker.
The emails are from the 8/11.
8/15/2008 6:17 PM:
Caducus is Jeff, the guy who did the choking. Greg, the other assistant/one choked out went by the name NolanNight. Interestingly, the thread where Greg and Jeff seem to have gotten into it, the one that led to Jeff choking Greg as "punishment", has been deleted. Wow, imagine that, someone in Tucker's circle trying to go back and delete history. Who could have seen this coming?
And Jeff/Caducus really seems to have some anger issues. Another shocker.
Gregg is not Cadacus. Jeff is Cadacus. You can verify that for yourself by going here and clicking the relevant links:
http://ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/archives/this_is_why_you.html
efb
Forgot to add this. The start of the Greg/Jeff spat seems to be that Jeff said Greg throws like a girl and Greg posted this on the board:
Yeah, yeah. Go back to your angry masturbation and drunken mumblings about women. Only Tucker is allowed to demean me in such a public forum. And who insults people via Youtube? Nerd.
So, Jeff's response was clearly within reason. For a psycopath.
I got scooped (by one minute!), but I do have this going for me:
That thread was not, in fact, deleted. You can see for yourselves.
From Greg's blog post:
Of late he also he also has been infuriated with his other assistant Ian. While I'm glad that the red target on my back has moved, I know it could only be seconds before I've done something to earn his ire.
Greg's post is full of reasons why he has become disillusioned with %Tucker the person, but not necessary the project. That fact and the quote leads me to think he isn't the person who leaked to Gawker (if it's real) but it is instead the assistant Ian.
Or, maybe Greg is the person who "leaked." Looks like he used to work in publishing, just like the Gawker source.
http://greggyd.blogspot.com/2007/06/book-publishing.html
I hope this is true but I'll reserve judgment til I see some further proof.
On the point of it possibly being a fake, it'd be the most ridiculous thing for Tucker to say "Hahah we faked evidence and they totally bought it - therefore everything else they posted must be a lie too."
If it is fake though, it proves that Gawker are really getting to him.
On the upside, if it's real it shows how even Matt Czuchry hates him and exposes him even further as a huge prick.
As far as I can see it's win-win whether it's real or not. The only people who're going to be "impressed" if it's a complex fakery are the people on the RMMB. And it'll only cause people who hate him already to hate him even more.
This latest story is just more kindling for the fire that's being built underneath Tucker Max.
It doesn't matter whether the incident is true or not, as it's a lame attempt by a socially clueless Tucker to demonstrate that he's an alpha. If you're a social retard like Tucker, you believe an alpha is someone who acts like 8th grade bully.
Where did this assistant come from anyway? Was he a member of Tucker's message board? Because he looks exactly how I picture them: Awkward, scared, and too damaged to stand up for themselves in the real world. That was the one quality that made me believe it was real.
The choking video seems to have been taken down from youtube.
If it does turn out to be genuine then Tucker is in big trouble.
Well, if it's a planted story by Tucker, then what does he hope to gain? It doesn't really spell out anything positive, if anything it makes his come off like a wannabe Don Simpson (sans coke habit).
Tucker's entire response was lame. If it's a plant, then why would he show his hand? If it's a fake from a 3rd party that he doesn't know about, then come out and say "this is another bullshit story". My assistants are busy at work right now.
hopefully somebody had the foresight to save that video.
^
In terms of a lawsuit, enough people have seen the video and publically commented on it to establish what had happened.
The fact that the video was pulled does make me wonder. I thought the video and story were plants. Now I am not so sure. This is exactly the kind of event that could cause Darko to recall or fire Tucker.
Of course Darko told him to take the video down. Their names are attached to the film, do you think they want to be known as "that film"?
Darko's investors have to be really pissed right now. This is turning into a sideshow attraction, and if it doesn't make money it's the kind of project that will turn Ted Hamm's investors to look for other projects outside the Darko line. People in Hollywood all told those guys that it was a mistake to get in bed with Tucker, now they are finding out it's true. This will severely damage Darko's brand more than enhance it.
I have a copy of the video if such a thing should arise.
It wouldn't even matter. If a lawsuit is brought up, Tucker has a copy of the video. If he doesn't comply by giving it up as evidence, he'd be breaking the law. If he erases it or tries to "fix" it, then he'd also be breaking the law.
Personally, if I were the kid, I'd sue. It's a guaranteed win, and with Tucker taking down the video it's almost admitting guilt. Let's look at what Tucker did in a legal sense:
He was boss, said that all things go through him.
He told an employee to assault another employee.
He videotaped the entire ordeal.
He laughed as the employee was rendered unconscious by another employee.
He laughed as the unconscious employee "gurgled".
He took the tape and publicly humiliated the employee on YouTube and on his blog.
This kid could easily walk out with a half a million before it ever went to trial. He could sue every producer involved with the film and he'd win. It wouldn't even go to trial. The best part is, Tucker's insurance bond wouldn't even cover this discretion, so it would come out of Tucker's and Darko's pocket. He could sue and get the biggest piece of the film of anybody involved and he hasn't stopped working a week ago.
If I were Gregg, I'd sue. It certainly won't ruin him in Hollywood, but it would ruin Tucker, both financially as well as his name. Nobody would look down on Gregg for this situation, it's clearly beyond his control and he is doing so because he has no other way of recourse.
I know lawyers from Tucker's board (well, his board from 3 years ago, back when it was cool) who would probably do the case for free.
Otto Max rules!
Here's an appropriate comment in Greg's blog, when he discusses the choking incident:
I hate to say this Greg, but you are acting like a rape victim. Some rape victims try their best afterward to "move on" and reconcile their feelings toward the rapist. Frequently the rationalize that they somehow deserved it, or that the rapist was somehow entitled to have his way ("This is Tucker too" *gush*), or that they've "moved on".
Stop rationalizing it. He did something that will haunt your soul and your self-respect forever. He raped your esteem, and like a fat girl prop in a Tucker Max story, you're just going to drop your mouth and pretend it didn't happen.
Sue him. While I laude your honesty in writing, I am deeply disturbed by your willingness to become a eunich, or a fat Asian girl in the Tucker Max book of life.
Well it is starting to seem like it's true.
Fuck yeah! I hope he sues - if I was at work and a co-worker held me in a chokehold til I collapsed I would quit the second I got my breath back. There seems to be some sad macho-centric view expoused on the RMMB that he became "more manly" because he didn't say anything about it.
And how fucking sad is the nutjob that attacked him? Someone calls you out on a messageboard and you conspire to physically attack them in real life?
Fucking douchebags.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=675886#post675886
^the thread for the chokeout blog entry.
tucker max is a douchebag.
GREG...please sue these characters.
Isn't it all just soo typical?
This is how they fight--they sneak up behind you.
Cowardly. Unhonorable. Unmanly.
http://ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/archives/this_is_why_you.html
Everyone copy and paste these photos of the confession for posterity:
http://ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com/archives/this_is_why_you.html
"Don't fuck with my AP, or Greg learns a hard lesson - July 2, 2008 04:14 PM
On the movie, I have one primary assistant, Jeff Waldman. Jeff has been working for me for over a year and is a smart, resourceful guy who is a master problem solver. His official title on the movie is "Associate Producer" and even though it sounds fancy to the uninitiated, to anyone in Hollywood it means "producers assistant."
I have another assistant on the movie, Greg Dunaway. He is technically not employed by the movie, but works directly for me. He takes all the photos and videos for the website, and though he is a pretty talented kid, I got him for super cheap because he literally just graduated from film school a month ago.
Jeff is former Air Force, grew up in a lower middle class neighborhood in Palmdale, California (which is shithole), and is just a tough dude. I mean that literally--in his spare time, he does two things: Makes knives and fights. Like, real, professional MMA fighting; he gets into a cage with tiny gloves on his hands and punches, kicks or chokes people out. A good guy to have your back.
Greg on the other hand...he came from a different background than Jeff. Rich kid from Phoenix, exclusive private school, snobby Catholic college, frat guy (no popped collars), and a film major...yeah, he thinks he's better'n us. Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy, and if he keeps working hard the day will come when he is a successful and well respected director...but at this point in his life, he is a douchebag in the way that all guys are when they are 22 (believe me I was WAY worse at his age). Being that he grew up rich and sheltered makes it twice as bad. He hasn't quite learned that in the real world, actions have consequences.
Yesterday, Jeff posted something on the thread about how Greg punches like a girl (he does, I've seen him):
"Honestly there isn't a day that goes by where Bob doesn't make a joke and everyone stares at him like he just accidentally declared a patient dead. God bless him, he gets the vision and will bring it to life, but he tells a joke like Tucker's assistant throws a punch."
For some reason I cannot conceive of, Greg decided that he would snap back at Jeff. In a confrontational way!:
"Yeah, yeah. Go back to your angry masturbation and drunken mumblings about women. Only Tucker is allowed to demean me in such a public forum. And who insults people via Youtube? Nerd."
That was yesterday. Today at the office, Jeff hands me a video camera and says, "Follow me." This is what happened:
A few things:
-Don't get your panties in a tizzy--Greg is fine, and a rear naked choke is perfectly safe as long as it is released quickly, which Jeff did.
-I'm actually proud of Greg. He showed up on set thinking his shit didn't stink, and in a week, he has humbled himself and really started to learn. There are other reasons that Greg needs to learn a lesson that I won't put up on the blog to save him from the embarrassment (because deep down, he is a good kid). The fact he took his DESERVED humility like a man is proof he is growing up. Good for him. We all have to get our butts kicked a few times to get straight--sadly, Greg's whipping is now on YouTube.
-My favorite part is how Murph comes over and licks him to wake him up. She is such a sweet little pup.
-Greg is my video guy, so he actually had to edit the video of him getting choked out. Awesome.
-Notice how calm Jeff stays. Dude is like Hannibal fucking Lecter. I am never going to cross him. This is a still of his face mid-choke. Wow. "
Wow, Jeff Waldman is fucked if he tries to get onto another film. Even if he doesn't get sued, who is going to want to hire him?
That thread ... Jesus. What monumental jerks.
A piggybank-breaking lawsuit is the kindest thing that could possibly happen to this crowd.
I love how Otto paints Greg as a pampered rich kid. Like Otto grew up in south central.
Whoever has a copy of that video, reupload it please. Whether to youtube, or the flv/mp4 to rapidshare or some place - wherever.
Did we confirm that Gregg did, in fact, quit?
Oh, and comment 3000.
I don't know if that's awesome or horribly sad.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=675886#post675886
^the thread for the chokeout blog entry.
I'm reposting this. read the thread and see how much of a douchebag he is (in case you didn't already know). i love it, we're watching the downfall of tucker max and it's going perfect.
From the digg comments when that blog entry "Jesse Bradford on being Slingblade" made it on digg:
I just got to say, I used to think TM was pretty funny, and then I had the displeasure of having to be around him. I actually heard about him and his "funny" stories through his cousin....you know the one that got kicked out of the Merchant Marine Academy. When he transferred to UT he thought he'd play for our club lacrosse team (we were pretty pumped about it, dude was a beast of an attackmen) but unfortunately he used up his 4 years at the Academy and since club rules follow NCAA rules, he couldn't play for us. So like any lacrosse player enjoying their final years at school, his was spent drinking with us at the team's house on campus.
A few weeks later, he mentions to us "Oh yea, my cousin is coming in. He's hilarious, read his *****, blah blah blah...". He makes it to our house to party with us, and in about 45 minutes we realized, this guy is a complete ass hat. Then after 2 grueling days of his presence, he decides to Immortalize us by talking about us in his trip to UT (here's the link to the story http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/the ... ).
What we couldn't figure out was, where the hell did he come up with about 90% of the material? Because only about 10% of it was accurate to what happened (we got drunk, went to the game, came back to the house, passed out, drank more.... the end. Suddenly it's not so funny now is it?). Unless he's got some secret identical twin he isn't telling anyone about, because he was with us the whole damn weekend (dear god....he was so obnoxiously loud, you could hear him over everyone at a party with 300 people at it). If I had the choice of having to be around him listening to him tell girls he has a funny website and that they should all line up to sleep with him because of it, or saw off my own hand with a chainsaw, I'd totally be like Ash....
I hope I spoiled everyone's image of the awesomely unfunny Tucker Max
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=675886#post675886
someone should save these posts before he pulls the thread, like he pulled the youtube video....
somebody needs to contact gawker and tell them to update the story about the the assistant who quit, and how it actually is a real story. send them the link to greg's blog. if you read the gawker article, tucker said to greg that if he wants his check, jeff has it, and he'll be in his area soon. and he mentions they'll have a video recorder available for the dvd extras. it all makes sense now.
Written by Daphne, it has since been taken down.
"I get the joke...it is funny bashing Gawker for their lack of credibility and so-called leads, but there seems to be something mentioned in this thread that does indeed need to be addressed.
Why are your fans (the individuals who essentially fuel the ads and generate the money you receive from Rudius Media) not notified when some one leaves? I also think it is a bit of a shady move to say that you have a side of the story (regarding BC Woods) but not being willing to share it. He was able to back up his story with e-mails, do you not have similar proof? Do you not feel you owe anything to the fans of Rudius because you are indeed that much of an asshole?"
That's awesome.
maybe just maybe douchebags don't finish first....
i wonder if matt czursky
1) reads this blog
and
2) what he thinks
. . .
hello matt
we know you read this
so tell us
who's your daddy now?
matt czursky is quite effeminate which is why girls dump him for real men like orlando bloom.
A little more evidence that the Gawker post may be real. Donika let this little nugget slip:
And sometimes in order to have dignity the only thing you can do is walk. Which is what this person did. So don't act like he didn't take care of his own business by not rearranging the situation to his liking. He might not have liked it, but it's important that it goes a certain way. Dignity can be maintained on everyone's part sometimes, not by force, but by recognition that it's time to make a dignified exit.
Certainly not definitive, but helps bolster the case. Also, Tucker mentions that he doesn't have any video of SlingBlade's recent visit to the set. Didn't Greg handle the videos/You Tubes? Again, not definitive but definitely adds weight to the idea it's real.
The hardest part of all this for me has been watching people on the RMMBs, who at one time I liked and respected, rationalizing Tucker's increasingly anti-social behavior.
Either they're assholes or they're cowards.
the funniest thing about this trainwreck
is that it's ending everyone's career
it's the friggin' Titanic.
Absinthe donuts:
10:20: We station ourselves in the kitchen. A fat girl walks in. It's game time. "Well, say goodbye to all the leftovers."
[To the fat guy with greasy hair in the camo vest] "Look out everyone! It's the Pillsbury Commando! Hey Chunk, when was the last time you washed your hair? Does it give you more hit points to have that grease helmet? I hate to break the news, but +5 defense only counts in Dungeons and Dragons."
UT Weekend:
-A fat white guy in camouflage pants: "LOOK OUT! IT'S THE PILLSBURY COMMANDO! ALL YOU CAN EAT?!? THE JOKE'S ON THEM!!! Hmmm, steak or chicken, steak or chicken? WHY NOT BOTH? SAY GOODBYE TO ALL THE LEFTOVERS."
Either they're assholes or they're cowards.
A little from Column A, a little from Column B.
Actually, the really interesting thing in all the is has been watching the slow bleed of Tucker supporters get fed up with him. I think the breaking point came when Gawker put up BCWoods' story and included e-mails. For the first time, people could read Tucker's own words, without his spin on them, and judge for themselves. And a number of people found he really was full of shit.
Don't get me wrong, this won't be like a movie where some major climatic moment is reached and there is a rush to resolution. All this has done is open up the eyes of a few more former fans, ones who are honest enough to see the reality for what it is
Will this be the "end" of Tucker, the point where everything crashes and burns? No. Tucker will always have his deluded posse of Rudius people so bereft of any purpose/skill in life that they will HAVE to support him. And the teenage wannabe fanboys will remain. But a tipping point has been reached. I'd bet over the coming weeks/months you're going to see more and more people get fed up and just leave. Actually, you won't see them, but you'll see the results when every RMMB thread has the same dozen members posting over and over.
Tucker, it's over. You'll go down, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Perhaps its fitting. If Tucker failed in an epic fashion, he'd still be famous. Instead, he's going to suffer what is, for him, the most agonzing fate: he'll be forgotten and ignored.
wtf was czursky thinking indeed?
8/16/2008 9:07 PM:
That's brilliant, great catch! Wow, Tucker can't even be creative enough to think up new lies, he has to recycle his old ones.
Excluding rotc/military/hunting, the last time I saw someone wearing camouflage was probably the early/mid 80s. How is it that tucker manages to find these fashion rejects everywhere he goes?
Not to mention he dresses like a spaz himself.
i wonder if robert green is rewriting his "laws of power books" which nobody who is anybody has ever taken seriously.
tucker is a nobody. great branding.
Here's more evidence supporting the thesis Gregg quit:
Donika said...
Hi Greg,
That was really something, and very prettily, honestly written. I wish you all best, and have no doubt about your future success.
D.
6:40 PM
http://greggyd.blogspot.com/2008/08/halfway-point.html#comments
I hope Gregg sues and presses criminal charges, because Tucker always talks shit about how smart he is, but there is really nothing dumber than videotaping yourself committing a crime and putting it on the internet.
it's like the opposite of bullshit stories about drunk driving a car into a donut shop!
A comment from Tucker's interview with his dad makes sense--
"Reporter: As a restaurant owner, you can probably answer a simple hypothetical question.
Daddy Max: Waiting for the words, Kid.
Reporter: If you owned a Donut Shop in a major metropolitan city, what time would your first kitchen staff member arrive each morning?
Daddy Max: Donuts and any bakery related businesses need to focus on one aspect to survive. And that’s freshness. People come to donut shops and bakeries because they know the products have been made that day. A donut business sees 88% of their business in the first three hours of any business day. I would have bakers there prepping around 3am, but no later than 3:30 or 4am at the latest.
Reporter: So if some idiot drove a car into a donut shop’s front window in Chicago at 5 in the morning he’d probably be greeted by an angry staff and/or a few patrons?
Daddy Max: Absolutely. What a ridiculous question."
Who would own a donut shop and not be up and baking at 5:00am?
^^^^above guy^^^^
That is a great point! Donut shops and all bakery's have people there way early.
I reconized that story as bullshit when Tucker was called out on Opie & Anthony. In tuckers written version he says something like (Paraphrasing here) "I am inside the donut shop ,glass crunches beneath my feet, the car and myself are both inside..ect"
When O&A question him he says (again paraphrasing) "Well if you think about it it was just a busted window"
The dick is a liar straight up.
On another note. I can not believe the members of "Freak Safari"(Where BC woods hysterical writtings can be found) have been able to contain themselves and not talk about this whole thing. I belive Otto max is refered to there as .."he's who's name shall not be spoken" Gotta give them credit. They broke off from tucker years ago and refuse to admit he even exsist. Rob has 10X the talent tucker does.
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?s=c2f496568efbf2cf1500dd791350642f&t=22985&page=3
bobgosse:
"dear god
you guys are morons..."
What, Bob, you only just noticed?
I assume that the Bobgosse ID on the RMMB was fake as his comments have been deleted. The best one was about Tucker not getting along with any of the actors or his staff.
maybe douchebaggery isn't the path to power after all, as robert green advised tucker.
The people on freak safari admit tucker exists, they just dont like bringing him up because freak safari isnt about tucker max.
i go to both boards but lurk at freak safari, and tuckers board even though it has so many people sucks compared to the guy that does freak safari. that place is just way more funny.
Why do you lurk? Man up and post. Nobody's going to jump down your throat. You can write coherently. That's a start.
According to this blogger, Tucker has been banned from the set.
http://ephemerist.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/tucker-max-banished-from-film-set/
I was on both boards. The TMMB was pretty fantastic about 2 years ago. It was funny and it kept you on your toes. At the time, Tucker seemed like a regular guy who could speak to just about everybody. Yes he was the master of his domain, but there wasn't really a threat of getting banned for joking around with him.
Then the book started selling and his ego went out of control. People were getting banned left and right and anything you would say that was counter to what Tucker was talking about would be erased and you'd be in danger of getting banned.
Then Rob was banned for whatever reason and started his own site. This came right about the time when Tucker went on the O&A show. These factors led to a number of the best posters on TMMB to leave for FreakSafari.
Couple this with the growing ego of Tucker in 2006-07 and you can see why TMMB is almost a parody of it's former self. There are no more interesting posters there, and those whom I found to be funny who stay there are now just "yes men" for Tucker. The place suffers from the constant group think that really just kills it for me. Anything said that goes against what Tucker says is immediately scrubbed. Who wants that shit? Who wants the constant internet drama?
While I don't really post on FS anymore, it's a much better board than the TMMB. I have to give Rob credit, he hasn't said shit about Tucker and he still has most of TMMB's best posters on board. I still give Rob's site some traffic whereas I erased my link to TMMB over 2 years ago and other than checking it out from time to time to see how far it's gone, I don't post there at all.
Really when you think about it, what do you get for posting on TMMB? A bunch of teenagers and douchebags, that's what. The whole board is there to feed Tucker's ego, nothing more. Yes, he gives people "access" to his reality as he decides it is, but seriously, it's a cult of personality over there, nothing more.
The tipping point for Tucker and the TMMB occurred two years ago and it's been a very long downhill ride for him ever since. His "success" since then has been matched by even greater failure. Any honesty or sincerity that was on that board two years ago has been replaced by... well a douchebag who lies a lot.
Shame really.
I don't know how true the story is of Tucker being barred from set. Unless this was just decreed this weekend, it's false. There are photos of Tucker on the set from "Day 19" in the film file, although the pictures of him on the set sort of stop after the early morning shoot with those two MMA guys.
I've heard rumors about this as well, although I don't believe it. I think this story is bullshit, but we'll see.
The rumors of Otto being thrown off the set are 100% false. Do not believe any of these latest rumors. He is so desperate to get past the gawker ass kicking he suffered, he is planting these outrageous stories so he can claim that he was behind ALL the stories from day one.
Otto reads this site about ever hour.
"The rumors of Otto being thrown off the set are 100% false. Do not believe any of these latest rumors. He is so desperate to get past the gawker ass kicking he suffered, he is planting these outrageous stories so he can claim that he was behind ALL the stories from day one.
Otto reads this site about ever hour."
You would think a writer of Otto's caliber would be able to plant crappy stories in blogs that people actually read.
Oh wait, he's a shitty writer, my bad.
That blog posting about him getting tossed from set is one of his own sites. Move on, fake story.
Nice try buft seths.
Looks like Tucker might get a chance to try out "buft seths" first-hand when he goes to prison for aiding and albeiting an assault.
this is pretty good. in the thread for the post "favorite cameo yet" a kid asks 'why leak the cameos?'. tucker says a lot of mma sites will pick up the story. somebody posted a link to a messageboard talking about these fighters being in the movie, and a bunch of people rag on tucker. looks like this cheap internet publicity doesn't do you much good when you're a lying douchebag.
http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f2/forrest-griffin-mac-danzig-playing-cops-tucker-max-movie-source-831722/
They nailed it!
Whenever I hear about MMA fighters in movies, I always get the suspicion that they know the movie will be bad, and that they're trying to reach a market that would otherwise not see the movie.
i have yet to see an mma fighter be in anything half decent, with chuck liddel and entourage being the exception..
i dont get it, what do fighters know about acting
He [Forrest Griffin] was on SVU, and he was awful. He actually said that he had movie offers prior to that episode that disappeared after it aired.
He doesn't understand that after this movie is made, that guy will be a HOUSEHOLD NAME!
Here's the thing... right now, Otto's doing 'damage control' on the stories that have hit the net in the last two weeks; the idea is to create confusion and doubt, so that he can assert indirectly that the script debacle was his doing from the start (which it was not).
What does that say about a guy who prides himself on his supposed personal commitment to honesty and forthrightness? You don't know what he's telling the truth about and what he's lying about. Is that the fruit of a man's labor of honesty? Why doesn't he just own up to his past actions, good and bad (BC Woods, Bunny, the script, etc.) Instead, he's playing games about who did what, when, why, etc.
My point is that these are not the actions of an honest man or an artist, who simply goes about creating his art and lets the winds blow where they may.
He's trying to be strategic, but it comes off as laughable.
It always cracks me up how he thinks he's this strategic genius, when he's just an idiot. I'm seriously just laughing at him at this point; it's just too pathetic, because what he's doing is just so obvious.
He thinks the he and his band of idiots will control the Internet. Amazing. This is going to be great to watch.
Gawker is not even a huge site and they sent him into a tailspin. What will he do when he is exposed to the rest of the world as the uncool assholes he is?
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