The story below was copied from a
Facebook.com account. A link to this story in the comments to an older post awhile ago.
Tucker Max's face, meet Megan ******'s hand
Megan was discussing ball shaving with a nice man at a tailgate. Good start to this story;) NE ways, Tucker Max was also at the tailgate and started talking shit to Megan (he obviously thought she was a hot girl who would sleep w/ him if acted like an asshole, and he was showing off in front of his buddies). Megan hit him on the arm, and he said that meant Megan wanted to fuck him because if she hit him in the face, then he'd know she was mad. She then dissed his elastic waistband (yes, he was wearing elastic waistband shorts, what is he, 12?), and he said "its so stupid bitch whores like you can suck my dick without any confusion." So she slapped him in the face!!!
Tucker threw his drink at her, Candice threw her drink at Tucker with lightning fast reflexes, then he proceeded to grab Megan by her hair and hit her in the face with his pathetically small hands. With a bruised face, and a bruised ego, he took his shriveled penis back to his buddies.
In Tucker Max's own words, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." Oh, and he hits girls.
15,917 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2201 – 2400 of 15917 Newer› Newest»Assholes who finish first never need funding. Tucker could get rip roaring drunk, and recruit a Shakespearean actor living off the dinner theater circuit. With Bunny sewing the costumes at home, and Bill Dawes borrowing a Radio Shack video cam, Tucker will open to a $25 million weekend.
Tucker thinks that he's got a "franchise" or a "brand" on his hands. Bullshit. All he has is novelty, and the novelty of an overgrown teenager misbehaving and hooking up with sluts will start to wear thin pretty quickly. The star wars kid and that "nooma nooma" lipsyncer dude had novelty too, but their 15 minutes ran out pretty quickly. The same thing will happen to Tucker.
Here's proof positive IHTSBIH will open huge: the traffic to the web site is about even with the traffic to Ryan Holiday's blog. Yikes.
The sad thing is, both of them only beat out this site by a relatively small percentage.
This is way off topic but why did BC Woods leave rudius?
the. worst. script. ever.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LIpmtnlb2h4
even. worse.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VMULHnGiqzY
I hope that Patrick Cummings guy gets the part!
Well, its been almost two years now for some of you. We've explored the borderline (ok, actually it was blatant) homoerotic quality of many of the anit-tucker posts. The obviously unhealthy behavior exhibited by grown men who spend much of their time reading Tucker's blog and other related offshoots for research purposes, fact checking his stories for accuracy and constantly discussing the latest news on Tucker or other related characters. The response was that it was done out of humor. That it was a study in pathetic douchebaggery that has somehow held your attention for months, even years, and that it hasn't ceased to be an extreme source of entertainment and hilarity for you. I watch as people come here and share information..."Have you seen Tucker's latest budget numbers?" "Who's the director going to be?" etc, et al.
At first it was kinda interesting. There were even psycho's who really lost it in here. The guy who was obsessed with Marine Corp Wives for example (by the way I still love fucking Marine Corp Wives :)). People were convinced, and are still convinced that they are part of something big or important and that Tucker is in here with you discussing things with you one on one. I personally have spoken to numerous of you in the guise of Tucker, thats my sickness. Watching you all engage in this clearly deranged behavior is my own little insanity. Whatever reason brings you here, whether it be latent homosexuality, inferiority complex, extreme boredom, or if the plight of Tucker really HAS been funny to you for two years now and that file drawer of Tucker info (either real or in your head) seems perfectly reasonable to you. I just want to say Don't Stop What You Are Doing. Keep thinking about Tucker. Whats he up to right now?? How much is that movie gonna bomb?!?!?!?! Right guys! Seriously its gonna suck. Tucker has tiny ass hands and is like some kind of she-male with a shiny penis and he's all covered in oil!! ...uh, or not...whatev...Just keep on keepin on guys. Someone has to keep track of this stuff. Might as well be you. What could it all mean?
Think about tucker.
^^^
You do realize you're the most pathetic commenter here, right?
^^^ Yes. So....what do you think Tucker's doing RIGHT NOW?
Wow. That Patrick Cummings guy is a TERRIBLE actor. I mean the script sucks, but it sucks worse coming out of his mouth.
And where the fuck are they holding auditions? A fucking Holiday Inn Express? WTF?
This movie, if it gets made, may well be the worst movie in cinematic history.
BC Woods....
Tucker fucked him over on ad revenue and told him to drop out of college and work as a prison guard.
i bet patrick cummings is thinking about the think about tucker dude, who spends quite a lot of time thinking about this blog.
Tucker "Tucker Max stole" BC Woods' hard-earned money.
Think about Tucker guy: Youse a bitch. Now fuck off.
Think about Tucker guy: Youse a bitch. Now fuck off.
Wow, Patrick Cummings must have realized that he sucked, and that we were mocking him, because he took down his faggoty audition videos.
Either that, or Tucker intimidated him into pulling them off of YouTube. If that's the case, then the dude is almost as pathetic and full of cowardice as is Tucker.
If Patrick Cummings is indicative of the kind of "talent" that Tucker is pulling for his vanity project, I predict not just epic fail, but MEGAFAIL, a whole new category of fail formerly thought unattainable by the greatest minds that humanity has to offer.
Jesus Christ, Tucker... You have a fucking law degree, right? Why don't you just admit that you've fucked everything up immeasurably, and go use that Duke education of yours to do something worthwhile?
Hey, Tucker? Nobody thinks you're cool when you're in your mid-thirties and still acting like a 19-year-old frat boy. Give it up, admit that you're *marginally* better than that, grow the fuck up, and go practice law if you manage to pass the Bar exam somewhere.
Either that, or continue to entertain us with your never-ending douchebaggery, your James Frey-esque thinly-veiled lies, and your complete and total failure at being a productive member of civil society.
Well, if this isn't the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen:
http://ifuckedtuckermax.com/
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You get the idea. Some enterprising individual realized that Tucker's fanbase would go wild seeing that thing that they're totally unfamiliar with, pussy. Life imitates art, or is it that art imitates life?
Jesus, I didn't think that the legacy of Tucker "I suck at life" Max could become any more cheapened, but there you go.
Tucker, when spammers are registering domains entitled "I fucked Tucker Max" and then linking said domain to mainstream pr0n, that means that you fucked up BAD somewhere along the line.
Cue the Price is Right "YOU LOSE" music.
8:29: Pet peeve, but: "entitled "I fucked Tucker Max" "
It should be titled. Entitled and titled are not the same word, nor do they share the same meaning.
Regardless, (or should I say "irregardless" despite the double negative?) my money is on Tucker having registered that domain himself, hoping to scare up some money after seeing the ad revenues from his Rudius network disappear faster than the collective knowledge of basic grammar.
Was the Patrick Cummings video of a *real* audition in front of Max/Bunny/DickRex??? I thought it was just some guy filming himself at home a la the "Numa Numa" guy!
this blog rocks!
keep it up everyone!!
10X the entertainment that rudius blogs provide.
would love to see a film based on this blog.
Why do you people care about Tucker? Did he bitch you out on his message board?
Why do Tucker's fanboys care about us?
Stay on the rudius message boards.
Tucker is the future of media and hollywood. We know this because as less and less people read books, and as the NY Times is on the decline, Tucker has been on and off the NYT's also-selling list, with some corporate help.
So really, he is the expert on all things. And his movie will have a 25 million opening, relegating next summer's blockbusters to straight-to-DVD deals.
Plus he has hooked up with collge girls before.
Just ignore us. There is nothing exciting going on here. You will learn far more about living an examined life from ryan holliday.
No, I'm not one of his fanboys, and I know he is a douchebag. I'm only saying there are plenty of douchebags out there, so why do you people focus on this one?
we're not sure, but tucker may be the world's best-funded douchebag.
there might be a better-funded douchebag we can talk about.
please do share.
This isn't really a blog, it's more of a flame forum. Get it right next time, Tucker doucebags.
ifuckedtuckermax.com was Crash's blog. I guess it has lapsed. Much like her, it sucked anyway.
It's http://ifuckedtuckermax.blogspot.com/, Bubba.
Tucker's traffic kinda reminds me of bunny--always going down: http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/tuckermax.com
With all the HR & NYT articles and all the corporate backing and college speaking & private financing and advanced degrees, what could it all mean?
It doesn't "mean" anything, you raging douce.
amazon.com reports:
http://www.amazon.com/REVIEW-LAME-KEEPS-GETTING-DELETED/forum/FxFIT6WSO238TC/Tx2NNUW7U53HYO3/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tft_tp?%5Fencoding=UTF8&s=books&asin=0806527285&store=books
I posted a well-written, honest review of this one-star book (my opinion), and it keeps getting deleted! I posted it three times already. Hmmm.... seems like someone is totally threatened by what I have to say.
I am almost certain the author or his PR department is monitoring and flagging these bad reviews... how sad that he or they can't take a little honest criticism.
I simply stated my opinion--that this book would appeal to small-town folk or button-up corporate types who are sheltered and think that the kind of drinking and debauchery written in his memoires is subversive and "crazy"... when in fact, it's a little laughable for most of us who have been through more (and worse!!!) and don't have to flex our "crazy" muscles.
I also stated that the rare funny bits in this book were drowned out by his incessant self-promoting and bragging... I could barely get through this book because of that. It was annoying and tedious to read.
I'm sorry, to whoever is monitoring these, but that's just my opinion. I'm sorry if it doesn't sit well with you, but I just didn't find it all that great and the memoirs of some lame, over-privileged frat boy trying to "live on the edge"--laughably, at that--may not be of interest to some of us out here.
And stop censoring my reviews because your feelings are so hurt. Get a grip and deal with it.
http://www.amazon.com/REVIEW-LAME-KEEPS-GETTING-DELETED/forum/FxFIT6WSO238TC/Tx2NNUW7U53HYO3/1/ref=cm_cd_dp_tft_tp?%5Fencoding=UTF8&s=books&asin=0806527285&store=books
Tucker is corporate douchebaggery at its best.
Roll call: Are the "think about Tucker" guy, the "What could it all mean" guy, and the "corporate douchebaggery" guy the same person or not? Sound off, fellas!
I bet they're all ryan holiday.
ryan holiday isn't as talented of a writer as the "think about tucker" guy.
This is pathetic.
Your mama is pathetic.
just found this
thanks to everyone for the best reading i've seen in quite some time!
there's something in the air...something returning on home here...
Not really sure if this is a joke or not, but Ryan Holiday is claiming responsibility for the painfully unfunny site "faildogs.com"
It's kind of like that icanhascheezburger.com site, except it's limited to pictures of dogs, and the only available caption is "fail."
I can see why Ryan thinks ripping off two of the most popular internet fads (lolcats and "Fail" pictures) would combine to create a successful site... but shit. It's not funny.
This is the first time Ryan's posted actual details about his "job" on the Rudius blog, and if Faildogs is any indication... he's even more delusional than Tucker.
Is there something wrong with Tucker's site (aside from the obvious)?
Take a look at the Alexa ratings. I don't think the site has been rated this low since the year it was launched.
Ryan didn't even create FailDogs--he "took over" from the original creator. The creator had the domain and the submissions on eBay for $6500, so Ryan either bought it or promised great Rudius riches to the creator.
tucker is sooooo sub-prime.
and his poetry don't rhyme.
I hate to jump on the Ryan Holiday-bashing bandwagon (not because he doesn't deserve, but because it's just too easy), but I couldn't pass this up. From the master strategist's own e-mouth regarding Fail Dogs:
"It's really fucking funny and you should subscribe. I am going to blow this thing up over the next few months."
Riiiiiiiight. A website of pictures of dogs doing slightly amusing things with the word "FAIL" printed in circa 1994 paintshop text over them is going to be the cutting edge of the internet revolution. That is so completely delusional that I don't know whether to laugh at him, or weep for him.
Anonymous said...
Roll call: Are the "think about Tucker" guy, the "What could it all mean" guy, and the "corporate douchebaggery" guy the same person or not? Sound off, fellas!
5/10/2008 4:48 PM
Anonymous said...
I bet they're all ryan holiday.
5/11/2008 10:15 AM
Anonymous said...
ryan holiday isn't as talented of a writer as the "think about tucker" guy.
5/11/2008 12:02 PM
Well I'm the "Think About Tucker Guy" and the "What Could it all mean guy". I have been posting on and off in here for quite some time. There have been other people that have occasionally written "Think about Tucker" posts but I like to think they lack a certain panache. I am not Ryan Holiday. I think some of you longtime Tuckerphiles might remember when I revealed I went to Baylor and got verbally "beat down internet style", for that. I'm not the "corporate douchebaggery" guy.
Think About Tucker is kinda becoming a redundant slogan anyhow since I now know I don't really need to ask you to do it anymore. I already know how deep some of you are into all this. You know the little web of sites related to Tucker, you know his latest posts, the internet dramas, all the related persons and their various connections to it all. You guys are up on the latest news and minutia. I don't have to ask YOU to think about Tucker.
What could it all mean?
the upcoming movie will show what happens when corporate lawyers overtake entertainment in our brave new world.
Wow, I leave 8 months and the Baylor, "Think about Tucker" guy is still hanging out!
"Think about Tucker" was pretty funny at first.
Oh well, do carry on.
it's official: tucker's movie blog site now has more traffic than tuckermax.com. yes, that's how bad his site is doing. he'll probably try to do all he can to get his movie back in a magazine or on a big name website.
"Think about Tucker guy": The only reason I frequent this site anymore is to read your posts. You are hilarious! Your charisma, your with, your panache! I've taken your advice: I'm through thinking about Tucker. Now I'm thinking about YOU.
the awesome things is that the concepts on this board are where the true movie $$$$$$$ are at.
too bad tucker don't own the rights.
i think i know what it all means!
i think it means tucker is douchebag!
Attn: Ryan Holiday
here's an idea for a rudius website: FailMax.com. You could post blatantly bullshit excerpts from Tucker's stories along with the word FAIL in big red letters. Oh, and pictures of the fat/desperate girls he hooks up with. Oh, and pictures of Tucker looking like a chump. Oh, and videos of his lispy effeminate speech. Oh, and claims like "25 million opening weekend". Oh, and you.
FAIL MAX.
Here's a summary of Tucker's movie:
Three law students go on a road trip.
Douchebaggery ensues.
It's much more nuanced than that.
- Tucker acts like a douchebag at a job interview
- Tucker says all of SlingBlade's funny lines
- Tucker goes to gay strip club
- Tucker threatens lawsuit against strip club and they comp his dances and booze instead of kicking the shit out of him
- Tucker has explosive diarrhea all over the hotel lobby and bathroom
Oh, and a cameo by Platinum rapper Vanilla Ice.
this blog is so much more than a blog.
it is the blog read around the world.
it is the beginning of the rebellion.
like someone said above, soon we shall be free from subprime douchetardery.
Newsflash: "Blog Read Around the World" Gets One Comment Today in Stunning Upset!
"Newsflash: "Blog Read Around the World" Gets One Comment Today in Stunning Upset!"
Idiot. There's obviously a handful of Tucker fans who post here in an attempt to make the rest of us look crazy.
The Viacom guy, the Think About Tucker guy, the Fake Alexa ratings guy, (Tuckermaxdoucebag blog and freaksafari are ranked higher than Tuckermax.com!!), etc.
It's a quick, easy way to fend off a site that criticizes your work. You plant a few 'out-there' entries as if you're part of the site, then use them as an example of why there's no need to pay any mind to it.
Also - the main reason there weren't any new posts today is because Tucker hasn't done anything worth commenting on.
Hey everyone! Check out this sample from my new website 'Failsnakes'. It's nothing but images of snakes getting pwned! This is going to be huge!
http://img380.imageshack.us/img380/1301/failsnakescopygf1.jpg
"the main reason there weren't any new posts today is because Tucker hasn't done anything worth commenting on."
LOL. Well I'm sure you'll be waiting with baited breath. What makes you think you aren't crazy?? Or at the very least engaged in an unhealthy activity? The amount of time spent researching and discussing and being absorbed in all the minutia of Tucker's life is very strange indeed. I'm not a Tucker Stan. I thought I'd gone over this. I ACTUALLY dislike him. Not like you freaks who claim to hate him but perpetuate this clearly deranged (and borderline homoerotic) interest in every detail of not just Tucker's life, but that of all of his little compatriots as well. My goal is to turn a little light on it.
Homework for you: I want you to think about Tucker all day today. Either that, or conciously remind yourself to NOT do so. GO!
At the end of the day journal a little bit about how you feel about yourself. At the end of the week contemplate whether or not suicide is the best option for you.
What Could It All Mean?
Think About Tucker.
@ 5/15/2008 8:30 AM
Hey pot, it's your old friend, kettle. Ease up dude!
^^^ You're wrong. You're pot/kettle reference implies that I too spend all my time obsessing over Tucker. I don't know anything about what Tucker has been up to other than the bits I read in this blog and I skip over most of it because its nonsense. I work all day and it gets tedious, so I come here to post a message to rile the herd a little. This isn't the only place I post.
and no I won't ease up "dude". Where's the fun in that?
WCIAM?
^^^ Right, but you're making the same assumption by presuming the people who post here spend all their time thinking about Tucker. This thing takes up about 10 minutes of my day AT MOST.
Actually, that assumption really makes you look bad. It suggests you perceive the people here that way b/c you're relating them to your own experience.
That being said, I think you're kind of right; posting on a Tucker blog is a little unhealthy no matter how you cut it. But then again, that's exactly what YOU are doing, now, isn't it?
^^^ Nope. It doesn't take but 10 minutes to come here and read and post my comment, but these people are posting information about movie budgets. Ryan Holidays last post content. Info from Tuckers site. From Rudius media. From newspapers. From youtube. They know the inconcisitencies in all his stories by heart. They are posting site traffic numbers. Writing detailed saitirical stories/scripts about how gay Tucker is. They are familiar with how much money has made and which advances went to where. Where he has worked and info on his family. They know his friends names. They really "Think About Tucker". All I do is take a moment to move from spreadsheets to rattle the cage. It doesn't take but a moment.
The funny thing is how much time people spend thinking about the commenters here.
They come by here and sift through the comments and break them down into personalities and characters, documenting the literary art, like a librarian.
They even get sad when they don't see as many new comments as they wanted to see.
And most likely they are employed by guess who.
Think about Tucker dude:
Do you believe that people who follow soap operas have a problem? How about Nascar fans? And don't get me started on those football fans who have nothing better to do than sit around, drink beer, and memorize player stats.
How is following Tucker's real-life drama any different? You have your entertainment, I have mine.
It's been said before: the Think About Tucker guy and his ilk are Rudius employees.
I mean, who else would spent so much time reading and analyzing the comment section here only to use this "knowledge" to turn around and trash all the other posters?
They post here so that if Tucker ever gets called out on the existence of this web site, he can point to people like them and say that we're all crazy.
"Do you believe that people who follow soap operas have a problem? How about Nascar fans? And don't get me started on those football fans who have nothing better to do than sit around, drink beer, and memorize player stats."
Well I suppose its a matter of preference. My tendency to be critical (not the right word but the first one that comes to mind) stems primarily from my opinion that the doucebaggery of Tucker Max is so inane that your categorization of it along with these other more legitimate sources of entertainment speaks to your person and that of most of the rest here. I have a certain distaste for WWF fans as well. Plus the posts in here seem to mask muted cries for help. Especially back when one poster used to post highly gay-themed romps featuring Tucker and everyone else laughed it up and congratulated him. Many of the posts speak to a certain degree of madness. If you want to criticize me for also posting here, then keep in mind that my focus of being here isn't Tucker, its you. I think ya'lls strange preoccupation for this random Hollywood (wannabe) upstart is kinda interesting and the more I read your highly detailed posts and well-researched updates the more the drama of it all intensifies. The strange qualities exhibited in the language of the posts gives way to a certain kind of drama/suspense. These people and their collective obsession is for more entertaining than Tucker will ever be.
What Could It All Mean?
"I mean, who else would spent so much time reading and analyzing the comment section here only to use this "knowledge" to turn around and trash all the other posters?"
See Above.
Ah hell, I want to meet all of you! The think about Tucker guy, the corporate douchebaggery guy, and especially the small hands and dick guy. Let's all get together and have a Think-About-TuckerFest.
^^^ Done to death by slanderous tongue. Finally a smart one. How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties .
I expect you all to research my numbers and to develop quantifiable proof of my hypocrisy (expose the baseless fabric of my vision) via reading of my past posts just as 5/16/2008 10:10 AM has done so diligently. In fact, thats everybodies homework assignment.
That, and Thinking About Tucker.
The guy writes about getting drunk and fucking random women. What the fuck is up with the The Protocols of the Elders of Zion conspiracy garbage? Really, what was that?
I mean, really, until there's an actual movie or book I suppose this blog is pointless as a way to waste time. Its all conjecture on our parts and in all honesty, the guy is falling off the radar anyway. Waste of time indeed.
^^^ That conspiracy thing wasn't sincere. Somebody was just trolling. It was probably the Think About Tucker Guy.
Anyway, yeah, I kind of agree with you. There is better stuff to do than mess around on this blog.
why is it that when ron paul kicks ass with a #1 NYT bestseller, all the rudius douchebags pass it off as a conspiracy?
ron paul's book rocks.
he talks about the Constitution.
all you rudius douchebags talk about the elders bla bla bla and douchebaggery, boasting of your abortions.
ron paul is pro life.
ron paul rocks, and that's why he gets cut out of the major media and educational institutions, and tucker gets viacom ca$$h and duke u honorariums for his pro-abortion, sub-prime douchebaggery.
and that's why ron paul gets the honorable revolution & NYT bestseller and tucker gets the secret financing and abortions with skanks.
Ron Paul is a racist pandering to other racists. If you're going to sling mud, I guess it's easy when you live in the bog.
^^^^ What's wrong with Ron Paul? Why don't you call out Obama for the racist elements that he associates with?
^ So now it's a crime to "associate"? Go back to Red China, you communist fuck.
Rudius douchebags naturally hate Ron Paul, pro life folks, and the US Constitution.
Truth gets in the way of power for fiat-funded douchebags of debauchery and decline.
Tucker and douchebag Robert Greene like imagining their low-rent LA housing as king's castles.
But guess what.
Ron Paul gets the #1 NYT Bestseller, as well as his honor and intgerity.
And Tucker gets his endless abortions and skanks and secret funding and video tapings of anal sex, as corporate douchebags will finish last when the sheriff gets back to town.
Lol, "douchebags of debauchery." You're wasting way too much of your time with this trolling, but keep it up! Your posts are hilarious!
finally someone starts getting closer to the truth of the bubble
"Like that other poster said, if I get off on memorizing pointless football stats or watching Tucker Max fail, it's all the same. Most importantly, however, it's my business, so fuck off."
^^^^
The key words here being "get off".
douchebagsofdebauchery.com
douchebagsfinishfirst.com
hollywooddouche.com
maxdouche.com
tucker is a bit of a douche, when you think about it.
Just look at your own posts. In sentence #2 of the 5/15/2008 1:10pm post, you state that "it doesn't take but 10 minutes to come here and read and post my comment." In the last and second-to-last sentences you state not once, but twice, that "to rattle the cage" takes you only "a moment." Methinks the lady doth protest too much. If that weren't enough, in that same post, you list 14 specific facts the posters here allegedly know about Tucker. Of course, that means you know about them too. It also means you know about us. In a nutshell, you are calling a group of people out for something you also do. It's almost Freudian. It's certainly hypocritical.
Good observation.
The "Think about Tucker" guy spends way too much time obsessing over the various bloggers. He's the classic Internet Attention Whore.
And you're right about the time stamp. He's here constantly, as he's thinking about us.
What could it all mean?
Think about anonymous.
"And you're right about the time stamp. He's here constantly, as he's thinking about us."
I'd rather think about Tucker all day than think about you guys. I guess you agree with me.
How can Ron "The Racist" Paul be considered even remotely honorable?
Strawberry Kool-Aid is my favorite flavor. It's delicious!
Tucker is overconfident about the movie:
http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?p=657050#post657050
There is too much hilarity in that post to take in at once.
A. He researched and asked 'gearheads' and his decision was a Ford Exploder for the most reliable SUV.
B. He equates where he lives to a mid-priced economy car.
C. I hope he decides to blows the money he doesn't make back on the movie on Lambos so that he can end up on the streets like some failed sports star.
The thing about Tucker that creeps me out the most is that he uses the internet to pose as other people. He has admitted that at least two times. In The Now Infamous Tucker Max Charity Auction Debacle, he writes:
"I was unhappy with this, so I immediately posted this info on the Infirmation.com Silicon Valley/SF Greedy Associate board, and then, using four or five different anonymous screen names, proceeded to have a thread discussion on how horrible this was, how Fenwick was insulting it's summers, how no one was going to accept their offers because the firm was so cheap it wouldn't fork over the extra $300 a week, etc, etc. I even used one of my aliases to play the other side. It was beautiful. Of the 20 messages on this topic on the first day, I probably posted 10 of them. I kept this up, at a slightly lower output, for about three days."
There is also a SXSW recording floating around wherein he admits to posing as positive reviewers in order to drum up sales for IHTSBIH.
That kind of behavior really speaks to his character, and for me, it casts a dark cloud on the truth about his personality. I think that most people originally learn about Tucker through his "tales of debauchery" and that those stories are the reason why you initially like/respect/admire Tucker. But maybe it's all just BS. Tucker's whole persona is merely a mask. How creepy.
In some article I read a while back, called "Narcissists and the Internet," a psychologist claimed that narcissists love the internet because they can pretend to be the "grandiose selves" they imagine themselves to be, and thereby amass an admiring following. Isn't that exactly what Tucker has done with his stories and his messageboard? Isn't that why he wants to make a movie---not because he's some sort of artist who must express himself, as he claims, but a dangerous sociopath desperate for the attention fame would bestow?
I think yes is the answer to both questions. Even he admits he is a narcissist. Even Bunny says he is a sociopath. But, what do you guys (I mean the smart ones) think?
I think Tucker showed his true colors when he posted the Ms. Vermont story. He prides himself on not posting real names or pictures, but in that instance he decided to expose Ms. Vermont because of her alleged hypocrisy. Of course it was perfectly legal, but it was a bitch move. Her image was part of her career... exposing her like that was akin to taking bread out of her mouth.
Isn't it funny how now every one of tucker's posts almost reads as a direct rebuttal to this site and his reality?
In-between the lines you can see this:
"I am not a douche. No really, I'm not. I AM NOT A DOUCHEBAG!! I am not a douche. No way. Not me. I am an artist. Not a douchebag. I am a writer, not a douche. I am a producer, not a douche. My movie is going to do so well that I am going to buy a ford explorers, as they are the most reliable SUV, but I am not a douche."
Matt Czurchry is Tucker Max
I'm sure Tucker has serious self-esteem issues, which is why similarly damaged girls are attracted to him like moths to a flame. They validate one another. Tucker's saving grace is that he's superficial and somewhat bright. He'll self-destruct, but only within a limit. He knows there's a fallback career in law, and the safety net of dad's money.
Fallback career in law? Uh, no. His law degree is long past its expiration date for usefulness, and even if he were to pass the bar and start practicing, he'd be starting at rock bottom. It takes actual years of experience before you're a player as a lawyer.
the fourth wave began with the fall of the comet and it said i am here i am well and it burned so brightly like the candles of a thousand solar demons rocketing across the stratosphere...
this is tucker max. he brings pain he brings suffering he is the fallen child he is LEGION he represents the souls of a billion starving cannibals frolicking across the corpses of the virgins of yore...
he is the sign of the 2012, the mayan lord weeps as he slaps out his erect penis and prepares to mount the earth. it is said. it is good.
these are the times. tucker max is the times. the end of days approaches and ye who speaks in words of reason and law must now quaver before the almighty tongue of the damned. madness creeps on its hands on the back of our minds with its howls and promises of oblivion and peace.
yeh, tucker max. he is the 9th lord. yeh.
This place is wonderful. I first discovered TM by following a link from Maddox's site. I read the stories, liking them at first, then realizing they are all the same story. I was appalled that TM could be any type of celebrity.
Then I saw his movie board and again was struck dumb that he could be creating a movie. There was simply something not right in my worldview if such a douche of a human could really succeed by "blazing his own path" and being a dick.
I posted a note on his movie board and was shortly thereafter banned. After discovering this, I googled "tucker max" douche and found this site.
It helps to watch an epic fail of a jerk who shouldn't have been famous in the first place.
Keep on truckin'
Sometimes, my shoelaces are too tight, and it hurts my feet! I guess when that happens, I should just loosen them, huh? hahaha
^^^ No. Instead, take out your shoelaces AND HANG YOURSELF WITH THEM, YOU RAGING WHORE.
You know how, when you get a haircut, sometimes the little cut hairs stick to the back of your neck and they tickle a little?
I hate that.
think about tucker.
The Toyota Camry is a fairly fuel-efficient car for its size, and with the new comfort-and-ease features being implemented in newer cars, it's a good buy for someone looking for their first car.
Matt Czurchry is Tucker Max
My neighbor has this uncle, and his back's been bothering him lately. My buddy Eric's dad had a hernia; I hope my neighbor's uncle doesn't have a hernia.
If somebody is named Linda, it's not like her name is Sharon. It's Linda.
Come on, Dad. Get a clue.
Yall niggas just keep on gettin gayer and gayer.
The crust on this pizza is a little dry. It's not as bad as the crust on that one pizza we had at that place outside Coney Island that time, though.
Matt Czurchry is Tucker Max
These sandwiches are delicious!
"It helps to watch an epic fail of a jerk who shouldn't have been famous in the first place."
5/22/2008 10:05 AM
It helps? .....wow.
"think about tucker."
5/23/2008 8:57 AM
Get your own slogan fag-hat!
"The crust on this pizza is a little dry. It's not as bad as the crust on that one pizza we had at that place outside Coney Island that time, though."
5/24/2008 8:20 AM
I ordered Three Flavor Scallops from Dragon House. They only tasted like one flavor though...
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Matt Czurchry is Tucker Max
think about tucker.
imagine if all the alpha males from all corners of the planet were finally afforded a single place to congregate.
that is rudius media.
future generations will look like tucker, kung-fu mike, robert greene, and bunny.
a-list hollywood players, professional athletes, and honorable soldiers will be bred right off of this earth.
Jamie Kennedy took his blog off of Rudius.
Robert Greene doesn't even talk to Tucker anymore, let alone contribute to his site.
Mark Ebner? He might contribute three times a year.
If Tucker hasn't yet sat for a bar in any state, there's a good chance that no bar would let him sit based upon his arrest.
Even if he has passed the bar, he'd never be able to practice at a prestigious large firm. They wouldn't want his sorry ass working for them. He'd only be able to practice law at some small place in an obscure town where he wouldn't be recognized.
He better make the movie succeed or he'll be starving to death.
If your "Thinking About Tucker" lasts longer than four hours seek immediate medical attention.
Crap flood about Tucker.
What could it all mean?
Keep thinking about Tucker.
I just feel sorry and embarrassed for the Think About Tucker guy at this point.
Well, here we are again, back in this den of passive-aggressive homoerotic obsession. We've already discussed the obviously unhealthy behavior of those who obsess with an "Internet celebrity" to the point of conduction hours of research and fact-checking. I myself have almost fallen prey to this deluded quest to assert Internet dominance as I watched you all, hoping against hope that you would somehow come to your senses. Alas, the pathetic douchebaggery of Tucker et. al. has won your attention permanently. And I just want to say, don't stop now. Keep going! Keep thinking about Tucker, keep reading his blog and his forums, keep stressing and obsessing about every minute aspect of his life. Write him emails, call his home, try to find him in bars. Then you can show him! Then you can prove to Tucker that he's not as witty as he thinks, oh and by the way, does he know his movie is gonna bomb?! But alas, I won't be there with you. I'm quitting, right now. Maybe it was the Baylor haterz, maybe it was the dead horse that has long since been beaten into dust, or maybe it was just the constant fantasizing over Tucker's tiny body parts. I bid you all farewell. But you all keep going - somebody has to do what you're doing. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. What could it all mean?
Think about Tucker.
Matt Czurchry is Tucker Max
So, 4:07--I assume you mean Matt Czurchy was cast as Tucker?
I remember this one time, when I was REALLY tired. Why did those guys want to go to the video store? I just wanted to go home and take a nap.
It wasn't my fault I didn't get any sleep last night. Jerry's stupid dog kept me up.
I just feel sorry and embarrassed for the Think About Tucker guy at this point.
5/28/2008 12:17 PM
I've just been reading the posts mainly. I check here when I get to work in the morning. All these new "Think About Tucker" posts are frauds. The guy at 5/28/2008 3:19 PM did the best possible job at copying my flava. When he spelled "conducting" wrong though you should've known it wasn't me. Obviously he's been thinking about me quite a bit though. So thanks, 5/28/2008 3:19 PM guy. Keep thinking about the "Think About Tucker Guy".
What could it all mean?
It means that if your pinnacle of achievement is a Baylor MBA, you visit strange blogs in order to feel adequate.
Think about Tucker bloggers.
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
The last several "Think about Tucker" posts are frauds. The guy at 5/29/2008 6:30 AM did the most convincing job. But you should have known it wasn't me when he misspelled "flavor." While I'm flattered to have these imitators striving to copy my panache, it reveals the same sickness that causes you dissect Tucker's life under a microscope. If I keep acquiring followers at this rate, I'll be able to start my own fight club. Keep thinking about Tucker, and keep thinking about me.
What could it all mean?
Jesus Christ, this is insane. Get some friends, you fucking loser. Internet strangers who hate you shouldn't be your sole source of attention.
To the Baylor dude: I drove by the campus yesterday. Pretty, but that it's in/around Waco explains a lot about you.
Thizzle abizzle Tizzle.
Whizzle cizzle izzle azzle mizzle?
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
Someone needs to create a new blog and "forget" to invite the Think About Tucker guy. He makes the rest of us losers look cool as shit.
Max Tucker is Tucker Pendleton.
Hey man, lay off the think about tucker guy. He's the wittiest one on here!
Bill Bixby is David Banner.
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
"The way we are setting up the living accommodations in Shreveport, we are going to have two four bedroom houses. One for Nils and Jeff with two open bedrooms for guests, which will be the calm, nice house.
And then there will be the party house...with me, Benson and Greg (my other assistant), with an open bedroom for guests.
Considering that we are going to spend 2.5 months in these houses, and I have some money to spend, we have decided to go all out in tricking the party house out. We are currently coming up with a list of things to buy for it. Suggestions are welcome, but remember, this is a rental house, so we have to give it back like we found it......"
Man that house would be awesome...if I was 22 again. And isn't Tucker almost like, 40, now?
Looks like the bunny left him:
I left LA, and I don't really want to say where I've gone, or why, or how, because...I don't know. Maybe I'm tired of constant sharing, you know. Maybe I'd just like to keep this to myself for a little while, and then write about it later. Maybe I'd like some privacy?
And no mention of where Ryan Holiday is going to live.
No, he left here. He moved to Shreveport, remember?
I think hell would be having to live the lie with tucker.
HAHAHA, Tucker wants to "trick out" the party house. Fucking idiot.
Is Ryan Holiday moving to Shreveport with Tucker? If not, what are his plans? He posted that he's moving and boasts that he's "poised to make more money than I know what do do with".
Is he still working for Robert Greene? If so, why hasn't Greene's blog been updated since January? What is Greene up to these days?
Why did Bunny move away from LA and where is she now? What is she doing for work? What are her plans?
Has Tucker lost interest in Rudius, the blog platform? Nobody is updating; even DrunkRex has only posted once on his blog during 2008. Does Tucker consider Rudius a success, a failure, or an ongoing project?
This is the sort of nitty gritty stuff the fans really want to know. There are so many dropped threads that could be really interesting if the Rudius group would actually share what's going on rather than being so closed and oblique.
I would post this on one of the Rudius blogs, since I do consider myself a fan (I am following their lives and businesses after all), but I'm not really into having my traffic record published online or being otherwise cyber-stalked. These are people whose eye you don't want to catch.
I can think of nothing more depressing than living with tucker in a tricked out house playing mario cart as brave soldiers die for his well-financed douchebaggery on far-off, foreign shores, and millions more are aborted.
11:31 AM:
Absolutely. Those douchebags would "Wahoo" you in a second.
Those are some pretty interesting questions, though. I don't think anything will ever come of Rudius. As another poster said a few times a while back, Rudius Media, as a company, brings almost nothing to the table. Rudius offers web hosting and editing, although, with Donika gone, maybe they don't even offer editing anymore. Anyway, a good writer simply doesn't need Rudius.
I actually hope Ryan Holiday has a good future. He is a pretentious twat, but he's only 19 (?), and he is also very smart and dedicated.
working for a douchebag defies all smartness.
What could it all mean?
Because Tucker uses the profits he makes selling IED components to Iraqi insurgents. Yes, and he feeds his employees in his compound a stew made from the mangled, aborted fetuses obtained from nearby abortion clinics.
Matt Czuchry(sic)
Donika no longer works for Tucker Max.
Bunny has left the house in LA, probably never to return.
Ryan Holliday is leaving Rudius and the house in LA.
Here's what happened. Tucker, who has always said he'd take everybody who was loyal to him to great heights, ended up dicking over Bunny and Ryan. Neither of them factored into the cards, even though they were promised jobs on the film when it happened (shades of Troy Duffy).
Donika left Rudius because... there's really nothing for her to do. Nobody contributes to the websites of Rudius anymore, so where would she edit anything? Jamie Kennedy is gone from Rudius (when he wasn't even considered for a part in Tucker's movie). Robert Greene hasn't been on TMMB for over a year and barely contributes anything anymore.
Poor Bunny, it should have been obvious to her that she offered Tucker nothing in the film industry. After years of having to clean up after him and put up with his bullshit she leaves with absolutely nothing but a roadmap of sorrow and tears as well as weight gain and a serious alcohol problem.
Ryan... Yeah, I believe that you've hooked up with that awesome job in PR or whatever. You were basically the Scott McClellan of Rudius, nothing more, and nothing you did was mindblowing and your contacts are almost nil. How does dropping out of college feel now smart guy?
So that's about it for Rudius. Tucker fancies himself as a film guy now, and is banking everything on this movie becoming a success. With Matt Czucry as his lead actor and almost nobody worth mention in his cast, it's destined for a straight to video film that will find it very difficult to make back it's 6 million dollars. I'm sure Tucker will find a way to say that it was all Bob Gosse's fault, or Max Wong, or the people who financed the film, or the...
Who cares, Tucker's window is just about closed. Like a lot of people predicted, all the people who were part of Rudius when this blog began were thrown to the curb by Tucker when the time came.
Tucker is Troy Duffy circa 2007-08.
Hulu.com was named the best new site of the year, by MSN and PC World.
Remember a few months ago, when Holiday and Max said it wouldn't last?
Those Rudius boys sure know how to call 'em.
Tucker is famous for nothing more than being the perfect creation of a dying fiat empire--the true son of George Bush and Hillary Clinton.
Several persons on this website have engaged in an organized campaign of mis-information and mischaracterization against Tucker Max. These activities will be ceased immediately. I will be contacting my lawyer and AOL about this website.
"Hulu.com was named the best new site of the year, by MSN and PC World.
Remember a few months ago, when Holiday and Max said it wouldn't last?
Those Rudius boys sure know how to call 'em.
6/02/2008 8:35 AM"
Yeah, and the majority of the posters on the board ripped Holiday to shreds for it. What a maroon.
Speaking of Holiday...for someone with so many important jobs, connections, opportunities, etc., isn't it weird that when he "took stock of [his] possessions" he realized he "[didn't] have any."?
And his plan is to move into another situation where he shares a place with 3 or 4 other deadbeats?
What are you talking about? Ryan has possession of what is sure to be the next internet behometh: Fail Dogs.
Hulu? Crap, pure crap. Pictures of dogs with the word "FAIL" superimposed? Genius the likes of which has not been seen since Einstein.
I hope Tucker and his cadre rot.
Anonymous said...
Several persons on this website have engaged in an organized campaign of mis-information and mischaracterization against Tucker Max. These activities will be ceased immediately. I will be contacting my lawyer and AOL about this website.
6/02/2008 11:37 AM
Hahahahaha... okay, lady. Do you want us to provide you with our real names and addresses? Anything we can do to help bring ourselves to justice.
Not for nothing, but Nils Parker is a fat fuck.
1
2
4.7
7.29
Hahahahaha... okay, lady. Do you want us to provide you with our real names and addresses? Anything we can do to help bring ourselves to justice.
6/02/2008 6:25 PM
Young man, you are a rude and unruly brute. First of all, the correct way to address me is "madam" or "ma'am," NOT "lady." I have contacted AOL but was told that this website is outside of their jurisdiction. However, my lawyer has promised to file the paperwork necessary to ban this website from the Internet. The slander against Tucker Max shall be STOPPED!
"Madam" (is that a professional title?):
Have fun with the attorneys. The only thing that is promised to be a bigger failure than Max's movie is your "lawsuit".
From the genius, Nils Parker:
This movie promises to be a treasure trove of memorable, quotable lines. Every new person we hire or attach to the project invariably tells us they laughed out loud reading the script and loved this line or that line, and rarely are those lines the same. Of course I can't tell anymore because I've looked at the script 100 times and seen half the scenes performed 20-30 times. Fortunately, Tucker and I are funny motherfuckers so throughout the movie-making process we say and write things that are objectively awesome.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Now, Tucker may occasionally be funny and have a witty line or two, but Drex lacks even this level of comedic skill. He is not funny AT ALL and the worst judge of what is funny. Every time I find myself foolishly thinking that the movie won't be that bad, a post like this comes along and reminds me that yes, yes it will be because the principals are such deluded dicks.
Young man, you are a rude and unruly brute. First of all, the correct way to address me is "madam" or "ma'am," NOT "lady." I have contacted AOL but was told that this website is outside of their jurisdiction. However, my lawyer has promised to file the paperwork necessary to ban this website from the Internet. The slander against Tucker Max shall be STOPPED!
6/04/2008 11:32 AM
She's right, y'all. Can't you see that poor Tucker is the victim here? DOWN WITH HATRED!
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
Matt Czurchry(sic) is Tucker Max
^^^^^^^
Proof that Tucker is getting desperate. He's talked openly about how he uses the internet to manipulate things to his favor, so what other approach does he have for this site other than making crazy posts so that everyone who reads this thinks we're all a bunch of loons?
^^^ Personally I think you kinda prove his point by your own speculation over which post was written by Tucker. Specifically to rile you and to somehow have a protection against you by posting crazy things in advance so that he can point back and make you look crazy. The problem is that you think you matter. You think this site matters in the scheme of things. You suffer from a mild psychosis my friend. You, for one thing, are a almost a laugh but really a cry, to even have come up with your little theory. Lets see...you think that somewhere in the future (perhaps when the movie comes out?) some guy at a little party will say, "Well look, this Tucker guy obviously sucks because its proven through this spectacularly well-known blog called Tucker Max Doucebag. Haven't you seen it?" And everybody at that little dinner party will be like, "Well no I haven't, but I'm sure gonna go right home and check it out!" and then like wildfire people all over the country will rush straight here in rapid succession, all of them clamoring to read the posts, and most of all the comments writen by you of course!! And who better to school them on how much of a douchebag Tucker is than someone who knows everything about Tucker Max! BUT THEN, well my friends, this is where Tucker's devious little plan comes into action. This is it baby! You see, Tucker thought ahead, and made sure to plant loony sounding comments throughout the blog itself!!!! So when all of those eager beavers get here they read the blog and think, "Hey!! Wait a minute...these people are crazy!" Oh but you know better, and you're calling him out. You're the one thats figured it all out. You aren't drinking the Kool-aid! You aren't gonna take the blue pill! Your eyes are open man! Go get 'em!
P.S. - I especially enjoyed how you phrased the last sentence as a question. Makes people ask themselves. They'll see the truth baby! Oh their gonna see it alright!!
- Tucker himself (Seriously, Its me Tucker. I'll be thinking about you all night. So I expect you to do the same. Pinky swear?)
Tucker,
Don't you have a bad movie to lose investors money with to work on?
9:31
His reasoning isn't indicative of psychosis, and it's not any worse than yours.
9:31:
Wow, so a quick 30 second judgment I made about the posts you've likely been making (and I don't think you're Tucker, more likely an intern or a hard-core fan) is crazy, but a giant, rambling essay is evidence of a sound mind?
Yikes.
Tucker Carlson is Tucker Max
9:31 is the "Think About Tucker Guy". No doubt same writing style.
I didn't think it was giant or rambling, but I did think it was funny.
Sean Combs is P. Diddy.
10:35
I agree about the writing style, but there's no way 9:31 is the Think About Tucker Guy. 9:31 wrote about parties and talking to people. There's no way Think About Tucker Guy knows anything about that stuff.
HOLY SHIT!!!
He passed over every offer from every major studio . . .
"Let me be clear about this: We had 50+ legit movie financiers come at us and offer to fund this movie (this is disregarding all the "dumb money" private equity people we talked to). Pretty much every studio, every production company you have heard of in Hollywood, they all wanted to be part of this project. The numbers that were thrown at me were preposterous. But we skipped over the studios and some really big names to choose Darko."
Paramount, Disney, they all wanted a piece of Tucker Max, but fuck 'em, TM does things the TM way.
Darko is financing the movie? Really? Read this:
He said his production chose Shreveport for similar reasons than everybody else. “Great rebate, and a cheap place to film,” Tucker wrote. “We only have a $6 million budget so every bit helps.”
http://louisianamovies.blogspot.com/2008/06/i-hope-they-serve-beer-in-hell-to-drink.html
Six million is what Tucker had initially. Even though Tucker attached Darko, he still only has six million. Darko hasn't given Tucker shit.
Tucker is absolutely full of shit when he says he got an 8 figure offer for his work. That is truly unprecedented on every level. Let's put it this way, a real NY Times best seller like "DaVinci Code" fetched around 8 million for the rights. So Tucker is actually telling us that a book that sold less than 10 million units as Davinci Code is going to fetch more money? Oh, they were including his piece of shit script that he was touting in November as the bonus? Is he fucking kidding?
He's so full of shit it's laughable. To lie this publicly is an insult to his already idiot fan base.
Well, the value of the rights to the book and the financing for the movie are different things, but, yeah, I doubt he got offered 10+ mil.
I enjoy soup.
The value of his book and the screenplay are two different things, but IHTSBIH hasn't even made as much as the movie budget (6 million) in book sales in almost 3 years. Now he's telling people they were going to buy the TM brand for 10 million?
He's full of shit, there's no way this happened. This is why he couldn't get anybody of note to read for his script, let alone act in it.
Fucking liar. Yet another reason why Tucker Max is a douchebag.
It's entirely possible that he was offered the kind of money he claims. An offer of that nature wouldn't be based on how much the book has made, but how much the movie might make.
All that means is that financiers recognize that mainstream audiences will pay good money to watch garbage. Consider the condition of pop culture - will it be any great feat for Max's movie do to well? 50 Cent sells millions of records. Kevin Smith has punched millions of movie tickets. Tucker Max has sold hundreds of thousands of books. Western culture is in a state of rapid decay; there's no reason why Tucker won't find an audience in the rotting pit of Generation X and its generational successor.
^
He didn't even generate a seven figure offer for the script rights. Had he understood the industry, hired a real publicist, and retained an agent, he might have picked up a decent offer. But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.
I too enjoy soup.
Tucker's post today about him "not wanting to deal with agents and managers" is another fabrication. Facts are, Tucker is pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood. He could not get any name actor to read for him. The part about where he said that he threatened to beat up a manager and/or agent who claimed he lied is actually true, and it's the reason why he's blacklisted.
"The part about where he said that he threatened to beat up a manager and/or agent who claimed he lied is actually true, and it's the reason why he's blacklisted."
According to you, the reason why he is blacklisted is that he threatened a "manager and/or agent."
By the way, I like the great details you give, like how maybe the guy was a manager, although he may have been an agent. Or maybe it was two guys, and one was a manager, and the other was an agent. Yep. I can tell you know all about the situation.
"Facts are, Tucker is pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood. He could not get any name actor to read for him."
According to you, he couldn't get any name actors to read for him because he was blacklisted.
Do you see the error in reasoning? Here's a hint: Tucker did readings before he threatened the "manager and/or agent."
'Do you see the error in reasoning? Here's a hint: Tucker did readings before he threatened the "manager and/or agent."'
And how do you know that, hmmm? Because that's what Tucker wrote on his blog, you say? Because we know that Tucker always tells the truth, doesn't he? I hope you die in a fire.
You're right, he couldn't get name talent NOT because his name means nothing in Hollywood, it was because his script sucks.
Think again.
No manager or agent in their right mind would send out their client to read for any part. He tried very hard to get two actors who never bothered to read for the script. His calls at the agency, despite that he had some money in escrow to show he was for real, were never answered. He simply could not cast this movie with anybody worth a damn. When this became evident, TM tried to deftly switch gears and say he wasn't looking at "name talent" because the Tucker Max role was going to be like the James Bond of comedy (which is funny because he's already run out of material).
Managers and agents didn't want to deal with Tucker, not the other way around.
More power to Tucker for getting his script off the ground, less power to him for trying to manipulate reality so he comes out as the guy he portrays in his books.
He's also kidding himself if he's counting page hits as a harbinger of success. Facts are, he's sold a total of around 350K in units. He touts how his book is still on the NYT Bestsellers list, yet he's been touting the same 300K-350K in book sales since 2006. His name means dogshit outside of a small and shrinking core audience. That's about 4.2 million dollars in book sales. He's stating in his blog that his page hits count for something (which is fucking funny since he now says Alexa ranking mean shit). Remember, those page views are all people looking at FREE CONTENT. For a film, you are figuring that people will PAY TO SEE YOUR MOVIE.
Now his movie and it's cast of complete nobodys, directed by a nobody, and written by a nobody is suddenly going to break the bank? Did he not read his own material? The same script he was saying was groundbreaking and awesome ended up getting leaked a few months back. It was a total piece of shit vanity project. Yes he rewrote it, but that doesn't mean he's suddenly gotten funny.
His lies border on delusion. This is going to Tucker Max fail.
Why does Tucker brag that he threatened to kick somebody's ass? That just makes him look like that crazy guy who gets violent at business meetings... you know, the guy that nobody wants to have anything to do with.
6/09/2008 11:31 PM
Fair analysis. It's also worth noting , based on the chronology, that the leaked script was the version he started the whole funds-raising process with. All that means is that someone read it and thought it would make a good movie. This happens hundreds of times each year. How many terrible, terrible movies are released every year? How many straight-to-DVD features show up at the local Blockbuster every week? Getting someone to take a gamble on a movie is not an indication of quality.
Besides all that, I think it's interesting that Max spent to much time raving about how 'awesome' his script was, then admitted to an extensive rewrite after it got leaked. It was either awesome or it needed lots of work; it couldn't have been both.
So basically Tucker was completely "funding the movie", but had to get financing through a 3rd party?
Tucker threatened to kick someone's ass?
Must have been a fag.
Or a girl.
Or it's that legendary Tucker Max humor.
Tucker's reaction to negative press is hilarious. He's a total control freak; he tries to control every aspect of how his "brand" is managed and represented, and that means he can't tolerate negative attention. The real world isn't his message board where he can ban everybody who isn't subservient enough, so instead he emails them and whines about how they're misrepresenting him. Tucker needs to realize that he's far too insecure with himself, and he eventually has to learn how to take criticism.
The whole problem with Tucker's reaction to that blog-article-whatever-thing is that the part of the piece he was so up-in-arms over was speculative; it was like an op-ed thing. The guy wasn't presenting it as a fact- he was opining.
Tucker actually wasted blog-space, time, effort, and energy to refute an opinion.
This says much about Tucker's self-image, as well as his desperate need to control his public image.
"I'm all for opinion, but tell the truth," he cries. Well, one can hold an opinion that isn't true. "I'm going to hold everybody who deals with me accountable," he proclaims, as though he's some sort of modern-day ultraist, riding in from the distance to show everyone how they've all been doing everything wrong.
His claim to fame is STILL a book (and site) of stories about throwing up on people and crapping in a hotel lobby. Noble beginnings, indeed.
Sorry, Tucker... you're not the social revolutionary you think you are.
Now scoot on over to another website - but on your way out, be sure to remind yourself (as you always must), that there's no WAY any of what I've written could be true, since I've written it anonymously on some nothing-blog, and you've got a famous website and a bunch of people who want to make a movie with you. Remind yourself of your 'successes,', because they will surely cover up your failures.
But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.But the book sales are relatively paltry, which is the best reflection of brand equity.
I'm not only amazed at how many of these people are "in the business" or have rare in-depth knowledge of how "the business" works. I'm also equally astonished that those same people post here!
Brand equity refers to the marketing effects or outcomes that accrue to a product with its brand name compared with those that would accrue if the same product did not have the brand name.
Wow.
Sales REALLY ARE the BEST reflection of brand equity. And here I thought you were just trying hard to sound smart.
Don't let me stop you, pontificate on.
Ruminate over the sublime visage of Tucker.
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